As regular readers of this blog will know, I have a very low tolerance for BS. The Law of Attraction is one of those subjects that has a ton of false myths and fairytales attached to it, mostly born out of antiquated, limiting beliefs which our society is still subject to. And so, I have appointed myself the official Bullshit Fairy and, wielding my mighty shovel (and a dainty wand, which is mostly for show), I roam the land, seeking out and clearing away the crapola. It’s not a glamorous job, but someone’s got to do it.

Today, I’d like to dissect, debunk and clear away the pervasive and completely false belief that we have to be careful what we wish for, in all its forms. This little morsel was often instilled in us in fairytales when we were young and continues to be alive and well within our adult psyches. It’s also a belief that has been used to attach a great deal of fear to the Law of Attraction. Yes, you can create your own reality, but be careful what you wish for, or it’ll all go horribly wrong and you’ll ruin your life! The Bullshit fairy calls Bullshit.

The Evil Genie in the Bottle

We’ve all heard this story in a myriad of ways: a young boy finds a genie in a bottle and is offered three wishes. The boy makes a wish, only to find that the genie has taken his words super literally or twisted the wish in some way. So yes, he now has a million dollars, but only because his parents were killed in a plane crash and the insurance paid out. Or yes, the girl he likes does do everything he says, but the catch is that she’s a zombie, who ONLY does what he says. So, she no longer feeds herself without being told to lift the fork and chew, and sits on the couch all day waiting for her next command. The guy who wanted to be able to understand women gets turned into a woman. The woman who wished to be stranded on a desert island with a harem of gorgeous men finds out they’re all gay (but who hasn’t been there…?). There are several morals that we can glean (and which have been presented to us over and over) from this type of fable:

  • It’s better not to want or wish for anything, because if you get it, you’ll be worse off than you were before. Variation: by giving the person a twisted version of what they asked for, the genie actually taught them this valuable lesson.
  • Everything comes at a price. A horrible, horrible price. So, you can get what you want, but you’re going to have to suffer for it. Variation: Suffering is not only necessary to get what you want, but virtuous, because it leads to you getting what you want. It’s the price you have to pay.
  • If you want for selfish or inappropriate things (as judged by whoever is making the rules), you will be punished for it. Variation: The punishment is for your own good, to teach you not to be selfish. This moral will also appear in stories where the genie is replaced by the devil, further underscoring the idea that you should know better and that in the end, you totally deserved your crappy fate.
  • Wanting for selfish things will have negative repercussions for those you love (never mind you, we’re going after your family now). Variation: a good fairy comes along and shows you how if you got what you wanted, it would be terrible for your loved ones. Sometimes this strategy is used to change people’s negativity, like in A Christmas Carol, but it has been used to guilt people into giving up on their own wishes.

While, on the surface, this belief seems pretty harmless (who really cares about a genie in a bottle?), it’s actually at the root of a rather pervasive fear that keeps people from living the lives they truly want. It’s the fear that you can’t allow yourself to dream, to think about what you really want, to hope that you might actually get it or, God forbid, believe that it’s actually possible, because doing so is akin to making a deal with the devil. Even if you get what you wished for, it will be a huge disappointment or come at a horrible price.

This belief manifests itself in a whole array of minor and major ways:

  • You spill something on your new outfit and exclaim, “See? I knew I shouldn’t have bought myself something nice!”
  • There’s a job you want to apply for, but it would mean a promotion. You really want it but every time you think about it you have this sense of dread. What if you actually get the promotion and you hate it? It IS more responsibility. Yeah, you’ll probably hate it. Variation: Better to stick with the devil you know. What’s out there could be worse.
  • You see a brand new Mercedes with bird poop on it and you think (even just for a second) “Serves the bastard right for driving such a flashy car.”
  • You watch a Celebrity being carted off to jail and it fills you with just a little bit of joy or validation. All that whoring around and flashing of bling bling. It’s no wonder that they ended up in jail. Living like that will always bite you in the ass, eventually.
  • You’re in a relationship with a person who makes you deeply unhappy, but you believe that the compromise is necessary. You have to be willing to put up with behavior that really bothers you in order to experience love. That’s just the price you have to pay.
  • You say things like “You can’t have your cake and eat it too” (which implies that you can’t have what you want and enjoy it, as well.)
  • You work like a demon to make good money, but never take the time to actually live your life and enjoy the fruits of your labor.  This does not seem abnormal to you.
  • You feel like you need to sacrifice your deepest desires for the wellbeing of your family.
  • You feel guilty every time you find yourself wanting something, especially if it’s just for yourself.
  • You don’t think that people should use the word “want”, because it’s bad to want things and it leads to negative outcomes.

No one is trying to punish you

This entire belief is one based on fear: Do not allow yourself to dream, to want for anything, to look outside your boundaries or to dare to go for the gold. If you do, God/Spirit/the Universe will swoop in and punish you. Your desire will go horribly, horribly wrong. So, we either don’t allow ourselves to dream big in the first place, or when we do and things go wrong, we are validated in our belief and exclaim “See? I just knew it was all gonna go tits up!” This is a belief that may not have been created by, but was certainly perpetuated by those who wished to keep the proletariat from realizing their own power, from reaching beyond their station and maybe gaining some bling bling of their own. I’m not here to blame the church or the monarchy or the rich elite. I’m not here to blame anyone, actually, but simply to point out that this is an antiquated belief that no longer serves us.

There is no force out there somewhere, waiting to swoop in and punish you for having the gall to have desires. God does not want you to think small. Neither does the Universe. We have imaginations so that we can dream big. There’s nothing wrong with that and the only one that EVER punishes you for following those dreams is, well, you.

Your beliefs manifest your reality

If you believe that you’re not allowed to have nice things, then you will continuously manifest bird poop on your new car and coffee stains on your nice suit. In other words, if you feel like you’re being punished for wanting something, or if every one of your attempts to go after something you truly wanted has ended in disaster, it’s only because the Universe was proving you right. Every time. Because that’s what the Law of Attraction does. It brings you more and more stuff that exactly matches what you already believe – proving you right, over and over again. So, you believe that you can’t want or have nice things, the bird poops on your car, proving to you that you can’t have nice things, which reinforces your belief, which manifests MORE evidence that you shouldn’t want nice things, and so on and so on and so on.

But as long as you keep waiting for evidence of a different belief so that you can change your belief, you’re going to stay stuck exactly where you are. You have to be willing to change your belief so that the evidence of that new thought process can show up.

Why things sometimes go tits up

I read an LOA article the other day, where the author described how she had tried to manifest a new, well working car, but had manifested a piece of crap instead. She blamed it on the fact that she worded her request to the Universe incorrectly. She was convinced that if she’d used different wording, she would’ve manifested a better car. Was she right? Well, yes and no.

The actual words we use, in and of themselves, don’t really matter. What does matter, is the vibration behind them. Essentially, it comes down to what the word means to you and, more importantly, how it feels to you. Furthermore, you are not creating your reality or letting the Universe know what you want when you send off your request. The Universe knows what you want. Your vibration is full of information about what you want and don’t want. You don’t have to send off anything. What you do have to do, and in fact the only thing you have to do, or even CAN do, is to line up with what you want. And so, when you formulate a request to the Universe, the words you naturally choose to use (and how they feel to you) are a clue as to what’s going on in your vibration.

Let me give you an example:

So, this woman wanted to manifest a car. She had included the phrase “I’d be willing to put in some work on the vehicle, if that’s what it takes.” She blamed that sentence for the fact that she received a total lemon. But that sentence didn’t manifest a lemon, it simply reflected her vibration, which is what brought the lemon to her. Simply changing her words without changing her energy would’ve resulted in the exact same manifestation.

She could have, however, seen the fact that she chose to use those words as an indication that she had a limiting belief – namely, one that stated that she needed to be willing to put in some work, or in other words, that the trade off for a nice car would be that it wouldn’t run all that well. It was this belief that manifested a lemon, instead of lining her up with a well working car. She simply didn’t allow for the possibility of a nice AND well working car. She got to have the freaking cake but she kept herself from eating it, too.

If this woman were to shift that belief, then those words, “I’d be willing to put in some work on the vehicle, if that’s what it takes”, wouldn’t ring true to her anymore. They’d feel off and she wouldn’t be at all tempted to include them anymore. Hearing them would invoke a reaction of “Why the hell would I want to put in some work? I want a car that runs well and needs no work at all.” Do you see how this is different from simply leaving those words out in order to try and change the manifestation? You can leave them out all you want, if the meaning they conveyed is still stuck in your vibration, your manifestation won’t change as a result. You have to change your vibration so that these words (and what they mean to you) no longer feel true. Then, your manifestation will change.

Wish like you’ve never wished before

So, go on and become a wishing machine. Allow yourself to have your desires, to dream big, to hope that what you want could actually come to you. But pay attention to how you feel when you do. If you feel some negative emotion, don’t squash it. It is not an indication that someone up there doesn’t like the fact that you’re desiring something. It’s an indication that you have a belief that states that for whatever reason, you don’t believe that you can have that thing. And the reason that it feels bad is because that belief is wrong. You can have whatever you want, even if it’s something “selfish” like a gold watch or a shiny, new car. Best of all, you can have what you REALLY want, like to feel safe, prosperous, passionate, excited, and bouncing-off-the-walls happy. You can allow yourself to desire those feelings, to believe in them, and to go for them, without being punished for it.

And the next time a bird poops on your car, see it as a sign that the Universe is listening to your every request. The entire, vast, infinitely powerful Universe went out of its way to find a bird who’d be willing to cooperate with your vibration and show you what’s going on inside you by pooping, with expert precision, I might add, on the hood of your shiny new car. It did not judge your vibration to be unimportant, it did not judge it to be right or wrong. It simply mirrored it back to you. This energy that is at the heart of everything that is, ever was and ever will be, found you important enough to align circumstances to mirror even the most measly of vibrations back to you so that you would have a chance to change your energy. That realization should make you jump up off your ass and go on a manifesting frenzy. What are you going to wish for first? What will you pay attention to? How can you get to a better feeling place, so that you can let more wanted stuff in (and less of the not-wanted stuff)? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD TODAY? YAAAAAAAAAAY!

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  • This is great.

    One lesson I learnt at the end of last year was very powerful:

    “Happiness is not something to be earned”

    I spent most of my life believing that as someone told me that at a very young age when I was trying to overcome depression.
    They told me the “solution in a box” that I wanted wasn’t right. I couldn’t just expect to be healed.
    There was a reason “God/the world” made me feel so unhappy and you can’t just take a pill or whatever and feel good.

    One thing I was recommended to do was to pray to God for forgiveness and also make amends with people.
    The non religious suggested I was depressed out of selfishness and should do social work to be healed.

    I had to EARN IT!!!!

    So for me, a perfectionist, my version of earning will never be good enough. I just had to dump that idea! If I didn’t dump it, I’d never be happy. Especially with my health problems… I haven’t even been earning a salary, so I’d always be below par.

    I met a psychiatrist as part of a clinical trial and he was lovely. I told him the “earning” thing and his eyes bugged out of his head.
    It was so nice to have someone in a respected position tell me I didn’t have to earn anything.

    Happiness is a right belonging to everyone.


    Well from knowing me and my comments you can see I’m quite screwy, but that’s one of the roots only recently overcome!
    I guess I make more sense now huh?? Yes reading these things make me realize I was told alot of terrible sad things/programming.


    • True dat Alice!!! 🙂

      You’re so right on. Happiness is our birthright, and we never have to earn it. We can keep ourselves from it, but we don’t have to prove that we deserve it or do anything for it. When you look at a little baby, do you thin it has to earn the right to smile? Or do you actually go out of your way to make it smile, just because it’s so cute when it does?

      That’s a big, insidious belief and it’s so great that you’ve released it. Bravo!!!

      Huge hugs!

  • If you feel some negative emotion, don’t squash it. It is not an indication that someone up there doesn’t like the fact that you’re desiring something. It’s an indication that you have a belief that states that for whatever reason, you don’t believe that you can have that thing.

    aye melody, i LOVE you !

  • You’ve always been very good with the belief – recognizing thingy, Melody. Just like taking a hike with the crocs and the dog sausages.

    I am not subject to these beliefs luckily. You know, I am finding that the best times to manifest for me is to just go into theta and feel.. at peace. You have these illusions that you HAVE to feel this and that in relation to your desire, when it is in fact, a feedback system. I feel that the calm of theta and just sojourning with Sel is perfect. Oh and… loafloafloafloaf. Why can’t I ever say something smart here? Must be because of your funny pics.

    Thoughts = Creates reality
    Emotions = Alignment to reality

    • Hey Sol,

      You’re so right. If you can get into that theta state (which is a high vibrational, meditative state) and create from there, you’ll have little resistance to deal with. 🙂

      You sound plenty smart, darlin’. Don’t you worry. If more people practiced the loafloafloaf mantra, we’d have far less stress in our society! 😉

      And I love the equation. I’m stealing it. You’ve been warned. Ha.


  • I must be very low vibrationally today….I am dreaming of a healthy body with good movement and no pain….an IT person who will help me get my professional listening services up and running and bringing in income and demonstrate to me how to do it…because I am not doing well on these manuals….so that brings me to my belief or 2 part belief that if all these obstacles show up, it is because one is supposed to be working at something else? or 2. maybe my tasks on this plain are completed and I need to let go and die. I am not meant to have a healthy body the right size? my vibrator is defunct? kaput?
    Maybe what I am dreaming of is going to come from the Make a Wish foundation?
    I am extremely fatigued today and heavy…I do not think I will be able to travel to San Francisco and if I am able to make it there…I will be ill or asleep the whole time ( better to be in your own bed and bathroom)

    hmmm very low ebb
    can’t get the interview to play either

    • My dear, lovely Patricia,

      When resistance comes up, it doesn’t mean that you’re done and need to die. Oh sweetie! It simply means that there’s a belief stuck in there that’s working against you, that’s you’re not yet aware of. You clearly have some of those concerning money, and so it makes sense that every time you try to take action to make money, they show up full force.
      Your vibrator is not kaput (that made me laugh, despite the pain evident in your comment). It’s working perfectly. And you are meant to be happy, there is no force or destiny keeping you from it. There is a lower frequency stuck in the mechanism, and when you find it and release it, your reality will change.

      Sleeping is a great thing – it allows you to drift back to a higher vibration so that you can start to find better feeling thoughts when you wake up. Stop thinking about the subjects that cause you pain. You can’t get there like that. Think about things that make you feel good – Zip, your miracle balls, your kids, your husband, your new oven!

      I’m sure that you’ll be able to play the interview when you are ready to hear it. 🙂

      Sending you lots of love and light and huge, ginormous, warm, fuzzy hugs,


  • dear mam I could not understand the clear meaning of the following lines.Will you please explain me?
    1-You can leave them out all you want, if the meaning they conveyed is still stuck in your vibration, your manifestation won’t change as a result.

    2- If you feel some negative emotion, don’t squash it. It is not an indication that someone up there doesn’t like the fact that you’re desiring something. It’s an indication that you have a belief that states that for whatever reason, you don’t believe that you can have that thing. And the reason that it feels bad is because that belief is wrong.

    • Hi Vikas,

      I’ll do my best to reword these sentences for you:

      1.) Simply changing the words you say does not change anything if you have not changed your thoughts and beliefs.

      2.) When you feel negative emotions, allow those feelings. They are telling you something useful – that you are thinking thoughts that are not moving you closer to what you want. Negative emotion = moving away from what you want. Positive emotion = moving towards what you want.

      I hope that helps.


  • Great post! I found it very empowering and liberating. It made me realize that I settle for mediocrity too much, which is due to a limiting belief that I only need (deserve) the bare minimum. I also realized that I don’t dream anymore. I am (was 🙂 )so stuck in my current stuff that I don’t (didn’t 🙂 ) dream outside of my current world. Its time for me to really do some soul searching and stop allowing fear to scare the crap out of me. I heard someone say this weekend that everyone has fear its just that those who succeed take action thru the fear. And to add a Melodyism to it…you can only go thru it by feeling better.

    Oh yeah…and you inspired to go get my car washed to get the bird poop off. I need to treat my 96 Mercedes as a treasure and feel good about it to attract my new one.LOL

    • Hey Kim!

      Oh wow. I’m so glad you’re allowing yourself to dream again. That’s the first step to changing anything you don’t like – figure out what you’d like instead.

      And your thoughts about the car are spot on. Love the car you have and you’ll always have a car you can love. Ha.


  • I can just imagine you going “YAAAAAAAAAAY!” at the end of every sentence and thing that you do. There are actually plug-ins that will insert text at the end of every article article if you want to add YAAAAAAAAAAAY! to everything. Let me know and I’ll point you in the right direction. 😉

    I love this article. I’m one of the people, or at least I used to be one of the people, who would look down on others for having fancy cars or extravagant clothing.

    I think it’s a testament to my development that the other day I saw someone driving a Lamborghini, and I didn’t have any negative emotions at all. Actually, I thought it was pretty cool. The only real comment I had to make was that I would definitely get one where the doors open vertically. He had regular doors. Lame.

    I’ve been consistently working on my vibration. It’s funny that I was doing a lot of intention manifestation yesterday about my website, and I got a guest article up at dumblittleman today. I suspect I’ll have more traffic today than in any other individual day in the history of my site. How’s that for the law of attraction?

    Oh, and that means I’ll be surpassing you in the Facebook war. Sorry, but you really shouldn’t have given me all these tools to beat you.


    • Well Fred, for now, I’m still the winner. YAAAAAAAAY! And no matter what happens, I can guarantee that I’ll always feel like the winner. YAAAAAAAAY! Cause that’s what happy, shiny puppy energy is – always feeling like you’re winning. YAAAAAAAY! Like the Universe is looking out for you. YAAAAAAAAY! And having enough energy to always be yelling YAAAAAAY! inside. YAAAAAAAAY!

      Hugs, YAAAAAAAAY!


  • Hi Melody,

    Great post again! I reminds me about a sentence an ex-girl friend often used: ”Be careful for what you wish, because you can get it’. And often the wish came true. The only problem became taking responsibility for the things we had wished for.

    That was a nice memory and a life lesson I always have remembered.

    Thanks for sharing this lesson!

    • Ha, ha, Marc. It sounds like your ex was very wise. It can be a pain to take responsibility for EVERYTHING we create. The good, the bad and the annoying. But it should also be empowering to know that if we can change the input, we’ll get a different output.


  • Very -i think-well written ..and i have and do find-personally-the -less complicated and direct-the ‘process” / of -‘deliberate manifestation” is the the more rapid and certain the results. keeping up-maintaining-a thirst for whatever i,ve -really desired, and yes.. believing it will somehow come in my experience and feeling a gratitude because ‘it,s” on it,s -way..seems to work! the(my?) source-subconcious mind-god-whatever-delivers what i,ve wanted-quicker ,the more passionately i,ve desired it-and an actual better edition thrown in -almost-always. after having lived-66-years-i find and am finding that-the “universe” is a GREAT-confirmer of -whatever -repeat-whatever it is -one accepts as ‘true”.What a marvel;ous-mystery! Thank you melody-for the inspiring content and your -hip and marvelous way you express! brightest blessings…earl

    • Hi Earl!!

      You’re absolutely right. The stronger your desire, the faster the manifestation can show up, providing there is no resistance. Also, stronger desire will trump weak resistance, it’s all about which side gets more energy. But… stronger desire will also make that resistance more painful, which is why a lot of people have decided that it’s painful to want things. It’s not the wanting that’s painful, but the beliefs that state that we can’t have what we want.

      I think you’ve figure out the most important bit: The Universe will always prove you right. 🙂


  • Oops, Melody, you nailed me. I was cringing with almost every sentence. I know you’ve done it before, but I would love a couple more posts with step by step examples of letting go of a specific evil genie limiting belief.

    For years, I was afraid that anyone I loved would die. Massively limiting! Two most beloved people in my life had died, and I just couldn’t face that again. I used to pray that I would die before anyone else. Ouch!!! No more love for anyone new, that’s for sure. Thank heavens, I’m twenty years past those obsessive days, but truthfully even writing this paragraph is a bit painful – a sure sign that some deep low vibration lingers.

    Thanks for putting me in touch with (rubbing my nose in!!) an area of my psyche that obviously needs work. Whew!

    Hugs for all. Namaste,

    Mary Carol

    • Hiya Mary Carol,

      I actually have a list of posts to write, one of which is about death. But I don’t write something until it wants to come out. It has to basically raise its hand and yell at me. Whatever calls out to me gets written. Whatever needs to be read next, comes out. So I can’t tell you when this post will come, only that it will.

      Huge hugs,

  • Hi Melody, that´s a very interesting point at which many of us fail!

    And why is that? We wish things, but manifest them with a hitch in it, because there has been a flawed premise attached to our wishing?
    Why does it seem so hard to wish fully, to wish like we´ve never wished before, as you put it? Even when we have tracked down our underlying disbelieves, our obstructive believes in inevitable failure, limitation or punishment, it still feels weird to us to let them go and establish an uncorrupted receptivity to our desires.
    Our resistances/flawed believes are of course part of our journey, to lead us the way. They are not just to release or to replace with better ones, they carry the message of the issues we want to explore. May sound weary like you wrote about. But every little resistance is there for a reason, something we chose, because we humans often want to walk the whole way, want to experience everything in order to make our choices from it (and this is not just because we have been brought up with beliefs in scarcity and guilt).
    We want to have a task, we want to be/stay related to our fellow men, we are searching for our place in all of that, we don´t want to leave it all (maybe we don´t have to, but we feel like, when giving up all of our consensus).
    The most essential need/want of the human soul is that of rootedness, and we rather compromise, get us even in deep dependencies, sickness and dysfunction to maintain this feeling to belong. Wishing what we desire actually brings many of us into a feeling place of reluctancy and contradiction. (I have e.g. a sense/belief of becoming disorientated and indifferent with others attached to my desire for financial independency, which I can´t resolve at the time..).
    We have to carefully work through this all; means, similar to a clutterer, we have to sort out our mess, look at every single piece distinctively, and carefully sort them out one by one (and keep what we are not ready to give up yet); doesn´t work in one go.
    Even when we have emancipated from societies mentality to a high degree, we need to carefully look at what we want to release, things which have served their purposes for us.
    So we have to truly participate in our affairs and beliefs, and make our choices consciously.
    No restriction to any approach, just don´t miss yourself (what we are ready to know at this stage) in it.

    Let´s have it all anyway!

    • Hi Sara,

      You’re so right. We’re not just afraid of wishing because of this one overriding belief that wishing, in and of itself, is bad. Each desire will carry with it a certain bit of resistance (or we’d have received it) and overcoming each piece of resistance can be considered a journey of its own. This is pretty much why I’ll never run out of things to write about… 😉


  • Funny..I was just thinking about this a couple of weeks ago. I was watching a student-film inspired by the story of King Midas and wondered why he had to be cursed that way when instead, if the story had taken a different turn, Midas could have chosen what to turn to gold and what to leave in its natural state. Anyway…I’m going to pick on that one line about spending life with someone who makes you deeply unhappy because I think you know by now that it’s stuff like that (relationships) that intrigues me. 🙂

    I know it’s wrong in every way to spend an eternity with someone who makes you unhappy. But I think there comes a time in most serious relationships when a couple is challenged or taken to a crossroads, and it does sorta prove that the love still exists. For instance, when you’ve spent your life with someone for so long, they tend to see right through you. Sometimes expectations aren’t met, especially when there’s two people with different methods of handling things. Both people may be right, but a clash of opinions on a constant basis can cause for unhappiness. The people who can’t take it normally split (not wrong) but the ones who work through it do find love again, maybe even greater than before (overcoming adversity does give people a tremendous sense of pride). I think that’s why people stick with that mentality, because it does hold true in some cases. This is especially tricky because the feeling of unhappiness in a relationship creeps up (mostly) in relationships that have lasted a long time. If not, they would have split a while ago. So you’ve spent time with someone for years, then unhappiness sets in, and people get stuck because if they could, they’d move on.

    The reason I brought this up is because I’d like to know what YOU’D (literally anyone reading this comment, pls feel free to chip-in) wish for in a situation like that? Just curious. Two people have spent 10 years with each other, but are now unhappy. Do we wish to find someone else, or wish for the relationship to get better? There’s obviously a sense of attachment, almost family-like, when you’ve spend so much time with someone. If there’s any way to completely crack the “Be Careful What You Wish For” term, I think this is it…because it’s tricky and involves someone else and the potential of screwing up is high. What would you do, Melody? 🙂

    • Hey Derrek,

      First, I want to clarity that this point in the post was referring to staying in a situation that makes you deeply unhappy without changing anything.

      Now, as for what those changes should be, leaving or trying to make it work, that depends entirely on the situation. Unless there was some kind of abuse involved, I would try to make it work. Especially when you’ve spent that much time with someone, there’s a good chance you can find the match again. Since I work on myself, however, instead of trying to change the other person, and usually fix most issues that way, I don’t get into many situations that are even remotely ugly. As long as there is open communication and both parties are willing to do the work on themselves, almost anything can be resolved. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’d have to stay together, but if there was as split, it would be amicable.
      I can’t honestly see myself in a relationship where there was no communication (I don’t attract people like that into my life anymore, not romantically or otherwise), but if someone’s not willing to talk about something, that would pretty much be the death toll there… That’s just me, though.


  • You have outdone yourself with this one. Tits up, huh? I can’t stop laughing. Thanks for raising my vibration a little today.

    I need to figure out how to send this to everyone I know and then tape it to my forehead. More and more often lately I find myself saying, “To hell with that, cancel it. THIS is what I really want.”

  • Is it really the case that if you don’t manifest something positive–e.g. a new car that works schnazzy–that there is something to blame in that? In other words, the lady with her car might have gotten a lemon to help her realize something else. It wasn’t what she wanted, but perhaps what she needed.

    • Well Joe Bill, not according to the philosophy I follow and teach (this is where the two of us generally differ). Whatever you manifest, which is EVERYTHING in your reality, is a reflection of your vibration. So, you manifest a lemon, it’s not because you need to learn a lesson, per se, but rather that for whatever reason you didn’t line up with the well working car. Now, if you want to see the process of shifting your energy to line up with what you want as “learning a lesson” that’s just semantics, really. But it wouldn’t be because some outside force determined that you had to learn that lesson. And you can learn that lesson the easy way (shift before there’s a whole series of huge manifestations) or the hard way (create a lot of pain first and then shift). It’s entirely up to you, providing you know how to work the process. You’re not supposed to learn anything, just as you’re not supposed to suffer. You’re supposed to have fun and be happy. That’s it. But if you don’t want to be, that’s ok too. No one will punish you for it. Except you. 🙂


      • For some reason I see both the philosophies merging here, in a rare case. I’m thinking she attracted a lemon because it was aligned with her vibration, but maybe also because there was a lesson there? What if the lemon’s lesson was that her vibration isn’t as good as she’d like it to be? And by manifesting a lemon she could detect that it’s time to look into some limiting beliefs, some of which could manifest as worse things than a crappy car. Maybe?

        Also, what if the lemon is a way of leading her to a newer, flashier, shinier car? Not sure how, but isn’t that what we’re not supposed to know? The Universe works in mysterious ways. :p

        I’ve always believed in the ‘bigger picture’. Not in punishment or suffering or pain, but that sometimes there’s a bigger picture, and that maybe manifesting something crappy is only a stepping-stone for something else to take place. Maybe the person wants a new boyfriend, and thinks a shinny car will do the trick (self-esteem booster), but actually meets a great guy at the workshop when she drags her lemon in when the radiator explodes. I’m just shooting theories here. What do you think, Melody? 🙂

        • Hey Derrek,

          Great points. The answer to all of these scenarios is the same (you’re right. They all merge): what’s important is how you feel. So, if you’ve manifested a lemon, instead of beating up on yourself for whatever you think you did wrong, embrace it as a lesson, a stepping stone or a growth opportunity. Whatever. If you can feel good about it, you’ll get whatever it was leading you to. A better car (to match the new vibration) or the guy at the workshop. The only thing you don’t want to do is feel powerless because either some higher power is doing this to you because you deserve it or because you’re just unlucky, or life just sucks or whatever. That will just lead to more lemons…

      • Melody,

        I guess the problem I have with “you are supposed to have fun and be happy” is that it implies if that ISN’T what’s going on, that in essence, it’s “your fault”. Didn’t get the shiny car? Fix your vibration, man! Didn’t get the hot chick with the awesome body and great personality? It’s your vibration, dude! Stuck in a Jewish concentration camp? Well, you REALLY need to work on your energy. 😉

        I think the universe usually knows what we need better than we do–and I think pretty often we don’t get what we want and it turns out to be exactly what we wanted in the long run. Of course, I also think we sometimes get what we don’t want and it fucking sucks too. It isn’t that we are powerless, but I don’t think we are “all powerful” either.

        As I’ve said before, the ego usually wants what’s pleasant–but that’s what the ego wants. It wants bunnies, kitties, rainbows, and all that sort of thing which there is NOTHING wrong with–but that’s only a fraction of life. Wanting to be happy probably means you will find the duality haunting you around dark corners. Just BE!

        The trick is not to think of blessings and curses in the first place. It’s not to embrace the good and forget the bad. It’s not to reject the bad and embrace the good either.

        The best line I can think of is from a poem that was turned into a song by Jamie Sieber. The ending line of her poem/song is “Maybe I found happiness, but it wasn’t what I thought”. It’s a curious line if you think about it, because what EXACTLY is happiness? Is it a shiny car? Is it a hot babe? How can you use the LOA to be happy if you don’t know what it is?

        Now, I know where you are coming from on the fear based end of it all with this, and I agree with you. You can’t let fear run your life. At the same time, I think we all co-create reality beyond just our personal ones because secretly we are all the same person–we all have a collective soul along with an individual one if you will. At a certain level, the greatest happiness comes not from “a shiny car for you” but a “shiny car for everyone”.

        The reason your monks and Mother Teresa’s exist is the realization that pursuing what one wants in the end is futile in one particular way–having what you want to the exclusion of someone else still leaves the world in darkness. It’s effectively no different than holding a knife up to your own throat and cutting it.

        So, perhaps not getting your shiny car is part of a higher calling. Perhaps it is a motion to get you to look at your life DIFFERENTLY than you would if you got it. Your spirits tend to see from a much different perspective–usually much longer than your own. At the level of God, if you want to use that term, it’s hard to imagine what such a perspective would look like–but at some point you either trust the universe and whatever it does or does not bring you ALONG with your instincts and desires, or you don’t.

        So, for my part anyway, if a lemon is what I manifest, I simply take it as this is obviously for my greatest good, at least for now.

        • Hey Joe Bill,

          I suppose, for your purposes, it would be better to say “You have permission to be happy”, instead of you are supposed to be happy. It’s not an obligation, but there is no grand design keeping you from happiness. Ever. And no, I would never say that anyone is to BLAME because their life isn’t the way they want it. Taking responsibility and taking blame are not the same. If we take responsibility for our lives, look for cause and effect, change the cause and therefore the effect, we will feel empowered and have the tools to actually change our lives for the better. Blame keeps us stuck where we are, only now we’re feeling even worse than before.

          Now, I will never say that happiness comes from getting cars. The only reason anyone wants a car or anything else is because they think that it will lead to happiness. What we all REALLY want is to be happy. But… if I stand here and tell people to give up on the cars (as many gurus have done), a great many will not want to listen to that. What of them? Do they not deserve happiness? I will answer for you, because you kick puppies and may not agree: yes. Yes they do. So, I tell people (correctly) that if they reach for happiness, the cars will come. What I don’t emphasize too much is that when you get happy, sometimes the cars become irrelevant. But they don’t always. Now, you can reach for that happiness in a myriad of ways. Some people resonate with getting rid of all their possessions and meditating in a monastery for months. Some go to wrestling matches. I like luxury spas, traveling and six pack abs along with my meditation. We’re each on our own journey, really. HOW you get there is kind of irrelevant. I offer one method, others offer something different. Whatever floats your boat, I say. 🙂


          • Melody,

            Alright. I agree with you for the most part, but you answered for me, and I can’t let that fly. 😉 No, no one deserves anything. No one is entitled to anything. You can SEEK happiness, but that is not the same as saying you deserve it because at some point you realize that when you seek it, you were assuming it was outside of you.

            I’m not sure if you DO find happiness that it therefore means cars come either because I think happiness is already you from the beginning but you get in the way of it. You simply notice what was there all along which is not dependent on the external, it just is–no matter what.

            When you find your inner happiness, I think you tend to become as the poem–“Maybe I found it, but it wasn’t what I expected”. Does a deep meditation make you FEEL happy? Sorta kinda? It’s more empty–seamless–cruising on the waters–stable. Happiness as it is usually thought of actually disturbs the meditation–it causes ripples in the stillness.

            Kicking puppies is sometimes necessary. I once had a Great Dane who decided to basically challenge my authority and attempt to bite me in a nasty sort of way. She was like seventh months old. We went some serious rounds complete with blood smearing. After that day, the puppy and I got along harmoniously. One might say my “kicking her” helped our future happiness by a factor of a million.

            Okay, I’m done being contrary now. (Goes off to kick things for greater happiness later)

          • Nah, I’ve got to disagree with you on that one. Everyone deserves to be happy and the idea that one doesn’t, does a great deal of damage to one’s psyche. And then one feels the need to kick puppies and justify ones actions as having been for the puppy’s “own good”. Like when I kicked my ex in the long and danglies, and reasoned that it led to greater happiness for me. Which it did. What was my point? Oh yes: You deserve to be happy, Joe Bill. You really do.

            Ok, how about this: when you meditate, you shut off all the noise, all the chatter. And you get still. Not like a pond, but more like being in a room with 1000 boom boxes. And they’re all on. And when you meditate, you turn them all off. If you succeed, you hear this beautiful music that was there all along, but which you couldn’t hear because of all the noise. This is the song of happiness. And when you hear it, you must do the happy dance. It’s not particularly elegant, but it’s happy. Lots of jazz hands and such…


          • Did someone say ‘wrestling matches’? The horrendous outfits, the loony-bin gimmicks, the fixed matches, the silly storylines, the complete madness of having chairs as weapons, childish behavior from grown men sometimes way beyond their 40’s, and the plain stupidity of it all.

            And the sheer awesomeness.

            Now that’s happy-happy joy-joy happiness. Sorry I just had to respond to ‘wrestling matches’. It gets me all warm and fuzzy inside. 🙂

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