Today’s post is another edition of “Ask Melody”, where I answer your Law of Attraction questions. So bring it on! (You know…just don’t expect a short answer…) 🙂
Fizza asks: I want to move to another location with my family. My mother wants to move, too, but she is always focusing on “how we will manage and how we will pay the rent”. My father is thinking “I want to move but I can’t afford to buy a new house or pay its rent”. I told them how the Law of Attraction works but they are not getting it. So what’s the point of my using the Law of Attraction to get the new house in my ideal location and my parents using the Law of Attraction on the “lack of new house”. Whose vibration and intention will be manifested? What should I do if I really want to move there? I can’t move alone; I love my family.
Here’s my answer:
This is a question that perplexes many – “What if my partner/parent/child/etc. and I want opposite things? Whose manifestation will win?” And what do I have to do to make sure it’s ME? (Just kidding on that last part…)
The Universe knows what you REALLY want
First of all, you don’t REALLY want the new house. You only think that you do. The house has become the symbol for what you really want – what you think needs to happen in order for you to get what you really want. But there’s a deeper reason at play here.
Why do you want to move? I’m not asking you to justify why you want to move, which would make you list all the negative aspects that you’re trying to get away from. But rather, I’m asking you to focus on what you hope to gain from moving. What are you after? More space? A safer neighborhood? Closer proximity to school? Whatever those reasons are, keep asking “why” and digging deeper until you figure out what you REALLY want. The move, again, is just the HOW that you’ve happened to come up with.
While you are looking at the situation from a rather myopic perspective – you want to move, your parents don’t, so that’s the end of that – the Universe sees the big picture. It sees what you really want – to have more space, to feel safer, etc. And the Universe also sees what your parents REALLY want, which may be to feel financially secure, for example.
The Universe has a lot more solutions than you can imagine
Given what all of you truly want, the Universe has an entire smorgasbord of solutions at its disposal. There are countless ways in which it can orchestrate a scenario in which all of you get what you desire. A house in a safer neighborhood that your parents can easily afford is just one of many possibilities. A solution IS possible, you just can’t see it right now. No matter what all the parties involved TRULY desire, the Universe can find a way to make it happen. Emphasis on “TRULY”.
To sidestep this example for a moment, let’s say you’re married and your husband wants to go sailing in the Bahamas. But you want to go to skiing in Switzerland. There are reasons that both of you want to go where you want to go, an essence to your wish, so to speak, and the Universe in all of its magnificence, could deliver the essence of both those destinations to you. This is exactly how peanut butter cups were born, people.
Ok, back to the question.
No one can create in another’s reality
You can’t create in your parents’ reality, but they also can’t create in yours. At this moment, however, you are keeping yourself from getting what you want by focusing on what you think they don’t want. You think that if you get your wish, then your parents will be unhappy or you’ll have to leave them. And by focusing on those thoughts, which feel awful, you’re not allowing the Universe to deliver the perfect solution to you – one that includes all the aspects of what you desire, including being able to stay with your parents. The Universe will never ask you to settle for less than something perfect. You will, though. We pull that crap on ourselves all the time.
If you focus on what you really want and allow the Universe to do its job, it will find a way to fulfill that wish in a way that ticks all your boxes. Yes, the Universe is that good. But, you’re the one who has to allow it.
But what about your parents’ wishes?
Your parents are also creating their own reality. You cannot create something that they are not a match to – in other words, if they are not a match to a more expensive house, then that will not be part of the solution. If, however, they have a lot of fears around money, then perhaps they will manifest a financial situation that they are not happy with (the Universe will always prove you right.) It’s important that you understand that you have no control over what they manifest. All you can do is either receive what YOU want or not. Either way, your parents will continue to create their own reality with their own vibration. The only two options you have are: 1.) they create their reality with their vibration and you allow the Universe to bring you what you want (i.e. you’re happy and they feel however they feel) or 2.) they create their reality with their vibration and you stay focused on what they don’t want (i.e. you don’t get what you want, you’re unhappy and they still feel however they feel.) Those are your choices.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t help them, however. There is a way for you to assist them, in as much as they are ready to be assisted. This doesn’t entail explaining LOA to them. In fact, if you try and they’re not a vibrational match to that explanation, they’ll probably think that you’re a little bit crazy. Although, this may not be the worst strategy, because you being branded as the town nutter may actually get them to move…
If, however, you raise your own vibration, and then focus your energy on Who They Really Are – powerful creators, spirit in human form, pure love and eternal joy (instead of unhappy humans who don’t “get” the Law of Attraction), they can’t help but be affected by your energy. Your high vibration will help them to rise up and feel better. In layman’s terms, get happy and clear enough so that your happiness and clarity rub off on them. It’s important to note that you can’t force other people to raise their vibration. But if they’re ready to feel better, and many people are, your higher vibration can help to pull them up. But you must first be in a high vibrational place yourself.
Hopefully, at this point I’ve convinced you that:
- A solution IS possible, even if you can’t see it right now.
- Your parents can’t affect your reality, but you can keep yourself from receiving what you want by worrying about their fears.
- Your parents are in charge of their own realities. Period.
- The only way to assist your parents is to raise your own vibration enough so that they’ll be affected by your amazing energy.
- Peanut butter cups are awesome.
Now, how do you actually go about getting what you want?
Focus on what you actually want
First, raise your vibration. This will help you to not only feel better, but will make the next step a lot easier. Meditate, read a funny book (or a semi-funny blog?), dance to your favorite song, do anything that makes you feel good for a significant amount of time (I’d say a few hours or even days) until you feel really good.
Second, stop focusing on the idea of moving. It’s not what you really want (the essence of what you want) and my guess is that it doesn’t feel all that good at the moment. You’ve tied all kinds of resistance to it (you don’t want to leave your parents or make them unhappy, etc.). Dig down deep and identify what you truly want and focus on that. And again, don’t worry about the HOW, just the WHY.
Third, pay attention to how you feel. Remember that your emotions are your vibrational indicator: the better you feel, the closer you are to receiving what you want.
Fourth, when thoughts come up that don’t feel good, shift your perspective on them. I’ve done my best to give you a lot of ammunition to soothe your fears in this post.
Fifth, trust that as long as you feel good, what you want is on its way. Just continue to feel good.
I’ve hit on a lot of points in this article. If you’d like to dig a little deeper into any of them, here are some additional resources:
Raising your vibration:
Helping others:
- Why Having Empathy is the Last Way to Help Someone
- How Can We Keep Our Family’s Vibration From Affecting Us? (Contains information on how family members affect each other’s vibrations in bad AND good ways).
How we co-create with others:
- How We Co-Create Our Reality (this article gives a technical explanation of how co-creation works. Also, there are stick figures).
- If We All Create Our Reality, How Do Competitions Work?
Don’t forget to help a blogger out by sharing this on FaceTwitSumblebook or whatever.
thank you Melody for the detailed analysis, that’s a point that confuses most people i guess
now you made it clear
thank you:)
Thanks for stopping by Farouk. You’re right, this one point does cause a ton of confusion. We’ve grown up in such an adversarial world, it’s often hard for people to even imagine that a win-win scenario is possible.
Hugs!
Melody
[…] Melody Fletcher: I stumbled on Melody’s’ blog not too long ago and she’s truly amazing. Her comments on my blog are always appreciated and I’m drawn to a lot of what she writes despite being a law of attraction skeptic (sorry Melody laugh!!). She puts a lot of work and effort in her articles and focuses on real issues. From the bit I know Melody is certainly full of life. […]
What I have noticed in my own life is that the more I focus on a certain outcome the universe will start to distance me from anyone who is not in alignment with that outcome. Sounds like she just needs to convince her parents to focus on the outcome and not worry about how it will happen. They all want to move but that worry of money is what will keep it from ever happening. Her fear of not wanting to leave her family will also keep her from moving to her ideal location since her parents have the fear of money.
The way I see it is she needs to manifest this ideal location on her own, who knows maybe the universe will see to it that money isn’t an issue and her parents can tag along. Or she has to show them to focus on the end result and all three of them can be like Ghost Busters and combine the power of the proton pack to manifest their desires. Just tell them not to cross the streams!!
Hi Todd,
Actually, she doesn’t need to convince her parents of anything. The idea that she does need to do that will keep her from manifesting what she wants (as they push against the idea, she’ll add worrying about their resistance to hers…)
While it is true that as you move toward your creations, people who are not aligned with that will gravitate right out of your existence, this doesn’t happen as readily with family. We usually have a special bond with family that keeps us connected, even as we change. They are often our most powerful catalysts for that change, in fact. If Kash can keep her vibration up, she could well influence her parents into a much higher frequency.
The Universe does have the ability to provide a solution that will keep them all together. Is it possible that ultimately Fizza will see that the best feeling solution would be for her to go off on her own? Sure. There are tons of possibilities that could occur to her once she raises her vibration…
The whole point, though, was to show that you do not have to get everyone involved on board with you in order to get what you want. Two people can want opposite things (generally seemingly opposite) and they are still only responsible for their own creations, their own reality. Someone else cannot mess up your manifestation by crossing your stream, unless you allow them to by worrying about their ability to do so. What other people are thinking, doing or believing is completely irrelevant to your process. 🙂
Hugs,
Melody
It becomes clear what “we” want, at the moment “we” have a common goal. When searching for an apartment with my girl friends, we have been through this process. We shared a common wish “living together in an apartment’ and put in a LOA list. In the matter of months we have found the obstacles which stopped us finding the right place, and finally found a place which matched both our vibrations. The act of dealing with our opposite goals which appeared every time we visited an apartment to become more clear – every new visit brought us new insights, brought us finally what we both loved.
Thanks for sharing!
Oh Marc, that’s beautiful. Nothing is more delicious than when you consciously create and receive something together. That’s the ultimate goal, of course. Thanks for sharing this!!!
Hugs,
Melody
Hi Melody,
This is the last time I’m going to say “great article” in the comments section because I think it’s a given from hereon. 🙂 Quick question though…
If the Universe knows what we want, and I believe it does, is it safe to allow It to choose an outcome for us? For instance, if we’re not really sure of what we really want, is it safe to allow things to “just be” as the Universe chooses? Say someone’s running after a girl / job / house but those things keep evading him to the point where it’s obvious there’s some block in between. Is it safe to assume that one or all of those things may in fact cause him more misery, and that’s why the Universe doesn’t bring them to him? Or does the Universe deliver everything we want, even though it may cause a backlash later on? In that case, how do we know our choices won’t jeopardize our happiness?
Thanks, Melody. Take care!
Hey Derrek,
The Universe doesn’t choose anything for you. You do all the choosing. The Universe just has a way better memory than you do. Every time you looked at something you didn’t want, the Universe knew better what you did want. Every detail that you didn’t like had an opposite and that’s what the Universe recorded. So, over time, you’ve created what you truly want in all it’s glory. When you get out of the way, you’re simply allowing the Universe to deliver what you’ve already created to you.
When you’re not getting what you want, it could be because you TRULY want something even better, or because you have resistance to what you want and you’re not allowing the Universe to bring it to you. Remember that the Universe brings you what you’re a match to, whether you like it or not. Everything in your reality is a delivery. In every case, the solution is to feel good. Not only will that remove the resistance, so that you can receive the good stuff, but it’s your indicator that you’re allowing what you actually truly want to be delivered.
It’s like you have a mail order catalog, and you can order whatever you want. You just have to give the delivery company the code for the product. So you keep giving them the code for cheap, plastic crap and then you wonder why your house is filled with cheap plastic crap. You then think “well, the delivery service must somehow be doing this for my own good, because the expensive stuff wouldn’t be good for me.” No! Just give them the code to what you want. It’s like that.
The Universe doesn’t judge your vibration, and it doesn’t do anything “for your own good.” The Universe is not your mother. It’s more like a computer. Input = output. Order = delivery. Ask a question = get another metaphor. See? It works on so many levels.
Hugs,
Melody
This makes perfect sense. I have to remember this when I focus on my spouse’s negative comments about what he doesn’t want, like, etc. I have to go to my happy place and remember the essence of what I really want and TRUST that all will work together according my beliefs and LOA.
Thanks Melody
Hiya Kim,
Exactly. Just remember to feel good in the process, and the Universe can’t help but bring you what you want. Your whiny husband can’t mess that up unless you allow him to. 🙂
Hugs,
Melody
Hi Melody,
I like your answer. This is like a goal. Visualize the end result and the God will fell in the blanks. Sometimes there are small steps to be taken to get the end results.
Thank you for sharing this questions. I do visualize the end result that I want and as I go the blanks do get felled in.
Blessing to you,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
Absolutely. Always go for the end result, or as Steven Covey says “Always begin with the end in mind.” It works on multiple levels. 🙂
We’re such thinkers, we always try to figure out the how. Often, however, we have no access to the how, because we’re so focused on the vibration of the problem that we can’t see the vibration of the solution.
Hugs,
Melody
What would you do if you had a million dollars? Two chicks at once.
The way I read this article is that according to your version of LOA, one should not hold to a particular outcome as THE outcome but rather hold loosely to the desired end in a broad way–safety, security, two chicks at once, and so on. This is what I’d call non-attachment while holding focus.
Of course, if the universe provides you two transexuals, that’s probably going to rain on your parade, unless secretly that’s what you’ve always wanted.
You have a million dollars and you immediately think of two chicks at once? What the heck is wrong with you? If I had a million dollars I’d go all out and help an animal shelter, be there for my loved ones, and travel the world. And have 7 chicks at once. In a pool. In every state. In every country. That’s to prove I’m not racist. You and your low standards. Pffft.
“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” ~ Mr. Eames, Inception (2010)
You’ve got it Joe Bill!
Often, it’s better to think generally than specifically. We can get so caught up in the details, that we actually block what we want from coming to us.
Those trannies in your life are there because you put them there, Joe Bill. Every time. Whether they are wanted or unwanted, they had to be a vibrational match to you. It’s not the Universe’s fault that you’re a tranny magnet. *whispers*: It’s yours.
😉
Melody,
I’m loving your blog more and more. I know all of these things, but you have such a wonderful way of providing a neat little insight or perspective that really helps make the LOA real.
I agree with your advice to the writer. I saw this play out in my own experience. My better half has a career goal of being a VP. I wanted a new, fulfilling and flexible work environment. Neither of us knew how this would happen, but we kept trusting that it would unfold.
Last summer, within 2 weeks, a new job offer came through with a Fortune 100 company. The offer was BH (better half)’s and my salary combined. When we got settled in the new location and job, within 6 months, nearly everyone in the BH’s department moved on except for the Director. BH was responsible for multi-million dollar budgets and nearly a billion in revenue. (Thanks, Universe, for the set-up for a VP promotion!)
We still don’t know how it will all play out, but we know now that our goal of moving to San Diego and settling there is right around the corner! Can’t wait!
Hi Steve!
Interestingly enough, I’m having more and more fun. See how the Universe brought us both what we wanted? Ha!
Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and for adding your own story here. Best of luck to you and your BH. Energetically, you’re already in San Diego. And from what I hear, you’re have a fabulous time. 😉
Hugs,
Melody
Reading your blog I think raises a lot people’s vibrations Melody – it is knowledge-packed! And hilarious – where did you come up with today’s photo:)?
Fizza has one thing down – that is knowing what you want. Many people don’t quite even know that so that’s a huge first step. Melody, have you written about how to figure out what you want? Is that most people’s first problem – not really knowing what they want?
Thanks for all the follow up suggested reading articles on your blog to keep me at your blog for another 30 minutes. lol:)
Hi Vishnu,
Thank you so much for your kind words! Believe it or not, I follow my own advice (mostly): I get into a high vibration before even attempting humor. I find that once I’ve written the blog post, the image idea sort of shows up. Google helps. A lot. 🙂
I hear you and I think it’s an excellent idea. I’ve added it to the list and will write something up as soon as I’m inspired to.
Hugs,
Melody
thanks a lot melody 😀
hugs & love
Hi Fizza,
You’re so welcome. Thanks for being patient. 🙂
Hugs,
Melody
Hi Melody,
Your sense of humor is a real day brightener. Another excellent post. One the things of I believe ( and I think it’s consistent with LOA principles) is that creativity is a learned skill and anyone can enhance their creativity. That being said it does seem that when one is happy that good solutions flow more easily to you. So focusing on being happy (ie getting what you really want) is really primary in living life properly.
Riley
Hi Riley,
You’re right on both counts: When you raise your vibration, you not only feel better, you have access to more clarity and more creativity. That’s why you get your best ideas when you’re walking the dog or doing the dishes. You’ve let your mind wander, released resistance, raised your vibration and BAM, locked on to a higher frequency where the answers to your problems lie.
The easiest way to get what we want is to get happy first and make everything esle irrelevant. Then, all that “irrelevant” stuff shows up. 🙂
Hugs,
Melody
Hi Melody,
Excellent advice you gave here. I suggest she uses creative visualization to help her out in this process. If she visualizes her parents being happy, agreeing to moving to a bigger house, etc…usually they get affected by this positive energy. The key is consistent visualization and focusing and really believing and having faith. In other words if she focuses on what she really want and believe God will bring her the best, then this is what she really gets. I have been using this process in my life and it has been working out wonderfully. 😉 Thanks for sharing Melody
Hi Dia,
Absolutely correct. That leap of faith is really important, especially in the beginning. Once you have some energy going, it gets a lot easier.
Hugs,
Melody
Yeah Melody, I have also had the experience of trying to create with someone else and it can be a real pain in the ass.
I would say that the resistance being caused is the the thing that really get’s under my skin. I found that getting quiet and allowing my vibrations to raise by focusing on whatever feels good really helps.
I also like the idea of reminding the other co-creators who they are,(powerful creators) this helps them to raise their own vibration as well.
Hi Justin,
Of course, the ideal is to be in a relationship with someone who also gets this stuff and then you never hold each other responsible for how you feel or what you create… 🙂
But it’s not necessary for the other person to get it, in order for us to create what we want. We just can’t get sucked into their story…
Thanks for adding your insight!
Hugs,
Melody