In the post Can I Actually Manifest Positives While Thinking Negatively?, I explained that you are always moving towards what you want, even if you’re not aware of it (or if it seems like the opposite is happening). I illustrated that as you line up with what you want, you move towards it, and any resistance you have against your goal will start to pop up and smack you in the face so that you can become aware of it, shift if out of the way and keep on moving forward. This is essentially the main pillar of all this Law of Attraction work.
Supporting the process
Any healing method that’s going to work has to respect this natural, Universal process, and everything I do in my coaching practice is geared towards simply supporting my clients through it. I don’t need to reach in and rip anyone’s resistance from them (can’t do that anyway, no matter how much you beg me). No one can heal you until you’re ready to manifest healing. What I can do is help people to line up with the frequency of what they want and then assist them in shifting the resistance that floats to the top out of the way. My coaching sessions are simply the start of the process – we figure out what the client REALLY wants, focus on it together (I add my energy to theirs to help support them and speed up the process), and then kind of just wait and see what pops up. Yes, seriously. If the resistance comes up during the coaching session, I can help to identify it and shift it well before it manifests into something bigger, but often, one hour isn’t enough for all the resistance to surface. And so, we wait.
At the end of most coaching calls, I prepare my clients for what they might experience. These are general instructions, since everyone is different, but basically, it comes down to allowing whatever emotions may come to do so. If they need to cry, they should cry. If they get angry, they can journal or punch a pillow. If they get really tired, they should take a nap. We have to allow ourselves to feel these emotions, even indulge them a bit, and whatever we do, we can’t squash them. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. It’s important not to judge these emotions or even try to interpret them in that moment. We can do that later. But this isn’t an intellectual journey. It’s an emotional one. And that’s the bit that makes most people so uncomfortable – they like to use their minds to dissect what’s going on and solve problems. Allowing feelings is completely new territory for many people and new territory tends to be scary.
I also assure my clients that, although they can expect some emotions to come up, and that they may even be somewhat volatile (in the case of an anger release, for example), that they don’t have to worry that they’ll suddenly burst into tears during an important business meeting. They are working with their higher selves here, and YOU know what you want and don’t want. If breaking down at your desk would be detrimental to you, YOU will know it and won’t let that happen. There’s far more orchestration and support available to you than you may realize.
So, no, you’re not going to have a massive attack of emotions during the most inconvenient moments of your life. Except… here’s the thing: Most of us aren’t very good at judging when a convenient time would be. If asked, many of us would say that NO time is a good time to have a little mini-breakdown. If you’re constantly busy with work and kids and PTA meetings and other stress, convenient is usurped by possible. And this method of distraction could very well be one of the main reasons your negative manifestations have had to become bigger and bigger. If your life is whooshing by you at rocket speed, you simply won’t have time to notice when things feel a bit off.
So, while your emotional releases won’t hit you at the MOST inconvenient times, they will hit you at times that you think are rather inconvenient and maybe even impossible, but which really aren’t. Let me give you an example from my own life.
One of my biggest goals for 2013 is to learn the language of the body (how to communicate with our physical bodies so we can work together to manifest health, weight loss, etc. easily). Because I’ve set this goal and am doing all I can to line up with it, all kinds of obstacles have been popping up. When I was 5, I ran head first into the corner of a cabinet while I was playing. I sustained a superficial head injury, but needed stitches. According to my mom, the hospital staff were just horrendously rude because they’d been called in on a Sunday, and wouldn’t even let her in the room with me to hold my hand while they stitched up my head. It was an incredibly traumatic and terrifying incident for me, and I had intermittent nightmares for years afterwards. As an adult, I didn’t give it another thought. I figured I’d processed the trauma along the way, and psychologically, I had. I wasn’t afraid of doctors or hospitals, the nightmares were long gone and I was even able to feel compassion for the staff that Sunday night. What I hadn’t counted on was the fact that my body still remembered the incident and the memory not only served as a bit of resistance, but also made for a perfect demonstration of an aspect of how our physical bodies are connected to our emotions and minds. I was sitting at my PC writing one afternoon when I felt a sharp pain at the top of my head where the old scar is. I was then overcome by a deep sadness, almost like grief. After crying for a bit, I suddenly felt a lot better. It wasn’t until after I stopped crying that I received the clarity of what this emotional release was about. I just had to let it happen. My body had to release the trauma it had sustained. Interestingly enough, before this incident, I would often have some discomfort (not really pain, just kind of an annoying twinge) in that scar. Since that release, I haven’t felt a damn thing up there (insert joke here).
Due to the nature of my work and the fact that I’m really, really ambitious in my focusing, I have releases like this all the time. Now, here’s the thing: I squoosh all my coaching appointments into three days a week. The rest of the week, I write, answer emails, take care of admin work, run my errands, clean the house and even manage to take a day off. If I were to have a release during one of my coaching days, this would be a very, very bad thing. I can’t raise myself to a high vibration if I’m in the middle of a crying jag. So, coaching days are off limits. My other days are generally jam packed as well, so if one were too look at my weekly schedule, one might conclude that I simply don’t have the time to have an emotional release. The Universe, however, knows better. The plans on my “flexible” days routinely get completely thrown out the window due to emotional upheaval. Somehow, I still manage to get everything done (inspired action and loads of orchestrating by the Universe). For example, I might have someone cancel an appointment just in time for me to be overcome by fatigue so severe that I have to take a
siesta nap (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it).
You have to make time for growth
Here’s my point: Meditating and visualizing are fantastic tools, but they’re not enough. The main reason that we’re so disconnected from who we really are, is because we’ve been taught not to pay attention to our emotions and to do our best to suppress them. When we get in touch with our emotions, they begin to emerge. Stuck emotions (another way to see resistance) have to come out. They have to be felt. And if they’ve been suppressed for a long time, they might come out with a bit of force. This isn’t always going to be convenient. The Universe, or your higher self, knows that there are times when you simply cannot have such a release. Going to the grocery store, running errands, doing paperwork, or even going to dinner are NOT such times. Your life will not fall apart if you have to postpone or even cancel some of these activities. And so, your normal, everyday routine may well be interrupted by emotional releases.
If you don’t make time for your emotions, you cannot become self-aware. If you live your life in a foggy blur of, let’s face it, mostly meaningless activities, you cannot truly find happiness. You have to make room for growth. You have to be willing to shake up your schedule a bit. You have to allow time for the emotions to come. If you’re consistently too busy to pay attention to how you feel, you will never realize your greatest potential.
The good news is that the Universe won’t fall for your bullshit. If you’re focusing on manifesting the love of your life, but think “I simply cannot spare three hours to cry over how my dad abandoned me when I was three, (even though that release would allow me to trust men again and is a pre-requisite to me manifesting the awesome relationship I want)”, the Universe will show you that you do, indeed, have a three hour window. It will just miraculously reconfigure your schedule. The trick, of course, is to be flexible enough not to freak out about the rearrangement. Honestly, it’s amazing how crap just seems to work out. In fact, the new schedule often works out even better than the old one. This is because the Universe is way better at this crap than we are.
If you can remember that EVERYTHING that happens in your reality is happening on your behalf and for your benefit, it becomes a lot easier to trust that having to cancel an important meeting due to an emotional release will, in fact, work out just fine. I’ve never suffered negative consequences due to this kind of schedule change. In fact, it often works out better for both parties. There’s absolutely no reason to fear having these shifts, even if the emotions can be uncomfortable for a bit. There are, however, LOADS of reasons to allow these feelings to come up. This is part of the Universal Process that brings you to happiness, that place where everything you’ve ever wanted manifests into your reality easily and with perfect timing. I’d say that’s worth a bit of inconvenience. Wouldn’t you?
Have you been inconvenienced by an emotional release? Did the Universe help you orchestrate an alternative schedule? Are you willing to put up with a bit of chaos for the sake of happiness? Share in the comments!
Emotions, especially the negative ones can be very convenient. But this is what’s keeping us alive and prove we’re still humans.
Hello Melody – firstly, thank you so much for your blog. Not only for all the information you so freely put out there, but more importantly for me, when having one of those days, is that the way you write just makes me smile.
I have a question tho that i think has something to do with releasing. When i am meditating to some really chill music and am feeling total and complete inner peace, tears roll down my cheeks. These aren’t tears of happiness i don’t think. They just happen. Any thoughts? Thanks.
Tears are a sign of releasing energy, Emilio. Let it happen and enjoy the process (crying can feel good). You don’t have to be in happiness to experience these, you’re just shifting upwards from wherever you are. 🙂
Yes, Melody, emotions can be inconvenient, especially when they grip you in church, the grocery story or the post office (my regular haunts!) Thank goodness for the privacy of one’s home.
I’m willing to go through the fire to reach the shore. Yes, I am.
It’s peaceful on the shore!
I just now realised how important circumstances around something that happens are. I experienced almost the same as you did when I was 4 years old, only the things surrounding it were totally different. I was staying at my aunt and uncle’s house because my mother was at the hospital at the time and I was walking down the stairs from their living quarters to their store with a balloon in my hand. I stepped on it and took a nose dive, landing with my head on the corner of the counter. Of course blood and panic everywhere and my aunt was frantic and rushed me to the hospital. Imagine something like that happening to somebody else’s kid while she is in your care. At the hospital everybody was extremely nice and they calmed down my aunt who seemed to be more upset than I was somehow. They gave me immediately something for the pain, so I would feel nothing of the stitching and kept talking to me to judge if there were more injuries. No scans yet just after World War II. The calm atmosphere and the way they showed interest in my every day life made me remain totally calm and even enjoy the experience of grown ups taking so much time for me. I went home with my aunt afterwards and just resumed my life. No nightmares, no extreme pain afterwards. My scar, which I still have just like you, never bothered me, ever! I seem to remember that I was bothered most by the loss of my beautiful balloon, but I got a new one. And boy, did I have a story to tell the kids when I was back in kindergarten!
Wow Anny, that’s amazing! Thanks so much for sharing. It’s incredible how two similar experiences can be so different. Almost like looking at a different reality. Ha.
Wow. That’s all I can say. Amazing how just when we’re working through an idea or feeling, something pops right into our paths helping us through! I’ve been thinking about this very thing lately – letting myself feel my emotions rather than working so hard to feel differently. Loved this. Need to read again…
Well, I just spent 2.5 weeks helping my daughter and son-in-law since she was in her last weeks of pregnancy and having issues with high blood pressure and severe pains in her legs and hips. Bed rest was recommended, so I headed over to be there and help out. To me this meant keeping my daughter fed, the grandkids fed, the house straightened and helping with hospital visits and shopping, especially since the son-in-law was trying to save his time off for when the baby comes.
Well I did all that, and spent most of my time, cleaning, cooking, entertaining kids and mom and son-in-law. And after the second week, son-in-law got the flu, baby was late, and things were just kinda off it seemed. I started feeling unwelcome, and son-in-law even said he was tired of me cleaning and always doing things. (And no, he was not mean! Never has been, never will be.) He just didn’t want me doing all their stuff. To him it felt wrong. I understand this, but I have to say it hurt my feelings and I really can’t lay my finger on why it hurt my feelings, since I could totally relate? But I started feeling unwelcome, and like I was more of a problem than a help. But at the same time, I know I was a help, and I was appreciated, so where were these feelings coming from?
Obviously resistance was surfacing about what I was doing, but figuring out what that resistance was has been a bust. And when I got home, I was VERY happy to be home, but that night, total depression, feeling sorry for myself, wondering what the hell my reason for being here was. All of that just rained down on me, I mean really just unhappy with everything about myself! And it came in waves. And to make it better, I could not make any sense of it! And of course, I argued with it for a bit, because of my lack of understanding and because I really wanted to know what belief was rearing it’s ugly head. Was it the helping out? Was it that I felt I was intruding and didn’t like the feeling? Did I feel underappreciated? Did they really start resenting me as I was feeling as time went on? Was I just sick of dealing with young kids again and the constant mess, which I don’t have to deal with at home? Was it the fact that I was having these feelings when I really didn’t want to, that was setting off my sense of unease and sadness?
And yes, I am totally clear on the fact that all of this was MY feelings, MY thoughts, and so MY manifestation, whether the family was projecting these things or not. I can only see what I am thinking most predominantly. But what really got me was the wave of negative emotions after the fact. I really felt useless and sad!! I still haven’t figured it out, but I finally stopped fighting it and just let it roll. I cried, got mad, analyzed, then did it all again.
And yes I feel better. And yes, it was very hard to just let it roll, because I do seriously have an issue with letting feelings out that make no sense to me. I want to know why damn-it!
And of course, this post is just another manifestation for me to show that I did the right thing by just going with it, even if it felt wrong and inconvenient. I have spent a lot of time fighting and resisting any show of emotion throughout a lot of my life. And learning to let go, especially when I can’t figure out why I am feeling the way I do is a biggy. But I did it. And now, as Melody so clearly pointed out, I do feel a TON better because I didn’t fight it, too much anyway. 😉
And PS, my newest grandson is here and doing lovely! And I was there, which was what I was really looking forward to while I was there! (Yes I am working hard at not gushing all over everyone, but it IS awesome!) 🙂
“I really felt •useless• and sad”
You felt Useless.
Go back in your past an try to remember when you felt useless and it hurt. Explore this avenue.
Thank you. This was awesome info and just the right time for me to see it as arranged by the big “U” (as usual).
I think learning patience has been the most challenging part of the Law of Attraction for me. I’m just now starting to feel less frustrated when a resistance just doesn’t want to budge. Eventually, the little signs start to pile up, and one day everything comes together and whoosh, the resistance is gone. I’m in the aftermath of one of those whooshes right now, and boy does it feel good! Maybe good enough to be little more patient the next time? We’ll see.
This makes things on the emotional level so much more acceptable … I have always feared that allowing the emotions to emerge, (which they frequently do, pass me those tissues please ! ) was in someway encouraging negative forces to manifest even more. I have resisted “giving ” in to them and have, by doing so, actiually manifested situations which have truly slapped me about the face and made me doubt that the LOA was at all possible to achieve. Now I know why… my fear of creating resistance was actively creating the resistance in the first place !!! Thanks for the heads up on this one Melody… just excuse me while I go and find those tissues… I may be gone a while 🙂
Is that what those bouts are? OK, I won’t see them as a waste of time, but necessary to the process. That time period may be lost, but the next day is productive.
Schedule/plan changes have happened a lot in my life. And as far as I can remember I’ve noticed exactly what you say…that the new one worked out better than what was originally on the calendar.
Tomorrow I have scheduled plans to move furniture out of an apartment. But it’s supposed to rain hard and steady all day with scattered T-storms. It will be interesting if the person who scheduled this cancels since the following day will be a much nicer day.
I’ve been wondering for the past two days what the Universe will do here so it’s super cool to read this now. I know it’s not really about plan changes but well…still. 🙂
Hugs to ya Mel,
I’ve always been there for a bit of chaos and ambiguity time…. it’s when things come together