Awesome Cristine’s Burning Question: “I have a question about being proud and staying humble. I grew up in a somewhat religious environment where humility is a virtue and pride is a sin. So whenever I visualize myself being successful and getting what I want, and also helping others and maybe inspiring them, I feel that I become proud of my accomplishments and I want people to know how proud I am of all these. But then years of upbringing would kick in and a voice in my head will say, you must stay humble to be able to get to where you want to be. I know the Universe does not make judgments. But is it okay to feel that sense of pride whenever I visualize that I am getting what I want? Is it ok to feel that people are looking at me and thinking to themselves how successful I have become?”

Dear Awesome Cristine,

Pride cometh before the fall. It is your job to stay small and humble and not make any waves. For God’s sake, don’t break free from the pack of lemmings and stand out from the crowd and do something spectacular that you and others can be proud of. Be mediocre. Be “normal”. Be quiet.

That was obviously sarcasm. The idea that pride is somehow sinful, that it is detrimental to your soul, is pure and utter (say it with me now…) Bullshit. Pride is a good thing, and I’m going to do my best in today’s post to explain exactly how and why that is so.

What exactly is pride?

The official definition of pride (according to the Google) is: a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Good God, religion’s right. That’s just pure evil, isn’t it? I mean, how could you possibly justify feeling pleasure in something YOU, or someone you love did? No, no, no. You’re just supposed to judge yourself and hate yourself and remind yourself daily that you’re not good enough for the Lord. Shit. The sarcasm just keeps squishing out.

I like this definition of pride. It is, indeed, a feeling of deep pleasure and satisfaction, felt while focusing on yourself, or something deeply connected to you. But why would the religion of Christianity (and a few others) have an issue with this? Is it really just all a plot to keep you small, or was there, at least at some point, an actual vibrational reason for deterring people from the feeling of pride?

I choose to think it’s the latter. I believe that a vibrationally sound idea got misunderstood and twisted and then perpetuated in its adulterated form. And generations later, there you are, struggling to conform to the equivalent of a mistranslation that no one was willing to challenge and clear up.

Pride’s darker cousin

Pride is not the culprit. True pride, as defined above, is a wonderful, positive feeling. But, there are other, darker feelings that can masquerade as pride, which may not serve you as well.

The most common of these negative feelings is insecurity, which can manifest as something that looks at bit like pride, but doesn’t feel anything like it. Let’s say that you’re terribly insecure. You’ve been taught to believe that you’re not good enough. Now, since there’s a big part of you that knows this to be utter crap, you’re going to constantly be reaching for a better feeling. The problem is, you don’t know how. While you really want to just be Who You Really Are, you’re much too afraid to, so you do your best to find relief in ways that conform to your twisted beliefs. You seek validation at every turn. You become hyper competitive, trying to outdo all those around you in an attempt to prove your value. If you’re the best at something, they’ll have to acknowledge that you’re just as good as them, right? You also tend to trumpet your accomplishments as loudly as you can, in the hopes that someone will take notice and declare you to be sufficient.

This is not pride. This is massive insecurity, and it makes everyone uncomfortable. You’re not celebrating your accomplishments; you’re desperately seeking approval and recognition, while your vibration won’t let anything close to that into your experience. You’re imploring people to validate you while simultaneously making it impossible for them to do so. It’s exhausting to be around a person like that. Others might call you proud or arrogant or conceited. But that’s not accurate. What you really are is insecure. I believe THIS is the (false) meaning of pride that the whole Seven Deadly thingy was based on. There’s usually a kernel of “truth” in everything that’s stuck around for ages. If there wasn’t, it wouldn’t have lasted that long.

True Pride

True pride has nothing to do with insecurity. It’s all about celebration. It’s about appreciation. It’s about gratitude. It’s about acknowledging the magnificence of God’s creation (you) and more of that creation through you. It’s about celebrating the creation and the creator. It is, in its purest form, a conscious acknowledgement of the magnificence of God. To deny that magnificence in any form, including your own, should be considered the “sin” (if such a thing as sins existed, which they don’t, since there is no judgment).

If you have followed your passion (that’s how the Universe/God calls you), and you have created something that brings you joy, I would say it’s not only ok, but it’s actually your freaking duty to celebrate the crap out of it. How could you not? When you understand that the feeling of joy (or relief, depending where you are on the emotional scale) is how the Universe lets you know where to point your focus in order to live out your highest potential (be all that you can be, providing the most possible value to yourself and everyone/thing else), then you understand that accomplishing something that represents that joy (or even just thinking about it), deserves nothing less than to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Why some people have a problem with true pride

“Ok,” I can hear you saying, “I accept your definition of true pride. But there are people out there who react badly to true celebration. They poo poo our joy! How do we deal with THAT, hmmm?” First of all, nice usage of the term “poo poo” (you should be proud).

So yes, there will be those who will see your genuine pride, your celebration of the magnificence of God/the Universe/All That Is, with all its high vibration, and they will insist that you’re going to hell. These people are wrong. They are also doing nothing more than showing you how they feel about themselves. You see, they would like to celebrate the glory that lives within them too, but they have this ugly little belief that won’t let them. And that hurts. When they see you reveling in your awesomeness, they feel a deep yearning to do the same, triggering their pain. They now have two choices – they can either allow themselves to also move toward joy, or they can poo poo yours. For a lot of people, the idea of stepping into their own greatness is too scary, so they choose the latter option.

People who crap all over your joy, are afraid of their own joy. Their judgment says more about them than about you.

What goes wrong here is not that they’re having that reaction. Their reaction is honest; it’s simply demonstrating their own fears. The problem arises when you decide that their opinion (based on their fears, not on what is actually “right”) is worth more than your own. When you determine that how they feel is more important than how you feel, that you can actually make them feel better by keeping yourself small (you can, but only temporarily. VERY temporarily. That’s why they have to keep coming up with more rules by which to judge you), you end up giving away all your power. Every time.

Be proud!

Here are a few choice words you can use the next time someone advises you about the dangers of pride: “I am merely celebrating God’s creations, of which I am one. I believe God created me and creates through me, and the feeling of joy is my compass, telling me where to go and how to best express those creations. I also believe that to NOT celebrate those creations is a kind of denial of God’s magnificence. So, how can I not be proud of God?” Then stand back and watch their beliefs, and possibly their heads, implode.

Of course, you actually do have to be celebrating. If you are merely pretending to be proud, but are actually seeking acknowledgment or validation, you’re going to come off as a fake, condescending douche. And no one wants that. So, once again, it all comes down to how you feel. Are you feeling giddy, unable to contain your happiness, dancing about and asking others to join you in your celebration? You’re exhibiting true pride. Are you bragging, feeling needy and desperate and more than a little frustrated, insisting that others acknowledge your creation and finally validate that you are, indeed, good enough? That’s insecurity.

The beauty of all this is that once you become comfortable with true pride, you won’t have to deal with those who don’t get it anymore. You’ll attract only those who will celebrate with you, who will understand that focusing on yourself in a way that feels really good will only lead to more awesomeness, more expressions of joy, and will happily cheer you on in that endeavor.

Like this, for example: You Go Girl!!! Go Awesome Cristine! Get down with yo bad self! Be the inspiration to others that you know you’ve come here to be. Don’t diminish that light even for a second. Shine it brightly, point it out to others and let those who are ready for it, be lit up by it, causing them to shine their lights as brightly as possible, as well. And when you encounter those who aren’t ready for it, know that keeping yourself small to make them a little less uncomfortable serves no one. They are merely there to help strengthen your resolve, to help you shine your light even brighter. You are a unique creation of God, an expression of God, a piece of God, here to experience yourself and your creations as a means to express and add to the infinite magnificence of the Universe. How could you be anything but proud of that?