In my post Life After Death, Or How Life Is Like A Video Game, I explored Who We Really Are using a nerdy yet clever analogy (at least I like to think so) about video games. I described the relationship we have with our higher selves and how whatever we do here in the physical, the good stuff and the not so good stuff, benefits our higher selves and the entire non-physical realm. And, I explained why all we really have to do is to find the vibration of our higher selves to manifest whatever we want. So far so good. But y’all had a lot more questions about the dying experience. Given that today is Easter, I thought it fitting to talk about death. And just to set the tone, because there’s no way I’m going to have a doom and gloom discussion about the Reaper, let me start you off with a joke:
Three knuckleheads died in a car accident and landed in heaven together. God addressed the first one, “Before you are allowed to enter heaven you must answer a question. What can you tell me about Easter?”
The first one looked puzzled for a moment then said, “Oh, I know. That’s the holiday in the fall when you pig out on Turkey and watch football games all day.”
“Wrong!” said God and the first one disappeared in a puff of smoke. God turned to the second one and asked him about Easter.
“Isn’t that the holiday in December when you get gifts and decorate a dead tree?”
“Wrong!” said God and the second one disappeared in a puff of smoke.
The last one looked nervous as God turned to him.
“What can you tell me about Easter?” God asked.
“Well that’s the holiday that occurs in early spring. It begins on the day Jesus was hung on a cross between two criminals and made to wear a crown of thorns. He dies and they bury him in a cave and roll a rock over the entrance to seal it. On the third day, Jesus is supposed to rise from the dead. So they roll the stone away from the cave entrance and if Jesus pops his head out it means six more weeks of winter.”
We take death WAY too seriously
When I read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying about ten years ago, I got my first glimpse at a different perspective on death – one that didn’t fear dying, didn’t fight it, didn’t see it as something to be avoided at all costs. It dawned on me that we do everything in our power to avoid death and that our fear of it may be creating a whole lot of unnecessary suffering. We hook people up to machines and even when there’s nothing more to be done, we fight like hell to stave off the inevitable for just a couple more days. We see death as a sign of failure – a failure to live. It’s a tragedy. Unless someone was old and frail and hopefully really sick, the fact that they’ve died makes us think that something must’ve gone wrong. Why would God allow a young person to die? Where they being punished? Was it Karma from another life? Did they manifest their death because of their horrible thoughts? Did the Universe reach in and kill them off in order to settle some debt or in order to help someone else’s manifestation along?
We, as a society, have not made our peace with death. And yet, one thing is certain: We’re all going to die. Yes, even you. Possibly even me. Probably not Rock ‘n Roll. Why does that frighten us so much?
Life after death
The more I work on my spiritual development, the lighter and easier my view on death becomes. I’m able to see it as a mere transition – like leaving one awesome party to go to the next. But I’ll admit that this view is hard to explain to someone who doesn’t believe in life after death. The experiences I’ve had, connecting with my higher self, having conversations with Universal Intelligence, connecting with my guides and talking to dead relatives, have convinced me beyond a shadow of a doubt that this physical existence is not all there is. The more I explore my higher self, the less afraid of death I become.
I understand, though, that those who think that when they die they turn into worm food and that’s that, will have a harder time with death. And even those who believe in an afterlife may have been taught that it’s not all sunshine and roses. There’s hell and purgatory and a devil with a pitchfork who will poke you in the hiney for all eternity while making you watch the cast of The Jersey Shore performing Paris Hilton’s greatest hits. If any part of you believes that you will be judged for all your thoughts, words and deeds the second you die, you may not be too keen to have that experience. I get that.
But if you can wrap your head around the idea that we are truly powerful, eternal beings, that there is no judgment, only love, and that who we are in this physical reality is just a small part of Who We Really Are, then making peace with death isn’t that big of a stretch. If any of that resonates even a little bit with you, then this post is for you.
Accepting death does not mean rejecting life
When talking to spiritual people about death, I find that the biggest hurdle isn’t that they can’t believe that we go on after we kick the bucket. It’s the fear that embracing death is the same as rejecting life, as if one necessitates the other. It’s as though if one says “I embrace the idea of death and I’m not afraid of it. I think it’s going to be awesome”, it means the same thing as “I don’t fully appreciate the amazing gift that this life is”, or “I think everyone should just kill themselves right now. In fact, let me grab a chainsaw and help you all along.” It doesn’t.
I cherish life. I want to live it to the fullest. I want to have as many adventures as possible and grow old and wrinkly and have lots of awesome, funny and inappropriately dirty stories to tell. I do not want to die right this second. And yet, I’m not afraid of it. And I do think it will be a beautiful experience when it happens. One can respect and honor life and respect and honor death at the same time.
It’s like when you’re at a party and you’re having a great time. You don’t want to leave, because you’re enjoying yourself, but you know that you’ll have to leave eventually. So, when you get tired, or the party isn’t fun anymore, or you have other plans that necessitate you going to another party, you take off. You don’t stop having a good time ten minutes into the party because you know that at some point you have to leave. And you don’t have a fit when your friend, who has other plans, only stays for an hour and cuts out early. You don’t declare that “Something must have gone wrong!” You enjoy the party while you can, and then you head home. Death is kind of like that.
Death is not a sign of resistance, but a release from it
I’ve gotten a lot of questions about death and the most prevalent is: “Did that person manifest his death? Did they die because of their limiting beliefs?”, as if death is the ultimate manifestation of resistance. After all, if illness is sign of resistance, then why not death? They just built up enough resistance until the Universe dropped a piano on them or sent a bus to run them over.
But that line of thinking doesn’t hold up when you consider what resistance really is. We are always connected to Who We Really Are. That stream of energy is pure and high and full of love and it’s always broadcasting, like radio signal (from the most awesome radio station ever!). Our human bodies are the radios and there’s a little piece of Who We Really Are, like a little man inside the radio, turning the dial. When we have resistance, it’s like we’re introducing interference to that signal of love, we’re turning the dial to a different station. It gets all static-y and messy and we have a harder and harder time hearing the signal of pure love underneath. Saying that resistance causes death is like saying that if the interference gets so bad that the entire signal is blocked, it causes the radio to break down. But that’s not what death is. Death is a release from all resistance, not the result of it. When we die, we let go of all of that interference, all of our fears, all of our stupid, limiting beliefs and we rise up to that pure, high vibration of love. We can either turn the dial back to that station, or the little man inside the radio can decide to leave it and just go to the radio station itself.
Death is a manifestation, but not a bad one. Let’s say that a person has tons of resistance, for example. They’ve hunkered down and have refused to let go of those limiting beliefs and have manifested terminal cancer. They are getting worse and worse, but in that pain and illness, they desire to be well and to feel good like never before. The energy of their healthy self in the non-physical is getting bigger and bigger and in order to move into that state, they have to let go of their resistance. Sometimes, death is simply the “easiest” path to getting what we want. Death is a way to move into alignment. Mind you, it’s not the only way; we don’t have to die to fully attune to the signal of Who We Really Are. It’s just sometimes the most direct path between where we are and where we want to be.
So, you cannot create death for yourself by having “negative” thoughts. But, by having lots of resistance, death may become the only viable way for you to find the frequency of Who You Really Are (meaning, the only way you’ll allow at that point).
Death is just another option on the buffet
This is easier to understand when someone was crotchety, sick and old. But what about a young person who seemed happy and “was taken before their time”?
First of all, no one ever gets taken. They leave. The Universe does not and cannot assert itself into your experience and just kill you off. Death is not a punishment for past deeds or thoughts. People don’t die to teach others a lesson. They die because from a big picture perspective, including the view from non-physical, it’s the next logical step on their path.
We have demonized death to the point where we do not see it as a valid option. No one in their right mind would choose death. It’s an awful, awful thing. It’s the end of the journey and no one wants their journey to end.
You may have bristled at the word “option”. For many people, that brings up thoughts of teenagers and depressed housewives killing themselves indiscriminately. If we make death acceptable, anyone with a problem will just go and off themselves, right? Frankly, I find this line of reasoning ridiculous. No one commits suicide because it’s socially acceptable to do so, and no one is deterred from it because it’s not. Anyone who has ever either tried to commit suicide or been close to someone who did, knows that whether or not it’s legal or socially frowned upon doesn’t even factor into a decision that is made from a place of unbearable pain. (I may do a post on suicide at some point).
When we consider the big picture perspective, when we realize that our time here in the physical is simply a small (but significant and awesome) blip on the path that is our entire, eternal existence, and when we consider that we can come back anytime we want (and do), then we begin to see that death is just one more option to choose from in the great buffet of experiences.
Continuing the adventure
Consider that you’re in a big house with many rooms. And each room is filled with awesome games. You play with the games in the room that you’re in for a while, switching from one to the next as you please. Then, you get an idea to play another game, but you’ll have to go to another room in order to play it. Would you even think twice about it? Of course you wouldn’t. You would go to whatever room you’d need to in order to keep having fun.
Death, as seen from the non-physical, is just like that. It’s not a tragedy – it’s just the next logical step in continuing our journey. It’s the best way, in that moment, for us to continue our adventure and manifest what we want. It’s a means to an end, not something to be rushed into, but not something to be avoided, either. You don’t switch rooms until you want to play with a toy you can’t find in your current room. But no one gets to judge when it’s time for you to make that switch and no one gets to judge what you should want to play with.
Lack of control
What scares us most about death is that we feel we have no control over it. We fear that we could be in the prime of our lives, all happy and bouncy only to unexpectedly and unfairly be ripped from our physical existence. And the truth is, we can’t control death.
We can’t control if other people around us will die. That’s part of their path, and it involves us only to the extent to which we experience their death (or even the thought of their death). We cannot manifest the death of another person (we cannot cause them to die); it has to be their manifestation. Always. But we can manifest our participation in that experience. For example, when a loved one dies, whatever emotions you go through as a result of that will mirror your beliefs about death, life and often, yourself. Participating in the death experience of another can be a powerful catalyst for growth.
Our own deaths, however, are ALWAYS in line with what we ultimately want. When death becomes the easiest way for us to get what we truly desire, it manifests. Again, this is nearly impossible to believe if we think of death as a punishment or sign that something went wrong. But when we let go of that perspective and embrace the idea that death is merely a transition, a means to continue the journey, it begins to make a lot more sense.
I think of those Tibetan monks, described in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, who, when it’s time for them to transition, simply close their eyes and go. They know it’s coming and they’re ok with it. It’s not an ending as much as it is a new beginning. I think of how they deal with illness and how they peacefully guide those who are dying towards their connection instead of hooking them up to tubes and machines and pleading with them to stay. It’s a peaceful and tranquil transition instead of a stressful one filled with fear and guilt. I think of how those, who are close to death, are often filled with such peace and knowing, how their fear seems to melt away and how they are filled with the energy of love and clarity that they often end up helping their grieving families through the experience.
Ultimately, I can’t convince you of anything and I would never try to. I’m simply giving you my point of view, a perspective I’ve come to accept and one that is still evolving constantly, that allows me to view death in a way that feels good. I no longer fear death and hearing that someone my age has died no longer sends me into a tailspin of insecurity. I don’t get uncomfortable around those who are dying. I no longer see death as a tragedy, or as a failure of some kind. This doesn’t mean that I don’t grieve when I lose someone close to me, of course I do. But I grieve for me, not for them, and that grief is a lot easier to deal with.
I realize that there are so many more aspects on death that need to be covered. In the near future, I’ll be posting about mass deaths (like a Tsunami) and public deaths (like murders that get splashed all over the news) from a Law of Attraction point of view, as well as what happens when we connect with and have conversations with those who have crossed over. I may also write about suicides, the death of a child, and the fear of grief (or pre-grieving, like when you’re afraid your pet will die). Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts! And Happy Shiny Bunny Hugs!