I have to say, I am loving the questions I’m getting lately. You people are freaking awesome! Today, Stephanie wants to know: I would like to hear your thoughts on the concept that there are no such things as coincidences. What do you think these circumstances are?

Here’s my answer:

There truly are no coincidences, not in the sense that things just happen randomly, or by chance. Everything that happens is due to the Law of Attraction bringing together matching energy. This is happening whether or not we’re aware of it, which is why events can sometimes seem random. But they’re not.

You create your reality

You are the creator of your own reality. This means that everything in your experience, every object, every person and every event, even the tiniest ones, are a manifestation of yours. Yes, really. So, if the barrista at the coffee shop is friendly to you, that’s a direct reflection of your manifestation. If you’re late for work and your boss is annoyed, that’s a direct reflection of your manifestation. If you get a big raise, that’s a direct manifestation of your vibration. If you have an accident, or step in dog poo, that’sโ€ฆ well, you get the picture. Now, before you drive yourself crazy trying to keep track of all these details (“Why did I step in dog poo?? What does that say about me??), remember that you can clean up a great deal of your vibration by simply focusing on the positives in your life and on feeling good. So stop stressing.

The point is, truly EVERYTHING in your reality has been drawn to you by you. And the same is true for everyone else, as well. And this is where it gets a bit complicated. You see, if the barrista is rude to you, not only does that behavior have to be a vibrational match to you, but she must be a match to that behavior, as well. Everyone has different sides, we can all be in a good mood and in a bad mood, but there are limits. For example, I may get bitchy from time to time, but I seriously doubt that I’ll ever punch someone in the face, no matter how much I’m provoked. And on a day when I’m my happy, shiny, puppy self, there’s really not much anyone could do to elicit a different version of me. So, if I was that barrista, and your vibration was asking for a rude encounter that day, the Law of Attraction could not bring us together. It would have to find someone else to be your mirror, someone who was more willing to play that exact game with you that day.

Now, when you consider that every little detail in everyone’s life has to be a match on both sides (or more!), it gets pretty mindboggling. Luckily, the Law of Attraction can handle it. It can keep track of everyone’s vibration, in real time. If your vibration changes, the LOA will immediately begin to orchestrate a series of “coincidences” and intuitive hits that will guide you to your new match. Only, that analogy isn’t perfect, because it compares the LOA to some outside entity that’s managing everything. That’s a little bit like saying that when you drop a ball, the law of gravity reaches up and pulls it down towards the earth, and that’s not really true.

The Maze

Let’s look at this in another way. We’re all in a really complex Maze. And each of us is given a transceiver, a little handheld device that can send and receive signals. So, there you are, with your little device, and you set it to the frequency of “5”. Now, that transceiver is going to send out that signal, and ONLY that signal. It’s also going to receive the frequency of “5” and nothing else. Everyone around you is also sending and receiving signals. And when your transceiver finds someone else with their device set to “5”, it’s going to turn on its built in GPS and lead you straight to them. It doesn’t matter how far away they are, or how complex the maze is, your little device will tell you exactly where to turn, when to go forward and when to wait, so that you’ll meet up with other people who have set their device to “5”.

You may need a bit of assistance along the way. Perhaps you have to climb up to another level and need a ladder. So, your device leads you to someone who has set their transceiver to “Help the 5’s”. If you take a wrong turn (because you weren’t paying attention to your device), your transceiver will send out a distress call and you’ll meet up with someone who has set their device to “show the 5’s where they’ve gone wrong.”

You always get to choose which signal you want to send and receive, but once you do, you won’t meet up with anyone who’s not a match to that frequency. They will be invisible to you.

Multiple signals

Your brain is that transceiver. It’s constantly sending out and receiving the signals you’ve chosen (even if you didn’t consciously choose them) and guiding you toward people and events that match those signals. Now, of course, we aren’t just ever sending out one signal. We’re a mishmash of many, MANY different frequencies on all kinds of subjects, which is why you could be attracting lots of money (yay!) and horrible love relationships (boo!). It’s never all good or all bad. Changing one frequency to a better one doesn’t necessarily influence the others you’re sending out (although it can), but it does change who and what you meet up with on that particular subject.

The annoying bit

I’m well aware that what I’m saying here could be incredibly annoying. I can hear you asking now, “So, every little thing that happens to me is my own fault?” No. I wouldn’t put it that way. But everything that happens to you is happening in response to your vibration. And that doesn’t have to be annoying, it can be empowering. Think about it. If everything is just sort of happening randomly, then there’s nothing you can do about rude barristas, horrible bosses or poo on your shoe. But if you are the master of your reality, then you can change the signals you’re transmitting until you meet up with friendly service staff, awesome bosses and clean, poo-free streets. It does take a bit of trial and error, just like any new piece of technology you acquire, and unfortunately, there’s no user manual. But once you start to figure it out, your life will never be the same. Tweak a dial here, flip a switch there and watch your reality literally transform around you.

I hope that this post was helpful to you. Share your thoughts in the comments!

If you have a Law of Attraction Question, just hit me up via my Contact Page and ask away. I’ll do my best to answer you ASAP in a blog post or Video.

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  • I just found your site today and I have been going through articles. One gem after another. Thank you so much. I’ve been learning about LOA for a few years now and this is one of the best sites I’ve come across.

    Specifically in this article, the part where you wrote “So, if I was your barista and your vibration was asking for a rude encounter that day…” really got that concept to click in my mind in a new way. Our vibrations really are asking for specific experiences and encounters as we move our day.

    Wonderful. Thanks again.

  • Also staff members have a roster at a place I frequent.

    I often think if LOA defies rosters, then I’d always get my favourite staff member in happy mood no matter what day of week it was.

    Sadly they follow the roster. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Changing one frequency to a better one doesn’t necessarily influence the others you’re sending out (although it can), but it does change who and what you meet up with on that particular subject.

    This contradicts everything you say on your blog about reaching for better feelings.

    What is the point of feeling good in one area if it doesn’t lift the whole thing up???

    Coincidences are too complex. Like the other day I was watching a DVD of my fav slightly obscure (popular but not in this day and age)
    artist and they were playing them on the radio in my friends car when dropping my friend home.
    So they stepped in the door “that’s weird we were just singing to that on the radio”

    So one person couldn’t have created that coincidence as 3 people were involved and a radio station.
    And the second hand store where I found the DVD in the first place.

    • Hey Alice,

      Thanks for pointing this out. I realize that this sentence is not really clear and that I could’ve explained it better.

      Generally speaking, raising our vibration using one subject, does help to raise our vibration on others. And if we weren’t so damn stubborn, that would work perfectly. But, on the big subjects, in my experience at least, when someone raises their vibration on one subject, it doesn’t necessarily just fix everything.

      Let’s say that you’re really worried about money. So you use a different subject to feel better. But when you look at money, you get sucked right back down. That’s because you’ve got a lot of momentum going on the belief that you don’t have enough money. In that case, raising your vibration didn’t just magically release all resistance. It would, eventually, if you could stay off the subject of money long enough, but most people can’t, when it comes to the subjects that are really important and/or painful to them.

      In that case, raising your vibration would be a good first step, which would support you in then raising your money vibration by approaching it in a really general way and raising it at that level. It makes it easier and actually makes it much more possible to shift your vibration on a subject that’s mired in resistance.

      I hope that makes sense. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • Dear Melody,
    This is the first time I’ve read your blog…..believe me…I’ve no words to put for the way you explain it in a very simpler and easy language…I am practicing spirituality since 2 yrs..and I keep reading many books on similar topics of LOA….I am a follower of Louise Hay….she is wonderful…while practicing I used to come across many queries….I am going through a very bad patch now…I am able to keep myself balanced…but many questions were bothering me…and I was in search of some one who could clear my confusion…and here I come across you….I feel my search is over now…I am going to get a complete satisfactory explanation from you…..I feel this will help many other women get their doubts clear…or may be you must’ve cleared it in your other articles…I am so excited to go through all your articles….:)
    My query is how would you explain the invitation of extra marital affairs according to LOA…this has happened in my 26 yrs of married life twice….I want to understand where did my vibrations go wrong…???? It was a love marriage…eloped from my house…blessed with 2 handsome sons….we had a big communication gap….I was very very open in expressing/behaving…n he was a secretive person which I realised very late in life….I kept working on our relationship for many years and was longing and waiting for his love and care….but suddenly I understood that he quietly walked out of my life with other lady without even saying good bye to me…..there’s 23 yrs of gap in between his 2 extra-marital affairs….at times I go into guilt that I’ve created such life…please help me….here I want to understand where did my transceiver go wrong….when I was constantly focusing on my husband n trying to send it to him….n he caught the other frequency….?????

    • My dear Kamal,

      Thank you so much for having the courage to reach out. I’m so glad that my site is helpful to you and is bringing you some clarity.

      Your vibration did not go “wrong”. You did attract your part of this experience to you, but not by doing something wrong. I started writing out an answer, but realized that I have so much to say, I’d better make it into a blog post. Plus, I think this subject is one that is relevant to a lot of people. I have a couple of other posts in the pipeline, so this will come out next Thursday or Sunday. Until then, understand that your transceiver didn’t go wrong. You had a bit of a “messy” frequency – you weren’t aware of what you were tuned to, and your manifestations simply showed you. That’s all. Your husband mirrored this vibration back to you, giving you an opportunity to adjust your energy, which you can now do. The fact that he has gravitated out of your life shows me that you’ve already made some adjustments. Instead of beating up on yourself for attracting a growth experience (and trust me, I’ve attracted a few painful ones myself, so I’m aware that it takes some time before you can see it that way…), look forward. This past relationship had a few elements that you didn’t like. What is it that you DO want? What has this helped you to define, in terms of how you want a man to relate to you?

      Wait for the blog post – I’ll be able to explain all of this so much better in that format. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Huge hugs to you!

  • My dear Melody,

    I’d vote for you a thousand times but sadly.. I can’t. I’m just one person, you know?
    Well, we DO create our reality, that’s for sure! I am feeling on a roll with my blog lately.
    Sure, I do still fall into compare – land and get all issuey and sad but I bounce myself back up. That is really all that’s required.

    This must surely mean that I am on a good vibration bloggially. Must focus on my self – confidence, even though it is sit — oh no, I am going off a tangent again. Why do your posts always make me think?

    • Oh thank you Sol. No worries about the voting. It’s just a bit of fun. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Blogially – *snort* I love it. My posts are designed to make you think sweetie. What, you thought I was here only for entertainment? LOL. Of course, we all have our highs and lows. Life wouldn’t be any fun if we didn’t. As long as you find your way back up, you’re doing it right. ๐Ÿ˜€ (And you are. You’re a total ray of sunshine!)

      Huge hugs to you,


  • Hi Melody, great article!
    The basics are so important to understand!

    And as you always point to the belief (system) underlying our prevalent vibrational state, it gives us direction to figure out our present choices and change them according new preferences possibly.

    Often the most difficult part for me is to find out what lies behind all of this, at the root. How did it come that I made certain choices in the past, where do my real fears lie (resp. my fallacies)? Whatยดs right and true for me?
    And as I only can find out about this energetically (my intellect can only assist but not gage anything), I have to try out many things at least in my imagination, until I hit on sth. which clicks with me.
    But then itยดs done already, Iยดve aligned with my source(s next step), and can lay back to receive the result.

    I hate these situations in my life, when I feel a great deal of fear, and donยดt seem to be able to “find the solution” for me, prior to the situation. Then my body aches, I feel humiliated in advance, as I know Iยดm a match to my fear, and will encounter the kind. These situations are a hard nut to crack for me, as they feed on my illusions about helplessness and outer causes.
    We need to know especially about those situations in our lifes, to set us free again.

    What is the Law actually called, which gives supply when needed the most? There must be one!

    • Hi Sara,

      That’s the challenge for all of us – figuring out the root. Especially if we’ve been carrying something around with us for along time. We’re so used to the “off” feeling it gives that we no longer notice it. It’s just normal. And then we go looking for a boogie man, a huge problem, while the “issue” is something that doesn’t seem big at all, because it’s an old friend. But follow the way you feel and you can find it. Your inner being will always help you.

      Well, I would call it the law of attraction, because I lump everything in together. To me, it’s all part of the same law. But many would isolate that as the law of allowing. You don’t get what you need when you most need it, but you often allow what you most need in at the last possible second. the same principles still apply, I’m afraid. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  • Hi Melody,
    Thank you for the simplicity you present..I believe that I am the creator of the moment I am in…and when I want to change external, I change my vibration. Some think it’s easier to ‘blame’ external, but I know the ways to raise my vibration…it’s a matter of being aware and focused.

    • Hi Joy,

      You’re so welcome. And I’m glad you found your way here. ๐Ÿ™‚
      It IS easier to blame our external circumstances, but it doesn’t help us at all. If we want to change our reality, we have to take responsibility. The great thing is that it’s only scary at first. Because it’s not about blame at all, and we tend to figure that out pretty quickly. It’s about realizing that we have much more control than we think, just not in the way we’ve always thought. We can’t change people and circumstances in order to feel better. But we can change the way we feel to affect people and circumstances.

      Huge hugs!

  • I have to remember to tweak the unpleasant, I often just remain in blame myself…

    I so enjoy those meshy feelings of coincidence though – like that is affirming that I am on the right track….

    It is rather like all the women in the dorm getting their cycles at the same time and on the weeks that the female custodians are working…vibrations

    • Ha, ha, Patricia. Yep, we do have the ability to be influenced by other people’s vibrations (the cycle thing). And I also love the meshy feeling (love that) of things coming together perfectly. It always gives me this moment of, well, almost a surreal feeling. Like I’m not quite tethered to reality, where I get just a glimpse of a much bigger picture. Love it!!

      Huge hugs to you (and it’s no coincidence that you’re here!)


  • Hi Melody,

    What an interesting post. This is why I try to send out a great, fun vibe out to the world. So far it has made things better for me since I feel like I’m getting a good response from the world around me. Plus, thinking in a positive manner makes me feel better. I didn’t realize that it had such a positive effect on everything such as coincidences. I’ll have to watch out for those bad vibes so I don’t get any rude behavior from people.

    • Hi Steve,

      You have a great energy. It’s evident in your blog and comments. I’m sure you mostly have a fantastic time! ๐Ÿ˜€

      We get back what we put out. It really is that simple (well… mostly). If you do get rude behavior, just take a deep breath, and reset. Think of happy shiny puppies. That works for me. And your reality will immediately show you if you’ve been successful in adjusting your vibration.

      Hugs! (This would be a good sign. He, he)

  • I just can’t believe in the Law Of Attraction having as much influence as you have given it. Maybe I have misunderstood, but I am not responsible for every thing that happens to me.

    For example, that story I mentioned during our hangout about 9-11. I bear no responsibility for the terrorists or the events that happened afterwards. Nor do I feel any sort of accountability for being employed by a company in which the owners started suing each other.

    But if I understand your post it sounds like you would disagree with that and say that my energy pulled me into those situations. Is that accurate or have I misunderstood? I am in dire need of a cup of Joe so it really could be me.

    • Hiya Jack!

      Thanks so much for stopping by.

      I wouldn’t actually disagree with you. You did not make the 9-11 attacks happen, nor did you turn the owners of the company into assholes. Oh yeah, I say assholes on my blog… However, (and this is from my view, I have no need for you to agree with me), you did mach up with the experience and more importantly, HOW you experienced it. For example, there are tragedies happening in the world every day. Some people are really affected by them (let’s leave the ones who are actually in the tragedies out of it for a moment). They hear about something on the news and they feel awful, almost as if they’d been in the middle of it. Some people hear about it, but are ok about. Some others are only marginally aware and still others don’t even know that this tragedy took place.

      How you reacted to what happened and how you felt about it is a mirror to what’s going on inside you. That’s not at all the same thing as saying that you created those events. These things were going to happen, with or without you. But because you were a match, you experienced them the way that you did.

      I hope that makes sense. Again, you don’t have to agree, but I just wanted to clarify my position. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • Another fabulous post, Melody. I love each of your metaphors (my favourite is the reversing car warning sounds), they really help bring this message home.

    Most of all, it is truly important to feel empowered once you discover how you truly are the craftsman, the architect, the designer of the *essence* of your reality. When I first grasped this I began to beat up on myself for all the junk that was in my life! But no, I *can* change things (and have, in a big way!) and knowing that you truly can attract supportive bosses, clean streets and encouraging service really is empowering.

    • Hi Peter!

      Thanks so much for your feedback. I’m really glad the metaphors speak to you. I’m a very visual thinker, so I tend to translate everything into images…

      It SHOULD be empowering!! Unfortunately, it often takes a bit of time to see it that way at first, but once we do, the whole world opens up.

      Huge hugs,

  • Hi Melody! Hope you and everyone are having a lovely day. What an uplifting post – thank you!

    Cool example of this principle in my salsa class. There’s a young man who smiles a lot, and we’ve become informal partners, mostly because we both enjoy ourselves so much. We must look really cheesy, grinning away as we somewhat ineptly swoop and turn. Now he’s trying to get another woman in the class to smile more. Trouble is, he’s bugging her so much to smile, she’s taken to making stink-faces at us, and we all end up laughing. The simplest, clearest example for me of like attracting like is how smiles create smiles create smiles.


    Mary Carol

    • Ahaha, I love it!! You and this young man are definitely on the same wavelength. And it’s a perfect example of how when someone is not a vibrational match, you can’t force them to come up and meet you. You’ll just end up annoying them, hence the stinky face. ๐Ÿ˜€

      I often put myself in a really smiley mood before I got out and then I look for the smiley people the Universe brings to me. It’s a really fun game.


  • Hey Melody,
    I had one of those LOA experiences during Thanksgiving this year. I was in a particular low vibe state that day due to lack of rest and the hostess (relative) was in a low vibe state because she has to sell her home for financial reasons.

    Nothing major happened but the two of us had some “bad vibes” going back and forth between us energetically. When things like this happen (unpleasant interactions) to me I just look at it as a reminder that I need to “clean up my vibes.”

    take care…

  • wow…this post is so clear and inspiring! I love the transceiver metaphor. And we all know you are “help the (insert #)’s on their way”. I can’t get over how this just resonated with me. You truly give us the tools to take charge/accountability/responsibility/etc for our own experiences. I LOVE IT!

    I love how everything is truly a mirror of where we are. There is no good or bad just mirrored indications of our thoughts and beliefs. A mirror merely allows you to see yourself and enhance or continue what you like and adjust what you don’t like..

    Yes, keep ’em comin’ Melody!

    • Hey Kim!

      So glad this post resonated with you so deeply. I was rather proud of myself for the metaphor and was really hoping other people would click with it as well. Judging by the comments, I needn’t have worried. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Don’t you worry chica. Just try to shut me up.


  • Actually, we are best friends, and who said I have progressed beyond my teenage years………..

    I tried; I’m already going to take Kaarina’s idea to market in the US and thought I could pull yours in as well. You can never have too many eggs in the basket, huh? Plus, I thought we were all like friends now or something.

    Do you think a lethal hug would make your eyes pop out, or just mess in your drawers?

  • I was paying attention to my device trying to find the right harmony but then someone walked in my office and it created an awkward moment; how can that be sexual harassment, my door was closed?

    Interesting perspective on this subject; I’ve never really thought that deeply about it. However, I do feel your aura, mindset or the way you project, has an influence on the things that happen in your life.

    I’d be interested in hearing your story someday, why you feel so strongly about this (what flipped the switch) and what you are doing to grow in this spiritual awakening.

    • Yeah… sounds like you missed the mark a little. Like I said, no user manual… You must have hit the “walk in on me while I’m doing awkward stuff” setting. Most boys learn to avoid that during their teenage years, but… well, everyone in their own time, eh Bill? ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Wow. I made you think deep thoughts. I’m so damn proud of myself right now. And slightly unnerved. It’s a damn good story, Bill. I could tell you, but then I’d have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement so you couldn’t sell it to Hollywood behind my back. That, or kill you. I’d give you a choice. Because I’m sweet like that. You’re welcome.

      Hugs (possibly lethal hugs),

  • Often, ‘unfortunate’ things happen in my life and wonder “why me?” When I catch myself in that mode, I remind myself that everything is a reflection. What you put out is what you get back, as Bashar puts it.

    • Hi Jim,

      Exactly. It’s so freeing when you finally realize that everything really is just a mirror of your vibration. Change the vibration = change the reflection. God, I love this work. ๐Ÿ™‚


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