We all get depressed from time to time. Something happens in our lives that takes us by surprise, that we weren’t expecting or that we’re not prepared to deal with and we go to that dark place. We know, intellectually, that we don’t have to feel that way. But in that moment of darkness, that knowledge is little more than theory. We don’t have access to the clarity we need in order to pull ourselves out of the pit of despair. And that just makes it worse. Not only are we in a funk about whatever happened, but now we’re feeling like a failure for allowing ourselves to get into that state in the first place. Oh happy days.
Hitting those low points every once in a while is unavoidable. It’s going to happen. Without seeing what we don’t want, at least every once in a while, we can’t know what we do want. It’s like going to an art gallery and looking at all the paintings. Some, you’ll love. Many will leave you indifferent. And some, you’ll absolutely despise. That funky state is the equivalent of having looked at a painting you hated. You focused on a thought that didn’t make you feel good. And if it’s a well-worn thought, something you’ve made a habit of focusing on in the past, it’ll be really easy to fall back into that line of thought. But habits can be broken, and once you have an understanding of what’s happening energetically when you’re in that funk, you can definitely find your way out of it.
How we get into a funk
So, you’re staring at that horrible painting in the art gallery. You hate it. You can barely stand to look at it. It’s so repulsive, it’s giving you a stomach ache. But for some reason, you just keep looking. You feel awful, but you can’t stop staring at it. And the longer you look, the worse you feel.
This is exactly what’s happening when you become depressed. You’re looking at a situation in a way that feels bad. It isn’t the situation that’s causing your negative emotions, but rather your thoughts about them. And as long as you keep thinking those thoughts, you’re going to continue to feel worse, until you’re in a full blown funk.
Let’s say you’re having a great day. Your vibration is nice and high and you feel great. Then you find out that you didn’t get the promotion you wanted at work. You’re going to have some thoughts about that. You didn’t get the job because you’re not good enough (=unworthiness). Or, you didn’t get it because your boss is an incompetent butthead who wouldn’t know good work if it bit him in the ass, but there’s nothing you can do about it (=helplessness). Now, these thoughts are awful and untrue and vibrationally at a much lower frequency than where you generally vibrate. By focusing on that frequency, you’re lowering your vibration and that’s going to feel bad.
Being in a funk blocks your access to better feeling thoughts
The obvious solution, from a theoretical point of view, would be to simply focus on a better feeling thought – one with a higher vibration. You could realize that you didn’t get the job because you’re not a vibrational match to it right now and that this could actually be a really good thing. In other words, an even better manifestation could be on the way, and getting the promotion could’ve gotten in the way of it. The fact that you didn’t get promoted is absolutely no reflection on your worth and the Universe is always responding perfectly to your vibration, so you do have control over your experience. And if you could do that, it would take you only a few seconds to shift your thoughts and vibration and your funk would dissipate.
The problem is that once you’re on that track, once you’re firmly ensconced in that lower frequency, you no longer have access to the clarity that the higher vibration provided. You know that you should be able to feel better, that there’s a way for you to get there, but you just can’t seem to find your way. The pull of the unworthy and helpless thoughts is too strong.
You try to shift your perspective and look at the situation in a different way. And if the problem is fairly minor, this can be easy and effective. But issues that will put you into a full blown funk are generally not minor. So, when you try to think “This could be a good thing. This isn’t my fault. I’m just not a vibrational match”, you don’t feel better. Those thoughts don’t ring true and in that moment, you just can’t believe them. It’s so much easier to think the negative thoughts, even though they make you feel like crap.
Don’t try to feel better about the issue that put you in the funk
The #1 mistake that most of us make in this situation is to try and get out of our funk by feeling better about the issue that caused us to feel depressed in the first place. What we’re trying to do is take that lower vibration, grab onto it with both hands and drag it up to a higher frequency. But this is never going to work if we’re so firmly entrenched in that lower frequency that we can’t even imagine what that higher frequency will feel like. Issues that trigger big, deeply rooted beliefs can be insidious that way.
So, when your friends tell you that there will be other jobs, that the company doesn’t deserve you, and that you’ll be just fine, you don’t feel better. As long as you keep thinking about the fact that you didn’t get the promotion, you’re going to continue to feel worse. The law of attraction will just continue to bring you more and more thoughts that vibrate at this low vibration and it’ll get easier and easier to think them (and hard and harder to change your thoughts).
So, what’s the solution?
Use distraction to raise your vibration
If your friends sit you down and try to cheer you up while talking about the fact that you didn’t get the job, it’s just going to make you more and more depressed. But if your friends take you to a bar to drink some beers, play some pool and watch the game, and you spend the evening joking around and reminiscing about who you dated in high school (or basically any subject that isn’t related to your work and lack of promotion), you’re going to begin to feel better. Why? Because you’re accessing thoughts of a higher vibration.
If you think about thoughts that are completely unrelated to your problem and which don’t trigger any thoughts about it, you’ll be able to access higher frequencies, which will feel better. Keep focusing on those higher frequency thoughts and your overall vibration will begin to rise and stabilize. Do this consistently and you’ll quickly and easily get out of your funk.
Now I know that many of us believe that if we don’t spend time on the subject, thinking it through and desperately searching for solutions, we’ll never make progress. How can I ask you to just ignore the fact that you didn’t get a promotion? Don’t you have to react to that? Don’t you have to plan your future and figure out what you’re going to do next? If you just ignore it, if you don’t beat this subject into the ground and get clarity, nothing will ever change right? Wrong.
As long as thinking about your promotion makes you feel awful, stay off of this subject. All you’re doing is lowering your vibration, which will attract more and more bad feeling things into your life. Is that really what you want? Get into a higher vibrational state by distracting yourself with better feeling thoughts and stay there until you’re stable.
The activities which can distract us are infinite in number, but here a few simple ones to get you started:
- Go for a walk. Walking can really clear your head and get your thoughts going into a different direction. I often take a walk, especially when I feel stuck. It really gets the energy moving again.
- Play a video game. Video games can focus all our attention onto a neutral subject. While you’re playing the game, it’s hard to mull over your issues. Just twenty minutes of mindless fun can reset your energy.
- Take a nap. When you sleep, your vibration rises. If you’re really depressed and it’s hard to find a distraction, take a nap and try again.
- Exercise. Do some Yoga, go for a run, lift some weights or run after your kids. Any kind of physical activity can really take your mind off your problems for a bit.
- Listen to uplifting music. Music can definitely change your mood and get your thoughts going into a different direction.
- Meditate. Meditation quiets the mind and raises your vibration which gives you access to more positive thoughts.
- Have sex. If this doesn’t distract you, you’re doing it wrong. 😉
- Get drunk. No, I’m not kidding. If you enjoy alcohol, getting your buzz on is a time tested method of distraction (unless you’re a depressed drunk, that is). Inebriation also temporarily lowers resistance and allows your vibration to artificially rise. It won’t lead you to enlightenment, but it can certainly temporarily distract you. Don’t overdo it, though, otherwise the hangover will put you in a funk of its own.
- Do something nice for yourself, like getting a massage, facial, manicure or whatever. Being nice to yourself will put you in a very different vibrational state.
Tackle the problem from a high vibrational state
Don’t even go near your problem until you well and truly feel better. Then, and only then, tentatively bring in thoughts about your job and try to shift your vibration. If you tackle the issue from a stable, higher vibrational state, you’ll have access to the frequencies of thoughts and solutions that you couldn’t see when you were in your funk. From this better feeling place, you will be able to shift your thoughts and beliefs. You will be able to see a much more positive point of view, and believe that it’s actually possible. You can’t make this shift when you’re in a low vibration, but you can when you’re tackling it from good feeling place.
It’s all about perspective
You can’t lower your vibration and then expect to be able to wrestle that frequency to a higher place. That’s not how it works. But you can use a different subject, one that already puts you into a higher vibrational state and then reach down and pull that lower frequency up. It’s like standing on the balcony of the first floor of a building and trying to throw a heavy box up to the tenth floor. Wouldn’t it be much easier to let go of the box, go to the tenth floor and then pull the box up from the first floor using a rope? In other words, you can’t use a subject that makes you feel bad and feel better while focusing on that subject. But you can use completely unrelated thoughts to make yourself feel better and then bring those problem thoughts up to your level.
The goal is to feel better
Being in a funk sucks. And even thought we know that it’s inevitable and doesn’t represent any kind of failure on our part when we’re feeling good, while in the funk, we just feel like crap. The trick is to stop trying to feel better about the issue that depressed us in the first place and just go and do something else. Once we feel better, the solutions to the original problem will become evident. So, the next time you find yourself sinking into that pit, just remember that your goal isn’t to fix all your issues, or to be perfect. Your only goal is to feel better. Period. So just go do that any way you can, and your problems will take on a whole different and much, much smaller dimension.