I’ve got another juicy question from one my readers today, something that I think all single people who are looking for love can relate to.

Michelle asks:

I am trying to manifest a relationship into my life, or rather, I AM manifesting a relationship into my life (all about the positive thinking here!)

I know it’s not going to happen to me if I sit on my sofa…but my social life does not foster the sort of opportunities that would generate meeting someone ..,i.e., I don’t want to hang in bars, etc., so tend to catch up with friends for quiet dinners, etc.

What should I do? Continue as I am, trusting that it will happen and enjoying life until it does, even though not in typical ‘meeting people’ type scenarios? Or push myself out there more, going to singles events, etc., even though it’s not something I enjoy doing? Should I go on that skiing holiday to meet more single men? Or do the beach yoga retreat – no men, but would enjoy it a lot more? Any thoughts would be great!

Here’s my answer:

There’s a fallacy that most of us subscribe to in one way or another, and that is, that we have to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. The more important a subject is to us, the more we tend to fall back into this trap, even if we’ve done major work on getting into the state of allowing.

You’re probably got your mother’s voice in your ear: “You’re not getting any younger. Men don’t grow on trees, you know. You’re running out of time. Go find someone while you’re still young and attractive enough…”, and all kinds of other, fear based beliefs that are adding to the pressure to get out there find Mr. Right already.

You’re not running out of time

The speed with which you’ll attract Mr. Right has nothing to do with how old you are, how long you’ve been looking, how attractive you are (yes, really), where you live, or if you go skiing or hit the Yoga retreat. It has everything to do with how long it takes you to align yourself with the energy of what you want. You can do that when you’re 18 or 80, a supermodel or Quasimodo, a party girl or a spinster who anthropomorphizes her sixteen cats, dresses them up in little outfits and hosts dinner parties for them (suddenly not feeling so pathetic, are we?). And aligning with the energy of what you want does NOT mean forcing yourself to do things you don’t enjoy.

Now, I know that we’ve all heard the stories of the single, middle aged woman who was a total shut in, workaholic nomad, who forced herself to go on a singles cruise and lo and behold, met the man of her dreams. I promise you that it wasn’t the fact that she went on the cruise that allowed her to meet Mr. Right, but the energy she shifted when she went from hopeless and resigned to being single forever, to acknowledging the possibility that she could still meet someone (which allowed her to overcome her fear and take the cruise). It’s an energy thing, every time.

So…you don’t have to leave the house?

Theoretically speaking, no. It’s entirely possible to meet Mr. Right without leaving the house. HOWEVER (big however), practically speaking, none of us have an entirely squeaky clean vibration. We all have resistance, which is not part of the theoretical model. I mean, theoretically speaking, I could win the lottery tomorrow. But I may not want to give up my day job just yet, in anticipation of the millions rolling in. When you’re overcoming resistance, it makes sense not to limit the Universe too much in terms of ways in which it could bring your manifestation to you.

If you never leave the house, the Universe has to find a way to bring Mr. Right to your doorstep. That’s fine, as long as you have NO resistance to that happening. But how likely is it that you have no beliefs whatsoever that will contradict and therefore block that scenario? Have you ever heard yourself say “I know it’s not going to happen to me if I sit on my sofa”? (Trick question…)

Don’t go out to meet men

So yes, it’s a good idea to leave the house and get out there. But don’t go out with the express purpose of meeting men. Go out with the express purpose of having the time of your life. Why? Because when you’re having fun and feeling good, you are aligning your energy with the frequency of what you want, and THAT’S what’s going to allow Mr. Right to finally be delivered. That’s how you open the door.

Also, from a completely pragmatic point of view: If you go out and do the activities you enjoy, it’ll make it a lot more likely that you’ll meet a man who also enjoys those activities. If you love Yoga, wouldn’t it be great to meet a man who also loves Yoga? And who said that there are no men at Yoga retreats? That’s nothing but a belief (and as long as you believe it, you’re not going to meet up with any men at Yoga. At least not any straight ones). There are plenty of straight, awesome men out there who love Yoga (and, um, often have amazing bodies. Just saying…) I invite all straight, Yoga loving men in my reading audience to leave a comment and show Michelle that you exist. Attaching pictures will get you extra points. 😉

Stop trying to control the process and let the Universe do its job

The Universe can bring you your delivery in an infinite number of ways. Like I said, it can bring Mr. Right to your doorstep, if it has to. The only one limiting these delivery paths is you.

When you have thoughts such as, “I can’t meet a man at a Yoga retreat”, you close that door. And besides, how do you really know for sure, that an amazing guy couldn’t be there waiting for you? Or, perhaps you’ll meet your new best friend at this Yoga retreat. And through a series of events, you meet her neighbor, who just happens to be this amazing, single man. Huh. Couldn’t have foreseen that, now could you?  Or, you get stopped by a cop on the way to the Yoga retreat, because you were listening to happy music and singing and not realizing that you were going a bit too fast. The cop is adorable and single and lets you off with a warning but takes your phone number.

Do you see how your decision to go and do something that you love could open up all kinds of doors leading to your manifestation? Just make sure that you don’t close those doors by thinking “Well, that’s never going to happen”.

The bottom line is: yes, leave the house, but do so to go and do the stuff that makes you happy and rings your bells. Don’t go out there looking for men, and then being disappointed when you don’t find them. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job. Your job is to go and feel good, to be happy, to follow your intuition and to allow the Universe to bring you the perfect manifestation in whichever way is easiest for you to accept. So, try to allow as many ways as possible.

Was this post helpful to you? Share in the comments! Also, if you’re a straight, hot, yoga lovin’ dude, make sure you speak up. Trust me, there are tons of women out there who don’t quite believe that you exist. Consider it a public service.

Would you like some help releasing the limiting beliefs you have? Check out how you can Work With Me personally.