Awesome John asks: “I’m really starting to think that this whole LOA thing is nothing but a whole lot of crap – we are told on one hand that like attracts like and then on the other hand we are told that opposites attract, how the hell can the two be true? You can’t have it both ways, or can you? Is there something we aren’t being told, or do we just continue through life with our brains being frazzled by conflicting statements?
As an example: I am a very romantic person who is looking for love. I have so much it oozes out of me and I think about it all the time (because we are told what you think about the most you will attract), but now I’m told because I want it, I can’t have it, but if I didn’t want it, I could have it – now this type of statement completely blows my mind. If I don’t want it then I can have it, but if I do want it I can’t have it; bloody hell talk about brain torture !!
Am I missing the plot, or am I just one of the many millions of confused beings looking for something I can’t have unless I don’t want it??”
Dear Awesome John,
Fret not, my dahling. You haven’t lost the plot, you’ve just got a few things, well, twisty. And I’m certain you’re not alone, so I’m more than happy to serve as a de-twister of ideas, an unbuncher of panties, if you will, and bring some clarity into your world. So, make yourself a cup of tea (add a shot of whiskey if needed), wrap yourself in a cozy blankie, and let Auntie Mel make it all better, ok? 🙂
Let’s go through your statements one by one and unravel the ones that are causing all that trouble.
“Like attracts like”
This is the basis of the Law of Attraction. If you emanate a certain frequency, the Law of Attraction will bring you more “stuff” (ideas, thoughts, physical manifestations and yes, people) that matches that frequency. Go on and put a big old checkmark next to this one. It’s a keeper.
“Opposites attract”
Other than being the title of a snazzy song by Paula Abdul, there’s no truth to this at all. Sure, sure, you’ve heard it all your life, right along with a whole bunch of other BS statements that have been messing with your mind. Opposites don’t attract. It can sometimes seem like people who are quite different have attracted each other, but that doesn’t mean that they’re together because of their differences. This belief was created because someone observed people who were seemingly (emphasis on “seemingly”, since you can’t really see into other people’s vibrations) so different from each other that one might call them opposite, and incorrectly surmised that this is what must have brought them together. That’s a bit like saying that cereal exerts magnetic qualities over milk, since the two are so frequently seen together. This one gets a big old X, for X-tra bullshitty.
“You have to think about what you want all the time in order to get it”
You DO NOT have to think about what you want all the time in order to get it. In fact, you don’t have to think about it at all. You just can’t contradict what you want. The only reason I recommend visualizing what you want, EVER, is in order to help you attune to the frequency of what you want. Visualization is a tool; it merely serves to help us ferret out resistance (that stuff you’re doing to contradict what you want) and release it. If you can’t visualize what you want in a way that feels really good, you’ve got resistance. And, because it’s nearly impossible NOT to think about something you want, every time you do, you’re inadvertently thinking about it in a way that keeps it from happening. Visualizing helps us to fix that. But what you want doesn’t come to you because you thought about it enough! It comes to you because you finally let it in!
I suggest you read these posts:
- How to Visualize – The Secret to What Visualization Really Is
- Dear LOA: How Specific Should I Get In My Visualizations?
“You can only have what you don’t want”
Ah yes, an oldie but NOT a goodie. This total, blatant misconception about LOA has been floating around for ages, and no matter how often I explain it, it Just. Won’t. Freaking. Die. Let me take another whack at it.
You can have what you want. You can have anything you want. You don’t have to stop wanting it; in fact, that’s not possible. Once you want it, you want it. Period. Trying NOT to want it is just painful and serves no purpose whatsoever. Not only can you have what you want, you can have precisely what you want, and you don’t have to sacrifice anything in order to get it (another BS belief; just thought I’d throw in that extra bit of clarification for good measure).
So, why do people keep thinking that LOA teaches that in order to get what you want you have to stop wanting it? Because of the usually totally misunderstood concept of detachment. The easiest way to understand detachment is this: You can have what you want, but you can’t have what you NEED. If you need to get something in order to be happy, you cannot attract it. Because you’re vibrating: “I’m not happy NOW. I will be happy when I get this thing, but I’m not happy NOW.” And since the Universe can only respond to your NOW vibration, it has to keep mirroring back to you how you’re not happy NOW. You can’t get something that will make you happy if you’re not already happy.
Read these blog posts:
- Jagger Was Wrong: You Can Always Get What You Want. But You’ll Never Get What You Need
- Dear LOA: What Exactly Do We Have To “Let Go” Of, And Why?
Be happy anyway
But, how can you be happy if you don’t yet have that thing you so desperately want? Be happy anyway. Find other things in your life that already feel like happiness and focus on them. The Universe doesn’t know or care what it is you’ve focused upon in your reality that’s evoking that feeling from you. Hell, you can even just imagine it, if necessary. But, once you find that feeling, you are vibrating “I’m happy NOW”, which the Universe has to mirror back to you. So, loads of things that match the feeling of happiness come flooding into your reality.
You don’t have to stop wanting love. That’s a losing battle anyway, and if you’ve been trying to do that, it would explain why you’re so frustrated. But if you keep looking for love because you think it will change your life, because it will finally bring light into the dark corners of your reality and take you from lonely unhappiness to coupled up joy, you will have a long wait ahead of you.
My advice to you
My advice to you would be to appreciate love wherever you see it. Pay attention to how examples of love feel to you. When you see a young couple in l’amour, for example, does it make you rejoice in the beauty of love, or does it make you more aware of the fact that you don’t currently have a honey of your own? If it’s the second, you’ve just found resistance. This means that as you focused on love all day long, you’ve actually been vibrating “I’m not in love, damn it!” Well, do you see how that’s not going to work?
If you want to be in love, be in love. You don’t need another person in your life in order to feel love. You can love nature, beauty, experiences, everyone you see, life itself and yes, yourself. Is it easier to be in love when someone awesome and lovable comes into your life? Well yes, of course it is. But honestly, thinking that you can’t feel that way without this crutch is just lazy. 😉
Stay the course
When you get into the vibration of love, you’ll attract more of it into your life. This may start off as examples of other people in love. This is generally where most people lose the plot; they see these examples of love and wonder where the hell their own, personal love monkey is. They become acutely aware of the fact that they’re still single, instead of seeing these examples of love for what they are: signs that they’ve been doing it right. These are manifestations that match the way they’ve been feeling – manifestations that will get bigger and better (like, actual women coming into your life) if that frequency is held.
You could also back off and choose something else to focus on, something that already feels really good and will make it easy for you to feel good. Then, when thoughts of love and the lack thereof come up, just dismiss them and say to yourself: “She’s on her way. I’m not sure when or where she’ll come from, but she’s on her way. And the better I feel, the closer she’ll be, so I’m going to concentrate on feeling good, period.”
Bottom line
It’s good to want things. We humans are designed to want things. And, we’re designed to get them (which is why it feels so awful when we don’t). Misconceptions, false beliefs and bullshit observations have found their way into our “common knowledge”, and have been, quite frankly, messing up our manifestations for way too long. It’s time to stop that crap already and get everything that’s coming to us. We deserve to be happy, we deserve to be in love, we deserve to feel secure, free, carefree, playful, bouncy, worthy, giddy, and anything else we want to feel. And it’s really not nearly as hard as we keep making it. Honestly, if you could just find something that makes you happy already and focus all your attention on that, it wouldn’t take long at all for everything you’ve ever wanted to swoop right into your reality. All of the other techniques I offer here are only there because most people refuse to just do that and insist on being more involved in the process. And, because everyone can have what they want, they can even have that. 🙂
I hope this explanation has soothed your frazzled nerves (that, or the whiskey), and has restored your faith in LOA, or at least in the possibility that it’s not all a bunch of crap. Feel good, John. It really is as simple as that.
Thank you again for teaching me I have to be happy to attract more happy!
So we only need to be happy but dont we also need to release resistance? Does the universe already know and remember what we want then, if we dont necessarily need to use the tools to ask for things?
It all starts with being happy and appreciative. Believe me. Before anything else, these are key. Things start happening when at this higher vibration than being sad, where one is stagnant and not in a place for things to happen. So, don’t worry, be happy! There is all the wisdom you need! 🙂
This post would explain why the starving people will never get the food they need. It’s a need.
Whilst it is fun that the universe is so good with wants, it seems like it got the priorities a little backwards?
It also explains why most prayer is ineffective; and often shown in studies to somehow do more harm than good. This is because most people pray in a state of need, fear, or gratitude in a sort of god-fearing manner.
People in hospital often became worse from prayer because of the feeling of having something so “wrong” with them that now prayer is required! It gave off an air of: “you’re dying now” and the patient would decline.
Some people might feel gratitude, or that the gesture was well-intentioned, and sweet—but still decline!
“Effective prayer” is a clever use of semantics if you have someone open to religion but for whatever reason opposed to LOA (some fundamentalists see it as the devils work, or a form of conjuring) you can get them to involve visualization and focus on the desired outcome, rather than a desperate petition for help.
Just don’t call it “manifesting” as that is a term borrowed from the Druids and Pagans (some of the original LOA experts). Perhaps “meditating” would be more palatable to those types of people.
🙂
Now you may refer to me as “Veronica the Clever” if you really insist. 😉
http://hannahscupboard.com/prayer-tree2.html
“Desperate prayers are effective prayers.
The scripture in James 5:16 itself provides a key to effective prayer when it uses the word “fervent.” “The effective, FERVENT prayer of a righteous man avails much.” A prayer quote that I like very much says; “Our prayers must mean something to us if they are to mean anything to God.” Think of Hannah in the Old Testament. (See 1 Samuel 1:8-20) Hannah was barren and she was desperate to have a child. The scripture describes her as having bitterness of soul and of weeping in anguish. Her situation had been going on for years until she was so serious about her request that she made a very difficult vow to the Lord. She vowed that if God would give her a male child she would give him back to the Lord. The child would be put in God’s service for full time ministry for his entire life. The answer to Hannah’s prayer ended up being Samuel, one of the greatest prophetic voices in the Old Testament and the man who anointed Israel’s first kings.
The scripture is full of other examples of such desperate prayers. It is in desperation that God sees how serious we are about what we are asking. We find that out too. You can’t usually conjure up desperation. Some prayers grow more desperate over time and these are usually the ones that meet with the success that Hannah had. The desperate prayer pays a great price but produces a great pay off.”
Hmmmm, it also sounds like she made peace with God at this point in her asking and her bitterness of soul faded, as did her anguish, and she placed it all in God’s hands also displaying her love of God with that decision. At least this is what it appears to me and how I understand it. There is a point when this happens in the process, and the manifestation occurs as the next logical step. I have not yet read the site you posted, but I think that is part of the process.
Anguish and despair are the lowest points but yeah, you kind of display to God what is wanted in this way and the fact that you are serious about it. Still, they are the lowest states to be in. You feel like to have an anvil and the Gordian knot in your gut. But Clear and clean in soul- that is important.
http://youtu.be/cmYbvByhSIs
Here is something pertinent to this topic worth watching.
Hilarious! 🙂 “and her bitterness of soul faded”– the melodrama is a perfect parody of these obsessive religious types.
Thanks for that. First the poem, then some satire… brilliant. 🙂
I was just imagining the frumpy woman with coke-bottle glasses that plays the organ in “Edward Scissorhands” saying something like this about desperate prayer.
I enjoyed the video too—amazed by the story of the woman going from homeless to inspirational speaker—nice find! 🙂
Egads! came home and -yes this was a dry piece i posted-was tired and didn,t realize how unclear that would appear. Yes- Shaun- i heartily-agree- Melody -good as she always was just seems to get even better! really! you know, for me how the magnet thing about the “like” poles opposing each other -and the opposites charged/poles attracting each other -in seeming contrast with the law of attraction -which holds unerringly that “like attracts like” the way i,ve seen that is -to me -calling the two i.e positive poles of a magnet -the same is a misnomer- to me. as the two “same” poles either neg or positive -effectively are always -canceling each other out- so that there,s no “magnetic field between them- To me that “magnetic” field is the same as my “desire” remembering(thats the crux) that the same or like poles are in effect-dynamically not “like” at all -but opposing fields. So the “same” poles -are dynamically NOT the same -effectively. doe, (hopefully) that make sense and therefore favors comparison to loa principle(s)? thanks !
LOA is very real. I have been experiencing many small, good things just by getting happy again. I know there is a lot of hatred and bitterness out there, and the mind can drive us nuts with all thoughts. I realized small things are indicators that you are on the right path, inspire compassion in self and others and even inner peace due to this. They set us straight again, sort of re-calibrate us after we go askew and I am deeply grateful for them. Here is an appropriate poem:
The Cookie Thief by Valerie Cox
A woman was waiting
at the airport one night,
With several long hours
before her flight.
She hunted for a book
in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies
and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book,
but happened to see,
That the man beside her,
as bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two
from the bag between,
Which she tried to ignore
to avoid a scene.
She read, munched cookies,
and watched the clock,
As the gutsy “cookie thief”
diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated
as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice,
I’d blacken his eye!”
With each cookie she took,
he took one too.
When only one was left,
she wondered what he’d do.
With a smile on his face
and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie
and broke it in half.
He offered her half,
and he ate the other.
She snatched it from him
and thought, “Oh brother,
This guy has some nerve,
and he’s also so rude,
Why, he didn’t even show
any gratitude!”
She had never known
when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief
when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings
and headed for the gate,
Refusing to look at
the “thieving ingrate”.
She boarded the plane
and sank in her seat,
Then sought her book,
which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage,
she gasped with surprise.
There was her bag of cookies
in front of her eyes!
“If mine are here,”
she moaned with despair.
“Then the others were his
and he tried to share!”
Too late to apologize,
she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one,
the ingrate, the thief!!!
Awww! I was hoping he WAS the theif. I’d love some dashing, audacious man to come and share my cookies! How adorable! The nerve! It would be so cute if someone did that!
🙂
I would pretend to be ruffled, and get into a playful argument with him, before getting into a fit of giggles!
Hahaha! I know, that certainly would be the perfect flirtation! I actually thought they made out afterwards, but that was the cover to another story on the we page ;). Still, it is romantic though, and LOA in action! Glad you liked it.
Webpage
Earl, please tell me what you have writing above is not the simple version.
Another superb blog. Is it me or are you just getting better and better?
Hello- just wanted to chime in on the question of why magnets seem to behave in a way that,s not similar to the energetic way the loa works. in all fairness to anyone trying to ferret out a satisfactory answer to this- Today -physicist are still investigating the nature of charged particles- they,re still trying to find out if there,s asingle magnetic pole called a -monopole as well as the really intrinsic nature of the other -3- fundamental forces of our universe. they know that if all the electrons are not facing the same wayrepulsion occurs-even to the often seen -“polarity flipping” when opposing force,s are brought closer. if one looking in a mirror-raises their left hand -the reflection will show the right hand being raised. the two “similar” poles are conveniently labeled as such -but have lines of energetic flux flowing in opposite (facing each other) direction opposing each other. so i feel the two principles are complementary. these are just my feelings on this.
I forgot to add that, to date, the picture for this blog post is my favorite EVER!!!! It made me spit out my coffee, woman! 😀
Marjorie
Then my work here is done… 😉
Hi Melody,
Of course this post was right on time. As you know, I kinda have lots going on at home…I get stuck when I try to “work” on the different things that I want at different times and sometimes I feel like maybe I’m giving too much time to one thing then not to another and then I just end up being all confused and junk, questioning LOA and why it has to be so difficult.
I know that the thing to do is focusing on feeling good…that seems pretty effortless sometimes and happens naturally. It’s trying to move up the emotional ladder that can get tough sometimes and then when I do feel good, I start to wonder, “hmmm, which one of my desires is going to happen first?” I guess I get anxious. Not sure, but the good thing that I’ve learned is to be gentler with myself and know that I can’t really mess up. I also find myself constantly asking, is this resistance? Or what more resistance with regard to money is do I have?? I feel like I’ve released all of my resistance (or maybe it’s wishful thinking?) with that but nope, I really haven’t cuz if I had the money would be rolling in, wouldn’t it?
It just feels like work sometimes, especially when you have more than one thing you really want, so thank you for the reminder to lighten up and relax.
Marjorie
Hey Marjorie,
You’re so welcome. We all need that reminder from time to time. When get so relaxed and happy that you forget to check if something has shown up yet, then you’ve got it. 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
John,
You are SO funny! Thank you for asking this question!
Marjorie
Well , seeing as I asked the question I thought I should throw my hat in the ring.
A big Thank You and lotsa shiny puppy hugs to Melody – firstly for answering my lame question (although after reading all the comments posted it appears that many others have at one time or other wondered the same thing , which in a way vindicated me asking it) and secondly for being the wonderful person she is in answering lame questions.(I’m sure she must sit there sometimes wishing she was doing something else instead of babysitting us and “no” , I don’t expect you to answer that)
Now I need to clarify something , when I asked the question I was not in my normal positive frame of mind , I had just asked a lady out for coffee and a chat and she seemed excited about it but then when the day came that we had agreed to meet up on she suddenly texted me and came up with the lamest of excuses not to show and being my cool collective self I texted back “no worries , we’ll make it some other day” to which she replied via text “I’m not really a good person to chat with after work when I get to sit down”
I just sat there for a while looking at the text thinking how can a person go one minute from being interested in meeting up for a simple coffee and chat to the next minute not being interested – I just put it down to the games women like to play on guys and left it at that but after a while it just sorta got to me – hence my lame question.
Now as for my thinking that LOA is sometimes a bunch of crap it’s situations as above that makes me think that way sometimes and yes the part about you can have it when you don’t want/need it does rattle my cage , I mean to me want and need are the same thing – if you want something then you must need it or you wouldn’t want it and if you don’t want it then you don’t need it or if you don’t need it then you wouldn’t want it , so if you neither want or need it and it shows up in your life then what the hell do you do with it because you no longer want or need it. (I think I’m gunna have to meditate on that last bit , my brains now performing somersaults)
Thanks Melody for clarifying my question , so I’ll just finish off with a few of my favourite words ………. “Whatever , sweetheart whatever” – I wonder what being a tibetan monk would be like this time of year , no LOA , no women , no sex , no politics , no bills , God it sounds like heaven on earth nothing to do except sit on my chuff all day chanting “Om , Om , Om” – Help!! I thinking I’m going off the rails – life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’ll get until you try it.
Anyway Melsy , thanks for trying to clear my path to a blissful existence , if you’re ever in Tibet look me up , I’ll be the one dressed in the hippy gear , smoking some weed with a weird look on my face.
Hey John,
Here’s how the situation with the lady can happen: She was in a better frame of mind than usual, was feeling good, was vibing higher, and made a date with you. Then, she dropped back down to her normal, not so happy vibration, and she was no longer a match to, so she HAD TO back out. Incidentally, you wouldn’t have been all that attracted to her any more in that state. Basically, she did you a massive favor. Don’t blame yourself or LOA for that. Focus on attracting women to whom you’re more of a match, that’s all.
In terms of want and need. If you want Ice cream, do you need it to survive? Will your life go on without it? do you need it? No. But you want it. There’s a difference between really, really wanting something and decided that you will be miserable until you get it.
The Tibetan you sounds pretty cool… ha, ha.
Huge hugs,
Melody
Ice cream is a good example. 🙂
I was thinking about cars. You might need a car to get around (depending on where you live) but maybe you want a Mercedes and you have a Chevy.
You can still get around in the Chevy even though it would be so much more fun to drive a Mercedes.
Hi Melsy – well why didn’t you say that in the first place girl , treat everything in life as if it were ice cream , do I need it to survive in life NO , do I want it cause it tastes great , you betcha – love it. It’s really simple when I look at it in that context. Yay !!! I thank you , my aching heart thanks you but most of all my little butt thanks you , he was worried I’d take up the tibetan thingy and be sitting on him all day , had visions of callouses and pain but now has visions of dancing down the street eating ice cream determining what he wants against what he needs.
Hi Melody:
I am truly grateful for you and your website. I am normally a shiny person when it comes to love and happy for those who are in love and all that jazz; however, I fell in love with a man who is unhappily married and I thought that he was divorced and (for the record (i) no, we didn’t have a sexual affair, (ii) I won’t deny that there was an emotional affair going on between us, (ii) everything ended badly and we are no longer speaking, which kills me because we had a genuine friendship and I miss him, and (iv) married men are a huge NO NO NO for me) and I’m really trying to get over him, but it has been so hard because I can’t stop thinking about him and torturing myself. Unfortunately, I have turned into somewhat of a bitter person and find myself happy when I hear about couples breaking up or getting divorced, which I hate to be like and I’m trying to snap out of it because I know it’s not serving me, but I’m finding it so difficult and having been praying for a distraction or as you’ve said in other posts “this or someone better”. Then 3 weeks ago, I go to a “newish” chiropractor (I saw him once last summer & decided to go back to him) and we are hitting it off talking about spirituality and common interests. Well, 3 visits in, he runs his fingers through my hair, then pushes my hair out of my face and I was like “UHHH, HELLOOOO-YES AND PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN!” Finally, a cute distraction. During my last visit, I told him he was so cute and he said “and you are so sweet…are you really this sweet or are you going to change on me?”…so I grew a set (which is hard to do when you don’t anatomically have an external set) and I asked him if he was interested in meeting me for coffee and he said, “so we can chat longer…yes, we can do that”…and I was elated because my mind was finally off of the other guy and along with a new set, I also felt hope and love creeping back into my being. Until…I looked him up on Facebook and it appears that he has a girlfriend…and she’s a hot model (seriously)….so [insert ACME bomb here]…my heart just went SPLAT. I am not hot by society’s standards and I am fat, so it took me some major cajones to ask him for coffee, which is a whole other issue with respect to my feeling unworthy, so I digress. Now here’s the thing, I tend to fall for men who are unavailable or not really interested in me but flirt with me unabashedly and more specifically I’ve noticed a larger pattern that a lot of them turn out to be in “relationships that basically are on the rocks” (or broken up, but not really not broken up or disconnected and/or ready to bolt). I have been working on myself to clear up these issues and was really hoping that this one would be different, but here I am crushing on someone who unbeknownst to me is in a relationship. I can’t figure out how to stop the pattern…the more I try…the more I get the same. What am I doing wrong and missing? I am so frustrated with myself that I’m really more like an old, cranky, arthritic, dog who has a toothache and can’t eat. Blech! I should probably just schedule a coaching call with you.
Big thanks and cranky (with a glimmer of shiny) hugs,
Elizabeth
Hey Elizabeth,
Yep, you’ve definitely got a pattern going there. When you attract men who are basically unavailable in some way, it’s a sign of resistance. But, it’s great that you are attracting men whom you’re attracted to, and who have a lot going for them. Don’t just focus on the negatives, look at what good stuff you’re already a match to. It would take a conversation to pinpoint what the belief is that’s manifesting here. Perhaps you don’t think you’re good enough for the men you’re attracted to (although, they clearly don’t seem to think so), causing you to look for men who have something wrong with them, are wounded, emotionally not quite up to snuff, or taken. Or, maybe you have some twisted beliefs about men and their integrity, that they will always end up hurting you, or that the kind of relationship you want isn’t possible. Or, a combination of several of those. 🙂
Sending you huge smooshy puppy hugs,
Melody
Thanks, Melody. I bit the bullet and set up a coaching call with you so we’ll be chatting in the next couple of weeks. 🙂
I’m really glad that I found your blog almost 2 years ago. In my opinion, you are the best coach in teaching LOA. Thanks a million Melody.. Since I subscribes to your newsletter…my life has change dramatically.
Hey Arnold!
Thanks so very much for this wonderful feedback! I’m so very, very glad this blog has helped you. And thanks so much for your kind words. I’m all blushy now. 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
Love the Pug…so cute:)
I must admit I was beginning to waver on the LOA thing. Sometimes I believe and sometimes I don’t.
But then I remember there are other laws of the universe that must work with the law of attraction. They all must work together…in my experience. Stuff doesn’t just appear because we want it.
One thing I’m still confused about is actual magnets…with magnets, opposites do indeed attract. I know we’re not magnets (per se) but magnets are of the universe…so why is it true for them and not for people?
Hey Laura,
That’s a really good question, one I don’t readily have an answer to. I have some inklings, but don’t have the technical knowledge to communicate it. I’ll have to do a bit more research on this first. But I will, since I want to know the answer, too. 🙂
Stay tuned!
Huge hugs,
Melody
So cool. It’s been a quagmire for me for eons. Well, maybe not that long but ever since it occurred to me when I first started learning about universal laws.
I have done a little google searching myself on it but never found anything satisfactory to me.
I am looking forward to reading your answer and finding out what you learn.
Hugs back.
Laura
Ok, I freaking LOVE this post!! What great clarification and reminder of how LOA works! It’ll be a great reminder for me when I “fall off the wagon” from time to time.
Thanks so much, Melody!
Hey Lucy,
Thanks so much. The LOA wagon. Oooh, how fun would that be? Roadtrip!! Ha.
Smooshy hugs,
Melody
You- definitely are my favorite- As -Nay- say,s so well- among other point,s aspects related to -loa-THIS point has even up to the minutes before reading this particular blog-always has been a bane– namely, the often intense welling up of envy, even, anger and “frustrating” feelings, when i see others having/getting what i,ve been wanting. this reminder about when these manifestations are seen . how that,s an indication of how one is -indeed- on “the right track” Now i remember reading on a post several years ago – how “these” (seeing other people enjoying the things/conditions you want) appearance,s are the initial ‘inklings” indicating one,s “closer” aligning” to the evolving/growing into “physicality” i.e the wish/desire in it,s incipient form coming into fruition. melody i as so many other,s attest to-you have a unique gift–the time and quality and indeed-“earthiness” of your pointers/explanations are so precious and plain helpful. i also love that pug-nosed doggies antics.pose,s. truly adorable. you are gold- indeed!! luv & continued success -bless you!!
Hey Earl,
Glad to see your comments again! 🙂
And thank you so much for your kind words of support. I’m so glad this blog is helpful to you. *blush*
Huge smooshy puppy hugs,
Melody
Heya Melody!!!
Great reminder and clarification! And it did remind me, along with a few of the comments, that when I see things that relate to my desires, those are manifestations and mean I’m in the flow. Sometimes I forget that! But of course, now I’m back on track, and paying attention!
Nay
I respect both perspective,s from Nay and Laura–I , oh so many uncountable times throughout my life keep overlooking how inconceivably vast life,s banquet actually is-if i “take” and adhere/believe in the view on this subject that -Nay does and evidently Melody also -hey, effectivly THAT will unfold -literally ‘work”as it doe,s for me -over and over as long as i don,t “default” to ‘rote” semi-unconcious reactive mode..this despite my frequent (but significantly diminishing incredulity) relapsing back. if i resonate with a differing perspective-THATS- the effective reality experienced. best blessings!
Thanks Earl,
I see both perspectives too, but I’m doing a lot to make sure my persepctive is on the positive side, so kinda just ignored the other side of it. He he.
And yes, I WANT to resonate with the most positive perspective I can. That makes so much sense when I allow it to! 🙂
Nay
Thanks Nay! We’re conditioned to see things in a negative light. It takes a bit of time to turn that around. But oooh, what fun when we do! Wouldn’t you miss the whoosh you get every time you remember again? 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
Awesome post Melody! I am an LOA newbie and still learning the ropes. I was introduced to LOA through your blog (huge thank you!!!!!) about a month back. It all seems too simple but when I try to implement it, I find myself going strong for sometime and then slipping into the old ways. So yeah simple but not easily done. I am slowly trying to integrate it as much as I can allow without pushing too much. Overwriting old beliefs is so damn hard! But thanks for your blogs. They always help 🙂
Lots of love
Hey Vini,
You’re so welcome! It is simple but not easy. Be gentle with yourself. You’re breaking some pretty ingrained habits and that does take a bit of time and practice. Don’t force it. That doesn’t speed anything up, it just makes it more painful. Look for the fun in everything (see comment above yours). And don’t forget to enjoy the ride! 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
I’m right with you Vini…. Lets keep up the good work…:)
Thanks Melody….You are toooo good…:)
Love n hugs.
I think what makes you and this site so very special, Melody, is that you have taken LOA and made it such pure fun! I mean, LOA should be fun — it should make us feel good & happy & filled with delight & excitement & laughter, but truth is, a lot of the “usual suspects” in this field are SO damned serious. For instance, I find Esther Hicks’ Abe material is full of truths and facts and how-tos, but I’ve been reading it for years and have gotten surprisingly little out of it because it is SO serious and “technical” (for lack of a better word) and humorless. Rarely do I read anything by Abe and feel really, really good afterward. At best, I nod and think, okay, that was interesting; at worst I feel frustrated at not understanding what they’re getting at, and anxious that I’m “doing it wrong”.
It was only a couple of years ago when I started reading you & a couple of other “fun” gurus (and interestingly enough, you all swear like long-haul truckers . . . a little like me) that the light started to come on and my LOA manifesting kicked into gear. It amazes and delights me daily. It catches me by surprise daily, too. This afternoon I realized with some shock that I had somehow or another manifested an extra $2600 this month just out of odds & ends & dibs & dabs. I was floored! Why, I have no idea, because I’ve been purposefully working on manifesting more $ — why would it surprise me when it works? LOL!
It’s in the fun. When I focus deliberately on finding the delight in something — and it can be the simplest thing — everything shifts. My entire body feels different, I move differently, I laugh more, I look at things that used to freak me out and instead shrug and say, “so what, life’s good and getting better!”. And damned if it doesn’t! And yes, it can be hard sometimes. And yes, I do have to keep working at it, reminding myself in each moment (it sometimes seems) that life is meant to be easeful (although not always easy, admittedly) and smooth-flowing & that it’s perfectly okay for me to have what I want. Thanks, Melody!
Hey Susanne,
thanks so much for your wonderful feedback. It’s so interesting how you see Abe’s material. I find them really funny. But of course, there are so many teachers because everyone resonates with different styles. I seem to have found my people: Smart, driven intellectuals who like a blunt, no bullshit approach and don’t mind (or even really appreciate) the odd bit of cursing (the thing, incidentally, that I get the most flack for… Ha.)
You’ve discovered the perfect formula: just look for the fun in everything! You can’t go wrong that way, life gets way better and your vibration will raise. I can’t think of a way to make it simpler than that! 🙂
Huge smooshy hugs,
Melody
Hey Susanne,
Loved your post and found it so interesting about your experience with Abe. Have you watched any of the videos? I find that when I listen to Esther I’m laughing AND feeling so great by the end. Perhaps it’s that I’m listening and not reading the material? I just go on You Tube and it’s usually one of the “rampages” that can really shift my mood and raise my vibration….shoot, I think I’ll go listen to one now! LOL
Hugs,
Marjorie
I have recently realized that I have one area in my life where I actually see that when I concentrate on what I want, I don’t get it.
I find money nearly every day. Usually it’s just a coin, but occasionally it’s paper. I have noticed that I’m always surprised when I find the money. I have even found money in a spot that I had passed in the previous few minutes without seeing the money. Sometimes I get to thinking, “Well, I haven’t found any money yet today,” and then I catch myself scanning the ground. But I never find the money when I’m looking for it, it’s always a surprise.
Hey Donna,
So, it seems that when you’re looking for it, you’re somehow contradicting the flow of money. And when you relax and just forget about it, the flow starts again. 🙂 Kind of a good advertisement to just relax about everything, isn’t it? 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
What a great and confident responce, Melody. Well, as always.
I am actually really glad that someone has asked such a general question, because this stuff can get very confusing sometimes, and the more confusing it gets-the more confusing it gets, and then you get scared and call it all bullshit because you don’t know what to think anymore.
I think that we all get confused and lack of clarity probably visits everyone once in a while. There are people who know nothing about LOA and yet manage to be happy all the damn time and have great lives, because they constantly focus on great things and their flow is just unstoppable. there is another kind of people who dont know anything about LOA and they are waaay for from manifesting anything they want, and that’s sad, although we all know that it doesn’t really matter from the larger perspective, just from our physical one. And there are people who somehow learn LOA and manifest everything they want right away, while others have a hard time and bit by bit crawl to the things they desire.
It’s all about right now, and from that larger perspective it really doesn’t even matter if you live happily your whole life or you live in misery because you still expend the hell out of the Universe either way. But we want to be happy and WE want to have things that we want and we want them now.
I recently had a few realizations that actually made me cry ( which happens all the time) that there is no right or wrong answer, we are just HERE. And I know that if happiness is your desire and you know you deserve to be happy- sooner or later you get there. One day you have a realization that tips the scale, and everyone of us has their own. There is no need to get all up in this business and get all scientific ( it of course doesn’t hurt usually) to be happy, simplicity is the way of nature. Just live right now
Hey Arina,
Isn’t it mind blowing how much explanation one has to offer in order to explain just how simple this really is? LOL. I write thousands of words each week and speak hundreds of thousands of words each week, trying to do just that. The main message can generally be boiled down to: chill out, relax, get happy and look forward to more happiness. Let everything else go. It doesn’t matter.
My work here is done. 🙂
Smooshy hugs,
Melody
Loved your post Arina, it really resonated with me and got me all excited! Thanks!
Marjorie
Melody,
That is so very true! Haha. But you know, there are two sides of the equation and sooner or later we see that we get to decide which way we want to go from the “=”. 🙂
You’re pure awesomness.
Marjorie, I am so very happy that it made you feel this way!!! We might be on to something here then! Keep on rocking =D
So, if you’re trying to get pregnant, or suspect you might be, and you keep seeing pregnant women, babies, and more and more synchronistic baby-related things, then that means that your vibration is on the right path, right? Because they are all manifestations?
Hey Jen,
In a word, yes. If you are manifesting these things, it IS a great thing and is a definite sign that you are on the right track. But, if you see them and think with terrible saddness, ‘Why can’t that be me!’ then you start to slide backwards. 🙂 So keep on manifesting these awesome and happy events!
Nay
Sorry Nay-
I am going to disagree with you. 🙂
I think when someone wants to be pregnant or thinks they are, it pretty much takes up every cell in their brain. So it’s continually in the consciousness. Therefore babies, pregnant women, commercials for pregnancy tests will be more noticed…no matter the emotion behind this desire.
It’s not necessarily true that the TV is running more pregnancy test commercials than usual. It’s just that when you’re not preoccupied with being pregnant you don’t notice it as much because it’s not on your mind.
Using myself as an example, I’ve had my own pregnancy scares in my past. I call them scares because I never wanted to be pregnant. But it was all I could think about until I finally got my cycle. But during the time I was worried, I noticed more pregnancy related stuff than I had noticed when I wasn’t worried.
And guess what! After all the supposed synchronistic stuff I saw like DNA test commercials, what I thought was more pregnant women than usual, hearing babies cry from a neighbor’s home, and all the worrying I did, I was NOT pregnant. (Sigh of relief.)
So no, not always the case.
Just my two pennies.
So True Laura!
Like Melody said, once your mind latches onto something it starts seeing it all the time if that’s your primary focus, even if it is a focus based on fear. My comment was obviously missing that part of it!!! But then I’m still have much learning in this LOA! 🙂
Hey Jen,
It depends on how you feel when you see babies. And guess what, you get to choose how you want to feel. If it feels good to you when you see those babies and mommies, then yes, you’re very much aligned with what you want. If not, shift your perspective.
As Laura says, seeing an increase in babies in your reality can simply be due to an increase in focus on the subject (which, um, is still a manifestation). If you’re afraid of getting pregnant, those preggos will show up as a mirror to that fear. If you want to get pregnant, the babies will show up either to show you that you’re on your way, or to help you realize an insecurity which you need to clear before you’ll be on your way. Either way, it’s all about feeling good, noticing when you don’t, and shifting. 🙂
I hope that all made sense.
Huge hugs,
Melody
Yes nice article. I like to make the distinction between “musts” and “preferences”. If you believe that you really must have something that, in my experience, mucks up your ability to enjoy what life is offering here and now, with or without the object of your desire. If you simply prefer to receive what you want this seems to take the pressure off of the situation and makes you more open to receiving it.
Hey Michael,
Great distinction. I totally agree. 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
I like how simple it is. LOA teachers makes things way to complicated. Don’t do this, do that, feel like this or that blah blah blah. BS. I am myself and I will feel the way I want to. Period. I think that the basic is to set my mind on what I want, it is pretty easy when I want something really strongly, ask God for it and trust Him. The rest will just happen. Everything is in the process what happens after that. And than one day I have got it. God said ask and you shall receive and that is my foundation, it will come no matter what, God doesn’t lie. Every event afterwards, good or bad, pleasant or not is the process. Very simple, to the point, everything is allowed, there is nothing I can do wrong, not possible. I don’t like how complicated LOA seems to be, it is not. It is natural, it is in us we can do this without teachers (sorry Melody) or books, we don’t need that, it is in our blood stream. Over thinking and over doing is no good, it feels bad and frustrating. Keep it simple.
Lots of Love
Anya
Hey Anya,
You’re totally right. We don’t need teachers. The knowledge is inside us. But, it can be helpful to have someone remind you of that knowledge, lol. But if someone does, it’s only because you manifested it through them (they were a willing participant in your creation). We do this because we like to play together, not because we have to.
The process of manifesting and awakening and evolution is a powerful one that doesn’t need our help. In fact, we just have to get out of the freaking way, that’s about it. the biggest issue with this process is its simplicity. We just want to make it harder than it is. But it really is that simple, elegant and perfect. It’s easy to apply once we stop fighting it. 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
Thanks for the clarification, Miss Melody! And thanks to Awesome John for asking the question! You must have been reading my mind, ha! Now let’s all do the happy dance and “c’mon get happeee!”!
Right on Denise! Dancing right beside you! 🙂
Huge hugs,
Melody
I found my wife when I stopped looking for her. But yes, it’s all crap. We know one person can’t change anything (Martin Luther King, Gandhi); we know you can’t rise to the top (Zuckerman); we know money means everything; we know the government is the cause of all of our problems (we the people); we know we can’t stand against big corporations; we know we are all sinners, condemned to suffer, so why bother; we know life sucks then you die; we know our lives are controlled by the fates so just find a cave and hide, etc. Looking, wanting, seeking, trying …, and he said, why do these workers toil in the fields, can’t they see that it is already white with harvest? Perhaps it’s time to change the channel if the movie sucks.
Nice one Philip! Enjoying the sarcasm here today, lol!
Huge hugs,
Melody
Yes, Melody, I was actually just thinking about this one yesterday! There is nothing good about misery and nothing comes from it but trouble. I have learned this first-hand through many experiences outside the vortex, which is the happy for being alive and in love with life state. I have also read many biographies and spoken with a lot of people, wishing to find out the secret of successful people and I drew this very conclusion- they were happy no matter what. If they were fired, offended by lovers, or whatever, it did not phase them! They just continued in their state with a “whatever” attitude and focused on their bliss and moved on, rather than dwelling on the thing and regretting it. That is the secret.
To attract the person you want- just be happy! This is how I married my husband. He stood out from the other miserable guys even I could not make truly happy, even though they said with me, they would be happy.
Of course, in theory all is simple, but in practice, it is tough. This is what I wonder about. Why is it so tough? What is that gut feeling of “evil” that exists, making us miserable? I listened to Abe yesterday describing it as the condemnation of self. You go against your inner being, and it feels shitty. But why do we do this? Why do we find ourselves in such states if our natural state is the happy-go-lucky one? I know that focusing on this true, latter state is the way to go.
Hey A.,
Well, I think the biggest reason we go for suffering and pain instead of joy is because we convinced ourselves along the way that doing so would lead to a bigger pay off down the line. We’re willing to suffer for that pay off. And everyone bought into it to the degree that no one ever thought to try and just go for joy. We celebrate the struggle in our culture. No one wants to see a movie where the protagonist figures out what he wants, attunes with it and just gets it. We want to see him fail a bunch of times first. We want the drama! If you haven’t suffered enough, you don’t deserve to be happy! That’s just the price you have to pay…
Now, we’re waking up to a very different way of thinking. Why suffer so that you can perhaps one day find joy? Why not just go for joy? Imagine that! 😛
Huge hugs,
Melody
Wow you know, I have to say I didn’t know I was battling the same kind of thought pattern as this question but as I read it it became clear I was. You’re right, for once, and I’ve been studying LOA for a while, have the books, the downloads blah blah blah, for once it freaking makes sense! Thank you thank you thank you. NOW I understand everything! Why can’t everyone else explain it so simply? The whole ‘don’t attach to the outcome’ never made sense, I mean the outcome is what you want but now I understand what that means. And I am gonna try raise my happiness vibration every day bit by bit!
Really awesome post. I’m going to bookmark it and read it every morning to start my day with.
Libie
Hey there Libie,
Thanks so much for the awesome feedback! I’m so glad this post really hit home with you. 🙂
Happy shiny puppy hugs,
Melody
What a fun post!
Going forward, whenever I hear “the law of attraction just doesn’t work”, I will point them at this post.
As you say there are so many misconceptions “out there” that it’s a wonder that anyone still understands. We have become so enamored with instant gratification that if what you desire doesn’t instantly appear, the method is at fault. Balderdash!!!
Hey Dick,
Impatience is one of the biggest hurdles I tackle with my clients. The thing is, if we’re willing to move incrementally (which is not the same thing as slowly) and fine tune as we go, we actually get what we want WAY faster than if we keep trying to use quick fix methods that ultimately don’t work.
Sending you huge smooshy hugs,
Melody
Loved this post. Awesome question, and as always, amazingly simplistic answers. It’s good to have ‘reassurance’ posts like this every now and then to strengthen the basis of our understanding of the LOA.
This piece really resonated with me. Sometimes LOA and just “wanting” can get confusing, to say the least.
I think the point to remember most is that “happiness” is elusive as long as you think it’s a destination. Most people, myself included, tend to forget that the age-old “I’ll be happy once I have this” is such a destructive, contradicting belief especially when it comes to LOA. Like Melody said, if you keep waiting to be happy, you’ll always be waiting to be happy. There is no Destination Happiness. It’s an ongoing way of life. The trick is to know what you want, and then let it fly. Be happy right where you are. It’s easier said than done, sure, but it isn’t impossible.
If you’re always waiting for someone or something to “complete” you, then you’ll always feel incomplete. It’s a difficult paradox to get over. And the mind is a difficult beast to master because it has been conditioned to regret the past and worry about the future. But if you can release false-beliefs about having insufficient time to “live” and give in (different from surrender) to the current moment, it’s a kind of liberation unparalleled to anything else.
There’s a whole world out there offering us safe ways to be really happy. Pick something. Keep wanting, not waiting. Enjoy everything. Soon you’ll have that thing you wanted, and you’ll realize that you never really needed it / them to be happy.
Thanks for the post, Melody. Awesome read! 🙂
Thanks so much for adding your awesome perspective here, Derrek!
West Side Story style snapping fingers while crouching dance,
Melody
I want to drink a coffee. Can I go to the kitchen, grab a spoon and an empty cup and then mix the ingredients with water or should I fix my mindset first?
If my teacher allows me to drink that coffee, my digestive system might become very active and I might need to use the bathroom for a while. Should I run when I feel the urge or should I convince myself first that I don’t need to use the toilet?
Some people who will read this comment might feel offended, since they will have to guess if my style is aggressive and sarcastic or I am a complete idiot. Should I spend the rest of my day worrying what they might say, or should I let LOA do it’s magic? No, I will worry for the rest of the day so I can witness their worst responses. I’m curious to see how they think so I can return to my unconscious thinking again. If I stay conscious for a bit longer, I might see happy people and I don’t know how to have fun with them.
LOL Tony. No, no, you’re right. We wouldn’t want you mingling with the happy people. You go on and stay in the Happy Shiny Puppy closet. 😉
Smooshy hugs,
Melody