Dina asks: I found this post extremely helpful and with some really great points, but I’m having a problem with one aspect (Quick summary: a reader asked why the guy she thought was the ONE didn’t stick around).  While I get that concept, what’s bothering me is this fellow (the one she thought was the ONE) is who SHE wanted.  The universe deciding for us, to me, is akin to a parent or someone that knows better than us what we should want or is good for us.  In a way, this is unacceptable to me.  This makes me feel that while we have free will and can make choices, what we do doesn’t matter anyway because if the universe doesn’t want us to have it, we won’t.  This seems extremely unfair (yeah, I know life is fair lol).  It makes me think that events are truly random and trying to stay positive and working LOA is just to keep up hope which is great but if the universe thinks the guy I love isn’t for me than why put stuff out there at all?  Whatever’s going to happen will happen without my intentions.

Does this make sense?  I mean, again, I have seen LOA work — I stated that my guy would call and he did but if in the end, I won’t be with him anyway because the universe doesn’t deem it to be fit, then why I would use my energy at all?”

Dear Awesome Dina,

In the post that you mentioned, a woman was asking why the guy she thought was the ONE didn’t stick around. He came in, made her feel all mushy and then vanished. I explained that she needed to stop looking for the ONE, and accept the fact that she was always going to be evolving. She needed to look for the NEXT ONE, the one who was a match to her now. I also explained that when someone gravitates out of your reality, it is only because they are no longer a match to who you have become.

And yeah, some of you are having a bit of a problem with that. But that’s because you’re still not getting your heads around the idea that what is coming is EVEN BETTER THAN WHAT LEFT. Oh, and IT IS WHAT YOU WANT. What left, wasn’t.

Is the Universe like our parent?

You asked if the Universe was like a parent. In your question, you describe a human parent who, in their concern and fear, decide that they can’t trust the child’s inner guidance and give the child what they think is best for them instead of what the kid wants. In other words, when you asked for chocolate cake for breakfast, you got sugary cereal instead. Your mother, who thought that cereal was better for you than cake, decided she knew what was good for you better than you did (you being a brainless child, and all), and fed you what, in her opinion, was better. But because the sugary cereal didn’t actually satisfy your desire, you weren’t happy. And you shouldn’t have been.

But let’s look a bit more closely at what you actually wanted: You asked for chocolate cake. Why did you want chocolate cake? What did it represent to you? Well, you probably had several reasons:

  1. You wanted something yummy that would make you feel good. And you associated chocolate cake with that, because it tastes like happy.
  2. You were challenging the limitations placed upon you (you wanted freedom to make whatever choices you felt were right, and discover for yourself what was best), and deliberately asked for something that your mother would probably say no to. This would’ve created a situation in which you could outwardly rebel against the rules and regulations that made no sense to you.

Was chocolate cake the best way to get what you wanted – freedom and yumminess? Probably not. But you, in your very limited perspective and experience, had no way of knowing that. In fact, had your mother stopped resisting and just given you what you wanted, after the euphoria wore off, you’d most likely have decided at some point that you didn’t actually like eating chocolate cake for breakfast. Maybe it would even give you a stomach ache. And, had your mother never pushed against you in this way, you wouldn’t have had to develop an ego that would make it hard to now tell her that you no longer wanted chocolate cake, for fear of proving her “right”.

By the way, I just want to make it clear that I’m not bashing your mom, or anyone’s parents here. We all do the best we can and so did they. And I know that it’s hard to even consider not giving kids so many rules (and it really depends on how it’s done vibrationally. If you take away the rules but keep the fear, you’ll end up with little monsters who have no limits on how they constantly challenge your limiting beliefs. Oh, did you not know that you manifest your kids’ tantrums and cheeky behavior? Yeah… but let’s leave that for another post.) This really is just an example, greatly simplified to make a point, and should in no way be taken as parenting advice. We good? We good.

The Universe is not your momma

As we can see in the above example (before I went off on my tangent), you thought you wanted chocolate cake, but it wasn’t actually a match to what you truly wanted. Only, you didn’t know that. The best way to figure it out, in this case, would’ve been to just eat the chocolate cake. After a few days of that, you would’ve figured out that it wasn’t what you wanted, and providing ego didn’t play into it (or other, connected limiting beliefs), you would’ve just gone on to eat something else.

The point is this: You wanted chocolate cake, because you thought it would give you what you REALLY wanted, and you stubbornly held to that notion. Being given something else, something that also didn’t satisfy your real desire, and on top of that was forced upon you by an authority, didn’t feel good. And now, you’re afraid that the Universe might do the same thing.

Here’s the thing: the Universe isn’t one of your parents. Your parents are human beings, and they’re here dealing with their own limiting beliefs. The Universe is more like a vending machine – you tell it what you want and it delivers. It doesn’t judge your desire. It also doesn’t worry about the idea that what you want might not be good for you. That concept of something being good or bad for you doesn’t exist on that realm. There is what you prefer and what you don’t prefer, but often, you need to experience what you don’t prefer in order to figure out what you do prefer, so how can the thing you don’t prefer be bad? Ah sure, other people can warn us about stuff THEY don’t prefer, because they assume that we’re all the same, so if they don’t like something, nobody will like it (unless they’re weird), but they can’t ever really tell us what’s best for us, because what’s BEST for us, is what we truly want.

Stop clinging to the chocolate cake!

In the blog post you referred to in your question, the reader had determined that this guy she’d met was the ONE. He was the guy who was going to give her everything she wanted. He was her chocolate cake and no one was going to tell her otherwise. In this case, the Universe did not step in and take away her cake and replace it with something she hadn’t asked for. It actually let her eat her cake. And for a while, it tasted good. But then, he behaved in a way she didn’t like. He didn’t call back. He essentially left. Another woman might’ve manifested an ugly relationship, not being willing to give up until she was forced to. This is the equivalent of realizing that chocolate cake gives you a stomach ache when you eat it in the morning.

The Universe didn’t take away her man. He left because he wasn’t a match to what she truly wanted. As she had become happier, she’d moved more and more into the vibration of her true desire, causing him to have to move out and make room for what was coming next.

The Universe doesn’t determine what you want. That part is your job (it’s pretty much your only job, and if you could just remember that, you’d manifest the stuff you want a whole lot faster). Like I said, it’s more like a vending machine. It doesn’t judge you and doesn’t try to teach you lessons or determine what’s best for you. It just delivers.

The vending machine

Think of it like this: You go up to this vending machine, and you say, “I want a candy that tastes like cherry”. And so, the vending machine (which is obviously voice activated, which is pretty damn cool, if you ask me) spits out a white piece of candy. You, never having seen a white cherry candy before, demand a red candy. Not for one second do you consider that you got exactly what you wanted (this is the equivalent of not being a match to what you want. You can’t recognize it even when it’s right in front of you).

So, you say “Give me a red candy”, and the vending machine complies. Only the red candy is cinnamon and as you put it in your mouth, your eyes begin to water. At this point, people will react in one of several ways, depending on their beliefs. I’ll list a few here:

  • They throw both candies away, declaring that the vending machine doesn’t have what they want (this would be like stating “There are no good men/women out there!”).
  • They determine that the vending machine is obviously broken or messing with them. They clearly asked for what they wanted and didn’t get it. Why is the vending machine so cruel? Perhaps the world is just unjust, or perhaps they don’t deserve to have the candy they want.
  • They keep eating the cinnamon candy, declaring that it’s not so bad (This is straight up denial).
  • They try to change the candy, looking for things they can do to make it taste like cherry. Perhaps if they combine it with other flavors? They read books on “How to make your candy taste the way you want it to”, and swap candy flavoring advice with their friends (do I really need to explain this one?). At some point, hopefully, they’ll get sick enough of the taste of cinnamon taste and will actually try the other candy.
  • Feel free to add your own here.

In your question, you said that this guy was the one SHE wanted. And since we can get everything we want, obviously the Universe hadn’t complied. Only, that’s the equivalent of taking that cinnamon candy out of your mouth and saying “I want THIS particular piece of candy, and I want it to taste like cherry. Why doesn’t it taste like cherry? I’m going to pretend that it does taste like cherry. I’ll bet that it really does taste like cherry and I’m just not tasting it right. I’ll keep at it.” But since you don’t like cinnamon, you instinctively spit it out and it falls to the ground. Now, you grieve over that piece of candy, because it was the ONE. Only, it freaking wasn’t. And you can blame your mom or the vending machine all you want, the fact is, you stubbornly held to the idea that what you wanted was this piece of candy, when what you really wanted was what you thought the candy would give you.

You can have what you want, or…

And that’s what the Universe is always trying to give you. It will give you what you ask for, however, but only if it serves you. In other words, if what you are asking for will help you figure out what you really want, even if it does so by highlighting what you don’t want, you may well attract the thing you thought you wanted. And it will not be fun. Because you’ll realize, at some point, that even though you thought this was what you wanted, it’s not. And then, you’ll sit there and lament that the Universe made a mistake.

Do you want to know how I know that the guy in the other post wasn’t a good match to the woman? He left. The Universe didn’t take him away. He left. He couldn’t stay. The vibration wasn’t a match. No decision was made by anyone to make him leave. Just as two magnets with the same polarity will repel each other, so do conflicting vibrations have to gravitate away from each other. This does not mean that one magnet is a douchebag, or the other is broken or undeserving somehow. She could’ve manifested a situation in which he stuck around and the relationship disintegrated more and more, to prove to her just how wrong it was. But she wasn’t a match to that kind of pain. Her resistance wasn’t that great anymore. But just because he gravitated out gently, doesn’t change the fact that he gravitated out.

Bottom line

The only thing that ever really goes wrong is that we forget that we are ALWAYS on the way towards what we truly want. We latch on to something that we’ve determined will fit the bill, not realizing that the actual representation of what we want will be a million times better. We have learned to be so distrustful of our own power and the Universal process that’s always supporting us, that we’d rather put up with some paltry cardboard representation of what we want, than allow the real thing to manifest.

You’re going to get what you want. Just accept that as fact. Sometimes (ok, pretty much always), you just can’t imagine what that will actually look like, so you do your best to come up with some representation of it. And that’s ok, unless you begin to insist that this is the thing you want. If you can see the manifestations that come in as the next step, let it all unfold perfectly and TRUST that you are always on your way to what you want, not only will you get it, but it will be so, SO much better than anything you ever conceived of. Stop waiting for the last manifestation. Stop waiting for the thing that will finally complete you and make you happy. Be happy now. Float through life. Enjoy the ride. And TRUST that you will get to where you are going. The vending machine’s got this, yo.

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  • Hi Melody,

    Your tagline is so true! “Where Law of Attraction finally makes some freakin sense”. It really is making for me after reading your posts. You have a wonderful clarity about it and I suppose that it comes only when someone truly understands what she is talking about, inside out.

    Thank you very much for sharing this knowledge. It is helping me understand many Law of Attraction related concepts better.

  • I really like this quote, “life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness”

    As long as I keep my mind and heart positive towards the end result, everything that happens now is for a reason.

  • Hi Melody, I’ve really been enjoying your posts and have been learning and questioning a lot.
    This is an interesting one, which I actually spent several days pondering over. In the end, in many ways being open to receiving what is best, may turn out to be different to what we perceive to be right for us – at least that was a recent experience of mine.
    I had been hankering after a pet dog for a long while now, and for me, the ideal dog was always going to be a (show type) cocker spaniel – i had even defined my favourite colours.
    When the time came to actually choose a pup, we came really really close to getting a cocker, but in the end ‘settled’ as it seemed at that time, for a Yorkshire terrier. Given my in depth research in to dog breeds – it was pretty surprising that a Yorkie never came up on our list.
    It turns out now, that it was the perfect choice.
    He doesn’t need too much exercising (big criteria! – compared to a cocker spaniel – high energy) and although he needs grooming, he doesn’t moult. Where I thought I would really be adamantly against spending time grooming a dog, it turns out, it’s a really relaxing activity.
    So all in all, although it was not quite the doggie outcome, I initially envisaged, it has turned out to be the better outcome.
    OR it could just be that we’re really really grateful for the extra love in our lives now 🙂

  • Dear melody,
    Sorry, I have to disagree on the outcome should a parent allow a child to eat what it wants when it wants. My friend pursued this path, allowing red snakes (candy) for breakfast and chocolate cake instead of the cooked meat and veg for dinner. Kid is now 8 and grotesquely obese. I mean obscene. Kid of course is now bullied at school.
    I think good eating habits and good sleeping habits need to be learnt at an early age.
    Just my observation.

  • Thanks so much for another awesome post!!! I love how you break things down and make it so much easier to understand. I “forget” that what I want is on its way… thanks for the reminder!!!

  • Ah…don’t bother fighting about choco cake, just compromise. “You wanna eat choco cake (or ice cream), fine. But you’re gonna drink a green protein shake with it. Ha! 🙂

    The real reason for this comment though is, that I just wanted to let you know that the candy analogy along with the vending machine really cleared up a lot for me, in not just the realm of LOA but it also explains the push/pull dynamic I tend to get involved with.

    Very cool. Thanks.

  • hello melody….

    i kinda understand your point of view,but i must say that i have to agree with the point of view of that girl…

    For an example:

    In july of this year,i started the creative process(acting,speaking and thinking as i alreday had what i wanted) in order to get something that i really wanted,and still want,that was winning the lottery,(In my country it’s called the euromillions).I now that it’s a cliche and everybody wants to win it,but i dont want to win it cause of foolish or EGO reasons.I’m not also saying that i am the only person that wants to win the lottery for “good” reasons.But anyway,i did that,and also a lot of prayer to GOD/UNIVERSE.In the day that was going to be known if the jackpot came out or not,i did i a prayer,but a special one.A one like i never did it before in my whole life for anything.With a full opened heart i BEGGED to god to the jackpot still raise to the amount that i wanted,so i could bet on it.In that same day the jackpot CAME OUT!!!!1st disapointement

    Then i acessed to an oracle,a reliable one i must say,that is a book that comes with aramaic coins,and in the book are messages from jesus.The book is a best-seller and even received a award from your country,the united states.So after making my question and receiveing the message thru the aramaic coins,that is the same thing to say that i received my answer,i followed exactly what jesus had adviced me to do,in order to get what i wanted,the euromillions.I must also say that the book it serves to answer to all questions,and the answers are in messages,as i reffered,so they are not objective answers,otherwise will be a scam.You have to obtain your own answer from the message you receive,and the ones i received were positive ones.But guess what,when the amount of the jackpot is near to the amount i want,it cames out again.2nd disapointement(and last i hope).

    Followed exactly what He said me to do,and i died on the vine.One thing i forgot to say is with that i also,during all that time,made my daily gratitude,on everything that happened to me god,even small things,and used along with that the LOA.

    And i was very clear abou what i wanted when i asked,during all the process.And instead of the Universe give me the white candy with the cherry inside,or the red one but with cinnamon,he gave me none of them.So i start to feel that alll that LOA thing to obtain the life you want is worthless.If the universe/god doesn’t want to,why the effort for???Is very revolting….

    • Giovanna, I think your answer from Melody will be the same as her answer to Eve, above. If you have not won the euromillions, it is because you are not yet a vibrational match to winning the euromillions. I dont know how you would BECOME a vibrational match to winning the euromillions, but whatever it is, it has to make you feel good. — I hope my 2 cents here is not out of line. Blessings to you 😀

    • This is just what I am working on but it might be worth looking at within yourself. Margaret M. Lynch has several eft videos on youtube. What a group of us are working on her chakra vows concerning money.

      Chakra 1~ the vow to be loyal to, or rebel against, your earliest money paradigm.

      Look at your oldest memory about money. The way your parents felt about money. The rebel aspect is you saying I will never be like that. The limiting beliefs that go along with it.

      Mine were a duality. My mom grew up with a deep dark depressing feeling that everything would be taken from her. She made an incredible living but spent it all on junk. Stuff she wouldn’t be shattered if it were lost. I, in turn, have the ability to make an incredible living (the vow to be like her) but will hold on to things (like a car that has been trying to die for the last five years instead of just buying a new one). The latter half is the rebelling against being like my mom.

      Chakra 2~ the vow to limit your deepest desires

      This is where the lottery would live. You want to win it. You know you can while there is a part of you telling you, you shouldn’t ask for something that big. If you ask for somthing that big, it won’t come to fruition. Not wanting, not asking for it keeps you safe from disappointment. There is a part of you that feels like this isn’t safe.

      Chakra 3~ the vow to be invisible, appropriate, or who others want you to be

      This is not only saying “I am worth it. I deserve it.” With the lottery, it would be you are worth knowing with or without the money. Seeing yourself as someone who has something to offer other.

      Chakra 4~ the vow to be critical and perfect

      This is the part of you that tells you, you are not ready for something huge.

      Chakra 5~ the vow speak the truth of your limitation, to give voice to all your other negative vows instead of your Heart Truth

      This one is when you talk about what you don’t have. Talk about what you have, what you like and send the signal you want more of the fun stuff.

      Chakra 6~ the vow to manifest and embody limitation

      This is you demonstrating all your limitations. If you don’t have what you want, that is showing you the depth of your belief in your limitations.

      Chakra 7~ the vow to experience the Divine as Limited

      This is the part of you that tells you the Divine, God, Allah, Jesus, Jewish Guy and/or Tom Cruise is keeping stuff from you. You have to curry favour with the external deity, dance around with your chicken’s foot hoping to get a nibble on what you want. The biggy here is taking responsibility. This is my life. All the stuff in it, I created/attracted through my vibrations. If it sucks, I did that too. The only way to change is to understand/know/feel the Universe/Divine is unlimited. I am part of this unlimited. The person limiting me is me. I need to knock that poo off.

    • Thank you so much for asking this question!! I wrote a response, later read it again and thought “jeeezzeee” I sound so serious. I must have had a stick up my bottom.

      The usual answer to why can’t we vibe into the lottery is because we really want something else. We want security (the new house), freedom to move (the new car) or to change our situation in life (to be more loved, liked, admired and so on). Melody did write a helk of a post about this very thing but I couldn’t find it in the archives. She really does know what she is talking about. It would be worth your time to go through the archives to find it or other posts that speak to you.

      But… What if it were actually just about the money or wanting to win? I blogged on that. I have no idea if it will work. I want to set up a fun series of vibe raising, playtime posts that maybe will help someone win the lottery. Whadda ya’ think? Do you want to try it with me?

  • Wow, this post hit hard. I read it last night and have been chewing it over all day and getting myself in a total twist. I have been reading this blog and Abraham’s stuff for a while and my understanding was that I don’t have to be totally specific about what I am asking for because my Inner Being has already got a handle on the list of qualities I am looking for. I can use visualisations to fine-tune my vibration, but I don’t need to specify. I also understood that my Inner Being can see stuff I can’t (like this man I think is great is actually not as great as I think he is because I can only see the bits he is showing now, but my Inner Being can see the whole thing). So, my Inner Being / The Universe does actually know what is best and looks out for me by not giving me stuff I don’t actually want, even when I get the asking a little wrong, as long as I line up vibrationally with Who-I-Really-Am.

    Ok, so far so good. Then I read this post and the example of the candy from a vending machine. Basically, what I am getting here is: if you don’t specify that the cherry candy that you want should also be red, you are going to get what you asked for (cherry candy), but not what you wanted (red cherry candy) because you didn’t specify properly. That is scary. That is saying that if there is one little tiny thing that I don’t specify correctly, I will end up with what I asked for, and what I thought I wanted, which is not necessarily what I actually wanted. I preferred to think that my Inner Being has got my back. And that my Inner Being knows a bit more than I do – being connected to Source and all.

    And what if what I actually want is something I have never experienced before? What if the thing that will make my heart sing is actually strawberry/blackberry flavoured candy with just a hint of lime? I have never tasted that, but my Inner Being knows me and knows that this is the very thing I want. So, it gives me what it knows is best for me (the combo candy) even though I picked cherry from the vending machine display, because it knows that this is what I will love and I would not have picked it because I have never tasted it before and don’t yet know that this is what I want.

    “It will give you what you ask for, however, but only if it serves you. In other words, if what you are asking for will help you figure out what you really want, even if it does so by highlighting what you don’t want, you may well attract the thing you thought you wanted. And it will not be fun.”

    From this quotation it seems that instead of having my back and steering me gently and lovingly towards what I really want, I am in fact going to be hammered with ‘learing opportunity’ after ‘learning opportunity’ so that I can ‘figure out what I really want’ and ‘it will not be fun’. This makes me feel terrible. What is the point? If I am simply going to be lining up lots of experiences that end up not being great because I haven’t been able to define exactly what I want, that is just going to be horrible.

    “Stop waiting for the last manifestation. Stop waiting for the thing that will finally complete you and make you happy. Be happy now.” I do get this. I really do. But I have been going general a lot and just focussing on feeling better. Now I am not sure I am going to actually manifest anything that I want because I am not doing the asking correctly (punching the right button on the vending machine). That I will end up with ‘almost right’ things because that will help me to define what I want.

    Sorry about the length of this. I really have got my knickers in a total twist about this! Or have I completely misunderstood? Please say I have, Melody!!

    • Hey there Eve,

      You get what you are a vibration match to. The Universe is always trying to give you precisely what you want. But it can’t, if you’re not a match to it. And you don’t have to “ask” using words. You don’t even have to do it cognitively, and no, you don’t have to figure out all the details. You “ask” with your vibration. How do you know if your vibration is a match to what you want (red and cherry)? You can tell by the way you feel.

      This post wasn’t about how you ask, though, which is why I didn’t go deeply into that here. This post was about the reaction you have to what you get. If you look at the cinnamon candy and decide that you are powerless to attract something else, or try to change the manifestation physically, you will fail. But, if you realize that you always get what you’re a match to, meaning, if you got something other than what you wanted, then you can use that manifestation to help you fine tune your vibration and attract something else, now you’re flying.

      The problem with blog posts is that no matter how long I make them, I can’t cover all the bases in one post, only ever on aspect. As you keep reading, things should become clearer. The metaphor I used here wasn’t the perfect one for the asking process, it was the perfect one to highlight the reaction to the manifestations.

      I hope that helps and got your knickers untwisted. 😉

      Huge smooshy hugs,


      • Phew! Thank you so much for clarifying. Knickers now back where they should be. I am going to go an re-read the posts about asking Again. Thank you so much for the reply.

        Great bit smooshy hugs back to you.


          • Thanks Kathleen. Melody’s answers are so much better though. I am still struggling to understand and to implement much of this.

          • You are not alone. I think I understand it, I am still working on better implementation. — Try to relax more and ‘allow’ it. ‘Let’ it happen instead of trying to ‘make’ it happen. Be in the mind-set of receiving (like Melody’s blog). The mind-set of, what I want is on its way to me and I am here and open to receive it. Relax, lean back, and LET it in, as opposed to leaning forward and reaching out, grabbing it and dragging it back to you. Let, not make. This is something I have to work on all the time. 😀 Blessings, Kathleen

  • Another post of perfection Melody! I love you more than Oreos and milk! I was just thinking as I read this post about a situation I’m in. Okay so I had been single for a year and decided, although I enjoy single life (a lot) I would quite like a boyfriend. So I made a mental list of what he would look like, personality, etc. Right down to him living near me (I live in a tiny area). So next thing I know I was at an event where I kind of met him and thought “He’ a perfect match”, but alas he had a girlfriend. So I forgot about him and my list to be honest. Skip forward a couple of months and I’m now in a situation where I see and talk to him everyday. I like him a lot, and to top it all of he’s single now too. But here’s the thing, even though it’s obvious I attracted him into my reality, how come he doesn’t seem to actually be physically attracted to me? I wanted this guy in my life as a boyfriend, not just a friend. SO WHY DOESN’T HE WANT ME?

    P.s. when I made my mental list about my dream man, I had never met this man and knew nothing of him, but he matches every single detail on my list, it’s crazy.

  • OMG! Once again, just what I needed at just the right time. I freakin’ love LOA and you Melody! 🙂
    I thought trying to figure out what I want in life was hard. Once I figured it out, patience became the newest obstacle (as this has never been one of my strengths). I know what I want and I want it NOW (or yesterday, even better). I have really, REALLY got to start working on my patience. Maybe some affirmations? I don’t know. I’m definitely heading toward my goal and lining up with “future me”, but OMG it is taking too long! LOL!
    I need to learn to relax and enjoy the ride. 🙂
    Thanks again Melody! 🙂

    • You are so funny Summer! I dont think anyone really says “I am really good at waiting for what I want.” hahaha. I too want it “yesterday, please”. Blessings.

  • Melody i just love this post! I can read 6 million awsome postst about why the ONE is just the next one, but still i cling on to the stupid idea my ex has to be what i planned him to be….(speaking of entitlement).

    My question is: i feel sometimes afraid to let go. Although i know with my mind it is better to trust Loa and to find out if it works, i feel afraid to step into a new world, of trust, confidence and allowing good things to come my way.
    Can you tell us more about that? Big warm hug from a cold Holland.

  • Hi Melody, great post! I was just wondering if you could elaborate on something for me. Though I hope it’s useful for everyone!

    Would a simpler way to understand this be to literally find and focus all my energy and thoughts on things that DO make me happy regardless of whether they’re related to the thing I want, (i.e say I want more money or to be thin & so I focus my thoughts & energy on my studies because they bring me tons of joy), and in turn does that make the manifestations happen because I’m happy now (aka vibing at a high frequency)?

    Or is more work required than that?

    I did the above before on my own relationship and was able to transform it within 3 weeks but I literally focused (forced) every single thought on things that felt good, which was tennis at the time, and take my mind off my relationship. But I didn’t know if that was a fluke or not?

    Elise 🙂 xo

    • I believe this is true. It has helped me. The letting go is very hard but it’s the most crucial step from what I understand.

  • Wow! You are so awesome and full of wisdom. Now I know the answer to the delay in manifesting what I wanted. I have to vibrate to new frequency. Thanks Melanie 🙂

  • Mmm… cinnamon. 🙂

    I love the way you tackle these things. I’m going to have to think about this whole breakfast thing… I don’t think I could ever let my kids eat chocolate cake for breakfast, and I always insist they eat their veggies at dinner before they can have a “treat”. And yes, they gag and complain… but they always eat the veggies. The lure of the rainbow chocolate chip cookie trumps the disgust over the broccoli, I suppose.

    In any case, I’ve always viewed this particular dilemma (the idea that Universe might give you what it chooses rather than what you choose) as being a case of getting what you’re in alignment with rather than what you *think* you want. The Universe always gives us what we’re focused on, consciously or unconsciously. It doesn’t judge, it just delivers. Always.

  • Hi Melody,

    Thanks for another great post! My intuitional side says “Manifesting, yes, lets do it!”, but my rational side always appreciate an intellectual breakdown of how it works, so it can be more supportive of the intuitional side. 🙂

    Have you ever, or would you write a post on how to be able to have trust that what you want is going to come true? LOL… I know perhaps its a personal belief thing, and not a manifesting thing. Absolute trust is the issue I have the most trouble with (and I’m trying to take my own steps in doing my personal work with obvious underlying issues I have with trust).



    • Kara,

      you want to know how LOA fits into our life? it works like a personal gravitational field, pulling/attracting different things to us at different stages in our life.
      stage 1: to figure out what we want. This is where you build your belief and finetune it. Kid stage.
      stage 2: to master our focus, to know what to ask. The maturing stage. your teen to early 20s.
      stage 3 : to enjoy the many facets of being human, to simply receive. adult life.
      stage 4: to return to pure energy form. Die and start over. Let’s ignore this for now.

      you want to know how to use LOA logically?
      step 1: define and finetune your belief. You are likely to build this slowly but once done, certain things will became Fact to you. Some things became possible and some are impossible (to you). What you have created here is personal reality. Each one of us is a master of our own little micro universe.
      (So when LOA experts are talking about changing reality, I believe they are refering to this personal reality specifically.)

      step 2: now that you know what are possible and what’s not. You will decide what you like and dislikes. You defines what is right and wrong and a bunch of other things.
      You will naturally start to ask.

      step 3: and when you ask, you shall receive….something. You see it varies.
      – If you belief is clear and allows easy delivery but your receiveing power is too weak, you won’t get it yet. There will be a delay. If you gives up on while waiting and stop believing you can have it, you are in effect cancelling the order. So you will receive….nothing. In other cases, if you keep changing your mind too quickly, you will receive a lot of those “half delivery”. Either you don’t receive anything because there wasn’t enough time for them to manifest in your reality, or you receive half of what you asked.

      – If your belief is rock solid and your receiving power (attraction power) is strong enough, you will receive what you asked. At least very close to it.

      – If your belief excludes the delivery of what you asked for (you believe you can’t have it), however your receiving power is really strong, you will receive something else, something that you don’t want.

      The trick here is to keep asking and keep receiving. Use the result as feedbacks. If you received something you didn’t ask for, go back to step 1 and check it.
      Then go to step 2 and ask again. This will result in a delivery. As you receive your new “thing”, check it again. Is this closer or further from what you want? Rinse and repeat. This is how you fine tune/align yourself with what you want. If you keep the same belief in step 1, keep asking the same thing in step 2 and expect different result in step 3 then even the almight LOA can’t help you.

      If you want to feel “successful” in life, I’ve found that a good model for you.
      First you should set a far away big goal then break it down to a series of smaller goals. As you pull yourself toward the end goal, you will consistently know what to ask along the way. As you accomplish the small goals, they will give you the mini boosts you need to keep that “flow” feeling going. If something feels wrong, you can adjust accordingly. Using this model also stop you from being distracted/going offtrack. The destination in this model is a tool to make the journey enjoyable.

      If you want to lead a meaningful life (to you of course), I recommend using the same model and start with your life purpose.

      This model should work whether you know about LOA or not.

  • Thanks again Melody Awesomesauce! This question plagues me as well. “You meanie old Universe, I want what I want when I want it and I don’t care! Now I’m gonna throw myself on the floor screaming until I get my way!”
    Trying to tame my inner tantrums, I can tell you folks that the “feel better now” techniques do work, especially because they take yr focus off the crappy situation. You may even be inspired to take action to get to the better place. For instance, I have been struggling with finances, to the point where even though I have 2 jobs I only had $150 left over to feed me and 2 kids each month. I was inspired to bite the bullet and file a 2nd bankruptcy, then I decided to go back to school and have been receiving financial aid. The picture still isn’t perfect because I’m paying off old debt with new debt, but at least I feel a little better. Still waiting for the “free money” though – money I don’t have to pay back or necessarily “work” for! Letting go is work LOL!

  • WOW…amazing post once again that answered my questions at the perfect time! I would love to hear more of your view on parenting though. I am having some issues with putting my 2 year old in a daycare. I think it all comes down to trusting that he is completely safe and taken care of…even when he is not with me. Can’t wait to read more of your posts!

    • Susie, your son will be fine in a daycare. He will get the chance to socialize with other kids his age. Just visit the ones you are thinking about sending him to, and if the vibe doesn’t match, keep searching until you are comfortable. Bring him along too to see how he likes the teachers and environment. If a family member or friend can’t babysit, a reputable daycare is the next best thing. Try to talk to the other parents that send their kids there and get their feedback too. A lot of churches also have cheap decent care. Good luck!

  • Another amazing post, amazing Melody! You’re just lovely! Thank you so much for being so down to earth and explaining things such a simple way. Sending a big tight polar bear hug your way..

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