In the last few weeks, I’ve been asked the same question, in one form or another, over and over again. When that happens, I take it as a sign that tons of you are pondering or struggling with something and it’s time to sit my butt down and write a blog post about it. My butt and I are happy to comply. Oh, and because so many of my awesome question askers prefer to stay anonymous, I’m just going to assign the following moniker to these askers from now on:

“Awesome Dude” asks: I think I’ve got all the bases in my life covered, except I haven’t been as great as I would like to be in my love life. So I am applying the non attachment principals and visualizing and feeling the emotions as if I were already dating the woman of my dreams. One quick question: in your blog post about attracting a girlfriend, you don’t really say to be so specific about what you want, focus more on the feeling. In other articles I have read (not on your blog although some readers do say in your articles’ comments) that when you visualize the situation you want, it’s important to see the person exactly the way you want. Merely feeling the emotions is what attracts / puts you in the spirit of receiving, so is it necessary to be very specific or not? Will being very specific pose more resistance?

Dear Awesome Dude,

What an excellent question. Here’s your answer:

Visualizing doesn’t create a thing

First, it’s important to remember that the act of visualizing doesn’t actually create anything. Visualization is simply a tool we use to allow us to see if we’re aligned with what we want or not, and if not, to help us get there.

You can look around at your reality and see where your vibration is at. Your reality will mirror that back to you. And when something in your reality feels off, it is mirroring your resistance back to you. But, you don’t have to wait until your vibration manifests into physical reality – you can check where it’s at before that happens by visualizing. When you visualize a scenario, but don’t try to guide it, your vibration will create a visualization that matches your energy on that subject.

Let’s say that you want a girlfriend, but you have a belief that beautiful women aren’t very nice. So, when you play pretend about going out with a beautiful girl, your fantasy takes a turn for the worse. You see her being kind of a bitch to you and your friends, making little passive aggressive comments and as time goes on, you see yourself having to put up with worse and worse behavior from her.

Now, you can guide that visualization deliberately and mould it into something you’d rather match up with.

Changing the visualization changes your vibration

So, you fantasize about going out with this girl, but you imagine her being really nice. Now, at first, this is going to feel off. It’s going to feel fake, and you’re not going to really know what words to put in her mouth. What does a nice girl say? What does she sound like? How does she make you feel? You keep trying out different dialogue and different scenarios until you find some that feel better. You spend some time with this visualization until you actually feel ok about it. Fantasizing about a nice girl no longer feels off – it feels natural. As you mould the fantasy into something positive and spend enough time with those thoughts to make them feel comfortable, you are actually shifting your vibration and lining up with the vision of what you want. You will no longer attract beautiful but bitchy girls. Instead, gorgeous, nice women will start to show up.

The Specifics

Now, when you visualize, you can get really specific – like daydreaming about an actual woman you know, seeing yourself meeting up with her in a specific location, talking about certain subjects, etc. Or you can be really general, fantasizing about a faceless stranger, not really trying to determine how you’d meet or what you’d do, just focusing on how you’d feel around her, seeing the two of you laughing together, flirting, snuggling, etc. What’s the difference?

The key to how specific you get is in how much resistance you have.

It’s easier to feel good when you’re thinking general thoughts. This is because specific details often trigger resistance. For example, you may have little resistance to meeting a girl. But when you fantasize about Veronica from the coffee shop, you have lots of resistance, because you don’t think that there’s any way she’ll ever go out with you. That belief will cause a specific visualization about Veronica to feel bad. In that case, you have two options:

1.)    You can dig up the belief about how Veronica will never go out with you and release it so that fantasizing about dating her will feel good.

2.)    You can visualize more generally and take Veronica out of the equation.

The process:

When you begin to visualize something you want, start off really general. Allow whatever resistance you have to the very idea of your desire to come up and work it out.

Once a general visualization feels really good, get a little bit more specific. Now, more resistance will come up. You can either go back to more general, or, you can release the beliefs that have just been triggered. Stay with this level of specificity until it feels really good.

Rinse and repeat.

If you get to a level that you can’t shift, that you can’t work into a good feeling place, just back off and visualize more generally. As long as your visualization feels good, you are tuning in to what you want.

But what if you can’t stop thinking about a specific girl and it feels really bad?

In that case, I recommend you read the following blog post:

Jagger Was Wrong: You Can Always Get What You Want. But You’ll Never Get What You Need

If you’d like some help finding those better feeling thoughts and shifting your vibration so that you can feel better and line up with what you want, check out my LOA Life Coaching.

What do you think? Does or did visualizing have you confused? What tricks do you use to shift your visualizations to a better feeling place?

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  • Good point! The apartment I envision is much different (including location-wise & environment) than the home though. When just focusing on the house, I didn’t feel like I was transmitting the desire to have my own place soon which is what made me focus on both. Then, I thought about how I’d want my apartment to be & the visions for both are much different.

    Are you saying in your comment that I should trust that the universe knows that even though I want the house, I’d like to have my own place soon so I will get something similar, but fitting for what I’m allowing? I guess my main concern is staying clear & specific & not confusing my desires. Sometimes I’ll even envision moving to the house from my apartment or owning both at once lol I’ll have to play around with it some more.

    • Mike,

      When you find your desires conflicting, you’re getting too specific. You’re applying a false assumption somewhere. You can have whatever you want and it doesn’t have to conflict. You may not know HOW that could happen, but the solution exists. So, if you can’t find a way to see both the apartment and the house, focus on the more general, long term goal and let the details of the short term goal fill in. Remember, it’s about lining up with the energy of what you want, not about continuously telling the Universe what you want. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    In addition to traditional visualizations, I’ve been enjoying “acting as if.” I’ve been running into some contradictions though and it has to do with short-term & long-term goals. For instance, I graduated not too long ago & am currently at home so I want to get an apartment. However, I know exactly what I want my “house” to be like (have been building it for a while in my mind) & that gets me most excited, where as an apartment, not so much. I am in the process of getting more excited about the apartment, but I don’t want to let go of my ultimate house vision.

    So, I’ve been trying to envision both, but sometimes I feel contradictory. Probably because it’s signifying that I can’t have the house right away & that doesn’t feel good. I absolutely believe I will have it, just not so soon (it’s a quantum leap for sure). I’m trying to figure out how I can focus on both. Overall, how do you suggest envisioning & focusing on long & short term goals?

    I’m sending huge hugs first this time 😉 lol


    • Hey Mike,

      Focus on the house and then let the Universe bring you the apartment that matches as many of that house’s characteristics as possible. You may not be ready for that house yet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get something close to it. Consider the apartment the precursor – a manifestation that shows you where your vibration is at right now and gives the opportunity to refine it more. So, the apartment will have characteristics that you love, which you can then focus upon and get more of, and some that maybe you don’t, which you can then use to determine what you’d like instead.

      Does that help?

      Thank you for the hugs! I’m honored! 🙂
      Huge happy shiny puppy hugs right back atcha!


  • Hey Melody,
    Believe me , I’ve asked myself this question why before. I want a girl who never had her first kiss because I want to share my first kiss with someone truly beautiful. Even when I date girls b4 I don’t kiss them , because I don’t love them. That’s my reason , to share my first kiss with someone who also shares her first kiss with me. And have that divine beautiful moment. And spend the rest of my life with her. If there is a next life , then that too.That’s all.( I know that sounds corny). Definitely not because I dont want her to compare me with other man. In fact I would want her to. Whew , It felt good telling u all these.

    So that’s my reason. So will the universe give a girl who never had her first kiss if that’s one of my quality? Or is it just a maybe? And I’m Asian btw , and Asian society girls are more conservative. Many girls don’t kiss there bfs when they start dating!

    • Hey Arils,

      No worries. I wasn’t asking you those questions to judge you, but simply to have you clarify your desires for yourself. If it’s important to you to find a girl to share your first kiss with, then you can have that. You don’t have to settle. But I’m going to give you the same advice I gave you before. Stop focusing so much on the details. I know you say that you feel no resistance but again, I do. When you think of these qualities you want, it triggers the fear you have that you can’t get what you really want, that you’ll have to settle. That’s resistance. This is why you keep asking me if you can truly have these specific characteristics. If you back off a bit, just focus generally on how you want to feel when you’re with this girl, you’ll align with her much faster. Why? Because when you focus on the details and you trigger this fear, you are actually offering a contradictory energy.

      The Universe knows what you want. It will give it to you. There’s no question. The only question is, will you allow it?

      Huge hugs,

  • Dear Melody ,
    I am trying to manifest a soulmate. If one of my qualities is that she never had a bf and never had her first kiss. Is it possible? Is too specific? But I don’t feel any resistance. Or will the loa only give u some stuff but not all. Will the loa give me my soulmate who never had a bf and never kissed b4?

    • Hey Arils,

      Yes, it’s possible. But as always, I would ask you, why are these qualities so important to you? I know you say that you don’t feel resistance on this one, but I’ve got to tell you, I do when I read your words. There’s a strong belief under there and you’re trying to placate that belief by adding really restrictive items to your list. Why is it important that your dream girl has never been kissed and has never had a boyfriend? Why is it important that she not have the ability to compare you to other men (this question may cause a strong emotional response in you. I feel a strong trigger there. I’d advise you to explore it and really try to answer it).

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    This is a good article…i have followed your site “religiously” so to say 🙂 and it has been a tremendous help! Amazing things has happened..and all because I have stopped questioning the “how” and concentrating on the belief that what i want is already mine. Few examples – I got the apartement I wanted, I have won employee recognition awards at work and recently was shifted to the departement at work I wanted to get in to! Not even mentioning the money that keeps flowing in from the most unexpected places. People look at me and do not understand why it is all happening to me…but i know 😉 And I want to say a big thank you for that.
    There is only 1 aspect that I find hard to shift my energy- finding a right partner…I recently met a guy (being very happily single for some time before that)..and sure I knew from the start that my vibration was not right so the result is that my heart is broken.. I simply find it so difficult to heal it and move on…I do not know how to do to make myself believe that something better is coming?

    • Hi Ekeledo,

      Welcome to Deliberate Receiving! Thank you for sharing your awesome results here. What an inspiration you are. 🙂

      First of all, back off and don’t try to shift this situation while feeling so badly about it. Go do something else, something completely unrelated and get yourself feeling good again. You know how to do that.

      Second, look at the situation from a more objective point of view – almost clinical. You said that your vibration was off from the start? How did it feel? Why? What thought were you thinking that made you feel that way? Why did you override your intuition? And so on. Don’t do this in a “Why was I so stupid” way, but rather look at it like a mystery and you’re following the clues. Your behavior wasn’t wrong or stupid. Your pain is not bad. It’s telling you something. And if you can figure out what and shift that, you’ll not only feel better about this, you’ll attract a much better situation next time (this is what I do in my coaching sessions…)

      You can’t force yourself to just feel better but you can dissect the messages and shift your perspective and release the pain. The following blog post may also help:

      Using the Law of Attraction to get over a Breakup.

      Huge hugs!

      • o.m.g- that article was amazing…just what i needed to hear (or read..:) ) I do not know how you can explain this all to us so simply but you sure are a blessing to our worlds :)! I am feeling so much better already and just wonder- how did I miss this article before? (then realising that i didnt have that problem Anyway- thanks a million for your awesome reply. Life is amazing if you make it one! xx

        • You’re so welcome Ekeledo. The answers to your questions always appear when you’re ready for them. Not before. That’s called perfect timing and you can trust that the Universe will never be late. Better than Fed Ex! Ha.

          Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    Yes, I think that what matters is how our visualization makes us feel. If our visualization turns into a nightmare, it’s time to say – STOP- rewind and start again. To me I found that visualizing with real faces works much better, but if you’ve got a great imagination I guess you can make up faces 🙂

    • Hey Sylviane,

      Everyone has to find the way that works for them, and it can and most likely will change as you apply it to different beliefs. That sounds complicated, but not if we remember to simply FEEL our way through it. What feels better? That’s the key. 🙂

      Thanks for sharing your own experience here!

      Huge hugs,


  • WOW this just knocked my socks right off….I have read it 3 times this morning and wish I knew how to book mark it to read it again…

    My visualizing is good, but it is stuck at the wanting state…and wow can I manifest books to read and review – so I know I am good at this…

    but when it comes to healthy body and size…I am focused on the pain and the wanting.
    Paying off the medical bill – I am trying to do it myself and that is not working at all.

    I also am having trouble with a bucket list – My partner is getting a fairly clear idea of how he wants his retirement years to look and it does not include the travel I want to do – he is done traveling ( well hiking and biking are still on the list) I stayed home with our special needs child….so in the relationship category I need to say: “I have a just perfect travel friend – we have the the best time together and like visiting similar places”

    I also manifested 50 therapeutic massages one year – but I had to be very injured to achieve that – I am going to do that again without the injury…I so benefited from all that touch….I was so high..
    thank Melody and all the commenters

    • Hey Patricia,

      You’re clearly a very powerful manifestor. You just have to figure out where you’re blocking yourself and let those things go. When you find a way to do that, I think you’ve proved to yourself that things then come to you quickly and easily. It’s always easier to manifest things you don’t care that much about than the big stuff. Not because the Universe can’t deliver big stuff, but because we tend to get in our own way so much more the more we care. So, when it comes to the big stuff, just back off and go general. As long as you feel good, you don’t even have to be thinking about the subject of what you want. Just feel good. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • I have never given much thought about LOA, but the more I read the more I know that is how I roll. I have certain expectations and because of these expectations good things happen much more than not. Good stuff indeed.

    Now about that picture……….it kind of turned me on in creepy kind of way……..:)

    • Ahahahaha Bill. So… is it the RISK of dying or the idea that it would be last sex ever, kind of like you want to know when it’s the last cookie so that you can REALLY enjoy it? In real life, would a bonk on the head suffice instead of decapitation? No judgement here. Just curious. 😀

      Hugs! (You can keep your head. This time.)

  • Heya Melody,

    Happy weekend. Awesome article on a subject that I have been intensely pondering on lately. As others have already said, it’s awesome how you break-down a complex subject into something so easily understandable.

    I have to ask though…do we really HAVE to visualize something to manifest it? I have a PhD In Daydreaming from the University of Slackerism, Middle Earth. Not sure if you’ve heard of it. There’s another branch in Narnia. So, it’s safe to say I have no problems when it comes to visualizing. But is it essential?

    You say that visualizing doesn’t create anything. It just makes a sort of log of what we like and dislike, and reflects the state of our current vibrations. Let’s say I too want to bump into a nice girl. But I’m not interested in the specifics. Do I just raise my vibration to a point where I’m happy? I go about doing my stuff and enjoying life, leaving the details and the timing to the Universe? That’s an option I’d really like.

    Or let’s say I don’t even know if meeting a girl would be something I want. I just focus on being happy, and allow good things (which could also mean a kickass chick) come my way? All I have to do is get rid of the resistance and be open to new things.

    Or say someone who’s in a turbulent but committed relationship feels like she wants a better partner. But she doesn’t care about the details. Wouldn’t ‘being open’ also allow the possibility that instead of a NEW partner, the relationship between this girl and her current partner starts to prosper because now, her vibration and energy level is peaking?

    • Hey Derrek,

      Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Nope, you do not HAVE TO visualize. Visualization is a tool you can use to shift your energy, but it’s not the only tool. If you can step into a space of allowing, of no resistance, and just happily play with the Universe, you don’t have to visualize a thing. This is the process I described in the blog post The Secret behind “The Secret” – How We Manifest Reality.

      In the last scenario, the girl wouldn’t want a new partner. What she’d really want is to feel better. And if she found a way to do that, then yes, her current relationship could well drastically improve or, her boyfriend would gravitate out of her life and a better situation would show up. If you truly allow the Universe to bring you what you want, then you never try to manipulate the situation – i.e., you don’t require that you get a new relationship, or a certain amount of money, etc. The problem is that most of us have a hard time being that allowing, so we need a few techniques and stuff to get ourselves there. Enter mediation, visualization, the vibrational ladder, etc. These are all just tools that help us get to the end goal – full blown allowing and playing. In that state, whatever you want will come to you. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

      • Awesome answer, Melody. Thanks.

        To be honest, I have nothing against ‘wanting’ or visualizing something in order to manifest it. But I’d really love to just allow as well. I’m going to really try it out. Step one is to just be happy with everything in the present. Step two is to allow more goodness to flow right in. Let’s see how it goes. I have a strange feeling it’ll work it perfectly. 🙂

  • “Once a general visualization feels really good, get a little bit more specific. Now, more resistance will come up. You can either go back to more general, or, you can release the beliefs that have just been triggered. Stay with this level of specificity until it feels really good.

    Rinse and repeat.”

    Excellent summary.

    If anyone missed the point of this article, I’d recommend re-reading the above paragraph. 🙂

    Rock on and ryze up, Melody ( friends :D)

  • Okay, this is long so if you want to delete this, it’s ok-no harm, no foul. There is also a Part II if there is any interest.

    The Universe operates according to set laws and the co-creators need to be aware of those laws if they are to be successful in their efforts to consciously create their own reality. Keep you in mind; you are constantly creating your reality now albeit on an unconscious level. If you want to know what you think about the most, what you are emotional about and what you believe in strongly all you need to do is look at your life. Your currently reality is merely a reflection of what is occurring in your mind.
    Visualization is a key in creating your own reality. If you think that you cannot visualize you are mistaken since the world you see is the result of your visualization. The Universe is very literal. It does not judge your desires. It will create what you hold in your mind, thoughts and emotions. It should be stated clearly from the outset; you cannot create negative thoughts or send negative thoughts to someone. All that happens in that situation is that you pollute your own mind and affect only yourself and your perception on the world. There is more that could be said here but it is not worth the energy to do so.
    Visualization is more than just seeing what you want in your mind. It is not a flat image like on a TV screen but rather it contains all the dimensions and the physical and emotional senses. In a way it is a hologram in which you must be an active participant if you are to achieve maximum success. Most people start off on the wrong foot when it comes to visualization. They start with the premise “I want.” Like I said, the Universe is very literal and so it will give you all the “wanting” you can handle. Any verb that follows “I” is very powerful and it is the key message to the Universe. Therefore, if you say, “I want more money,” this is interpreted by the Universe as you “want” to keep wanting more money. What you get is merely “wanting” and basically no money. This holds true for phrases like “I need, I wish, I hope,” etc. All you will manifest is “needing, wishing and hoping” in ample abundance.
    Starting visualization with the mindset of “I need” is a false premise. Basically you are stating that there is something you do not have and you want the Universe to correct the situation. Here is a key; there is nothing that you do not have. Since all things are made of energy, there is an unlimited supply of energy in the Universe-truly, there is no shortage. When you tell the Universe you do not have something that is the message it receives and it acts accordingly by giving you “not having.” All things already exist in potential and your goal is to bring that energy into manifestation in your life. All that you could ever want or desire exists and is merely waiting for you to bring it into your life. When you tell the Universe “I have financial abundance, perfect health, a great personal relationship, spiritual enlightenment, and a wonderful and joyous life,” then you set the Universe in motion and it ensures that what you “have” in your mind is brought into physical reality. It is not that seeing is believing it is rather believing is seeing. Better yet, knowing is receiving.
    Knowing that you have what you desire sets up a different and receptive mental state. Now is the time to act “as if.” In your mind you add dimension and emotion to that which you have mentally created. If it is a home improvement you desire, in your mind you see yourself in the added room along with all of the decorations, furnishings, smells and activities you will do there. See other family members in the room and play out in your mind conversations and others things you will do in that added space. Make it real. Pick the colors of the walls and see yourself hanging the paintings and then just feel good that what you created mentally is now real. Do not be concerned how this becomes reality and always keep the vision on the present tense. I have, not I will have. The word “will” implies future and like I said, the Universe is literal and that future will always remain in the future until you accept your vision in the now.
    Do not second guess how your vision will occur. Many fail at this stage. They try to prescribe to the Universe how it should materialize the vision. I knew a person who once tried to manifest the “money” for her perfect new car. She kept failing. She was telling the Universe that the only way she could get the new car was to get money. After some consultation she decided not to “tell” the Universe but rather to let the Universe do its own thing. She began to visualize the car and her in it-period. A very short time later she was left the exact car, down to the red color by a relative that could no longer drive. The relative was going to sell the car but decided to give it to her niece instead-at no cost. When you try to prescribe the means you actually close doors and oftentimes block the Universe from manifesting your vision. Do not get caught in the mental trap of “I want it and this is how it must come.” The Universe is very resourceful.
    There is another key step in this process and I would refer you to my other article, “The Power of Gratitude” posted on Gather. Now that you “have,” be grateful. Let the Universe know that you appreciate the gift and are thankful for a Universe that is waiting and ready to meet all of your desires. Keep in mind that the Universe is not seeking gratitude, it really seeks nothing. But when you set up in your mind the attitude of gratitude you make the manifestation your vision real to you. One rarely gives thanks for something they have not received.
    If you want to decorate your fridge with picture and post sayings of gratitude that is all wonderful and they are reminders of what you have received. But, when your vision becomes clear do dwell on it too long. If you keep adjusting your thoughts and worrying about your vision you are giving the Universe the impression that you are either not done with the creative process or that you do not really “know” that it “has” happened.
    More on this later!

    • Wow Phil! What an awesome summary of the manifestation process! Thank you so much for adding such immense value here! Don’t worry about the length. I’m on the wordy side myself… 🙂

      I literally have nothing to add. This was perfect.

      Huge hugs!

      • Okay, since you say it’s ok, here’s PART II-these are from my book-oh, oh-hope I don’t get in trouble-“Jesus Taught It, Too: The Early Roots of the Law of Attraction.” BTW-the book is not at all religious but rather focuses on the spirituality of the teachings.

        We live and breathe and have our existence in a sea of energy that is shaped, molded and manifest through conscious thought. All that exists is thought made manifest. To the ancient mystics, this was called the tapestry of life. In modern times it is the string theory of quantum physics. Remember, there is no lack of energy in the Universe.
        DO NOT give any attention to things that you do not want in your life. All that does is to feed energy into that which you do not desire. Do not adopt the attitude that there is no way that you can have what you desire simply because you do not see how it can come about. If the Universe can create stars, planets and life it is quite capable of creating a more positive situation for your life. Actually, the Universe can only create positive situations, it is we who do not see or interpret clearly. Even if you think you only have little of what life seems to offer, it is necessary to be thankful for what you do have. This begins to put into motion the idea that what you have, you enjoy and the Universe will respond with more of what makes you happy. So if you seem to have a lack of funds, be thankful for what you do have and let the Universe know that it pleases you to have money in the bank. This opens the door to more. But if you constantly bemoan the fact that you cannot pay a bill, then that is where you are putting your mental energy and the Universe responds by adding to that energy. The Universe merely follows your flow of mental energy and adds to it. It makes no judgment about what you think about, it merely follows the flow of your thoughts and assumes that because you are filling that thought with your emotional energy, then it must be something you desire.
        Once you have formed the picture of what you have (remember, you have everything-you just want to manifest it), do NOT dwell on the image. If you keep changing your ideas then the Universe is given the impression that you have not finished your mental creation and so it will wait until you are done. However, there is more that you can do to reinforce your mental creation. For the sake of argument, say you are seeking a new or more positive relationship. You have imagined (Imaged) your perfect partner. What you can now do is a little daydreaming. Picture what you and your new partner will be doing. See yourself and your partner going out to dinner, attending a play or concert, taking a drive or spending a quiet moment together. What are you going to talk about with your new mate? How will you spend your evenings? What clothes is he or she wearing? In this daydream you do not alter the image; rather, you give it life and solidity. Fill it with conversation, laughter, emotion and a sense of joy and gratitude that all that you sought is real and now in your life. Do not make this a future event; see it in the now for now is all that there is.
        This bringing to life of your image is often overlooked. If a car is your desire then see you self in it and going places. If it is better health, then see yourself doing what you desire in a state of wholeness. If is enlighten you seek, feel the presence of revelation, higher knowledge and understanding flowing through every fiber of your being. Want to help world peace, then do not see the world at hour but rather focus upon a vision of the world filled with understanding and brotherly love. As you focus upon these energies they are drawn into your world by the Law of Attraction. Remember, you cannot change the lives of others and impose your will upon others. We are each responsible for our own reality. Hut by drawing in the energies you desire you do have an effect upon others. Remember, the Universe is a tapestry and all of the threads are connected. As you re-create your part of the picture, the entire mosaic begins to take on a new and more positive appearance. Align yourself with positive thoughts and the world will follow your example.
        Breathe life into your images and fill them with emotion, passion and life. See, feel, taste and hear your creation into existence. One last word of caution; do not fanaticize. While there are no limits except what we limit in our minds, there are laws that you cannot alter, at least on this plane and in this place. You will not be able to sprout wings and fly, at least not physically. If you have no singing voice at all but want to be a big rock star, then be prepared to take music lessons. If you do not know how to turn on a computer you will not wake up a webmaster. The Universe may provide you with the means and opportunities to manifest some of these desires, but you until you achieve a higher level of spiritual mastership it is probably best to keep your desires in the realm of possibility. While all things are possible, not all things are probable. In the words of the great master, Jesus, “Did I not say ye are gods?”

          • Hi Philip,

            Thank you for sharing! The words resonnated with me to my core and every fiber of my being. I love the law of attraction. It is so wonderful to know that each of us can create our own reality with our thoughts. I also believe if each of us can hold the vision of a better world we would see it manifested. A sustainable, just, and peaceful world dosen’t have to be a “someday” dream for humanity as a whole. It can be a reailty.

            Wishing you many blessings and peace,


        • This was beautiful Phillip! And I couldn’t agree more. Manifesting is such a natural and easy process. We are the ones that make it so hard. But really, true allowing feels easy. It flows. It’s joyful.

          Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful words with us all.

          Huge hugs!

    • Wow, this is such an awesome read Phillip. You have literally shouted to the world what Melody said in this post. Especially on doing the work of the universe. Thanks so much for this.

      • Thank you, this is a wonderful site and Mel approaches the top in a very refreshing way. I am glad she has a good following as awareness of the LOA may be all that stands between a world at peace and and more headlines like this, “Wyoming state legislators prepare for what amounts to ‘doomsday’

        Blessings and Light to all.

  • Dear Melody,
    It took me years to understand the power of visualization. I was a big ‘resister’. Once I surrendered and started making it a practice, lots has changed in my life.

    BUT there’s still a tremendous amount of work to do. And in truth, in a good week, I spend 5 minutes in my morning spiritual practice visualizing. The book ‘Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting’ has had an impact on me…again it’s a matter of consistently practicing.

    I know the word ‘intent’ is overused. But when I am focused and practice ‘visual meditation’, I have had some extraordinary experiences.

    As always, you stimulate my senses and get my energy revved up. xxoo-Fran

    • Oooh, Fran, I love that: Visual meditation. And it’s no surprise that visualizing in that state has brought you awesome results. It really does come down the making those small changes consistently. They add up pretty fast, though. It just seems too simple, especially when we’re so used to being so action oriented. But it totally works.

      Thanks so much for your support. You rock! 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Hey Awesome Melody,

    Law of Attraction – Debunking the Seven Biggest Myths

    Jagger Was Wrong: You Can Always Get What You Want. But You’ll Never Get What You Need

    Thank you so much dear for your one more article which will help us knowing how does LOA works. Now, I have started lusting specifically (you will come to know about it in considerable time as you are there in my visualization) 🙂

    Till then, take care. Bless you!

    Huge Hugs & Love,

    • LOL Sameer,

      So, I’m part of your, um, fantasies, am I? He, he, he. Well, I look forward to seeing what you and the Universe are conspiring on. I’m sure it will be pure awesomeness.

      Huge hugs!

  • Funny, I’ve spent most of my life the opposite of Kelli. I can visualize to the nth detail but with little to no feeling behind it (childhood issues where showing feelings wasn’t safe). Over the last few years I’ve finally been learning that it’s OK to feel my feelings. It’s made a big difference in my life.

    Many years ago when I was single, I mentally listed all the aspects of the man I wanted in my life. While I didn’t have a picture or anyone particular in mind, I had a very strict list of requirements. Since manifesting wasn’t my strong suit back then, I was shocked when he showed up. The man came out of my past (a former client) and had everything on my list. That’s when I realized that I hadn’t been specific enough. I was listing things I wanted based on things I didn’t get in previous relationships instead of what my heart really wanted. It only took a couple days to figure out what was wrong and I went back to the drawing board (mentally).

    Today I feel like the things I want in life are bumping up against old “not good enough” programming. Part of me can feel how good those new things will feel while the other part of me pulls me back down. How do I cut the cord and fly???

    I put a sign on my fridge that says, “FEEL GOOD.” I’m being more mindful of making choices that feel good vs. my usual choices of “what has to get done.” It’s early in my practice but at least I’m becoming more aware. I’d love to hear any other ideas you may have Melody!

    • Hey Paige,

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience. The first list you made was a logical list – you chose items that you thought your guy would need to have in order to make you feel a certain way. And surprise, he ended up not being what you REALLY wanted. That’s called trying to do the Universe’s job. It’s better to figure out how you want the relationship to feel and let the Universe deliver it.
      As you do that and do the work to line up with those feelings, any resistance you have, like “I’m not good enough” beliefs are going to show up. This is a GOOD thing, because you can’t release them until you know about them.
      You’re doing everything right! You are paying attention to how you feel and when you don’t feel good, you do your best to shift your thoughts until you feel better. That’s the work. It accumulates, it really does. It’s in the noticing and then shifting perspective one situation, one thought at a time. It’s a very simple process, just not easy. For those of us who grew up relying on our intellect and logic and massive action, it’s not easy to stop all of that and just feel. So, take it easy and take it slowly. Those shifts add up pretty quickly, so you don’t have to do anything to speed it all up. You don’t have to DO anything. BE more. Feel better. Do that and you’ll see some pretty magnificent changes.
      I hope that helped. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • HI Melody,

    I love the specificity of this post! The steps are so clear. Thank you!

    It hadn’t occurred to me before, but I imagined myself into moving to Mexico. In August 2010, I wrote a novel set in a small town in the US but modeled exactly on a town I had visited in Mexico. Six months later, I was living in the town in Mexico. Wow!

    A question related to visualizing: Writers “live” inside their novels. I get so immersed, it feels like I’m living in Darjeeling, or in the last novel, Colima. The characters become more real than the people around me in “real” life. How does this relate to vibration? When I write a novel, I’m on a vibrational high 100% of the time, even asleep. Does this mean whatever I write will “come true”? Sometimes it has, sometimes not.

    Thanks again for this post. I’m going to try these visualization steps with a couple of current situations. Major cute puppy hugs!

    Mary Carol

    • Hey MC,

      Great question. No, whatever you write about will not necessarily come true. But when you spend such a large amount of time at a really high, great feeling vibration with little or no resistance, the things you want will come in. It’s entirely possible, though, that you created a scenario in your novels that matched what you actually wanted, even if you didn’t know it. You wanted a place to live with certain characteristics, and you were such a match to it that you created this very world in your novel. As you continued to match it, it came into the physical even more – a real live town that you then moved into. But if you wrote about a murderer, as long as you were in that same high place, you would not draw that murderer to you. You’d have to be a vibrational match to that. But if you write about something neutral, like red flowers and you feel really good about red flowers, it’s possible that you’ll manifest beautiful red flowers. Because they would feel good to you. So yes, you can manifest stuff that you write about, either because the writing and the idea are a manifestation of what you want, or because through the writing you line up with an object my attuning to how it makes you feel or associating it with a feeling and having no resistance to it. I hope that makes sense.

      Ginormous hug. And the countdown to 1000 begins.


      • Thanks Melody. You’re right that what ends up on paper always has some resonance with my life, though usually something subtle and not the core idea of the book. I realized after my first novel that I had written about my mother as the young woman I imagined her to be (an idealized version!). And after my second, that I had memorialized and mourned a friend. Another time I broke up with my significant other in a novel before realizing I had to do it in real life. Writing has been an exorcism at times, and always an exploration of my inner life, something I hadn’t been able to work through consciously.

        The Colima novel was different, because I really think I brought the move into my life with the vibration of the book. Maybe I should start writing love stories??

        Hugs! Not sure if we’re counting down or up, so this is #2 or #998!


        • Writing as a form of therapy, I love it. But you know, you CAN use your writing to line up with what you want. If you write a love story, for example, you’re going to need to work your way into the feeling of love, or your writing will not be authentic. And in doing so, you’ll align with what you want. 🙂 Yay!

          Erm, how about Hug: 3/1000. 😛


  • Hi Melody
    This topic is actually something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Visualization has never been my strong suit. I am much better at cultivating feelings and thinking more abstractly about the things I want, though sometimes I can get good at getting really specific images. You are so right about the specificity sometimes triggering resistance and making things more difficult, that has been my experience many times. Intuitively, I always felt that the feeling was more important than what I was actually seeing and it is good to get confirmation of that from someone as skilled in this area as yourself!

    • Hey Kelli!

      Isn’t it awesome when you figure out that your intuition is spot on? And it always is, we just have to learn to trust it. Easier said than done, of course…

      Thanks for adding your experience here!

      Huge hugs!

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