In the post You Already Know What Your Purpose Is, I explained that none of us have just one purpose, like an obligation, which we must find in order to be happy. I also made the argument that we all basically already know what our purpose is and always have. But I continue to receive questions from people searching for their life purpose and passion on a very regular basis, so I’ve decided to write about this topic again, this time more specifically.

While I started off with the plan to write one of my mega posts (you know the ones by now), something unexpected happened during the creative process – something that happens to me rather frequently, actually. What started off as a simple article turned into a full blown workbook with exercises and examples.  I had set the intention to answer people’s questions on how to find your purpose, and apparently, this is what y’all want. So, I’ve created a 24-page PDF e-book for you to download, and yes, it’s all free. You’re welcome.

If you’re already on my mailing list, you’ll have received the link to the download in today’s email. If you’re not, then I’m asking you to sign up for the list in order to access the download. You’ll also get access to my free (for now) E-book Deliberate Receiving, which fully explains the Law of Attraction. If you haven’t read that yet (or listened to the audio, which is also free), you’re totally missing out and you should get on that right away.

Ok, back to how you can find your purpose:

First of all, I’d like to explain that this is not some exercise you can knock out in an afternoon.  The internet is full of such techniques and exercises and if they worked, you wouldn’t be reading this post right now. This is more like a process of discovery, one that never really ends. This is because…

Your purpose can and will change

Or rather, how you realize your purpose can and most likely will change over time. What do I mean by that? Well, while most people who are searching for their purpose are looking for something very specific, like what kind of business they should open, or a particular job description, it’s actually much more general than that. And as you grow and change and figure out more of the details of what you want and don’t want, the activities that allow you to realize your passion will morph to fit all that new criteria (providing you allow that). In simpler terms, as you grow and evolve (which you’re always doing, you can’t help it), the jobs and hobbies that make you happy will grow and evolve along with you. Activities that used to ring your bells may no longer do so. You begin to lose interest in some things, and discover a passion for others.

Your actual purpose is general

Because the way your purpose can manifest will change over time, it’s much better and ultimately more successful to focus on your general core purpose rather than specific jobs or activities that may fit it. I’ll use myself as an example.

My own purpose is to be a teacher, to help others, to uplift others, and to be a happy shiny puppy. Notice how general these terms are. I didn’t say what kind of teacher, or how I’d uplift others, or what kind of help I should provide.

I’ve manifested this purpose in very different ways in my life. As a restaurant and later technology manager, I was primarily a teacher. As a waitress in my teens and as a casino dealer later, I was an uplifter (cheering people up just by being cheery myself) and helper (assisting however I could). I also volunteered at an animal shelter and I have a long history of making friends with those who no one else would be friends with (I’ve broken this pattern, as it often involved trying to help those whom I could not help). And, apart from some dark periods in my life where my resistance got the better of me, I always tended toward being a happy shiny puppy. Even when I was two years old, I found those on the playground who needed help and befriended them. If someone gave me a piece of candy, I made sure that everyone else got one too. And apparently I could brighten a room pretty much from the day I was born. My “purpose” always shone through loud and clear.

Just because it’s your purpose, doesn’t mean you don’t have to practice

There’s another misconception that I’d like to put to rest: Just because something is your purpose, doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically be a master at all the ways in which you could express it. Rather, it means that

  1. It comes through in pretty much everything you do.
  2. You’re happiest when you allow yourself to pursue the activities aligned with your purpose
  3. When you get it right, when you figure out how to let your purpose flow, you feel a joy and passion that nothing else can give you.

Although it’s my purpose to help others, I wasn’t always very good at it. I tried to help indiscriminately. If I thought that someone needed help (notice that this does not mean that they actually did), I sprung into action. I annoyed a lot of people that way, and it took quite some time before I realized that I couldn’t help everyone, nor did I need to.

It’s also my purpose to teach, but I wasn’t always very good at that, either. Sometimes I’d have raving successes and sometimes I’d have abysmal failures. Again, it took many years before I discerned the difference between the two. I was often trying to teach those that didn’t want to learn from me. And although I did seem to have a natural talent for breaking things down, over time, I got a hell of a lot better at it (and I will continue to).

I have also always translated energy, only I wasn’t aware of it. So, sometimes people would hang on every word I’d say (the attention of which I’d love). And sometimes they’d disregard me completely. In an attempt to get that attention (and feel the flow, but I wasn’t consciously aware of that part then), I’d say pretty much anything that came into my mind. I lacked the ability to discern what was important or channeled, and what was just the result of my random thoughts. So, I just verbalized every thought. It was kind of like using a machine gun to hit a bulls eye.

And, I was not a happy shiny puppy my entire life. I started off that way, got sucker punched by the reality around me, reacted to it, and hit some really dark times. But my core intention to be happy (which, by the way, everyone has) eventually won out. I found ways to be silly and joyful in the most unlikely ways (and not always considered appropriate in the school or corporate system).

But even though I wasn’t all that great at any of these skills, every once in a while I’d get one right. I’d uplift someone with my words (often when I wasn’t even trying, which is when the energy and wisdom flowed), I’d teach someone something that really helped them, I’d say or do something that truly helped someone, or I’d become aware of the fact that I’d just made someone feel better. And each time I’d have a win like that, I felt a rush of energy – passion, love, happiness, satisfaction. It just felt so RIGHT. I wanted more of that feeling and little else in my life could compare to it.

Your purpose can (and will) be expressed through any activity

I got better at all of these skills because I continuously pursued activities that incorporated them, often without even realizing it. I’ve had more jobs than I have fingers and toes, worked in 4 major career fields, been everything from a graveyard shift waitress to the Head of Operations, and I incorporated one or more of my purpose skills into each job. I found a way to manifest my purpose everywhere I went, or rather, my purpose always shone through.

And each job I had gave me the opportunity to refine my skills, to get better at teaching, reading energy, and uplifting (if you can cheer up a drunk dude from whom you’ve just “taken” $200.000, you can cheer up anyone). Each experience brought me closer to where I am today – a place where I can consciously incorporate my purpose into my work, and do so in a way that is almost always wildly successful. If it hadn’t been for all of those other jobs and experiences, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I could not have done what I do now when I was 20. At that time, I had WAY too much resistance and insecurities to notice the subtle difference between someone who’s nearly ready to be helped and someone who is ready. I couldn’t differentiate between those who were a match to my help and those who weren’t. It’s like I was painting houses with a paint sprayer and now I’m using a tiny brush to paint masterpieces. I simply didn’t have the skill or the knowledge or the awareness necessary to work at the level at which I do now.

We are always manifesting ways to improve our Core Purpose Skills

I did, however, get drawn to the perfect job at each moment of my life to teach me what I was ready to learn at that very moment. Over time, I was perfectly prepared to be here, right now, and I’m certain that I’m continuing to prepare perfectly for whatever’s next.

So you see, being a manager, or a dealer, or a technical sales person, or an Assistant manager at a jewelry store, or an English teacher, or Operations Head was not my purpose. All of those jobs (and many others) helped me to act out different aspects of my purpose and become better at them. And that process will continue for the rest of my life.

Ok, now that I’ve told you a bit of my own story in order to illustrate my point, let’s get down to brass tacks. If you, at this moment, have no idea what your purpose is and are desperately searching for what you “should be doing”, here’s my advice on how to figure out your next move.

Step 1 – Stop looking

If you’re looking for a specific activity that will ring your bells and you’re coming up empty, stop looking. Your purpose is general and so, if you want to line up with and receive some clarity, you need to focus generally. Stop doing what isn’t working.

Step 2 – Look for a pattern

Make a list of all the jobs you’ve ever had, all the activities you’ve been a part of (like clubs, hobbies, etc.) and write down what you liked about them and what you didn’t like about them. For each job or activity, explore the following:

1.)  Think back and remember which experiences you had that filled you with joy or a sense of great satisfaction. These events can be small and may at first seem insignificant. Don’t just focus on things like winning awards. It could be when you had a conversation with someone that made you feel great, or when you finished a project and were really happy with how you did it. In fact, the most significant events will often be those where you tried the least but which somehow just flowed and worked out.

a. What aspects of the event gave you the greatest sense of satisfaction?

b. Why? What did this make you want more of?

2.) Remember the incidents that brought you the most frustration. When something didn’t go well, or you weren’t successful, what frustrated you the most?

a. What went wrong?

b. What would you have wanted to have happen instead?

Now, try to look for patterns – core intentions (like teaching or helping, etc.) that show up again and again. I’d like to stress that you will almost certainly need more than an afternoon to do this properly. Take a few days and let the memories come. As they do, write them down and look for patterns as you go. (The workbook will make this easy for you, with more explanations and examples).

Step 3 – Identify the core purpose skills and focus on them

Once you’ve identified some aspects or skills of your core purpose, it’ll be easy for you to see how they’ve shown up again and again in your life.

Now, at this point, you could simply trust that your purpose will continue to come through no matter what you do (do you see how the details aren’t nearly as important as you thought?), but that would most likely be kind of an unsatisfactory answer. So, here’s how to deliberately increase how much passion you feel in your life:

Figure out what you are doing RIGHT NOW in your life that is letting some of that purpose shine though. If your purpose is to help others, for example, how are you doing that now? And remember, there are infinite ways to help others. You don’t have to be a firefighter.

Step 4 – Figure out how successful you are at expressing your purpose right now

Determine if it feels mostly good when you are trying to help others or if it’s still hit and miss. You can now deliberately dissect why some instances are hit and why some are miss. For example, I noticed that I often helped the most successfully when it happened inadvertently – when I wasn’t even really trying. And that the harder I tried, the less successful my attempts were. Over time, I learned to relax and follow my intuition, instead of trying to push my help onto everyone indiscriminately.

Step 5 – Release the obstacles

When I stopped trying to help everyone, I had a lot of discomfort – especially when I saw someone in need. I wanted to help and the idea that I couldn’t tore me apart. Again, over time, I realized that in order to be comfortable with helping only those whom I could actually help, I had to drop the belief that it was my obligation to help everyone. In fact, it wasn’t my obligation to help anyone at all; it was my intention. I wanted to help; I didn’t need to. I figured out that no one could help everyone (not even Jesus or Buddha could), and that trying to do so was trying to do the impossible. I wasn’t ever going to be successful. And so, I dropped this belief. I realized that there were plenty of people whom I could help, and that if I could find a way to let those people come to me, I’d cut down my failure rate to nearly zero (there’s always more to learn, and those “failures” help us to evolve).

The process of becoming better at expressing my purpose caused me to release the resistance I had that made it harder for me to do so.

It’s a life long journey

Figuring out your core purpose is relatively easy. Finding ways to express that purpose and becoming really good at it, that’s a life long journey.  You can speed this journey up by working on it deliberately (as described above), which simply means you can get to the point where you feel that you are successfully realizing your purpose much faster. You will always continue to evolve and so will the ways in which you express your passion.

Don’t worry too much if the exercises aren’t totally clear. The Workbook gives more explanation on each and provides examples for each step so you know exactly what’s being asked of you. I’m so freaking excited about this! I sat down to write a blog post, which normally takes me 1-2 hours, and woke up 8 hours later with, well, this.

You can get access to this workbook HERE.

Not only will you get immediate access to the workbook, but all the rest of the free resources inside the LOA Vault! 

Now it’s your turn: Was this post helpful to you? Do you now feel that you understand what your purpose really is or how to go about finding it? Or do you already know what your purpose is? I look forward to receiving your feedback in the comments, or via email.

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    • Hey Gary,
      Sorry it took a while to reply. It’s been really busy around here over the holidays. Yes, the workbook is now part of the LOA Vault, which contains a ton of tools, including a whole video course for free. You can sign up for that course on the homepage and all the free resources will be inside the dashboard. I’ll make sure to update this page to reflect that ASAP.

  • Hi Melody!! THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!!! This helped tremendously! You are an amazing woman! I want, so badly, to find my life purpose and now I believe I can. This article has helped me to realize that I’m trying to hard and that I need patience. I cannot wait to get started on the workbook! You have so much information here, on your website, that I’m afraid I’m never going to do anything else but read your “stuff”! I’ll have to be pried out of my chair! : ) Thank you again, especially for all of this wonderful wisdom that you have shared for FREE!! I almost feel bad getting all the benefits from your kind, generous, funny, intelligent teachings for nothing!?? You just do not find this anywhere. I believe in you and will be a lifetime supporter! Much appreciation to you….~Sharon~

  • Hi Melody, I did not forget you! And I really appreciate you sending me that wonderful imformation, am presently very involved with some projects changing my life and what I want, I use to do this when I was a young woman, and I did not know, what it really was, and my family members and my peers always use to tell me, some what begrudgingly, I was an espiring artist , I studied the ballet and other dance tap the works, I was inspired by I think the Black Swan, and of course Swan Lake, my parents allowed me to be creative and what ever I had an interest in they would support me in what ever I had an interest in. Most of the jobs that I had, was always something that I was interested in and I would read and and study the imformation apply for the position, take the test, and I got the job. after readings some things about The Law of Attraction, I have been on the move creating and changing trans forming my life, there is no going back! I looking for a house to rent! 2bedroom with a pool and walled like the Spanish housendas, I do not have the money but I strongly believe the universe has every thing that I want and need , Plus I am a giver, the Law of Resprosity, I always give an encouraging word and a smile, and my reality is not the reality of other people, I do not get caught in other people’s Stuff that they made, I am on board, so I am now a part of your following I really love your approach to the subject of universal Laws, you mmake it fun! and not boreing tring to extract some golden nuggets. so I have got to dash out before the Sun gets to Hot! Have a wonderful day! i will be reading your imformation this week end can”t wait, CHOW !

  • Ok, so now I have been giving this thing a go for a long time now, still very similar answers…no clue…I did the exercises, they are similar to aptitude tests, and this took hours.

    I didn’t write some things down, or my hand will break off, also I get blocked and swamped in it.

    But when just looking at likes and dislikes about every single hobby and job, I got very similar answers to what I’ve always known.

    This workbook takes forever, and honestly I didn’t enjoy or think it was that much better tha aptitude test.

    I still feel really lost, and almost suicidal.

    • Then you are not ready to get this specific. You have to change course in a more general way.

      Get angry. That’s going to be my answer every freaking time.

      Every. Freaking. Time.

      Huge hugs,


      • Well, then maybe record a hypnosis or something that says these things for thick-skulled (or thick vibrationed) people like me, that you want to hit with a mallet, because I am so thick, ask the same questions, and am so stuck, but can’t seem to get the message, you want to whack me with the mallet, but then you see the pain is real, so you want to help, so then you think you could get an inflatable mallet and hit with that, or just squeeze my face really hard…out of love!

        It would literally be a broken record, you do it with gritted teeth: feel better, focus on something better, feeling suicidal??Well get angry! Then feel better, feeel….oh they aren’t even listening!
        Let’s brink in the mallet (branded by acme) “Alice hitter” for the most stubborn student in your life, the one we all love to hate!

        And it has a box and everything. πŸ™‚

        Thank you so much.

        Actually your book was really good, I meant that just not for me. I would recommend it, as that’s pretty good questions.

  • I can’t seem to download the workbook. I am subscribed and it was sent to my email and I think I accidently deleted it. Is there another way I can download the workbook?? πŸ™‚ Thanks a bunch!

  • Hiya Melody,

    This post and the next, ‘Having everything and still not being happy’ are just so tied. Doing what you think you’re SUPPOSED to do can feel dreadful. And when you force yourself into a situation like that, you often do bury feelings of discontent. And while your at it, anything else you want to do, but believe you can’t, gets buried so deep that you have a hard time finding them again.

    Then when you finally let yourself out of your self imposed lifestyle, you have a very hard time figuring out not just what you want to do, but how to get truly excited about things again. You spent so long trying to force yourself not to feel bad doing something you didn’t want to do, that you have become an expert at pretending you like things. And you also get good at forcing yourself to do those things, so you have a habit of staying with things even when you really find they no longer intrigue: ‘I started it damn-it, so I better finish it!’

    Your a habitual naysayer when it comes to listening to your feelings, because they were so annoying and painful while you were doing all that ‘supposed to’ stuff. Horrible habit! My mind isn’t quite open, but it’s got a crack!

    • What a wonderful description of how many people keep themselves stuck right where they are! I’m sure this will give a lot of people an AHA moment or two. πŸ™‚

      I didn’t actually plan on writing these posts this way. The link between them only became apparent once I was done with the Happiness Post. I love how perfect everything is! πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • You’ve described my life exactly. I’ve always known that I was supposed to be a teacher. I used to search for jobs that would allow me to express that but realized that was kind of silly. I’m always teaching, no matter what job I’m in or what I’m doing. I’ve been helping/coaching others since I was in junior high, primarily by accepting others for who they were when no one else did.

    My intuition has sent me on some amazing adventures. When I look back, I was always expressing myself in similar ways – teaching and helping. Waitress, auditor, accountant, executive, ranch manager, horse trainer, blogger… I completely agree with you that the job titles don’t matter. Our true essence will always express itself as long as we allow it. And that’s when we feel the happiest. Knowing all this creates a great sense of freedom as well.

    • LOL Paige. Sounds like we’re two of a kind! I love that you’ve also had so many weird and different jobs. It’s almost easier to see the pattern when you’ve had such variety. You can see how your purpose came through in a variety of situations and that makes it even more clear.

      Isn’t it wonderful to realize that we really can’t get it wrong? πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • I love the way you analyze this, Melody. I have always embrace change and i am happy to think that I’ve found a purpose at different stages in life. Sometimes it has involved changing work profile. I must say I’ve loved all the ups and downs.

    I know that keeping an open mind and being ready to face things will almost always bring great results.

    Beautifully written. Much love and deliriously happy shiny puppy hugs to you!

    • Thanks so much Vidya,

      This was quite a revelation for me, too, when I had it. The idea that nothing in my life had been wasted, that every moment had been perfection and had always led me to where I ultimately wanted to go took so much pressure and guilt and resentment off of me. I had never made a mistake! Even the seemingly bad decisions had pushed me forward. It was so freeing. I’m glad that message resonated so deeply. πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • I can so relate to your journey Melody. As a recovering rescuer and fixer, I recognize some of your steps so well on this path of life and purpose.

    I still remember the relief I felt when I discovered there was only one master of the universe and it wasn’t me! But the worse thing I discovered about my ‘fixing’ habit was that rather than empowering the ‘fixee’ I was actually keeping them in the prison of not knowing they were hugely powerful beings in their own right.

    Still, I must confess it’s a bit like having a tiger by the tail, there are times when I can feel my old rescuing ways upon me… but I’ve learned to turn to using the laws of consciousness which operate so much more easily and effortlessly.

    I love that you’ve found ways to live your purpose and expand it for the benefit of us all Melody. You’re pretty remarkable kiddo.


    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Elle. I totally agree with you. I saw the arrogance of trying to help everyone. First of all, the idea that I could help EVERYONE (different perspective on thinking I HAD TO help everyone) was ridiculous. And it’s actually a bit condescending to look at someone as though they need help. It does deny just how powerful they are. Now, I see it as them manifesting their own help through me (or someone else). I participate in the game because I want to, not because I have to. It’s my choice, not my obligation and if I don’t play, someone else will. This perspective not only feels better, but it allows the energy to flow freely and has led to some absolutely stunning encounters.

      Huge happy shiny puppy hugs for you!

  • Like that you say that your purpose will change. This is true, life is full of changes and you must accept them and deal with the hands that life gives you. Excellent post. Quite inspiring.

  • Keen to read this. For the first time I’m not in the mood. Too much focus on your blog for weeks and weeks.
    Getting bored for now of myself and all that focus!

    Will read later-I do need this! πŸ™‚

    Only thing is I have to say the cover looks cheesy! Sorry. That’s the first semi-insult I’ve ever given in my hundreds of comments.
    Why do new age books always have this type of cover? That’s what turned me from the Intuition Principle–the cover!! Always the women smiling their heads off in some natural place wearing a cult-robe or white dress.
    Ah, I’m the only one that thinks like this. I could keep my comment to myself but I thought it was amusing.

    I know the content will be great!!!!! Thanks Melody.

    • Go with what you feel, Alice. You don’t want this stuff to become an obligation or chore. Read it when you want to. πŸ™‚

      I appreciate your feedback. I wanted an image that conveyed that feeling you get when you have a moment of huge clarity. When things start to make sense. That kind of “YES!” feeling. For me, this image conveys that.

      Having said that, I’m clearly not a graphic artist, and so there will always be quite a bit of room for improvement. What kind of image would you have chosen?

      Huge hugs!

      • I love the book! It’s so clear and straightforward. Yes.

        Reading your words, I remembered many years ago when a phrase came into my mind, “Illuminate life.” It think it was when I was writing my first book. I’m still having a blast exploring all the possibilities and ramifications of this simple phrase – it’s my purpose!

        Giant shiny hugs,

        Mary Carol

  • What a lovely, excellent post! And right on the heels of the post about our path in life. Perfect timing and a natural continuation on this work in progress called our life! πŸ™‚

    So, nothing is essentially wasted. Nothing. All our jobs and experiences are building blocks for our purpose. It’s all part of the road, with it’s bends, loops, hills, etc.

    Thanks Melody for providing this useful tool!

  • Cooool, I hated workbooks in school & now they’re awesome! lol

    In regards to life purpose, I’ve come across several people who preach that we came into this life with a purpose or purposes & although we have free will & can manifest what we want along the way, it will feel best when we are going in the direction of our purpose that we chose before we came here. At first, that felt kind of limiting & not right, but at the same time, I felt that if we follow our desires & what feels good than that would guide us to this purpose(s) that we decided beforehand anyway so that view really isn’t limiting at all because if life is about feeling good & being happy, going towards that purpose will bring those feelings. Like you, I don’t believe in contracts or limitations, but do you believe that we choose a specific purpose before we come into the physical?

    • Hey Mike,

      I do believe that we set intentions before birth. But I believe these intentions are very general. So, our purpose is not to marry Joe Schmoe and get a job as an accountant at XYZ company. It’s more like “Bring others joy” or “Express creativity”. It’s more like having a certain talent that can be expressed in a myriad of ways and how you express it may change. You may paint for a few years and then sculpt and then take up dance… Or, you may pain the whole time, but your style and technique will evolve and change drastically.

      When you focus on the general purpose that rings your bells, the specifics that best match that purpose at that particular time will fill in. Later, you may have access to different specifics. But it’s not up to you to focus on what the specifics might be. Let them manifest. πŸ™‚

      I hope that makes sense.

      Huge hugs!

      • In regards to that making sense, I’ll put it this way….

        (& this is a compliment πŸ˜‰ my desire to visit other LOA blogs has become almost non-existent because you make things sound so good (which they should be), I don’t even want to know what others are saying on the topic lol

  • i have been waiting for this post for a very long time so i have the right to comment first on this post. πŸ™‚ (just saying)

    i am so excited that i have not read the article but commented first .
    now i will read it.

    thank you so much mell. for this. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

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