Awesome Steve asks: “I recently spent a long time out of work. I changed my whole perspective, took the LOA approach and landed a fantastic contract that was even better than I had dreamed. The contract has now ended and my dreams have changed. I’m now spending my time dreaming and feeling etc. but … my question! … How do I tell my spouse that I’m doing nothing to ‘look’ for a job? Instead I’m following my instincts and my dreams which include having money! I don’t tell her that for fear of appearing negligent although I feel I’m taking the most profitable approach.”

Normally, when I’m asked by someone how they can explain this LOA stuff to others, I tell them not to bother. Trying to go out and convert others to LOA is really the same as trying to get others to believe in God. The paradigm shift can be just as big. Unless someone is open to it, your attempts will not be appreciated. But what about when you’re in a marriage or relationship and only one of you is into LOA? How do you explain that your meditations and visualizations are actually “doing something”, and that you’re not being lazy or just avoiding doing the work? Obviously, you can’t just ignore your spouse, providing you’re not in a totally dysfunctional relationship.

Understand your partner’s point of view

Of course you are entitled to your beliefs and your point of view. And you don’t have to justify your right to believe as you do. However, when you’re trying to explain a belief system to someone else, especially if your beliefs differ greatly from theirs, you have to take their point of view into account. You have to speak their language, so to speak, or it’s not going to work. Even though you’re going to try and convey your truth to them, you still can’t force them to see things from your perspective. What you really want to do, is try to foster an understanding of what you’re doing from their point of view. And in order to do that, you have to understand where they’re coming from.

So, for the sake of this discussion, I’m going to use a set of common beliefs as an example. Let’s say your partner is an intelligent, educated and at least moderately open minded person who isn’t super religious. She understands some basics of personal development, at least the non-Woo-Woo kind, and is open to ideas of self improvement. But she’s not deeply spiritual and she’s not open to talking about energy work, crystals, healing, convening with the non-physical, reality creation or manifesting, etc. That just sounds like a bunch of “Hippies in the Mist” stuff to her. Talk of vibrations and frequencies and the like send her running for the men with the white coats and the padded rooms (mental health professionals, not the S&M kind. Although, of course, I’m not going to judge you either way…).

And here you are, visualizing away, attuning yourself to the frequency of what you want, knowing that as you attain the feeling of your desire, you’re aligning yourself with it and it’s on its way into you reality. But all she sees is that you’re staying home, sitting on the couch, taking leisurely walks and smiling a lot. You don’t have a job and you don’t even have the good sense to be worried about it. And this is going to be part of the problem.

She’s afraid

You have to understand that your partner is afraid. She’s afraid that you’re not going to find a job. And your lack of fear on the subject is actually making her MORE afraid. Now she feels like she has to do the worrying for both of you. She’s operating under the belief that when you want something, you get it by worrying a lot, preparing for the worst possible outcome and taking as much action as possible. And you’re not doing any of those things, which is going to make her feel very, very insecure about your chances of finding a job. She doesn’t understand what you’ve figured out – that this old way of doing things is actually the slowest and most difficult way of going about getting anything. But just as you had to unlearn those old patterns, so will she, but in her own time. Until then, this is what she believes and her fear is part of her point of view. You’ll have to take that into account.

What to do energetically

First, I’m going to give you some tips on what you can do with your vibration, so that you can support her in her understanding of what you’re doing (and not doing). Then, I’ll give you some practical tips on what you can actually say. Of course, the energy work is much more important than the words, and if you’ve lined up your vibration correctly, you’re going to be inspired to say the perfect words in order to bring about the result you want. So, I shouldn’t need to say this, but I will anyway: Don’t freaking skip this step, y’all. Seriously.

As you may have guessed, this is all going to be about you, not your partner, because this is really about which version of her you want to line up with. There’s the version of her that thinks you’ve lost your goddamned mind, and then there’s the version of her that totally gets what you’re doing. Oh, and then there are about a million versions in between those two extremes. Which one do you want to line up with?

First, take some time to become secure in your knowledge that the perfect job is on its way. She’s going to be picking up on your confidence on this matter. If you’re not sure, there’s no way that she can be.  And any insecurities you still have about your ability to get what you want will be mirrored back to you. So, quite frankly, this is the most important step. Line up with what you want so strongly that there’s hardly a doubt in your mind that it’s all going to work out. Remember that if doubts come up, get really, really general. You don’t need to know HOW the job is coming, just that it is.

Second, spend a little time visualizing the conversation you’re going to have. See her understanding you, and feeling secure. The idea here will not to be to school her in the ways of LOA and get her to by this blog’s biggest fan (not that I wouldn’t appreciate the effort). That’s not how this works. The main goal is to soothe her fears and let her know that you’ve got this. You want her to be just as secure as she would be if you were pounding the pavement every day. You want her to trust your judgment. That’s really all you can ask for here. You won’t be able to take away all her fears about the economy, or the bills that have to be paid, etc. So, see her calming down as you speak with her, as understanding what you are saying and as trusting you to handle it. See her as loving you and as respecting your judgment even if she doesn’t quite understand your deepest reasons. Take the time to line up with this version of her.

What to say

Ok, for those of you who skipped right to this section, shame on you. Go back and read the section above. You know who you are. Damn LOA newbies. 😉

Again, if you’ve done the work of lining up your vibration with the version of her who will understand you, you’ll be inspired to say the perfect words. So, take the tips I’m about to give you as a guideline only and follow your intuition.

Her biggest fear will be that you’re not taking any action. She won’t consider visualizing and focusing as viable alternatives to actually pounding the pavement and looking through ads, so don’t bother trying to explain it that way. But what you can do is:

  • Explain that you’re no longer willing to just take ANY old job. You’ve figured out that certain jobs with certain qualities bring you a great deal more joy than others.
  • Tell her that each job you’ve had in your life has made you realize in greater detail what you want and what you don’t want, and that you’re now selecting your work environment and tasks more deliberately, more consciously than you did before. You’ve started to evaluate each job you’ve had and you’re figuring out what you want to do next.
  • Explain that you’re merely taking some time to select what kind of job you really want before taking focused action. You don’t want to go out and waste your time peppering the city with your CV, hoping someone out there might have a job for you, kind of like placing an ad on a billboard. You’re defining what you want so that when you do take action, it’ll be targeted specifically at only those who are actually a match to what you want. Marketing campaigns work the same. If you run a TV ad, you get exposure to millions of people, but many of them won’t want what you’re selling. You’re essentially paying to reach a lot of people who will never buy from you. But if take some time to prepare a short list of people who actually want your product, you’ll spend a lot less money and time in the long run for much greater gains.
  • Point out that you have used this process successfully once before. That during your last work hiatus, you figured out that if you too selective action, you got much better results with far greater effort and that  it was this process that ultimately landed you not only a job, but the job of your dreams. Explain that this wasn’t luck, but a deliberate process, and all the time you took before to figure this process out will ensure that this hiatus won’t be nearly as long.
  • Tell her that you’re also practicing positive thinking. Positive thinking and visualizing what you want will retrain your brain to look for and notice the qualities of the job you want. Studies have shown that those who have trained themselves to be solution oriented thinkers do, in fact, find solutions to problems much faster and more often than those who are problem oriented. The brain processes over 80% of the information it perceives subconsciously. This means that less than 20% of the information that you take in on a daily basis ever makes it into your conscious awareness. When you reprogram your brain, you are actually telling it what kind of information should be passed on to the conscious mind. You are simply telling your brain to sift through all the data you collect every day and pass on the information that matches the jobs you want NEXT, instead of the same old jobs you’ve already had.
  • Ask her to reinforce these positive thinking patterns by being positive with you. It’s easy to slip back into old thinking habits, and look for the job you’ve had but hated. This is how people stay stuck in old patterns. They may change jobs, but they select the same crappy environment over and over again. You’re simply changing the pattern.
  • Make her part of the process. Perhaps she’s noticed things you liked about past jobs and can remind you of them. When did you seem happiest? When did you seem most relaxed? When were you most balanced, could spend time with her, didn’t worry about work all weekend, etc.? Some of these criteria will be important to her, as well, so as she helps you define your list, she may well start to focus on details that make her feel better, which will inadvertently get her on board much faster. She’ll be visualizing about your job, but in a way that makes her feel good. Then, when you find a job with those qualities, she’ll recognize the success of the process for herself as well as you, making future deliberate manifestations much easier. She’ll remember how well it worked this time.

Bottom line

It’s really important that you remember that this is not about you bringing your partner into the LOA fold, or totally changing her beliefs. It’s about her understanding that you are doing something, that you’re not avoiding the problem out of fear, or just being lazy. You have a plan and you’re executing it. Any explanation you offer should be designed to garner that understanding.  In time, she may well ask you to explain these processed more specifically, and if that happens, you could possibly get a bit more Woo Woo on her. But don’t go there unless and until she’s open to it. And generally speaking, times of stress and fear, like when you’re looking for a job, are not the best times to offer these explanations. That’s when her resistance will be highest. You’ll find her much more open to these concepts when all is going really well. Then, she may pick up one of your books and ask you about it. For now, use the tips I’ve given you here to calm her fears.

Have you explained any part of LOA to a partner or close friend? What strategies did you use?  What was the outcome? Share your tips in the comments!

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  • I like and appreciate this post; esp the message that the old way of working hard and slogging is the slowest and most painful way of doing anything. But what I have seen is when you can stop focusing on others’ worry, either they will worry on their own and wont bother you or they may shift to feel better as well. I have figured out, no matter what we experience or do or say, we cant make anyone else experience ANYTHING. If they have to feel better, they need to make a conscious decision to feel better. If not, no matter what we experience or do or say, they will be miserable.

  • Five years ago my daughters (14 years old) would say: “Hey dad, I got a “C” on my test, why did I create a “C” instead of an “A”?” Oh boy I said, I created these LOA monsters. Last night Amber’s boyfriend got in a motorcycle accident. He’s okay, don’t worry! Amber took him home from the hospital and is now taking care of him. Camille, my other daughter said to me last night, “Dad, why did this happen to Amber’s boyfriend? Is he expecting Amber to be his mom?” Well, Amber’s boyfriend has a huge issue with his mom, and Camille put two and two together and thought Amber’s boyfriend through LOA attracted Amber in his life to be his mom. Amber attracted him into her life because she wanted someone to take care of?

    The LOA monsters are at it again!!! I told Camille I don’t know why this all happened, and frankly my dear I don’t give a damm (I didn’t really say that) The point is: who cares! What are you going to do about it now? We create things, people and experiences in our lives and then we ask why. The only control we have is now, what are we going to do about it now, we have choices.

    How does this relate to Melody’s article?……Oh Melody was right, I did skip ahead so now I have to go back and find out what she was talking about.

    Oh yeah! Here we go, it’s not easy to convince your partner out of what makes them feel comfortable and safe. “Especially when they depend on you for part of their security.” Ugh, it can get real complicated. However, we have signed an unwritten agreement with our partners and now they are a part of us. We can leave them? That’s what some people do, or we can ignore them? Nah…..that doesn’t work well.

    In a sense we could leave them, but not physically. We can “leave” them alone and know they are who they are. Meaning they are not us. We could “ignore” them, but ignore everything that doesn’t make sense to us. We could love them, by accepting them, and not trying to change them.

    Bruce Lee said: “Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, and add uniquely your own” I love that!

    The Law of Allowing states: Accept them for who they are even if they don’t accept you for who you are.

    A few years ago my wife did a 180 on me. She went from believing in the law of attraction to disbelieving it completely, like flicking a switch. Trying to convince her otherwise was futile to say the least. It was like talking to a preteen…….impossible!!!

    Now I look back and think, who was I to try to convince her of something she didn’t want to believe? I gained insight and awareness through knowing she was different. It turns out that she respects me for respecting her for who she is by not trying to force her to understand me and my ways. It was almost too easy.

    • Hey Tony,

      First of all, I love your kids. Had to be said. Great job teaching them to be aware. I do think there is value in determining how we’ve created unwanted events, though. Not to harp on them, but to shift the underlying cause and to get the message that was embedded in there. For your daughter, the clue is in how she feels about this situation with her boyfriend. Is she happily taking care of him? That doesn’t make him his mom. Perhaps she just wanted to be the strong one for a change. Perhaps he needed to find out it’s ok to be the weak one for once. This could show them a whole new dynamic of their relationship, something they wanted but wouldn’t have explored in another way. There’s a positive message in there somewhere. There always is. 🙂

      And bravo for allowing your wife to be who she is. If more people did that, marriage counselors would be out of business. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

      • Thanks Melody, my kids love you too……really. Yes, there is great value in knowing what you’ve created. However, it got out of hand and they were questioning more than doing. They were actually blaming themselves for creating a “mistake” (not really a mistake). I realize that understanding LOA has it’s stages of learning. They happen to be in the stage of blaming and confusing. We are working out the lose ends on that :). Thanks for your input, always appreciated.

        Next up, Amber and I had a talk last night. Oh this boy has a huge problem with his mom. She is one of the most controlling moms, ever. He is 25 years old and she controls his life. Amber refuses to go to his house anylonger. When she would go to his house, his mom (she lives somewhere else) barges in with out knocking. She ignores Amber completely, and starts to argue with her son.

        This boy fights with his mom constantly. He told Amber that he lost all of his previous girlfriends because of his mom. All of his friends hate (and I mean hate) his mom. When he threatens to move out she becomes the good witch and tells his whatever he wants or needs she will give it too him…….grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

        Okay Melody, you and I are both into psychology, we know what’s going on here and it’s too much to get into.

        Amber already knows this,but we talked about it anyway, First off, this boy lives in his mothers house. He has the opportunity to move the heck out of there. He knows she is disrupting his life and he is not doing anything about it.

        He has been condition and programmed by his mother for many years. He is unaware of his choices. Again, too much to get into.

        Interesting because Amber, the wise person that she is, plays a big part in this. This can play out in several ways. She could open his mind to the possibility that he has a choice to make life better for himself. That he has been repeating this dysfunctional pattern (and behavior) for too long, and now it’s time to do something about it.

        His mothers power over him my be overwhelmingly strong, and he may forever be stuck in this whirlwind of “mommy dearest” even after she dies.

        He may have attracted Amber in his life to aid in his awareness. Yes, I believe that is what is happening. Amber on the other hand (she is so wise, but inexperienced) will gain great knowledge and experience from all of this. She attracted him for that very reason. He is actually a real nice boy, he just needs to get over his mommy.

        Life is so wonderful if we see growth. Experiences, situations, and mistakes are all part of our growth. By being more aware each time, makes us a better person. Sometimes (actually most of the time) we attract people in our lives to help us. Those people can be good, bad, unaware, or aware, it doesn’t matter. We can learn from everyone.

        Melody’s articles make a difference in people’s lives. I thank you Melody for being who you are.

        Shiny new (and more aware) puppy

        • Hi Tony,

          Nice to see you hear again! 🙂

          I’m a grown woman and I still question my manifestations and wonder what the heck happened and doubt the whole thing.

          You are right. Who cares? It doesn’t matter how? I guess I was trying to pick things apart so that the past doesn’t repeat itself.
          Instead you create a confused mess. It’s just like unravelling a ball of yarn to find the end.

          So I should just keep on moving forward and resist the temptation to dig too much.
          In my quest to remove resistance so I don’t manifest situations again and again–I’m keeping myself stuck.

          I am glad I don’t have kids for multiple reasons. I wouldn’t be able to teach this to children unless I had 100% certainty this is real.
          Until then, no point passing something on, when my heart is not really in it myself.

          How does their mother feel now she no longer believes, about her children absorbing something that to her isn’t true?
          Is this a source of friction?

          I can imagine that would be like Richard Dawkins having to sit on his hands and tape up his mouth as he is tied to a chair watching a parent read the Qur’an or the creation story to their kids and knowing they are in their formative years. 🙂 A big challenge!

          I feel LOA would be more beneficial taught at a younger age when the mind has less limiting beliefs and children would manifest some really big things, with less limitations.
          I feel comfortable about LOA and children as it’s more of a philosophy than a dogma, so I guess this can only benefit them.

          My concern is that humans are ready yet. How do people react when you tell them your beliefs?
          How do your children explain LOA to the other school children when people bring up personal beliefs?
          Has this ever been an issue?

          Luckily we live in a time where witch hunts no longer happen!


          I have a young friend I am protecting.
          They have a happy life, loving family and are excelling at school, their part-time job and have many friends.
          Some of their peers are considering telling them the nasty stuff about the world for their own good.
          We love this person dearly and it created disagreements.

          I’m on the camp that wants to leave their innocence as I think it’s their key to success–they only expect good.
          Others are saying that they are so naieve, what if someone took advantage of it?

          I understand the concern, but I want to retain their positive bubble, it’s so rare!

          As a parent, how do you feel about people that want to “open their eyes to the ways of the world”?
          Is this right?

          Hope you liked my interview! 🙂

          • Hi Alice!

            Have you ever heard the saying “The older you get, the less you care?” That my friend is so true. We tend to analyze too much, and we’re too much in our heads.

            Yes, move forward but as far as resisting the temptation soon you won’t have to do that. The more you become aware and knowledgeable, the less you resist. The resisting can wear you out. Don’t fight it.

            Alice, my relationship with my Ex-wife is unusual. I stopped resisting and now accepting her for who she is. The amazing thing is she stopped resisting me. Our belief system is way different, but that doesn’t matter if we allow the other person to be who they are.

            We all communicate on another level, that part of her knows I am allowing of her. She may not know it on a conscious level, but the deeper part of her knows. That’s why we can’t lie because the deeper part always knows.

            The results are that she trust me, she even confides in me about her relationships and says I give good advice. Sometimes we go out dancing together and maybe out for some tea. Why are we not together, because we are vibrating differently? We are on two separate paths leading to the same destination, in different directions.

            Yes, I agree LOA is better taught at a younger age because younger people are more open to new ideas than older people. However, LOA is sometimes difficult to understand. Besides there are complimentary laws and sub categories of LOA. For example there is the Law of Balance. You can’t continue to create continuously forever without a pause or a break.

            My daughters were confused because they thought they could create this perfect world without challenges. I told them to think of life as a stream. When you head down the stream you will encounter obstacles as in rocks, branches, and sometimes boulders. You don’t create these obstacles, but you learn to avoid them. By avoiding them we have “created” a clear path.

            In life, when we create something, we sometimes create by means of not creating what we don’t want. We avoid the obstacles (sometimes known as people) but not by force, but by awareness and understanding.

            We will always bump into these challenging people, but we don’t have to live with them, associate with them, or even talk to them. However, we will if we challenge them. Understanding that they are headed in the same direction we are, but taking a different path will alleviate the confusion.

            Alice, the cool thing about my beliefs is I don’t have to convince anyone else. When people try to convince other people it’s because they’re trying to convince themselves. My belief works for me, but it may not work for someone else. If someone wants to believe in an anthropomorphic god, what right do I have to try to take that away from them. I don’t need to because I understand we are all different, and that’s not wrong.

            It just happens that my daughters have friends that have similar beliefs. It has never been a problem for them because they are aware of human differences.

            You mentioned earlier about teaching LOA at a young age, and how it can be beneficial. Yes, and teaching and building a strong foundation with good morals at an early age is supreme. I don’t worry about my daughters falling into the cracks of society, and being convinced otherwise.

            They are strong in their beliefs, and they are very content with it.

            Thanks Alice for the interview, I’m sure reading Melody’s articles has brought some wonderful insight into your life.


          • Hello Tony,

            Enjoyed this. Lots of ideas here to absorb!

            There will be obstacles, no stopping or fighting that fact. But how I deal with them is my choice. And usually my resistance determines the obstacles…like boulders on my path. The size of the boulders is up to me. The more I fight, the bigger they can become, and the more difficult they are to move. Or, I can acknowledge them, and then figure out a way to go around/get past the resistance, instead of fighting/pushing against it.

            I love getting new perceptions for this stuff!! Thanks. 😀

          • Nay, that is such an awesome synopsis. I agree, and live by that belief myself. I gave a brief description and of course there’s always more to it add.


          • When you see a photograph of a beautiful person, do you admire the beautiful person or the photographer that came up with the idea, mastered the camera and brought the beautiful person to the attention of the world in the first place?

            Is it more important to be the person that everyone sees, where the admiration will go to the flashiest, the loudest, the most obvious star or to play the fool and stand behind the curtain, writing the scripts of the performers?

            Not related to anything….but just thoughts I had, which I think you’d like Tony. 🙂

      • Accidents aren’t always negative.

        There was a Chinese story about a guy that broke his leg. The family thought “why did he break his leg”
        Some people would instantly judge that person and assume bad karma or they are the “slow learner” in the LOA class.

        Turns out there was a war on and his broken leg exempt him from going to fight and die. So really, he was spared.

        Broken leg guy=the real LOA master. 🙂

  • Hi again Melody,

    I found some related articles about looking for work, no working etc… AND WOW! Look at the stigma and nastiness in some of the comments here! Especially convo between Diana, Rebecca and Guest. (link below)
    I couldn’t imagine working 25hrs AND looking for work and making applications, attending interviews… but some people expect everyone has the energy and health of a leopard or something…

    And that’s for a normal, healthy person…

    Steve is VERY brave. What’s wrong with society and it’s aggressiveness towards the unemployed?

    This comment:
    “What a boring article, and what a lie that she can’t find work – go work at Maccas or Coles. I’m sick of my tax dollars paying for ‘poor me’ people who think they can’t find work. Are you too good to take one of the 3000 jobs just announced by McDonald’s? No sympathy.”

    Why do people always suggest working for a fast food company as the alternative for unemployment?
    It’s really not as easy as people think. Fast food has got to be one of the most demanding, stressful jobs out there.
    Getting burnt with oil, sweating, getting talked down to by customers, serving food you know is bad for them, supporting a megacorportation.
    If you claim that’s against your beliefs…well again “job snob”

    This type of thinking breaks my heart, I loved your article Melody, but I feel there is too much stigma about work and just doing anything and pulling your weight otherwise society will truly detest and resent you.
    “taxpayers dollars” always comes up.

    Megalasaurus makes a great point about those in the “too hard basket” she talks about someone so is sick or injured.
    Someone too sick too work, but not sick enough to be able to claim disability. What they do to those people is just nasty…

    Where do all these crazy ideas come from?

    • I even remember Dr.Phill saying something like this….telling a grown woman that didn’t have job to just work at Maccas…
      And then the audience cheered as she got upset and tried to explain why not and they deemed her “too good” and “snobby”.


      • Alice, excuse my French, but, who gives a shit what other people think? Including Dr Phil?

        Steve can do what he chooses. His choices aren’t dependent on her. She can do what she chooses. Her choices aren’t dependent on him. We live in a plentiful, abundant Universe. There’s infinite amounts of everything for everyone. Everyone can have, do, be what they want. One thing isn’t dependent on another. Ever. Unless you make it so. That’s a hugely limiting belief.

        As for labels, they’re about as helpful as concrete boots when you’re swimming. Everything you find yourself stuck with, including a label, is nothing more than a vibrational habit. It’s a limiting belief. Anyone who enjoys their label and even deems it felicitous, like Dr Phil for instance is also in a vibrational habit and is also living in a limiting belief.

        And I do love you Alice. I’m drenching you in love :]

        • Heelllo Dawnstar,

          I just used Dr.Phill as an example as he is well known and just as an example of how wide spread the beliefs are.

          Well it kinda does matter what people think if they are in control of something. An acquaintance mentioned yet another story about the dealings with the Australian welfare system.
          They finished a course, but were no jobs in that area they studied for. So they are looking for something else, but on top of that instead of compassion, the people there are demeaning about the whole thing.
          This isn’t just her, I’ve heard and seen countless instances where this government body is just really, really gross in the treatment of people already down on their luck.
          It’s a very low vibrational place and just swallows and drags anybody further down if they need to go there.
          Short-term people have a ok to good experience, they just get pretty cruel on the longer term job seekers, students etc and really put them through the works.
          It does attract some nice workers, but the majority are the authority-seeking type that have some hatred towards people in general.

          Yay, love! Was just being silly, but always nice. 🙂 Has been helping. I am feeling it slowly but surely.

    • Hey Alice,

      All those people are just expressing their own fears – that someone else’s unemployment could take something away from them. It’s a limiting belief. And as Dawn said, we can’t make what they think more relevant than what we think.

      I’m not a fan of Dr. Phil’s. I’m having dejavu here. Did we talk about him before? I remember you sending me a video… Anywho, put very bluntly, I find him to be a bit of a dick. And sure, powerless people love seeing other people get destroyed. The Romans did it with the gladiators. In the middle ages, public hangings were entertainment. Now, we have reality TV and Dr. Phil.

      I’d like to offer a very different perspective, via a quote from Buckminster Fuller. I do plan on blogging more about this, but want to find more practical examples of this philosophy in action:

      “We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.”



      • Wow!

        I’ve had thoughts similar to this quote going through my head recently, and they scared me a little. Which told me sooo much about my beliefs on working. ‘You have to make a living’ is a mantra drilled into us from very early on. But that idea is starting to sound ‘off’ when I think it, so the beliefs are fading. 🙂 That light is pushing it’s way through to the surface of my bubbling cauldron of a brain, despite ingrained habitual beliefs. Yea! 😀

        But I would love to see this philosophy in action. It’s hard to wrap your head around it when you are trying to intellectualize it into daily living. Kidding…kinda. The idea of that Utopia being a reality is mind altering, to say the least. I think I’ll start looking around and seeing just how many people are living this way, no matter how they are doing it. And also see which are happy with how they are doing it, and which are not…

      • This is soooo frustrating for me. I have one foot in either camp of everything.
        Here, I probrably look like I don’t get it. What a stick in the mud, what a negative person.
        She’s no puppy! (the imaginary people say that clack their tongues)

        But newsflash: In my real life I’m “an idealist” and “optimistic” and “head in the clouds”

        On one hand these are the types of quotes I’d give people. I can answer my own damn questions.
        I’m the one that watched Zeitgeist and got really catch up with all the ideas of Jaque Fresco.
        (If you don’t know about him, look him up–he’s cool, he gets it)

        Melody—I’ve noticed something about myself. One this blog I often mention science and explanations. I want to understand and get this deep into my mind.

        Around logical people…I try to get them to look at things with the righ-hand side of their brain.
        I’m a fae, a fool a rainbow adrift in a sea of foolish foolery.

        So jack of all trade, master of none.

        I can’t fully throw my heart and soul to the universe and believe everything will be alright.
        I can’t go with science and explanations as it’s too boring, kills my soul and makes me feel there is more to life.
        I need passion.

        So that’s me explained. That’s what it feels like to have your feet in two different shoes.
        So YES I GET what Buckminster Fuller says a thousand times over and even the act of people telling me this is….like…I don’t know… but you get it.

        But making this world true in real life, when all those around me and the people I help are in another reality and I have no proof, and all I’ve know is there is rent to pay and it’s a big deal…
        Well, reality slaps me so hard in the face and I’m a natural social worker so I hear it all the time.

        Now maybe now, hopefully, I’ve won some hearts and I make more sense. I-get-it. But making that real…another story.

        • I’m surrounded by people talking about this very issue.

          I have a few friends that were students and the teachers failed to mention there are no positions and the job market for what they are studying is low or occupied.
          People get into those jobs, there’s limited positions over the country.

          This is not what they studied, but just for example say your dream was to be an astronomer…
          Well there are a limited amount of telescopes, so it’s not like they are hiring your skill set all over the place.
          And that’s where reality sets in….What will LOA do? Built more million dollar equipment centres so that one person can have a place to view the stars?

          I just can’t feel good about these topics that are about the roof over your head.
          It’s so hard to get the need out of something you actually need.

          Everyone has an achilles heel, that and health is mine. I can feel good about other things others can’t.

          • Hey Alice,

            I know it can be hard when you’re surrounded by people who don’t get it. Immersing yourself in communities like this one, where there are people who do get it helps a lot.

            Actually, LOA would inspire the building of more telescopes and needs for them, yes. But of course it’s hard to hold on to the belief that you can get a job in a field that everyone around you has declared dead. Not impossible, but hard.

            I feel so appreciative of the internet. When I was a teenager, having these thoughts, we didn’t yet have the net, and I never really met anyone who thought like me. It felt like it was me against the world and there were times when I did wonder if I wasn’t actually delusional. Now, us freaks can find each other. 😛

            Hang in there. It does get easier with time.

            Huge hugs,

  • I also feel right now, I love nearly everybody. (was going to say everyone then thought of my redneck/bogan neighbours)

    Anyone that wants to give me some love, come and show it, send it, hug it, kiss it LOL come on! 🙂

    Show me the loooove! 🙂

    • LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove

      Oh, did I mention Love?

      Happy Shiny Smooshy Puppy Hugs. With chocolate. 😀

      • Yay!!!!

        *Happy dance with sky punches*

        Soaking up the love.

        Lol enough people join in I shall be HEALED by JAYBUS!

        But then what would I do? I’d be so blindly nice I’d make everyone sick. 🙂

  • Thanks Melody,

    How will Steve deal with the guilt though?

    While he lines up with the perfect life for him, his partner slaves away at some job and pays for his time off.
    She may no be living her perfect life, but one of them has to keep the bills paid.

    What happens if she decides to do the same thing as Steve?????

    Maybe telling her about L.O.A. would backfire as she will think “hmm I want to do this too, but I can’t as I’m paying for Steve to find himself and we both can’t leave our jobs…”

    Also in the case he wasn’t lucky enough to have a partner pay his way while he works stuff out, what would he tell the welfare people?

    They want people to just get any job. If they don’t they are a “job snob” How do us idealist deal with these heavy labels when trying to move into a better life?

    Who is responsible to pay while we make these transitions?

    What happens if she loses her job?

    This is a very important post. And as I said to John, the picture is your best yet.

    • If a person truly believes they have enough they wouldnt be concerned about how the bills would be paid, they would intuitively know the bills will be paid, it wouldnt matter if both he and his wife quit their jobs. The Universe will give to you what you believe it will. Before I married, I had a well paying job I hated, I quit without having a clue as to where money would come from. I didnt know about the LOA then but I somehow new God would handle it. I didnt worry about it I use to say “let go and let god”– I didnt have to apply for any welfare or public benefit, things just worked out because I believed they would. An insurance settlement came in or someone would invite me to dinner when I just happened to be low on groceries. This stuff works

    • Hey Alice,

      What Catrice said. He, he.

      You’re assuming that Steve has a lot more resistance than he seems to. Also, perhaps they have some savings and his wife isn’t actually supporting him. But if she is, she may be willing to do so for a time. You can’t know what the dynamic there is.

      All of the scenarios you describe, welfare, her also losing her job, this all assumes that both of them are negatively focused and creating more and more manifestations of resistance. They are spiraling down. But we don’t have to do that. We can spiral up. What if Steve finds a job, not just any job, but an awesome job? What if he starts making so much money, his wife feels safe enough to quit her job and get one that she really loves, too. Or they start a business and become super successful? Why not use some positive what if’s, eh? 🙂

      Huge hugs!

      • Hey Melody,

        I’m sure the actual Steve will be fine!

        Sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with a bunch of Aspies called “humans”… (before you think that’s politically incorrect, I’ve known people with Aspergers and they are well aware that they are often VERY literal people)

        I just use things as examples people! DO-NOT-TAKE-ALICE-LITERALLY. LOL. I write some of my things in the way that Tony guy above me seems to…things to be taken with a grain of salt.

        I used the name Steve as that’s the male name we are using in the story. To be literal I should have said “ONE”
        ok re-phrased: What would ONE do if things were worse and his wife wasn’t doing well etc and he felt guilty about the whole thing?

        I feel the real Steve won’t need this question as he knows exactly what he wants and what to focus on! 🙂
        This would be different if you didn’t really know what type of job you wanted or other things were involved.
        So I was curious about that.

        • Hey Alice,

          Well, in that case my answer would be pretty much the same. Steve would then need to focus on whatever he could so he’d start to feel better. He could release the guilt (but I can’t give you specific answer on how to do that for a generic question. I wrote a blog post about guilt that covers the basics:

          I’m certain that Steve actually did do a form of this the last time he was without work. It’s not instant, but it does work. 🙂


  • Hey hey Melody and all :]
    I’m living with something similar to this but my partner, says he ‘gets’ and ‘believes’ the whole LOA principal but refuses to accept responsibility for anything, saying that he’s not creating any crap, it’s everyone else’s vibrations interfering with his. He keeps saying, ‘I’m not the only one who lives here.’

    And he’s right to a certain extent but, who the heck is he kidding? Talk about resistance!

    • Hey Dawn,

      Then, perhaps, he’s just not ready to deal with his resistance at this point. You can’t force him, as I’m certain you know. But if he’s open to the intellectual explanations of LOA, it is a start. It’s a safe way to dip a toe in. He’ll actually do the work when he’s ready. A huge part of this work is recognizing that you don’t have to let other people’s vibrations interfere with yours… He’ll get there in his own time and in his own way. You just make sure you don’t let his different speed affect you! 😉

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    Nice topic. If I were in your shoes, I would also have a hard time explaining to my partner. What I would probably do is to open the topic little by little until he gets the whole idea and what I am trying to make him understand.

  • This is just crazy! Talk about manifesting. Okay, I guess a little backstory is in order…

    My boyfriend and I have been having serious problems. So bad, that I was about ready to leave him and our 2 kids (of course I would still see them, though). I was going to tell him I was done, and then he started talking and talking, and for some reason, I couldn’t tell him I was leaving. So I stayed, and things have miraculously improved between us. And I do mean like night and day. I have been visualizing the type of man I wanted because, like I said, things weren’t working. I figured I would have to leave him if I wanted something better, but it hurt so bad to think about leaving, but I wanted better. As soon as I was done and about ready to leave, he changed 180 degrees.

    I have told him that I have been working on myself and reading a blog, but never really got into specifics. I didn’t think I was ready to talk about it, and I didn’t think he was ready to hear. I told him that he needed to work on himself for himself because I couldn’t love him enough to make him love himself, and I pretty much left it at that. We started doing a lot better and talking about everything more. And then the other night, I had this crazy dream and I figured that it was my subconsious (sp?) telling me to let go of this one aspect from my childhood. I couldn’t sleep that night so he asked me the next day what the dream was about. I told him about it, but when I was telling him, I was actually pretty happy, which I guess I shouldn’t have been. He asked some more questions, and I just started talking about the basics of LOA. And guess what? He totally got it. I also directed him to this blog, but he says he doesn’t like to read, but that he would try. I actually think that his being so open to this stuff stems from his fear of losing me. I wasn’t too sure if I was happy about that or not, but I figured he is on his own path, and I don’t have to know the HOW of everything. But things have been working out great, and I keep telling him not to worry about the future, and we both just need to focus on today.

    Great post, Melow-D (Sorry, I loved your rappers name)!

    • Oh Crystal,

      I think I may need to start directing people to this comment, lol. This is such a perfect example of how your spouse will actually change right in front of your eyes when you change your vibration. When you made the difficult decision to leave, you actually released something and it shifted you. All that visualizing you did paid off big time. Good for you!!!!! And thanks so much for sharing.

      Oh, BTW. I do have audio and video files available too for the non-readers. lol. At the top of the page, if you hover over Deliberate Receiving in the Navigation bar that runs across the site, you’ll see audio and video options. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Hi Melody,

    Let me put a little twist on this, because this was perfect, of course. 🙂 What if you’re becoming an Intuitive Counselor,with LOA ideals of course,;) and your whole way of life is kinda woo-woo? And what if the person in question is someone with whom you are having a blossoming relationship? What then? “Wait, you can’t come over to my house until I dust all my gemstones and neatly stack my tarot cards, oh and by the way, I am SO glad that we’re a vibrational match because you are really hot.” 😀 Maybe after 4 bottles of wine?

    I can’t wait to see what you’ve got 😉

    • Ok, so I can only give you my personal view, because what you should do would depend entirely on what you want. For me, personally, if I’m not in a relationship and just building one, that would change things from being already married. I don’t want a relationship with someone who just sort of tolerates my spiritual side. This is a HUGE part of my life. I don’t just believe this stuff a little bit, I live it, breathe it and apply it all day long. I don’t have to smoosh that into everyone’s face, but the main person in my life has to be on board.

      I don’t want someone who’s ok that I’m running a race, or even cheering me on from the sidelines. I want someone who will run with me, next to me, someone who inspires me in his own right. And yes, men like that exist. Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, wonderful, spiritual men (trust me.) So again, personally, I’d be honest about what I do and why I do it from the start. I wouldn’t be in his face about it, but part of what I love in a relationship is being able to have these deep, philosophical and spiritual discussions, late into the night. I want this person to “get” me, and since this work is such a huge part of who I am, it’s part of the package. But that’s what I want. And figuring out that I could have it was one of the biggest revelations of my life. I realized I didn’t have to settle. I could have it all. And once I realized that, I was no longer willing to settle for less. 🙂

      Good enough? 🙂

      Huge hugs,

  • Hi Melody,

    Reminds me of my recent question to you. That need to tell/talk to those closest to you, and get their support. Insidious need for approval, always lurking. 🙂

    As I read this post and somehow tied it to the one before, the blinders dropped (again) and I could see so clearly, that it is my vibration manifesting any disregard, disinterest or lack of support from those around me. I’m the one worried about them not getting it, or me, or having someone around me who wants to talk about these things. It has nothing to do with anyone else, just me and what I’m feeling.

    You would think after reading that ‘your vibrations/thoughts/feelings determine all,’ in every single one of your posts, repeat, every single one of your posts, it would sink in! Makes me wonder what lingering belief/doubt is holding me away from a constant understanding instead of these repeated enlightening moments. 🙂

    Just gives me something else to ponder and work on, and have a damned good time doing it. Which almost makes me laugh hysterically since not too long ago I felt like working on this stuff was a burden. But I’ll hold it in so those around me don’t start looking for the white jacket with straps and…oooohhh pretty silver buckles! 😉 Love this!

    Awesome post Melody! Always the best from you.

    • Hey Nay,

      Well, if everyone got it the first time, I’d be out of a job, he, he. We’re really going against the grain here, of what the grand majority of people think. That’s not just a matter of being willing to stand apart from the crowd. There’s a massive amount of energy there, and we are separating ourselves from it and attuning ourselves differently. That’s not an altogether easy thing to do (I often think of what Jesus had to got through, what with the global vibration being a lot lower back then. Respect man. Just saying…) It takes time. And even when we do get it, there are always more layers to get. So, make peace with the ebb and flow of it. You’ll get it, then you’ll forget a bit, then you’ll get it a bit more, then forget a bit again, etc. But each time you get it, you get it more than you did before. And each time you forget, you forget a bit less. And over time, you implement more and more, but quite naturally. Then, don’t forget to look back and see how far you’ve come. That can be very surprising. 🙂

      Happy shiny puppy hugs,


      • Thanks Melody,
        Ramping back the need to be perfectly aligned, RIGHT NOW! Ha Ha. Yes, I’m already able to look back and see how far I’ve come. It is pretty amazing! Just so excited about more, and more…can you say impatient much?

    • “Makes me wonder what lingering belief/doubt is holding me away from a constant understanding instead of these repeated enlightening moments. 🙂 ”

      That’s a conversation I would definitely like to witness.

      By the way, why don’t you concentrate on constant understanding?
      What you experience, is it something that just happens by accident or is it what you allow to experience?
      And if you allow yourself to have the experience of mentally focusing on an experience, does that mean that focusing is having resistance to all other experiences?
      Can you read and understand what I have written without moving your tongue (even with the mouth closed)

      • Tony!!!

        You ask too much, because that conversation will have to be very private, so I can laugh at myself, all by myself. He He. And I did tell myself that I would focus and just decide to maintain a constant understanding…because I do enjoy allowing enlightenment, even the repeat performances I whine about.

        As for focusing on an experience causing resistance to all other experiences…why do you want to go and make things more difficult? 😀 I’ll just stick with focusing on an experience I want because I know it will bring me more experiences that are just as good if not better. Ha

        And yes, I do always move my tongue while reading for understanding. But that’s just because I’m an awesome multitasker. You’re too fun!

        • Come on Nay! It’s just a new game. It’s not difficult!

          You are allowing all the time. All of us. And we are control freaks. If someone says he isn’t we should remind him the times he wants to go to the toilet to express himself. When we feel the need to go to the toilet, do we drop our cargo right away, or do we have the discipline to keep our bellies loaded until we arrive at the toilet?
          Babies do not have that discipline and no one expects a baby to wake up at the right time or cry at the right time.

          What I’m asking you is to see your life as a movie, press the pause button and then rewind. You will see what you allowed and what you didn’t allow.
          This will help you to understand what you allow. Because focusing without allowing will give you a headache. E.g If I concentrate on finding a wallet full of money on the pavement, I will be sad because I am programmed to suppose that this wallet has an owner and then return the wallet to his owner. The sad thing is that if I find a hungry puppy alone on the pavement I’ll be more willing to believe that I should not return it to his owner (because if he was a good owner, the puppy would not be hungry and alone on the pavement-the same rules didn’t apply with money). Programme: money is good for others, the obligation to take care of their mess is mine.

          If your programme was to experience enlightment all the time, we would not be here. Your subconscious mind still thinks of enlightment as something bad, but you feel that it is good for you.

          • Ooohh!

            Nice Tony! That flip in perception is very profound. It all depends on our views of the ‘things’ involved. Homeless dog on the ground; trash on the ground; money on the ground. Same situation for each thing, different view on it’s importance and/or what we can or should do with it. And that idea of other peoples messes being my repsonsibility…that one kinda struck a chord. 😀

            Perception, perception, perception! And no, I don’t see enlightenment as bad subconsciously; more like some ‘situations’ and my abilities around them, are less clear or acceptable to my subconscious, so enlightenment isn’t as easy to me in those ‘situations.’ But I do understand that my thinking this way is the only thing that stops me. My perception of my abilities/what I can or cannot do easily, are the only ‘true’ obstacles.

            So the key is, and always has been, telling your subconscious what to believe, and making that knowledge so strong that any other belief that is counter to this no longer holds. So my subconscious is a computer program running in the background, with specific commands to follow. And it doesn’t care what those commands are, because we have, somewhere in our lives, accepted those programs as the right/true ones, and so follow the commands with blind faith. So to change me, I have to change the programs/no longer accept those programs as valid.

            Where I am currently paused in my programming/movie, is where I can see that I am not fully accepting/allowing myself to be all powerful in my life. I still have a belief(s) that I cannot allow everything in my life, because I don’t control everything in my life.

            I understanding the concept, but my beliefs have not caught up. I really can’t put a specific fear or cause here. I just know I understand the concept, but haven’t mastered it. Like a newborn can’t control their bowel movements at first. As they grow, they begin to understand that it’s possible to do, but it takes a little time to figure that control!

            So here I am, still fighting the rules of the new game, because I still want it to be my way, or at least the way I am comfortable with, even if it’s not the right way. 🙂 Am I making sense here? And if yes, then you know that I just have the one simple step to take, but am still whimping out, because of my own irrational fears, so am not allowing, YET.

            My allowing is improving all the time, but it’s coming in small steps. But those small steps have made huge strides in how I feel most of the time! I am happy in this new game, but I’m still figuring learning to accept the rules.

            So, I’m now looking at things with a whole new perception of what program I can decide on which will be more powerful than the one I’ve been running.

            Big Thanks Tony!

          • “And it doesn’t care what those commands are, because we have, somewhere in our lives, accepted those programs as the right/true ones”

            Exactly. You accept it is true or false according to the stereotype you have as a guideline. That stereotype is your ego (the identity you want for yourself). The ego is the pain we are supposed to refer to. The volume of the pain depends on how narrow our mentality is. Or how narrow is the mentality of the person who controls us.

            When we find a wallet what’s the next logical move? If we keep it, what are we? Who will judge us? If you live among thieves, will they call you an idiot if you give the wallet to his owner? Why? Because they are thieves. That’s what they are supposed to do. But they are human beings too. We can pretend to be the evil thieves, we can pretend to be Robin Hood too. But we will carry the label of the thief as long as we accept that taking something which is not ours is bad. What makes us to believe that this is true? Do not do to others what you do not want others do to you. So, we are afraid that someone will steal something from us and we don’t steal to make sure that they will not do the same to us. We are acting in a state of fear. Not because we accept that keeping something we have not bought or made with our own hands is bad but because someone else has the power to do that to us. Who? Someone we don’t know and we don’t want to know. Someone who will not love us.

            In my effort to grow, I ‘m trying to leave religion out of my way. Not because I don’t accept kindness and love as something valuable. But because I’m fed up trying to do things to persuade that I am a good person.
            I don’t want a God who blackmails me.

            Seriously, I believe that scripts have nothing to do with God. Especially when we don’t know how to read them. If evil truly exists, then it has to appear as a source of love to convince those who love.
            The only sin I am aware of right now, is the sin not to defy the lies.

          • Yes, that makes so much sense!

            It’s all about what we think and feel in so many situations. We have so many ‘shoulds’ and guilty feelings that rise to the surface in ways that we don’t even recognize! The need to always be good can be insidious in its own way.

            But who decides what is good? When we make a choice, what does that say about us, and according to who? I guess the real question is, when we make a choice, did that choice come from a true understanding of what we want, or from a belief we have that could have come from anywhere and anyone? That is a very new and profound thought, and one that I will be looking into a lot harder. 😯

            Melody’s post on stealing went into this quite a bit. In essence, she pointed out that nobody else gets to decide what is right or wrong in my world, and nobody else can judge my choices either. And it’s not about disregarding moral ‘good,’ but figuring out that I can choose to make any choice, despite what anyone else thinks. When I let others opinions or beliefs decide for me, I am no longer thinking for myself, or truly doing what is best for me. I am doing what I ‘think’ is right, according to something outside of myself.

            Wow, that was another profound insight! Like you said, we make stereotypes of others and ourselves. We stereotype the choices we have, therefore limiting those choices. We stop thinking for ourselves, because we are worried about what the ‘right/stereotyped’ choice is, which defeats our purpose of growth.

            And religion can’t be a part of this for me. But The One, Source, Universal Intelligence or Love, (all the same to me, and what many would call God) is the key to this for me. Funny how that works. For me religion signifies judgment, while these only signify perfection in the making. Again, beliefs/stereotypes say it all. 😉

            Thank you so much Tony! You make me think outside my norm, which is giving me some amazing things to think about! 8)

  • This is perfect, Great post Melody, Im in this exact same situation. I had been worrying about my husbands feelings regarding me not looking for a job, me quitting my job, and all my meditating and visualizing was driving him nuts. We were constantly arguing, I was thinking about separation, we started counseling, it was bad. But I have since decided not to worry about it, and since I made that decision, he has stopped worrying, bills are fine, kids are good, and Im happy as ever. He even started asking me about meditating.

    • Catrice, that is so cool. Your partner had low resistance to change. You must have been a vibrational match on many levels. Win, win! Fab!


      • Alice, right now my husband is paying the bills, When I was speaking in my previous post about quitting my job before I was married, I just trusted it would be okay, and bills were paid by random things, like an insurance settlement I previously thought I wasnt entitled to, or people re-paying debts they owed…etc.. this time around ( I tend to quit my jobs alot)– guess thats something I need to work on–but anyway this time around I purposely waited until I knew my husband made enough to sustain us, but somehow he didnt think it was enough and it caused us a great deal of problems. I have seen that my attitude dictates how much money we have at the end of the week, sometimes we run out. Im a work in progress, but Im on my way, and since Im doing this stuff deliberately now it is working out soo much better

        • Hi there,

          Thank you so much for your reply.

          I really love the amount of trust you have, and don’t have that much trust myself. This stems from a very personal experience.
          I’ll get rid of it someday, I can’t force it now. 🙂

          Someone close is in debt and trying to close that black hole, and it just seems to suck all the money into it.
          They can’t use an auto-repayment as things keep popping up and it just gets bigger.
          They helped me with my medical expenses and other things, so it yanks on my heart as they are so generous.

          I don’t put my focus on that and believe there is a solution at the same time as another vibration which cannot help but feel their stress and fears.
          It’s hard to detatch from the situation.

          Again I am really impressed!

          I wish you so much success and hope this keeps getting better for you. Next week will be very good for you.

          Thanks for sharing.

  • Hi Melody

    As we say in Australia ” bloody fantastic picture , spot on mate” try explaining the LOA to someone who is still asleep and you’d be better off explaining it to the dog , cat , a wall anyone or thing that is awake.

    I have found one way that works (sometimes but not all the times) and that is to leave a book , info sheet or something similiar laying around in plain site , if there curiosity strikes them they will ask what’s this , then I just say it’s something I’m reading about and it’s not anything that you’d be interested in – telling someone they wouldn’t be interested in something is a sure fire way to arouse their interest , 9 times out of 10 they’ll say something like why wouldn’t I be interested in it , then I just briefly mention a little bit about it but not to much – I work on a persons curiosity , as people we are always curious about things and doubly so if we are told that we wouldn’t be , I guess in a way it’s reverse physcology.

    If after telling them they wouldn’t be interested they say okay and put it down then you know that it’s no use trying to brow beat it into them , just leave it alone and let them decide if they change their mind down the track.

    I once went out with a lady (who wasn’t awake and worried about every little thing) who I tried to explain it to the hard way and kept getting hit with “you don’t know what you’re talking about” in the end she called me a creep and we haven’t seen each other since.

    To save your own sanity let them come to you don’t chase them , you’ll find by being a bit illusive about the subject will raise more curiosity – just go with the flow.

    Just my opinion.

    • Hello John,

      I felt the same way about the picture, this was the best I’ve seen on the blog. 🙂 Perfect.
      This technique is clever (and amusing) but can backfire in two ways:

      a) The person is very stubborn:
      They are aware you are trying to play games with them and say “OK” and agree, when you tell them they wouldn’t be interested.
      You will be the one frustrated as they have zero interest in the manipulation/reverse psychology and this is embarassing.
      The more you push, the more they’ll pull back.

      b) They are very sensitive:
      They are hurt by your assumption that “they wouldn’t be interested” and take it personally.
      They may think “do they think I’m too dumb to understand?” or “they don’t think we have anything in common?”
      They will be so hurt that they won’t look and avoid you for a little while.

      But in general this would work, just pick your person well.

      • Hi Alice , I hope you are well.

        Thanks for your input , it was very much appreciated.

        From your reply I got the impression that you thought what I said was to apply to anyone who happened to comes across the info lying around when in fact I was talking about applying it to my partner as it states in the blog title , I wouldn’t try the same technique on just anyone because as you said it can backfire if I don’t understand the person , their likes/dislikes , there make up etc.

        In the case I mentioned with the lady I was involved with it had nothing to do with her , it was totally my fault as I had only just met her and didn’t give us time to atune to each other , she was a loverly lady but unfortunately in my haste to inform her I blew it big time – lesson learnt move on.

        Firstly when I said tell them they wouldn’t be interested it was coming from the point of view of knowing the person intimately , if they are your partner I would assume that most people would have a fair understanding of their likes and dislikes and know what they would be interested in or not interested in and if your genuinely care for them and know that it is not something they would generally be interested in then telling them they wouldn’t be interested is not playing a mind game with them it’s just your honest opinion based on what you know about them and the same would apply to a sensitive person – I for one am not into playing mind games with people , to me it is a total waste of my time and energy and of theirs , I tell people the facts and truth as I know it within the realms of “my” belief system , whether they choose to believe it or not it solely based on their belief system over which I have no control and will never want to. We are here (on this planet) to help each other discover our true indentity , we are not here to tell them what their indentity is but to help them discover it for themselves.

        Even though we personally know what understanding the LOA can do for us and what it would do for them and how it would make your relationship as a couple turn from what it is to a state of almost total bliss (I say almost because nothing is always perfect as much as we’d want it to be , a perfect relationship takes understanding from both partners) , it is up to them to discover it for themselves , it is not our job(for want of a better word) to push it on them – think back to when you discovered about the LOA , did someone tell you about it or did you discover it through the curiosity of your spirit directing you to it.

        Take care ……. John

        • Hi John,

          Thanks for your reply! I come from Australia too. 🙂 I like your sense of humour.

          You’re right, I didn’t see in the first part of your comment anything about your partner, so I did think you meant a person in general.
          I know the tittle of the post says “partner” but I think the info could be applied to other people. I get a bit off topic in comments and made the false inference that others do too.

          “telling someone they wouldn’t be interested in something is a sure fire way to arouse their interest , 9 times out of 10 they’ll say something like why wouldn’t I be interested in it , then I just briefly mention a little bit about it but not to much – I work on a persons curiosity , as people we are always curious about things and doubly so if we are told that we wouldn’t be , I guess in a way it’s reverse pyschology”

          That’s really the part I was thinking about, that they would be aware you are trying to make them curious and using reverse psychology.

          I’m sorry I got that wrong, the last thing I’d want to do is hurt someones’ feelings!
          Just some ideas that popped up when reading your comment, things I thought would be good to use caution with.

    • Thanks so much John. I like your subtle approach. But really, as you say in your comment to Alice below, people will come to this info when they’re ready (or something else that works for them). So, when the time is right, you’ll be inspired to leave the book out, or they’ll see it on the shelf. We don’t have to orchestrate anything. That’s what LOA is for. 🙂

      And you’re so right – let them come to you. The more I back off, the easier my life has become. I don’t bring it up unless asked and it’s opened me up to a whole host of people I couldn’t otherwise connect with. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • Too much work. If we have to allign with the best version of our partner, that means that a worse version not only exists but it’s his/her natural state of being and we have to accept it and defend ourselves. It’s a politically correct excuse to struggle.

    “How do I tell my spouse that I’m doing nothing to ‘look’ for a job?”
    Rule number one of your new life: Never mix women and money.
    Just pay your share of the bills.

    If you think your wife won’t accept this, you have an image of depressed women who are conditioned to be afraid of the future and expect security from their husband. That’s a stereotype which can change. It’s not your job to obey blindly to stereotypes.

    You want to break the rule? Accept the consequencies..
    Clean the car. Get a shower. Cut your nails and shave. Dress yourself in cool fabrics you feel comfortable. Take care of yourself and engage in the most pleasurable activities you want to do with her. After that, smile and say: “My past life is over, my new life begins. Do you want to be a part of it?”

    If you still love her, she will be glad you are trying to change and do these things with her and not with some younger women. After all, she has stayed with you when you struggled, she should be fascinated with your new attitude. Unless you doubt that your life has trully changed.

    If she insists on looking only at obligations, consider the option of finding another woman. What’s the point in having money if you can’t look great and have fun with your wife?

    If you can’t make her feel like a woman you can’t convince her to change her attitude on anything. If she looks like a double-fridge , stick to plan B and C: leave her and find another one / stay with her and find another one. If she is not pretty, consider to pay her a plastic surgery when you attract more money. Some would say that you should accept people as they are, but if you don’t like them as they are, make your rules or have the decency to leave. Don’t hurt yourself to feel righteous. It’s your life.

    If you are afraid of your wife’s reaction, you probably pitty yourself subconsciously.
    If you focus on how you won’t hurt her feelings, you are probably hurting her feelings right now by doing nothing

    So do something, but don’t be desperate supposing she might be desperate. If you are both a little desperate right now, excercise according to your current level of fitness and learn to breathe properly and relax your mind. Having good sex before revealing the secret is always an option. She is your wife. She has to understand. Otherwise, she is not for you.

    The only thing you must NOT do under all circumstances is telling her lies (that also includes avoiding to tell the whole truth). If you do that, you will not be a husband but a spy in the house.

    • I’m sorry for butting in but on one hand u advocate honesty and on the other u advocate cheating on your woman with another lady?
      That’s a bit batty.

      • you’re welcome,
        In some cases people don’t break up their relationship for financial reasons.
        He can cheat and be honest at the same time. I don’t say it’s ethical but it’s her job to decide if she stays with him.

        Some people don’t want sex anymore in their marriage. Or anything that sustains life. Why should he become a monk?

        We should consider every option available. The key is to realize what he trully desires. If he lies, he actually shows that he is afraid of losing something. He is afraid to express his feelings and needs. There’s nothing worst than fear and need. If he hides, he shows that someone else has power over him and if that’s true, he should own his life first before considering anything else 🙂

    • “If she insists on looking only at obligations, consider the option of finding another woman.”
      So then he walks away from the woman paying his bills, buying his food and keeping the roof over his head, while he manifests stuff.

      Great one.

      So when he walks away from the person paying his way, what will he do then? Go on welfare payments as he continues to line up his energy with the perfect job?

      Foolish! Stick by the lady that bothers to put up with all this meditating…he is lucky!

      • 🙂 please, don’t tell his wife! Give love a chance!

        I totally agree with your point. Not only he should stick by the lady but he should sell her kidneys to buy a new car after using a good anesthetic. That’s the road of least resistance. And he is doing that for her. The priest says ” in sickness and in health”.

        Caution: Do not do this at home (alone). This stuff is for professional LOA manifestors.
        The writer has no legal obligation or liability for injuries

        • Hilarious!

          We need more freaks on this blog. To many puppies. Not enough one-eyed lizards. With top-hats.

          I think as a guy it sounds better coming from you. 🙂

    • Ooh my, I think you hit some nerves here Tony and causes some revelations, he, he.

      You certainly have an interesting take on relationships. My approach, as usual, is a tad softer. Of course different versions of your spouse exist. Different versions of everyone exist. And you can line up with any one of them. Other states are not their natural state of being and this isn’t about changing anyone, it’s about lining up with what you want.

      If you’re no longer physically attracted to your spouse, I suppose getting them some plastic surgery would be an option, but not one I’d actively advise. It’s a bit on the “You should change so I can feel better” side. Ok, actually it’s way on that side. But you’re totally right – it’s her choice to stay or go. You have to decide who you want to be in a relationship, what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not willing to compromise. So many people don’t do that. They give up so much of themselves and then become increasingly unhappy and then blame their partner for it. But they were the ones who gave themselves up.

      Although, it has to be said that we love someone deeply, we may not be so willing to just give them up. That’s when it’s beneficial to adjust the details of our vibration and line up with a slightly different version of them, but still keep them around, so to speak. 🙂

      And I totally agree that lying to our partners or ourselves is the worst thing that we can do. So much of the work I do with clients is getting them to admit how they actually feel for the first time, sometimes ever.

      Huge hugs and thanks for the laughs,


      • I see your point. Different versions of everyone do exist and I totally agree with you. But we can’t lose face. Imagine the Undertaker (the WWE wrestler-6 ft 10 in (2.08 m) 299 lb (136 kg)) with all the make-up advertising diapers for babies. The baby will be fine and I will use the diaper.

        Some people have chosen their roles in society. Can’t we just do our job without making fun of them? I don’t say that our intention was to make them look funny but some people lose their temper when they find out what’s going on behind their backs.

  • Great write:up, Melody.

    You’re spot on that it’s their fear they’re registering and an LOA sermon ain’t gonna work. I’ve noticed the reflections in my spouse according to how *I* feel, too, and when I’m feeling confident of the outcome so is she and vice versa. It’s a great feedback system!

    On a tactical level it’s becoming more and more mainstream in the muggle world to picture the office you’re working in, the people, the surroundings and imagining yourself behind that tupelo desk, so that helps explain why you’re spending so much time dreaming!

    • Ahahaha Peter, the Muggle world. I love it! It can sometimes feel like that, can’t it. Especially when your life starts to line up like magic…

      We have to remember that even when we’re in a relationship, our reality is a direct reflection of our own vibration. So, you get to have the experience you want, as long as you are there vibrationally. And spouses will show you really fast if you’re not. Oh, and kids, too! 🙂

      Huge hugs!

  • I love the picture Melody! Has to be my favourite so far.. And the baby penguin is sooo cute <3

    Yeah, explaining LOA is something I struggle with as well. Most people in my life probably don't know I'm into it (although they do know I'm a huge hippie, so they probably wouldn't be too surprised). When I do find myself in a position where a sceptical person is asking me to explain, I just tell them that I believe that your state of mind affects your life. Like sometimes you'll have a day when you wake up in a bad mood, and things just start going wrong. Most people can identify with this, and I just tell them that LOA is fundamentally based on this idea. It's a bit simplified, but if it keeps them happy and me seeming sane…

    I've introduced friends to it, but I generally won't go into detail unless they are interested.

    • Thanks Karin. Sometimes we have to poke fun at ourselves.. 😛

      I take the vague approach too. When people ask me what I do, I say I’m a writer and coach. If they ask more, I mention the Law of Attraction. Many don’t take it further. They have preconceived ideas about what that means. But if they keep asking, I’ll go as deep as they want me to. LOA brings me some awesome conversations and exchanges, but they’re not always about LOA. Sometimes, I have amazing conversations with people who aren’t open at all to this stuff. But they have other gifts to give. I’d miss out on those if I rammed this subject down everyone’s throat…

      And I often use the psychological mindset approach. I use my intuition to let me know which words to use, so they can hear me. If they manifest some clarity through me, it always comes out perfectly for them. And I’m happy to adjust. 🙂

      Huge hugs!!

  • Hey Melody,

    i have indeed tried this a bit and it does work with people. You are right, you myst be in a good place yourself and be calm and cool so as nit to set them off any further and mess up the vibe.

    This leads to my general question i meant to ask in the last post. You write “if you’ve lined up your vibration correctly”. Is that what alignment is? The calmness in knowing things will come to you and the confidence and faith that comes along with that? It is the faith that things will work out eventually in your favor if you are cool and positive about it because you have set your focus and intentions there and feeling good and excited (but not too excited) about it? Too much excitement can actually ruin things and make the people you managed to attract turn away from you.

      • No one has cheered for you yet mopeychild:

        Todays’ cheer: Horray for you! Do that jiggly green monster arm waving dance! You have one fo the cutest avatars!
        What’s with my red monster? Is he just assigned to people that look funny? 🙂

    • Awesome Kat!

      I have wondered this too, but, I’ve never thought that I could be too excited about something…unless it’s excitement because I feel like it’s just too good to be true. I think that may ruin it. 😉

      I do try to figure out what it truly feels like to know, really know, and be confident that things I want are coming my way. I’ve tried to imagine how I feel when I know, without doubt, something will happen; like the sun coming up tomorrow or something else that I always expect/know will happen in life, because it always does.

      I haven’t quite gotten it, but I work at it. You wouldn’t think so, but it’s really odd trying to get this feeling down, because it just, is. There’s no wondering or worrying, or even thinking about it too much. I figure if I can understand how it feels, I can recreate it. Hmmm. I wonder if I’m over intellectualizing/analyzing this…He He! 😀

      Fun stuff!!!

      • Hey you guys!

        Yeah, as I understand it, alignment is living from the point where everything is already manifested. The point from which you are living your dreams and act and do as such. It is relishing what is coming and living as if you have it and being excited about stuff, yet calm, cool and collected enough like yeah, whatever. No worries, no despair, just happy shiny puppyiness.

        Words can’t do it justice, at least my words can’t, but I’m hoping Melody can explain this further and add to it and give an example.

        • Yeah!
          That reality of, ‘Hey there’s my awesome shirt!’ is exactly the same as, ‘Hey there’s my awesome millions of dollars!’ 😀 Both are just a given and you feel great about them.

          • Hahaha! Pretty much, yes!

            I think of Elle Woods in Legally Blond. The movie started with “it’s a perfect day” song and she was so happy and shiny, spreading rainbows wherever she went.

      • Nay,
        this totally caught my attention: “I’ve tried to imagine how I feel when I know, without doubt, something will happen; like the sun coming up tomorrow or something else that I always expect/know will happen in life, because it always does.”
        I think you are right about this — I’d not really thought about it before, but yeah, I think you are right. Expect that something we want will happen just like we expect the sun to come up. No fanfare. Just acceptance. 🙂 and gratitude, of course!

        Hmm…but maybe I should be more excited and grateful about the sun coming up? LOL! I wonder what changes that might bring into my life, if I welcomed the sun up every day and gave thanks for this miracle every day. Which isn’t to say I’m surprised, bc I’m not surprised when the sun rises. But, how different would my life be if I noticed and appreciated and sang songs of joy to the rising of the sun? Something that I expect to happen every day, I have complete faith beyond faith that it will, so it’s not as if I’m hoping to attract more sunrises, but just celebrating the sunrise because it is so freaking awesome. 🙂 I wonder how my life would change if I were to celebrate everything that I currently take for granted? Would it be easier for me to accept other things, like… millions of dollars?? I mean, instead of trying to be calm and silently take for granted that everything I want is on the way, how about if I became way more excited and joyful/grateful for what is already here?

        I’m going to try it! I love experiments like this! (hmm…now, how to quantify and measure results…oh well, I’ll figure something out. haha!)

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts, which inspired me to have my new thoughts! 🙂

        • As a way of conditioning myself to the idea that miracles are every day, I think that being excited/joyful/grateful about every day miracles might be easier than trying to imagine myself feeling the way I would feel if i had that “thing”, that miracle, that million dollars.
          If I celebrate miracles every day, then truly I know what it feels like to celebrate and enjoy something that I already have, right? I mean, I’m feeling that way every day. 🙂 Consciously choosing to celebrate and experience gratitude for stuff I already have (meaning, the stuff I can already see!), that gets my mind accustomed to feeling that way so that every miracle is believable. Besides, should I feel less joyful and less grateful about the sun rising just because it happens every day?

          hmm… my son once told me that every time he finds money on the street he says, “Awesome! thanks!”, and that he avoids saying “i can’t believe it!” bc he wants his mind to believe that finding money is something that happens all the time, not something that happens so rarely it is almost unbelievable.

          • KimS,
            Sounds like you have trained your son well!!! So amazing. 😀

            Yes, I now know that being grateful all the time is just as important as feeling doubt that everything you want is coming to you. Like Melody says, what you feel, in general, is THE most important thing. So if I can find ways to feel grateful most of the time, my vibration has to go up.

            Feeling good in general has been my specific goal for these last few months, and it’s worked!!! I feel 100% better. Now I’m working towards other beliefs that I have realized are holding me back. And so excited about how my life will change as I do change how I feel, about many things! 🙂

          • Nay, it’s the other way around — my son sets the example for me. He’s a natural at this stuff! 🙂

    • Hey Kat,

      Alignment is when you’re basically in a place where you feel about the thing you want the way you would if you already had it. It feels almost normal to you. Because if you already had it, you’d appreciate it, you’d be grateful for it, but you’d also be up to speed with it, as Abe likes to say. It doesn’t feel life changing anymore. It feels doable, normal, part of your life. When you get overexcited about something, there’s a kind of mania about it, a pressure. There’s a current of desperation running underneath. Think about it – think about something that you love that is already part of your life. How does that feel? That’s the feeling you want to achieve on the things you still want to manifest. Vibrationally, they can already be part of your life.

      I think I may do a blog post on this alone and give some examples. It seems to come up a lot. 🙂

      Huge hugs!

      • Hey Melody, Nay and Kim,

        This stuff is so great and I really appreciate all your input and examples, especially Kim’s example of her son’s appreciation! That is so ultra cool!

        So, we must set forth the positive intention and continue to ride that. That is what I have been doing. I realized there have been abundant opportunities along the way that I had been resistant to take.

        And this is my next inquiry. One thing I am still not so clear on is resistance. Is resistance the opposite of setting forth good intention, lack of appreciation and disbelief in the universe? That is how I understand it. This is key, because resistance should be eliminated in order to lead an abundant life and stay young.

        • I wonder if there can be “tears of alignment”, similar to tears of joy. Like, after going through a lot, life leads you back to something you planned to do once. This time, though, instead of crying about not making it, it is too hard, I won’t survive, etc, etc., tears well up the eyes because you realize it truly is for you.

          I cry in church all the time, and it is the same feeling. This connection to elation, that is as best as I can describe it.

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