This is the second video in my little series on negative emotions.
Last week, I explained that our emotions are indicators that let us know if what we’re thinking in any given moment is pushing us closer to what we want or pulling us further away from what we want. If our thoughts are pulling us further away from what we want, we experience negative emotion. So, negative emotion isn’t something to be squashed or avoided. It’s actually a very useful messenger.
In today’s video, I’d like to focus on something called a sense of entitlement. When we think of someone with a sense of entitlement, we think of someone like Paris Hilton – someone very demanding and kind of bratty. In its pure form, however, a sense of entitlement is simply a positive expectation. “I expect that things are going to work out for me. I expect to get what I want and I fully feel that I deserve it.” Now, if you know anything about the Law of Attraction, you’ll know that this is the exact state you want to be in, in order to get what you want. In this state, you’re not contradicting what it is that you want.
So, why is it that we have such a negative reaction to a sense of entitlement? Well, we don’t – not to a sense of entitlement in its pure form. But we do have a negative reaction to it, when it’s coupled with a control issue. This means that if I have this kind of sense of entitlement, I fully expect to get what I want, I feel that I deserve it, and I’ve decided that I’m going to get what I want through you. Now, that thought has a little bit of a different feel to it.
Let’s say that you’ve set the intention to manifest ABC. Somewhere out there in the Universe is someone who has set the intention to provide ABC. The Law of Attraction brings the two of you together, and in that meeting, both of you get exactly what you want. It’s perfect co-creation and when this happens, it’s easy. There are no demands, there’s no pushing; no one has to make anything happen.
However, when you, having intended to find ABC, decide not to wait for that person who’s a perfect match to that intention, but rather choose whoever is closest to you and demand that THEY provide ABC, even though they’re not an energetic match to it, we get a lot of negative emotion. There’s vibrational discord.
Basically, when you have this negative sense of entitlement, you’ve decided not to leave it up to the Universe with its infinite resources, but that what you want has to come through a certain person, event or circumstance.
Think of a mother with small children who would like more time for herself. She’s decided that the only way this can come about is if her mother, the grandmother, babysits for her. She expects and demands that her mother help her. Now, if the grandmother isn’t a perfect vibrational match to fulfilling that request, this situation is going to cause resentment.
If an employee who wants more money decides that this money MUST come from his boss and walks into his boss’ office and demands a raise, but the company and/or boss aren’t actually a vibrational match to providing that money, then chances are that not only will the raise be denied, but the employee will be seen in a worse light for having been so demanding. The discord created by trying to make someone provide something they aren’t a match to will cause negative emotion. Whereas, when you have a vibrational match, no one has to demand anything. Things just line up and happen easily.
So, if you find yourself frustrated that people don’t seem to be playing along with what you’re expecting, you probably have a negative sense of entitlement. You have a lot of desire going and you’re almost a match to what you want, but you’ve decided that you know better than the Universe and that what you want will have to come to you in a very specific way, instead of allowing it come to you through the best possible avenue. So, just back off a little bit.
If you’re the “victim” of someone who has this negative sense of entitlement, then realize that they simply have a misunderstanding of how the Universe works and how we manifest. If they’re open to it, you can explain it to them. Otherwise, just understand that they’ve simply decided that what they want has to come through you, but that you have no obligation to provide it to them, if you’re not an energetic match. In fact, you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you forced yourself to give them what they want out of obligation or to make them go away.
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Was this video helpful to you? Have you ever had this negative sense of entitlement, or have you been on the receiving end of someone who did? How did you deal with it?
Wow! This is great. I’ve never heard this said so clearly. Wonderful! Thanks, Melody.
I’m just going through the archives now I’ve gone picking out articles by name, I’m just finishing your blog like a book. Then bookmarking the good ones that I’ll read again.
So I watched this thinking I don’t have a sense of entittlement. But now I know I do in the sense of getting driving lessons. I’ve spent a looong time trying to afford them, make the time or currently- get a friend to give me free ones. I’m in my 20s and can’t drive. It annoys the hell out of me so I’ve baggered people repeatedly to help me and get disappointed when they flake out or cancel lessons.
Now I know what’s going on. There’s another answer in unexpected place. If I lined up with the energy or got happy then someone else would gladly offer the lessons- not the people I’m asking.
Bingo Alice! Well done! 🙂
Definitely a great point here. Expecting what we want from the universe and expecting for what we want by demanding it from a specific person or situation that is not a match is a big mistake. However, so many of us are doing this all the time.
But it doesn’t really work and just tends to piss people around us off. Much better to just let the Universe handle it.
Thank you so much. I understand and it makes complete sense. You said, ” Generally, this means healing the thought at a level that the child who made the decision about herself years ago can understand”. This feels of key importance to me. I will be thinking about this. I love that you stated I can use arguments and discussions as a way to shift a lot of issues. Somehow, internally I have known this is true but when it comes to it, I have struggled profoundly in actually making this shift. I think your point about the child who made the decision will definitely need to come into play. Thank you for your insight <3
You’re so welcome Kimmie. We have to remember that our moments of discomfort are full of helpful messages. That’s their only purpose. And the more we pay attention to those, the less discomfort we experience. 🙂
I feel blessed; expect good; a ‘why not me’ attitude. I would say much more good happens to me than not; and if the bad is happening, maybe I’m not paying that much attention to it. It is also keeping things in perspective and not getting hung up on things that really aren’t important in the big scheme of things.
It gets me through the day…….
That’s wonderful Bill! This is why good crap happens to you – because you expect it and you’re open to it actually showing up. There is a method to your madness. 🙂
Good crap is good crap, huh?
It’s ALL good, Bill. Crap and otherwise. 😀
I think it’s so cool how you make LOA concepts that I’ve struggled to truly understand perfectly clear. I’ve felt entitled to know and understand all aspects of the LOA and exactly how to implement them – but haven’t quite nailed it yet. Until I met you. Obviously you’ve what I had to wait for! 🙂
My negative sense of entitlement is what had me drowning in debt for most of my life. I felt that I deserved pretty much whatever I wanted and the money should just be there. Well the money wasn’t always there so the debt came to the rescue. I’ve finally learned some lessons and can wait for the right time. When I wait I usually end of skipping the purchase because the want/”need” dissipates. If it’s meant to be, I usually end up getting a deal.
Thanks for making this all so clear! Love the video!
Oh Paige. You’re so welcome. I’m so glad this video was helpful to you. Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback. It all essentially comes down to our ability to allow the good stuff we want into our realities. And allowing feels good, and easy and relaxed. It feels much more like a vacation on the beach than working. We can’t make allowing happen, we have to let it happen. Whenever we try to control the process, we just get in the way. 🙂
Huge hugs to you!
It certainly is no mistake that I read this article on the day I read it 🙂 I have been struggling with a situation with my partner. I won’t go into detail but basically there have been 3 or 4 things that I have communicated with him about that I feel he has not listened to. I communicate with others very well and always state what is occurring within me (for example, when “this” happens I feel unimportant, etc). I didn’t realize until reading this that I felt “entitled” to certain things 🙂 I have a couple of questions I am wondering if you might be able to help with. 1)At what point after I have communicated my feelings about something is it healthy or unhealthy to communicate again? (Not sure if you can give me insight on this). 2)A FAR more important question would be how do I handle these feelings of entitlement within myself? If I feel I want to be valued and loved by being listened to (I guess that is me putting my conditions on HOW this happens) by my partner, in what ways could I fulfill this myself? We were able to work these things out by talking about them, but the next time this situation rolls around I would like to know how to I work with this, WITHIN myself, than WITHOUT….
It’s ok to feel entitled. The issues arise when you try to control where the stuff that you feel entitled to comes from. 🙂
Ok, so when you communicate what you want and you don’t get it, communicating it again isn’t going to help. The feedback that you actually received is that you haven’t changed your energy. Sometimes asking outright for what you want can help you shift your energy, but if it didn’t, then asking louder or more often isn’t going to help. You have to figure out what it is that you’re actually asking for and then find a way to achieve the feeling of it.
So, if you want to feel valued and loved, the key is to figure out why you don’t feel valued and loved and shift that. At some point in your life, you made a decision that you weren’t valuable. You have to heal the energy of that. Generally, this means healing the thought at a level that the child who made the decision about herself years ago can understand (teensy bit hard to explain in a comment, lol).
You can use your “arguments” and discussions to shift a lof of issues. For example, if something your husband did triggered you, you can then go back and figure out what exactly was triggered and why, then change that belief. That way, issue by issue, you are “fixing” your vibration and that can add up quickly.
I hope that all makes sense. If not, let me know. I tried to pack A LOT of info into this and some of this has to be experienced to be fully understood. 🙂
Another great article to remind me why I check this blog every single day. No, I’m not exaggerating. You’re in my Favorites list. 🙂
As usual, I tie most issues to relationships because they involve two people, making things complicated, to say the least. This type of “sense of entitlement” mainly works in such scenarios. Couples expect or feel they’re entitled to everything from the other partner. How should someone in a steady relationship use the LOA if he / she / both feels they’re victims of this “sense of entitlement”? Like, if people knew this beforehand, it’s a different scenario. But what if two people who are married or who are deep into a relationship find out that their expectations aren’t being met / too much is being expected of them want to use this method or use the LOA to make the relationship better?
Would love to hear your answer, as always. 🙂
Wow! I’m honored! *blush*
Ok, you can’t control your partner, so take that out of the equation right now. You can only control how you react and feel, so let’s work on that. If you feel that your expectations aren’t met, you can use that as an excuse to feel bad, make passive aggressive remarks and start fights, or you can work on your expectations, figure out what you REALLY want and allow the Universe to bring it to you.
You can also ask for (not demand) what you REALLY want. This means that first, you have to figure out what you want. For example, let’s say that you have an expectation that your girlfriend buys you a certain CD for your birthday. You’ve been dropping hints for ages. If she loves you, she will buy you this CD. Well, she ends up giving you something else, maybe even a totally sucky gift and you feel devastated. You take this to mean that she doesn’t love you. The gift is unimportant. the real issue is that you feel unloved and you’ve decided to make this gift represent her love to you, which is ridiculous when you really think about it. The key is to recognize that your expectation is false and that what you really want is to feel loved. But that starts with you.
You can work on your self-worth issues to fix that, but that may take a bit of time. In the meantime, you could also just ask your girlfriend to buy you the CD for Christmas, or whatever. BTW – expecting people to be psychic in order to prove their love is a common belief. It’s illogical but very, very common.
It all starts with self-awareness. The other person doesn’t really factor into it.
I hope that helps.
You explained this very well, I fall into entitlement more than I thought I did. Sometimes when I do something for someone I think I should get x back from them. I used to think of that as demanding…but your right…entitlement is “the world owes me.”
Thanks so much. We all do, don’t we? In the end, I think it all comes down to a need to try and control things that we can never control. And that leads to frustration and all kinds of ugliness. We all just need to relax and chill a bit more. 🙂
It is important to recognize that anything and everything you could possible desire already exists in the ‘cosmic bank.’ Just as a chunk of wood can be a lion, a vase, an eagle, a child’s toy, the energy for everything is all around you. The problem is that most don’t understand they have an account in the bank and, there are no check fees, no withdrawal fees and no hidden charges. It’s there for the asking. It is the lack of belief in this truth that keeps the check book concealed. It is years ‘I’m not worthy, the world’s against me, bad luck follows me, no one cares, they won’t let me…worn out dogma and memes that make you drive past the bank, thinking there is nothing there for you. The doors are open 24/7, know-don’t hope or just believe-that your credit has no limits.
I love this metaphor! It’s so true. When you tell most people they have an unlimited bank account, the first thing they’ll ask is “What’s the catch?” We have been conditioned not to believe in our own unlimited potential. And yet, it really is that simple. We ask, it’s given, and as soon as we let it in, we get it. Why do we insist on having to pay dues? 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom here.
I found that having positive entitlements are very helpful – it is this sense of knowing that something is going to happen, it is only unsure in which form it is going to happen.
However, there are also many situations that I cannot sense it – is this for me or not? I try to influence it by using techniques such as affirmations and in general it works – not always. Being aware of my own emotions – both negative and positive are the best way for me to keep in balance and get answers to the questions: ‘what do I need’ and ‘what do I deserve?”
Thanks for sharing
That’s what it all comes down to: being aware of your own emotions. Trusting your own guidance. When we can (re)learn to do that, we’re home free. 🙂
Happy one year bloggaversary Mel. I also liked the Negative Emotions …A sense of entitlement. Funny swipe at Paris. I found this helpful and useful. Your getting ever better at this. Keep it up!
Thanks so much Blue! I’m really enjoying the videos and getting more and more comfortable. Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. 🙂
Hey Awesome Melody,
What a timing of your new series. I can say I have perfect match with you since day one. I got all that I needed from you that too most of the time without asking it.
How I deal with it: generally I don’t give up easily but, that doesn’t mean I force to get what I want from some one (its not easy every time). I try to find out the best possible way to get things done. Find alternate believing that there is always better way or there is more room for scope.
Hope I do it right 🙂
Thanks for the super sexy series.
Huge Hugs and Huge Love,
Ha, ha, thanks Sameer. I didn’t know my series was “sexy”, but I’ll take it. Woohoo. 🙂
If you can open your mind up to the infinite number of possibilities, in other words, if you can be ok with not knowing exactly how something will come and allow it come in whatever way is easiest, then you’re working WITH the Universe (and yourself). So, the more possibilities you’re open to, the better. 🙂
Another great video! You touched on something that is a huge issue for me and probably for most people working with LOA — trying to figure out the channels or expecting they must come in certain ways. I understand the idea that we cannot know how it will manifest, but fully embracing the idea is a challenge. That darn logical part of our minds — surely has its place but not in creating our dream lives! Again, love your stuff. It has really been helping me through a rough patch and I feel things turning around and your wisdom was a big part of that!
Thanks so much Kelli! I feel honored that my writings have been a part of your growth. You know, if this stuff was easy to DO then we’d all be doing it, right? Easy to understand but sometimes kind of a b**ch to implement. 😀 Stay focused on the good, chica!
Thank you for explaining what the sense of entitlement means and how to expect yet not be in control of it. You have provided many examples which makes things easier to understand. Also, love the video that went along with the post. The visual element certainly has helped you bring your message across!
Thanks so much Evelyn! I love doing the videos. They’re more time consuming but some things are just so much easier to explain in person. 🙂
Wow I have never felt entitled – I can not count a single time, until now…
I was expecting the Universe to help me pay off the last $200K on my child’s surgery, but I keep interfering with that expectation and that is why WISE EARS is feeling like work.
I have always expected every penny to come from my hard work and I just can not seem to work hard enough or well enough…today I was thinking since my blogs are not paying well enough I need to organize a huge fundraiser? and as I scrubbed the new oven clean, I wondered how me myself and I was going to pay for it…
I did enjoy cleaning it ( it is shiny blue inside)
I think my husband has lost his sense of entitlement because he is feeling OLD…
Neither of us can work hard enough or make enough money so it brings up our fear of ending up on the streets.
So now we are thinking about selling the piano and the tandem bike and the kayak…
IT just puts one into a rut that goes on and on and on…
I am going to quit my job with the wellness company – they just violated my values with a huge donation to a political candidate as a corporation, the candidate hates women and supporting women’s health care….I just wrote the letter I’m out of there
Now I am really unemployed 🙂
Wow Patricia. That’s a powerful realization. You’ve been putting so much pressure on your little business. No wonder that didn’t feel good. You may not know all the different ways that money can come to you, but the Unvierse does. When you do your fundraising, you’re not married to any specific donor giving money, are you? You just allow it to flow from wherever. That’s why when you fundraise for others, you’re so much more successful. 🙂
Get quite and allow the solutions to come to you. They will. You just have to listen for them.
And congrats for getting out of a situation that didn’t feel good. Now, don’t get all glum! Stay happy and allow the good stuff to find you!
I’ve been on a journey where the missing piece has been the expecting it to happen. Feeling a sense of entitlement takes this to the next level and it feels so light! (because it’s true)
You’re helping to expand collective consciousness here, Melody, and this ain’t LOA newbie material, more like postgrad stuff.
Nice one 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind feedback. Hmmmm. Should I be providing more basic stuff? I figure my free ebook does that (it explains the basics, so I don’t have to spend too much time on them in the blog posts…)
I like that. Post grad. Da professor is in, y’all! 😀
Just starting listening and reading on laws of attraction. Thank you for helping me to understand.
You’re so welcome Roxane! 🙂
I thought this was a complicated issue, but you’ve made it so simple! Feel entitled, but don’t dictate how you get what you’re entitled to. I can think of situations in my life right now where I’m feeling entitlement in an unhelpful way – and you’ve shown how easy it is to fix. Just let go of expectations of a specific source.
I think people fluctuate in what they want to give, as well. A person may offer intimate conversation one time, and prefer to maintain a bit of distance another time. We can appreciate the close moments without resenting the less-close. Sometimes Grandma wants to babysit, and sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes the vibrations match up, and sometimes they match up less. It’s all good!!
Wow again! I’m seriously in a state of… WOW! Fingers are crossed this video goes viral. I’m sending it to everybody I can think of.
Congrats on your awesomeness. BTW your hair looks great, too! Hugs,
Thanks MC! I appreciate the feedback!
And you’ve brought up a good point: Just because someone was a match to an activity one time, doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily match it again. The key is to drop all expectations and just allow the Universe to bring you the solutions easily.
Thanks so much for your support! 🙂
A big mistake people make is that they think they have to ‘tell’ the universe ‘how’ their desires must be made manifest. Like, I need a new house so I must win the lottery. You don’t win the lottery and decide the process is a sham. In the meantime, a relative, who was going to leave you their house in their will, for some reason decides to leave it to someone else. You effectively blocked the process by trying to tell the universe how it must fulfill your dream. Be open for any and all avenues and don’t cut any off. Sometimes it comes in the most unusual and unexpected ways!
You’ve totally got it. When we try to control the process, we block the manifestation. The “how” is really not our job. 🙂
Thank you so much for throwing more light on this. It was helpful.