In the article How to Visualize – The Secret to What Visualization Really Is, I explain that visualization is really just a way to test out your vibration before you let it create your reality. When you visualize your perfect love life, for example, you might find yourself taking the story into a dark place: suddenly you’re fighting, or he cheats, she spends all your money, etc. If this happens, it’s an indication of your vibration – you’re holding on to a belief that’s creating a reality different from what you want. The idea is to be able to visualize the partner you want, easily and effortlessly. Once this happens, you’re aligned with that partner and the Universe can bring them to you.

Today, I’d like to focus how you see yourself in that visualization. Many of us have a tendency to insert a “better version” of ourselves into our fantasies. You might see yourself with the perfect man, but when you do, you’re suddenly thinner, with nicer hair, better skin, and a much better wardrobe. Men see themselves with the perfect woman, but in their vision they have more hair, a higher salary, a nicer car and six pack abs. Who are these people?!

If you can visualize the perfect partner, but can’t comfortably see yourself with them, as you are right now, you have a belief that you, as you are in this moment, aren’t good enough to be with that partner. Guess what? That vibration is never going to bring you together with that lover you want. It isn’t that you’re not good enough, it’s that you don’t believe that you are. And that belief creates your reality.

If this is you, you have two options: You can downgrade your vision of that perfect partner, until you can believe that they’d actually love you, or you can upgrade your vision of yourself. I recommend the latter.

But how do you go about seeing yourself in a better light?

• Decide that you’re going to. You can choose to think about yourself in a more positive way. It’s absolutely possible to consciously guide your thoughts in a chosen direction. Decide today that you’re not going to put yourself down anymore. You’re not going to think thoughts like “I’m fat” or “I’m ugly” or any other derogatory thoughts you’ve been thinking. Replace these ugly thoughts with better ones. Focus on what you like about yourself. What’s great about you? What do others like about you? Read Recognizing Your Greatness for more inspiration.
• Get some perspective. You’re obviously judging yourself, but by what criteria? You think your thighs or beer gut are too big, but compared to what? Even if you avoid TV, chances are your standard of beauty has been affected by the unrealistic examples of Hollywood and the media. Did you know that they don’t just airbrush and alter photos, but actual film now? Nothing you see on screen and in print is real. No one, even the actors and models themselves, is that perfect. No one. Go to your local Walmart and have a look around. How do you measure up, honestly? Stop comparing yourself to computer generated visions of what we might look like if we were all robots, and get real. The human body is not perfect. But that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.
• Spend some quality time looking in the mirror and picking out all your good parts. You may have never done this before. Most of us use any glance in a reflective surface to check if the worst part of our bodies is still as horrible as we think it is. Try focusing only on your good bits for a change. Do you have a lovely neck? A slim waist? Gorgeous eyes? Use every glance in the mirror to check if that part is still as beautiful as you think it is. It will be. This exercise alone can trigger a profound change in the way you see yourself.
• Become the better version of yourself. Sometimes, it’s easier to work with your beliefs than to change them. If you have a belief that the athletic man you want would never be attracted to someone who doesn’t go to the gym, and you see yourself as sporty and in shape in your visualizations, perhaps you might want to join a gym. Use this technique sparingly, though. If you’re talking about changes that you want to make anyway, like eating healthier, or getting a nicer haircut, go for it. But if you’re making changes just to attract a man (or woman) – don’t. Playing into these beliefs will only limit you further.

Your visualizations are a type of manifestation. They can tell you where your energy is at, and what your limiting beliefs are. How you see yourself in your visualizations can give you powerful clues on what you think about yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for these thoughts – we all have limiting beliefs. The idea is to figure out what they are, and change them. Change the game. Change the visualization. Change your beliefs. And you’ll change your reality.

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