Nay asks, “How do you manifest unhappiness, or discontent when you don’t know what is making you unhappy? You’ve attracted everything you thought you wanted, but you just don’t seem to be finding the joy or happiness you thought you would. You have the spouse, the kids, the house, the neighborhood, got rid of the job you hate, done so many things, you name it, but you’re not content or happy. And I know ‘things’ don’t make you happy, so what’s missing?

How do you manifest unhappiness when you don’t know why you’re unhappy, or even feel as though you’re focusing on it? How do you manifest something when you aren’t focused on it?”

This is such an excellent question. It will allow me to explore two really big concepts

Is it possible to be focused negatively without knowing it?

First, I’d like to answer the question, can we be negatively focused on something and not even know it? Can we be manifesting unwanted things (that make us feel unhappy) into our experience and not know how we’re doing it?

The answer to that is a big, fat, hairy YES. Of course we can. In fact, that’s what most people are doing all day long. “But, isn’t that just because they’re unaware that their thoughts and vibration create their reality? Is it still possible to not know what you’re really focused on when you get how reality creation actually works?”, I can hear you asking. Again, that would be a big, fat, hairy YES (I’ve used all CAPS, so you know I really mean it).

Habitual beliefs can blend into the background

Many of our beliefs have been with us since our early childhood, and many more were picked up vibrationally at birth. We didn’t actually personally form every one of our beliefs ourselves. Many were handed down to us by our families and society as a whole. And we didn’t have to be taught to think this way with words or by example – we mostly soaked up the frequencies of the beliefs around us like little sponges. This is why a totally modern woman with a great job and a closet filled with power suits can turn into a sobbing mess when her household isn’t perfect. She may not consciously believe that a woman’s main purpose is to keep her house, but an old, antiquated belief system can still be running the show underneath the surface.

When a belief has been with you for many, many years, you often have no idea that it’s there until it manifests. Even the negative emotions it’s causing go undetected – they’ve been with you for years, too. You’re so used to them, you simply can’t discern them anymore. But, as always happens with resistance, if a negative belief is being triggered and you ignore the manifestation of it (which is negative emotion in the first stages), it will manifest in a bigger, grander, louder and more in your face way until it gets your attention.

How do you think illnesses come about? No one is aware of the fact that they’re manifesting something unwanted and then ignores it on purpose until it causes a big, head shaped tumor to sprout of out of the side of their necks. The head shaped tumor is the red flag that finally manages to get their attention. “Yoohoo!”, it’s yelling (possibly literally). “You’ve got something in your vibration that’s not serving you, dahling! Look at me! Do you want this? No? Well, snap out of it, girlfriend!” (For some reason, in my head, the head shaped tumor talks like a campy gay man. Don’t judge me.)

Look at your manifestations

So, if you can’t tell that you have resistance, how are you supposed to release it? Well, you can always just look at your reality. Everything in it is a mirror to your vibration. Is there a lot of stuff that you don’t want? That’s an indicator that you’re focusing in a way (again, often without knowing it) that isn’t serving you. If there’s lots of stuff that you do like, then you’re spending the majority of your time focused in a way that feels good. So, even if you’re not sure what it is that you’re focused upon that’s causing you to manifest the unwanted stuff, you can simply look at what you’re receiving and then determine what you’d like to receive instead. Then, focus all your attention on that. Any resistance you have toward that particular goal will present itself. You’ll either feel it emotionally, or, if that’s too subtle, it will manifest in a specific way. It will be the perfect mirror to your belief, as well as the perfect way for you to overcome that belief. I’ll explore this concept further in another blog post.

But Nay wasn’t really asking about getting rid of a huge, unwanted manifestation, as much as why we might still not be totally happy despite seemingly having all we want. This brings me to my second point, which is WAY more awesome than the first. Seriously, you’ll be glad that you kept reading.

The Great Awakening

So many people are now waking up to the fact that they’re not really happy (which is not necessarily the same thing as being unhappy). It’s not that people are less happy than they used to be, it’s that more and more of us are realizing, perhaps for the first time ever, how NOT happy we are. And we’re becoming less and less tolerant to that lack of joy. This is what the great awakening that we’re going through as a Universe is all about – we’re remembering Who We Really Are, how much fun this is supposed to be, and how good we can actually feel, and we’re no longer willing to settle for less.

So, the question is really less about how we’re manifesting unhappiness and more about how we’re NOT manifesting happiness.

You’ve attracted everything you thought you wanted

First of all, it has to be said that what most people think they want and what they actually want are almost never the same thing. What we think we want is usually a result of years and years of conditioning by our parents, teachers, friends, bosses, the media and society in general. We get told that if we get an education and a good job and a house and a spouse, a couple of kids, a new car and a dog, that we’ll be happy. And then we get all of those things, and happiness still eludes us. What the hell, Universe?

Here’s the thing: They done lied to you, son. None of those things guarantees happiness, nor does lack of them guarantee that you’ll die a miserable, shriveled husk of your former self (single ladies over 40, I’m talking to you!) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to tell you to abandon your hubby in the desert, sell the kids on the black market and buy a Ferrari. While being married with kids and having a life with all the trimmings can’t automatically make you happy, it also can’t automatically make you unhappy. What I’m saying is, all the things you thought were going to make you happy, never had the power to do so. It’s time to rethink the concept of happiness and how we achieve it.

What happiness actually is

Happiness, like all emotions, is an indicator that tells you how aligned you are with the energy of Who You Really Are. To put it another way, Who You Really Are, the non-physical you, has a certain perspective. And the closer you (human you) are to sharing that perspective, the better you feel. This has always been the case, of course. Only, never before in the history of our physical world have we been more aware of these indicators, or less tolerant of not being aligned with our true selves. Because the Global Vibration is always rising and moving faster and faster, we feel it more acutely than ever when we’re not aligned – we’re more sensitive to our misalignment. We have also never wanted happiness as intensely as we want it now, which makes it all the more painful when we’re not quite there.

What are you not expressing?

So, when you aren’t happy, it’s because you’re not fully aligned with the perspective of Who You Really Are. And when you become aware of this lack of happiness, it means that you have the ability to express more of your true self, but you’re not doing it.

In my experience, when someone is suffering from a general sense of dissatisfaction or emptiness, it’s always because they have a pretty insidious case of denial. There’s something they really, really want that they’re not allowing themselves to think about, because for whatever reason, they don’t think they can do it or have it. They’ve been inspired to express Who They Really Are in some way, something that would bring them incredible joy, and they’re not letting themselves go there. Perhaps it’s a business idea that could be seen as risky, or a hobby that they don’t think their friends will approve of, the desire to travel (in this economy!! Gawd forbid!), to create art in some way (be sensible!), or simply to be sillier and play more (oh, grow up!).

When we begin to remember Who We Really Are, and we line up with that perspective, we’re inspired to express that version of ourselves in various ways. Some of those ways can seem scary. They may involve showing others who we’ve evolved into, and we’re not sure that they’ll approve. They may require us to be truly authentic and strip away the layers of fear that we’ve been carrying around like a defensive shield for most of our lives. And when we let fear win, when we stop ourselves from following our inspiration and we continue to hide away our warm, gooey center, and when we make fitting in and being approved of by society (largely made up people we don’t even know) more important than feeling good, we block ourselves from feeling really happy.

Figuring out what you’re in denial about

Is it possible for you to be in denial and not know it? Yes. That may seem like a stupid question, but you wouldn’t believe how many people say something like “If I was suppressing something, I’d know it”, when confronted with the idea that they may not be being totally honest with themselves. Your fear of ridicule or failure or whatever is keeping you from going for what you truly want, may be so strong that it’s blocking off the desire altogether. This is because wanting something and believing that you can’t have it is painful and we often mistakenly believe that if we stop wanting, that the pain will go away. And so, we build a wall around our desire and block it until we forget it’s even there. If only there wasn’t that nagging sense of emptiness or that missing feeling of joy to keep reminding us.

It’s usually that pipedream that we gave up long ago, something that we’ve deemed “ridiculous” or “unrealistic”. But it’s also the perfect way for us to express Who We Really Are. It’s that activity that fills us with more joy than we can really convey with words. That feeling we get when we’re totally in the flow, full of the knowledge that we can do anything we want, when anything and everything seems possible, when the world is on our side. Any outlet that makes us feel like that can’t be ignored without consequences.

Proving yet again that the Universe brings everything together with perfect timing, I’ve been inspired to write this post shortly after receiving the impulse to create a Workbook on How to Find Your Purpose. The processes and exercises in that workbook are perfectly suited for figuring out your passion, no matter what it is. In case you haven’t downloaded it yet, you can read the post on how to find your purpose here. The workbook is totally free. Because I’m super nice like that. 😉

Now it’s your turn. Are you ready to express more of Who You Really Are? What gives you joy? What are you passionate about? What have you not been expressing (note, talking about it here would be a great way to start expressing it…)