Alice asks: “If you just found a way to feel better, would it just be a band aid solution? Or do you have to always find the root or reason to cure the problem? Does why we were in the situation matter, if we can feel better regardless? Or does this put us at risk of repeating history in the future?”
Here’s my answer:
As long as you truly feel better, and aren’t just pretending to, you’re moving in the right direction.
What is a band aid solution exactly?
If you go to the doctor and he gives you some pain meds, but doesn’t address the underlying cause of the pain, that’s a band aid solution. But to me, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. That band aid solution may well make it possible for you to address the underlying cause, because it allows you to focus (it’s much harder to focus when you’re in pain). So, I would only ever caution against thinking that you’re done once the band aid solution is in place. If an infection is causing the pain, then just taking the painkillers will allow it to keep festering. You’d want to keep looking for the cause and then treat it, even after taking them. But the painkillers themselves offer relief and that’s not a bad thing, either.
Notice that I always advise people to find a way to feel better. And then find a way to feel even better, etc. I advise continuing the journey up the ladder. If you do that, band aid solutions will be useful stepping stones along the path, or rungs on the ladder. Oftentimes, if you try to go for the root of the problem right away, you are attempting a quantum leap.
Go higher to get a better perspective
For example, if I’m feeling really sad (on the very upper range of depression), I’m not in a very high vibrational place in that moment. Since higher vibrations come with clarity (like having a better view from the mountain top than you do down in the valley), lower vibrations are marked by a lack of clarity. This makes being in a lower vibration all the more frustrating. I’m feeling bad, and I’m not even sure why. So the mind, which wants to fix this issue, is stumped and racing around trying to find the answer it can’t see in that very moment. So, looking for a root cause while in a negative emotional space is like trying to see the Grand Canyon while standing in Times Square. It’s just impossible. I have to get a larger perspective and in order to do that, I have to go higher.
If I make it a goal to simply feel better, using any subject, even and especially those not related to the one that’s making me sad, then I am raising my vibration. I am not only going to actually feel better, but eventually, I’ll have risen high enough – I’ll have enough perspective – to be able to figure out WHAT caused the sadness.
Having help vs. going it alone
This is a little different than working with a coach. When I coach people, I stay in a high vibrational place and from that vantage point, I can see the root cause of their issue, even when they can’t and guide them back up to a better feeling place. That’s the value of working with a coach. But if you are doing this yourself, and that’s absolutely possible, then it’s much better to simply focus on feeling better and get some vibrational altitude, if you will, before trying to figure out the root cause.
Continuing on with the example above, here’s what I do (and incidentally, this is exactly what I do when I’ve been triggered by something):
- I go and take a nap. This helps to break the momentum of the energy I have going and helps to redirect me into a better feeling place. I am a champion nap taker.
- I go for a walk or to the gym and have a nice run. I’ve found that physical activity really helps me to feel better. Also, if there’s any anger to be let out, even when I’m not aware of it, intense physical activity really helps to dissipate it.
- I meditate. This gives me access to higher vibrations, as discussed above. (Note: In this case, I do not engage in active meditation. I don’t try to find the answers. My only goal is to feel better.)
- And only once I feel better, do I redirect my focus to whatever made me sad. Or, if I don’t know what made me sad, I redirect to my attention to the feeling and what happened before it came up.
When I follow this method of distraction and redirection before trying to “fix” anything, I allow myself to feel better as quickly as possible. I don’t make feeling better contingent on figuring out the original problem.
History doesn’t have to repeat itself
And then, from my higher vibrational standpoint, I’m always able to figure out what the original thought was and I’m then able to go about shifting it so that I don’t get triggered in the same way again. When the trigger has been disarmed, and it doesn’t matter to me if it happens again or not, then history will not repeat itself.
Is there a faster way?
Do I always have to follow this pattern? In principle, yes. But I’ve had so much practice doing this that I often don’t need to actually take these actions in order to go through the steps. Unless I’ve been triggered in a BIG way, I’m often able to redirect my focus in such a way that I’m able to figure out the cause in minutes or even seconds. Make no mistake, however, I still have to find a higher vibration first in order to get that clarity. I’m just really fast at it, which comes from doing this deliberately over and over and over again.
What about you? What do you do when you’ve been triggered? How do you find your center again when something has made you angry, pissed off, sad or even depressed? Share your experiences in the comments!