Awesome Anya asks in her comment to this post: “But Melodyyy, doesn’t LOA say you shouldn’t use ‘I will’ cause then you’ll never get it? What’s up with that? (That annoys me actually. One of my most powerful-feeling affirmations is an ‘I will’ statement; I feel that my sub-conscious is insisting that the affirmation matters and that its power should not be suppressed…yet there’s this ‘No I Will’ LOA rule.)”
Dearest Awesome Anya,
Ooooh, I love this question. I get this type of thing a lot. There you are, focusing on feeling better, coming up with wonderful words that reflect how you want to feel, and some LOA Nazi comes along and condescendingly informs you that you can’t say this and you can’t say that, and if you do, the forces of the Universe will not know what you want and give you a lump of coal for Christmas. To this, my dear readers, I happily and triumphantly and LOUDLY say: Bullshit! Admit it, you sort of knew I would.
The Universe already knows what you want
The first totally false belief that causes these well-meaning but misguided souls to try and censor you for your own good, is that you have to somehow tell the Universe what you want and that if you do this the wrong way, your message will not be received. Hooo mamma, they could not be more wrong on that one, and I imagine the Universe sitting on its chaise lounge, sipping champagne (because, why the hell not?), laughing its infinite ass off about that one. The Universe knows what you want even before you do, even if you’re in total denial about it, and even if you refuse to acknowledge it. The Universe can’t NOT know what you want. It’s thankfully built into the mechanism that creates our reality. The second you notice what you don’t want, you emanate a vibration. This vibration carries two bits of information: What you don’t want and its direct opposite – what you want instead. The Universe knows the difference (because what you want has a much higher frequency). Each little detail of what you don’t want helps the Universe figure out what you want instead. Again, you don’t have to do this consciously, and in fact, you can’t, not with this kind of precision, anyway.
Let me be very clear about this: all this work we do, defining what you want, visualizing, focusing in certain ways, acknowledging emotions, blah, blah, blah, is all designed to undo the twisted and false paradigm we’ve taken on as the truth. Through this perspective, we make our lives WAY harder than they need to be. However, underneath all of this, there’s a natural process at work that we can’t mess up (thank God!), no matter how hard we may try. That’s like saying you can break an Etch-A-Sketch by using it to draw an ugly picture.
Essentially, all this work we do is to help us get out of the way of this natural process, NOT to facilitate it. And a big part of this process is the fact that you communicate what you want in each moment with your vibration. Not your words.
So, do words matter at all?
What exactly happens when you create an affirmation? What are you doing when you make a list of things that you appreciate about yourself? Don’t words, in and of themselves, have a vibration? Don’t they represent certain frequencies? Yes and no. Let me explain.
Words have absolutely no power other than the power we give them. So, if YOU have assigned meaning to a word or have adopted the meaning that your family, culture or society have associated with a word, then that word has a certain meaning for you. Some words may have the power to offend you, for example, but only because you’ve given them that power. When that happens, you have two choices:
- You can change the meaning that you’ve assigned to the words. This is the most advisable option when other people use words that you don’t like. Rather than trying to get them to change the words they use (good luck with that), it’s usually much easier simply to decide that you’re not going to give power over how you feel to a word and those who use it.
- You can choose to use different words. This is the approach you might want to take when you’re choosing your affirmation or looking for words that will help you feel better. It’s easier to choose words that already feel good to you rather than try and bang some bad feeling words into a good feeling place.
When we say an affirmation, such as “I am enough”, “I am beautiful”, “I’m going to be a billionaire”, or “I’m going to hump that hot guy into next Tuesday” (you have your affirmations, I have mine…), we’re using words as tools to help us attune ourselves to the frequency of what we want (and away from the frequency that contradicts what we want). The words don’t matter nearly as much as how those particular words make us feel.
When I help people choose better words
If you’ve ever heard one of my published coaching calls, you may have listened in as I helped someone find “better” words. It’ll usually go something like this: The client describes what she wants. I stop her because the words she’s using aren’t “clean” enough. They have a lot of resistance attached to them. Then, I help her find “better” words, words that are more closely aligned with the frequency of what she wants and evoke a much more positive feeling from her. When we find the right words, the client always feels it, often viscerally (she’ll actually have physical sensations).
So, am I not saying that some words are better than others? Well yes. Only with one caveat: “better” is subjective. Some words are better than others in evoking a certain feeling in YOU. But just because you’ve found words that help you attune to a certain frequency doesn’t mean that those words will do the same for someone else. It’s a very individual thing. It’s a bit like finding out that you LOVE pomegranate flavored Jelly Beans. You then declare that this is the best flavor of all time and you insist that everyone around you not only try them but eat them exclusively. Only, not everyone agrees with you. Some people even seem to dislike this flavor! How can that be? If this is the best flavor for you, wouldn’t it be logical that it be the best flavor for everyone? Are we seeing the flaw in this way of thinking or shall I go on with my awesome, sarcastic self?
When I’m helping people find “better” or “cleaner” words, I’m reading their particular vibration. I help them find the words that most closely match the vibration they want to achieve and currently have access to. You’ll also notice that I always explain to the client that they’ll need to repeat the process periodically, because the words that evoke joy today may not feel the same tomorrow. As they acclimate to the new, higher vibration, they’ll need to choose new words from each level in order to keep progressing. The value to the listener isn’t so much in the particular words we choose (if that were the case, I could just publish a list of high vibrational words and be done with it), but in learning how to feel their way through the choosing process to find the perfect words for their particular purpose and vibration.
How do the words feel to you?
So, when an LOA Nazi comes along and insists that you use or don’t use particular words without taking your particular vibration into account, not only are they demonstrating a profound lack of knowledge of how the Law of Attraction actually works, but they’re trying to force their favorite flavor of Jelly Beans on you. They may have found, for example, that using “I will” statements doesn’t work for them (and if they believe strongly enough that these won’t work, they won’t), and are doing what every religious nut and missionary and fundamentalist before them has done: they’re assuming that their answer must be everyone’s answer. Yes, they’re often coming from a well-meaning place. That doesn’t make them right, or any less annoying.
When you factor in each person’s individual vibration, you simply can’t make sweeping statements such as “You should NEVER use this particular phrase”. You have to look at each word, each sentence, each expression on a case by case basis. You have to feel your way through it. If you’ve found an “I Will” statement that lights up your world, use it. If saying “I want…” feels great to you, don’t let someone tell you that using that phrase will keep what you want from coming to you. If the words you’re using feel good to you, then you’re moving in the right direction.
When I tell someone that they should stop saying particular words, I’m ALWAYS talking about them, in particular. I always take their vibration into account. Now, I generally explain why these particular words aren’t a good idea for them, and someone listening in might then realize that those words, which they also habitually use, have a similar negative effect on them, but it’s not about the words. It’s about how they feel. And that will vary from individual to individual.
Say whatever the hell you want
When it comes to affirmations or lists of gratitude, etc., the one and only thing that’s important is that you feel better. Reach for relief, reach for “better”, reach for whatever takes you closer to being a Happy Shiny Puppy. It really doesn’t matter what you say, as long as what you say feels good to you. You’ll notice, for example, that I have a tendency to, um, curse just a bit. This offends some people. I don’t care (these are not my people). I find cursing funny. It makes me laugh. It often shakes people out of their perspective and allows me to guide them towards a new one. Does all cursing feel good to me? Not at all. It totally depends on the vibration behind the words. Dropping the F-Bomb out of anger feels very different than a joyous, enthusiastic, celebratory “I Am F&%king Awesome!” (now there’s an affirmation for you!). It’s the same word, but it feels very different. All words are like that.
After all, do you really think the Universe would’ve set it up so the process responsible for creating ALL OF REALITY hinges on whether or not you say “I will” or “I am”? Seriously!? And what about the species of animals and plants who can’t talk? I guess they’re just going to have to die out and become extinct. Wow, it’s a wonder that hasn’t happened already… Actually, why hasn’t it? Perhaps the process of creating reality isn’t about which words we choose at all, dear LOA Nazi. Perhaps the Universe is more clever than a mid-level government bureaucrat with low self-esteem who declines your 148 page application because you missed a comma on page 17. I think. I’ve made. My point.
LOA Nazi: 0
Oh yes, thank goodness someone finally cleared this up. I got so put off and confused and full of angst about using the correct words. Phew, I can let it all go and just feel. Love your analogy of the universe as not being some “mid-level government bureaucrat with low self-esteem who declines your 148 page application because you missed a comma on page 17.” So can’t be doing with that kind of bureaucratic crap.
I did use to wonder how come this all-knowing, all-powerful universe (sub-conscious mind, god, me, us) was so dumb and pedantic about understanding basic vocabulary. It always felt off to me.
Thanks for another insightful, awesome post.
I am new to this whole LOA thing, and find it interesting, stimulating, and wonderfully prescriptive for self helpers!
Using the LOA and ” living in the moment” my be just the thing to help me on my difficult journey trough chronic pain.
We’re all figuring this whole LOA thing out, aren’t we? There’s a quote I love that I always remember: You cannot perceive what you are not the vibration of! I think the point is to just focus on raising your own vibrations rather than the vibes of others.
Semi-related question: Have you ever heard of the most interesting man in the world? (the dos equis commercial guy)
What can you say about his vibration and general alignment?
It is about ‘intention’ Melody – the old saying, it is done unto us as we believe covers just about everything methinks.
e-hugs for you for being here.
What Phillip says makes a lot of sense too. You make quite a team. 🙂
Indeed. “Not very bright” fits perfect on this. Thanks for sharing!
I totally agree that ‘intention’ is everything and that, yes, some do go overboard with their critique of chosen. But, I think this is because, as you say, that the words we use are culture driven and have very specific meanings that we have all learned. Certainly, if you teach a child that red means blue, then that is the word foundation for that child. Trying to change that meaning much later in life becomes quite difficult.
Yes, the Universe knows what we want, but the Universe is not some separate being that grants wishes. We are the universe. When we rub the bottle, we are the Genie that appears. If we have filled that genie with thoughts of wanting, needing, hoping, and wishing, the Genie has no choice bit to give the same.
We are the Prodigal that has everything but we choose to experience the manifest world. The problem is that for most, we bump our heads and forget that we have free access to all the treasures of the Universe. Let’s face it, if you knew you were a billionaire, could you really experience the idea of poverty? In our forgetfulness, our subconscious mind builds our life based upon the words we use in our culture. Sure, you can try to give new definition and meaning to those words, but, what you fight, fight back. Why not avoid the issue and use ‘better’ words and simply replace your old paradigm.
In the beginning was the WORD. A word is a vibration and the creative power of our manifest world. So while some may set themselves up as the ‘word police,’ there are valid, as you have said, reasons as to why certain words (vibration) should be avoided. While there are no hard and fast rules, structure is important in re-programming the mind to think differently. When someone writes about these things, it can be difficult to always get across the things that you say in this post without forever filling your words and lessons with exceptions. That could be very confusing to many who may have a hard time understanding that words are important, but they aren’t.
As always, huge hugs for all that you do!
oooh, I love this one. I am so “over” the LOA (and other similar “Nazis”).
Even though, like Melody has said, my intuition knew that what ever I felt was what I felt, and the words were just clumsy tools to try and express those feelings, I had kinda “bought” the Nazi mindset. Worrying about the nuance of this or that vibration. BS. And really just another way to put a barrier and limitation on an individual’s manifestation….
OK…. so a a Libran, I also have to have a bit of a look at the other side of this – and yes, on occasions, the words used, if not examined, can be limiting and creating an energy block – so yes, it is good to have the words and language reflected back. However, if all I want to do is snot the Nazi for their self-righteous superiority as they “reflect”, then that is not raising my vibration!. LOL LoA!
Very good point,s throughout (!) Melody. how illuminating! And- those super-cute critter,s!! and the includede “caption” is incredibly -precious. your post,s are -Always read -And- Saved!! continued blessings and always–thanks..
Much agree, as in sticks and stones may break my bones and such but how do you deal with people overcooking the relativistism? Isn’t there the danger that they will simply adopt another (semantic) identity without being able to simply feel and see who they are without using words?
Though maybe I shouldn’t have said that, you can’t run before you learn to walk. Better to get yourself some new hiking boots if your old ones hurt almost before you’ve put them on. Climb the ladder slowly and surely, why rush at it and not feel safe doing so….with the risk of falling that would entail
Melody this is probably my favourite post from you and you’ve written some brilliant ones. Reading this I felt relief, permission to lose all the ‘rules’ around how I speak to myself about what I’m creating. It also freed me from the idea I’ve been doing something wrong. I have often felt if I didn’t think something in the ‘right’ words it would never happen. And if course it wouldn’t because I was already feeling negative about what I was creating. And I have to say now I know this I’m also thinking duh! this is so obvious 🙂 thank you for adding some common sense to the semantics of manifesting.
Thanks for responding to my question, ‘Mellow-D’. Ka-chunk! Out goes the “No I Will” rule! Yes! Now, I feel free to continue my affirmations. (Jeez, that dumb rule was beginning to drag on me.)
…So, by the end of your post, this was me:
(Who remembers when this was popular!? 🙂 )
Yes! The Dancing Baby! I’m an Ally McBeal fan from way back… 😀
You’re so welcome Anya!
Melody, another really excellent post. It’s made me reflect a bit on language in general. I work with young people in a high school and we (staff) are concerned with trying to shape our young people into ‘socially acceptable’ lovely beings, including influencing the language that they (the young people) use, particularly in social contexts. Now I’m thinking that perhaps language is such a clear reflection of someone’s vibrational point that we should perhaps allow a bit more freedom for young people to express themselves through it. This is obviously why they have their own sub-cultures, but it has also shed light on why I enjoy communicating with young people. I think the very irreverence that why are trying to socialise out of them is actually what creates a very amusing ‘high’ vibe 🙂
So true Dominique! I understand that we want young people to conform, to be able to express themselves properly so that they can be understood by others. But I find that not allowing people to express themselves the way they want to is really counter productive. I remember, when I was about 20, coming home from college and excitedly telling a story. A relative stopped me in the middle of it and admonished me for cursing. My story and enthusiasm stopped there. He couldn’t allow me to express myself the way I wanted to, with my words. He couldn’t see past the words he didn’t like and experience my joy and freedom and allow himself to laugh with me. And it just shut me down.
Young people often don’t yet have the confidence or stability to just shrug that kind of thing off. If they feel disapproved of, it will shut them down. Hell, many adults have the same problem. But if you let them do it their way (which doesn’t mean that they CAN’T speak differently when the situation calls for it), you’ll get that high flying vibe. I’m glad those kids have you. 🙂
Awwww thanks 🙂 – you got it! Glad you came round full circle and rediscovered the cursing ‘you’ again that we all know and love – you were always meant to tell it like it is x
You’re right, Melody! This is a fun post!
Part of what makes writing, and especially writing poetry, so cool is that sometimes the reader can feel the author’s vibration through the choice of words. Every once in awhile, a phrase vibrates just right, and that’s often the phrase that’s most memorable to readers. Perhaps that’s where the phrase ‘strike a chord’ comes from.
You ARE totally F&%king Awesome, Melody!
You’re doing awesome stuff and I’m better for it.
Thanks for nailing another concept into next Tuesday.
Fantabulous … and just what I needed to hear … not that I’ve been worried or consumed with the subject, just every know and again … curious. One day very soon, my kids will “get” this and their creative mental factories will be working overtime 🙂
Have a great week, Melody.
Cool! There are lots of LOA Nazis and non-LOA-ers out there, but the reality is that their words are not heeded anyway. I feel that some make a big stink about stuff just to empower themselves when conversing with a happy puppy.
When someone’s vibration does not agree with mine, they eventually disappear from my reality. This happens naturally, thank God, so the universe is indeed working on things for us in this vibrational collaboration we have going. It really does know, no matter what we are taught in culture (this is a doozy- in some cultures, you are not even allowed to wish for anything because nothing is possible, according to them).
Soooo funny and oh so true! Again you have done it – I laughed, saw a bit of myself, saw a bit of some people I really wish would step in doggie doo and found a way to break some of my own limitations! Your no B.S. approach to the LOA is magical and so needed! Speak that truth, girl!