The Law of Attraction states that we create our own reality, and that we can have anything we want. But how does this work when it comes to love and other people? Can we attract a specific person? Can we make someone love us?

Here’s the thing: you are the creator of your own reality. But just yours. You cannot create in someone else’s reality. What that means is, you can’t force a specific person to be a vibrational match to you.

Let’s say you’re a single girl and there’s a guy you’re really attracted to. But he doesn’t seem to know you exist. Or, he likes you as well, but somehow, the two of you just can’t seem to get it together. If you were a vibrational match, you’d be together. It would happen easily. The fact that it seems difficult, the fact that you’re not together, means you’re not a match. You can’t force him to love you and neither can the Universe.

But, don’t let that depress you. Let me explain: the Universe will show you what you are vibrating, what you’re putting out there. It will mirror your beliefs. So, this amazing guy comes along, but for some reason, you can’t seem to get it together. Sometimes, ok often, our vibrations aren’t all that clear or specific. They’re kind of fuzzy. And so the Universe shows you things that are close, to help you become clearer and more focused. “Like this? How about this one? More like that one?” And then you have the chance to say “Yes, like this one, but I want him to live closer. That one’s good, but taller,” etc.  

So, even if this guy isn’t “the one”, he’s an indicator of where your vibration is currently at. And if he’s awesome, that means your vibration is already pretty awesome. The men you are attracting into your life are a mirror for what’s going on inside you.

So, what do you do now? My advice is this:

• I know it’s hard, but don’t get stuck on the idea that this guy has to necessarily be the one. He might be, he might not be. Stay open to the possibility that he’s the precursor to someone even better.
• Focus on why you like him so much. What are the qualities that attract you? What specifically do you like so much about him? Keep focusing on those things. You’re refining your vibration, sending the Universe a clearer message on what you want.

• Keep in mind that there are many things you don’t know about him, so you can’t know that he’s perfect for you. Trust the Universe. The Universe sees the whole picture. If you’re not getting together, there’s a reason. Don’t force it. Every time you find yourself getting frustrated (about anything), you’re working too hard. You’re trying to do the Universe’s job. Stop that. 😉
• Don’t spend all of your time obsessing about this guy, or the fact that you’re single. Go do something fun, be happy. If you keep thinking about how lonely you are, the Universe cannot bring you anything but situations that make you lonely. Yes, this takes practice, but it’s a lot more fun to focus on how great your life is than on the fact that you’re waking up alone every morning.

Of course, it is possible that as you do this, this guy that you like will end up being a match. You don’t have to give up on him altogether, just be open to the possibility that he’s just an indicator and someone even better is about to show up. After all, if this guy isn’t a vibrational match to you, meaning that you’re not a match to each other, do you really want him? Neither one of you would be happy in such a relationship.

There may be a part of you that’s thinking “But what if that other, better guy never shows up? Wouldn’t it be better to have this possibly ‘imperfect’ match now, than nothing?” This fear of being alone forever is perfectly understandable. We’re virtually bombarded by the media, our family and friends with the “fact” that if we don’t find true love and get married by a certain age, we are destined to die alone. We are taught that we need another person to complete us, that without a partner we are somehow incomplete and that love is for the young and attractive. So every second that goes by takes us a little closer to old age and guaranteed wrinkly loneliness. Sound familiar?

The truth is that finding love has nothing to do with our number of wrinkles. If that were the case, all young people would be in love and oldies would never find it. And that’s just not true, is it? Finding love, just like everything else, has everything to do with your vibration. And really, you shouldn’t try to find love. Let it find you. Focus on living your life with passion, on having as much fun as you can, and refine what it is that you really want in a partner by paying attention to what you like about the current men in your life. Don’t settle for something less than you deserve out of fear. Relax and enjoy being single. There’s nothing wrong with it. Get to the point where you’re having so much fun that you don’t even notice that you’re single anymore. When you’re at that point, you’ll be vibrating “I’m happy, I’m whole, I’m complete”, and the Universe won’t be able to help but bring you more and more situations that make you feel that way. That’s when the guy you truly want will show up. That’s when you will let your vibrational match in.