Ok people, it’s time to get back to basics. For those of you who are new to this Law of Attraction game, today’s post will help you get a much more solid understanding of how manifesting the reality you want actually works. Those of you who’ve been around the metaphysical block a few times, well, it’s never a bad idea to review the simple stuff (especially if you have a tendency to overthink things. You know who you are…)

If you’ve read my (totally freaking free, so go download it now if you haven’t already) e-book, you’ll know that the reason I named this site and my whole business Deliberate Receiving, instead of Deliberate Creating, is because it’s not about the creating part. We create all day long. We can’t help it. We don’t really need any assistance with that. The problems arise in the delivery – we could get what we want, it was created the second we discerned (consciously or otherwise) that we wanted it, but for some reason we’re receiving some other crappy situation, instead. What gives?

What gives is that we’ve forgotten how to receive properly. We were told that things don’t just come to us; we have to go out and MAKE them happen. Money doesn’t grow on trees and no one owes us anything and people are selfish bastards who won’t help us, and if we aren’t willing to suffer and sacrifice, we’ll never get anywhere. We don’t receive, we grab and take, and eke out and scrounge for, and gather, and scrape together, and work for, and suffer for, and beg for, and demand… There’s nothing easy or elegant or balanced about it. This is war, us against them, there’s only so much to go around, and if you don’t hurry, there’ll be none left for you. So, get in there, use your knees and elbows, and go and get yours! Unless you’re a “good person”. Then you let everyone else get theirs first, while you silently resent those who serve themselves. Sarcastic Side Note: Perhaps one day we will all be good people, passive aggressively offering each other food while we collectively starve to death.

What I just described is the basic snapshot of the average person’s belief system. It gives me great pleasure to get on my soapbox and declare that this paradigm, as one might call it, this particular way of looking at the world and how the Universe works, is utter and complete bullshit. What’s more, we know that it’s bullshit. We know, deep down, that the world doesn’t have to work this way (and it doesn’t, really). We want things to be easier. We want things to flow more. We want things to be more balanced. And we want to be more successful. Most people (not you, you’re special) just don’t remember what the alternative looks like. Until now (queue angelic choir).

How the Universe really works

In order to explain how Deliberate Receiving actually works, I’m going to use a metaphor (surprise!). If you’re new to this site, let me just warn you: I love me some metaphors.

Picture someone diving headfirst into a pile full of fluffy, smooshy, cuddly puppies, and just reveling in the sheer awesomeness of it all. That’s me with metaphors. It also works with actual puppies. Except metaphors don’t pee on you when they get excited. I seem to have gotten off track somewhere… Ah yes, the Universe. Here we go:

Deliberately receiving or “manifesting” what you want is a bit like shopping in a catalog. Some of us love catalog shopping. And some of us hate it. The difference between whether you love it or hate it, is the difference between living the life you want to lead or not. Let me explain, shall I?

How do you feel when you catalog shop?

We all have some kind of catalog that we love to look at, some guilty pleasure. Maybe it’s the Skymall Catalog on airplanes (I take them home. They’re just so fascinating). Or the Hammacher Schlemmer one, or some high end clothing catalog. What floats your boat? What makes you go all warm and gooey with dreamy pleasure? Think of that catalog now (or go and get it from under the bed. Go on, I won’t tell anyone). What does it feel like when you look at the images of the clothes or gadgets or whatchamacallits? Do you get all inspired? Do you dream of the version of you whose life includes the Accoustic Immersion Pod? Do you see yourself wearing all those amazing clothes, twirling around without a care in the world? Do your catalog and possibly catalog-fume induced daydreams make you feel all giddy?

Or do you feel this sense of dread and emptiness? Do you look at the clearly overpriced and often useless gadgets with disgust? Do you find it personally offensive that anyone would spend $2 million on a Personal Submarine? Ok, considering who I’m talking to here, you probably don’t feel anything close to offended, but you might not fall into daydreamy bliss every time you look at items that are currently a teensy bit out of your price range. Perhaps you feel something more akin to sadness, annoyance or irritation.

It all comes down to perception and attitude

The difference between enjoying your romp through consumer fantasy land or not, generally comes down to one thought: “I can’t afford it”.

If, while you’re looking at the glossy pages or websites full of goodies you want but don’t need but really, really want and will definitely someday have dammit, your predominant thought is one of poverty – if you believe that you can’t or won’t obtain your dreams, the whole exercise begins to feel just a little bit sucky. If, on the other hand, you’re willing to at least entertain the idea that you can and possibly even will have these items someday, your experience will be a lot more fun. So, your entire catalog shopping experience can be either ruined or turn into dreamy funland, depending on whether or not you believe you have the ability to someday own the goodies you’re ogling.

What the hell does this have to do with the law of attraction, you may be asking. Well, let me tell you: Manifestation is like catalog shopping.

A happy, shiny shopper –

  • Feels inspired when she looks at what she wants
  • Appreciates looking at the things she wants, or anything even close to it
  • Doesn’t need all the pages to be filled with things she wants. She can appreciate even the stuff that isn’t directly for her
  • Has a positive expectation that she will get what she wants, even if she’s not currently sure how
  • Looks forward to the day when she’ll have it

A grumpy shopper –

  • Feels sad, irritated or even angry when she looks at what she wants
  • Criticizes the goods for being too expensive, too extravagant, unnecessary, etc.
  • Actively looks for reasons why something isn’t going to fit into her life, and complains that the items that she doesn’t like are even in the damn catalog
  • Doesn’t think she’ll ever get what she wants, because she can’t figure out how she’ll get it
  • Looks forward to the day the shop goes up in flames

Bottom line

If you

  • want something and you believe that you will get it,
  • appreciate what you want and anything that even comes close to resembling what you want,
  • don’t push against all the stuff you don’t want,
  • create positive expectation and find a way to feel good even though it’s not here yet,
  • don’t need to know HOW it will come to you

you will easily line up with whatever it is you want.

If you

  • want something and do not believe that you’ll get it,
  • criticize the thing you want and anything that comes close to it,
  • demand that anything you don’t like be taken out of your reality so you don’t have to deal with it (and that NO ONE should have to deal with it, even if they like it. In fact, if they like it, they’re obviously sick, twisted weirdos),
  • are full of dread (dread = negative expectation), and are miserable because you don’t have what you want,
  • need to absolutely know how something will come to you in order to be able to believe that it can,

you’re going to be sitting there empty handed for a long, long time.

This is the basic formula for Deliberate Receiving, as seen through the lens of consumerism. Because I like to keep this shit relevant, y’all. You’re welcome.

P.S.: For you young’uns, a “catalog” is like an online shop, printed out on paper, sent to your house via snail mail. You can still find them in airplanes and any other place where the elderly gather or the internet doesn’t exist. And yes, we’re sorry for all the trees that were killed to facilitate the printing of these phone book sized advertisement delivery systems. But not for the dreams. We will never apologize for the dreams.

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  • Sorry now i have understood, it was my falut i’m not so practic with english and i had given up to the ‘dammit’ 🙂 with the imprecation is all clear the meaning of the phrase XD Thank you for the specification 🙂

  • Hi Melody 🙂 I’d like to ask you if you have write correctly this phrase because it would be have more sense to me XD in:
    “If, while you’re looking at the glossy pages or websites full of goodies you want but don’t need but really, really want and will definitely someday have dammit, your predominant thought is one of poverty” instead of ‘need’ did you want say ‘can’t have’?
    Thank you :)) Happy Huggies and thank you for all your sharings ^^

  • I needed a laugh this morning, yesterday sucked. Family issues. Maybe the law brought me to this page. I’m aging myself but I thought I was the only one who loved to read the Sky Mall catalogue, sometimes twice depending on how many times I had to change planes, however I never had the nerve to take one. (The imagine of my Ma shaking her finger at me flashes before me if I even think about stuffing it in my carry on, LOL) Truth be told, I look for discarded catalogue at the post office. I’ve been known to go home with ten or more. A girl can always dream.

  • Oh my gosh, how did I miss this one? This is hysterical (and yet so full of wisdom… how the heck do you manage to do that all the time?). I love “Auntie K”s comparison with online shopping, too (thanks Auntie K!). It would be so much easier if we could just place our orders and then stop worrying about it, the way we do after we place an online order. I came across a web site once (URL escapes me at the moment) that had this premise. You’re supposed to type in your order to the Universe, as if it were an online shopping thing, and then just let it go…

  • Hi, Melody,

    That is something I don’t understand about the Law of Attraction. Do you really need to be happy, let go and all that jazz to get what you want? I know people who are “happy” (I don’t really buy it) and don’t have what they want, in fact, these tend to be the people with the worst lives…

    The last time I manifested a love relationship I just wanted it so much, so much it hurt a lot, all I could think about was the fact that I did not have it and I really wanted that FIRST so I could then be happy. Everyday I walked around with this feeling of how much I wanted it and how much it sucked that I did not have it yet. Three weeks later a love relationship falls right on my lap. I did not even talk to any new man, he literally appeared in my Instant Messaging program.

    I never needed to pretend I was happy neither needed to be ok with the fact I’d be single forever (yikes! I’d never want to be ok with that!), in fact just to read on your post that feeling happy is mandatory makes me sad. I know I may sound like a spoiled brat (I’m not, i barely even ask life for anything!), but some people just can’t bear to be happy without the thing they want, and that was my case with that love relationship, and it happened anyway for me (thank god!)

    Couldn’t it be that some of us just really really really want THE STUFF, not necessarily the happiness that comes with it?

    Right now I’m at a point where I am starting to want a relationship again and I can’t be ok with being happy before I know for sure life is going to grant my wish. For the last few years I had given up on most things and just decided to be ok with what I had and life never granted me anything I wanted. I’m scared to try and be happy (not that I would succeed in it anyway, being happy for no reason is not for me, I just want the relationship first) and see life never granting me my wish…

    My theory for my manifestation is that my desire for a boyfriend was so strong that I could not take no for an answer, so the universe granted me what I wanted anyway.

    I would really appreciate you take on this weird situation I just described! Thanks in any case! =)

    • Hi Mandy! I love your question and just wanted to add my 2 cents here… in my experience, it’s never actually about “the stuff”. It’s always about what you think the stuff is going to do for you — whether it’s happiness, security, excitement, prestige, comfort, or whatever… the stuff is just window dressing to what you think having the stuff will give you. It’s always about that underlying emotion that you attach to it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be happiness, but it is about something other than the stuff.

      When it comes to the relationship thing, it’s not that you need to convince yourself that you’d be OK with being single forever. Especially when you *know* that you wouldn’t be — that’s way too big of a stretch. But figuring out what you think being in a relationship would get you (in terms of the feelings) is important. Focus on that, and find ways to feel that way now. So if you think having a new boyfriend would be fun, then do things now that are fun for you. If you think having a new boyfriend would be comforting, do things now that bring you comfort. The thing is that what you *feel* is a form of energy that you are sending out into the Universe. And that energy attracts like energy to itself, drawing things and experiences into your life that will mirror that energy-feeling back to you. That’s why we say to “feel as if” or “act as if”… now. Because doing that will draw more of what makes you feel that way to you.

      And yes, it is entirely possible that your desire for a new relationship was stronger than your fear of not having one, which is why it would manifest. Also, from what I read in your comment, there was never really an issue with thinking it wouldn’t happen for you… you wanted, you assumed you’d get, you were open to any avenue of delivery (the appearance of the guy on your IM), and you got. That’s how it works. 😉

      • Hi, Nathalie!

        Thank you for you kind answer! My real name is actually the same as yours, the universe is funny that way, don’t you think?

        About the relationship thing, back then I did have issues believing I could have it, but I just set this aside and focused on how much I wanted it. I did it all unconsciously, deep down I think all of us know how life really works. We just get programmed really strongly by society from an early age to believe this “reality” is real.

        About being single forever, it doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch for me, apart from a few exceptions I’ve always been a loner, and don’t exactly have the appearance of the type of girl men go for. I can go years without having not even one guy notice or be interested in me. I’ve had a (ex) “friend” tell me he thinks I am going to end up single lol. So, I know that if i don’t do something I can certainly be single forever lol. But I’ve decided to not let this silly fear get to me and focus on what I want instead.

        I agree it’s all about the feeling too, it’s not ONLY happiness that can get you want you want. Of course being happy would be better for you, but I think we can attract good stuff we want feeling all kinds of feelings. For instance, there was a time I was searching for a job online and the prospects were so so so bad it was getting me worked up. I thought to myself: “There has to be something for me, I refuse to accept this reality”. What I felt was pure indignation. A couple of minutes later a friend emails me a good job prospect, perfect for me! I did this unconsciously too.

        I think it’s really just about energy, whether it is happiness, insatisfaction, etc. That “Excuse me…” book by Lynn Grabhorn hit the nail on the head, learn to flow feelings deliberately and the world is yours. The tricky thing is to train how to feel again, cause most of us adults have gotten used to supressing our feelings since our teen years.

        Thanks for showing me your perspective! =)

  • I love you Melody. Sorry honey! 😉 No, but seriously…your blogs are always on time. Thanks for staying in the flow. It’s been over 3 months that I’ve been creating, and there are times when I doubt that I’m “doing it right”; but I’m the Happy Shiny Shopper you described in your metaphor, so I know that when the time is right, it will manifest.

  • This got me to thinking..,,when we actually do purchase something online, and go thru the act of payment, we then just put it out of our mind, and know that our item will show up in a few days, right to our mailbox. We do not place the order and then immediately start to worry….”what if my order gets mixed up, or what if the address gets put on wrong, or what if the cargo jet crashes…etc.” Wouldn’t it be helpful, when we place our order with the Universe, that we were able to just detach and have the same expectant confidence that our “order” will show up? I wrote a letter to the Universe the other day in which I placed an order for something, then filed it away. Now I am trying to achieve that same sense of trust & confidence that my order is being filled, and I will receive it very soon. It will arrive in exactly the perfect moment.

  • My favourite type of window shopping is looking at houses for rent and sale. I live in a studio flat at the moment and I like to indulge in “property porn” as I call it, in order to prepare myself for the moment in the (very near!) future when I will be making enough money to move into something bigger!! 😀

  • Awesome post & comments! Thanks all!
    One question: so if we are masters of creation who need to learn how to deliberately receive, what is the difference between deliberately receiving and just letting life happen to you? Like you can make your catalog wish list but if you don’t actively place the order, if you will, then how do the manifestations come? I guess I am one of those people who feels “if I don’t do it then nobody else will”, so this one has me stumped. It makes so much sense but its stumpy at the same time!

    • Hey Denise,

      The difference between DELIBERATELY receiving and just receiving by default is that the default method may include a whole lot of stuff you don’t want. Most of us have been trained to look for the worst case scenario, to look for what’s wrong and needs to be fixed, and to not dream too big. What’s more, we’re often unconscious about where our focus is at (usually on the negative). When we deliberately shift our focus to what we want, we start having way, WAY more fun.

      Does that answer your question?


  • I was “Windows” shopping (window shopping online) houses a couple months ago, and there was this nice big house my Fiance & I were looking at. I caught myself thinking that it was too Fancy for me, when I realized that it’s not too fancy! It’s just not my style!

    BTW, “Windows” shopping for houses usually includes imagining our lottery tickets won. Then I can feel free to look at ALL the ones that match my search rather than just the ones in my non-lottery win price range.

  • I have an example of this that happened lately. At one time I toyed with the idea of getting a beehive. I know a beekeeper and I talked to him about it. Then I met another guy who had a beehive, and I talked to him about it too. I really wanted that beehive. But at some point, I gave up the idea. I never really decided not to go it, I just never did get one- even though I found lots of possibilities online [hives complete with bees]. I eventually forgot all about it.
    Fast forward about one year. I walked out to my patio and found there were thousands of bees flying around. I was a little freaked out. Turns out, a queen bee and her workers had swarmed to my house and set up shop in my attic. I guess they were tired of waiting for me to get that hive 😉 I ended up having the beekeeper come and take them all to his place. He’s going to return my hive to me when I’m ready and have the proper home for them. I thought that was a perfect example of LOA- the universe was just providing me what I asked for.
    I have to say, those bees were pretty awesome! I got to dress up in a beekeepers outfit and see them up close. They were perfectly gentle and no one got stung. I even got some wax and honey out of the deal 🙂

    • Cool Laurel! What a great story! The world needs bees as their populations have been dwindling of late, so this was so uplifting for me! The universe delivers!

  • I really love reading everyone’s comments and LOA stories, they make me giggle and smile and just feel so good 😀 It’s actually really fun to stop and think about all of the little (or big) things we’ve manifested because at the time we may not have even realized it. I remember one day being at the store and really wanting this lovely, glass measuring cup because I love cooking but I didn’t have the money at the time so I just went on about my business. I don’t even know how long afterwards it was but months later my mom stopped by and she ALWAYS has random objects folks in her building leave out to donate that she finds and loves giving me…a few baking pans, a pot and lo and behold: a big, shiny, glass measuring cup! I could not believe it! I felt so thankful and just kept saying thank you thank you thank you, Universe! Other times, the Universe comes through even BETTER than I had even imagined or desired. Ahhhhh, love this love and love life! Happy Friday everyone!


  • I still get catalogs all the time. I also do a lot of online shopping so that probably has a lot to do with it. I absolutely LOOOOOVE window shopping, catalog shopping……anything that involves obtaining new clothing or shoes, I’m all on it. And I always think of how cute I will look in the clothing or shoes, I rarely ever look at prices. I usually just decide “Eh, I don’t want to pay that” and I go on about my day (but I usually don’t stop thinking about how cute I will look. ha ha!). I am ALWAYS finding good deals. And I guess that’s why I have more clothes and shoes than I know what to do with. LOL! Geez! I need to start applying THIS to my “bigger” wants! This has been a tough week for me but at the same time a week FULL of insights. I feel the “winds of change” coming on. Thank you Melody! 🙂

  • Melody, this totally cracked me up! As someone who at times can fall into hating the whole shopping experience and the thought of consumerism I now have a whole new appreciation for it. I’m off to find me a catalog…

    Tabi(tha) 🙂

  • I have just had a very lovely LOA experience today.
    Today is Friday and I am lucky to be able to be off work due to some extra hours I worked last month. I have to have coffee of a morning and I have to have good coffee. So I drove to my local shops with my dog, (who loves an outing in the car and hates me going to work). We were both just settled comfortably at an outside table when a friend walked by. I was going to Sahaja yoga meditation at her house for a few months during winter. Her husband came by also and they joined me for coffee. Nice chat. Nothing too remarkable. Only that I am conscious of “taking my moment” and enjoying social occasions, because for many years I had the belief people did not like me. So having this lovely warm and friendly couple stop and make time to have a coffee with me – well I made sure I acknowledged this, and re-affirmed that people DO like me, and I like them, and life is all about sharing coffee in the sun.
    …. Some weeks back I had been shopping in the little boutique clothes shop in my village, and found a classy woollen knit green top. It was $150. It was worth it, as it was a quality soft wool blend, and the boutique only sells good quality upmarket clothes. At no time did I say – or even think – “I cant afford it”. I just thought how I loved the colour and what good quality it was, what good value, how elegant it was. At the end of winter they had a half-price sale. So $75. I really, really, really wanted that green top. But not at $75. Yes, I could afford it. I thought about buying it. But decided, despite the excellent value, I would wait. So I came home, tried on two outfits I had decided the green top would be worn with, and the green and purple scarf I would wear. I “wore” my green top around the house for an hour or so and then hung it up in the wardrobe. As I did this, I said: “I will pay $40 for the top and it looks fantastic and I love it already. I will wear it to dinner with my (other) friend and her husband (see, suddenly I have lots of friends..!) and she loves beautiful things (just like me) and she will remark on how gorgeous it is. Yes. I lived the whole experience, especially my friend’s joyful loving admiration of my new green knit. Anyway in the next few weeks I went back 2 more times to the shop and the top was still $75. Today, sitting having coffee, I just casually mentioned there was a green top I wanted over the road at the boutique. I didnt think my friends had registered my comment. But as we crossed the road to our cars, parked near the boutique, my friend said: “Show me the green top you want”. As we went in, the woman working at the shop greeted us with:”Hi, the sale items are 75% off today – not 50%, 75%, today only”. So that made my top $37.50 So now it is REALLY hanging up outside my wardrobe, with the green and purple scarf draped over it, so I can look at it all day today, smile and laugh and say: “thanks universe!!!!!”
    Ha ha ha ha. I LOVE this stuff.

    • Kuradji – I so enjoyed reading your comment! It made me laugh out loud with happiness when I got to the end, like I was there with you when you went in with your friend and the top was 75% off. It ties in with an insight that I have began to observe at work in my life – it’s FUN for the Universe to orchestrate manifestations that inspire WONDER in us, and therefore for itself. The Universe is at play with itself, through us!

      Ps: For anyone interested, I am finding that receiving is getting easier (and faster) when I practice deliberate and true self-acceptance. Robert Holden’s book ‘Happiness Now’ has really helped me understand this. He has a wonderful story in the opening pages of the book about two little brothers arguing over who gets to have the bike and they then agree that one boy will have it all day today and the other will have it all day tomorrow and they shake on it and are happy, and just as they walk out of the room, the little boy whose turn is tomorrow says “Hey, let’s pretend its tomorrow!”. I laughed so hard when I read that and I’ve adopted that for myself. Hey, let’s pretend its tomorrow when I have all of the stuff I ever wanted! Hahahaha!

      • ” it’s FUN for the Universe to orchestrate manifestations that inspire WONDER in us, and therefore for itself. The Universe is at play with itself, through us!

        Writing this on a poster for my office — I love it! Thank you!

  • Good too see you’re going back to Basic Melody.

    You have this talent for presenting complex topic in an easy to understand way, making it accessible for every day folks. That is the mark of a great teacher.
    good teachers simply passes the knowledge on – they simply pass the ball.
    Great teacher make sure the students understand the message inspire them to look further – they give you the ball and let you have fun with the ball.

    the above blog is an excellent example of your works : it’s easy to understand and it tickles my imagination.

  • Thank you-Rose! because -so true! Mels mail always is opened first- and Saved/flagged. deep and warm- never deviating from the true facts involving L.O.A . as always- love those adorable critters! bless you . Melody and thank you.

  • I am overwhelmed with the overflowing cuteness and pure awesomeness of this blog post. The image of the pile full of fluffy, smooshy, cuddly puppies and the rest of this insightful post offers too much cuteness and awesomeness for my daily visual allowance of cuteness and awesomeness. The cuteness will have to flow over to the next day and perhaps the next as my visual allowance cannot contain it.
    Also, in some part of the world, today is teacher’s day. And I want to take this moment to wish the best teacher in the whole wide world a very Happy Teacher’s Day. You have taught me so much darling Melody. I can never be able to come up with the right words to express my gratitude to you. You’re the best, kindest, most patient, adorable teacher anyone can ever have. You’re just the best teacher ever. Thank you so much awesomest teacher! You’re the best! No wait, the bestest. iestestest. Sending a big tightttttttttt hug your way.

  • This is exactly what I needed today!! Last night I realized I never let myself want, so my next task is to grab some catalogs and start dreaming!

    Thanks so much for this and I love your writing style!!!

  • Haha catalogues. I remember those days. Good times, good times… Still loving internet shopping more though, after all it only gets better~ 😛

  • Just read your shopping from the universe blog! Great! So glad I attracted your blog Ive read and love everything in it you and Esther(Abraham) have really reminded me of what I (we) have forgotten


    Melody, you just completely illustrated a limiting belief for me in a way I had never, ever thought possible.

    Guess what?

    I don’t read catalogs, or look in online shops. I’ve developed total “ad blindness”, and don’t even read the details of anything that has a price-tag. I don’t read real estate papers or websites, and I don’t listen to sales pitches. Hell, I even turn my head away when I drive past a car dealership! (That is totally subconscious too, I just realized it now. I’ve never been able to look a new car straight in the headlights.)

    And you know what? I’m not angry at those things for existing, or resentful that I can’t have them. Its worse. I’m *resigned* to it. Someone asks me to “look at this cool thing you should buy!” and I tune them out, muttering something about “well that would be completely pointless, and besides, I have important things to do…” and walk away.

    No wonder I’m stuck here, my limiting beliefs have me convinced there is no point in even *wanting* something! WTF?!?!?!

    Okay, so um, thanks? And I’m gonna go work on letting myself want stuff now, for apparently the first time ever. Nice post Melody, that one really blew open a door for me!

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