Awesome Seka asks, “Lately I’ve been mindful of letting go and allowing, that part seems to be what’s held me up in the past. I get so hung up on a particular outcome and then so hugely disappointed if it doesn’t work out the way I thought it would.  Can you explain the importance of letting go? Rationally, it seems like attachment to an outcome isn’t a bad thing… it’s how you get focused on what you want. So why is it that letting go is the most important, and most challenging, step? I’ve yet to hear a satisfying answer to this one.”

I receive similar questions to this one almost every day. People are confused as to what exactly to let go of, why it’s even important, and most of all, how the hell they’re supposed to let go of something they really, really want.

Today, I’m going to clear up the subject of letting go or surrendering, once and for all.

Big Old False Belief: You have to let go of your desire

Excuse me just for a moment. “Oh hell no!” I just had to get that out of my system. When we Law of Attraction teachers talk about letting go, we don’t mean that you should let go of what you want. That, my dearies, is impossible. When something is really important to you, you can’t just stop thinking about it, which is what a lot of people mistakenly try to do. And then, they get all frustrated and, depending on where their self esteem is at, either declare that LOA doesn’t work, or that they’re too stupid to make it work. Neither one is true. So, let me state this once and for all: Letting go does NOT mean that you have to stop thinking about the thing you want.

So, ok, what DOES it mean, then? Let me answer that by giving you an example.

Meet Bob

Bob just got laid off and wants to manifest a new job. He’s been studying the Law of Attraction for a while now and has decided that he doesn’t want this next job to be just like the miserable one he just left. He wants to attract a better job. He wants to be happier. And, he wants to earn more money. On the one hand, he has his strong desire to feel good in his job, on the other, he has his doubts and fears that he may not find a job and end up not being able to take care of his family. But, Bob has decided to try and put his fears aside and do this the deliberate LOA way, if at all possible.

So, Bob makes a list of what he wants in a job. He looks at what he hated about his last place of work, like his micromanaging boss, the winey, needy co-workers, the insultingly low salary, the expectations of unpaid overtime, the atmosphere of constant complaining, the lack of any kind of challenge, etc. He then uses this list to determine what he DOES want in his new job – an intelligent, competent, appreciative boss who’s not only cool but knows how to delegate properly and communicate what he actually wants; co-workers who love their jobs, are creative, switched on, and cooperative instead of insecure and competitive; a salary that represents what Bob is actually capable of bringing to the table; an environment that continuously challenges him and allows him to flex his problem solving skills and use his considerable talents; a fair and balanced work schedule, allowing him to actually spend time with his family; and so on.

Bob now sits with his list and allows it to inform his visualization. He can actually “see” himself in that kind of environment, can imagine what it would feel like to go to work in a place like that. Where his old office was dark, with no natural lighting, this new office looks light to him. He can see windows and plants, and even an outside area where coworkers congregate to have coffee and talk over projects or problems. He feels how relaxed everyone is, not tense and stressed, but inspired and passionate. They’re doing good work and they know it. Bob sees himself proudly presenting a solution he’s devised to a group of people, who then all congratulate him and pat him on the back. He sees his boss shaking his hand, and offering him a promotion. He sees himself driving home at the end of the day, early enough to have dinner with his family, help his kids with their homework and tuck them into bed. He even has energy left over to make love to his wife. He feels confident and alive for the first time in a long time. And the better Bob feels about this vision of his, the more aligned he is, energetically, with what he wants.

The mind: One Arrogant Bastard

Notice that Bob hasn’t addressed how he will find this wonderful job, what exactly he’ll be doing there, how much he’ll get paid, where the office is, or any other details. He’s focusing on the core of what he wants, on all the parameters he wants to create and how they’ll feel. That is the WHAT of his manifestation, which is Bob’s job.

The HOW of his manifestation is not Bob’s job. Bob is not qualified to go out into the Universe and scour it to find all the cooperative pieces that match up with his creation and bring them back to him. The Law of Attraction’s got Bob beat in that department, hands down. So, if Bob decides that he has to get involved with the HOW and starts to meddle in that, he’s actually interfering with his own manifestation.

For example, let’s say that one of Bob’s desires is to find a job that has an easy commute. He’s tired of driving 2 hours each way and wants something close to home. Fair enough. But now, his mind starts to get involved and points out that Bob doesn’t know of any companies in his field that are even remotely near his home. And this is where the problems start.

You see, our minds kind of assume that they know everything there is to know about everything. So, conversely, if our minds don’t know about something, then it must not exist. If our minds don’t know how something can happen, then it must not be possible. Our minds are arrogant little bastards, really, and if you let them, they will screw with you. Yes, I’m going to just come out and say it: the untrained mind can be a right asshole. And by trained, I don’t mean educated. I mean, trained to focus in the way you want it to. A trained mind can be your very best friend.

So, Bob’s mind begins to convince him, by going on and on and on about it, that the kind of job he wants just doesn’t exist, because it has no direct knowledge of such a job. And, if Bob isn’t deliberate about his thoughts, or lets his guard down for a bit, he may well start to believe the arrogant, lying bastard. That’s when Bob begins to focus on how it’s NOT possible for him to get what he wants, promptly and effectively messing up his vibration. Now, he’s attracting more and more doubt instead of what he wants. People who will support that doubt will come into his experience. He’ll meet other unemployed folks who will tell him that there are no jobs. He’ll read reports in the paper about the horrible economy. His wife will begin to nag him about his unemployment. Down and down and down Bob goes, into the spiral of misery.

The mind is not your boss. It’s your servant

However, Bob doesn’t have to believe the mind. He can recognize that his own perspective is severely limited and that he has at his disposal, a powerful mechanism called the Law of Attraction, which has a MUCH larger perspective than he ever could (in short, it knows a HELL of a lot more than his mind does). Bob can realize that finding that job isn’t his work at all. His work is to place the order. LOA will then fill that order by going and finding all the parts, assembling them perfectly and delivering them right to Bob’s doorstep.

So, what Bob must let go of is:

  • The need to figure out HOW his manifestation will come about
  • Listening to his arrogant mind when it tries to tell him what he wants isn’t possible because it has no direct knowledge of how it can be done
  • His doubts
  • His fears
  • Any thoughts that contradict what he wants
  • Listening to anyone that mirrors those doubts and fears by telling him he can’t have what he wants

It’s on its way

Another way to describe the process of letting go or surrendering is to simply get into the mindset that “It’s on its way”. If you can adopt the idea that you will get what you want, that the Universe will deliver your manifestation even if you don’t know how it will happen, you are aligning with what you want.

“Letting go” is simply the process of getting out of the way of your manifestation. When you stop the process of contradicting the thoughts that will get you what you want, the thoughts that feel good, you are letting go.

Anytime you ask “Where is it?” or “Why isn’t it here yet?” or “How can it possibly happen?”, you are messing up the energy of your manifestation. Every time you get frustrated or sad or doubtful or impatient, you’re messing it up. Whenever you think about what you want in a way that causes you to feel any kind of negative emotion, you’re messing it up.

When you know that it’s on its way, you’re aligning with it.

When you believe that it will come, you’re aligning with it.

When you trust that the Universe has the power to bring it to you, and knows a hell of a lot more of what’s available to you than your (comparatively) little puny mind does, you’re aligning with what you want.

When you feel good, you’re aligning with it.

When you’re happy, you’re aligning with it.

When you let go of fear, of doubt, of the need to make it happen, of the need to know how it will happen, then, my happy shiny puppies, you and your manifestation are about to meet.

Bottom Line

Don’t try to let go of your desire. Let go of anything that contradicts it. Your power is not in your ability to make things happen by forcing them to comply with your will. Your power, all of it, all of the incredible, vast, ginormous amount of it, is in your ability to focus in such a way that you align with what you want, causing the forces of the Universe to shift and morph and bend to your desire, even if what you want has to be newly created just for you. And if you suddenly had the urge to be all like “Mwahahahahaha”, well, then I’d say that you’ve got it.

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  • Hi Melody πŸ™‚ how can we let go of the thinking “need to make it happen” when in western society we are all about motivation , setting goal , get your ass to work because if you don’t doing it nothing it will happen on it own??? By the way i know that things can happen on it owns , several things in my life happened with little effort i am just asking how can i get rid completely of this pattern and feel safe and confident in my relationship with the universe. πŸ™‚β€οΈ

    • Hey Elle,
      Great question! The first step is awareness. Become aware that you have a belief that makes you go down the “trying to make it happen” route. You’ve already done, that of course, but it’s still the first step. Second, don’t beat up on yourself for doing this. This belief system is incredibly supported by society, so it’s actually not that easy to step out of. You’re not doing it wrong when you fall into old patterns, you’re just still in the process of shifting. Third, look at what it is you’re afraid of. When you try to make it happen, it’s because you don’t fully trust that this thing will come about. Look at that fear (what if it doesn’t happen)? If you don’t do this, you may not be able to simply choose to trust. That’s really hard and often even brutal. It’s much easier when you release the fear, first. There are many ways to release the fear, but I like to start at identifying the fear first. Then FEEL that emotion. That’s what we’re afraid of – feeling those emotions. That’s why we try to mitigate the situation by forcing change (yet never really changing anything. It’s an illusion). When we face that fear, despair, disappointment or whatever, there’s nothing to be afraid of. We’ve already faced it and felt it. THEN, it’s much easier to choose to trust (ask “What if it DOES happen?”). It’s an incremental process which gets easier and easier as we get better at it, but it does require some inner work.

      Does that help? I feel like I’m just giving you validation here for something you already know. πŸ™‚


  • Melody,

    Any advice about what to do when you’re resistant to your own resistance? For example, last year I got myself into a really good feeling place about manifesting a great relationship after a bunch of terrible heartbreaks. I wasn’t even aware of the “LOA” yet, just working on what I understood to be “faith.” Well my dream guy showed up and we have a fabulous relationship and then it tanked 7 mos in totally unexpectedly and all of my fears of powerlessness, betrayal and abandonment reared their ugly heads.

    So now a few months later I’ve managed (with a lot of EFT tapping and other stuff) to get myself back into a really good place for a new relationship. But I’m afraid to “let go” because I’m afraid that I’ll have some more hidden fears lurking around in there that will sabotage me again once I get into and relax into a new relationship. Basically it’s the fear that once I let myself actually be happy, something is going to come snatch it away from me. So I keep sort of digging around trying to find any sneaky resistance and I’m sort of driving myself bananas. (Hmmm, maybe I have some more work to do… but then again… maybe I don’t, ahhh!!)

    Any advice?




  • Melody! I love you, i love you and i love you. I came across ur blog abt 2months now. I was searching for ‘how to forgive yourself’ and you nailed it so well for me that, I just cant stop reading ur articles, ev’1 of them. You are really helping me change totally, though i still hv a lot to work on. Just taken some few steps, i know i’ll get there. I love you so much, and i wish to meet you someday, though i’m in Africa precisely Ghana. I even used ur name for my security code to my student portal. This article has really made me understand LOA so well. And i’m going to manifest ev’fin I’ve ever wanted. U’re a blessing to me. I love you so much!

  • But Melodyyy, doesn’t LOA say you shouldn’t use “I will” cause then you’ll never get it? What’s up with that?

    (That annoys me actually. One of my most powerful-feeling affirmations is an ‘I will’ statement; I feel that my sub-conscious is insisting that the affirmation matters and that its power should not be suppressed…yet there’s this “No I Will” LOA rule.)

  • I just discovered your site yesterday and love it. πŸ™‚ This post in particular has helped me so much and is a good reminder to help me stay in that positive mindset without pondering how my desires will show up. Thank you so much.

  • Ah, yes, people trying to force things to happen do not really get anywhere, just treated like a doormat even more. I also remember Love in the Time of Cholera. Once you desire a person (their essence?) and have them in your heart, the miracle is totally possible. And age does not matter in these cases. It is not a factor in the equation since the person will always make one feel as they did when they were young. Love has that effect when there is a spark. This was really good!

  • Melodious,

    I just thought of an example of this. I was very impressed how, in the movie Legends of the Fall, the little girl had a deisre to marry Tristan (the Brad Pitt character) and she knew it would happen. she had declared this to the young woman one day while she, the young woman, was having an affair with him. I know see that it was purely vibrational.

    The young woman acted desperate much of the time and she was very depressed and worried and had her doubts. The little girl was happy, carefree, and grew up to be a confident young woman who continued to be happy, while the young woman, a decade later, was even more depressed and ended up taking her own life. She had taken Tristan’s letter literally years before, for her to find another man, when Tristan was not ready for a relationship of that sort during the turbulent decade he sowed his wild oats and tried to find himself. She was heartbroken over this while the little girl just focused on her life and was happy, until the time came when she and Tristan matched and it happened.

    • Hey Kat,

      Perfect example. When you hold on to the other person and need them to give you what you want (instead of allowing it happen in the best way possible), things can get ugly. But if you just allow and trust and let go, beautiful men like Brad Pitt come into your life. Ha. Although for me, the dude would have to shave. Just saying.


  • Dear Mello-
    You have such a great way with your writing that while reading, it is literally a curtain being drawn to show a hidden treasure. And then underneath YOUR article is even more gems and nuggets. Beautiful.

    I really loved this article and it really was a huge Aha/lightbulb event for me.
    Thank you so much.
    And thanks to everyone who commented. This is an awesome community. I am so with Mike, it’s pretty much impossible to come to this site and feel bad.


    • Thanks so much Laura! I’m so glad this post and site are helpful. But the clarity is your manifestation you know. I will take credit for the assist, but the real manifestation was all you! πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs,

  • What an excellent post! It’s been a little while since I’ve been on (I think I’ve read almost every article on the site lol) & reading this reminded me why I visit so often. There’s no higher vibration site I know. It’s almost impossible for me to come on & feel bad πŸ™‚

    In regards to the post, what specifically hit home for me was when you said that being impatient messes up the flow & I say this because recently I’ve been in the middle of a big deal that’s been going slower than I anticipated & although I feel positive about it going well, I was taught to follow up & stay on top of potentials, kind of like the term a “hot lead” & “get them while they’re hot.” So when things go slow, that belief kicks in & although I saw it as the right thing to do before, I feel like it may be an impatient act & actually be pushing deals away. What do you think Mel?

    You always say it’s about the feeling behind it. I guess it’s fine as long as I’m not doing it because I think it’s slipping away, right? On the other hand, say it’s been a week since I’ve heard from a prospect. If I contacted them after that week, it would probably be driven by the idea that the deal is slowing & I need to get it going. Is it better to not follow up with this feeling behind it? I think you’ve got the beginning to a possible LOA sales post here πŸ˜‰

    • Hey Mike,

      Oooh, yes. An LOA sales post… that could be fun!

      In the meantime, though, you’re right. It’s all in how you feel. Get lined up with loads of deals, don’t worry about the specifics of WHO they have to come from (if this particular deal doesn’t go through, another will come along. And it’ll be even better) and trust that it will.

      If your actions feel like desperation (read today’s post), then you are not aligned with loads of clients. For example, say you have a big deal in the wings and you feel like calling them up. Are you afraid the deal may not go through? Are you ok if it doesn’t? Do you trust that you can close as many deals as you want? If you’re trusting and aligned, then if you do call them, you’ll be relaxed, not needy. You’re there to see if they need anything, to serve them, to answer questions, but you really don’t NEED them to sign up. Also, be selective. Don’t just take any deal you can get. Figure out what kinds of deals and customers you want. Align with those. Figure out why you want them. Why they feel good. Define them. Spend time doing that and visualizing tons of those deals coming to you. You can have as many as you want, remember that.

      What message are you sending when you get on that call? You’re sending it to yourself, the Universe and the client. Call or don’t call. But if you do call, make sure it’s from a place of alignment, not fear. And they WILL hear it in your voice, no matter how good of an actor you are. Vibration doesn’t lie. πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!!

  • i have a question melody.
    i think on this planet earth the ratio of rich and poor is not good. i want to say that 96% of all the money being earned is earned by 1% of the population(as said by Mr. Bob Proctor in the movie The Secret). its all because people dont understand that money is nthing but and idea. it is just energy as every other thing is. people take money as a very big issue, worry about not having enough giving rise to many other problems(due to low vibration) so i have decided to create a company(kind of a system) which will benefit those who join it. as far as i know the many companies which are running right now on this concept benefit the owners and gives very little to the joiners. but what i want to create is a system which will benefit all the people equally and it will remove the problem of poverty to a lot of extent from this world. so you can say that it focuses mainly on the good of the “poor people”(they are poor because they dont understand what money is.)NO SUCH SYSTEM ON THIS PLANET EXISTS. but i want to create one.
    so the question is can i create such system with the LOA. if i visualise daily and fell that it is coming will it come to my mind.
    it is really huge and it will revolutionize the world. can such revolutionary things be created by the LOA. really?

    • Hey S,

      Yes, you can create such a company with LOA. However, keep in mind that all those who are attracted to join you have to be a match to that experience. You can’t create something that will defy people’s vibrations. You can inspire and be an example and influence, but you can’t force anyone to benefit.

      I’m certain that you can create such a company (if you could not, you wouldn’t have had the idea), and can benefit a ton of people who are ready for that, or nearly ready for it and searching for something like this. And yes, you can do it with your focus. But do it because it feels good, not because you’re trying to save anyone. The first will line you up with high vibrations, the other will make you a match to people who need saving (something you can’t do, so all you’ll match up with is their suffering, which will be frustrating).

      Huge hugs!

      • basically, i am not asking about whether i would be able to attract some people to join me.
        What I am asking is whether i would be able to attract an IDEA , a PLAN, a CONCEPT, that will benefit all those who join it. Why this question is important is because i think the idea which i am thinking about seems nearly impossible. Is it possible from LOA point of view

        • Yes. If you can imagine it, it’s possible. That’s the rule. But you have to be willing to see it as possible in order to line up with it. Keep focusing on it and the ideas will flesh out, become bigger. Then you may find others who can see it, too, even though it’s not physical yet. You can have anything you can imagine.

  • Loved the post and everyone’s comments! I’m a little behind on my email so I didn’t know about it til just now. Perfect timing as usual πŸ™‚ You’re the best, Melody!!


  • Ok here is my weird story…….:) Working with the LOA since a while. Please anyone help me to understand. For the last year finances got a little turbulent but it always worked out fine at the end. So now I’am living in the moment and be extremely grateful ….mad a choice to let go and don’t chase after money anymore . So here comes the fun part , we received a nice paycheck and all kind of weird things happen got sent to wrong places ,twice and all I do for the last 2 days is chasing after that money ,it will take now up to a week till it will be on our account . I really don’t complain even if we don’t know how we going to make it …..I know we will be fine somehow . Just love to get a opinion why and what is the lesson that I don’t get here. I really was sooooooo in peace with this letting go ,now this letting it go don’t want me to letting it GO πŸ˜‰ looking forward to hear some thoughts……sorry for any misspelling English is my second language πŸ™‚

    • Hey Gabriele,

      Well, you lined up with the money, but there was still a bit of resistance that you weren’t aware of, which manifested as a delay. Just a bit, though. Keep soothing and don’t pay attention to the delay. KNOW that it will be ok. It’s just a bit of fine tuning. Often, when we’re not aware of the resistance we have, our manifestations will show us. πŸ™‚

      I hope that makes sense.

      Huge hugs,


  • It’s really weird that I never got an email that this post was up, I always get them,got the one before and after this one, but for some reason this one didnt ever come thru. I doubled checked my email and its not there. I truly believe I wasnt ready for it until today. for some reason I happened to come to the page and click blog home and I suddenly see this post that I was unaware of. And let me explain how amazing this is. I only found out about the LOA about 3 months ago, and It rang true for me. I made a vision board and first step was my dream home. Now it seems near impossible for me to manifest a dream home since I’m in a mortgage with a horrible interest rate and an underwater loan that I have attempted to refi 3 times with no success. but the dream home is on my list anyhow and I know I’m getting it. But for the past few months I have believed the only way for this to happen is to win the lottery. I only found Melody’s site because I googled winning the lottery using LOA and it brought me here to the “bestest site ever”so last night I just knew it was my night, the amount was exactly what I had written on my intention manifestation sheet, lol… but I woke up this morning and had not won ( Was totally shocked) and now days after it was written I see this post. The one that explains exactly what I was doing wrong- trying to figure out the how— WOW, starting now I am letting go of that idea, don’t know how, don’t know when, but its on its way. Sorry this was soo long but just had to get it out. Thanks so much for this post Melody, your intuition is really working well

    • Yay Catrice.

      Well, the thing is, that nobody got that mail. It didn’t go out. I didn’t even realize it until yesterday, when I sent out the new mail. It was just sitting there, unsent. And I could’ve sworn that I got it and had to double check that I hadn’t. It seems that there were quite a few people who weren’t quite ready for it and had to discover it on their own, ha, ha. The Universe makes sure you get what you need WHEN you need it, even if it means screwing with my mailing service. I’m ok with that, actually. Takes the pressure off of me to always get the timing right. πŸ˜‰

      And, I’m so glad that you’re letting go of the need to win the lottery. The house will come, but it can find you in infinite ways. Let the Universe do its job already. πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • Hey Melody!

    I understand the point about doubt and the arrogant little mind messing up with the energy of the manifestation. However, sometimes negative feelings are natural due to the present condition(ing).

    Isn’t it better to just allow them and be aware of their nature? By doing that, negative thoughts have less impact and turn into clouds that just pass by.

    I also understand that you were just underlining the necessity and benefits of positive thoughts πŸ™‚


    • Ah my dear H., but by just allowing them and letting them be, you are letting them go. πŸ™‚

      There’s a difference between that and thinking that you just have to put up with feeling bad and there’s nothing you can do about it. Just letting feeling flow when they come up is allowing the natural process that will keep you moving towards your higher self to take place. Letting go = allowing.

      I bet you didn’t know how wise you were actually being here.

      Huge hugs,


  • i have a question. when it comes to ‘intagible’ experiences like job satisfaction, and getting ideas, or stumbling upon the right data..well, it can happen anytime..its easier tot hink positive.
    what about things like your body? what if someone wants to release weight, for example. theyre carrying it around with em all the time and if the weight dosent drop (physical manifestation) then anxiety creeps in. how do u let go of issues that stare you in the face ( literally) ??

    • Hey Mopey,

      It’s definitely harder with things like weight. But you can focus positively. For example, you can focus on the body parts of yours that you actually like instead of always automatically looking at your worst feature. This takes practice (I tell clients to stick something to the mirror to remind them), but it makes a HUGE difference very quickly.

      You can dress in a way that makes you feel sexy, avoid doing anything that impedes that (wearing jeans that make you feel fat, looking at yourself in windows just to check if you’re still fat, etc.). There are loads of little ways in which you can make yourself feel better and they add up fast. But it does take some dedication, practice and discipline. Continued positive focus makes it easier and easier to focus more positively and then it you can reach thoughts you couldn’t before. Like actually looking at your entire reflection and thinking “Wow. I’m actually quite beautiful.” That doesn’t happen instantly, but it does happen. πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

      • Hmm..the key word here is ‘discipline’ I guess. It takes control to not check weighing scales very morning and to keep checking if the jeans feel a ‘ litttttle’ looser o not. But the checking ruins the whole process I guess, dosent it? Cuz then my mindset announces ‘ is it working? Maybe its not!’

        • Hey Mopeychild,

          This stuff works! I had the issue of looking at, and pretty much despising, my reflection in the mirror. No weight issues, not horribly ugly, but I just did not like the way I looked, at all. Too scrawny, boyish figure, no boobs, drooping butt with celullite, narrow itty bitty pig eyes, no (extremely light) eyebrows and eyelashes, thin lips, dull thin hair, veiny bony hands and feet, no waist, dead fishbelly white skin (yes someone told me my skin was this color), but a skinny red face and neck. There’s more, but I think you get the picture. All this running through my head when I looked at myself. Sheesh!

          So I had to start somewhere. It was hard, cause as you see, I covered a lot of ground in my dislikes, to say the least!!! So I started looking for anything I could like, and all I could come up with was that with my eyes are a pretty green, and my calves look ok. Makes me laugh when I read this, but it’s true. That’s all I could come up with! But it started the process. Doing this along with just getting more positive has made a huge difference in how I see myself!

          Now all that crap just doesn’t ring true. And even better, as far as I can tell, I am just looking better! Period. My skin is looking better, my hair is looking better, even my feet and hands don’t seem to be so ugly and veiny. Go figure!

          I thoroughly believe my dislike of myself, made me look worse, whether in truth or just in my eyes doesn’t matter now. The more I practice liking what I see, the better I look! Just practice until it gets easier and easier! I am amazed at how I feel now. And all I did was start simple and keep on doing it.

          Best wishes!

        • Hey Mopey,

          What Nay said. Totally.

          Stop weighing yourself every day. How much weight do you think you can lose in one night? It’s much more likely that you’ll be disappointed with the miniscule amount your weight will have changed in one day, so you’re actually setting yourself up to feel bad. Stop that! πŸ™‚

          Stop checking and focus on feeling good. Read Nay’s comment three times. It really does work.

          Huge hugs,


  • Hi Melody.

    The way you write is pure genius!! You really do make everything so simple to understand. Thanks so much! πŸ™‚ love from Ireland x

  • I dated this guy for a while. We broke up some time ago. As I am in the process of manifesting a new relationship and going on dates with guys, I can’t help but think of this person. Not in an obsessive way, more that when I see a photo of him, I smile. Genuinely smile. Now, I definitely don’t expect to get back together with him and I definitely want to be with someone who is the best vibrational match for me. But is this letting go? (I don’t want to keep my soulmate away from me!)

    • Everything happens with perfect timing. It boggles my mind every day. πŸ™‚

      Actually, it’s your manifestation my dear. So, you’re amazing. But I’ll take the assist. πŸ˜‰

      Huge hugs!

  • Great post! I have decided to test LOA by manifesting something BIG! haha! Because I’m like that — I tend to just jump right in the water and then figure out how to swim. πŸ™‚
    I am not doing too much ‘work’, actually, which is kind of funny when I think about it — I’m mostly trying to stay in Gratitude and actively appreciate everything I have (among a few other things I’m doing!)– but I’m also not worried that it won’t happen. I am trying to keep in mind that I am doing this just for the heck of it, just for the FUN of it. πŸ™‚ Surprising what I’ve discovered buried in my psyche (such as … and this was a shocker! … “I can’t be successful or rich because then my family won’t love and accept me, I won’t “fit in” with them, etc.” yikes! Time to write more affirmations!)

    Anyway, whenever I start to feel fear or resistance or I start to wonder how the hell this thing can manifest, I remind myself that NOTHING is impossible for the Universe. If I were available to receive it, the Universe could hand me my manifestation on a silver platter right NOW! My mind is little and inexperienced; the Universe is HUGE and mysterious and, yes, magical. πŸ™‚ I like to think that I am here, with a limited perspective, pretending to NOT know the truth of Who I Really Am … makes me laugh! Makes me laugh to remember that I am not only the Receiver, I am also the Creator. I flow with the river and I am the river. I am the Dancer and the Choreographer. I am made of the same stuff as God! I am I AM!

    Who I Am is the Everything!

    So, there is nothing that is denied to me (or any of us!) — except that which my inexperienced, pretending-to-be-separate mind is denying me! haha! I laugh so much these days when I think of us all as God and here we are pretending to be powerless. πŸ™‚
    Sometimes, when I give thanks, I will also say, “You’re Welcome, Kim!” This also makes me laugh. πŸ™‚ Seriously, on a more serious note — I laugh all the freakin’ time these days! haha! (Dude, that was seriously funny!)

    But it does occur to me that I don’t need to test LOA — I have all the proof I need in my life that this is a real “thing”. I am testing my ability to consciously manifest, consciously create and … yes, I’m going to say it! .. deliberately receive! πŸ™‚ Fun, fun, fun experiment! I’m so excited!!

    The Creator and The Creator and The Creator — I am surrounded by friends! πŸ™‚

    The Universe operates outside of Time, so all Time is NOW to the Universe. Instead of surrendering to the fear, the doubt, the questions, I try to surrender to the glory, the wonder, the giggly fun of it all! When fear creeps in, I try to remember to comfort myself with the knowledge that the Universe can handle it, the Universe can handle everything! πŸ™‚

    If all things are possible — then ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. (!!!!!) If this LOA stuff and We Are ONE stuff is what I am choosing to believe, then this is how I’m choosing to live. πŸ™‚ I don’t want to discuss this stuff intellectually, take out these ideas and toss them around and then put them away while I go about my “real” life — I want to actively live this way. Embody these beliefs, give them life through me. Embody — allow this power, this love, this abundance and love (yes, I know I said it twice! haha!) to manifest through me. Accept, receive, create, rejoice!

    • Go KimS!
      It’s really exciting to read your post! I know my fears and doubts come out when I decide to go big, so totally relate. But that’s what it’s all about…going for it and figuring out what we’re capable of. Enjoy, and we’ll laugh with you!

    • Yay Kim! You go girl! The most important thing here is that you realize that the big stuff will come to you incrementally. You’ll move towards it bit by bit, only ever manifesting what feels natural and logical to you. So, notice what is already happening in your reality. It’s shifting all the time. Oh and incrementally doesn’t have to mean slowly, BTW.

      You’re really starting to feel this power, lady. Isn’t it just awesome!! πŸ˜€

      Huge super hugs for you today and all your exclamation points (I use a lot of them too. Can’t help it! Ha.)


    • hey KimS, I’m 3 days late on reading this post, but may I say how wonderful it was reading your comment, I felt the energy right through the core of my being, smiling all the way. Powerful ! Thanks for sharing, in whatever way you conveyed it , it didn’t matter one iota, Brings tears of joy to my eyes as I type this. A good start for my day ahead…Thank you thank you !!!

      Melody the community you attract here is incredibly awesome !!!

      Love you all…

  • Yes Melody!

    I have often contemplated this very subject! ‘Cause as you said, letting go, or not thinking about what I want, just doesn’t make sense. But ‘how’ I think about it does! Keep control of that and I just feel so much better.

    And as you’ve pointed out sooo often, my feelings WILL tell me very clearly when I start worrying about the mechanics instead of the finished product of something I want. I’ve finally started noticing that I almost always slide down into grumpy unhappiness when I let my mind wander into the ‘where is it, how is it supposed to happen, it’s just imposible, etc. etc.’ I don’t always catch it right away. Often I just realize I’m not feeling as good as usual, and THEN start looking at what is running through my head. And sure enough, I’m lamenting in some way about something I don’t have or what isn’t quite right. The hard part is, it just starts sneaking in without you realizing it! 😐

    This is where I see meditation coming in so handy! I’m learning to pay attention to what is running through my head. Not so good at controlling the thoughts, because that’s still like wrangling feral cats for me. But paying attention to them and guiding them in the direction I want is getting much easier. Mostly because I’m just paying attention!

    Just knowing what to look for (feelings), and knowing how to rein my thoughts back to thoughts that feel better, makes all the difference! πŸ˜€

    • That was awesome, Nay! Just reading that reinforces this stuff.

      I must remember that before meetings and such. For the meeting to go well, no matter what the topic, always align first and foremost. When I am all happy shiny puppy, all goes well and smoothly. When I even have an iota of doubt, desperation or something of the sort, no matter what my demeanor, it does not go well. So, this is so vital. Offering some chocolate is another subtle way the meeting goes well, as it increases endorphins and the person has no choice but to be mellow! It calms the savage beast.

      Onward, partner, in our quest!

    • Hey Nay,

      That’s so true. I love the feral cat wrangling metaphor, by the way. Too funny.

      When you experience dread about something, you really just have a negative expectation. Noticing this is the first HUGE step and it alone can already shift a lot of energy. None of us can tell the future. That means, when we have a negative expectation, we’re just making shit up. Why not make up something that feels better and align with that? We get to create WHATEVER we want.

      You’ll get the better of those cats yet!

      Huge hugs!

  • Experiment with reframing your wants as preferences. Getting a preference isn’t required but it is, well, preferred. It makes you happy when you get it but it’s no thing if you don’t. This seamlessly aligns with Melody’s advice above, in fact it gets your mind off of wanting, wanting, wanting. There is a better state than wanting anyway: intending. More on that here:

  • I thought it was important to let go of who, how, and when and we can focus on the what. Like say we fell in love but for whatever reason haven’t manifested actually being together. Can we just let go of the idea that our happiness lies with being with this person and realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea? Should we focus on being in a great relationship but not with a certain someone, just trust that the universe will bring you the perfect mate and it will happen naturally whether it be with who you think it must be with because you have such a strong desire for them or someone new? I’m a bit confused on that one. I have a girlfriend in this exact situation and I haven’t been able to give her a good answer to that yet.

    • Hey Amber,

      Here’s the thing: there’s no right or wrong THING to focus on. It all comes down to how you feel.
      For example, if you’re single and want to find love, it may feel awesome to you to think of a specific person in your life, whom you can use as an example of someone you’d love to find. Or, that may feel terrible, because it’s way too specific and triggers all the fears of HOW you could possibly get with this particular guy. I always recommend stating off with the core of what you want, which is going to be really general. So, you find the feeling of love, affection, connection, validation (whatever it is you’re looking for) and then focus on things that already feel that way. Then, let the specifics come to you. You can try different visualizations, but notice how they feel. Either, make them feel better, or go more general.

      So, your girlfriend might try to visualize a relationship, but every time she does, she sees him cheating on her. in that case, that’s her resistance – an expectation that he will hurt/betray/abandon her. She could then try to see herself in a relationship where that doesn’t happen. It might take a few tries. But, if she’s not able to do that, she should focus on being old with someone, and having a successful relationship behind them, with no cheating. Focus on how other people have those relationships (even more general).
      You find what’s not feeling good and you let go of that. You don’t let go of the core desire to be in love, just of all the false ideas you have about love that mess it up.

      I hope that makes a bit more sense. πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

  • Melody, I only recently found your blog and I love it so far!

    This post today is amazing timing and that amazing timing keeps happening to me lately. I’m dealing with a situation in my life right now and everyone keeps saying to “let it go”. I was just thinking this morning that “letting it go” is not really an option because it’s a lie and I need to find another way to approach it and VOILA I see this post today!!

    I’m paying attention now, Universe. I’m asking lots of questions and they’re being answered.

    Thanks so much for the awesome article! I’m going to print it out and highlight the daylights out of it!! πŸ™‚

  • Hi melody
    thank you for answering the question I was wondering mostly about! Seeing your explanation written so clearly makes perfect sense to me. This will now stop me in my tracks when I start having doubts about a manifestation and my ability to make it happen, now I know what ‘letting go’ actually means


  • Ditto to what Kat said! On my drive in this morning, I was pondering this VERY question! (At the time the thought occurred, I also happened to be listening to a fun/dance tempo/Spiritual song called “Letting Go” by Stephanie Smith.) Thank you for the clear, practical explanation. I am going to share this on my FB page! Love you Melody Fletcher!! ♥ ♥ ♥

    • Hey Janet,

      I KNEW it! Ha. It was you!! πŸ˜†

      I fixed the hearts for you, cause I’m nice like that. Also, flattery gets me to do stuff. Don’t tell anyone. πŸ˜‰

      Huge hugs! ♥ ♥ ♥

      • Oh, I see… (mwahahaha..) I’ll guess I’ll shower you with a barrage of flattery (I almost typed ‘fattery’…), Melody.. LOL

        Keep up the good stuff… you’re my go-to source for some golden nuggets of practical Abraham-Hicks wisdom… πŸ™‚ Thanks and more power to Deliberate Receiving! Cheers.

  • What a timely post! I was actually thinking about alignment yesterday. Thanks for this! It also helps to operate from the perspective that you have what you want already, like playing pretend as a kid and imagining things. I find that helps. So, alignment =knowing. Very good.

    • Hey Kat,

      You’ve got it! πŸ™‚ Yeah, this post very suddenly and emphatically wanted to be written. I don’t think you were the only one thinking about this… πŸ™‚

      Huge hugs!

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