Ask any productivity or success expert and one of the first things they’ll tell you is this: If you want to be successful, you’ve got to set goals. We’ve read the statistics that tell us that about 80% of people don’t even have goals and that only 1% of the population hits the magic trifecta of setting goals, writing them down and reviewing them regularly. And it’s probably no coincidence that this 1% seems to be the most successful segment of the population. Dozens of books and hundreds of articles have been written about goal setting. So why the hell would I feel the need to add to that mountain of words by writing a post about this topic? Well, because, even though the importance of goal setting has been widely and tirelessly lauded, the statistics haven’t changed. 80% of the population still doesn’t set goals. You would think with all this information out there, with all this apparent proof that the simple act of goal setting can mean the difference between a Bentley and food stamps, that people wouldn’t have to be told twice. You would think that they’d be getting their goddamned goals tattooed on their bootays. But you’d be horribly, horribly wrong.
So, something must be missing – some piece of the equation. And I think I might know what it is: it’s the WHY. Why does goal setting work? How exactly does it help us to become more successful? Enter the Law of Attraction, the theory that explains everything, if you know how to look at it (and I do. Ha!). So yes, this a post on goal setting, but I promise not to give you the same, old, tired crap that you’ve read a hundred times before (instead, I’ll give you all new, shiny crap). Ready? Here we go:
The 3 major components of successful Goal setting (plus 3 optional ones):
I’m going to make this short and sweet, since this will almost certainly be old news to you:
- Set a goal
- Write it down
- Review it
- (optional): Buy a Bentley
- (optional): Drive that Bentley past the house of your 8th grade teacher who said you’d never amount to anything.
- (optional): Have your butler ring the doorbell of said teacher’s house and when they come to the door, proceed to moon them, while your butler uses his posh English Accent to calmly pass on your message: “In your face, mathafakkah. Good day, sir.”
Ok, so fine. We know the steps. And yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll set some damn goals as soon as we get around to it. Maybe we’ll buy a nice notebook, just for that purpose. And a special pen. Yes, on Monday we’ll go out and buy a notebook and a special pen and we’ll set goals and then we’ll just wait for success to come rolling in. Man, we’re gonna be so rich! And then we get distracted by the dog or the kid or our jobs or the economy or good God! Is that a grey hair?! And suddenly, it’s two years later and we’re reading an article about goal setting and we decide that on Monday morning, we’ll go out and get a special notebook and a funky pen and we’ll set goals and wait for success and Bentleys to come rolling in. Rinse and repeat.
The energetic principles behind goal setting
When goal setting is done right, it IS incredibly effective. This is because the whole concept is actually based on energetic principles – the same ones I talk about all the time on this blog. That’s right, goal setting (again, done the right way), is a tool you can use to align your energy with what you want.
Step 1: Set a goal = Figure out what you want
Most people never figure out what they want. When you ask them what they want, they’ll give you a long list of crap that they DON’T want: They want their boss to grow a pair. They want people on welfare to stop mooching off the system. They want their kids to stop screaming and they want that asshole with the Bentley and the butler who keeps stopping by to moon them to go to hell already.
But when you stop them and ask them what it is that they actually DO want, what they imagine the solutions to all these problems would look and feel like, they usually need to take a moment. Most people have never really thought about the solution angle, but have only ever focused on the problem.
The act of setting a goal is the act of deciding what it is that we DO want, as well as getting into a space of actually believing, even if just a little bit, that this wanted situation could come about. I’m convinced that a lot of people never set goals, not because they’re stupid and lazy, but because they’re afraid: if you don’t believe that you can actually get what you want, then thinking about that desire will be painful.
But as we know, whatever we focus on grows and eventually comes into our physical reality. So, if we continue to focus on what we don’t want, we keep receiving more of that. If we want to change what’s coming into our world, we have to be willing to shift our focus from the crap we don’t like to the stuff that we do like or would like to see.
Seen through the LOA lens, the traditional first step of goal setting is therefore redefined as:
New Goal Setting Step 1:
Define what you actually DO want by using the information of what you don’t want and do it in such a way that at least a small part of you can believe that getting what you want is possible (without adding “when pigs fly”).
Step 2: Write down your goal = Give it more power and fine tune the frequency
When you write down your goal, you bring it into the physical. Bringing something into the physical gives it more energy. This is why merely thinking something isn’t as powerful as speaking it, writing it or representing it with images. The key here is that whatever method you use to make that energy physical feels the same to you as the thought. This means, that as you focus on what you want, you’ll want to get into the feeling of it. Do you want to be rich? What would that feel like? What would financial freedom actually look like on a day to day basis? Really flesh out the fantasy. Now, when you write it down (or draw it or find some representative pictures), make sure that whatever you’re writing (or the images you choose) matches those feelings. When you review what you’ve created, it should evoke the feelings of your goal easily.
As you may have just realized, there are many ways to create a physical representation of your goals. You can write them down in a journal, or on snippets of paper which you place in a special treasure box. You can make a vision board or sand painting (using natural objects to represent different aspects of what you want). It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as your representation evokes the feelings of what you truly want. By going through the process of finding just the right words, images or objects, you are fine tuning yourself – you are refining the frequency you’re looking for and training yourself to attune to it. Do not underestimate the power of this step.
When you take the time to flesh out the details of your goal, you also have the opportunity to discover any resistance you may have. For example, let’s say that your goal is to be rich. Any goal setting guru will tell you this is far too general: How rich, exactly? Well, you may then think, “I want to earn a million dollars a year.” But as you think about this goal, you realize that all kinds of limiting thoughts are coming up. How will you manage all that money? Won’t greedy relatives come out of the woodwork asking for handouts? How the hell do you open an offshore account? When you have sex with Paris Hilton, do you leave the money on the pillow or have your accountant wire it to her? (Answer: Go check yourself into a hospital and ask them to marinate you in their finest anti-biotic/disinfectant/pesticide cocktail for at least 24 hours.) You have no idea how to handle that amount of money and the very idea of it makes you sweat. What you’re doing here is trying to make a quantum leap, something most of you know that I generally advise against. You’re trying to move too far, too fast. If you’re currently making $30.000/year, a million dollars a year might be a bit of as stretch. But what about $100.000/year? That may seem a lot more comfortable. Yes, that feels good. You can see how you’d spend that kind of money. You could easily manage it, upgrade your life in many ways and you don’t see any real issues arising – at least not any you couldn’t handle.
In this example, you’ve just discovered that you have a great deal of resistance around the idea of earning a million dollars a year, but that you can much more easily envision yourself earning a bit less (but still much more than you currently earn.) Knowing this, you’d refine your goal from “Become rich” to “I earn $100.000/year” (and NOT “I earn $1.000.000/year, which would cause you a lot of discomfort and probably make you abandon the whole exercise.)
Do you have to define HOW you’ll get that money? No, you don’t, and in fact, you’d be much better off if you didn’t. But this can be tricky. If you find yourself worrying about how you’ll make that kind of money, and wondering if the Universe might even bring it to you in a way that you don’t like, like an evil genie that twists your dreams into nightmares, then feel free to add a caveat to the goal: “I earn $100.000/year, easily and in a way that makes me happy.” The Universe doesn’t need you to do this. It knows exactly what you want. But if you’re worried about any aspect of your goal, you’re going to be emitting a conflicting vibration, essentially stopping your desire from coming to you. So write whatever you need to in order to give yourself some peace of mind. Remember that you can always set new and bigger goals when you’ve achieved these.
New Goal Setting Step 2:
Flesh out your dream. Define the specifics of WHAT you want, leaving the HOW to the Universe. Pay attention to how you feel, and refine your goal (and/or reword it) until you’re completely comfortable with it.
Step 3: Review your goals regularly = tip the scale
If you’ve taken the time to perform Steps 1 and 2 properly, then Step 3 should be a breeze and actually, a lot of fun. All you’re doing here is taking the time on a regular basis (preferably daily) to spend a few minutes focusing on the frequency of what you want. The physical representation you created in Step 2 should help you to easily get into the right emotional state (your proof that you’re aligning with the correct energy).
It’s important to note that you don’t actually have to do this to receive what you want. As long as you’re not emitting any conflicting vibrations, as long as you don’t have any thoughts that negate what you want, it will come to you automatically. But if you do have some fears, stray thoughts that aren’t serving you, or outright resistance, then spending even just a few minutes every day focusing on the pure frequency of what you want, will help you to tip the scale in favor of your desire. Remember that your dominant vibration receives your reality – so as long as you give MORE energy to what you want than to what you don’t want, you’re good to go.
New Goal Setting Step 3:
Spend a few minutes every day focusing on the physical representation of what you want and getting into the feeling of it. The better you feel, the more closely aligned you are with the energy of your goal.
That’s it, in a (rather giant) nutshell. Now you know how to set goals the right way. And yes, it really is that simple. Follow these steps and you can manifest anything you want.
What are your goals? What is it that you want to manifest? Don’t procrastinate (again). Take this opportunity to make your list in the comments. Here are 3 of mine to get you started. I like to word them as though they’ve already happened:
- I’ve successfully transferred my entire business online and built it up to make $10.000/month
- I’ve upgraded my apartment to one that’s about three times as big as the old one. It has a Jacuzzi on the terrace. Also, there’s a rooftop garden. The gardener comes on Thursdays. He’s Australian and really hunky. Sometimes, he sits in the Jacuzzi with me and feeds me champagne.
- I have a butler, who may or may not be named James (giving the Universe some leeway there. I don’t want to be too picky…) James is British (or really good at doing a British accent), and sounds posh but has a wicked sense of humor.
See how easy it is? Now it’s your turn!
“James?! Get me my loose pants and bring the Bentley around. We’re going for another ride…!”
Hi Melody, love this article on goal setting. thank you. I wondered if you may be able to offer me a little advice ? three of my goals are :
1. I am the top performing salesperson in my organisation with a customer base that
bills 50K profit monthly. My customers are happy friendly, positive people.
2. I have just take delivery of my new Vauxhall Astra car in metallic white with my private
number plate BR11 GGY. It has an air freshener shaped like a christmas tree.
3. I have moved into my new stone built home in Wibsey, it has an oak tree in the
garden garden with a bird table hanging from the lowest branch. i have an office with a
green leather top desk and chair like the one in Gordon Gecko’s Wall Street office.
I struggle with the following… I think i have become OBSESSED with the thrashing out the details of my desire, to the point where it is stopping me from taking action. I could tell you every detail of that house, I can drive the car in my head, I am living that sales success… but i think i have gotten so carried away with the enjoyable feeling of thinking through my goals, that i never set foot and take action!
I go back and forward, re working my vision, maybe i need to tweek this, re word that, re-adjust that, and i think right – sorted. I know what I want and i believe it possible for me, then I go back the next day and re work the vision again.
I find it hard to get on with my ‘normal’ day , because I am so obsessed with my goals.
i want to be able to say “right. i know what is coming to me” and get on with my day trusting it will come. how do i ‘park’ my goals, how do i stop thinking i need to re work them and re word them.
how do i get on with the fricking day without obsessing over this. i am killing my energy through stressing about this 🙁
hope you can help x
Hey Rick,
Ok, first of all, Love the license plate. Too funny Briggy! 😀
Second, you’ve got a teensy misconception going there: You don’t create what you want by visualizing. Visualization is a tool to help you align with that which you’ve already created. The Universe knows exactly what you want, my man, even better than you do. So stop trying to give it more details! It’s like you ordered a custom made desk, and you keep calling up the master carpenter and asking if he really knows just how you want the top to look? And did he really read the plans correctly? And is he sure he knows what he’s doing? Maybe you could just come over and check on his progress, maybe even tweak his work… Thank goodness the Universe won’t plant a chisel in your forehead. The carpenter might! 😀
What you’re doing is using the vision of your creation to KEEP IT AWAY. Your main order of the day now is to feel good. Feel good. Feel good. That’s it. You’ve created it all. Now just line up with it. I’d suggest that you do that not by looking at your vision, but by finding things in your NOW that feel good to you. Don’t escape from your now by going into your vision of the future. Look for the nuggets that are in your reality NOW that you can feel good about. The Universe reacts to what you’re offering vibrationally NOW. So, if you’re offering, I don’t like where I am but I will when I get this, it responds to “I don’t like where I am”, and so your reality can’t change. If you’re offering “I like this, I like that, I like this, too! Oh, I love where I am right now for this reason and that reason”, then that’s what you’ll get more of – stuff that matches that feeling, including the car, the clients and the house.
I hope that helps. 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
Fantastic post Melody ! Especially enjoyed the humour along the way..I just went & bought another Special notebook for my Goals.After re-reading some books on Goal setting I was told to have definite deadline & with the LOA that I shouldn’t put a time limit on it. So a little confused , I went off & did some searching on the topic & came across your Blog.
LOA is like goal setting on steroids….
Hey Alan,
It’s great to meet you! LOA definitely is like goal setting on steroids, lol. About the time limit thing. You can do it, but it has to feel good to you. If the time limit you’ve chosen makes you feel pressured and awful, leave it off. It always comes down to how it makes you feel. For some people, a time limit is invigorating, for others, stifling. Do what feels best to you. 🙂
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!
Melody
it is about goal setting.
what steps to follow if you have more than 1 goal.
i have three goals which i wan to achieve.
all are equally important.no one has more priority than the other ones.
1.to become a racer(car/bike ,i leave it to the universe whichever is good for me. but i want to be a racer.)
2. i want to win a robotics competition which is going to be held in the month of January.
3. i want lots of money.
what to do now.
see i believe that if we put our energy on one specific goal it will manifest fast but if i will put my energy on these three thoughts or in other words if i will divide my focus, then which will manifest first.
if i daily visualize myself having accomplished my dreams(visualizing each one for 5 minutes) won’t the universe be confused ?
i want all these three. i cant leave any one. so how the universe will decide which one to manifest for me.
or should i strictly prioritize.
Hey S,
No, the Universe won’t get confused. It can bring you whatever you want, whenever you will allow it. If I were you, I’d focus also on WHY you want all of these things. How will it feel? I guess that all three of them are related to the same core feeling and will actually be attracted by the same energy, when you fully line up with it. You don’t have to worry about prioritizing anything. You’ve already done that.
The Universe doesn’t decide which one to bring you first. If you could see the whole picture (you can’t) and from that perspective choose which one should come first so that it’ll served you the most, based on what you want, THAT’s the one that will come first. Your higher self is helping to prioritize things. And all of that information has already been noted.
Does that make sense?
Huge hugs!
Melody
3 simple steps, right?
NO
there is a big problem here (at least for me )
i have decided what i want.(step 1 clear)
i have wrote it down on paper(step 2 clear)
i visualize as if my goal is achieved each night before sleeping and each morning after waking up.i feel as if i already have it.(step 3 clear)
all set , good.
BUT ,and its a big BUT,
i have not so much things to do in the day, that means i have lots of free time so i again and again think about the goal and every time i think about it, i see the goal is not accomplished and it feels horrible.it creates more and more negative emotions and negative feelings, i start to talk negatively with myself that i am not good enough to achieve that goal, this loa is rubbish, and i will never achieve my goal(it becomes very difficult to let go and leave it to he universe when you have lots of free time to focus on the negative things) .so after few days i leave the idea of manifesting anything. after some days i try again and i fail again. i am trapped in this cycle for about 2 years and have yet not manifested anything i wanted to manifest.
any solution to that.
there should be a STEP 4.
Hi Saurabh,
You’re right. There should be a step 4: Allowing.
You’ve recognized what it is that you’re doing and how it’s not serving you. So now, it’s up to you to find a way to stop doing that. You could do one of several things:
1.) Find a way to fill your time with positive feeling activities. This is basic distraction.
2.) Deliberately shift your thoughts to the good feeling perspective each time your mind goes there. it’s going to the doubts because that’s the point of view you’ve given more energy to. It has more attractive power and so that’s what’s manifesting (thoughts are manifestations, too).
When you find yourself going down the negative route, stop for a minute and ask yourself:
What am I thinking about this subject right now?
Is this what I want to think?
What do I want to think about it?
Am I willing to think those new thoughts?
What would happen if I did think those thoughts?
What do those thoughts feel like?
Then, work your way into those thoughts. Do this EVERY TIME you start to notice yourself moving toward doubt. And then, go and distract yourself. Read, play video games, go for a walk, go out with friends, play with a dog. Do something that feels good.
I hope that was helpful.
Huge hugs!
Melody
ok thats great
one more question….
Many LOA teachers say that if you want something , and visualize it daily and then take action… it wont work if you have some negative limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind. so i want to ask you that if i want something and have many many negative beliefs around that it will never manifest in my reality no matter how much i allow it to appear. IS IT TRUE?
i have many negative beliefs around money and i might dont know about some.
if i allow the money to come will it come regardless of the beliefs i am holding in my sub conscious.
Hey Saurabh,
This is an excellent question. I’ll answer it here in short form and will almost certainly use it for a blog post, as well.
If you have a desire and it’s strong enough, it creates momentum. Think of it this way: your desire is pulling you forward toward what you want. The more you want it, the stronger the pull is. Any resistance you have are like obstacles along the way. You still get pulled forward, but you hit those obstacles as you do. Then, you have the chance to overcome (or release) those obstacles. The more you do that, the easier the ride becomes and the faster you can move toward your goal.
If your desire is strong enough, you will eventually reach it, even if you have massive resistance. It’s just going to be a very bumpy ride. The stuff I teach here is designed to make the ride a lot more fun.
If you focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want, you will get it. The resistance will present itself to be released.
I’ll explain this much more in a blog post, but I hope this makes sense.
Huge hugs!
Melody
Hey Melody,
In regards to the 80% not creating goals….check out the Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) if you haven’t yet. It’s quite fascinating. I learned about it several years ago thinking it was just for productivity (they say 20% of what you do brings 80% results), but I’ve strangely found that 80/20 is existent everywhere. It’s so weird, but so true in so many different cases! I watched an excellent program where a well known entrepreneur was talking about how in his decades of experience, consistently 20% of people always implement his advice/material & get results. 80% will not get those same results (maybe not implement it the same way or use it to its full extent) so you can’t expect everyone to be a success story. If 20% are doing really well with your stuff, you’re in the right ratio. On another note, in terms of productivity, perhaps taking inspired action flips the 80/20 on it’s head and only forced action calls for the rule? 😉
The other thing I wanted to bring up, which was mentioned in an earlier comment is “to-do lists.” As a result of many productivity books and programs, I’ve conditioned myself to write to-do lists with time frames each day in relation to my goals. So, if I am trying to get rid of a lot of stuff to declutter, I might say to go through one of my closets that day. In addition, I might look at a goal like “get 3 $10,000 clients in the next 60 days that are incredibly easy to work with and appreciative of everything I do” and ask myself “what actions can I take today to bring me closer to these 3 clients?” which often involves me going out & looking for them and contacting ones I’m interested in (although I also expect I can get them in other ways). I guess overall, I ask myself questions a lot to come up with what I should do. Is this good practice? When I get up & want to conquer the day, how should I be organizing it & deciding what to do? I get the concept of inspired action, but is there anyway to create an inspired action plan for the day?
Thanks Melody, you rock!
Mike
Hey Mike,
Regarding the 80/20 rule (and yep, I’ve heard of Pareto’s principle), for me, the lesson there is all about leverage. And LOA teaches the same thing, only not with a set ratio. It’s the idea that there are actions you can take that will yield results which are disproportionately greater than the effort required to produce them. In my experience, though, inspired action blows the 80/20 ratio right out of the water. But the message is a good one. 🙂
Ok, with fully inspired action, you don’t need a list. But… not too many of us are fully inspired all the time. Our brains and programming get in the way, and sometimes, taking certain actions, help us to believe that we can achieve goals. If we believe that we must make something happen, then we can either change our beliefs, or we have to set out to make them happen.
I make a little to do list on days when I’m really busy. I have tasks to perform that I can’t forget to do. I don’t sit down and meditate and hope the Universe does them. I don’t have the belief that someone will swoop in today and answer my emails, for example. But, I do regularly set the intention that my life will get easier, and I focus on the feeling of EASY, and then I just let that line up. So, I no longer get inundated with mails, for example. Not only did I have several ideas that cut down on my mails (basically, I will no longer answer what would be a coaching mail outside of a coaching program), but also, people seem to just mail me more incrementally. I don’t get 50 emails dumped into my inbox in a couple of hours anymore. And I’ve found a way to automate certain tasks (that’s easier) as well as some things just kind of flow more. I don’t consider the tasks annoying anymore. These were solutions I could believe and so they became the path of least resistance.
But that’s for every day stuff. When it comes to the big projects, I wait to be inspired. Otherwise, it’s just way too much work and who needs that?
So, for most of us, the real goal is to find the balance between intending and acting based on our own, unique belief system.
You rock too. 🙂
Huge hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody!
Thank you for clearing that out! I was wondering what has happened back than, now I know 🙂 It is amazing how LOA works !!! And it is funny how easy it was for me to forget about it. Now that kind of ammount of money seems to be a big deal, but really it isn’t. What is a million dollars gor God? Easy stuff !!! I used to imagine that I could easily fit that amount of money on a bed if piled nicely, it made it much easier to imagine as an achieveable, it begins and ends somewhere. That way it fits !!!
Thanks Melody you are a Star!!!!
Love
Anya
You’re right Anya. It’s all a matter of perspective. If you think a million dollars is a huge, unreachable, life changing amount, then it’s still far away. But if it feels totally doable and easy (the way it would for someone who already has millions), then you’re allowing money to flow. 🙂
Huge hugs!
Melody
Hello everyone! I wanted to share with you about my experience of manifesting money into my mum’s reality. When i was younger i was very religious i always loved God and He has always been very important to me. When i was 17 i had no idea about LOA, but i knew fromthe Bible that God said “ask and you shal receive”. That is what i did. I said to myself that i will be praying every day for my mum to get some money. I have asked for big amount of money i can say around a million pounds. I prayed each evening very emotional prayers, in which i felt how will it feel when my mum will have money. I felt how amazing it will be how safe will she feel, i prayed deeply. Than i was always saying to myself with calmness that i will see now what will happen, God said that my mum will receive it. I waited. During the day i was going to my school, and i remember that i felt really good than, i was looking after myself and started running, i felt like i can achieve anything. I prayed every evening but during the day i wasn’ t thinking too much about it, apart from i will see now how will it come, God promised me, and i asked, now it is His turn. After a while my mum got in touch with her uncle who lived in another country and never spoke to us. He was really rich and started to send money to my mum. She got around what i have asked God for. So there you go, dont ever give up, there is nothing to big! Trust and faith in God that is the key for me 🙂 Ask and trust than get on with stuff, feel great and i will get great stuff, that is my motto. It is really simple, quiet and clear. Dont give up! He gave us LOA to use it and it always works!
Lots of Loveee!!!!!
Anya
Hey Anya,
That’s an awesome story and you’ve really got the receiving part down. Just to clear up any confusion, though, I’d like to point out that this was a co-creation. Your mom had to allow the money in, too. But what you did, by so clearly shining a light on the energy of what she wanted (and what you wanted) was make it a lot easier for her to allow the money in. We really have no idea just how powerful we are. 🙂
You’re just awesome.
Huge hugs!
Melody
PPS: Change “I have $50000” to “I maintain $50000.” Yes!
Ooh yes! I like that better! Nice one Lady A.S.!
Hi Melody,
I read this post and then didn’t have the Internet for two weeks. Arggg! But it gave me lots of time to think about what my goals are at this point in my life. I came up with two, and I’ll record them here to make them official.
1: I can identify my limiting beliefs.
2: I have $50000 pesos extra in my bank account (about $4000 CDN).
The first one is really tricky for me. Maybe you can give us some more examples of the process of identifying a limiting belief in future posts, or point me to some I may have missed.
Eg: Catastrophizing! What belief causes this?? Yesterday I was walking my amazing, wonderful dog Gemma, and suddenly I imagined a car racing by, hitting and killing her as I held her leash. Acckkkk! Later I was standing on a balcony and a police car went by, and I imagined the policeman shooting me and racing off. Double acckkk! In two seconds the thought passes and it doesn’t ever even reach the level of a feeling, no panic, just jeesh – what was that? Like a really smelly brain fart!
Thanks for writing a post that has kept me thinking for two weeks,
Mary Carol
PS It’s awesome to realize that pretty much everything else that I could want in my life, I already have. Wow! Another benefit of goal setting is the appreciation of what you don’t need a goal for, because it’s already here. Hee hee.
Hey Mary Carol,
I’ve actually done several posts on finding limiting beliefs. There’s not a process I can give you because each belief is different. Essentially, you’ll want to figure out what the resistance feels like and then look for patterns of unwanted manifestations from your past. When have you created a similar experience for yourself? For example, I got the flu twice in a row a few months ago, within weeks of each other. That was a pattern. I don’t get sick unless I’m pushing myself too hard on something, and I was. The flu got my attention and I analyzed what I was doing BOTH times, which helped me to identify the belief.
Almost every post I write is designed to help you identify a limiting belief (as in, “OMG! I do that!”) But here are two that show how I hunted one down within myself:
The Story of the Broken Water Heater – an LOA Example and
So I Got Hacked. Apparently Because I’m A Dingwad.
But of course, there will be many more posts like this in the future. 🙂
Also, about those fleeting thoughts you have: since you are not holding on to them long enough to have an emotional reaction to them, I think that you’re having a very momentary lapse in focus, but not enough to do any damage. Just see the thought and let it go. I would use the opportunity to switch to the opposite scenario and think about that for a while. But really, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Everyone gets some fleeting thoughts like that from time to time. When I drive over a bridge, I sometimes get a thought, just for a split second, of driving over it. That doesn’t mean that I want to or that I’m going to. I’ve come to see it as being aware of a dish on the buffet that you don’t want. So what? It’s there. Who cares? I don’t have to eat it. In fact, seeing that icky dish refocuses me on my search for that chocolate souffle, or whatever. 🙂
Hugs!
Melody
Melody Darling,
Had a conference cancel this morning and SO-O-O needed to read this. Have a shot at a TV show and need to focus on outcome, and of course set deadlines, but not hang on one persons input. There are more people out there who will see the opportunity to join in who I do not know now, but will.
Thanks, please tell me how you like the Autumnal LaDiva outfit.
Don’t you worry LaDiva! You are fabulousness personified, and those who cannot see it are not worthy of even the teensiest moment of your attention. Those who are a match to you will find you. You don’t have to go chasing after them begging them to see your value. 🙂
Love the outfit, the pearls AND the hair. ADORE the martini.
Hugs!
Melody
This is the Autumnal outfit of which I inquired.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUQ4loiISWU
Sending thoughts that all your intake = YUM!
Ah sorry. I thought you meant the pic on your website. Love the turkey outfit, too. And your amazing energy!!!
Rock on, girl!
m
Hi Melody,
Refreshing way of bringing the topic of goal setting 🙂
I must be in the 1% of people because my goals are on my laptop’s screen saver 🙂
Inspiring idea for getting the Bently – I just need to add a nice Bently screen saver ( without butler: I drive )
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Marc,
Congratulations on being in the 1%. Don’t advertise that… Some people may start picketing your house… ;D
It’s hard to moon people when you’re driving. Just saying…
Hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody,
It is a castle with a canal system and nice Lodewijk XiV gardens … enough place to picket between 9 am to 17 pm besides on sunday than it’s open until 18 pm. ( With 10$ intrance fee )
🙂
Marc
Lol I love this article! While I tend to do number one and two, I have skipped out on number three lately, which is a big no-no.
This is because, at least right now, my energy is rather unstable. Sometimes I feel very loving and happy, and other times rather negative. I seem to have opened up a door into higher vibrations, but I sometimes get sucked down into lower ones. The daily vibrational exercise you recommend really keeps my energy high and keeps me manifesting at the top of my ability.
By the way, my eyes went down and read that thing about you making $10,000 a month from your site before I realized that your set your goals if they had already happened. I was about to change my name to James and take some voice lessons. :O
Here’s my problem. I’m actually not sure that is a problem, but I’ve seen it come up in a couple different places, so please help me along. When you said you wanted a Jacuzzi on top of your apartment. I realize you are probably being facetious – or maybe not, who doesn’t want to Jacuzzi? – But I got a twinge of the “no one needs that!” vibe.
This is related to what I said about becoming a monk and so on. While I logically think that, even though nothing is wrong with having lots of modern luxuries, it’s just a bit weird that there are people with none of them. And yet, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just is.
My concern is that this is a just a logical matter – my vibration is somehow less abundant than it could be, because I suppose I’m assuming that these resources are scarce, or that having massive amounts of wealth and using it for your own pleasure is a bad thing.
Can you help me identify some limiting beliefs in some ways to correct them?I’d be forever grateful.
By the way, let me know if/when I should change my name to James.
Dear James,
I wasn’t being facetious. I really want a Jacuzzi on my terrace. I can see myself sitting out there every night, looking at the stars, enjoying the warm bubbliness all around me. Ahhh. Pleasure. Why the hell not? People have them in their back yards for the same reason… I just want city living and a Jacuzzi. And having it in the bathroom isn’t the same. Who wants to have parties in the bathroom??
Yeah, I’d say you definitely have some limited beliefs around wealth and abundance. I wrote an article about that: Spiritual and Rich – An Oxymoron?. I think it will help you. Meditation will definitely help you to stabilize your vibration. Be more unstable you feel, the more you need to back off and just focus on being kind to yourself. Take walks, meditate, read trashy novels, play with puppies, cuddle with your girlfriend, watch old movies, whatever. Just back off a bit and raise your vibration. That’s always hardest to remember when you need it the most (for me, too…)
Also, James, my breakfast in bed was late this morning. Be a dear and get on that, would you?
OMG, I SO want a butler now!
Hugs,
Melody
Super breakdown Melody! #3 jumps out at me, because from experience I know that living in your mental picture is the quickest way to make it come alive.
Thanks for sharing!
RB
Hi Ryan,
Number 3 is the fun part, but no less powerful because of it (just because it’s fun, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work…)
Thanks for stopping by and all your support!
Hugs,
Melody
The school my son was attending focused on goal setting even if they are still in kindergarten. They have this goal chart in front of them. They have to accomplish what they have placed on it after the day. That is why I know about goal setting. People who has goals accomplish more and know what direction they are up to.
Hi Danterio,
Welcome to Deliberate Receiving! I’d be interested to know if the kids get to choose the goals themselves? I ask because I don’t think that people learn the power of goal setting when someone else has determined them. These aren’t goals. That’s just a to do list… 😉
Hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody and Danterio,
When I was teaching, I had students set goals (I taught high school math). We talked about the goals being realistic (small steps), achievable, something that resonated with them personally. Sometimes they’d put the goals in an envelope (separate envelope for each student), seal them up, and I’d collect them and then give them back in a set time, like maybe in a month. As the teacher, I never read the goals.
With adults learning to write novels, I had them set ‘where do you want to be’ goals for three months, one year, five years, etc. Again with the envelopes, and at the end of the course they got them back.
For me personally, I like to write goals on a sheet of paper and put them on the fridge. That way they’re in my face every day. I remember once reading a long list a year later, and every single goal had come true.
Great post, Melody, as always. Hugs to you both,
Mary Carol
Hi Mary Carol,
That sounds awesome. I love the fact that you allowed the kids to keep their goals secret. This way, they were free to write something really personal and important to them. And that’s a great idea about pasting them to the fridge. I put them on my bulletin board that hangs above my desk, so I see them all the time. It really keeps me on track…
Hugs,
Melody
Thanks Melanie. Great post! And I couldn’t agree with you more. In my ebook on 7 Killer Mistakes, this is KM #1! It’s truly amazing how many people don’t take goal setting more seriously. 80% don’t set goals?? Really? That’s just crazy.
As always, thanks for the food for thought.
Who’s Melanie? Have you been holding out on us, Melody? Is there a twin sister we’re supposed to know about? Or are you a female action-hero who changed her name because you were on the run from the law after being wrongfully framed for …*gasp!!* … stealing puppies at the local petstore?! In which case, you really should have tried harder with the ‘name choosing’ bit. You know, something that doesn’t begin with the alphabets ‘M-E-L’.
We want the truth, Melody! The people demand answers!
It wasn’t from a pet store, it was from an evil lady with a messed up color job who was going to make a coat from them. And I’d do it again.
Well, we can’t all be as gifted at picking names as you Sir Namealot! Besides, it’s like hiding in plain sight. No one would ever suspect Melanie and Melody to be the same person. That’s just too obvious. See what I did there? Yeah… stealthy…
Sir Namealot? I like it! 😀 You just gave me a better name than I gave myself, which should not be the case because I am…Sir Namealot! I should give the best names! So it’s really a name that shouldn’t be mine because I didn’t name me that, but it’s better than the one I gave myself which kinda means that I’m not Sir Namealot…only I indeed am. Mind explosion in 3….2….1.
This is almost like the ‘Grandfather Paradox’, only with nicknames.
*irony high-five, down low!!*
Thanks Sean,
I didn’t do the survey myself, so I can’t attest to the numbers. But you know, it sounds about right. Most people never bother to figure out what they want. They think they have, but they’ve just figured out what they don’t want. All that is rapidly changing, though. Exciting times, my friend… 🙂
Hugs!
Melody
Wow so sorry M-E-L-O-D-Y!! Duh. Obviously I know who you are. Brain cramp. I turned 50 recently–maybe I can blame that. And many thanks to Derrek for the correction. I’ll be so glad when I reach perfection! In the meantime . . .
LOL Sean. I wasn’t going to say anything. I got my “muscle” to do it for me, ha, ha, ha. No worries. I have my blonde moments, too.
Hugs,
Melanie 😉
Kick-ass post, Melody. 🙂
Honestly, this is the most down-to-earth, realistic goal setting article I have ever read. I’m serious. It’s truthful, I can relate to it on so many levels, and the best part is when you say we can ‘take it slow’. Which is so true because most of the time we set goals that are too far off, and when we don’t reach them we give up.
It’s interesting to note that a lot of people who get rich overnight by winning the lottery either lose all their money within the first year (literally blowing off millions of dollars) or find that they’re suddenly “cursed” with bad luck. Hence the belief that lottery money brings bad luck. I don’t think luck has anything to do with it. Maybe the quantum leap was just too big. You’re struggling to pay the bills one day and the next you’re sitting on 25million dollars. It may sound like a dream come true, and it probably is, but being bombarded with a responsibility like that overnight could definitely trigger some resistance and limiting beliefs that have been dormant just because you didn’t have to deal with them in your “moneyless” state. Imagine the flood of fears that would come rolling in when an unprepared person is suddenly announced the winner of that kinda money. More often than not, they lose their money and manifest all of the cash’s extra baggage in the process. It’s just too overwhelming, unless you have a real game-plan as to how you’d manage the money if (when!) you win. For instance, a good goal-setting list that eliminates all resistance so that when you do win the big prize, you’ll know exactly what to do with it without breaking a sweat. 😉
Hey Derrek,
Thanks! And that’s a great example of a situation where failing to eliminate resistance will cause you to recreate the same situation over and over again, even if you manage to temporarily change it. It’s also been proven the people who win the lottery generally suffer from enormous stress. Just as you said, their resistance is amplified. Money = energy and when you increase the energy in your life, everything gets bigger. Even, and especially, the ugly bits.
Huge hugs,
Melody
Great reminder!
I usually just need to find what resonates with me, the issue which clicks, to get the ball rolling.
As a want a villa with a huge piece of land rather centrally located, nothing seems to resonate wiht me. What am I gonna do? I´ve searched the internet for villas and found some interesting items, but they don´t resonate with me. So I continue to find the item which clicks with me, and afterwards plan to focus on receiving it (as a have no means yet to provide for it, I have to find something with a strong resonance first, I guess, otherwise it´s gonna be a when pigs fly issue).
Acutally yesterday I managed to release my demand for the ideal property (the feeling of realization was quite weak though), and today I received a call from someone who lives in a preferred area and invited me to her home. Though still feeling lightyears away from my desire, I feel delighted that I received an answer equivalent to my call.
(I should probably work on my aversion against staff and financial bureaucracy linked to my desire. And hunky servants take long bathing sessions in your panelled luxury bathroom while you are out, you know..)
Wow Sara,
That’s fantastic how quickly you manifested a precursor as soon as you released a bit of your resistance. I grew up with the same aversion, but finally broke down and got a cleaning lady the last year of my corporate job. And you know what? I regretted not doing it years earlier. It was bliss to come home to a completely clean house and not have to do any of it myself. I can only imagine what it would be like to come home to a cooked meal, to be driven everywhere (ok, I can totally imagine that. I take a lot of taxis), and have long, Jacuzzi conversations with the Australian gardener about the, um, philosophical implications of planting roses next to gardenias. Or something. And as long as the servants are hunky, they can have as many bathing sessions as they want. 😉
Hugs!
Melody
Thank you for this article. I strongly believe in the laws of attraction after reading the Secret. 🙂 I enjoyed reading this and look forward to more posts.
Hi Rochelle,
Thanks so much for your comment. 🙂
Hugs,
Melody
Goals:
1. Kill all Jews.
2. Solve all problems by killing all Jews.
3. Rejoice.
I think your goals have to be somewhat non-psychopathic–well, let me rephrase that. They don’t HAVE to be, but if they aren’t, the achievement is likely to be tainted by things like Allied bombings and invasions. So, I guess a sub step would be–don’t be a friggin psychopath in the formulation of your goals. One has to think of potential consequences for achieving their goals and make sure the goal set doesn’t entail some sort of unintentional baggage. After all, you can make a million, provided you don’t mind contract killing, but the consequences of contract killing are likely to be unpleasant.
Jeeeeesus Christ!….thank God you followed-up your “goals” with that explanation. I was panicking just reading the opening of your comment! It’s was like a weird mixture of “Oh-kaay…this is awkward” and “Oh-kaaay….someone’s going to hell”.
But you’re right. Though, I don’t think you can really manifest anything durable with that much rage in you. I mean you can, and you’ll probably succeed for a while because psychopaths are always extremely consistent and determined, but it’ll catch up sooner or later. Not karma or anything, but the flipside of your manifestations. I believe our ‘midpoint’ is one of positive feelings and happiness, so manifesting something with evil intent and ill-will is bound to have consequences. If anything, the villain will probably suffer from his own guilt and inner conflicts without even realizing it. Maybe he’ll manifest what he fears most or something. Maybe a racist father will one day find his daughter married to whichever race he hates the most. He’ll have a [insert race] grandson. I’m sure if you focus on something you don’t like that much, you’ll manifest it soon enough.
Either way, he’ll manifest himself getting kicked in the ass somewhere along the line just for being a psycho douchebag.
Ok Joe Bill…
You’ve got a way of making your point in the most controversial way possible… I don’t generally run my posts past the “Would this advice be applicable to Hitler” filter, because, well, someone like Hitler, who is in a place so dark that genocide feels good him, would not ever read this blog. I tailor my advice to the kind of people who will resonate with the info here. If I was writing for psychopaths, I might add some caveats about killing and maiming and kicking puppies and stuff. 😉
So, perhaps naively, it never occurred to me to warn people not to choose goals that could lead them to be 1.) jailed, 2.) maimed by a lynch mob or 3.) smacked about a bit for writing “Kill all Jews” on a happy shiny blog. Just saying… Consequences.
But, just for you, the opening disclaimer of “Don’t be a psychopath”, will henceforth be implied.
Hug (but just a little one. You’re in time out),
Melody
It’s controversial only because Hitler didn’t win. Your info MIGHT just resonate with someone Hitler-like. The Nazi movement, was, after all, steeped in Occultism which matters like the LOA tend to apply to.
The reason I brought the point up was to highlight that there is a responsibility inherent in all this that is not at all “common sense” but that is nonetheless relevant. Desires are many. Methods to satisfy them are many. However, just because something CAN be done, it doesn’t follow that it should be.
However, if the purpose of your blog is to highlight sunshine, I should probably refrain from commenting. It’s not that I don’t like sunshine. (well, okay, I kinda don’t especially when it sunburns me) It’s more that I think if you are going to try to use these things, it behooves one to examine cases where they are both applied “in good ways” and “horrible twisted ways”. You can’t have The Force without a dark side–and usually, that’s the one that sneaks up on people when they least expect it because their intentions were “so good”. If you find something in the “horribly screwed up” that serves as a cautionary tale, I think it is valuable to know that. The worst possible case scenario is to think you are doing something sunshiny when in fact you are doing something terribly screwed up.
I doubt Hitler saw himself as evil for trying to kill out the Jews. He thought he was doing the world a favor. I’m sure all of your readers, to some extent, have an inner Hitler somewhere. I know I do. The best I’ve got is to catch him before he does too much damage–preferably while he’s in action.
So, anyway, it sounds like your goal isn’t that exactly, so I’ll remain over on my blog, along with Hitler. And moonlight.
Well, I suppose the same can be said for chainsaws. Uses for chainsaws are many – you can cut down a tree or chop up a murder victim. Do the makers of chainsaws have to warn people not to kill others? LOL.
I see your point, but I have a different view. You’ll notice that a lot of my info here is designed to raise people’s vibrations and that I advise people to actively do that in almost every post. As you raise your vibration, you get access to better and better feelings and more and more clarity. And as you release more and more resistance, the idea of hurting others moves from “feels better than where I am now” to “Why the hell would I do that?”. It loses it’s appeal. So, the inner Hitler becomes inactive and goes to sleep. In that sense, these techniques have a safeguard. The more you use them, the less you want to kill people and the more you want to just pet a puppy.
Maybe I could use that as a slogan: Deliberate Receiving: If Hitler had read this blog, things would’ve gone very differently…
Or, wait, wait:
Deliberate Receiving: Puts your inner Hitler to sleep. Like a puppy.
Ha!
Yeah… maybe not. Might send the wrong message…
Hi Joe Bill,
I can relate to what you´re writing, and I often feel that there is an important piece missing in our understanding about the LOA – as it is invoked for ultimately justifying everything.
I´ve watched a documentary about “famous” channelers, they have been interviewed and asked crucial questions about the issue you described here. And, as far as I can remember, they answered solidly that there are no victims, just willingly participants, and that the Nazi era has been brought about collectivly by all of us to get the issue of dehumanization on the table, to get us aware of it and ultimately enforce our instincts for humaneness and human dignity. And when the curtain falls, we all go tho heaven, no exceptions, no punishment, no retribution, no amends.
I don´t know about it. I just feel that we have to consider victimization very well, and I guess that there are many questions unanswered yet.
Sara
I think the safest way to know if a certain goal is right or wrong is to see if it directly hurts someone else in the process. At least that’s how I make my decisions and set my goals and how I aim to manifest things. For instance, if your goal is to become the Assistant Vice President of your division at work, don’t do it by sabotaging the current AVP. You’ll climb the ladder off someone else’e misery, which is a douchebag thing to do. With that in mind, I doubt there’ll be any confusion as to if or not your act is “sunshiny” or “screwed up”. If you’re deliberately hurting someone or giving yourself an ultimatum of “my happiness or her’s / his”, I think you’re doing it wrong. No questions asked. One of the most basic things I learned when I got into all this was “there’s an abundance of wealth and happiness to go around”. Sounds like hippy talk, but I’ve found that statement to be insanely true.
I’m sure evil people don’t care about hurting others in the process and will set their goals to “Destroy The World” anyway, but with unresolved inner-conflicts and insecurities like that, they’ll manifest their butts getting whooped at the same time.
So yeah, there’s a duality to everything and power in the wrong hands can lead to disaster. But there’s only one right way to manifest your real goals. In other words, The Force was used to create The Jedi and The Sith, and as badass as some of The Sith are (Darth Maul FTW!), in the end they got their behinds handed to them. You just can’t manifest your goals without manifesting your hatred and ill-will towards yourself at the same time. 🙂
Hey guys,
To me, there aren’t really any “evil” people. There are just people who are in a great deal of pain who lash out at others in order to feel better. You have to be in a pretty dark place for that. But I do my best not to judge. If I’m not in your shoes, how can I judge your goals to be worthy or not? and where does it end? Ok, killing = bad, but how about wanting a new car? Is it ok to use goal setting for that? Some would say no, it’s not “pure” enough. At what point do we draw the line? They point for me is that I can’t really judge the goals of others, nor can I control (or even remotely hope to) what people will do with this information. But if you truly take this information seriously, if you really work on yourself and take responsibility for how you feel, the day will come when the pain subsides and hurting others will no longer be an option. I’m absolutely convinced of that.
And Sara, I would agree with those channelers. There is no judgment after death, no retribution. That’s a human concept, one borne of powerlessness (if I can’t get you back, it makes me feel better to think that God will…) And every experience that everyone has, has been drawn to them by their vibration. They must be a match to that experience, period, whether they know it or not. No exceptions. This isn’t the same as saying that the victim was asking for it, but it does mean that nothing is random.
Who knew that a post on Goal setting would turn into such a deep discussion? 😉
Hugs,
Melody
Thank you for a wonderful, straight-forward article. You simplified what many make to be a complicated process. I especially appreciate your advice of focusing on the goal without worrying about the details. Can you answer a question that will help me and other readers? How much time should we spend each day on visualizing the realization of our desire? I am still unclear about that, as are many others. Thank you : )
Hey Joe!
Actually, the amount of time you spend is not nearly as important as how you feel when you do it. If you have a lot of resistance, for example, you’ll have negative emotion when you try to think of what you want. In that case, it’ll take you more time to work your way into a good feeling place. If you have little resistance, it will take you less time.
If you spend a great deal of time having contradictory thoughts about what you want, then you should spend more time focusing on your desire in a positive way. If you have no resistance, you don’t have to do this exercise at all.
I know that’s not really what you wanted to hear, though, so here’s another answer: You do not need to spend more than 20 minutes a day focusing purely on what you want in a positive way. That would be the max. Generally, 5-10 minutes will bring about rapid changes providing you feel really good when you’re focusing on your goal. Again, if you don’t feel really good, you’ve got some work to do.
I hope that helps. 🙂
Hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody,
Once again, you have made a very confusing process very simple. I was under the impression that I had to constantly stay in the state of mind that would lead me to my desire, or at least stay there for as long as possible. Instead, you’ve confirmed that it’s a matter of quality, not quantity. This makes it much easier, and takes a major burden from me in thinking I need to spend all of that time in necessary thought. Thank you so much for clarifying that. Major blessings to you : )
You’re so welcome Joe. I’m glad I was able to help. 🙂
Hugs!
Melody