It’s 3 a.m. on a weekend night. You should be in bed, sleeping, but there you are, sitting on the couch, slurping a pint of ice cream (at least it’s the really good kind; you’re not a philistine), and feeling sorry for yourself. And then it happens. You see a commercial for a miracle pill that promises to make you lose weight while you sleep. No exercise required. No dieting necessary. You don’t have to change a thing, except take this little pill, and all your troubles will go away. And even though your logical mind has crossed its arms and is looking at you with shocked disdain, you pick up the phone, whip out your credit card and order a 3 month supply. What the hell is wrong with you?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been suckered into some kind of false promise or another. Perhaps it was a piece of exercise equipment that we just KNEW we’d use. Um, sort of. Or, we put all our hopes on some diet that couldn’t possibly work from a nutritional perspective; except we’d make it work, damn it. We’ve all had moments when we throw rational thinking out the window and put our faith in some snake oil, even when we know it’s not going to work. Why? Are the sales techniques so spectacular that they cause us to briefly lose our minds? If that’s the case, shouldn’t they be illegal or something?
If we look at this from a law of attraction perspective, however, it actually begins to make sense. And then we can do something about it.
What makes us susceptible to getting scammed
We never get taken for a ride on a subject, unless it involves something we desperately want, that we don’t think we can have. Extra weight is one of the big ones, but so is making money, preventing baldness or re-growing hair (remember the spray on hair? That was a million dollar product), and enhancing the size of your Oscar Meyer W…ell you get the idea.
When we want something desperately, we have a strong desire for it, so the intensity of our vibration on the subject is going to be very high. We’re emanating a massive vibration of “I’ll never be thin. I’ll always be fat and ugly!!!” Now, Who We Really Are knows that this thought is not true, and continues to hold on to the vibration of “I’m beautiful and I can weigh anything I want.”
The discord between these two thoughts causes us to feel horrible, and the fact that the frequency we’re holding on to is vibrating with such great intensity, means that we feel intensely horrible.
So then, this commercial comes on, or we see an ad about a product that promises to make it all better. They show us before and after pictures, and use “doctors” to tell us it, like, totally works, dude. And then we get this glimmer. Just for a second, we access this thought:
“Maybe I can be thin and beautiful.”
And we begin to imagine ourselves losing the weight, effortlessly and easily. We can see ourselves wearing those skinny jeans that have been taunting us for years from back of the closet. There we are, falling in love with the perfect man, whom we go jogging with (we’ve never jogged before, but once we’re skinny, we’ll totally start).We suddenly have a convertible sports car, and a gorgeous house. And we bake cupcakes for the kids, but thanks to the miracle pills, we’ll never gain weight. What a beautiful vision!
And it is. That’s why it’s so enticing. That thought – “Maybe I can reach my goal; maybe I can be happy”, feels good. And in comparison to how we have been feeling, it’s like a huge breath of relief. It feels like we’ve been pulling a freight train with a bungee cord and we’ve suddenly let go. And when that kind of relief floods in, we’ll do pretty much anything to hold onto it – even suspend all logic and reason and buy a completely useless and potentially harmful product.
What we’re really chasing
We haven’t actually lost our minds. We’re not really convinced that this miracle pill will do what it promised, but we don’t care. Because what we’re really chasing is that feeling we got a brief glimpse of. We don’t want to feel the discord of wanting something desperately and not thinking we’ll ever get it anymore. We just want that pain to stop. And anything that allows us to access those thoughts will do.
Hijacking our reality creating skills
What’s ironic is that we’re making use of one of our most basic creative tools – the ability to connect with the energy of things that we can’t yet see in our physical reality. We have the ability to fantasize, so see things as we want them to be instead of how they are. Daydreaming, visualizing and aligning with the frequencies of that which we want to manifest is a crucial skill in changing our physical reality.
If you we keep focusing on what is, we keep creating what is. But if we can focus on what we want, without offering conflicting frequencies, we can create what we want. How do we know if we’re offering conflicting frequencies? We can tell by the way we feel. If a thought closely matches what we really want, what our inner being is holding onto for us, we feel great. The further away it is from what we want, the worse it feels.
So, thinking a thought that makes us feel good, aligns us with what we want and allows it to come into our physical reality.
When we catch a glimpse of that relief, the thought that maybe, just maybe it is possible for us to reach our goals, we’re briefly connecting with the frequency of what we really want, even though our physical reality may be nowhere near that goal. This would be great, if only we could hold onto that frequency. The problem is, when we’re filled with desperation, we generally can’t.
Once the euphoria wears off
We don’t really believe that the miracle pill will melt off the pounds as we sleep. And as soon as we begin to focus on these thoughts, the thoughts of how we’re actually going to accomplish this effortless weight loss, the euphoria wears off. And then, the embarrassment sets in.
How could we have been so stupid? We feel worse than ever. Of course we do. Not only did we briefly feel the amazing frequency of what we really want, causing the original painful frequency we were holding to seem even worse in comparison, but now we’ve added horrible feeling thoughts about our own gullibility and stupidity. Nice.
Deliberately feel better
But none of this is necessary. Once we understand what actually happened, that all we really wanted was to feel better, and if we get the fact that we can always choose how we feel, we never have to fall prey to scams again.
The fact is that all we really want is to feel better. We just think that we have to lose weight or grow back our hair or get bigger boobs in order to do it. But that’s not the case at all. We can feel better right now.
Just as the possibilities of the miracle pill gave us a brief glimpse of a better feeling thought, we can access those kinds of thoughts anytime. And we don’t have to use ridiculous scams as an excuse to do it. All we really need to do is to deliberately focus on thoughts that feel better.
The paradox is that the closer we get to consistently matching the frequency of our thin selves (by thinking thoughts that makes us feel awesome), the more we begin to actually match that vision of ourselves. We begin to lose weight painlessly. A man may not re-grow his hair, but he might well discover a new haircut that makes him feel great (bald is the new sexy, after all). And while he may not necessarily be able to add a couple of inches to his trouser snake, he could easily attract a lover who makes him feel like an anaconda (yes, I went there). Because once we’ve achieved the feeling that we wanted all along, the Universe will bend over backwards to keep giving us reasons to feel that way.
Why Thankyou Melody,
Had an interesting start to today. Had some loneliness thoughts then heard news my anorexic friend was close to death. After feeling a little sad I wasn’t that worried. We’ve always been mirrors to each other and I know she doesn’t really want to be dead- she just wants the part of her that’s in pain to be dead. If she’s anything like me she’s going to be fine. And she was. 🙂
I know that sounds callous but I’ve been through it before with her and found not to panic or jump to conclusions and get myself all upset.
Doesn’t sound callous at all. It was great that you could hang on to the vision of Who She Really Is (who is always ok), even if no one else was. You were truly helpful to her. It’s ok if others don’t understand. You don’t have to explain it to them. 🙂
Cool. This is probrably the same reason people fall for spells, “get your ex back” e-books, pyramid schemes to get rich quick etc it’s all desperation. And not me. I’ve never been scammed. Too smart. 😉 lol I’m not going to mention it here! But we’ve all had something that tugged on our heartstrings and sucked us in. You know it’s stupid.
“It was pretty amazing to see Yoga, a modality designed to bring you closer to your body, to bring you into energetic alignment, being turned into something painful and torturous.” This made me laugh until tears came. haha I can just imagine what that tape as like. Military yoga.
You got it right about anorexia. That’s exactly what happens. It creates a power struggle and a protest environment. It’s also irrelevant if the bones pop out. If they were healthy and happy that’s the point. But the medical system focuses on their weight as “progress”
Most of them just stack on the pounds to get released from hospital.
There’s so many close to home and meaningful topics all over your blog! I’d call you a modern day philosopher and the internet is the new forum.
Your own journey and weight loss is very impressive. It is fascinating how similar reasons or events will manifest differently in different people. How resistance will take different forms.
It’s good to have enlightened people like you that can see those core similarities. I can personally see myself in all different forms. The biggest and smallest of society are not as different as they might think.
Just as you pointed out the strange relation between victim and abuser. They seem to be on opposite end of the scale but really they are so similar it’s not funny.
Actually Alice, I think you’re being pretty philosophical yourself today. 🙂
There’s a television show called “the biggest loser’ It can be pretty gross as you see morbidly obese people exercise, swear, cry, get angry and it’s all captured on film. They are mostly there to win the cash prize at the end. It’s pretty explotive.
I’m pretty sure most of them all put the weight back on, after the annoying fitness trainers yell and beat them into weight loss and televison drama.
Because unless they got to the reason why they gained weight. (Some do and start crying about how a relative died or some trauma that they ate for comfort) they didn’t really get anywhere mentally.
For some reason nearly all my female friends are anorexic. It’s not like I go out and look for these people on purpose or have some strange fetish. Alot of them look fairly normal but have secret eating issues and artfully choose clothes to cover it up. Now a couple have been forced into hospital (totally unfair- you don’t hear society grabbing fat people and forcing them into hospital-labelling them mentall ill) but as soon as they are let out they lose the weight again.
Society focuses on the exterior. Saying they are too skinny and focus on “fattening them up” Well that’s pretty useless and judgemental. (not to mention rude) The point is if they are happy or not.
What needs to be done is look at why they had a weight problem in the first place (obese or anorexic doesn’t matter how it manifested) and the emotional reasons behind it.
I think I’m a vibrational match for anorexic people because I have similar traumas but it just didn’t manifest as starving myself. In fact I loove food.
This is a complex isssue and teaches us to look at the cause rather than the symptom. Buys weight loss fads is just a symptom of a cause.
I’ve never seen the show, but in doing research for my book, I watched a Yoga tape from these guys. It was pretty amazing to see Yoga, a modality designed to bring you closer to your body, to bring you into energetic alignment, being turned into something painful and torturous. But it plays right into the old “No pain, no gain” and “More pain, more gain” mentality.
I couldn’t agree more – when we look at the root cause of anorexia or overeating, it has nothing to do with food. Anorexia is usually about control. The person feels like they don’t have any. It’s a profound sense of powerlessness and unworthiness. And simply locking someone up and fattening them up or forcing them to slim down won’t solve that issue. In fact, if it makes them feel more powerless, it will actually just reinforce the root cause. But those who love the afflicted don’t know that and they just want to help. So they act out of desperation. They don’t know what else to do.
We have such a twisted view of food in this world. It’s such a wonderful, life giving, sensual, delicious, pleasurable thing, and we’ve wrapped it in guilt and scorn. There are many people who are of “normal” weight who feel the same way. I’ve met very few people in my life who had a truly healthy relationship with food. I’ve come a long way myself, but I’m still finding pockets of resistance here and there.
I’ll be doing another post on food and weight loss soon, so will explore this topic further then. 🙂
You just helped me understand why I go through these cycles “I’m gonna do it this time…I will finally lose the weight” to “F#$* it, I tired of trying so hard” and then I stop, get depressed and eat like hell just to start over again. It is definitely a euphoric feeling when I start a new program, diet, “life style change”, cleanse, etc. And then it wears off and I’m back to my old eating habits. I just need to focus on the feeling of the result and not so much the actual “rules” of the particular eating plan or workout routine or the particular snake oil of the day.
I guess Patience really is a virtue…uh!
One thing that comes to mind when I read your comment is this: you’re trying to make too big of a jump in one go. Take smaller steps, and feel your way through it. Just focus on how you feel every day, and pay attention to those things that trip you up. Once you find and eliminate your triggers, the stuff that makes you want to eat, you’ll have a much easier time changing your diet.
It is my belief that we have become a society of people who want it “right now!” Too many people try to use the LOA to get their desire but they don’t persist, when they don’t start seeing results almost immediately they give up.
Exactly! What they don’t realize is that the continuous checking to see if “it’s here yet” means they’re focusing on the fact that it’s not here yet, and that’s the vibration they’re offering. It does take a bit of time to change our habits of thought and gather enough energy to manifest our desires into the physical. We have to be diligent and a bit patient. One of the biggest obstacles we have to overcome is our microwave mentality – that everything has to happen instantaneously. Thanks for your great comment!
I love the content of your blog as this is what I’m interested in. 😉 Exactly it is all about raising our vibration whether losing weight, achieving wealth, etc… When we create harmony and peace with whatever we want and keep focusing “harmoniously” on what we desire, doubt and fear become less. I believe focus plays an important rule in manifesting what we want. Thanks for sharing Melody! This was great post
Thanks so much Dia! I’ve been checking out your blog, too and loving what I read. 🙂
Focus plays a huge part. That’s how we manipulate and line up with energy. Most of us are just lazy focusers (myself included!), but we can retrain ourselves to be better at it a little bit at a time.
I love this article, especially the part about deliberately choosing better-feeling thoughts, the thoughts that allow us to take actions that are in alignment with our values and goals (like going for a walk instead of finishing off that plate of cookies). Like Jermaine said, you can apply this principle to every aspect of your life, not just weight loss and I love that. Thanks again!
Thanks so much Stacey! It really does all start with our ability to choose better feeling thoughts. If we can do that consistently, everything else becomes easy. 🙂
Awesome words here…and I am working at feeling the words now…
I feel happy and soothed when I am chewing. Tossed green salad requires a great deal of chewing and since I want to feel happy and soothed….I am off to make my lunch for salad.
I still wish there was a easy button, but I still have to do the work…and feel the feeling
Thanks for these words…I believe I have healed my liver and kidneys…now I need to heal the size of the body…so I have some success to draw from. I still enjoy walking more than running…and I walk 3 -5 miles daily 🙂
Feeling happy and soothed while eating is definitely a fantastic technique. We have to make peace with our food, instead of seeing it as our enemy or something to feel guilty about.
I used to jog every day and realized that I never really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the idea of being able to run, but I never liked the actual activity. Now I walk, which I like some much more. I can explore different routes and really pay attention. And I can stop and smell the roses (or look at a pair of shoes, LOL) if I want to. Never did that while jogging.
I really enjoyed this post Melody.
I have to be honest. I haven’t been overweight a single day in my life. I have, however, had self image issues. It is a little bit of a stretch for me to pretend to know what it feels like to struggle with weight. However, I got the deeper message in this post… you won’t us to retrain our thinking.
From this moment forward I’m going to focus my thoughts on things that make me feel better! Thanks a million for this excellent post!
Thanks for stopping by! It’s really about any kind of desperation, I just picked weight because 1.) It’s something I know A LOT about and 2.) there are a ton of people out there who struggle with it. How lucky are you to never have had to deal with weight! 🙂 But as you said, everyone has their issues.
That’s really the only personal development advice you need: just always reach for the better feeling thought! 🙂