I get a lot of questions about tithing. Many personal development and LOA teachers swear by it. Anecdotal evidence suggests that it’s almost like a magic formula: tithe and money comes gushing into your reality like a green Tsunami (or you know, whatever color your currency is). There are even those who claim that you’ll never get rich without tithing.
But is this true? And what exactly constitutes tithing? Do we have to give to an official charity? Does it count if we give the homeless guy on the corner a dollar? What about if we buy some candy bars from our colleague’s kids, even though we don’t like the taste, the colleague or the kids? Do we really have to tithe?
Obligation = Resistance
Ok, first of all, we don’t HAVE TO do anything. No matter how helpful something may initially be, if you make it into an obligation, it stops feeling good and stops serving us. Because, as you may have guessed, it’s all about how you feel. But that doesn’t just mean that you have to feel good about tithing (you do). It goes further than that.
What tithing really is
Tithing is the act of giving away money without getting anything tangible in return. Seen from that perspective, giving to charity counts, as does giving the homeless dude a dollar. And, if you don’t like the candy bars, you could technically buy them and then give them away, too. That would also be tithing.
But, does tithing always automatically lead to bigger income for you? No. It’s not a magic formula. Some people have experienced great success with tithing while others haven’t. That’s because the mere act of giving away money, the action itself, doesn’t have any power whatsoever. It’s the energy behind it that has all the effect.
Tithing can be a useful tool
Just like meditation and visualization, tithing is merely a tool to help you line up energy. It can be a powerful tool, when used correctly, but it’s just a tool, nonetheless.
The idea is that when you give money away, you are telling the Universe that you have more money than you need. Hence, you can give some of it away. And if you actually feel that way when you tithe, it will indeed bring you more money. When you line up with the energy of having more money than you need, the Law of Attraction will ensure that this becomes your reality – you’ll have more than you need.
- If giving away money makes you feel all anxious and MORE aware of how little you have, then tithing will only serve to make you feel even poorer.
- If it makes you feel resentful, as in, why can’t the homeless dude help himself, or why does it always have to be you, why can’t it be some rich dude who helps, then tithing will fill your reality with lots of needy people who could get help from someone else, but won’t. Everyone will suddenly want a piece of you.
- If you’re only tithing because you desperately think it will increase your money flow, then you’re most likely focused more on how little money you have, and will create more of that.
How to tithe correctly
When we consider that tithing is merely a way to help us feel more abundant, to get into that feeling of having more than we need, then it becomes clear that simply chucking money at the needy isn’t good enough. In fact, we may not even need to give money away (again, if it makes you more aware of how little you have, it’s not going to work the way you want it to).
I once heard Abraham say that they would advise us to tithe to ourselves. I loved that. It really illustrated the point. If you create an account for something frivolous, something you really don’t need but just want, and start tithing to that, you’re also sending the message that you have more than you need, but you’re less likely to trigger the feeling that you’re giving something away when you don’t have enough yourself. It’s a nice, easy way to line up the energy of what we want.
So, we shouldn’t give to charity?
But, does that mean I’m saying we shouldn’t give to charity or hand the homeless dude some change? I’m not saying that at all. Give freely, give joyously, give when it feels good to do so. But don’t give out of obligation or to get something back. Because even wanting to increase your money flow in return for the tithing is trying to get something in return.
And think about it: If you attach the energy of obligation or responsibility to your gift, if your vibration is saying that they need you to give them this money because they can’t create for themselves, then that’s the vibration you’ll perpetuate in them. The money will go to people who feel totally powerless and who will continue to do so. However, when you give from a place of being aligned with Who You Really Are, when you give because you KNOW that you have more than enough, simply because it feels good, for the pure joy of it, then your gift will find its way to someone who is a match to that – someone who is ready to feel empowered. They will use the money you give them to move towards their own goals. They will hear the call of Who They Really Are. Attaching a high vibration to your gift will ensure it perpetuates happiness. Attaching a low vibration to your gift will ensure it perpetuates misery. What do you want to perpetuate, both in yourself and in others?
What are your thoughts on tithing? I look forward to reading them in the comments.
Thanks for this wonderful information on tithing
I have yet to see that tithing works.
I feel when I do tithe, I’m just throwing money away.
I’m sorry — that wasn’t my last comment! 🙂 this topic just keeps resonating with me and revealing more thoughts about giving/receiving/deserving/worthy etc.
the blessing I receive is giving
the blessing I give is receiving
One of the most amazing joyful amazing powerful thoughts I ever had was the idea that My Life is a Gift to God. This meant to me that I was not always just on the receiving end- a puny, weak, helpless waif, one of billions served- but that I (Me!) actually give back to God. I am really important – not as disposable as some of my religious teachings would have me believe (“follow all these really hard rules or else you’ll go to Hell and I’ll never even miss you!” *shudder*). No. I am valued. And I give to God something immensely valuable – and it’s not my money or my stuff or even my rule-following abilities – it’s my experiences. My perceptions. My thoughts. My emotions. My LIFE as ME.
My Life is a Gift – not just FROM God, but TO God. (!!!!)
I am giving back to God what He gives to Me – I am receiving from God what He is receiving from Me. In Joy and Gratitude, God gives Me Life and in Joy and Gratitude I give God Life. God is happy and grateful for Me to exist here because through Me, God experiences life as only I can. I am the only Me, the only way God would know life as Me. There is nothing about Me that is not wonderful to God. (yes, God absolutely treasures the way I gag uncontrollably whenever I have tried eating creamed spinach! Absolutely TREASURES those moments! LOL!)
I am amazed at this wonderful life and so happy to be here to experience life as Me. Thank You thank you thank you God! God! God whose name I do not know, who is not only within me but IS me. (!!!!)
Because of our relationship with God (I and the Father are One), we “tithe” 100% of our lives to God, every moment of Now. God, also, “tithes” 100% of Himself to us – it is we, here, with our limited perceptions and limiting beliefs, that keep ourselves from receiving that 100%. We tend to believe we are not worthy and that we must work to deserve. In other words, we resist. 🙂 (Well, at least I do! 🙂 )
The only difference between Me and God is that God doesn’t set up silly resistances to what I’m giving Him. He accepts me and my gifts 100%! 🙂
Listen, GOD LOVES YOU. GOD LOVES EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. You are UNIQUE and WONDERFUL. Get this: God even loves your regret. Please understand – God loves you. God does not enjoy your pain. But it is a part of you, just like all your beautiful, smart, generous, petty, ugly, judgmental thoughts and God loves all that is you. So relax. God isn’t judging anything about you; God is accepting all of it, loving all of you. It is EVERYTHING about you that makes you, YOU. Even the stuff you want to change. Even your desire to change stuff about yourself is a part of you. EVERYTHING about you is holy and wonderful. (!!!!!!!) (Heck Yeah!!!)
One last thought:
giving = receiving = joy = gratitude, and the official form of giving known as tithing = totally unnecessary bc you are already giving your life to God and to the world (the world is God) every moment of Now. However, tithing money and stuff can make you feel better and can help you feel “deserving” if you are having trouble recognizing that you are already and forever Worthy. So, I think in that way, it can help you receive your infinite abundance.
But it is not the tithing that is holy or makes you holy or puts you on the right footing with god – it is You. You –WE- are what’s holy. Giving is holy and is what is happening all the time because of Who We Really Are. Tithing is of this earth, this dimension. Tithing is a formal rule about giving…and usually has some “or else!” ‘s attached. haha!
Giving makes us feel good, so giving = joy. Joy = gratitude. Gratitude is what we feel when we receive something wonderful, which means that giving = receiving. Because it is all happening *now*. Joy in giving and Gratitude in receiving are the same thing and happen at the same time *within us*.
We can’t give in order to receive something in the future – there’s no putting blessings on lay-a-way! Haha! We give because it feels good now.
Am I right or am I right? Lol! 🙂
Reading your rants of joy makes me happy. Thank you for being here. You’re just perfect. 🙂
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs and cuddles,
Gratitude ROCKS!! 🙂
Gratitude *IS* Joy!!!
(Can i get a witness?? LOL!)
I’m going to put it on a t-shirt:
the blessing I receive is giving
(this is my last comment, I promise!)
I keep coming back to this blog entry — there is so much here and in the comments for me to absorb!!
I am having this wonderful insight which fills me with amazing joy and gratitude:
to be able to give is such a wonderful blessing.
and I see now that to give is to receive, but that which I receive is not outside of — or separate from, nor does it follow — the giving. That which I receive IS THE GIVING.
I give because that is what I-as-God do and the blessing I receive is not “from” giving, it IS giving. The abundance I receive in my life (Oh God, whose name I do not know … thank you for my life!) is not a result of anything I’ve given/tithed – tithing is not a trade or insurance or a bargain – how can I calculate the value of my life? The greatest gift I have ever received? How would I tithe back 10% of “immeasurable”? And what makes me think God wants my money – or my teddy? 🙂 God ALREADY has my LIFE!!! That which I have been given in joy and gratitude and wonder and which I give back gladly and joyfully every moment, 100%.
there is no difference between giving/receiving or giver/receiver. We Are One and The Same.
OMG. I can’t stop crying right now. 🙂 I wish I had better words to describe what I’m understanding. — and how I also see that all my resistance against receiving is so unnecessary all these years. I can’t be unworthy to receive. It is impossible. The idea is actually laughable! 🙂 🙂
today I feel so much gratitude that I offered up a prayer of gratitude for feeling all this gratitude! LOL! “thank you, thank you for this gratitude! for this ability to feel it, for the feeling of it, for the feeling itself!”
I used to grumble about tithing to my husband’s choice of organizations. Back then we were a young married couple with barley a few dollars left over at the end of the month. Once I took the responsibility for picking where I wanted my small gift to go, things changed. It definitely took an attitude change on my part and it made all the difference to the recipients.
Thanks for sharing. You’re right. Sometimes just changing where you give makes all the difference. But if that doesn’t help, stop giving until you can do so joyfully. 🙂
Another great post, Melody! Right on time, as usual 🙂 I’ve been giving/donating since I can remember because it feels so good. Last month I sent off a check to an organization that helps the homeless and my heart was so full of joy that I kissed the check before mailing it off…it just felt so good! However, I remember one year I was doing some spring cleaning and putting aside clothes to donate to goodwill. When I was finished I was counting the bags and figuring out how much all the stuff was worth so that I could claim it on my taxes…looking back, I was doing THAT out of obligation and wanting something in return (without even realizing it). I didn’t always do that but just reflecting yesterday after reading your post made me see that I had, and of course it was due to my lack of money at the time.
Still working on my resistance with regard to my finances/money situation (this is really, really hard due struggling financially since I can remember–but I am trying!) Fortunately enough for me, your words struck a chord once again and when I read, “…then you’re most likely focused more on how little money you have, and will create more of that”, it totally hit me. HARD. And I love it, thank you!!
You’re so welcome. The feeling of obligation is often so ingrained it can be hard to spot. Look for the feeling of joy instead. If it’s not there, you’re probably feeling obligated. But when your heart sings, as you described, you can’t miss it. 🙂
Such perfect timing and wisdom! So much angst with this for so many people. I know I was taught that you should always give, in one way or another. That ‘teaching’ was further extolled at the places I worked. Your time, money and/or skills should be shared on a regular basis. Never was it couched in the terms of doing so because you want to do it, but because you ‘should’ do it, and joyfully, you ungrateful wretch! But disapproval rang loudly when you opted out. So it became obligation, which as you said, never feels good.
And the underlying guilt when you don’t donate, for whatever reason. Not too long ago I noticed it lurking, even though I wasn’t totally aware of it at first. I had said no to doing something, because I really had no desire to do it, and right after that I received a notice about donating to a cause that I agreed with, but really didn’t have any desire to donate to. Saying no just because I didn’t want to do something was still relatively new to me in this regard. And, BAM, there was the realization that I was feeling guilty! (Was I maybe manifesting these things… 😉 )
My thoughts had been going in circles on what’s ‘right’ and what’s ‘true’. ‘I should donate because it’s the right thing…but truth states we don’t have to do anything to be worthy…but aren’t we sending out the lack vibe when we don’t donate…but I don’t want to spend my time that way right now…but I don’t feel good trying to rearrange the budget to support donating…but by truth, my supply comes from source so I always have enough money/time, so why don’t I do it…blah, blah, blah’ The circle could go on and on! 😯
Letting those old limiting beliefs run in the background does cause such issues. 😀 But once I realized it was a limiting belief running counter to something I’d newly accepted…then I had to do some thinking, and decide to let it go. Just the realization of how the two counter beliefs were running me ragged with the up and down feelings, should have decided me simply. But always that little bit of doubt…
But of course, here’s your blog putting everything into simple perspective. Timing is everything! And as my life is moving towards abundance, and growing more and more abundant every day, I feel less and less obligation! So when I want to donate, then I will. When I give of myself, it is because I choose to and love doing it. As Tony said above, ‘…when you get to the place where you ‘know’ your true feelings…’ then you free yourself of obligation because you no longer worry about doing what you ‘should.’ It’s all about what you want and what feels good.
Whew that is just so amazing and Freeing once you truly grasp it! So my journey continues, with another little step up! 😀
P.S. Yes Melody, a donation button would be sooo awesome. Do you feel obligated yet? LOL! 😆
Ah yes. That guilt. Again, those old beliefs are insidious, aren’t they?
I actually have a great example of how our giving out of joy is always perfectly aligned with the receiver’s vibration. There’s a man who frequently stands outside of my grocery store, asking for change. On several occasions now I’ve decided to make sure I had some change on me when I exited, so I could give it to him. And on every single occasion, he was gone when I came out. He wasn’t a match to receiving the money. But he is often there when I go in, and I always say hi to him and smile. I know from living in San Francisco that many homeless people get treated as thought they’re not there. We just ignore them and pretend they don’t exist. It’s dehumanizing. So, when I feel it’s ok (because it’s not always. Sometimes, the shock of being recognized will cause violent behavior…), I will smile, say hello, and even have a chat. I made friends with a lot of homeless people in S.F. I realized that this is a gift, too. And not just for the homeless. We are all so isolated, a bit of friendly human contact, a nice chat, the feeling of being seen and heard, these are all precious. It’s not all about the money.
Hey everyone :}
I’m with Mary Carol on what she calls the ‘anti-institution’ thing and so I’ve never felt the need to tithe to a church. In fact, it used to make me really angry that churches preach tithing, frightening people into giving. I know poor families who give a large amount of their income to their church and then can’t afford to feed their kids and have to go get food handouts from the same damn church they’re giving their money to. What’s that all about? I don’t think so. Something got screwed up there. When I ask them why they do it, they say, ‘God will punish us if we don’t. The pastor says it’s our moral responsibility to support the church and it’s community financially. It’s our responsibility to make sure that everyone has enough.’
Is it? Is it really? Well, what about making sure YOU have enough? Your freakin’ pastor lives in a $2 million dollar home and drives a Bentley. He is not coming to the food bank for cans of beans to feed his kids. He has enough. Good Lord! Someone got their wires crossed on that phone call to Heavens Advice Line.
And like Kat, I too have read all the LOA masters, past and present. Yes, hello everyone, my name is Dawn and I am a seekaholic. The last time I read a self-help book was two years ago :] They all mention that giving is one of the keys to receiving, especially, they say, when you can’t afford to give. That’s true giving………they say…….
Well, I took that to heart. Not only because I wanted to improve what was coming in but because, as a spiritual person, I felt it was my duty to live in service and to give whatever I could. I got it screwed up, just like the families in the paragraph above. I heard, good people go without and because they have pure intentions, i.e. selflessness and generosity, The Creator will always make sure they have enough for themselves. And boy did I give. I gave away money, and my kids went hungry. I gave away furniture, and our home was sparse. I gave away the shoes off my feet and the shirt off my back, literally, until I had no shoes or shirts left for myself. I gave away my time, my energy, my passion, my words, my smile, until I was so physically, spiritually and financially depleted that I found myself bankrupt, exhausted and ill. And I still justified everything by saying I had done it all for the right reasons, as if that one statement would suddenly click the lock to the vault of ‘good stuff’ The Universe had waiting for me!
Did my excessive giving lead to increased receiving? No. Full stop. I got nothing in return, but the folded arm, head-shaking, tutting ‘I told you so’ of friends and family.
Now listen, I reckon I’ve just about got all this stuff sorted. I had to shift piles of limiting beliefs to clean up my vibration. But now, I choose to have autonomy over how, what and when I give. Anyone telling me I ‘have to’, ‘should be’ or ‘ought to be’, giving in a way that they prescribe, can whistle. I can walk straight past the people holding out their collection tins for Cancer Research and not feel guilty if I don’t give. I can look the Salvation Army peeps in the face as I say that ‘I won’t be contributing today’. And, hugely for me, I can answer the door to the Mormon shiny badge wearing guy out collecting for his ‘poor’ community and tell him, politely, ‘no’, instead of feeling it necessary to club him half to death with my cruelly spiked judgements of how ‘wrong’ his perception is.
As I learned to accept myself as being as precious and deserving as everyone else, my life improved and I got happier and lighter. Everything became less serious and heavy. I began to laugh more, have fun and enjoy life, instead of slogging my guts out to make sure I was doing the ‘right thing’. I stopped pushing the rock up the hill.
I know this post is long :] My English Language teacher always told me I should learn to be more concise. My English Literature teacher told me to allow my fountain-like vocabulary to flow and flourish. I liked my Lit teacher better :]
I tried to post something but lost the connection so I hope this posts. I loved Enlg. Lit too! Good times!
If I remember correctly, the masters (yogis, gurus, mystics, and co.) said that, in order to give, you must have an overflow yourself. They did not mean to give the shirt off your back because what would you have left? Self respect and preservation are of utmost importance according to them. However, you do not need much to practice all this stuff, but a shirt on your back. cool, huh?
These concepts got tainted by the church, which was the first corporation and is still thriving. Priests will always have enough because they work at a church.
Self help is a waste because there is nothing to help. It is basically a cutting out of your system the limiting beliefs that tie you down. All you need is self-empowerment and the knowing that the universe is always there to give you guidance, hence one master’s advice to someone who did not like their job. Masters do not approve of people being manipulated by employers and others. They are for entrepreneurship and a basic salary of some sort, but not at the cost of one’s well-being.
I really needed this today! Yay!
Good for you, for turning it around. The real problem with those families is that they still think that they must have a pastor through which they can communicate with God. So, if the pastor’s advice goes against their own guidance (God talking directly to them), they still follow it. When people realize they have a direct line to God (or themselves, whatever), they are empowered to make their own decisions. But they have to come to that realization in their own time.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful example of how giving out of obligation doesn’t get us anywhere.
I second Dawnstar through and through. There are many reasons I am where I am now, but that is one big one.
Now I understand why “bad things happen to good people” and this strengthens my resolve about people telling me I must have done something wrong, been ungrateful, killed a village in a past life (they can’t explain how a kind person is so sick, broke etc so they try to come up with past lives…)if anything I’ve been a bleeding heart that was too nice.
That’s as idiotic as saying Stephen Hawking is in a wheelchair because of “karma” what BS.
Ah, I feel better now.
Yay Alice! The insights are just flowing today and you’re spot on! Good for you, you awesome chica you!
I should follow in your footsteps! I feel the same way but lack the confidence.
After writing a long comment, sometimes I am proud, but other times I feel shame as I was never good at keeping it short and wish to eradicate it.
As for charities, I generally add some explanation, when really it is none of their business! (I need this for bus money)
Sometime I was heading to a milkbar to get a nice smoothie and something for lunch. I don’t have much cash so that feels like a luxury as drinks outside are expensive.
In those cases I admit feeling a bit of shame to walk past them and buy a fancy lunch, I have improved, as I don’t give the money any more, but I still walk to the next block, making myself late so I can eat something nice without them seeing me…ridiculous I know!
Even more ridiculous is people judging poor people, for not giving to the poor! Ask the people staying in the Hilton hotel…jeez!
I feel very strongly that I am helping more by looking after myself better and being “selfish”
in past I also gave too much and then I was the one needing help! Stupid.
“I heard, good people go without and because they have pure intentions, i.e. selflessness and generosity………. lock to the vault of ‘good stuff’ The Universe had waiting for me!”
I did want to help, but there was negativity mixed in there for me too such as guilt, not having enough myself etc so like you it backfired.
The same people came up to me when I was having a hard time (that work for charity) and said I needed “to pray to God for forgiveness”
So now I am having a hard time, to add injury to insult these people claim I must have done something wrong or have bad karma etc….
And we have that in the LOA community to a l;esser extent. You gave and gave and gave until it damaged yourself..but there will still be poeple out there that will pin it to some personality flaw and that you got your just deserts for some “bad” deed or negativity. (which doesn’t exist.)
The only thing we need to do is be even more selfish and better to ourselves! 🙂 That is helping in the sense that we will be one less person needing charity as our charity is ourselves.
Excellent work. I feel stronger on this.
I hear you Tony. Yes, they can make miracles.
From what I see, it is our limiting beliefs which pin us down and prevent us from rising to certain heights and levels. And, we are not born with these beliefs. Instead, they are cast upon us by other members of society and they stick to us because others make them seem so real, but they are not.
Of course, many people say and do the opposite things and remain members of society, supposedly creating some example but we all know they are false, yet still play with them. This happens all the time in politics. 🙂
Great article Melody! I’ve been trying to make sense of this tithing thing for a long time and what you say makes perfect sense. Thank you for answering this so clearly. I always felt so guilty when I wasn’t giving away what wasn’t enough for myself. I really like Abraham’s idea of tithing to ourselves, that would definitely increase prosperity consciousness. Awesome! And then, when we have increased our prosperity, we can cheerfully and lovingly give.
Exactly. The whole idea of giving till it hurts is a false one. It goes along with the belief that it’s virtuous to suffer. It’s not. If we all lived in abundance and had the ability to share freely out of joy, there would be no poverty. This is how we move out of that state – we make sure that when we give, we give with joy, no matter whom we give to (even ourselves). 🙂
Life itself is a limiting belief.
Do you want to hear what I see?
I see us telling that we want money. The answer is simple. Get a job. But we want more money.
What do we have to do to have more money? We can print money. Why don’t we do that? Because banks print money. If we could print money ourselves we wouldn’t play the game correctly. So, we want to be legal and we also seek for more money. What to do next? We need a miracle!
Tony grabs a dictionary and looks for the explanation. His dictionary says that a miracle is something that happens against the laws of nature. Something that can’t be explained in detail and in a way human mind can conceive and understand, so we talk about the action of a God.
Tony now searches for the meaning of the word “to explain”. The dictionary says it is the action to make someone understand something/to describe something to someone so he can imagine and accept what we are talking about (I write it in my own words, since my mother tongue is different)
Tony now searches what “to accept” means: it’s to admit something is real and take it.
At the end of this research is “Phenomenology” and by the way, if you ignore some freaks like Sokolowski or Parmenides or Plato or Husserl (I love freaks) , phenomenology is a trend in architecture (the great architect, you know).
Reap and sow guys! Smile and wave!
By the way, if making a miracle is easier than printing more money, why do we still live in societies?
the clock on the bomb is ticking..
Because to be a member of society, we need to be part of the limiting beliefs and play along with them (sort of). To be a members of a society, you pretty much are saying that you agree with the belief system and whatnot and there you are.
Those who do not live in societies and are not “official” members of society, but are sought out by members of society, are the ones who practice these miracles.
Interesting Tony. Just had to remark.
just a thought. Who says that if we don’t agree with the belief system we cannot be a part of the society? Who says that what we say we believe and what we actually do must be the same? The leader of the communist party in my country talks about the right of free public education and sent her child to an expensive american college. She is definetely a part of my society and she leads people to protest against what she’s doing. The public votes in favour of the capitalists but they think like communists. They are members of this society too. Many of them have done their service in the army too. They pay taxes. We can’t exclude them. Can’t they make miracles?
The problems arise when someone says one thing and acts in a different way. If you truly do not believe in society’s rules and don’t believe that they have any power over you, then your actions will be aligned with that and will have no negative consequences for you. That’s when we talk of miracles. But most people who act outside of society’s rules do still believe in their power, and there’s discord. Other people can sense that discord, too.
We don’t have to live by society’s rules, but in order to surpass them, we have to truly change our beliefs. That’s what I’m trying to do with this blog, bit by bit, But I didn’t start with the hardest ones, the ones that will land you in jail. 😉
Oh my, Melody, this is a very enlightening phrase: “If you truly do not believe in society’s rules and don’t believe that they have any power over you, then your actions will be aligned with that and will have no negative consequences for you. That’s when we talk of miracles”.
This is how I experienced life while “in the vortex!” It did not give a crap nor did I believe the naysayers at all and all went well. When I started letting their words get to me in the ivory tower, that this and that will happen and this is what others will think, etc, as they would tell me, I lost that alignment and lost my way. That led to depression and it took a while to get back on track again.
Even when scolded yesterday, I felt this guy did not know what he was talking about and, because, unless I was jailed for a crime committed, how do I account for the lost time. Yet, this must have been leftover from my bout of depression and my perspective from things while in that state, because I did not believe a word he said, nor did it resonate with me, so I do think I am getting out of it. Thanks!
Hi Melody – interesting topic – I agree with John’s comment to brew up a big pot of coffee on this one. It’s like opening Pandora’s box.
I totally agree with you in that giving (tithing) should come from a feeling – energy. Most times we don’t realize what that is. Depending on what our energy is at the time we give and our intention is what shows up in our life.
It’s so much more to it than that and takes someone with intuition and love to self explore and listen to their heart.
A great post Melody – loved it 🙂
Thanks so much Pat! It does take some self awareness, but then, doesn’t everything? 😉
Being somewhat anti-institution, I’ve never felt inclined toward tithing as in giving money to a church. But I do like to give. My solution for many years has been good wages and big tips. If someone does a job for me, I pay well over the minimum I could get away with, and throw in a hefty tip if the work impresses me.
Moving to Mexico reinforced this idea big time. I love Mexico, and want to contribute to the people and the economy. As a retiree, I don’t even pay income tax, and many services are free here for seniors, like excellent health care! Rather than send the government an anonymous check (ha), I hire people and pay them around 150% of the going rate. I love to garden, but I pay a gardener to do the heavy work. I don’t mind housecleaning, but I pay a housekeeper who does a way better job than I do. Any chance I get, I buy meals from neighbors who cook for a little extra cash. I recently met a skilled carpenter who’s become the go-to guy for all kinds of house fix-ups.
Also, lots of people here work for tips. A trip to the grocery store includes a tip to the taxi driver, a tip the grocery bagger, a tip to the parking attendant who loads the taxi to go home, and a tip to the second taxi driver. Rather than be bothered by all the tipping, I enjoy it as part of my way of saying thanks to Mexico for welcoming me so hospitably. I actually set a goal to try to tip at least a certain amount every day.
I guess what I’m saying here is that “charity” can carry with it all the baggage you mentioned in the post. Generosity just feels good. The receiver feels appreciated (not pitied), and the giver feels warm and fuzzy.
Thanks for another awesome post, Melody! Hugs to everybody,
Yes, that is what I feel and agree more with your practices than feeling obligated, which does not feel good at all. I do the same, and help even more people that way. If it comes straight for the heart and you feel all warm and fuzzy, then that is the feeling that is aimed for. That is an in the vortex feeling, so to speak.
This is how we should live our lives. Everything else is such BS, yet people are so stuck in their ways, it is scary. I was even reminded of my past “mistakes” yesterday by one such person, who declared that I screwed up royally and I thought he would dismiss me from his office, as if I have not gone through enough already, yet I felt calm, cool and even smiled and we ended up talking for an hour! Guess I have a bit more to work on that is reflected back to me, but it does not torture my heart anymore and he had other complaints anyway, it was not just directed towards me.
Good thing we know better. Abe says that if those people do not go with our flow, they will transition, even if we are the minority and they the majority. It does not matter. Nothing does but the vibration!
Mary Carol, I want to do this too. There are little stores in town that I want to frequent and support, and since my husband is now working a second job where he makes tips the tipping thing has come up with us more than once. I’m sure you’re making a lot of people there very happy.
Awesomeness Mary Carol! I love to tip, too. I worked in the restaurant and casino industries for a long time, and worked primarily for tips. If someone does a great job, I love to reward them with a tip. And you’re right, there’s no feeling of pity or need. It just feels good.
Here in Spain, people don’t tip that much, so it’s not hard at all to go above and beyond with tipping. I love to make someone’s day with what they consider to be a massive tip. And thanks for sharing this great “tip”, lol. 😆
Yep, supporting the local community resonates with me too. When the choice is local or brand name/big company, I try to go with local. And with your post I see that it really is no different than tithing. I know I’m giving back to the community that I’m living in. It makes sense, and it meets that oh so important ‘feel good’ vibration! But I also don’t fret when I don’t do it.
Now I’m off to work on making all areas of my life that simple… 🙂
Money – such a sensitive subject. I became to believe in LOA. Recently attracted an opportunity, that made me quit my corporate job that I don’t like, and enroll in a master degree in a different country and a great institution. It’s really a risk, I feel a tension that seems to be the necessary force for this creation. I have a lot do deal right now. It’s a very wanted thing – I could cover the giant fees they charge, and I’m making arrangements to move out, sell the furniture of my rent appartment and so on…
So there’s tention here… Accepting (or trying to) the “dark” (those anoying things about moving and waiting that comes with the “light” of a wanted outcome that we cannot control and are from a co-creation). I am also trying to trust. And curiously that trust is a bit shaken when I have to deal with those practical things. I have released such resistance here (having faith that I’m not as dumb as I think I am, and that a bigshot institution would accept me in a master programme and believe the outcome to be the best do pursue my path to have agreat job in the service of a Common Good).
I don’t have any funding. I just need some money to survive in the months that I have to be in this foreign country. I think it’s manageable, I can handle that (more savings for this last months in this job, the 200 e per month my parents can give me – I’m so thankful and touched for that… <3). But generally I'm worried and scared, I even think this is a dream… Even my mom phoned me just to ask if I was sure the institution existed (it is a branch of the United Nations…). So there's a lot of DNA about insecurity and unworthiness of luck and good things that I've tried to overcome, and realized I still am overcoming a great amount of that.
I'm sorry for this digression. It's just that when I read your post today, I felt that sometimes LOA seems like manipulation and not accepting a "dark side" of a moment… Like if it's something wrong and only happy people deserve good things, because the Universe has a dark sense of humor and gives us what we are afraid – and we have to manipulate the Universe. I don't like this feeling. I think I may be seeing only part of it because of this phase I'm in.
I think condition happens for a reason. Needing money and/or support (just like me, right now with my "[goodness gratious] great cojones of fire" to undertake this major change) is normal. I'm not going (or try to) focus only on the lack of a confortable amount of those things, but on the general circumstances that have very positive traits and things i need to take care of, and not be so negatively overwhelmed.
But I am scared, happy and sad, and in need, but sometimes confident. I am a scared puppy with huge predator fangs (that's a weird immage).
Feeling not in need feels fake. And also negative. I want to attract good things. But right now this miscelaneous of feelings are the authentic ones. I accept them. Right now I can't feel better than this. And I deserve good things (kind of stubborness and angerness in here :P).
Few what a stream of conciousness…
Thank you for your blog and all you try to give to others.
Huge hugs, as your normally say. 🙂
You’re right not to try and pretend that you don’t feel scared. Of course you do. You’re making huge changes in your life. That’s scary. It’s bringing up more of your fears, some of which you may not have previously encountered before. It’s not about not having any fears. It’s how you deal with them, and you can’t deal with them, if you don’t acknowledge that they’re there. Just move incrementally. Soothe yourself, trust as much as you can, and try to distract yourself when you can’t. This is a process. If you’re able to feel good sometimes, and you focus on those times, then you’re doing really well.
I’m going to link to a very relevant post to this topic below. If you haven’t read it, I think it will help. 🙂
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!
Have a great day!
I’m going to be late for my appointment this mourning responding to this article, but it’s going to be worth it 🙂
So far out of hundreds of blogs I’ve researched (including Steve Pavlina’s) I haven’t found anyone that thinks like me (I know, dangerous!) Melody you are beyond awesome.
Melody, I am going to put you in my new resource page.
Tithing can be any type of giving, it doesn’t have to be money. I agree with Melody, you have to feel comfortable in whatever you do. I remember something I read awhile back. A test was performed with two groups of people. One group ate a normal American diet while the other group ate nothing but health food for one month. The health food by the way, consisted of greens that lacked in taste, to say the least. The results: the group that ate a conventional diet were healthier than the group that ate healthy. Why? Because they hated the taste of the health food, they were not happy eating something they didn’t want to eat.
The point is: we have to feel comfortable doing what we’re doing. There’s no right or wrong about it. If you feel like giving 10% of your money to the church, and it makes you feel good, then do it. However, you have to check in with yourself to see if the feeling is authentic. It’s not about what your neighbor does, or family and friends. It’s about how you “feel.” When you can get to that place where you “know” your real feelings, you’ll be unstoppable. 🙂
I’m late to my appointment!
LOL, oopsy! Don’t be late on my account! I’ll still be here after the appointment, he, he.
Ooh, the food story is a great one. I’m a huge proponent of the fact that we are meant to really enjoy our food. Health food that tastes like crap isn’t healthy. There is such a thing as food that makes us feel good physically, emotionally and mentally AND that tastes amazing. I’ve been eating that way for quite some time. It’s not only possible, it’s awesome. 🙂
It always comes down to how we feel. Period.
I tithe, but I haven’t always and I was raised to believe in tithing. About 12 years ago, it was laid on my heart that I needed to tithe to a local church (I don’t go to church-but I believe in a Supreme Being ) anyway I mentally fought my feelings until finally I said fine! I will tithe! Take my damn money. And I really didn’t expect anything back-but I have to say that we’ve been blessed in life since I’ve been tithing. Now, I don’t give the exact ten percent that is preached-(I don’t ever figure it)-I give what I am comfortable with and some months it’s more some less.
If it feels right to you, then don’t fight it. 😉 Your belief is definitely playing a part here. You believe that tithing is a good thing and expect it to be good for you. And so it is. You didn’t put any specific demands on what should happen, but you don’t need to. The Universe knows what you want. Good for you.
what about tithing to someone/somewhere who keeps you spiritually fed? Like a favorite blogger, your favorite park where you walk in silence, etc..
I do wish some bloggers had a donate button on their website. I know Steve pavlina does..
Ok, Ok, I’ll add a donate button! 😉 Actually, I’ve been asked that so many times now, I think I will do it. But I have family visiting this week and am trying to keep my workload minimal, so I’ve added it to my to do list next week. I think Steve did it right from the beginning. Smart boy…
And yes, you can tithe to anyone, as long as it feels good. They don’t even necessarily need to be needy. You can tithe to your waitress. Give her a fantastic tip, make her day. Does that feel good? Then it counts. 🙂
OMG, Melody. I finished reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich yesterday in which he mentions “you can’t get something for nothing” as one of the ways the universe works. I was going to write in and ask you about this one!
We had briefly touched upon it in the past, where we stated that the universe is all about expansion and creation and you can create something from nothing, as masters produce amulets just by focus and vizualization in their minds. I wonder if pure, clear thoughts based on deep, unwavering faith are also what are responded to instead if only material things. How about one’s time, expertise, help with referrals on LinkedIn or forwarding articles if interest to colleagues and the sharing of information and ideas? These must count, too, because they are vibrational as well.
Though Hill was commenting on the material. But I believe the sharing of all our resources will take us to riches, since by riches he meant riches if all kinds, not just money. This includes power, influence, health, relationships, spirituality, etc.
But, I agree with you. It is all in the vibration of it all. You need to truly, deeply feel something and give. I would just like to know what it means to the universe. In order to receive, we need to be if that vibration. I think the same goes for giving. If
Kat, it looks as though your comment got cut off? Did you have more to say? If so, I would love to read it! 🙂
I read and respond to these on my iphone, which did a weird Cut/Paste thing today as I accidentally pressed on something, so it moved some words around. 🙂
I wanted to say that it has to be heartfelt. Everything we do needs to be heartfelt, this is the point of the masters. And I think that is the way of the universe as well.
Oh, and sometimes the word “of” comes out as “if” on the iphone which has a tiny keyboard. I hope that is clear. Thank you!!!!!
Yes, time and effort count. Often though, we don’t think they do, and so the return flow of energy is blocked. For example, if you don’t think that giving of yourself in a way that represents “real” value counts, then you won’t be able to accept the energy back into your life. So, you may give love, and that energy could come back to you as money (to bring you something you really want), but you might not let it, because love doesn’t equal the same value as money to you. From the Universe’s perspective, though, it’s all just energy. So, when you are in a state of appreciation and abundance and you give of yourself in whatever way feels good to you. so you are putting out wonderful, aligned energy without depleting yourself, then energy can also flow freely back into your life in whatever way is best for you. Giving your time is tithing, too. Giving kindness is tithing. Sending love is tithing. But, since we are talking about money here, you have to allow money to flow to you in order for the energy that’s coming to you to flow into your reality in that specific way.
I often get the sense that a lot of the ‘masters/gurus’ talk of giving to receive, because they reached a point where they feel such joy in giving, it makes perfect sense to them. Yet I wonder if they went through their journey so quickly that they never had or forgot the part where giving wasn’t fun or joyous, but an obligation.
At the same time, I realize that they very easily could have just started giving joyously, and reaped the rewards extolled by so many, because they were at the right vibration so quickly. It’s very hard to tell. Knowing how someone else has reached a certain state doesn’t always make our journey as simple does it? Well it could, but what fun would that be? I mean, just deciding something, acting on it and seeing the amazing results…who would want that, right? Obviously, as Abe would say, ‘wrestling our problems to the ground’ is so much more fun. LOL!
To immediately accept that we can feel joy, and have everything we need or want, would be the way to go. We would never even worry about what or when to give. We would do it when we wanted, and be just as joyous as the gurus! But so many of us gotta’ rewrite that old programming first, and don’t seem to get it quite as quickly.
But once you get a rewriting process that works, it starts happening so much faster!!!! That’s when the fun started for me. The vibration of happiness started so many things moving!
I noticed that Christina’s & mine are the only 2 comments so far but Melody Dear I think you need to make a big pot of coffee(or tea) as I feel you have opened Pandoras box on this one.
LOL John. I think you’re right. This is turning out to be a popular one. But it’s no surprise. I got a lot of requests for this topic. 🙂
On the subject of Tithing ( Please forgive me this long comment ) – I like to give to a charity/charities when I know that the money I give is actually going to support the people(s) who the charity represents. The problem we have these days is that there are some very smart (and devious) marketing companies out there that have found a way to increase their profits by representing charities to raise funds – as an example , here in Australia we have an organisation called the Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade , unfortunately a lot of these type of organisations are not supported by the Government , these guys and gals do a fantastic job all the time not just during bush fire session , but in order for them to get the funds they need to buy equipment etc they have to raise their own so they have a fund raising drive in the form of a lottery where they have a first , second and third prize , the first prize usually being a car or a shopping gift card to the same value.
My point is this – when they used to ring up I’d buy tickets as I had assumed that the money raised was all going to them and I was not concerned if I won a prize or not , the job they do was more important than winning something I didn’t really need. One day whilst reading their entry brochure they send out I happened to read the small print at the bottom and was shocked to find that they do not run the lottery themselves but it is run by a marketing company on their behalf which in itself is not a problem , the issue I have is how much the marketing company charges the charity in order to raise the funds – 5% of gross proceeds $0.90/phone call $24,000.00 date base management fee the cost of printing , postage & cost of prizes not exceeding 15% of the gross proceeds raised – whatever is left over goes to the VBFB , how much out of the lottery actually goes to the VBFB is anyones guess.
So my question is this – is it wrong to refuse to give to a charity when you know that only a small percentage of what you give is actually going to support the charity in question ?
I now prefer to give to the charity when I see them holding a chocolate wheel type event outside the local shopping or having a sausage sizzle at the local hardware store.
Again my apologies for the length of this thing.
No, it’s not wrong to give or not give to a charity for any reason. If something feels off to you, don’t give to them. Go with your gut. If you give and don’t feel good about it, you won’t benefiting yourself or anyone else. You have no obligation to give for any reason. If you want to, that’s great. If not, for any reason, don’t.
Give when it feels good. Period. You don’t need to justify your choices in any other way than that it feels good or doesn’t.
There. Doesn’t that feel better? 🙂
I saw this in my email this morning and knew I had to respond to this! It’s like you’re completely in sync in my brain right now. Since I am a Christian, I’m going at this from a biblical standpoint. At least how I am interpreting and understanding.
Two months ago we were doing pretty well financially. We were more than getting by. Things were good. My husband said, “I think we need to tithe. We need to give ten percent of our gross.” I mean that’s the “right” way, right? Those are the “first fruits” according to almost every pastor that has preached on this.
We were already giving to a charity we felt strongly about. It was sacrificial at the time, but each month we’d made our pledge. Then we added the ten percent on TOP of that giving because, well, it wasn’t to our church, and that was “wrong”, right? Isn’t God’s house the storehouse for our tithes according to Malachi?
Two months later and we’re struggling financially. My husband’s hours at work were cut, he’s working two crappy part-time jobs, and we have one thing after another go wrong. I’m saying, “How did we manifest this!” He was saying, “We’re tithing, we’re going to church, we’re doing all the right things, why are we being punished?”
That got me thinking. The punishment part as well as the “doing” part. Are we doing these things because we love God or are we doing them because they’re the “right” thing to do?
Let me say now that during this time, even as we struggled, our needs WERE met. We had groceries. We paid our rent. The car issues were paid for. The money came, and I am thankful. But as I looked at our budget at the end of the month I realized that we were drowning. And I thought back to everything I have learned about God’s character over the past two years, the times we’d given without thought, when we gave with no thought of getting anything back. Weren’t we blessed then? Even though we didn’t sit down and figure ten percent with a calculator, we were blessed, and not just financially. We had peace. We were happy.
This is what I’ve been studying and praying about and reading about for the past two weeks:
If God loves us unconditionally, accepts us as we are, then why would he go against that character for not tithing?
God doesn’t need our money, and living under grace there is nothing we can “do” for a blessing. It’s ours. He’s said it’s ours, and it’s not by works by by faith. We just have to ask.
Figuring out ten percent and working it into the budget was killing me. I was scared I was missing something. Did I count all our income? What about my husband’s tips from his second job? Were we giving the right amount? And again, that goes back to the character of God. He says to give generously and joyfully. That wasn’t how I felt. I was stressed out.
I remembered when we’d began giving to the charity. My husband and I felt led to give the exact same amount of money. I believe this was Spirit led. Other times, I gave money to a family stranded on the road with car trouble. The same day, my husband had given money to a man at the exit off the Interstate holding a sign. Neither of us knew we’d done it, the money wasn’t written in the budget, yet we never missed it. We gave because we felt LED to give. It felt right and good.
The tithing in the Old Testament was under the law, even before the Mosiac law was given. But we aren’t under the law anymore. We are under grace. When the widow gave her small amount money at the temple, Jesus showed us that example as he spoke to the Pharisees about their legalism. Isn’t sitting down with a calculator, worrying about gross or net and did we count everything, or do we need to count this or that – isn’t that legalism? Are we figuring out ten percent and rounding it up so we give “enough” or are we giving ten percent and nothing more? One church website I found listed about twenty different sources of income that “should” be tithed. I felt in my heart that was legalistic and not what God wanted for us at all.
My conclusion after all of this? Give with an open heart. Give generously. Just like you can’t fill your gas tank anymore with $10, neither can the church. But if $10 is what you have and what you feel led to give, then give it. Give the dollar to the homeless man on the street. Buy the candy or wrapping paper for your neighbor’s kids. If you have a strong heart for missions or to feed the hungry around the world, give to that. If you feel led to give to an animal shelter, give to that. Money may come back to you, it may not. But blessings will, because you will be at peace and won’t wonder if you’re giving in the “right” way or to the “right” place ever again.
Christina, what a beautiful, wonderful way of thinking! I, too, have recently started understanding the difference between “worthy” and “deserving” — in order to “deserve” I must do or earn, which is stressful and places the burden of receiving all my blessings on my actions. (that sentence is awkward, but I think you’ll know what I mean! :))
But the truth is, I am worthy just because I am. And God isn’t withholding blessings because of my actions — I create resistance to blessings and abundance if I am deciding if I’ve been “good enough” to receive them. God blesses me constantly, just because I AM. And there is nothing I can do to stop God from doing this. The Giving, the Love, is never ending — it is on my end, the Receiving, where I get confused and start thinking that I have to “earn” these blessings. No. I need only open my heart and receive. 🙂
thank you for sharing your insights!!!
Hey Christina and Kim,
Absolutely perfectly stated!! Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful perspective. God wants you to have everything you’ve ever wanted. He wants you to be happy. And you’re right, he doesn’t need your money. Don’t tithe out of obligation, even to your church. Tithe when you want to, give when it feels good. God wants you to feel good. Keep that in mind, always. 🙂
Firstly, that picturewith the teddy is SO frikkin CUTE !!!
Secondly? What u say about tithing applies to everyhting in our daily lives right? Like, the more we do something to get something we only perpetuate the want instead of manifesting what we want..
Things don’t work as an algorithm such that actions by themselves bloom into results.
I’ve read ur blog a million times and even then each time I read an article I discover something new !
I still have a question though..something that I haven’t been able to clear out of my head..how DO you balance between positive expectation ( so that u still remember what it is that u want’ without triggering the lack? What if I forget what I even want !? Please do clarify :-/ tx 🙂
Well, you pay attention to how you feel. True positive expectation feels really good. When it’s mixed with negative expectation, it feels off, or bad. Tell yourself “It’s coming. It’s on the way.” Feel good now, even when it’s not here. Make it less important to your happiness now. It is fine tuning. Often, you need to use a little bit of trial and error. But when you find the right vibration, you’ll soar. That’s how you know. 🙂