Given that my last post was 4.000 words (that’s long even for me), I thought I’d give you all a break today and keep it short (I know, that makes it sound like I inflict my blog posts upon you, lol). As I announced on Tuesday, I was invited to participate in a live discussion on ADHD on HuffPost Live this week, and I thought you might enjoy watching it. While it may seem a bit weird for an LOA expert to be invited to speak on ADHD (it was weird to me), it seems that I did offer a unique perspective – that ADD an ADHD aren’t afflictions or something negative. Apparently, that view isn’t expressed often, or at least not publicly. So, you know, go me.
And so, there I was, on a panel with an actual ADHD expert, an employment lawyer, another writer, and a person “suffering” from this “disorder” (oh yes, the sarcasm quotes are coming out today!) And even though they were all lovely people (I mean that, the panel was truly awesome), they were expressing the mainstream, doom and gloom view that ADHD is a “mental disorder” and makes it difficult for people to function in this society. About half way through the whole thing, I could no longer contain myself and the Bullshit fairy popped out (figuratively. Not Alien style). If you ever wondered what it might look like if I got up on my soapbox in person, well, here’s your chance to witness it.
After the show ended, I immediately watched it again (it’s the obligatory booger/swearing/did I make a total asshat of myself check). The Huffington Post allows people to leave comments during the live show, and, in a slightly masochistic moment (let’s face it, it could’ve gone either way, my views aren’t exactly mainstream), I read them.
Here’s a little sampling of the comments that appeared during my little rant:
Apparently, my words were hitting a nerve! I imagined people being roused from their seats, sitting up a bit straighter, perhaps even starting to feel just a bit better about themselves. Were my words making a difference? The following comment would suggest that they did:
Well, you know you’ve made it when Big Pharma sends their ninja assassins after you. They don’t just do that to anyone, you know (she says, slightly condescendingly). My head was beginning to swell. My first big-ish media appearance and I had nailed it! Who cares if I stuttered a bit and waived my hands about as if I was getting attacked by bees? I had reached people! I could see them now, the attention deficient masses, taking to the streets with their newfound confidence, and their smartphones, finally able to see themselves not as broken, but as the new wave of our human evolution! Maybe they’d be wearing T-shirts with a little Bullshit Fairy logo on it. And there would be a song! Yes! A song! Like a “We Are The World” kind of thing! And there would be flash mobs doing a dance, like the Macarena, only way, WAY cooler. The Bullshit Fairy Jig. Or something. I hadn’t worked that part out yet. Whatever. It was going to be so cool (yes, cooler than the Bullshit Fairy Jig. It was just a first draft. Stop judging me)! I had arrived! Love and light were streaming through me. The energy that creates worlds was bringing it all together before my eyes! Universe, here I come!
I felt like I was going to burst!
And then, I saw this:
And suddenly I’m an alcoholic weirdo on a rickety soapbox. Ah, media, thou art a fickle mistress.
Seriously though, I had a fantastic time. If nothing else, I was reminded of the fact that I really do live in my own little reality. Being exposed to these radically different views is kind of like taking a little vacay to other people’s realities, where fear reigns, people are actually looking for ways to feel badly about themselves (it’s not a characteristic! It’s a disorder!), and it takes lawyers to remind employers that they are human beings. Now, you might not think that I’d enjoy this little foray out of my own Universe, but you’d be wrong. I loved it. It was like going to Mars and meeting an alien race. I wanted to tap on the glass and study them. It was absolutely fascinating (just to be clear, I don’t mean that in a condescending way at all. I really get giddy with fascination around people who think so differently from the way I do.)
What also made me happy was how willing people are these days to switch to a more positive viewpoint. Even though I never mentioned energy and vibration (it wasn’t that kind of forum), I was expressing a point of view much different from the other panelists. At first… And my views could easily have been dismissed as the rantings of a delusional dork (let’s face it: My only “qualification” for being on that panel was that I’d written a blog post on ADD. On a scale from Guy with Tinfoil Hat to Einstein, that put me at about Psychic Catlady). And yet, much of the panel and, it seems, the audience, were right there with me, nodding along, and even building on the points I made. Had this exact same scenario taken place just ten years ago, I’m convinced it would’ve gone quite differently. What a wonderful time we live in! It takes less and less to nudge people in a better feeling direction. Imagine if all of us nudged just a little? What could we accomplish?
If you’d like to watch the full discussion, you can do so here:
UPDATE: Unfortunately, Huffpost removed the full video a couple of years ago, but I found an excerpt of my rant, so here you go…
hi, wouldof loved to see and hear you. i would of joined you in that all the way. funny all theses dotors and so called people who think and say they know all there is to know about add and adhd. how little they do know. like i will be a cripple all my life. a burden to them an d everyone around me. lol!!!!! im 48 years old now and it hasnt change a bit from the day they first started thinking they know what it is and why. i tell you now and i have allways said what it truely is, humans have evolved and adapted but before they become to that point the people in between suffer with defects to some degree. i have a super high iq, and have some side affects that i wished i didnt have. buy i am what they say is right mack in the middle range. very few of us fall in the point, meaning i am well rounded and very balanced. after me my kids got all the good genes and all the good things about adhd and got none of the bad sides of the adhd. and so they have fully evolved. and is what everyone will come to be in time. so be happy we are the beginning of a new life and are kidds will get all the benffits. so let them all say what they think because in the end the last laugh is on them. mark my words people i dont have a disability or a mental disorder i am a part of what man kind will become smarter, faster,stronger,independent, and not so easy to take advantage of. a leader . just know this when your not in the box and go outside of the box they want to control you and if you are outside of there box they will do anything to keep control but in the end they will not be in control. because we evolved beyond them and became better then them. dont be mad at them feel sorry for them, because they are the bottom of scale we are the middle or the last part of the chain and are kids are the end or allmost the end part. as for me i get to see the end through my childern. and i am so proud of what they are and have hope for the human race and what they will become and do for all mankind.
Thank you so much for sharing your point of view. I’m with you all the way. It’s evolution, plain and simple. 🙂
aaaaaaaaaaaaa same “as it always was, same as it always was…’ I have a little daja vu
this morning..but like reading things twice,they sink in then better…
on a side note, I sent you an e-mail from firstname.lastname@example.org in re: to this subject, .which i thought was very timely considering you were on the topic also.
have a great day melody,
Stan- walks a lot
I’m sorry, I never received your mail. Can you resend it?
You definitely ROCK Melody !
Another well needed perspective to what’s out there in our world today and yesterday, and you do it all so ‘energetically’, whoever reads or hear you, can only know do so if they are ‘ready’.
Keep ROCKING ! !
Thanks so much Tinu!
Yay! I love a wider audience is hearing you 🙂 to quote one of your commenters go girl!
The interview was awesome!!! And yes, you could see the people in the interview change focus, to lighten up visibly, when you started talking. Then again, maybe that’s just me!! 😉 And because your view isn’t one that is well known or even talked about, I think it was great exposure for a new way to see our world and the amazing differences in the people who inhabit it, and are changing it.
The one thing I will say about the diagnosis part of ADHD/ADD is that it can (though I realize not always) provide the means for the additional help and training to teach someone with ADHD/ADD how to work WITH the way their brain works, instead of trying to conform to standard methods. I know it made a huge difference to my son and us, once we understood how the differences can be adapted for.
Thanks! I was really stoked that the rest of the panel didn’t just shoot me down. Quite the opposite in many ways. Times, they are a-changin’! Ha!
I agree with you – for some people the diagnosis provides structure and help and hope. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But I already know that I have these characteristics and I’ve learned to work with them instead of against them. So I was speaking for myself, not trying to say that no one should get diagnosed. For me, it would make no sense. But for someone struggling and not knowing what to do, it can be helpful, if the diagnosis is handled the way you did with your son. 🙂
I liked the lawyer with the red lipstick!
She was just as positive as you, and I bet she helped a lot of people keep their jobs, and stop discrimination.
They were all pretty good, but the DR. guy stirred up a lot of anxiety in me. Just being in a room with him would most likely bring out the patient in me, he’s basically looking for it!
You feel like a broken thing listening to those type of people. Patient 101 displaying emotional outbursts. Patient 101 impulsive talking, wild gesticulation… Patient 101 recommended shock treatment and observation in solitary….
Ok exaggeration, but you know shock treatment is still in mental hospitals, I heard about it on Q&A, an Australain information show on current issues.
It’s called politely “ECT” meaning “Electroconvulsive therapy”.
There are still restraints of patients, mandatory drugs (politely called medications) and when you look into any of the dark side of the moon, you will wish you never looked, because in some ways modern society isn’t so modern.
I am so glad you did this talk, so proud, it gives you a glimpse into what all your readers battle everyday, as they are just a tame sample of some low vibration perspectives.
One day I will also work at home and move to a higher place.
What a shame ADD is seen as a “disorder” and not evolution. If I were you I would have highlighted the fact you were manager in most of those positions.
“wrote a piece on ADD and energy coach” LOL they could have said something better:
Manager of online life-coaching business, Melody Fletcher, Barcelona, Spain. PERIOD.
Or something that points out your corporate background….
You did so well, I am really, really proud. Way to stand up, we need more of you, so positives aren’t outnumbered.
And kudos to the woman that spent 9 years in college! That’s determined!!!
I love you Melody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit it!!!!! I am happy to say that this ADD’er right here is very successful!! I agree with you 1000% that ADD is – I don’t want to pay attention to what you want me to (because it’s really effin boring, lol)!
I have another theory, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. From one ADD’er to another, is I am finding nutrition has tons to do with it also. I have been on the Adderal for two years. It was great at first because I lost weight had tons of energy, but now the weight seems to be coming back on even when I’m still not eating that much. It is becoming to be very hard to eat and am very very tired all the time, not to mention I’ve always had insomnia. Soo, I figured, I’m probably starving my self a bit which when you don’t eat enough can also cause you to gain weight.
So, I just bought a juicer after watching the documentaries on Netflix “Hungry for Change”, and “Fat, Sick, Tired, and Nearly Dead”. I haven’t done the detox yet as I’m getting prepared for it, but have already noticed a difference just from adding juice to my daily diet! I’ve already stopped taking my afternoon dose of Adderal and am hoping after the detox I will eliminate it completely!
If you haven’t watched those documentaries I highly recommend them, you will totally love them, as they talk about all the chemicals in our food and how it causes brain fog etc!! The Hunger for Change movie even brings in the Law of Attraction, how to visualize, and love yourself unconditionally, it was so cool because I didn’t expect that, it was like WOW, there really are more people like us out there, LOL!
I was the biggest junk food junkie so no wonder I had “ADD”! A narcissistic Mother doesn’t help either, she was the type that would tell me I was wrong even when I was right, or if I said, it was raining outside, she would say, no, it is sunny! How the hell was I suppose to pay attention when my head was already spinning before I even got to school, LOL!!!
Soooo, that’s my theory, I thinks it’s a combination of things, and oooh, forgot this one, some of us are more right brain, like I don’t think I have a left brain at all, LOL!!!! So that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, lol!!!! Again, you did Awesome on that show couldn’t have agreed more with everything you said!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, I have another question, so why isn’t Narcissism considered a disorder, Ahhhhhh, thought I’d throw in a funny, LOL! (but it really should be, shhh, I didn’t say that, lol)
Just as a quick note. My son is Aspergers (high functioning autism) and ADHD and is on adderal. The one thing I have noticed is that if he doesn’t get enough water, he starts slowing way down, getting lethargic, and seems to be on the edge of getting sick. As soon as we make him drink more water, the symptoms seem to fade.
If you already get plenty of water, the only other thing I know that has made a difference is cutting back on wheat as much as possible. They say gluten also, but that one isn’t one I’m willing to try to sort through. Too many things have it. 😉 But just cutting back on breads makes a huge difference as far as I am concerned, so might be worth a try. And I also know this is one thing that can help with weight loss for many people, so can’t hurt. 🙂
And yes, his ADHD has made some things difficult, but some things so great for him! So I’m in total agreeance that ADHD/ADD are not an affliction, but more of a different way of thinking that can be harnessed and utilized to live quite well in this world!
I actually think that diet makes a huge difference. But, we can’t forget that all of our actions are simply a reflection of our vibration, so as you change your vibration, you’ll be led to foods that serve you better.
There are tons of reported cases and studies that show a correlation between certain food additives (including High fructose corn syrup) and ADD/ADHD. The way we feel about non-foods introduces resistance when we eat them, and that adds to our negative manifestations. So, we seem to get worse. But all of it comes down to paying attention to our Vibration.
I haven’t seen Hungry for Change, so I’ll grab that, but I’ve seen the Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, and I loved it!!! It was really sad though, when he asked people how old they thought they’d get and they answered with numbers in the 50’s and 60’s. Oh boy. But he inspired so many with his story, showing people what was possible, that they could heal, feel better, get energy back and really live. I’d love to have that kind of an impact. 🙂
Thanks for all those kind words! I really appreciate them. 🙂
I liked the lawyer, too. And really, I thought the doctor was quite awesome for admitting that ADHD people aren’t broken, because that’s the picture that many mental health professionals paint. Actually, the BS fairy started to lose her shit right around the time that other dude mentioned it being a “mental disorder”.
There were a lot of points I wanted to make, but alas, there wasn’t enough time, and I couldn’t hog the entire show. As it was, I actually got a lot more chances to talk than I thought I would, but I guess the moderator was watching my face (I do not have a poker face. At all.), and could see I was bursting to say something and she called on me.
I really don’t mind that my corporate background wasn’t highlighted. I did mention that I had managed hundreds of people, though. I’m grateful to the Huffington Post for the publicity and for featuring me (and calling me an “author”) in a separate post. I thought that was awesome. 🙂
Great stuff Melody. You keep going and don’t let any idiots put you down.
LOL Jonathan. NEVAH!!! 😉
I watched it yesterday when it was posted on Facebook and my young ‘um says Thank you
( She was better with medication when she was so angry in her teens – I think even she would agree) We did not just “pill” her up we added 2 times a week “how to learn/behaviors” therapy and “nonviolent communications” workshops.
Now I am waiting for your rant about how we get past this hatred of WOMEN in the USA and apparently India. I know there are other places that are awful too…but I also watched the hearings in Congress and Hilary Clinton Yesterday – 5 hours they attacked her and she just kept telling them the truth – “Why did they not adequately fund diplomacy? You are just funding the military machine not the caring communicating machine.” I am sending out as much love as I can, the anti-abortion people are picketing again this morning….at least no garbage thrown at my house and front door.
I do not think I can joke about people being after someone for their opinion and ideas
…and when I try to laugh them off – wow they are made even more furious.
It was a great program. Thank you for sharing it again here. You Go Girl!
Yes, we have this to an extent in Australia in the sense of getting angry or emotional A woman crying/yelling is neurotic, a man is just letting off steam. If a female has a complaint, she is nagging, if a male has one, it’s a valid observation.
I think globally woman are considered a bit precious, and a man is more allowed to get angry without looking like a “bitch” it’s called being assertive. There are many double-standards worldwide.
Even when PM Gillard was elected there were still people saying she whould be home having kids, not leading the country. Some of these views come from older women. Women add to the hate of women.
Sadly the problem is not men, but humans conditioning. Women throw just as much hate at other women, as some men do.
Here there is still a pay gap in general:
ABS statistics released in May 2011 show that across Australia, women’s average full-time weekly earnings are now 17.2% less than men’s. This is an increase of 0.2 percentage points from 17.0% in the previous quarter, November 2010.
When part-time and casual work is taken into consideration, the total earnings gap between men and women is 34.9%.
For doing the same thing.
We think the push for equality has ended, but it really just begun.
I think I’m afflicted to an extent, as I really adore men, and have more male friends than female, and get along better with them.
This is years of listening to negative messages about women form my mother, who claims to be empowered, and against sexism, but then will also say the men know what they are doing and let them do it etc.
For someone who is not sexist, and gets angry from sexist remarks, she sure did flood me with messages I’m still trying to delete. There’s so many things I still think I can not do.
There’s a lot of damage there and I can’t wait until the global focus truly changes, and we don’t have to kick butt, or run the country perfectly, run a marathon, complete the feats of strength just to prove ourselves as capable.
Who did this reply please?
sorry, I see it’s Alice! oops
I appreciate your good words on my comment. Yes, often it is women who are hardest on other women – I have not worked in women’s health for a number of years, but today the protesters in my life were all women, who were very nasty and unkind with their words. I just think fear is such a master for some people. I worry about my child’s safety because of her ADHD behaviors but right now she is working for a company that finds them the greatest of assets and that is worth all the time and energies to get there.
I just wish the evolution was not promoting such a backlash and for all the folks who speak up like Melody, there are a huge number of vocal people being noisy in the past directions.
Thank you Patricia,
This means a lot coming from you. I always read your comments, maybe some really big ones I didn’t read, but most of them.
I think you are brave, as you have many struggles for a long time, and this is what I go through with health and never getting anywhere with my life.
I feel a kinship there, someone that tries so hard, and you care a lot about people being involved with welfare activities and the animals you love.
You say many wise things, and I think you’d be a great role model.
If I ever were that stable, and that brave of a woman (instead of doing what I do and saying I’m too sick, someone needs to help me)
I’d be so proud of myself, and I think you are remarkable.
Have a beautiful day.
I am australian too and found it very interesting about your comments in regards to women being negative towards women. When I read Melody blog about women choosing to be stay at home and look after their family instead of working – her words struck a chord in me – I agree women are bullying women to have careers and to live up to a standard that men do not care about. Its true what women have achieved to empower themselves on one hand on the other hand they try to put women down. I just have found it interesting lately that men are a lot more kinder to women then women are to women in certain areas of life i.e looks/beauty ideals and lifestyle choices.
Sorry, I keep telling Melody not all the replies get delivered into my inbox. (despite checking the subscribe buttons) I have to check things days later.
Yes, I heard from many women that it is the older women holding the standards for younger generations of women & their peers.
In nearly every community, it is the women parroting the words of a small percentage of men at other women.
Especially older women towards younger women.
It’s old beliefs, and the younger men are ditching them. I think some women were hurt, and they try to pass this on to their daughters.
It’s good to have a sense of humour; but I often wonder if dumb jokes like “make me a sandwich” are making this worse? It’s a joke, sometimes even a parody of sexist times, but it might just be adding to that old energy.
There are many little things like that, and big, serious things (like difference in paycheck–that’s no joke) that are still around in this modern era.
There are also many men with outdated ideas about women, and the frustrating thing is the women that agree with them.
It really is a topic Melody hasn’t covered, and it’s something I think the Bullshit fairy might address one day. It could even be part of a series about women and humans breaking out of gender roles.
She did write an article about homosexual relationships, and how they break the gender roles.
But this didn’t quite cover the spectrum of womens’ issues.
I find that a good looking woman will be more likely to be considered a bimbo, than a good looking man.
She has to go to great lengths to display intelligence, and can’t relax as much as man could.
There’s so many things, and I’ve only recently discovered how many “personal” problems were related to my ideas about being female. I had no dea of the scale of negativity I had absorbed.
I thought it was ridiculous seeing that more than half the population if female, I can’t use that as some excuse. But still, there is no denying I have some issue there.
Thank you very much for your comment. (Melody, hope you read these.)
Read it and noted it down. 🙂
What would you like to know, and why the opps?
Hope you are well.
Thanks for adding your own experience here.
Noted. I guess I haven’t written that much about women’s issues, although, you know, my views on this might not be too popular, lol. Because it’s up to us women to empower ourselves. I like how Hillary focuses on the solution and on where the focus is.
I’ve put the issue on my list of blog topics and will write about it when I’m inspired to. Although, instead of it being a big, epic post, this might all be addressed as part of smaller posts that break issues down, bit by bit.
It’s interesting that you said that there’s a “hatred” against women. I think there’s a fear of women, both by women and men. But it’s a very, very complex issue, that I don’t think can be addressed in one post. The issues in the US or Western World are also different from what’s going on in India or other Asian countries, so there’s a huge cultural component as well. Let me have a think about this.
That was kick-ass, Melody! I want to be just like you when I grow up. You also reminded me of some very important points. 🙂 You rock and I would like a Bullshit Fairy T-shirt if you don’t mind. 🙂
LOL Jenapher! Thanks so much.
Noted. A T-shirt shall be reserved for you, if and when they come off the presses. Actually, I’d really like one, too… 😉
Magnificent! My love and admiration for you grow with each amazing blog post! I love your sense of humor, writing style AND the cherry on top is that you’re getting your perspective out there and making more folks aware, how exciting is that?!? One of my nieces whom I’ve been raising since she was 3, was recently diagnosed with ADHD. She’s quite brilliant and read at a very early age, reads at a higher level than her 15-year old sister even…when you wrote your first post on the disorder you really opened my eyes and basically just confirmed that there isn’t anything wrong with these gifted individuals. I shared my newfound thoughts and your points with my other kids and they were quite intrigued with your perspective as well. It just made sense! I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: you’re the bomb, lady! Thank you. 🙂
Thanks so much for all your kind words. You know, I was a bit apprehensive about doing a show on ADHD. I mean, I’m no mental health expert, at least not in the traditional sense. But when I realized I was there to provide a positive viewpoint that no one else was presenting (anywhere?), I was on board. Hopefully, a few people with ADD/ADHD learned to see themselves differently that day. 🙂
Very good Melody! This indiscriminate labeling and attempted shaming of people is nonsense.
Wow. It was quite a battlefield. I think it’s good that this so-called “ADHD” or “ADD” is very treatable.
Cheers Melody and thank you very much!
It made me curious. It made me wonder that if Melody was medicated, would she be as good at coaching or streaming high-focus energy?
I could also understand what Michael was saying about how in some cases it would run people into the ground.
It sounds like a powerful focus tool, and if aimed the wrong way, things could go quite wrong, but once harnessed correctly, could turn you into a super-positive focus beam!
ADD could be like the light-saber of chi energy. 🙂
Hmm, I don’t really know but I like Melody the way she is right now . 🙂
It would seem ADD or ADHD (based on the opinions of the panelists including Melody) is just a personality type like how some people are shy, outspoken, workaholic, etc.
And like with anything else, if you don’t like it you can seek help on how to overcome and accept it.
Obviously there are different degrees to ADHD and ADD, but for most “sufferers”, simply the realization that most of their pain is coming from trying to conform to a system they’re not built for rather than seeing their disability as an ability (quoting the lawyer here…), already helps a great deal.
And for some, medication can be very useful, as well. But I think the majority of ADD and ADHD people would do well just to learn to work with their brains instead of against them. 🙂
I think you did fantastic! As a fellow ADHD, I’m finding entrepreneurship as the way to go. Although hanging out my own shingle has been the best thing ever – as a psychotherapist, I’m responsible for some strands of business that make me crazy as a fellow ADD’r. I teach Artist Way in winter to help folk find their inner BS fairy to become their own compass toward true north. I’m very much enjoying your site and have enormous respect for what you’re doing.
A psychotherapist who has ADD. I love it!!! Of course, don’t we all to a certain degree nowadays? Isn’t our tolerance for BS getting lower all the time? Well, it is in my reality, at least, lol.
Huge hugs and thanks so much for all your kind words. I really appreciate them.
Hmm, video won’t play. I was very excited! 🙂 Is it available on you tube or somewhere else?
Weird… Try this link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/23/add-helped-my-career-melody-fletcher_n_2536664.html
You can see just my highlights or the whole video (at the bottom). Hope they play from there…
No subtitles, daaaaaaaamn! BUT WAY TO GO
Sorry Jasmine. 🙁
You go girl. I am a former teacher and the mother of a “marching to the beat of another drummer….” son. I have always been uncomfortable with the “disease” label for the kid who would rather be outside digging a hole to China or hopping up and down to see how long it took to induce peuking. It seem that just about EVERYHING you say, I have been thinking all along but was afraid to say. The kids I taught would be very happy to research a topic of their choosing and to emurse themselves in learning on their own terms and make it look like what an administrator might consider “seat work”. Of course I was CUT from the public school system the first time there was a budget cut. Go figure.
It’s still hard for a lot of people to imagine that people (or kids) who do whatever they want and follow their passion could be “productive”. That’s one of the biggest hurdles we have to overcome. And yet, more and more people are waking up. Woohooo!
Soon, all teachers will have the freedom to be like you were.
Awesome, Melody! V. impressed at your awesomeness! :O)
Psychic Catlady!!!! Hahahaaahahahaa!!!!!! 🙂