It’s time for another collection of short but still incredibly important reader questions.
She’s been trying to get pregnant for 4 years
I have been trying to conceive for four years and my question is how am I supposed to deal with the blatant guilt trip that LOA lays on me (Inadvertently) when I don’t manifest properly? It is heart-breaking, truly. Maybe I haven’t done all the “work”, but therein lies the paradox. How do you stay detached without losing the alignment with your desires? With each monthly disappointment it is harder to stay in a high vibration (and this is the really cruel part) because the act of expecting your manifestation and getting excited about it coming only leads to a more crushing disappointment.
Ok, the idea that it’s somehow your fault if you’re not getting pregnant (the blatant guilt trip) is a misconception about LOA. It’s an insidious one and it’s an easy trap to fall into, but it’s not what LOA teaches at all. The fact that the guilt feels so horrible is your first clue that the way you’re looking at the situation is not serving you. I totally get that it’s frustrating when you want something so badly and you can’t seem to get it. The challenge is to find a way to feel good anyway, pregnant or not.
I wrote a post about this very subject:
I think it will help to clarify the process for you.
Also, take a look at WHY you want this baby. Sure, sure, you want to be a mom and shape a life and all that wonderful stuff. But why do you NEED this baby? What will it bring into your life, emotionally? What is the feeling you get every time you realize you’re not pregnant? What does that say to you about you? How will you feel about yourself when you’re pregnant? THAT’S what you’re really after. And that’s the feeling you’ll want to achieve. When you do, you’ll have made yourself a cooperative component to this pregnancy. Remember though, that the baby has to be ready, too. So it’s not all about you.
Pregnancy and birth are catalysts to massive vibrational changes for women (the process of giving birth causes a huge vibrational shift, in and of itself). Often, so is the pre-pregnancy phase. You are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself and WAY too much importance on this pregnancy. That’s totally normal, but it’s not helpful to you.
My advice to you would be to forget about the pregnancy for a while. I know your mind is going to jump in with lots of fear that if you forget about it, it’ll never happen. But how’s the constant obsessing working out or you? Go focus on something else, on taking care of yourself, on doing things that make you genuinely happy, just as you are right now. It will take a bit of work to wrench yourself away from this topic, but this subject doesn’t feel good to you right now. It’s fraught with frustration and guilt and fear. Let it go for now and get some relief.
You’re not running out of time. You may think you are, but you’re not. You cannot mess this up and you cannot block a baby that really wants to be born from being born. You will be a mom and an excellent one at that. But do you know that this baby that you want so dearly is going to teach you that you can’t control everything? She’s already started. You don’t get to control the timing of this birth. Accept that and trust that it will happen when it’s right. She’s going to be born when she’s ready, when ALL the circumstances in the world are ready for her, and you can’t plead or cajole or bully or feel guilty enough to make it happen sooner. Back off mom. 🙂
Can working with depressed people make me depressed?
I work as a self help coach on a telephone line set up for people with depression. In the past 2 years, I have noticed I have struggled on and off with low mood. I have always had anxiety on and off for the past 20 years and can deal with that fine, but the low mood is new. I have been getting the feeling that this is because I am regularly speaking to people with depression. Am I attracting depression into my life by doing this job?
The question of whether or not your profession can influence you was answered in the first Quick Questions Post (the second question, which asks if doing cancer research can give you cancer).
Can working with depressed people make you more depressed? Of course it can. If you’re focusing on their depression in a way that brings you down, it will certainly have a negative effect on you.
You have two choices:
- Get out and get out fast. Get a different job that makes it easier for you to feel good.
- Stay, but find a way to feel good even while dealing with depressed people. You are not serving yourself or them by letting their mood bring you down.
I’ve written several posts on the subject of helping others:
- Why Having Empathy is the Last Way to Help Someone
- Helping Those Who Don’t Want To Be Helped (Doesn’t apply directly, but will make some helpful points)
- Dear LOA: How Can I Make My Miserable Friend Happy?
As well as posts about how other people’s moods or vibrations can affect us and how to stop that from happening:
- Can other People’s Vibrations affect You?
- Can the Negative Thoughts of Others Influence Us?
- How Can We Keep Our Family’s Vibration From Affecting Us?
Essentially, you have to learn to detach from the person you’re helping, and see them as already “healed”. Focus on the best version of them, the happy version and shine your light on that part of them. Everything you do then will serve to guide them back to that part of themselves. You can’t force them to feel better and it’s not your responsibility to do so. All you can do is to highlight who they really are and to offer your own, higher vibration to help influence them. But you can’t be attached to the outcome. You must find a way to feel good no matter how they are feeling. When you can do that, it won’t matter how depressed they are, you’ll keep your vibration high. And, you’ll help them more than you ever have. Not all of them, but those who are ready.
How can I use the law of attraction to learn Japanese?
Lately, I’ve lost all my motivation to learn Japanese. I love how the language sounds, as well as the culture of Japan. However, the language seems so hard to me. How can I use LOA to become fluent in the language?
They key here is to stop focusing on actually learning the language (the studying and memorizing, etc.) and on WHY you want to learn Japanese. You must have a good reason, no? If it’s a passionate reason (like, you love the language, you’d love to go to Japan and be able to communicate, etc.), then focusing on that will re-ignite your motivation for learning the language.
Focus on the WHY and then wait to be inspired to learn. It might take a different form than you’ve been using. You may be inspired to meet a Japanese person who will speak with you. You might take a class that’s more fun. Don’t be too strict about deciding HOW you need to learn the language. There are a lot of different techniques. You may have chosen one that’s boring and hard, just because you thought you had to. Let your desire to learn Japanese, your love for the language and culture, inspire you to learn it in whatever way most resonates with you. You can also visualize yourself learning joyfully and easily. See yourself enjoying the process, laughing with your instructor or language buddy as you make a mistake and actually say something rude, high fiving them as you realize that you have the vocabulary to express your thoughts on a subject, overhearing a Japanese conversation and understanding the gist of it (and later, all of it). See yourself enjoying the process, as well as being fluent in it. What will it feel like when you’ve mastered the language? Do you see how much better that feels than focusing on how hard the damn language is? 🙂
If you missed them, you can find the first two posts in this series here:
- Quick Questions About LOA and Manifesting Volume 1
- Quick Questions About LOA and Manifesting Volume 2
Now it’s your turn: Did any of these questions resonate with you? Share your own experience for the benefit of everyone. Also, what’s your number 1 question about the Law of Attraction? Tell me in the comments!
If you’ve found this post to be valuable, I’d love it if you’d share it on Social Media or in whatever way you like. Thanks in advance for your help in spreading the Happy Shiny Puppy Energy.
Melody,
Totally. If we live to be 100, 40 is still young. Docs are so out of the ballpark because getting married in your 20s just to procreate is a great risk within itself. Of course, there is some logic to this in other cultures which marry the girl off young. I get it now after going through this process.
But I digress a bit. At 30, I have been labled with a reproductive issue, so we went on with ivf as we were told this is the way to go. I fell in love with the embryos, as they snap a picture of them you get to keep. Alas, they were not meant to be as they did not take after the third week, although I had already felt some pregnancy symptoms. This happened at the end of last week. I had my grieving period, right after my letting go of other past regrets and mistakes I thought I had made, so it was an enlightening period for me at the same time.
This process triggers an overview of your life, forcing you to see if you are okay with everything and, if not, to make changes. My husband certainly did and enforced them immediately and he seems better already. First and foremost, he vowed to keep the company of people who he really likes and are uplifting, not to put up with any downers for the sake of politeness. A positive thing to do for sure.
Again, thank you for all you do, for being you and for this blog!
It sounds like you’re preparing yourself vibrationally and are being given the perfect opportunities to release what resistance you have. And your husband, too. I love that the two of you work together like that. What a beautiful aspect of your relationship!
Consider yourself thoroughly hugged. By puppies. And me.
M
I just lost a pregnancy and feel really sad, yet know it is just not the right time. Paige, thank you so much for sharing your story and your respective ages. Unfortunately, clinics tell women that after 30, it is really difficult to have a child, your odds decrease percent by percent daily. But, it is such an inexact science, they are only tellng you what they see and what they can do.
And Melody thanks so much for all you do. I know there are others out there who think this is new-age BS, but they would say that about anything they just do not understand or have not read up on these topics in the literature that exists. All this is based on fundamantal truths that masters like Jesus have spoken about and gurus of the east have taught. There is no mystery there. They also speak of other things we can’t possibly fathom from where we are now, but physics is slowly unveiling even as we speak. Such as, there is a one-dimensional plane, which of course we cannot see from where we are, yet it exists and things do happen there. This may scare people who claim we are a cult, but we are not forced into anything here and we are certainly not being held captive in any way, which is what a cult does. Instead, we are led to your site totally on our own for various reasons and there is nothing cult-like about that. And I am glad I was led here, because this is a great forum you have established to find understanding and clarity for basic questions backed up by some great examples from which we can learn. And again, I thank you for that! 🙂
Hey Kat,
I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss. You’re absolutely right that age is not a factor (as long as you still have your menstrual cycle) and women are proving that more and more. What’s the point of living longer is we feel old and over the hill at 40? Why not see ourselves as vital and energetic for life? And yes, doctors (as anyone else) can only give you their view, based on their expectations and beliefs. Your reality is yours. 🙂
You’re so very welcome and thank you so much for your kind words. If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to let me know. It’s totally ok to reach for better feelings, but don’t pass over the grieving process because you don’t think you’re allowed to feel bad.
Sending you huge hugs, and love and light,
Melody
Wow, Melody, more awesome posts about very relevant topics. Thank you.
So, the specific words you use do not even matter, just the way we feel. I totally feel you, since I even have tears in my eyes after reading your posts and some of the comments.
If babies are so eager to come here, why do we, i.e., those already here, even waste a minute lamenting about stuff, any stuff, that we experience or that happens here when we are in it for the experience itself? It seems so counterintuitive that we would worry, fear, cringe, regret, feel bad and stressed about things when all is taken care of and we need to relax and just be happy. The formula is so simple, yet we mess it up. I know we need to be out of the vortex just to know what we want, and when we do, why can’t we just let it be and allow to happen when it does? It’s weird how things work with us, you know?
Isn’t this the main lesson? To have faith and enjoy?
Exactly Kat!
Oooh, we’ve decided so many things about ourselves and our existence that are just bogus. But we’re waking up now and as these new ideas take hold more and more and as we let go of the fear and self limitations, we’re starting to experience the real joy that was available to us all along.
It’s really all a matter of habit. We have a habit of focusing on the problem long after it’s useful. All we have to do is create a new habit where we switch to the solution ASAP. 🙂
Huge hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody,
Looks like I have lots of catch up to do with your posts. What a great one that is. I think you say it all in the first paragraph, really, not that the other 20 were junk, though 😉
But, yes, really. The person who NEEDS to get pregnant so bad is to fill a void or satisfy an emotion or emotions. Finding what their are will really help.
Also, I love the fact that you are saying that it’s not only about her being ready, but the baby also. That very few people would even think about.
If that’s of any help I’ve known a couple of women who were chasing after pregnancy so much that they might have actually pushed it away. Once they managed to totally release it and not think about it anymore, they got pregnant.
Hey Sylviane,
Thanks for your wonderful comment. Yes, I think it does help. Women in this situation cannot hear enough about other women who, upon letting go of the resistance, did get pregnant. Because letting go is scary, especially when you want something so much. They need all the validation they can get. 🙂
Huge hugs!!
Melody
I was actually thinking to e-mail you and ask about applying LOA for language learning.. Talk about sinchronicities.. 😀
I think that when it comes to language learning there are two things most people need to adress:
1. Their mindset related to language learning (and often learning in general).
I think that our society is holding very low standards for learning speed and that conditions people to expect to learn very slow.
I remember reading a language learning forum where people shared how many new words they learn every day.
Some said 20. Some said 250.
What’s the difference between them?
I think it’s their mindset when it comes to learning.
It’s our choice whether to hold the “I can learn 20 words a day” vibe or the “I can learn 250 words a day” vibe.
What might be helpful for people who are struggling with this because they think that language learning is difficult is to expose themselves to people who acquire new languages easily (just type in polyglot in youtube and watch some videos).
2.Their mindset related to the target language.
It’s easier to do for people who know at least one foreign language.
I think that you can really speed up the language learning process by taking the vibe that you have in regards to a foreign language you speak fluently (English in my case) and transfer that vibe as much as possible to the language you are trying to learn (Spanish in my case).
There are a lot of times when you don’t know the language when tension arises and that tension really slows you down. People might say something you actually understand and know how to reply to, but because you hold the, let’s say, “no hablo espanol” vibe, your automatic reaction is to get puzzled and tense. This wouldn’t happen with a language you are fluent in, though, like if someone says a word in English that I don’t know, I don’t get all lost and confused. That’s the gap you want to close.
– – –
I also think that it’s much better to visualize being fluent in your target language than to visualize the learning process.
This is because “learning” and “fluent” are two completely different vibes, and since you’re aiming for “fluent”, it’s better to shift to that as soon as possible (unless you want to be “learning” indefinitely).
It’s kind of like when gymnasts do mental rehearsal: they don’t visualize themselves learning the trick, they visualize themselves doing it perfectly over and over again.
I don’t know, accelerated learning was always a big interest of mine, so I’m looking for ways to successfully apply my LoA knowledge for that.. Definitely an interesting topic.. 😀
Hey Agota,
You make some really great points. I’ve found the same to be true. The more I relax, the better my Spanish gets. This is also why people often speak a foreign language better when they’ve had a few drinks. The inhibitions are lowered the resistance is temporarily released.
While I always recommend focusing on the end goal first, I find that if someone has a lot of resistance to the process and just can’t let go of that (as in “yes, it will feel great when I’m fluent but I just can’t get past the idea that learning it will be hard”), then shifting the feeling around the process itself can be really helpful to. So, spending a little time intending that the learning itself should be fun can really set us up for an easier time. But each person is an individual and has to pay attention to what feels best. 🙂
Abrazos grandes!
Melody
This series of quick Q&A’s is awesome. As far as I know, I can’t get pregnant (you know, because I’m a guy and all that biological nonsense….) but I think the same concept applies for life in general. Some people want money so badly yet bleed every cent they get the moment their paychecks come in. Some people are desperate to have a good relationship but are stuck in a troubled one. Some people would love to get the office chick in for a threesome with the girlfriend but for some reason the girlfriend’s all icky about it and morally sane, and God seems to ignore the pleas he makes every single day before going to bed because he thinks only God can get his possessive, morally-intact girlfriend to loosen up a lil’ but it’s been such a long time and he’s starting to wonder if God even cares about granting threesome wishes or if he should go look for Aladdin’s lamp instead!!! Some people want all that.
Anyway, the key, like you said, is not forcing it to happen. Doesn’t matter if it’s babies or girlfriends or fantasy-inducing threesomes…the best thing to do is enjoy being happy in the moment…even if it’s only a twosome for now. I learned that from The Power Of Now and this very cool blog I read by one very cool Melody Fletcher. You may have heard of her.
Thanks Derrek,
You’re so right. These principles are applicable to any situation. You can read an answer about pregnancy and have an insight on how to finally have that tricycle.
Keep focusing Grasshopper. God does want you to have that threesome. 😆
Hugs!
Melody
Hey AB,
Another very powerful question. And it’s going to get a bit abstract here, but I promise to make sense of it all (or at least try)
Here’s the thing: Time doesn’t really exist. It’s part of our perception, and it makes it easy for us to explain our evolution (we evolve as time goes by, so therefore, time is a way to measure our energetic evolution), but it’s just not very important.
So, when you determine that something HAS to happen by a certain date, it’s kind of arbitrary. You’re placing importance on a detail that doesn’t really mean anything. Why do you want to have a child in June? Why must it be in June? Now, let’s say that you want to have the baby in June because you don’t want to be pregnant in the height of summer, because your cousin is getting married in August and you want to not be highly pregnant for that, or that it fits into your life in some other way. then, you would want to focus on those reasons instead of determining the HOW of how you’d get those things, namely, the baby having to be born in June.
You can determine details, even when it comes to other people, but you have to focus on the core of what you actually want, not on what you think needs to happen in order for you to get what you want. The Universe can bring you whatever you desire. But if you say “I want a baby in June” when what you’re vibrating is “I don’t really believe that LOA works, but if my baby comes in June, I suppose that I could see that as proof”, then your baby will most likely not come in June. In fact, you’ll be hard pressed to notice any synchronicities at all, because you’re not lined up with that. Do you see the difference? If having that baby in June is the easiest way for you to get what you truly want, and you are aligned with what you want, then June it will be.
Ok, it’s not that you can’t think about pregnancy. The key is in how you feel when you do. Generally, if you’re obsessed with getting pregnant and you are feeling horrible about it, backing off is a great first step. You remove yourself from the ugly feeling vibration and go raise your energy using a different subject. But you don’t have to stay off the subject of pregnancy forever. You just can’t get pregnant while feeling like you can’t get pregnant.
Enjoy this journey, all the tasks you are doing, the doctor’s visits. Know that the baby will come when he’s ready. Allow yourself to feel good about the process.
You said that you would not have been ready for a specialist months ago, but now you are. And you manifested a specialist that you feel good about. That’s a manifestation! One you weren’t ready for months ago (which is why it didn’t feel right then). Because you’re more aligned with the baby now, a solution that you can believe (path of least resistance) has come into your life. Rejoice! But relax and enjoy the process.
Thanks for your great questions!
Huge hugs,
Melody
I was thinking along the same lines as Tess, about the fact that there are folks not meant to share their life with “their” baby. I thought I would never produce a baby or get married, but I always knew I would adopt. I did get married, produced 2 surprise children and adopted one. Life happens when one is doing other things? My neighbor is so happy that a child never happened for her – in hindsight, she was fairly desperate at the time – there is some wise energy out and about – trust what you get.
I do like these short question posts.
Hi Patricia,
It’s really not so much about being “meant” to do something or not. It’s more about what you ultimately want if sharing your life with a child facilitate that. Having children, whether or not they came from you biologically, can bring clarity, joy, and enlightenment. They are incredible teachers and they provide huge numbers of opportunities for growth, experience and happiness.
And you are so right: Trust what you get. It is what you wanted, or will lead you to what you wanted, even if you don’t quite recognize it yet.
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective here!
Huge hugs!
Melody
I certainly do appreciate your replies – this was very enlightening and just triggered a number of interesting thoughts and ideas Thank you
I find pleasure in the thoroughness of your presentation on the web. Meaning you have these various other posts and articles you refer people to. I do wince when you keep on using the word “good” though I do feel the strength of your light and caring and responsibility and courage and stamina and respect and kindness and creativity and your hard work and dedication to the upliftment of resonance and the alignment with what each person is questioning about.
I got totally into the pregnancy question and the fact in general that you are even answering things like that, that you have system set up for people to interact with you that way. I got into it means that the experience of really wanting something over and over on a monthly basis or any other time period and then “thinking” and “feeling” it does not show up and that happening over and over. That kind of fine tuning of really really important matters when consciously creating reality or whatever we call it is so rare to be part of an actual discussion about it.
And such the perfect topic for that example. And then you just get right in there and start tuning into the spiritual being that you feel is already there, the FEMALE and start calling her her and wow that part was wow wow wow. That is what I was thinking, that baby is a soul, a spirit and they are already starting their relationship! Start talking to the daughter to be about her new body and your new life together and take the time to plan that out on the inner plane with some loa together! Some way super duper inner world workings together. Wow, thrilling lady not yet born. IMHO
Hey JoreJj,
Thank you for your kind words.
You know, words don’t really matter all that much. It’s the intention behind them, what you’re feeling, that matters. The word “good” may have an association for you that it does not have for me. It’s all good. 😉
We tend to think of the physical and non-physical as separate beings, but that’s not the case. We can tap into the energy of those who are non-physical just as we can tap into the energy of the physical. We just don’t know that we can, and that makes it harder to do.
When I connected with the person who asked the question, I translated the energy of the baby as a “she”. That doesn’t necessarily mean that she’ll have a girl, it was just my interpretation of that energy. There’s not really any gender in the non-physical, but it’s easier for our brains to comprehend the consciousness we are connecting with as male or female.
But I cannot even really describe the joy that comes through when I connect with an unborn child. They are SOOOOO eager to be here, SO joyful, so full of positive expectation, SO excited to come. That’s why there’s no stopping them. They are fully aligned and they will line up with what they want, no matter what. They will come in when they want to come in. 🙂
Huge hugs!
Melody
Dear Melody, I appreciate the clarification about the spiritual sensing of the unborn child. Thank you. As for words don’t really matter I completely agree. Then again, words are program triggers and we live in an illusion that is so much about our bodies. And our bodies are program triggered. The true spiritual beings that we are indeed flow freely in our true nature with a kind of feeling that is pure love and bliss. And interacting with the mind and thoughts is yet so so important for living a wonderful life. So here I am to say further that I wince when I hear you say the word good because that word does tap into in my opinion an entire system of collective meaning beyond your personal and my personal interpretation of it. In fact I don’t honestly think that any body that uses the word is really making the effort to say what they feel that word means and they are instead putting forth a kind of feeling that gets strongly deflected and numbed out by the packaging of the word good that it gets delivered in.
Good and Bad are to me connected to a reward and punishment system that is wide-spread and that I hope melts away into something new and more wonderful. Something where people are free and skilled to define with words what their pleasure, joy, happiness, and love are, what they are eager, excited, enthusiastic and optimistic about sharing with hope and trust.
I am a great advocate of the new world that exists beyond good and bad:) A world of feeling as you indicate feeling, a world where words are valued and treasured for their ability to convey feeling, and a world where those feelings are valued and treasured as much as who we are.
With Love Itself, and fun and joy and enthusiasm,
JoreJj Z. Elprehzleinn
I want to add this especially due to the link to Marshall Rosenbergs site regarding non-violent communication:
good and bad is part of a global reward and punishment system and advocating change by describing the meaning of good and bad and steering clear of their collective triggering power.
http://www.cnvc.org/
That is the site of THE person Marshall Rosenberg who most powerfully influenced my thinking on the matter, and then as I said I had a direct visit with my higher self and the actual three sisters called FATE, FORTUNE, and DESTINY who incredibly powerfully convinced me in less than a minute to show great caution when using the word GOOD in relationship with LOA or conscious reality creation.
Hey JoreJj,
Thanks for the link. I totally agree that for many people, the word “good” has a lot of baggage attached to it. However, :), so do many, many other words. And if I were to try and change the world (which I totally am) by avoiding any words or topics that might have baggage, I would be silent. Which, as anyone who has ever met me can tell you I am not. 😉
It’s my belief that I can be of more benefit by using the word good WITHOUT the baggage, then I am perpetuating a different version of it, one that feels lighter and better. I like to take the negative charge out of words, because that’s just a matter of perception. I don’t want to live my life in avoidance of that which triggers me. I want to eliminate the triggers within myself.
That being said, if the word good triggers someone, they should not use it until they’ve cleared it. Perpetuating something that causes negative emotion doesn’t serve anyone. But it does serve us to clear it, because declaring certain words to be ok or not ok, gives energy to the idea that it’s possible for anything to not be ok. And energetically, that’s just not true. Our higher selves do not experience the judgement that we do.
And yep, I’m aware that we’re kind of splitting hairs here. But isn’t it spectacular that we’ve come to the point where we’re discussing something as subtle as the usage of the word good? Yay!
Happy shiny puppy hugs!
Melody
So here is another word for you. Concede. Actually that is me conceding to your awesome goodness and the absolutely orgasmic fun of interacting with your sites and the energy you provide here. Thank you Melody for being such a strong and enjoyable presence.
With Love Itself, and always in love,
JoreJj Z. Elprehzleinn
You’re welcome.
😆
Huge hugs!
Melody
Melody,
Don’t you think that sometimes it’s not one’s soul purpose to have a baby?
Hey Tess,
Our soul’s purpose is to have experiences and to feel joy. That’s it. We do set intentions before we come, but they are general. We can fulfill those intentions with or without a baby.
There’s a little bit of a false premise in your question – and that is that your soul’s desires and your desires are different and can be at odds with each other. That’s not the case. Your soul’s desires inspire your desires and your desires inspire your soul’s. You are one and the same, not two different entities and you get to decide in each moment what you want and what you don’t want.
Is it possible to not want a baby for years and then suddenly to be inspired to that desire? Yes. Why? Because having that baby suddenly became the path of least resistance for you to get what you want.
I hope that makes sense. What a fantastic question! 🙂
Huge hugs!
Melody
That’s interesting…
I’m writing in response to the pregnancy issue. There are many retreats and other get-away’s that cater specifically to women in this situation. While each one does it a bit differently, they all create an environment where the women learn to care for themselves more effectively, drop the guilt and give themselves a break. Their who mission is to do what you said – stop thinking about it. The thinking that’s creating the block is “why am I NOT getting pregnant???” You get what you ask for.
When I decided that I wanted to have a baby, I went through two miscarriages. While they sucked, I didn’t dwell on them or mourn or anything. Sometimes I think that friends and family thought worse of it than I did. We just kept trying, knowing that it would happen when it was supposed to.
I now have three beautiful children. And the crazy thing is that each one of them was conceived when my husband and I were at some of the lowest points in our relationship. We’re amazingly happy now and have learned to deal with the issues we faced then.
And for those thinking that they’re running out of time, I had our kids when I was 36, 38 and 42.
I completely agree with your advice to stop stressing, worrying, focusing and obsessing about getting pregnant. As soon as you turn all that off and focus on other wonderful things in your life, a new life will magically appear when you least expect it.
Thank you so much Paige! Your experience and wisdom will help a lot of people, I’m sure (because not just women stress about pregnancy…)
Super huge hugs for you!!!
Melody
omg, Melody, just saw my above comment on the page — I enjoy being flippant but did not at all intend the MF acronym to suggest anything other than your name (you know, such as a common profanity hurled about here casually in my home country, the U.S.)
Ooops! And sorry! And maybe I’ll just read from the sidelines till I get my subconscious in better alignment!
Evan
Ahahahahahahaha! Priceless. I honestly didn’t read it that way until you pointed it out, even though it’s not the first time that’s come to mind. That’s priceless and you honestly don’ t have anything to worry about. The day I get offended is the day I rejoice. Because I’ll have found something to release (and when I release something, really good shit happens!).
You are clearly aligned with my funny bone.
Thanks for the laughs,
Melody
Hey MF —
What resonated for me, Melody, was not any particular question but how VERY much I adore what you do here in these quick Q&A posts. You tackle difficult questions, you do not mitigate the anguish behind the question, and you move quickly and sure-footedly into a lighter-feeling space with your answers.
It’s greatly appreciated —
Evan
Hey Evan,
Thank you so much for your kind words. You know, I don’t really see the questions as difficult anymore. They are just questions that apply to real life. Of course, its so much easier to see the answer when I’m not the one stuck in the question… LOL.
I appreciate you for being here, too.
Huge hugs!
Melody
yes, exactly !!
melody, you dont ‘mitigate the anguish’ behind the question with superficial sugar coated crap ! and yu dont make the asker feel silly 🙂
id know, for youve answered my questios too !
also a did a double take at the ‘MF’. too funny 😀
Thanks so much Shbni! I really appreciate your kind words. 🙂
Yeah.. no sugar coated crap here. Sugar coated happy shiny puppies, maybe, but no crap. 😆
Huge hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody,
I love these short answer posts! Thank you!
The middle question about the job resonated especially with me. Volunteering at an animal shelter, I would tense up whenever a potential adopter entered, thinking, “Please adopt, please adopt, please adopt!” My attempt to mentally urge was actually blocking the outcome I desired! I started instead to visualize all the doors opening and all the dogs pouring out into the arms of hundreds of waiting families, each dog finding his perfect match. Now I’m relaxed and joyful and leave the shelter every day at an even higher vibe than when I came in.
I love your advice to “shine your light” on the happy vision! Woohoo!
Many warm puppy hugs,
Mary Carol
Hey Mary Carol,
That’s wonderful and thanks so much for sharing your shift here on the blog. Dogs generally have a higher vibration that humans do, so if we get out of their way vibrationally and trust that the good will flow, it does. Actually, that works for humans, too. LOL.
Huge hugs!
Melody
The first comment resonated strongly Melody, reminding me of someone very dear to my heart who had three miscarriages ~ that just about broke her heart. She tried various therapies and was told, not much chance. And she stayed convinced she had her daughter, regardless of all the ‘facts’ to the contrary.
Today she has her daughter and an unexpected bonus – a son.
Elle
xoxo
What a wonderful story Elle! Thanks so much for sharing it here! It so perfectly illustrates that our focus, our vibrations, create whatever we want, even the “evidence “would suggest it’s impossible.
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs for you!
Melody
Oh man, my heart goes out to the first questioner and distraction is pretty much the only thing that works. I tried for a very long time to have a baby, and then I got a different perspective on the situation I was in, and I realized WHY I never got pregnant. That little being knew exactly what she was doing. Yes, it was heartbreaking at the time, but I realize now that it would have been a lot harder on both of us in the long run if I had had her sooner. (I haven’t had her yet, but I know I’m going to 🙂 And I love what you’ve said about how you can’t block a baby that wants to be born from being born. That completely resonated with me. My Higher Self, The Universe,(and that little girl) know what I really want, and thanks to you, Melody, I know that my only job is to feel good and receive. 😉
Hey Jenapher!
Thank you so much for adding your valuable perspective. It always means so much more coming from someone who is currently living it and has managed to shift her vibration. These new babies are stubborn. You can’t force them to come before they’re ready and you can’t block them from coming if they want to. You can make yourself miserable in the meantime, though… Or not. 😉
Huge hugs!
Melody