[Quick note to the gentlemen: I know that at first glance, this post may appear to be geared entirely towards the ladies, because, well, you don’t exactly suffer from PMS (although some people claim that men also get a type of bitchiness once a month, but that’s another story altogether…) If, however, you have a woman in your life who suffers from this malady, you are very much affected by it, and you know it. Also, this post explains some pretty complex principles using the example of PMS, but as always, you can apply them to a variety of subjects.

One warning though: I’m going to disclose some fairly personal information about myself here. I am a woman and I get my period every month. I know. Shocking. And I’m going to talk about it. If you think that reading about this will ruin the romance for you and make you not be able to look me in the internet eye anymore, then maybe you should skip this post. You have been warned.]

From the time we’re around 12 or so, we women go through a monthly transformation, not unlike that of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Our ovaries seemingly begin to twist themselves into knots, just to torture us (because really, what could possibly be the point behind having to go through that kind of pain??). We become tired and sluggish from loss of blood (or at least it feels that way, the doctors keep telling us we’re losing less than a cup, but what the hell do they know?). We become ravenous monsters in search of pretty much anything edible, but we’ll bitch slap a kitten in order to get to a box of chocolates. We cry at commercials, and dissolve into heaps of self-loathing and pity one moment, only to turn around and threaten our normally beloved hubbies with dismemberment if they don’t bring us some Ben and Jerry’s within the next ten seconds. And while the men in our lives are bewildered and more than a little frightened by this change in our personalities, it’s no cakewalk for us, either. It’s like our bodies turn against us and we lose all control.

My own experience (possibly TMI)

I used to have horrible periods. There wasn’t a month that went by when I didn’t spend the first 2-3 solid days and nights of my cycle completely zapped out on painkillers. It was the only way I could work or sleep or stay sane. My energy level would be so low that I’d barely be able to schlep myself through the day. I’d turn into a total ditzbrain, suddenly unable to perform the simplest tasks without screwing them up. On several occasions, I had to run out of a business meeting, so that I could burst into tears in the bathroom, because I took something that someone said WAY too seriously. And even though I knew in that moment that I was overreacting, I couldn’t stop it. I HATED my time of the month. We were most definitely not friends.

But it got me wondering: Why would nature set it up this way? Why would women be biologically designed to suffer every month? Over the years, I started to piece together the answer and as I did, my own suffering ceased. I don’t mean that it’s become tolerable. I mean, I can’t remember the last time I took a painkiller. My 8-10 day Red River Rafting Trip turned into 2-3 days (I’m not kidding). My mood swings pretty much completely ceased. My time of the month became a non-event. I still don’t love it or celebrate it, but it no longer affects my life. My scary monster turned into the equivalent of a Reality TV star at a party. They’re there, but no one cares.

How nature intended it:

In my quest to figure out why God and the Universe had condemned the female half of the species to a schizophrenic, torturous existence, I began looking at other mammals, notably, anything that wasn’t human. And it turned out that human females were the only ones that suffered. Monkeys who are on the rag don’t go crazy once a month and kill off all the males because they left the toilet seat up. In fact, animals don’t seem to be too affected at all by their time of the month. They take it in stride. It happens, but it’s no big deal. We eat, we sleep, we poo, we bleed. Who cares?

What’s more, when we look at indigenous and “primitive” (as in untouched by the modern world) tribes, those women also didn’t seem to suffer nearly as much or as long. Sure, many have developed belief systems that state that women should not work during that time, and some even sequester the women in a separate building for a few days while they bleed, but this isn’t because they’re shunning the women or think them to be crazy or incapable. In most cases, they’re actually honoring the women, considering them extra-intuitive and spiritual during this time.

Given everything I’ve come to understand about who we really are and how the Universe works, it never made sense to me that we were meant to suffer. And my research seems to be backing up my intuition.

We suffer because of the way we live

We experience our periods the way we do, because of the way we live. We are generally not in balance with nature, or the way nature designed us to be. And this imbalance causes our discomfort.

There are many factors that contribute to how much any given woman suffers when her Aunt Flow comes to visit. Obviously, we’re not all the same. But since we do all adhere to some basic biological beliefs (the beliefs that cause our bodies to function in pretty much the same way), some of this info will be applicable to all women.


The way we eat contributes greatly to the way we feel. This is true at all times, but becomes especially relevant when the red eyed monster comes to town.  If you’re filling your body with a bunch of chemicals, non-foods and processed garbage, it’s not going to function properly. Your body has the ability to stay alive even if you feed it the equivalent of nuclear waste, but there’s a cost: Your body has to basically cannibalize itself in order to keep you alive if you pour sugar in its gas tank. It’ll run, but it won’t be pretty. In addition to chemical waste, foods such as dairy, soy (all non-fermented soy products like soy milk and tofu will mess with your hormones), sugar, caffeine, wheat and even meat can greatly affect how you feel during your menstrual cycle. Try cutting down on these foods or even doing a full on detox in order to rid your body of these substances. See if it doesn’t make a huge difference. Then, you can re-introduce these foods one at a time to see if you have a reaction to them.

Ensuring that your body is getting proper nutrition (not just NOT the stuff it doesn’t need, but plenty of the stuff it does need), is also a great way to cut WAY down on overwhelming cravings. As I explained in my post on Intuitive Eating, your cravings were actually originally designed as a mechanism for your body to tell you what it needs, nutritionally speaking. So, when you crave an apple, it’s because you need the nutritional components that an apple contains. When we eat non-foods, however, those signals get screwed up and then our cravings are all over the place. What’s more, when we’re suffering from malnutrition (as almost everyone in the West is, believe it or not), those cravings get even worse. The better you eat, the more accurate your cravings will become. I still crave chocolate around that time of the month. So I put a large scoop of raw cacao into my morning smoothie. And the craving goes away. My body got what it needed. (It’s not the sugar we’re craving, it’s the chocolate. Raw cacao has TONS of vitamins and minerals in it that nourish the body. It’s actually one of the healthiest foods on earth in its pure state.)

I saw the greatest improvement in how I felt during my cycle when I ate a 100% RAW diet. When we feed our bodies in the way we were designed to (real food, mostly fruits and vegetables), and when we listen to our bodies (if something gives you indigestion or gas or cramps, STOP eating it!), our bodies begin to function the way they were meant to and suffering diminishes.

Global /Communal Beliefs:

For most women in the Western World, the pain and discomfort we experience during the Crimson Curse is simply accepted as fact. We expect it from the time we get anywhere near puberty. We see our mothers and aunts suffer and we just know that our time will be the same. The pain is an unavoidable part of being a woman. TV commercials tell us that our physical and emotional pain is normal and offer us relief in a convenient little pill that just happens to be packed with enough drugs to knock out an elephant (although, possibly not a menstruating one…)

No one ever mentions that this suffering is NOT normal, that it’s a sign that something is a bit off. Oh no! Don’t worry about that! Just take a pill, grab a hot water bottle, or lock your husband into a terrifying steely-eyed gaze and inform him through gnashing teeth that he’s just going to have to “deal with it”. Except, it’s not normal. And we’re not supposed to feel that way. And when we do, something is off. We are not in balance. But of course, if we expect to be in pain, not only will we be much more likely to attract it, but when we do, we’re much less likely to do something about it.

We don’t recognize PMS and menstrual pain as a problem because we’ve been told this lie that it’s normal to feel that way. The emperor, ladies, has no freaking clothes.

Personal limiting beliefs:

And then, of course, we all have our own beliefs that will get in the way of us feeling great all the time. This will vary from person to person and will manifest differently. One woman may have fears around her fertility and since the uterus and menstruation are symbols of that fertility, she may manifest massive issues every month that mirror that fear. Another woman may have unresolved feelings of helplessness and massive cramping every month may make her feel exactly like that. Control issues can be at the heart of monthly problems, as can repressed anger, feelings of unworthiness, self-loathing, inequality, etc. In short, it’s a very personal thing.

But here’s the good news: As we clean up our emotional garbage by making feeling good a priority, by noticing how we feel and shifting our perspective, when possible, to thoughts that have a higher vibration, we also shift the physical manifestations of those limiting beliefs. As we feel better emotionally, we feel better physically. And yes, this includes our “Special Lady Time”.

So, now you know why you may be having such pain and discomfort before and whilst you’re riding the cotton pony, and what you can do to avoid it in the long term, but, what do you do in the meantime?

What can you do during a PMS attack?

Once you’re in the throes of PMS, it’s just like with any other highly emotional situation. Once you’re in it, there’s not much you can do to stop it. You just have to ride it out. But, you can control how you react to it and how you experience it.

  • Acknowledge what’s happening. Yes, you’re overreacting and you know it. When you take a moment to acknowledge that it’s because of PMS, it becomes a lot less scary. You’re not flipping out for no good reason, you’re flipping out because your body is preparing to go into its “Hey, I’m not pregnant!” time. It often helps to simply acknowledge that you’re not bonkers.
  • Use your freak out for the power of good. As annoying as those mood swings are, they are still emotional reactions, albeit amplified ones. And what do negative emotional reactions tell us? That’s right class. Negative emotional reactions always tell us that we’re thinking a thought or focusing on a belief that doesn’t serve us. Now, just because you may be blowing something small WAY out of proportion, what you’re REALLY reacting to is a belief that you carry around with you all the time. It doesn’t just show up once a month. So, if you pay attention to exactly how you feel and follow that feeling back to a thought, you can use your freak out to uncover some of your limiting beliefs and release them.
  • Give in to it. Do what you can to feel better. Notice that you’re not feeling good and instead of trying to push through it so that you can prove that women are NOT the weaker sex, damn it, try honoring yourself. Give yourself permission to feel like an overemotional, drained of all energy, achy, painy, puddle of self loathing. That’s how you feel. Stop fighting it. And then, do what you can to actually feel better. Take a nap. Get a hot water bottle. Eat a box of chocolates. Sip some tea and blubber into your hankie while watching old movies. Take a walk and smell the flowers. In other words, instead of doing everything you can to deny this part of your shameful self, like a person who has the flu but refuses to acknowledge it because strong fighters don’t succumb to viruses, give in to it and allow yourself to actually feel better. This doesn’t make you weak. It makes you emotionally smart and self aware. Also, pampering and soothing yourself will make you less apt to resent your husband for not being able to squeeze a watermelon out through is nether regions. Just saying.

Bottom line

The bottom line is that suffering, any suffering, at any time of the month is not “normal”. It’s not necessary and should always be taken as a sign of some kind of energetic imbalance. It’s a sign, just like any other manifestation of resistance, that you’re holding on to some beliefs that aren’t serving you. Even the foods we eat have their own energy, and our food choices will often reflect vibrational discord that’s already present (and/or cause more). Everything always comes down to our vibration. PMS and menstrual pain is not part of being a woman, no matter what the media and pharmaceutical companies and your Aunt Frieda will tell you. There is hope. When you find your own personal balance, this monthly discomfort can absolutely be a thing of the past. Of course, then you’ll have to find another excuse to scarf an entire box of chocolates while everyone around you trembles in too much fear to even mention it…

Other Posts You Might Like...

Access our LOA Vault!

Get instant access to all our FREE resources, including courses, workbooks and a bonus chapter for my book!

  • i have a question.
    when it is said by abraham that ‘food does not make u put on weight’ (orrrr wait..tht was byrne in the secret !) or when abraham says ‘ anything blessed and eaten in the vortex’ serves you well..then it dosent frankly matter what i eat right?
    i could be eating processed and guzzling sugar and still be okay and energetic and healthy and what not?
    am confused. do clarify :/ 🙂

    • Hey S,

      If you got in the Vortex first, it would not matter what you ate, no. However, while in the Vortex, you wouldn’t choose to eat foods that weren’t aligned with you. That means, that if you got in the Vortex NOW (not in some theoretical future time when you have no resistance left, and could eat donuts and thrive), you would choose foods that would be good for you according to your energy. For most people, that doesn’t include sugar and pizza (although it could, especially in smaller quantities).

      There are people who can eat just about anything and have plenty of energy. They thrive no matter what they eat. But there’s a difference between theory and practice. Most of us don’t believe that a candy bar is healthy. The thing is this: When you’re in the Vortex, you will automatically choose those foods that will serve you and which you can really enjoy. That’s not going to be rice cakes.

      Does that make sense?

      Huge hugs!

      • oooo. okay makes sense. we ARE after all talking about a real attainable vortex right now. and although it would be nice if it had zero resistance and converted ANYTHING i ate to serve me, that wont happen at the moment cuz its too theoretical.
        tx for the clrification 🙂

  • Ok Melody,

    I got told! 🙂 “don’t judge other peoples’ manifestations.” aww okaaay. But it’s in my nature! I psychoanalyze. My mind never shuts up with it’s analysing. It’s probrably killing me. But it’s like trying to change thre colour of my eyes.
    Until reading your blog I’ve practised empathy frequently and deeply. I would actively imagine being the other person and what things were like for them. I have stopped using empathy as often now that I learn more about LOA and what it would bring to me. (I thought it was a great thing, empathy as it made me very compassionate)
    I still don’t know how to do without it as I naturally slip into empathy everytime I talk or argue with someone.
    I try to look at myself from their perspective and it’s often ugly and selfish so I understnad why they are mad. But it is probrably ripping my mind apart being so empathetic when empathy is flawed as you can never truly be the other person. But damn it I want to understand.

    • I’m always trying to understand and learn. I want to know why people did this or that to me. What drove their thinking?, how I look to them?. What their life was like to create their thinking?
      I encourage others to use empathy when engaging with me too. I get very angry when someone is not empathetic towards me because I am for them. I struggle to understand a shallow perspective and get hurt easily.
      I don’t know what to replace empathy with as it’s been a core part fo who I am.

      • Hey Alice,

        What you’re doing isn’t so much empathy (well it is, but it’s mixed with something else), as a powerful and really horrific way of judging yourself. You imagine how they see you through their eyes (a view you cannot possibly accurately understand, so you’re really just creating fiction here…) and then you look for ways to judge yourself. You are also trying to be compassionate towards others but in a way that makes you feel guilty.

        It’s ok to want to understand why people do things. I’ve dedicated my life to that. It’s incredibly interesting. But you’re making it personal.

        Your personal experience, how you perceive everything that happens to you is down to only one thing: Your vibration.

        And how other people experience their reality is down to their vibration. You have to learn to separate the two. Don’t take their actions, reactions or motivations personally. Take your experience personally and look within yourself.

        I think this is a really powerful distinction for you. 🙂

        Huge hugs!

        • Thankyou Melody,

          “a powerful and really horrific way of judging yourself”- thankyou that statement is actually really validating. It’s like you get what it’s like to be me.

          I’m filled with hope because I’ve got all this powerful negativity and energy and as soon as I have something that turns it all around that’s some overwhelming positivity thats going to come into the world. Because of that information about energy not being created or destroyed-just changed. OK I can believe it.

          If energy was coloured and you could see the streams of negativity flocking to you, would you be more likely to change your thoughts, believe in LOA or just go insane like we would if our eyes were powerful enough to see all the germs on our hands.

          They got a microscope to show us germs- not visible to the naked eye. Maybe there is an invention to show us this energy flow to help the super-logical brain get the concept.
          There would be so much peace if people realised they were just doing things with their feelings.

          • Well, I think that if you started seeing energy all at once, you might go bonkers. But if you developed the skill incrementally, seeing only hazy bits at first and then more detail, you could learn to discern it. Also, there’s some powerful focus and intention that’s gone into making our eyes work the way they do. You can’t just switch to a different view willy nilly (at least most people can’t. Some do, but they have a hard time with it. They’re usually labeled as schizophrenics). But if you knew what was happening and eased into it, you’d be fine.

            When you get good at reading energy, you don’t even need to see it (I don’t generally see energy with my eyes, sometimes, but not generally), but I can still read it. And as time goes by, I’m getting better and better at it. Who knows what I’ll evolve into in 20 years? But I can’t just jump there. I have to develop the ability with practice and also, I have an intention to do this comfortably. I don’t want to wake up one day and see the world differently. That would scare me, too. 🙂

            Huge hugs!

  • **Aha!** This reminded me of a thought I had jotted down on the topic of health. In just two years I went from perfect eyesight to barely having any in one eye and being extremely shortsighted.
    I don’t even know how this happened. But now I talk about it like it was always there “excuse me could you read that sign for me? I’m short-sighted.” I don’t remember being short-sighted three years ago. How did I suddenly accept this. Where do these things suddenly come from? I get blurred vison, white vision and sometimes intense tension headaches.
    I got some reading glasses but a part of me worries they’ll make it worse, weaken my eye- so I only use when really need them.

    • It’s a manifestation of resistance. But there is also opportunity in there for you. It kind of sounds like you have been going through a process of shutting out reality for some time. Perhaps your focus on reality was not serving you and by shutting it out, you’re able to gain a different perspective? Blurry vision allows you to notice less stuff. It’s making your reality fuzzy, a little less real, a little less compelling, making it easier for you to shut it out.

      Does that make sense?

      Huge hugs,

      • That’s pretty cool. That means if I find my happiness (it was hiding under the rug the whole time- oh no I don’t have a rug…) then alot of these resistance manifestations will disappear. (?)
        What do you think of the movie “The pursuit of happYness” ? I used to think it was inspiring but after getting into LOA it seems impossible because he got happy AFTER he got his success. His success came after tonnes of hard work and depressing struggle. He flogged his way to success.
        It’s based on a true story too.

        Also in another post on good news, you mention in a link the beauty queen that used to be obese then she lost so much weight. (she looked fantastic, bravo!)
        But after watching the interview she says “this was HARD work” it doesn’t seem like she used LOA at all.
        She used willpower and LOTS of exercise and diet changes. She was happy AFTER winning the crown.

        • Hey Alice,

          Again, don’t expect people to be consciously aware of how they did something. It’s possible to manifest something while having resistance. For example, the beauty queen certainly had to make some changes in her energy, but if she believed that she’s have to work really hard to lose weight, then that was what was necessary for her to make it. Also, it’s entirely possible that if she took her eye off the ball, she’d balloon right back up. If she lost the weight with action only, then that would be the case. It’s never black and white, but generally a combination of vibrations.

          Can you make changes with brute force? Of course you can. It’s just really hard. If you line up your energy first, it’s a lot easier and then the changes will be permanent. You don’t have to worry that you’ll revert.

          Second, you can’t judge how someone is actually feeling. they can seem happy but actually still be really full of fear.

          Third, don’t expect a movie to be vibrationally accurate. 😉

          Huge hugs!

          • lol@ the last sentence. Well I know the movie is not accurate but I’ve read the guys story that it’s based on and it makes it sound like the actions brought him happiness as he wasn’t happy when he was in poverty-just determined.

          • And in that determination, he shifted his vibration (probably incrementally and often painfully) until he lined up enough with the manifestation. The journey caused him to shift his vibration until he became happy and his manifestations kept up with that. I would not ever expect it to be portrayed that way, though, since most people still think that you get what you want and then you get happy. So success stories are naturally presented that way too. Whatever your beliefs, you will see the world through them and it will always prove you right.

            Also, here’s a thought: We always assume that money would be a happy vibration for everyone, but it’s not. It is for some, but for many, it’s actually a match to something else. Otherwise, all people with money would be happy and everyone who’s happy would be rich. Neither is the case. Don’t judge other people’s manifestations. You can’t know what’s going on there.

            We are all a huge mix of vibrations. It’s never just about one subject (even if we like to think that it is).

            Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    Everything you say makes sense. I had a relatively easy time with periods and pregnancies, and had my reproductive “difficulties” with two childbirths. My first baby couldn’t get out – I had attracted a husband with a really big head!

    I’m wondering how it all applies to my experience of menopause, which was difficult though not as bad as for some. Maybe if I had imagined the estrogen gently leaving my body, it would have just disappeared instead of leaving me wondering sometimes if some evil genie was injecting me with bad drugs.

    Now that the reproductive hormones are gone, I feel fantastic! They say our sixties are a decade of light and growth, as we put our creative energy into ventures beyond childbearing. It’s true! Something awesome to look forward to, ladies!

    Giant happy post-menopausal hugs,

    Mary Carol

    • Hey Mary Carol,

      I’ve had several emails asking me about menopause, so I’m so glad you addressed this here, at least to some extent. I’m just not there yet… but I promised to do some research and see if I can come up with something helpful. It is, essentially, the same thing though. Whatever physical discomfort we feel, no matter for whatever reason, it’s actually due to resistance.

      I also have a theory that these rites of passage, including childbirth, are huge, transformational occurrences in our lives, that cause major vibrational shifts. Sure, they’re not necessary (like, I’m not having kids), but when they do happen, the changes can be profound. I think that if we make those changes before those instances occur, we get off easier. Still working on that one…

      Huge non-menopausal hugs! Ha.


  • I thought I was bleeding to death in the elementary school bathroom…my mum had shared nothing…I think this trauma really made a difference….by the time I was 13 it was massive Migraine headaches for 7-8 hours ending in throwing up every month.
    When my aunt called it falling off the roof – that felt just about right.

    I passed kidney stone – iron – in college and had to have surgery for 3 and a tumor…nothing has ever been more painful that that – ever…My mother’s words to not let anyone know you were sick or in pain just held me together …

    After having my first child – wow the pain totally went away….I was tired but I was also eating a superb diet for my baby and her nutrition….

    Being British and stoic was how my mum handled the whole thing….and it worked for her…I think I needed to celebrate and relax – find the reward (baby) to come to terms…it makes such a difference the presentation and the outcome.

    I want to tell people too what an amazing change in attitude came about with affordable sanitary pads, then tampons, and no girdles, metal garters, and comfortable clothing….I had to wear nylons (not panyhose- and they were mended) and dresses, and heels to college everyday…no jeans or PJ bottoms. How easy we forget….and most grandmothers today are too young to tell the story

    • Wow Patricia. My grandmother used to tell me of the huge pads she would have to wear. When she was a girl, they’d have to wash them out (no cotton products back then…) I really didn’t envy her. We have it so much easier now. I think that over time, we’ve become much less willing to suffer. My grandmother went through horrendous pain and bleeding, procedures to try and stop it and no painkillers or sympathy. Work still needed to be done and she had to do it. Now we have products and pills and much easier lives all around. Our vibrations are higher, as well. I think nutrition has gone down, overall, but other than that, our lives are so much better. That’s reflected in how much pain we bear at that time of the month.

      I can’t believe that your mother never told you what would happen. My family was pretty open, but I remember crying the first time I got my period. I didn’t want it. I “knew” that the suffering would now start. Go figure…

      Thanks for sharing!

      Huge hugs,

  • Wow Melody — awesome post! I never thought about it that way before. I used to have it as bad as you did — I’d be completely out of commission on prescription pain killers and anti-inflammatories for about three days of every month, and then it would just drag on for 8-10 days (went a full 14 days once… I *still* remember that). Wasn’t such a big deal when I was in school, but when I had summer jobs it was more of a problem (missing time ’cause I was in too much pain to function, that is). I had major improvement with the pill (ah, magic pill). And then ever since my babies were born, I’ve noticed that the pain is *much* less but the psycho-moodiness is worse. I will have to think about your post and see what I can do about that.

    Actually this gives me great hope for my baby girl — it’s hard to look at her and think that some day she may suffer with the kind of pain that I did (and it was *awful*). Maybe if I can be an example of living my life according to these principles, she will learn it at an early age and never have to go through what I did.

    Actually I think about that for both my kids… about life in general and hoping that they choose to be happy right from the start. I think that, more than anything else, this is my biggest hope for them… that they are happy. Because everything else that they could ever want for themselves will come from that.

    P.S. You mean I have to give up my *coffee*?!? That in itself could be more dangerous to those around me than mere PMS!!! LOL!

    • Hey Nathalie!!

      I promise you. Your kids ARE choosing to be happy right from the start. Your job as mom is not to teach them otherwise. 🙂 The kids that are being born today are so much less willing to be trained out of their innate knowledge and connection, they are less likely to pick up on these limiting thoughts than we were. Also, you are consciously working on releasing those beliefs, and that will benefit your kids. Yay!

      Oooh. You don’t HAVE to give up your coffee. But it might help… Hmmm. I see what you mean. You have to balance out the PMS with coffee withdrawal. Tough choice! Perhaps you could check yourself into a clinic and have them medicate you. Course, that would work for either… 😛

      Huge Hugs!

  • With a background music of drummer (increasing the tempo) a Salute to Super Lady!

    Since the day I came to know what is that a lady experience in these days I had a respect (I mean I never see as some problem or untouched).

    This will help being good Partner & Parent… Thank you so much Melody!

    Huge Hugs from my wify,

  • *slow clap* Bravo, Melody. Bravo. Awesome post on a subject that most men will tread carefully on. Plus this gives us a post to direct our girlfriends to. 😉

    A couple of things from my perspective :

    To all the dudes out there: grow a pair, seriously. Stop wussing around this subject. It’s frickin’ 2012 and you watch porn that’s far, far *shudddderrr* worse than a simple monthly bleed. The best way to know what your woman is going through is to get educated on the subject. Don’t just avoid her like she’s crazy. Man-up and learn. If you had to bleed once a month (from your privates no less) you’d either faint every single time or we’d be in the middle of World War 1076. Couple the male ego with a hormonal cyclone and boy oh boy are we in for a s**tstorm.

    I applaud you, Melody, for telling it like it is and giving us “too much information”. No information should be too much information. The more educated we are, the more the notion of monthly tirades being normal will evaporate. This post is gold.

    I can attest to all this being the fault of ‘trendsetting’ by our surroundings and the media. For some reason my gf hardly goes through these monthly episodes. I guess someone didn’t give her the memo? She does experience some physical pain, but emotionally I’d say she’s pretty stable. And on the days when she’s cranky and I know it’s around that time of month, I give her the benefit of the doubt and blame it on hormones. If I’m unsure, I just ask. If it’s a “yes”, I just accept it. I’m not condoning bitchy behavior, but raging hormones aren’t easy to deal with and I get that.

    The fact is, men need to understand this subject more and women need to digest the fact that going ape-crap crazy every month isn’t the right way. Once this stereotype fades, everything will be better. A wise man once said :

    “The World Will Be A Better Place When Men Admit That They Cry, and Women That They Masturbate”.

    That wise man was some random guy who posted this on a viral meme site. But in true stereotype-breaking fashion, that doesn’t mean he’s NOT a wise guy now, does it? 😉

    • Ahahaha Derrek,

      That made me laugh. It’s true, though. I was at a spiritual retreat a couple of years ago. Everyone was totally open and communicative. We were sharing some of our deepest fears and dreams and helping each other process all kinds of feelings.

      In the middle of a conversation, someone said “Ugh. I got my period.” And I swear to you, two men, one in his 40’s and one in his 60’s, both of them straight, not only cringed but went “Ew! Gross!”, as if someone had just brought up the most unacceptable subject ever. I was floored.

      Sure, maybe we don’t want to discuss details over dinner, but the very idea of a woman’s menstrual cycle grossed these men out, like two little boys who’ve just found out that their parents have sex. Incredible. What’s even “worse” is when women react this way, as if the whole subject was unclean, somehow.

      Thanks for chiming in with your hilarious, enlightened-male point of view. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Most of my life I’ve had absolutely no problem with my periods. Then, over the past six months or so, they’ve gotten progressively worse so that they’re almost unbearable. I was thinking that it might have something to do with peri-menopause but you’ve once again given me a whole new set of things to work think about and work on. Now I know I can move back to where I was where “that time” is no big deal.

    Thanks again! You’re so awesome!!!

    • Hey Paige,

      Wow. What changed in the last 6 months. How does the pain feel emotionally? What else has happened in your life that feels like that? Look for the pattern and you’ll figure out what this pain is trying to tell you (what it’s a manifestation of…)

      Thank you for your always wonderful comments. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi there, Saw this shared on G and just thought I’d chime in. I’ve never had PMS and always wondered what everyone is talking about. Cramps, sure. Killer sometimes. Headache, sure. Beyond that, nothing. No moodiness, no bitchiness, etc etc. I always figured it must be like what you mention–I’ve never made any big deal about it.

    Maybe from being involved in sports all my life, my attitude toward pain is something like OH well. What’s a few days of cramps compared to getting thrown from a horse or racking up on a steep ski mountain? lol Also could be that I didn’t have any friends or family who made a big deal out of it; in fact, I don’t recall anyone talking about it after my older sister rigged me up with the necessities (my mom got us books). My friends never complained much. And maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have any choice. Meaning, I’ve always had to go to school or work and grin and bear it or participate in sports and whatever, pain or no pain. No opportunity to be crabby about it. Pain is part of life, and who was going to listen? Nobody I knew freaked out about periods. Of course, all my friends were similarly sports minded, so that probably had something to do with it.

    I’ve had a theory that, if you’re all stressed out in the first place, then when pain hits and all that some women just reach a limit and can’t take it anymore. Your explanations are excellent–limiting beliefs, especially. That explains things more than hormones.

    Nice to read this 🙂

    • Hey Leah,

      Welcome to Deliberate Receiving!
      It’s so great that you never had to suffer the emotional turmoil. Women in my family never made a big deal out of PMS, so for a lot of years, I didn’t have any. But I did have horrible pain. To tell you the truth, as a teenager and in my early twenties, I thought women were making it up and using it as an excuse to be bitchy… Then, as an adult, I suddenly started to develop PMS (my life and beliefs had changed. I was a lot more stressed). That showed me, LOL. I think how our family and friends treat the subject makes a huge difference. We get what we come to expect.

      Our hormones are a manifestation of our vibration. Things don’t just happen by magic. The way I see it, our beliefs are the cause, the way we eat and think are an effect, and the way our bodies react is a manifestation. So, if your vibration is one of pain and powerlessness, then the hormones will kick in and create a scenario that has you punching random men on the street… 🙂

      I hope to see you around more!

      Huge hugs!

  • Great post, Melody!

    I’ll never be able to see a woman experiencing PMS the same way again – I’ll be as empathetic as ever of course – but now I’ll also direct her to this post!

    • Hey Arvind,

      It does occur to me that men must feel incredibly powerless during this time, too. They don’t know how to help their women who are suffering. That must feel awful. I’m glad to provide at least an explanation. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    OK, this is why I’ve come to love LOA. For the past 48 hours I have been PMT Monster at work. It began with massively overreacting to a silly comment someone made at the wrong time, and culminated in me yelling at someone who truly didn’t deserve it. So, this afternoon, I had a think about my behaviour and wondered if every month would be the same. In all honesty, even I find myself scary when I have PMS. How glad was I to see the title off your latest DR blog post pop up in my e-mail account tonight? And how much did I need to read this? Hint – the answer is “a lot”!

    So I had a really good root around, and found it could all be traced back to my belief that everyone tends to dump work they don’t want to do on me, and my anger at this perceived situation. I have a tendency to be all control freaky about work, not delegate (because it’s only me that can do it properly, right?) and then be a martyr. Tada! Is it any wonder people leave me to it?

    As you know I’m working through a lot of stuff right now, and I see this as really positive, because it’s something else I can add to the list of stuff I’m making better! So thanks once again, for coming to the rescue.

    Love n’ hugs xxxxxxxx

    • Hey Sinead!

      It’s no fun when you feel that you can’t control your own emotions. But when we figure out that our emotions, while elevated, are nonetheless valid and can be handled like emotions at any other time, it gives us back our power.

      I’m so honored to be a part of you journey! 🙂

      Huge hugs!

    • Thanks Adrienne!

      And you’re so welcome. I didn’t realize how many different terms people have for “period”. I hope no one ever judges me on my google history, lol.

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody!

    Interesting topic. I got rid of horrible cramps on first day of my period, with turning my attention away from pain and focusing on feeling good (I know how I feel, when I feel good! Right?). Before I was focusing on cramps and they got even worse. I changed the limiting beliefs like: “I have painful period. I bleed a lot..” to ” This time of the month I feel good as usually. And the bleeding is really minor.” During the first day: “I feel so good!” is my mantra. Guess what is my reality now? It took some time and experimenting though, but it is complete success with me. 🙂 Thank you for bringing such interesting topic to LOA world.

    • Thank you so much Barbara! This is exactly what I’m talking about! I’m sure this technique will help a lot of women who read this. Growing up, I NEVER even considered that a period could be pain-free. I think just the idea that it can be is huge to many people. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Melody, I love women, and want them all to thrive and flourish — to that end I’ve studied this and explained much of this to women previously, but I think it sounds a lot better coming from you. 😉

    Mad props, keep ballin’ 😀

      • 🙂 It always goes well, Mel… I’m sure my charisma, power and smoothness shines through — it tends to make a good impact.

        That being said, I’m thrilled to have a link / resource I can give them from… well… a respectable chick 🙂

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

    access teh free video course now:

    are you a spiritual gladiator?

    Find out why you've always been different, why life seems to painful to you, and why you're actually incredibly important.