Awesome Dude wants to know: “Hi. I have a question that seems quite bizarre to me, but I’m having a hard time understanding it. I have an uncle whom I hadn’t seen for years, and who has just been given 24 hours to live. Sadly, he’s riddled with cancer. Having spent the whole day in the hospital with him yesterday, along with many other family members, something very strange happened. Whilst sitting next to his bed, holding his hand in between both of mine, I felt the urge to squeeze his hand. It was as if something was coming out of my hands into his and travelling up his arm. I felt very breathless, even to the point of hyperventilation. I felt a strange sort of discomfort in my chest. He had not opened his eyes all day, but when this was happening, his eyes were open wide, staring into thin air. After about 3 minutes it came to an end and his eyes closed again. This was all while surrounded by other people in the room that noticed nothing (I don’t think!). He has not yet passed, but I have spent the entire day today with the most dreadful back ache and pains all up the left hand side of my body. I suppose I feel a little embarrassed to mention this to anyone here at home, although I’m wondering what happened. Did I imagine it and am I allowing my imagination to run wild, or have I somehow taken on some of his illness? His primary cancer is in the lung. Could this be at all possible?”
Hey Awesome Dude,
First, let me assure you that you didn’t take on your uncle’s cancer. That’s not possible. But it wasn’t your imagination, either. Here’s what most likely happened, based on what you’ve told me here:
No one likes to see suffering
Even though you hadn’t seen your uncle in a long time, seeing him in his condition clearly had an effect on you. You wanted to help, so much so, that you spontaneously took his hand and started to stream energy towards him. So far, so good. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help, and nothing wrong with making physical contact in order to exchange energy. The very best thing you can do for someone who is suffering is to keep your vibration high and then focus on them through the lens of that higher vibration. Only, that’s not exactly what happened.
Instead of you keeping your vibration nice and stable (which is very hard to do when you’re not even aware of what you’re doing) and then allowing him to match you, you clearly lowered your vibration a bit to match his. Or rather, you probably met each other half way. You could see his response to your energy exchange, so clearly you let some of your higher vibration raise him up. But at some point, you lost your footing and let your vibration slide on down a bit. And THIS is what caused your physical symptoms. You didn’t take on his cancer.
Why did this happen?
At this point, you may be wondering why you’d manifest this experience in the first place. Well, there could be several reasons. You may, for example, have some fear of disease or death that’s manifesting here.
However, you’re clearly sensitive to energy and a naturally gifted healer. This experience may have been a huge opportunity for you to develop your healing abilities in fantastic, Technicolor detail. You may have a fear of “taking on other people’s diseases”, which just surfaced here. This could also be a general fear of losing control. If you’ve had some negative experiences with being affected by other people’s energy, then this would be quite natural.
Perhaps you have a pre-birth intention to be some kind of healer or teacher, and this experience showed you that (plus, what you still need to learn to do that kind of work without hurting yourself.)
Healing without taking on the suffering
There is a way to heal others without taking on their lower vibration. You have to become detached. Family members and others you care deeply about are hardest to detach from, and many healers and shamans refuse to work on those they love, precisely because they can’t achieve 100% detachment with their loved ones. But it is possible to learn to stabilize your vibration to the point where you can help others without it affecting you negatively.
In short, you must learn to stay in a good feeling place, no matter how much pain they’re in. You have to learn to connect with their higher selves, that part of them that doesn’t experience illness or pain and give that all of your attention and love. If you can stay connected to that part of them, they will be affected by your energy, but you won’t take on theirs.
What can you do now?
Of course, you don’t have to heal anyone, if you don’t want to; there’s no obligation here. But this kind of incident does point to a natural affinity for healing, so it’s something you may want to look into.
In the meantime, here’s what you can do to feel better now:
- Stop freaking out. The only way you’ll get cancer from this is to be super afraid that you’ve somehow given yourself cancer. Your back pain is the manifestation of your resistance. Cancer was your uncle’s manifestation of his resistance. Your resistance is not the same and your manifestations are not the same.
- Realize that this may very well have been a really good thing – a sign of things to come, loaded with information on what you should focus on in order to get ready (if you choose to).
- Meditate. Don’t focus on the pain or on your fear around it. Do what you can to calm your mind and let go of these thoughts. If you’re not sure how to meditate, this article will teach you a simple but very effective technique.
- Raise your vibration any way you can. Meditation will help a lot with this, but so will playing video games, or taking a walk, or reading a trashy novel or anything that makes you feel better. Distract yourself, if you need to, and do whatever it takes to feel better. As you do, the pain will subside.
My personal experience
I’ve always naturally streamed energy at people and have often had the urge to take their hand. They always ended up feeling better, but I was usually left feeling drained. At one point, I learned to do Reiki and not long after my initiation, my grandmother transitioned. After the funeral, I ended up doing Reiki treatments on my entire family. They all felt a lot better. The next day when I woke up, I felt like I had a massive case of the stomach flu. Everyone else in the family felt fine while I lay on the bathroom floor, curled into the fetal position. I had to fly home that day and ended up passing out on the plane mid-flight (caused a bit of stress for the poor flight attendants…) I was in horrible, horrible shape, but 24 hours later, I was ok again. Coincidence? Well, I could’ve thought so, except that it happened again the next time I did Reiki on someone. The circumstances weren’t nearly as tragic that time, and my reaction was proportionately reduced, but I still had a very hard time the day after treatment. After that, I stopped doing Reiki until I found some clarity on what had happened.
I never did start back up with Reiki (I no longer really resonate with it, but I have great respect for it), but I have occasionally given someone a recharge by taking their hand, without suffering any ill effects, thanks to an ability to detach. And of course, when I coach, I do the exact same thing (only with no touching), without any negative consequences (anymore).
The following post explains the perils of being an empath (of which you are one), and how to “protect” yourself from taking on other people’s energy.
Are You An Empath? Techniques To Help You Live A Normal Life
Coaching Call #006 also deals with this exact same issue in much greater detail (and no, this one’s not free, but it’s only ten bucks):
Protecting Yourself From Other People’s Energy
What do you think? Have you ever made yourself ill while trying to help someone who was suffering? I know that there are quite a few accomplished healers in this crow, so I’m looking forward to the comments.
I am not sure if I am an empath, but I have always been sensitive to the emotions of other people and deeply felt emotionally charged situations. For example, I would get very easily and strongly upset over minor things like seeing a homeless person on the street or a dramatic movie. This hasn’t consciously been a huge issue, I just mostly try to avoid the news and block out the rest.
But ever since I have started to study and practice LOA, I feel that my “core vibration” is higher. My mood is generally better and brighter. However, I notice that after a day of deep visualization (one where sometimes I even cry, although not quite sure where the emotion is stemming from – perhaps joy and gratitude?), the next day is usually followed by extreme sensitivity. For example, today I couldn’t even watch the inauguration – I started to tear and was unaware of the reason. Also, it gets harder to get back into that high vibration state and I start to feel overly sensitive and critical of my surroundings.
Is there a connection between developing LOA skills and increased empathetic or general sensitivity? If so, why is this happening? And how do I control it? (I tried meditating which only helped temporarily, but then reverted back to the hypersensitive state).
Great post! Thank you for it! 🙂
Another fascinating discussion! Thank you for your wisdom, Melody, as always. And everyone for theirs!
I try to detach, but when it doesn’t work, I’ve found I can let the negative (just a word, there’s no real negative – maybe unhelpful is more accurate?) drain into a stone. I sleep with a smooth palm-sized obsidian, and let the day’s accumulation seep into the stone so I can get to sleep. It’s a physical way of signaling the intention of letting go. In the morning, I wash the stone and thank it.
Trees are also great for releasing/grounding. Just touch the bark and let the tree absorb the unhelpful. And so is running water. Standing on a bridge over a creek or river and deliberately releasing is amazing!
Thanks for starting a stimulating discussion, Mel! Hugs to all,
I’m a big user of running water. A shower at the end of the day washes everything away, he, he. After shamanic rituals in Peru, we usually went down to the river to let the water soften everything after massive amounts of energy work. It was so grounding to walk to the river barefoot while the sun came up over the rainforest. Ah, memories. 🙂
Melody – A different and very interesting read. I’ve had some energy experiences as well giving Reiki and receiving Reiki. The supernatural always fascinates me in how it appears in different forms.
The discussions were good and can see there’s no really right or wrong answer. It’s just becoming sensitive to yourself and your surroundings. Thought the advice and information you gave was right on!
Thank you 🙂
Thanks so much Pat! Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
Some great comments here. This is a fascinating post as is the subject. You never cease to amaze Mel. 🙂 I’m glad I decided to read this one. I almost didn’t, given the subject line. “I know the answer to that so…” Ha! That’s what happens when I decide I’m a know it all.
Anyway, I’ve had similar situations. Used to do Reiki exchanges. There are certainly instances I didn’t feel affected, nor did I feel that I was having an effect…in the beginning up to the point of level 2 I guess. (Except one woman who seemed to benefit. I think she was the reason I felt encouraged to continue with it in the first place.)
Then I met the woman from whom I got my latest level of Reiki certification. (At this point it’s been years.) And I was doing trades and a couple exchanges at her place. She has a Reiki healing center in a town somewhat close by.
After getting that latest level, (which was actually not level three but some sort of practitioner level) I started getting responses from others that indicated something was happening for them.
But each time after doing this at that particular healing center, (no where else) I would become klutzy, for a lack of a better way to put it, tripping over things, running into walls and people. If I was in my car, I was attracting jerky drivers or I would have close calls with other drivers/cars. Then I would start to feel super cranky.
A friend of mine who is super sensitive to energy and whom I met through the owner of the center, told me that:
I was picking up mischievous spirits that had been hanging around at the healing center. That the owner doesn’t feel the energy so she never clears any of the spaces, or she just forgets to. In addition the place is physically cluttered . So all kinds of sticky and nasty energies are floating around in there, stuck in spaces that are also not physically cleared either. So when I “opened up” and hadn’t protected myself (because I had no idea how) I picked them up and carried them out with me.
It would take me days to shake all of that. So I stopped going there and in turn stopped practicing Reiki.
Is that really what was happening? And How do you avoid that? Is that also a matter of some sort of detachment. I wasn’t necessarily picking up the gunk from the person I was giving Reiki to but the stuff left behind from past clients the owner of the center and others had healed.
I have another question. You mentioned that you don’t practice Reiki, but you use energy as a healing tool, right? What is the difference in the use of energies? Aren’t you really pulling from the same source when it comes to any energy healing modality?
Oh and thanks again for another fascinating article. I got some great helpful info out of this…like pointing out the signs/manifestations of resistance. In my mind I returned to thinking of the back injury I dealt with and learned a bit more about why I manifested that as well.
Thanks again and Hugs to you.
Well, I don’t want to step on anyone else’s explanation, but using my way of verbalizing this, no there, were no spirits you were picking up. You did somehow lower your own vibration while in the center. It’s possible that you were letting the people you were healing affect you (that energy would not necessarily manifest in the same way it did for them. You wouldn’t have a back ache because they did, for example. You might get a cold…). Or, perhaps the place itself had taken on a lower vibration. This would indicate that the healer in residence wasn’t very sensitive, though, since her own high energy would’ve naturally raised the energy of the rooms through continued practice of Reiki there.
Yes, it’s all the same energy. I don’t do hands on healing anymore, but I stream a lot of energy. It’s a different way of doing the same thing. I may get back into it someday, who knows? For now, I do what I do. 🙂
I have a vaguely similar question. What are blessings? How do they work?
When you bless someone or something, you are raising your own vibration to the level of love or appreciation and then focusing on that object or person using that energy. It can be highly beneficial to someone, and can change the energy of a space. But the person doing the blessing must be in the right vibrational mind. Just going through the motions or doing the ritual won’t do anything. The rituals can help the person get into that vibration, but it’s really them causing the change. And, of course, you can bless someone all day long, if they’re not ready to shift and feel better, it won’t work. But if they are ready, your blessing can assist them in finding a better feeling frequency.
Does that make sense?
would you like another approach?
Imagine we could allow every memory of our minds just disappear. We look at the world right now like a baby who has just realised that it owns a body with a mind and it’s curious to learn the other rules.
This human being hears a woman saying “No one likes to see suffering”. Then it starts to make questions: “Hey, what suffering is? What does “to like” mean?”.
How would you explain that to this baby?
That baby also hears the same woman saying:
“Distract yourself, if you need to, and do whatever it takes to feel better. As you do, the pain will subside.” The baby now asks: What does “to distract” mean? What is pain?
That’s interesting. And I think it’s quite valuable to try and look at all beliefs from a blank slate perspective, if you can. I use the phrase “question everything” to mean much the same thing. Of course, we aren’t blank slates and we can’t really totally pretend to be, but it’s a very interesting thought exercise. Thanks! 🙂
In my early years as a massage therapist some clients would exclaim “Wow! My headache is gone!” and after they’d leave I’d realize that now I had THEIR headache! I learned to ground myself and separate myself from their energy, to let it pass through me and not stay in me. 🙂
Another perfect example. I knew you guys would have some perfect stories here. Every healer I know has dealt with this phenomenon in one way or another. 🙂
Hi Melody, this is an interesting post and I just wanted to add my own perspective.
Several years ago in what now seems like a previous life :] I used to teach big roomfuls of people dance fitness. Dance was a passion, it was like just slotting my Divine plug into the Divine energy socket and woohoo!! light-show. Couple this with my passion for people and their well-being and I could stream huge energy to 70 people at a time who all got a big hit. Lordy, my classes were popular. I quickly increased classes due to demand. People who came were seeing huge leaps in their health, in their outlook, in their circumstances. I was getting feedback of peoples lives changing. Awesome!
Now, this sounds like the perfect recipe for success. I was doing what I loved and everybody was reaping the benefits of the energy I channeled. I’ve always been able to read energy and I could see what was happening. From up on my stage at the front of the class, I would look out on a sea of radiant colour. Everyone was glowing in vibrant hues. Anyone with muted tones didn’t stay that way for long :] Very cool!!
But, I was getting more and more tired. I put it down to the physical exertion of so many classes. I upped my supplement intake, got nutritional advice, deep tissue massage, the works. But, I began to feel like my legs were made of lead. My light, winged feet felt like they were bolted to the floor. But I just worked harder to deliver and somehow I still managed to deliver a laser-light show but would literally collapse when it was over.
Like most energy workers and healers, I neglected to do my own energy work and healing. It’s called resistance isn’t it Melody :] One day I met up with a friend for lunch who could read auras. She literally stopped in her tracks and her jaw hit the floor when she saw me from across the room. From her perspective, a perspective that I didn’t have clarity on, she saw me up to my neck in thick, black tar. It was so thick and heavy and glucky that it had me bound tight.
It seems that a large number of those wonderful people who were getting high from the energy I was delivering were doing me the pleasure of literally leaving their problems on my doorstep. They were dumping their yuckey, gooey crap (fabuloso for them) and my vibration, that was soooooo eager to help clean them up, was attracting it all. They were leaving class as nimble and springy as an antelope in spring and I was getting more and more like a hippo with a hernia.
A big lesson learned or more accurately, a large vibrationary gap closed. Just because I am able, does not make it my responsibility to raise others vibrations. I am not a cosmic vacuum cleaner, mop and bucket or washing machine. I can boost your energy supply to add extra suction power to your own vacuum but it’s up to you to do your own damn housework! :]
Perfect example of how taking on other people’s energy can really zap us. And it’s so unnecessary. We just have to figure out how to keep from doing that. It’s often our strong intentions to help, while focusing on how others need our help that does us in.
Good for you for finally stopping that cycle. Focus on shining your own light and others will benefit automatically. 🙂
Seems more like we should learn to do things “Green Mile” style and take the energy off others BUT instead of drowning in it ourselves…it’s meant to get released into the air as tiny flies or something. 🙂
Or put into a healing voodoo doll and buried.. or other inanimate object..Maybe that’s another post..
When you coach someone and you drag up their “dirty” energy where does it all go?
LOL! or you could just whiten your aura with some aura stain removers….
Ohhh… and for whatever it means I was told my “aura” is light pink, very clear like pink champaign…
and that that was a very good thing…..
Dawnstar, I LOVED that metaphor you created. It makes great food for thought.
I think this would be amazingly cool and yet so terrifying without an understanding of what was going on! Pretty sure I’ve never felt energy like that, and not sure I would want to. But at the same time, would love to learn how to just sense energy. Always found the idea fascinating!
I went to a Reiki practitioner once, but didn’t notice or feel anything. Was really disappointed. 😕 But this makes me wonder: as your vibration shifts, does your ability to sense the non physical become stronger? I ask, because one of the things I would like to experience is strong intuition. I used to think I had none, cause I rationalized everything, into the ground. 😉 But now I would like to feel/intuit my way more often. My vibration is miles above what it was, but I’m still using my rational thinking process more than anything, so curious if my intuition will just start kicking in as my vibration continues to rise.
A little off subject there. The post just made me think of this!
Please, remember your freedom. The person who creates your reality is you!
Your thoughts of what is real is the vibration you are trying to raise. Stabilising your vibration is figuring out why (that thing you desire is real) and staying there . You could even fly with your body alone if you hold it as real. Don’t believe me? Search for yourself, some people have done that before. But before going to the extremes let’s see what’s going on:
Let’s say you want to experience strong intuition. You can do that only if you think it can be done. If you think that’s impossible, game over. You can’t see what doesn’t exist.
So, let’s say we are brave enough to admit that it could exist but it’s somehow not for us. We haven’t experienced that before, or we don’t remember if we have experienced it. Even if we had experienced strong intuition in the past we were not able to do it consciously and we somehow doubt that it is natural to us. If it was natural we would have done it successfully and there would be no need of asking if it can be done or how we can make it happen.
But we hear that some people can do that. We call them psychics, perhaps they are freaks. These strange people say that anybody can do that. Will we believe them? We were fooled before, we might be fooled again. After all, once a fool, always a fool. That’s resistance. That’s the same thing that happens to people who want to get rich: they know that rich people exist, they know it can be done, they know that they don’t want to be rich with a purpose to hurt themselves or mankind, they just want a good thing in their life: money and the ease-comfort-safety-freedom this paper can give. But they don’t fully understand how They will be rich as they can’t see how. They don’t accept that this can be a reality for them too.
If any of what I’ve written seems logical to you, then my advice for you (if you trully want to get rid of your gordian knot) and if you want my advice at all, is to see things as a baby who knows nothing about life. You’ll then see the madness and you won’t need to ask if it’s real. You will just share with us the pleasure you took from doing what robots thought wasn’t real or wasn’t good enough to be real, feeling proud for your accomplishment, realising your power. Just keep a low profile when interacting with robots but don’t doubt yourself.
By the way, you already have that strong intuition. That’s why you are here. Just spot the moments that pushed you to be here.
We are part of a game. I think we are part of it because of our curiosity. You can see life as a court where we judge what can be done. Because everything can be done and everything has happened (if we have a word or a feeling to describe it), the two sides appear evidences of why it can or can’t be done and justify them according to their interest. Who is the judge? Who’s opinion matters most? What makes things real? Some say the ultimate Judge is God and some go further giving God a name and attributes. Others have a nice guy for their god, others want a tough guy. Who God is? Don’t ask me. If you don’t want a good brainwash don’t ask anybody, let god speak for himself if you believe there is a god.
But someone forgot to tell us that we can leave this court anytime we want without the fear of being sentenced. Or we were not willing to listen to that voice because we were winning at that time. Now we are losing and we want to erase the smile from the face of those who said “I told you, it can’t be done, you can’t do it neither”. That’s ok, but before making a statement of what can be done, we have to be convinced that it trully can be done before entering the court.
Thank you for giving me the chance of sending a long and irrelevant post! Madness rules! Hugs!
to make things even more clear:
the truth is everything can be done including you having a strong intuition. When we speak of everything we mean eveything. Even resurrection, seeing dead people walking, traveling through time, eating tomatoes in winter, a santa-clauss wearing a swimming bath, flying (on an airplane or without one), the bolder the statement the better.
Some are willing to accept it, others are not. Someone accepts that we can find tomatoes in winter to eat, someone else is sceptic because he is not yet aware of greenhouses/glasshouses. The first one who is aware of greenhouses is in a higher place of the vibrational ladder. This ladder helps him to elevate and see behind the hill where the solutions are.
If you want to see a solution, it’s that simple. Accept that greenhouses exist and let yourself to relax being certain that a solution exist. When you relax and feel better, it’s like swimming. You go up to the surface. You breathe. Tense and panic, you will get drunk.
The problem is that there are too many sceptics, including ourselves. We ourselves that know the procedure and laugh with those who are sceptics about the greenhouses, we are sceptics to other things. And other people who see more laugh at us. The deal is to be aware of that and not feel bad because we don’t see something. If we realise that all we have to do is to let ourselves breathe without worrying what others may think or what bad will happen, we can’t but find what we are looking for.
If we talk to ourselves like trying to convince a sceptic, voila, we are sceptics. We go down on the ladder and we don’t see the answer. If we want to stay there there’s a hill in front. We won’t see the answer. If we want company to get up again and none wants to come with us, we won’t see it neither. If we want trully bad another one to witness what we do but the other person doesn’t want to climb, we have resistance. Either you can take him on your shoulders, either you can’t.
How many witnesses do you want, how fast you can climb, how sure you are there are answers at the other side of the hill and how safe will you be, that’s your load. The goal is to see behind the hill. Others fly, others climb, others carry famillys like olympic lifters. Do you want to fly, climb or lift others? Can you fly and leave others in the place they are now?
There’s a bad thing in the whole process. We are supposed to be the good guys. Good guys don’t beat others to death to see solutions. Bad guys can beat others to death to see their problems. The first side wants to build, the other wants to demolish. The good guys don’t allow themselves to use violence to convince because the bad will accuse them of being bad. Trying to convince a sceptic is impossible. Being a sceptic yourself to see how a sceptic can be convinced includes the danger of staying a sceptic forever. Thankfully, pain reminds us of what is important.
Enjoy your long and irrelevent posts. 🙂 And yes, I have at times tried to ‘convince’ myself that something can be done. Ha Ha. Starting to understand that overthinking things on my part, just runs me in circles. And I’ve also realized that I’ve had more intuition than I think, but was so busy arguing in my head (because of doubt of course), that I didn’t ‘hear’ it or realize what it was. But as I shift, I’m no longer arguing as much, just deciding. Gotta love that!
So I am, and will continue to work on deciding something and believing it, without the constant argument in the head! Just decide, then move forward as if it’s real. Trust me, I am getting much more comfortable with my power.
In fact, after the above post, I had very strong intuition or guidance, to do something specific. And it was NOT short and simple. It was very complex and detailed on what to do. Very interesting, and yes, I was feeling quite cool! 8) So like you said, decide and accept and BAM, there it is! Yes madness rules, but I would say I rule more. LOL! Really, really starting to get that!
“I’ve had more intuition than I think, but was so busy arguing in my head (because of doubt of course). So I am, and will continue to work on deciding something and believing it”
Nay, you’re trully AWESOME! You don’t only have a strong intuition but it seems that you also have your auto-correction mechanism intact! I don’t know if you are fully aware of it, but it’s COOL 🙂
My growth has been kicked into gear because of the incredible input I’ve gotten from this blog and the comments and help from people like you! A change in feelings can give you a whole new perspective, when you really want it. And I wanted it, so am now getting it. 🙂
The best way to strengthen your intuition is to start following it. Start trusting it. When you get that tiny intuitive hit, notice it and do what it says. As you practice that, it’ll get louder over time.
Before you make a decision, stop for a moment and feel which option feels better to you. FEEL it, don’t think it. Then, go with the better feeling one. It takes a bit of practice, like building a muscle, but it gets a lot stronger over time, until you almost can’t ignore it anymore. 🙂
I hope that’s helpful.
That pause to see what feels better will be the biggest starter. Like I told Tony above, I can see I’ve had more intuition than I think. I was just so busy questioning my thoughts all the time! Questioning my intuition without even realizing it. (Yes, I meditated on this, and saw A LOT of things differently.) 😉
And now I’m going to start on the project that intuition dumped on me yesterday! 💡 I have the whole roadmap and how to, already laid out for me! Can I just say that I am PUMPED!
a few years ago i met up with mother in the local shopping centre and as she walked up to me my left knee went limp and for a just a few seconds i felt i couldn’t walk on that leg. then the sensation vanished. when my mother finally reached me she put her hand on her left knee and told me she was having trouble with it. your post today tells me this was no coincidence. thanks for sharing this today. shaun
Definitely not a coincidence, Shaun. You were tapping right into her energy. 🙂
Very interesting stuff. Thanks for sharing your experience here Melody!
You’re welcome Kat!