I’ve written pretty prolifically about how to use the Law of Attraction to leave a job you hate, work with a crap boss or coworker, and create the career of your dreams. Up until now, most of what I’ve written has been aimed at the unhappy employee, with little administrative power. But, what about if you’re the boss? What if you’re the unhappy manager of unhappy employees, and you want to use LOA to create a better work environment, but don’t really know how or where to get started? Today’s blog post is for you.

A wee bit of personal history

People management is one of my biggest passions and one of those subjects most likely to get me up on my soapbox. I’m very, very good at getting the best out of people and training others how to do so, as well. But it wasn’t always like that. In fact, my first management job (I was 19 and the General Manager of a Restaurant) was a horror show. I was young, insecure (which made me come across as arrogant), eager to prove myself (pushy), a perfectionist (micromanager), and hadn’t a clue as to how to manage people. My bosses were no help at all. They demonstrated an old world management style, where leaders ruled by intimidation and employees were motivated by fear. You do what I tell you to do because I’m the boss. That’s why. And just like in parenting, that style may get limited results, but it will never lead to the outcome we truly want. That style didn’t resonate with me at all. I felt fake (I’ve never been a mean person, and I didn’t like barking at people), inauthentic, and my employees were visibly unhappy. I knew there had to be a better way, even if I didn’t yet know what that way looked like.

I learned how to manage people the hard way – through trial and error. I watched, listened, tested, reworked my methods and tried again. Over the years, I learned what worked and what didn’t, and wouldn’t you know it, the methods that worked best turned out to be aligned with the teachings of LOA. Go figure. What I learned most of all was that managing people is a skill all its own, and one not generally taught in Universities and MBA programs (often not even touched upon). Just because you can manage projects doesn’t mean you can manage people. That’s like saying that a Podiatrist should be able to fix your heart. After all, he’s a doctor, right? And while medicine understands the difference in skill sets and offers specialized training for Cardiologists, the business world often (way too often) completely overlooks the fact that managing people is a highly complex specialty all on its own. The biggest reason that so many managers are so crappy at leading people is because they’ve never been taught to, but were just thrown into the arena with the lions with nothing but a loincloth. Good luck with that.

While I can’t pack a whole people management course (product idea?) into one blog post, I’ve listed five lessons, each of which covers an important mindset, along with some practical tips to help you implement them. These lessons represent a style of management which will help you take a completely different and much more effective approach to creating a stellar work environment and getting the most out of your staff.

Lesson 1 – What are managers even good for?

Many an employee has asked themselves that question, and perhaps you have, too. We all just assume that management is necessary and good, and that we can’t live without it. Many companies operate on a “the more the better” mindset and create layer after layer of managers. Some have so many managers, they have to create managers to manage the managers and there’s hardly anyone left to do the work. But here’s the truth (I did warn you about the soap box…): If the manager of your office walked out tomorrow, would the operations shut down? What about if all of the employee walked out instead? Which would hurt the business more? Managers are not necessary. They are useful, don’t get me wrong, but if you’re talking about who is worth more to the business on any given day, I’d say it’s the people doing the actual work, hands down.

So, why do we even need managers? A leader can provide strategy and vision, create common goals for everyone to work towards, and help remove obstacles to those goals to ensure a smooth operating environment. When done right, there is a balance between management and the workforce. It’s a cooperative relationship instead of an adversarial one. If you want to work towards a common goal, the employees and managers have to be on the same side. I’ll go into each of these points in more detail, but the main job of a manager, especially a people manager, can be boiled down to one sentence:

A manager’s sole purpose is to create an environment in which employees can perform to the very best of their abilities.

In other words, a manager’s main job is to get themselves, the company and any other obstacles out of the employees’ way.

Lesson 2 – Everyone wants to do a great job

There’s this assumption among many manager types that employees are essentially a bunch of lazy bastards who have to be motivated and sometimes cajoled or threatened into doing their jobs. The idea is that if you don’t give people a big enough incentive, they’ll wander about aimlessly and do nothing. They are ONLY there to get a paycheck, a bonus or as a stepping stone to their next career. What a bunch of bullshit. If this is how your workforce is behaving, it’s management’s fault. Bad management! But the truth is (slapping you with a lot of truth today) that everyone wants to do a great job. Everyone wants to feel successful and useful and proud of what they’ve accomplished. And when you understand this and create an environment that supports this innate drive rather than opposes it (which is what most businesses do!), you’ll get drastically different results.

Have you ever had the sense that corporate policies actually kept you from doing a good job, like they were deliberately designed to get in your way? This isn’t just a cynical attitude. While obstacles generally aren’t created on purpose, but are usually the result of clueless management, the fact of the matter is that most employees who are doing a crappy job are failing to succeed because they’re not allowed to. Bitter, cynical employees with a horrible attitude are usually incredibly driven and passionate people who have been kept from doing a great job over and over again and finally resigned themselves to the fact that the system is broken. They live in a state of powerlessness and anger, and will take it out on anyone they come in contact with. Cynics are created, not born.

Everyone wants to do a great job and if they aren’t, something is wrong. It’s your job as a manger to figure out what that is. Approach your staff with this mindset, and you’ll be 80% of the way there (to creating an awesome work environment).

Lesson 3 – Create a common vision and communicate it

It’s your job as a leader to create a vision that everyone can work towards. I’m not talking about a useless mission statement that contains a lot of pretty, pretty words and means nothing. I’m talking about a goal that everyone can and wants to get behind. Are you in middle management? That doesn’t matter. You can still create a goal for your department or team. If you have just one employee, or even if you just work on your own, make sure you know what you’re working towards. But here’s the thing – your goal has to:

  • Be simple and make sense to you and your employees
  • Be an emotional goal, something you and your staff can get excited about
  • Be under the direct control of your team (narrow the goal until this is true)
  • Be measurable and trackable

An example of a bad companywide goal would be: “Maximize the profit potential for the next three quarters.” This may make the CEO and board of directors happy, but what, exactly, do your employees get out of it? Never mind that they have little control over profit potential, generally aren’t given all the information needed to accurately assess the state of profit potential (and may not even know exactly what that means), and don’t really care if it’s maximized or not.

An example of a better goal would be: “Become the widget manufacturer with the highest customer service rating in the country.” You could then break that goal down into more specific objectives for each department. This goal is trackable, something to get excited about (who doesn’t want to be The Best?), and if it’s broken down into different objectives (what can each department do to provide the best client experience ever), controllable, while making each employee feel like they’re part of the bigger picture. Because they freaking are.

The next step is to then communicate that vision to the employees, and I mean fully. Don’t keep your staff on a need to know basis. The more information they have, period, the easier it will be for them to do their jobs. If there are problems you’re concerned about, share them. Let them help you figure out solutions. These are the people working in the trenches every day. They have a valuable perspective you need to take into account. They know what works and what doesn’t. Listen to them. Remember, you are there to help them do a better job by providing resources and removing obstacles, not to beat them into submission.

If your staff isn’t getting excited about the goal you’re proposing, you either didn’t pick the right goal (it doesn’t meet the above criteria), or you have to convince them, with the appropriate information, that what you’re asking of them is possible. Ask them to share their concerns. Ask them what they’ll need from you in order to make that goal happen, and then do your best to give it them. If your employees are balking, it’s usually because they don’t believe that they’ll be allowed to be successful. It’s your job to show them otherwise.

Once you’ve communicated the vision and gotten the hopefully enthusiastic agreement of your staff (or at least their willingness to give it a try so you can prove to them that you are going to hold up your end of the bargain), continue to give them updates on a regular basis. Let them know how you’re all doing, if you’re veering off or staying on course. They need this information in order to be successful. If your numbers aren’t where you want them to be, sharing them with your staff in detail and getting them involved is a million times more effective than barking “work harder, dammit”.

Lesson 4 – Expect the best from your employees

Not only do your employees WANT to be successful, they have it in them to be more productive, efficient, creative, and yes, happy, than you’ve ever dreamed. But, one of the biggest obstacles you’ll have to remove before that can happen is your negative expectation of them. Even if you never decided that employees are lazy morons, that attitude is fostered so heavily by the corporate environment that it’s nearly impossible not to be affected by it. The good news is that a little bit of deliberate focus goes a long way.

Expect your employees to do a great job. Understand that if they aren’t, it’s because something is wrong, and not because they’re lazy or incompetent. If there’s a problem, sit down with the employee and ask them what’s wrong. Assume that there’s an obstacle and that when it’s removed, your employee not only has the ability but the willingness to succeed. Approach all situations with this mindset, and you’ll be amazed at the results.

What could be going wrong? While each situation is different (you’re dealing with people, after all), I’ll share some of the most common reasons that employees aren’t thriving:

  • Bad hiring. The employee is in the wrong job, performing tasks they have no passion for and couldn’t care less about. Perhaps they can’t even get themselves to care about the bigger picture. If you put an artist in the accounting department, you can twist yourself in knots, they will never be happy there. Try to tie the employee’s job into a bigger picture they actually care about. Figure out what the employee’s skills and passions are and try to transfer them to a more suitable job. Or, do them a huge favor and let them go (sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to fire someone). Also, revamp your hiring practices.
  • No common vision/not enough communication. The employee doesn’t know how their job ties into the big picture, doesn’t know what the actual goals are, and/or doesn’t have the information they need in order to do what you want them to do. They may be lost and confused, asking “why are we even doing this?” They may be feeling ignored, like their voice and knowledge doesn’t count. Do a better job of communicating your vision (and creating an appropriate goal). Listen to and address their concerns and schedule regular feedback sessions (where feedback is given both ways).
  • Lack of skill/training. This can be due to bad hiring, but more often than not, it’s a training issue. Employees must be given the resources and information to succeed. Insufficient or a total lack of training (including hands on training) is usually the culprit. Ask the employees to help you create a better training program (they know what they need!). Designate more experienced staff as trainers, compensate them accordingly and make sure they have the time to train (do not expect a trainer to complete the same work volume as a non-trainer). Allow for newbies to spend time on the job with trainers, being shadowed, instead of just going through a theoretical course. Encourage questions, allow mistakes and give regular feedback. I’m also a big fan of knowledge databases, where staff can easily access all the information they need.

Lesson 5 – Celebrate the Awesomeness

It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day operations of a business and look only at what still needs to be done, what’s not working and what needs fixing. But, as LOA teaches us, you get more of what you focus on. So, does it really make sense to spend the majority of our time focusing on problems? Sure, we want to be aware of the issues, but once they’re defined, once we know what they are, how much more do we really need to flog that horse before we have a full understanding of the situation? If you know that your sales numbers are down, does it really help you to relentlessly harp on and on about how low they are? Nope. Not one bit. If your sales numbers are down, you want them to come up. In which case you should be focusing on the sales numbers being higher and celebrating every little increase no matter how teensy, instead of dismissing small spikes as temporary and preparing for the worst “just in case“.

Focus on what you want more of. Make lists of what you love about your employees (don’t show this to HR, they may get the wrong idea). Why are they so awesome? Notice what’s going right and advertise it. If customers send you positive feedback, post it publicly and foster pride in a job well done. If 100 things are going wrong and one thing is going right, focus on and celebrate that right thing. Be like a broken record, going on and on about how great your staff is and what they do well. Be proud of your staff. See their value. See their awesomeness. See their potential. See them for Who They Really Are, magnificent co-creators who have the ability to astound you. Admire them. Cheer them on. Root for them. Defend them. Be in their corner. Expect the best from them. Believe in them. Celebrate with them.

Bottom line

If you’re thinking that all of this sounds really great but can’t possibly work in your company, let me set you straight: I’ve proven this, again and again. And I’ve worked in companies so thick with bureaucracy they made the government look like a well-oiled machine. I’ve done this on a team level, a shift level and on a department level. I’ve taught others how to do this, and they’ve become equally successful. I’ve turned “hopeless” employees around 180 degrees. I’ve witnessed people quit and leave for better paying jobs (I was not able to control the salary levels), only to come back and take the pay cut because they missed the environment so much. I managed to get pay increases approved when there was no money. I’ve seen people knock themselves out for me, even though the company didn’t appreciate them one bit (people work for people. Never forget that). I’ve seen people nearly kill themselves to do a good job, even when the company made it impossible for them to do so. I’ve seen employees who transferred from another division for a project come to life and excel beyond anyone’s wildest expectations when given the chance to, and nearly break down in tears when they had to go back to a different manager.

You can’t control everything that the managers above you do and you don’t even want to try. But you can control what you focus on. You can control if people under your management are informed, know what’s expected of them, care about that goal and have the opportunity to be successful. You can control how you view them, what parts of them you focus on, and how happy you are at work. You can create an environment where people are happy, where they succeed, where they are heard, where they get truly excited about work. And in turn, they’ll make you look like a star. It’s not about making them do a good job. It’s about allowing them to. No matter what level you’re managing at, you have more power than you know. You can make a much bigger difference than you may have ever imagined. Yes, little old you.

Now it’s your turn: What’s the one thing, the biggest a-ha moment you’re going to take away from today’s post? Share in the comments!

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  • This is a nice post. However I don’t agree that the old world management style is not good. I worked in both ‘new world’ where managers were managing according to people and then in a traditional company where bosses yelled in public; but as I had shifted my energy, my yelling bosses were my dearest and the old world management style worked beautifully for me.
    And everyone DOESNT want to do a great job, believe me. There were many times when I only went to office to fool around and purposely didn’t do much work I was given. So, there are plenty of people who like to fool around as well. One year I worked in a company where the main thing I did was downloading karaokes from internet; bunking office to do shopping and I kept Archies inside Wall Street Journal and read during office hours, pretending I was reading WSJ. I have met many many people who DONT want to do good job, who are there to fool around, but somehow sometimes happen to make contributions too. I personally managed a brilliant employee like that, who, when he was in a good mood, would do something astounding and bring great benefits to the company (like me).
    I don’t agree with goals also. I managed hundreds of people, with great success. I saw NONE of them (neither me) liked goals and achieving goals. I found out what area of work they were passionate about and gave them that and that’s it! They did it amazingly well. I NEVER talked for once about common goal – everyone was bored. But I knew what each person liked – one person loved writing about technology; another one was great at communication; one was excellent in calculations; another one was great at mentoring others; yet another person was amazing at muti-tasking and handling the most difficult clients. Without speaking about a common goal, I got all goals achieved by simply finding out what each person liked and encouraging each one to do that.
    And the greatest management lesson is LOVE. I learned I can get almost anyone to do anything for me when I loved them genuinely, from the heart. You see, I was in my mid 20s while managing grown up men in their 30s; and coming from a very male chauvinistic society, I presumed it must be hard being the big boss of so many men. However, all men turned to docile lambs and started stretching at late nights and cancelling vacations to work “for me”. Many of them verbally told me that they are working “for me” because I love them and they want to make sure I am saved in front of top management. When I gave love, the love returned. Then, when working as a middle manager who had to handle hundreds of tough tough suppliers and blue collar laborers who were notorious for being difficult, I simply loved them and everyone followed easily. It is hard not to perform for a manager who loves you. I have worked hard for managers who loved me and didn’t perform for those who didn’t love me. Love always works. Love is the greatest management lesson.

  • Gotta love the positivatrix!
    The beknighted working world is gagging for facthealthy and spiritwise instruction.
    She really out to be published.
    And not just in some soft-cover new-age periodical for the back-alley stores.
    Melody should be bound in leather and flogged on the high street.

    • She will be published Caradog. As soon as she can find the time to smoosh all her knowledge into a book. 🙂

      And your last sentence makes me think you just read the post on S&M… LOL

      Huge hugs,


  • Hi Melody,

    As usual, your post speaks such great truth! The art of managing people is a great one if mastered. A great manager, will empower and motivate their staff to do things to bring the business forward, that even the CEO never dreamed possible.

    By focusing on peoples strengths, and rewarding even the smallest achievement, this will inspire employees to learn and grow and achieve more.

    Focus on what you want, not what you don’t.

    As usual I love your stuff, learning all the time.


  • Lovely Melody!!

    I have been in management, and I was NOT a good manager. I wasn’t a horrible manager, but I was not a good one. Why? Because I could only see the down side of everything, and I didn’t understand that what you focus on is what you get!

    I always wanted to do well, and I always made sure I gave as much info to my people as I could, but I didn’t know how to create an environment that fostered a good attitude. I only knew how undertrained, overwhelmed behind, and not ready I usually felt. Because that was my focus, I never felt ready or capable and couldn’t create a better environment for my people, even though I did want to.

    But looking back, I can now see why I felt the way I did, and how I could have changed it! Sometimes, (sometimes!) I want to try it again and see if my new mindset and new ways of thinking would do as much in that environment as it has for me in my home environment.

    Well, I guess I don’t wonder, I actually know it! Ha Ha!!! 🙂 🙂

    WOW!!! That right there is an AHA moment! Because I know, I truly know that I can no longer stay focused on the negative without wondering about what positive I can come up with! That just made my heart kinda jump in my chest. What a great feeling to know that!!!

    Thanks as always.

      • Hey KimS!!!
        I know what you mean. I’m getting them more too! And that I can’t stay grumpy or negative just makes it all the better! 🙂

    • Yay Nay!! (I always say that, don’t I? But it always fits!)

      You know, if you hadn’t had that experience, you never would’ve had the aha moment you just did. Think on THAT! 🙂

      Huge hugs,


  • Hi Melody,

    I must have missed the “create the career of your dreams” as the only job posts I’ve read are ones from the perspective of people already in a job they don’t like or where there are people at that job they don’t like.

    Is there a blog for those in the “blank slate” category?: e.g. in between jobs, just left school, returning to workforce after parenting, returning to work after sickness, just quit their job/ just got fired, and/or unemployed.

    Is it easier to start with a blank slate or try to fix a job from inside the mess? Or is it easier just to clear the platform entirely?

    When visualizing what one would like (describing co-workers and customers, how they feel at work, the general idea of what a good job feels like) is this a good time to use “the sky is the limit” thinking, during this “blank slate” period? Should skills, pay rates or other limitations be included, or should the image just be about what we want, regardless of what we can actually do?
    It seems like a good opportunity to go for gold. (??)

    What are your thoughts on this?

    • In addition to this, would creating this happy work environment in our minds eye create other opportunities or possibilities?

      e.g. You find a flier for a course or university–and your “co-workers” are students, and the universe knew what you really wanted was to go back to school.

      Would thinking of a job limit you to a job, or just open doors to other things such as starting your own business, and having that inspiration come?

      After setting up the foundations, how obvious will the “call for action” be?

      • Hey Veronica,

        Try reading the”Can I use LOA To Get Acting Jobs,” and “This Stuff Really Works – A Reader Shares Her Story” posts. Both of these show methods for getting what you want in a job.

        Yes, creating a happy work environment in your minds eye DOES provide opportunities and possibilities. The universe knows what you want, and you focusing on how you want to feel will line you up with all kinds of possibilities that match that feeling. And remember, it’s not about ‘what’ the job is. It’s about how you want to feel and what you want to experience while in a job. Being specific about a job is not bad if you feel good while thinking about it. But if you let getting that specific job be the criteria for you being happy, you may limit the flow of more and better opportunities that are waiting for you, which are not that job.

        As for the call to action, as far as I’ve experienced I don’t see it as a ‘call’ or some huge AHA moment. I think what really happens is you just know what to do, without really even thinking about it! It just seems to be the next logical step. But that is just my experience, and may not be true for you. But what I can say is, you will know!!!

        Hope this helps a little. 🙂

        • Hi Nay,

          Thank you for your unexpected advice.
          I appreciate the supportive words of your last two paragraphs.

          As far as the articles you suggested, I am a long-term reader of this blog. I rarely comment as many other readers ask so many questions, and my input there would just be repeating what is already available. However this was a question that has not yet been asked.

          I see the heroine of the “This stuff really works” article is in a very different situation to what I am describing. She has a background in customer service and administration and is focusing her applications here.
          The heroine of the “this stuff really works” story also makes reference to private messages/coaching and visualizations as described for her by Melody (not described in full on the blog), so I’m also looking for something specific like that.
          I am referring to people on a new road, a blank slate, maybe with little/no experience, maybe with lots of experience–but it doesn’t matter as they are starting anew.

          Perhaps they were stay at home parents, or students just finishing school, or someone long-term unemployed for various reasons. Perhaps they just had cancer treatment and recovery exercises and return to the workforce after a significant gap. Maybe they never had a job in their life- who knows!
          Perhaps they really disliked all their past jobs and are looking to start completely fresh.
          This sis a completely blank slate, and different from people who are experienced in something.
          This is when you want to start new, but not have to start back at square one-serving burgers and fries to people (hyperbole) because all your experience is in a particular field, and you want to start absolutely, completely fresh somewhere else.

          As far as the stay at home mothers, there may be people out there with zero experience or ideas. They don’t really have a resume at all- well not since 1970 something!

          So we’re talking about new people, looking for new opportunities without much of a back-story.

          The acting blog was very amusing.

          What are you currently doing, and are you happy with what you are doing?

          • Hey Veronica,

            Sorry I didn’t get to this sooner! First, what you ask is just so valid and I am exactly like one of the people you list as examples. But let me give you what I think first.

            The most important thing is not that someone is starting over or that they don’t know what they want, or they have had a huge gap between jobs, or they have no experience, etc, etc. Their primary focus needs to be how they want to feel when they get a job. And doing this makes even more sense when the facts are that they don’t know what they want. In essence they are looking to start working, but have no idea what the job will be, if it will relate to what they know or don’t know, if they will have enough experience, or if they will even like what they will end up doing BECAUSE they don’t know what job they want. So if they really look at those facts, the one thing they can know and can focus on is how they want to feel at any job they get. Period. And in so many ways, that makes it so much simpler, if they let it!!!!

            This is where it seems to be the hardest because we think we have to have it all laid out about the specifics of everything we want because the universe just can’t know what we want or get us close to what we want if we aren’t specific. And this is where we would be wrong. Always, no matter what we want in life, we are looking for the feeling that whatever we are wanting, will provide. And the universe has more knowledge and more options to show us than we can ever imagine, that match how we want to feel in ANY situation. The universe isn’t limited in scope like we can be. And if you want to forget about the ‘universe’, then just go with your mind and how it works. Your mind always tries to find more of what you focus it on. And whatever you are saying and/or thinking in your head is what you are focused on. So if you keep focusing on all the ‘problems’ that seem inherent to starting over new, then that is what your mind will keep looking for…more of those problems. It certainly won’t and can’t be working on finding a solution because it can only really focus one way or the other. What is desired or what is not desired.

            Which ties in to me and where I am. I am now retired from a job that I was very unhappy at, and am just now starting to open up my mind to finding work again. And yes, I don’t want anything to do with what I did before, and yes I will have a large gap between jobs, and yes, I have no idea what I want to do. But I’m not worried about what the job is. Because after the fiasco of my previous job, I realize it didn’t matter what I was doing, it only mattered that all I could focus on was what I didn’t like. And amazingly enough, I just kept getting more of what I didn’t like, and so usually hated my job! So now I am looking at what I do want when I start working again. So let me give you what I am focused on.

            I do want to have fun, I do want to enjoy any co-workers I may have. I do want to be creative in my job. I do want a lot of autonomy. I do want a lot of freedom in my work hours. I do want to be excited about whatever I am doing. I do want to make a lot of money. I do want to really like my boss, if I have one. J I see myself laughing much, coming up with great ideas, having my ideas accepted and expanded on by others, and having my ideas translate easily into reality. I feel great every morning when I get out of bed, because I know exciting things are happening. I get excited about what I will be doing each day, and I get all giddy inside because I just know others are going to love what I do. I feel valid and useful and as if I am living my dream life while I am working, because they both are one and the same! All of this has nothing to do with a specific job and everything to do with how I want to feel. And every time I say any of these or read them, I feel ecstatic!!!

            Wish I could say that I just got my dream job by doing this, but I’m not there yet. Not that I care. As amazing as this is, even to me, I know that I will get everything I want. I see it every day and I just keep seeing more of what I want and how I want to feel!

          • Nay, please let me know when you get that job.

            I’m in a similar situation vibrationally: I’ve been focusing in feeling good about manifesting a job that would make me experience those feelings you listed. And I feel good and ecstatic when I think about it. My body actually shakes by the flow, I feel no limiting beliefs (I notice this now – while I focus, the limiting beliefs absence doesn’t even enter the scene).

            And yet… my reality hasn’t changed.

            Actually, I have had taunting accidents, like possibilities that come out of the blue, I feel good about it, I don’t fret, I tell myself I’ll be happy if they happen or not, and then they disappears. Like a said: taunting me.


            I’m starting to be a little annoyed with myself. If reality is a mirror of what I want, why do I do this to myself?

            I cannot detect any limiting beliefs, and this bothers me. It’s unfair that they must be so hidden.

            I don’t know what else to do.

            Since I’ve been taking responsibility for everything that has been my life, yes, I now don’t believe anymore that I was unlucky, but it was my thoughts that put me in those position.

            I truly believe I’ve been actually lucky in my life. Extremely lucky.

            And yet, my reality hasn’t changed.

            Yes, I now notice the good things, and I swear, I catch myself thinking positively. Even when I’m with my friends, I catch myself talking positively, to the point that they get annoyed because they want me to see the negative side of things and I don’t anymore.

            And yet, my reality hasn’t changed.

            I’m worried some negative beliefs must be hidden so well. But I tried and I tried and I can’t find nothing.

            What’s going on?

          • When I say “I notice the good things”, I’m actually talking about feeling sincerely and deeply grateful about everything I am and I have.

    • Hey Veronica,

      The post on how to find your purpose would apply best to the blank slate category: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/08/09/find-your-purpose-in-life-free-workbook/

      You know, it all depends on how those details feel to you. If going for the gold inspires you and makes you feel great, then go for it. If the details make you feel discouraged, then you have to go for a more general visualization.

      If you don’t know what you want, start off really generally and then slowly get more specific, as long as it feels good. When specifics start to feel bad, shift your perspective (I don’t want a crappy boss, ooh, let me visualize a cool boss!) so that it feels good, or get more general again (Don’t focus on the boss at all, just see yourself as happy). It’s a trial and error thing. But the most important aspect is always how it feels to you.

      I hope this answers your question. 🙂

      Huge hugs,


  • Melody, you must have been one seriously awesome manager to work for…

    I work for myself and have no employees, but I love the idea of focusing on what is going well with my endeavours, rather than on what isn’t going so well.

    Also, I wonder how much of this is transferable to parenting. Can you use any of this people management stuff on your kids, too? 🙂

    • Hey Nathalie,

      Thanks so much. I think I did alright… 🙂

      Yes, I think that parenting and managing people have a lot in common, actually. It’s about respecting others, valuing their point of view, communication and aligning with what you want…

      Huge hugs,


  • OMG I love this post – there is no other way to manage people except this way and it works………….the reason I know it works………because I do it. Until my coaching with Melody I’d forgotten to manage this way (because I was allowing things to get in my way so of course lots of things kept coming back to me and getting in my way – duh lol
    Putting it all back into my day now and I’m loving this part of my job again.

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