I curse. I freely, openly and sometimes graphically express myself. I always have. I love words, the way we can use them to express our thoughts and feelings, and elicit responses from others. Words can convey meaning and emotion, and connect us with others. And dirty words are part of language, whether some people like it or not. I’m not writing this post to confront anyone, you can like cursing or not, it really doesn’t matter to me. And it’s not my intention to offend anyone, which is why I omit the worst of the worst on this blog (I will make implications though). The reason I decided to express my views on this topic is because a lot of fellow spiritual seekers think that if you’re spiritual, if you’re connected, the F-Word suddenly becomes off limits to you. I disagree.
I remember being admonished once by another teacher, for dropping the F-Bomb in conversation. He wasn’t offended, he simply wanted me to realize that words have power, and I had to be careful how I expressed myself. I could actually inflict wounds upon people and the world by choosing the wrong words. This view has since been reiterated to me (not necessarily in response to my language) on several occasions. Watch what you say, it might come back to bite you in the ass. Um, no.
Words are a way to express energy, one of many. And as with all those forms, what matters is not the medium itself, but the energy behind it. In other words, not all F-Bombs are created equal. I think curse words are funny. They get people’s attention. I use them to emphasize a point, to break up tension, to highlight emotional peaks.
A curse word said in anger, will express the vibration of anger. It will make people who do not resonate with that emotion uncomfortable. They may attribute that discomfort to that awful dirty word, but it was really the energy behind the word that caused their feelings. A curse word said in happiness, doesn’t have the same effect.
I’m not advocating that everyone go out and curse their hineys off. You should do whatever you feel good about. My point is this: Words themselves don’t have any power, other than that which we attribute to them. If you routinely curse, evaluate why. If you’re expressing hostility, anger or are using the words to keep others at bay, you’ll want to deal with those feelings. But if, like me, you’re expressing joy and happiness and an aptly placed phrase gives you a giggle attack, then go for it. The words themselves don’t matter. It’s the energy behind them that does.
Having said that, I used to curse very differently than I do now. This was quite a few years ago, but I expressed the emotions I felt at the time – frustration, anger, at times even rage. The cursing was ugly (as was any other, curse free expression of those emotions). I wanted to make others squirm, I wanted to push them away. I wanted to confront them with their own limiting thoughts and smoosh their faces into them. If someone was offended by my words, I cursed all the more. Deal with it, was my motto.
Now, I curse much less. I express far different emotions. If someone is offended (although I can’t remember the last time someone was), I stop. That’s not my goal and if it doesn’t cost me anything to respect their wishes, I do. As I use my intuition more and more, I don’t tend to curse around people who it would bother. It just doesn’t feel right to me (this is the reason I don’t curse outright on this blog. I’m guessing there are readers out there who would be distracted by it, and would no longer be able to hear the message). And when I do occasionally (or not so occasionally) drop an expletive into the conversation, I do it with glee. I do it on purpose, quite deliberately, to express a certain intention and elicit a certain response.
So, if you’re a spiritual person and you want to curse, I say go for it. Be aware of what you’re expressing, but as long as the energy behind your words is positive, you’re not going to hurt yourself or wound the world. Do what makes you feel good, say what you mean and feel, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you, being you, is inappropriate. Use language and any form of energy expression in whatever way feels most authentic to you. Don’t curse out of spite, and use your intuition to know when others will react the way you want them to (hopefully positively). Feel free to express who you really are, even if, for you, that includes the occasional F-Bomb.
Good post and much needed Melody.
Now, as Bill Burr would say, F-off. 🙂
“Wounding the world” HAHA! This just makes me think of certain people. In Australia they are known as “Bogans”. In the UK-“Chavs”. In the US “Rednecks” or “White Trash”. Where I live in Australia there is one man in particular, a huge Bogan who stands outside wounding the world everyday. He wounds the world about his car, his girlfriend, other people, the weather it’s all f@#í to that guy. 🙂
There’s not really any way to wound the world (the world is fine). This man is shouting his pain to anyone who will listen in a misguided attempt to feel better. He’s hoping that if he shouts loud enough about what is wrong, he’ll figure out how to fix it. Or maybe someone else will. But you can’t hear the solution while you’re shouting about the problem. And so, it just creates more pain. A lot of people operate this way. We have been trained to think that complaining will help in some way. It doesn’t, other than to help define the problem further which could help us define the solution further. But at some point, we have to be willing to look for the solution and the first step to doing that is to acknowledge that a solution exists, that there is a way to feel better and that things could get better, even if you don’t yet know how.
You can look at this man and see a perfect example of someone who is keeping himself stuck right where he is.
Thanks again Melody!
I was not expecting this reply to my joke! 🙂 I thought the concept of wounding the world was hilarious. I know it isn’t true otherwise we’d be in trouble with all those Bogans in my street alone! 🙂
I didn’t think much of the man, but you used him as a learning tool! Excellent!
You mentioned complaining. That’s something I’ve been trying to work on. I’m aware it’s causing me strife. I got into “Will Bowen” I listened to his C.D. I mostly like his relaxing voice and just listened to it when going to sleep!
This brought up something huge for me. I really appreciate your reply. I’ve had the universe prove me right. I was brought up with the concept that: “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” and the universe keeps proving me right. I’d try to be virtuous and not complain- this lead to being ignored.
I remember back in 2007 and around that time I remember getting a huge compliment. I was told that despite leading an obviously difficult life I did not complain. Someone recognised that effort and applauded me for it. I felt very proud about this and happy finally someone validated my situation and agreed that is was indeed bad (that’s what I thought it was-validation) and that I was not complaining. But that recognition was few and far between and in general I was in a sinking boat, not complaining. I made the inference that not complaining gets you sunk and ignored.
I was taught and encouraged by myself and others that not complaining got me into trouble. They said never be ashamed to get help and put your hand up.
Now the last couple of years I have become (to the extend of being noticed and annoying to others) one of the worlds’ biggest complainers! I created such a bad habit of complaining it’s second nature. I’m now the squeakest wheel you ever saw!
The conclusion is that neither approach worked. Not complaining does leave you ignored and without help. Complaining makes you look annoying and negative.
I have yet been able to find the middle ground.
I think this is a common struggle for many people. How does a person get help and let people know they are in pain & avoid being ignored- without complaint?
Personally I can see with myself the subconcious block to let go of complaining is that fear of being left with the problem and suffering in silence.
There are even advertisements about these things on t.v. Men in particular who have depression are encouraged to talk about their feelings, share the problem- don’t sit there alone and lead to mens’ suicide. I agree. But then could there be a risk the’d just start complaining about everything?- Because getting help for a genuine reason was how I got “recruited” 😉 into the land of complainers!
I return your hugs and kind words. 🙂
You know, you make a really interesting point. There’s a huge difference between feeling like complaining (i.e. something is bothering you) and shutting your mouth about it, while keeping yourself in the situation that’s bothering you. That’s just painful… And continuously complaining about the same crap over and over again (keeping yourself stuck where you are.) The key is to acknowledge how you feel and do your best to feel better. In other words, there’s a middle road. I will ponder this and may write a post about it. It’s a useful distinction to make…
This post is the shit! ’nuff said.
LOL. Thanks Fred!
But how well and true and commonsensiclly balanced this opinion is..i might add,..Melody ..refreshing as well. i also smiled alot reading. appreciated!
Thanks again Earl! And you’re welcome.
This was really funny. I love to curse. And I’m spiritual. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Thanks for supporting the point better than I ever could.
Glad I could help. And thanks for stopping by!
Oh my God. Thank you so much for this. I have a spiritual friend who is always censoring everything I say. I know that sometimes she’s pointing out my limiting thoughts to me, and that’s ok, but often I’m feeling great and flying high and her criticizing my words actually brings me down. Thank you for confirming what I’ve always suspected. If I feel good, that’s all that matters. I’m showing her this blog post.
Being afraid of words, is, in itself, a limiting belief. 🙂