Ok, so today’s post is going to be something a bit different (read: totally different). I did my first ever liver flush on Monday night this week, and then I got so excited about the results, that I posted on Facebook (are you following me on Facebook? That’s where you get all of the weird and wonderful details…), and people apparently totally want to hear about these kinds of topics on the blog (at least some of you do), so here we are. But when I set out to write this post, I realized I was going to have to explain why I had done the flush in the first place, and that led me to the epiphany that it was time. I’ve known for a few weeks now that I was working my way into a whole new level of authenticity, one where I was willing to be a great deal more vulnerable than I’ve ever been before. And because I’m in the process of taking my business to a whole new level, the next step is to be vulnerable publicly. It’s time. And yes, I’m nervous. I know that I have an amazing audience. I know that most of you don’t expect me to be perfect and even quite like it when I reveal that I’m not. I know that most of you will embrace this vulnerability as a chance to give yourselves permission to do the same. And still, I’m nervous. Because once I rip back this curtain, there’s no going back.

While I haven’t exactly tried to make out that I’m issue free (I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not), I’ve focused mostly on talking about resistance that I’ve already overcome. I don’t tend to discuss things I’m currently experiencing, because I don’t want anyone to put any more focus on the problem. And yet, I think I can do better. If I am to continue to fully step into my power, if I want to continue to evolve, I have to follow my intuition and step out of my comfort zone, once again. I have to share more of myself with you and take the risk that comes with that. Intellectually, I know it’s not much of a risk (because other people’s opinions don’t matter; plus, you people are awesome), but emotionally, my knees are shaking a bit. And I suppose, I wouldn’t be fully authentic if I didn’t disclose that bit of fear to you, as well.

Although I’ve known for a few weeks that some kind of big, vulnerable post was coming soon, I think the final push came when another coach recently said to me: “It’s ok to evolve in public.” That hit home. I don’t want to hide my evolutionary process from you (not that I really could. Check out my first few posts to see what I mean. It’s night and day…). I think you’ll benefit so much more if I draw back that curtain and give you a much better view of the messy process of becoming enlightened. So, here goes:

My “other” passion

I have many passions. LOA is one (the main one, the big Kahuna), nutrition and health is another. The main reason that nutrition and health are a passion of mine, though, is that I’ve been struggling with my weight all of my life. Now, as many of you know, I was able to release about 100 pounds of weight a couple of years ago. This was a glorious achievement, and I was sure that I’d finally conquered the mountain. Only, to be totally honest with you, I hadn’t. Like an LOA newbie, I had focused entirely on the weight loss as the goal, instead of it being a means to an end. So, when I finally got into my skinny jeans, I realized, to my horror, that I wasn’t “done”. I still had a massive fear of gaining it all back. I wasn’t FREE. I hadn’t truly stepped into a reality where I was a thin person. I was just a fat person who’d lost some weight. That’s not the same thing at all.

Humbled by my realization (I should know better, after all, but then we all have at least one issue that makes us totally blind), I set out to do it the “right” way, by getting in touch with the fears that were still left, and learning how to become truly and finally free. I can laugh at this now, but I honestly thought it might take me a few weeks or maybe a couple of months to get the rest of the story (after all, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t found any pieces of the puzzle, I was just missing a few), so I decided to just not write about weight for a little while, and let it all come together. I had announced that I was writing a weight loss book, and by golly, I was going to do just that. No one had to know that I hadn’t actually quite yet found the Holy Grail, right? After all, it was only going to take a little while. Only, that was two years ago. And I’ve been receiving massive amounts of insights ever since. I decided to make 2013 the year that I concentrate on the physical body, and I’ve filled pages and pages in my journal with powerful realizations. I keep thinking I’ve got it, only to find out that there’s even more to be downloaded.  My journey wasn’t nearly over, and it still isn’t, although I’ve come a long, LONG way in the last couple of years. I may not have all the answers, but I have a lot of them, certainly a lot more than I had two years ago. Why does that make me feel vulnerable, you might ask?

As part of this journey, as part of my path, I had to have a few more major realizations, one in particular. It’s one that the Universe has been trying to teach me in various ways since I was a child, and one that I have been stubbornly refusing to accept. It flies in the face of all conventional wisdom, everything I’ve ever been taught about weight loss, and I just couldn’t get my logical mind around it. Until, the Universe finally bitch slapped me hard enough to really get my attention and I had no choice.

There I was, eating my mostly raw vegan diet (not designed for weight loss, just because I was intuitively led to it). I was on about 800-1500 calories a day, with moderate exercise (a bit of Yoga, a bit of walking, but no more 3 hour daily stints in the gym). My diet hadn’t changed much for several months and my weight had stayed steady. I’d stopped weighing myself (after all, how much we weigh is not important, otherwise we could just chop off a limb. It’s just a means to an end), and considering how I was eating, weight gain wasn’t really a threat. But then, suddenly, I put on 40 pounds. In a month. Just like that. I hadn’t pigged out, I hadn’t upped my caloric intake. In fact, I’d actually largely lost my appetite for a few weeks and had been eating less. My body had simply decided to hold on to more weight, and my jeans didn’t fit anymore.

I. Freaked. Out.

I don’t mean that I was a bit shocked. I mean, I had one of the biggest anger releases of my life. I raged against the Universe, my body, the unfairness of it all, the beauty standard, the people from my childhood who had convinced me I was fat long before I actually was, the gym teachers who had turned physical exercise into a hated and humiliating experience, the diet industry, every diet book I’d ever read, every unknowledgeable practitioner, doctor and nutritionist I’d ever been to. I’d been sick, I’d recovered, I’d lost weight, I’d paid my dues! How could my body betray me like this, once again?!

After I’d finally let go of the majority of the anger, a quiet voice seemed to whisper in the darkness: It’s not about the food. You see, this wasn’t the first time this had happened to me. I’d had unexplained (according to medical science) weight gains before, even while on an incredibly strict regimen. Science’s answer after reviewing my eating and workout plan? “You must be lying about what you’re eating. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.” Only, I wasn’t lying. I was micromanaging every gram of nutrition that went into my body. I was working out like a mad woman, six days a week. I was perfect on paper. And it wasn’t working. And once again, that little voice: It’s not about the food. But this time, I finally began to hear it. For the first time in my life, I really, truly got it. It’s not about the food. It’s not about the exercise. My body could put on 20 pounds in a month with no extra calories. And then do it again. No one could explain it to me scientifically, but here I was, hauling around the proof on my ass. It’s not about the food.

The real journey

When I finally accepted this insight, this paradigm, it opened me up to the possibility of figuring out what it was truly about. Sure, sure, it’s about the energy, the emotion, blah, blah, blah. But how do you actually apply that? What does that really mean? How do you use that to get your damn body to conform to what you want (and no, I can’t cover all that in one blog post, but I will be writing about this more and more in the weeks and months to come)?

I began to meditate a little differently on this topic. I asked myself, what is it that you really want? Why do you want to lose weight? I dug deeper than I ever head. I finally applied my own process to myself (like I said, we all have that one issue). I lined myself up with the feeling I wanted to achieve, something I’d never been able to achieve before, and then I relaxed and followed my intuition. I’d love to tell you that the weight just magically dropped off the next month. But honestly, if that had happened, I’d have stopped looking for more answers (I know myself, I totally would’ve moved on to a new goal). And, since I always have to explore everything fully so that I can teach it, I had/have a lot of answers to find. So, while everyone I know is telling me that I look thinner (I still don’t weigh myself), and my jeans do feel looser, my skinny jeans lie waiting for me at the bottom of my closet. I no longer need to fit into them (although I truly know that I will).

I’ve finally decided to love my body no matter what. Coming clean to all of you is a part of that. My weight has been the source of my biggest frustration, my biggest pain and my biggest shame. I’m done with that. Or at least (because I know I’ve made that statement before, and I wasn’t done), I’m a lot more done than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I don’t need to be at my goal size in order to feel good, to be happy, or to experience ANYTHING I want to experience. I no longer judge myself, and so I’m not all that concerned anymore about being judged by others (although some nervousness still remains). The freedom that comes with that is enormous. And being able to publicly declare this is a huge nail in the coffin of my past insecurities.

Of course, as soon as I managed to feel good no matter what, my body started talking to me. Ok, it had been talking to me all my life, but I hadn’t been listening. I thought it was the enemy. I’d made peace with it to various degrees over the years, but suddenly, my body was my partner in all this, fully on board and willing to tell me what to do. Holy shit, I’d never considered the idea that I could just ask my body what it needed. I’d been intuitively eating for years, but this took the communication to a whole new level. This went way beyond the apple feeling better to me than the cheese burger. This was full on, one to one communication. And when I asked my body what I needed to do, it told me to check my liver.

“Check your liver”

This took me down a whole new path, one that’s rife with incredible information, and also a whole lot of crap. Ah, God bless the Internet. I realized that as I’d gained weight, I’d also started to feel progressively worse. After tons of research, I became (and still am) absolutely convinced that I’d had a congested liver pretty much all my life. I partially uncovered a blocked memory of a trauma I’d experienced when I was around 2 years old, the emotion of which had been stored in the liver. I believe the energy of my family made me susceptible to this (we all manifest things in our own way, in my family, trauma gets stored in the liver). I managed to manifest a nutritionist that helped a little (my emotional blockage would not allow me to manifest more than a smidgen of a solution at that point), which was enough to bring up the real culprit – the ancient trauma and the beliefs I’d adopted as a result. When I healed that trauma (or at least healed it to the degree that I had access to), options to cleanse the liver in various and effective ways started to flood into my experience.  I’d like to share with you the protocol that I put together for myself thus far. If any part of it resonates with you, then perhaps you’ve found the next step in your journey. If it doesn’t then don’t worry. Focus on what you want to feel, and let yourself be inspired to the appropriate action. It really isn’t about the food, or the exercise. Those are merely reflections of the energy within us. But, when you are drawn to a particular action, go for it. Nothing comes to us by accident. While there is no miracle cure, there is always the next step and one after that.

The magical liver

I’ve done a lot of different cleanses in my life. I’ve been a big believer in getting rid of toxins for years now, and fully support the idea that as we raise our vibration, we will be inspired to clean our bodies up so they can keep up with our energetic selves. Where limiting beliefs clog up the mind, toxins clog up the body, and are often representative of our resistance. So, getting rid of toxins can not only make it easier to raise our vibrations, it may well be a necessity. For thousands of years, mystics and spiritual teachers have sworn by the effects of fasting. Fasting is a great way to detox. There are, of course, other methods.

With all the detoxing I’ve done, however, I never really paid any special attention to the biggest detox organ of them all: the liver. I clearly wasn’t ready. Had I known about the importance of the liver, I’d have gone after it with my usual vengeance. But that would’ve brought up the emotional issues I wasn’t yet ready to deal with.

Since I’m not a doctor, I’m not going to do a full recap of the hundreds of functions that the liver is responsible for in this post. If you’d like to learn more about this vital organ, you can do so here. I’m going to focus on the bits that are important to the topic at hand.

The liver regulates most chemical levels in the blood and excretes a super alkaline substance called bile (it’s yellowy green), which helps carry away waste and break down fats in the small intestine during digestion. All the blood leaving the stomach and intestines passes through the liver. The liver processes this blood (clears out the poisonous substances) and breaks down the nutrients (and drugs) into forms that the rest of the body can use. In other words, the only reason the toxins in our food and environment don’t kill us, is because the liver manages to filter them out and neutralize them.

Now, imagine that the liver isn’t working at 100%. You’d think that doctors would be all over that shit, right? Turns out, no. They only get involved when the liver is already at least 70% compromised. In other words, if your liver is not functioning optimally, it will still show up as A-OK on medical tests. You’ll feel like crap, but that’s not considered a relevant variable. I’m not telling you this to be snarky, I promise. I’m merely pointing out that medical science only checks for very specific parameters. Just because they say that everything is fine, doesn’t mean it is (and just because they say things are not fine, doesn’t mean they aren’t). Go with how you feel. Your body knows what it’s doing (this is what my body wants your body to know. And yes, I know that sounds kind of dirty. You’re welcome.)

So there you are with a clogged up (i.e. congested) liver, which is struggling to filter out the toxins in your blood. Depending on your own situation and energy, eating a super clean diet and living well may not be enough for the liver to fully recover. But there are things you can do to assist it with its cleansing process (once you’re ready to uncover the emotions that will release, of course).

I’m going to share some of these techniques with you… on Monday. I know, I totally suck. But honestly, I know that for many of you, this is Thanksgiving, and the next part of this post is going to be, well, gross. You don’t want to be reading the part of my journal (which I’ll be sharing with you), that talks explicitly about things that go on in the bathroom. That’s just not polite dinner conversation. Also, because it’s my journal, there will be a lot of cursing. You’ve been warned (or titillated. You know who you are).

Phew!

So, there you have it. I’ve pulled back the curtain and shared like never before. I have to tell you, it’s been strangely cathartic. And not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I’m no longer nervous about publishing this. I’m no longer afraid of disappointing you. If seeing my imperfect side, if realizing that just because I’m able to channel information doesn’t mean I’m automatically a master at applying it in all areas of my life, causes you to unfollow me or unlike me or tsk and shake your head at me, then I was never really the right teacher for you to begin with. But maybe, just maybe, my willingness to put myself out there, warts and all, vulnerable and exposed, will give some of you the courage to do the same. Because I promise you, I’m still here. I’m standing. And I’m no worse for the wear. In fact, I’m better.

Additional note of celebration: Today is my birthday (it’s really no coincidence that this post is coming out today…), and I’m getting ready to fly off to the island of Ibiza tomorrow morning, to spend a long, girly weekend of celebration, food and energy work with mah ladies. All I want for my birthday is that you perhaps share something of yourself in the comments, something authentic, maybe a little vulnerable. See how it feels. Take the leap. I promise, you’ll feel stronger for it.

Second note of celebration: Because this is also Thanksgiving in the US, and because of this post, I can’t think of a better day to thank all of you for being here. I know that you think you’ve come here in order to further your own evolution. But really, it’s a co-creation, and you all are helping me with my growth, as well. Today’s post is the perfect example of that. By providing me with the forum in which I can share so openly, so vulnerably, so authentically, you are giving me the opportunity to release my fear and expand my energy to new levels. I can’t even find the words to thank you enough or to express the incredible love I feel for all of you right now. You’re not here by accident. And neither am I. As Abraham says, “We’re all in this together”. And we really, really are. Thank you.

Oh my freaking God, I can’t wait to read your comments.

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  • Thank you for your transparency. It helps (has helped) me in ways I cannot describe here. I now even give myself a permission to have bad days and cry when I feel like it. You are brilliant (you know you are), Melody.
    (I personally wish I could see more video blogs, as hearing your voice and seeing your beautiful face are always refreshing…).

  • I am so behind on reading your posts! I am currently playing catch up though. I just wanted to comment really quick and wish you a very, very happy belated birthday! I hope it was as awesome as you are! 🙂

  • My mother’s 100th birthday was the 29th of November and she died 6 years ago, but I felt the need to just be with thoughts of her for several days and now have let go.

    I share vulnerable parts of myself all the time, all the time. I seem to be constantly hoping for the revealing words I need to hear myself say. I switched from writing a journal to dictating without adding grammar, and I started to hear more and more. I can go nearly all day without eating and I usually write better when I fast. I am doing 3 hours of exercise a day right now with no weight loss at all – building lots of energy and moving inflammation from tough spots, but when I am cold I get so hungry, I think I could eat a horse ( so I measure my portions)

    I have done liver cleanses twice in my 64 years and they have both be very good experiences.

    I so hate it when I am sharing a vulnerable point and the listener says – you have invaded my boundaries…talking to the computer has been more helpful.

    Hope you had a great time on the island with your ladies…and excited about your thoughts of moving. Many, many of my friends are moving to islands the last few years.

    Two things I want that I know of – 1. to be able to walk into a store to purchase a shirt or jeans and there is a good selection to chose from – not just the shirt or jeans 1 kind which will fit my upper arms and thighs (It would also mean that the inflammation was gone in my arms and legs. and -2. to be rewarded with money for my excellent work

    Being with my children this past week, I know I do not want to be a health or financial burden to them ever….My partner must keep working until age 76 at this point – politics do make a difference the sequester and the Gov. shut down…that is what trickles down to us….used up all our savings. Talk about feeling vulnerable – living it everyday

  • Happy late birthday, Melody! I have absolutely loved reading your blog over the last fee months and have truly learned more applicable insights here, than from a dozen LOA books put together. I adore that you share a birthday with my son, Maximus…just warms a Mama’s heart when someone so wonderful celebrates on the same day as their baby:)
    Your vulnerability is beautiful (and your cursing is the BEST).
    So much love to you and all the joy your heart can hold.
    Xo

  • OMG…I am late reading your blog today. So HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY?? It’s weird because I decided to get back to intermittnet fasting. And I’m in hour 14 or so… I feel absolutely on cloud nine. The beauty and clarity that comes with a fast (that isnt’ forced but natural) feels so good to the soul. I remember when I first began reading your blogs, I was (and still am) overly concerned with my weight. I go through these seasons where I accept myself as I am, then I begin to seek enjoyment through food and gain weight and the vicious cycle continues. I remember when you first mentioned a weightloss book and I was beside myself waiting for you to write it. Some where along the way, I realized that I am not supposed to follow any regimen, routine, weightloss plan, exercise plan other than what comes from inside myself.

    I so applaud you for being so vulnerable and being you…

    Love, Hugs and Kisses

    Kim

  • Happy Birthday Sweetie!
    We never get it finished and we never get it done! :Abe
    so of course you too are still on your journey, and we who vibe with you, get to share it with you!!
    All of our ‘vulnerabilities’ arise from dissonance; thinking we should be better, nicer, smarter, successfuller etc than we perceive ourselves to already be; wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just all got off our own cases!! (And saw ourselves as Source sees us..)
    Love you all!

    • Lao Tzu agrees with you nay.
      Perpetual Grow is as big a trap as Hope and Fear.
      They are all illusions we created.
      They are secondary to who we really are.

  • All of you have so many good thoughts, and once again I am beginning to feel like I belong. The predominant feeling associated with my previously mentioned self imposed isolation is that of not belonging, not having my herd, being the outcast wolf still trying to find my way back into the pack. We can survive in isolation, but we cannot thrive. I recall years ago when I was first beginning with journal writing, I lived alone, but had family members who came to visit often. I used to burn my journal writings (this was before I had a computer) because I was too afraid someone would read what I had written. As I look back on those handwritten pages now, the ones which were ultimately not destroyed, they continue to reveal truths to me. In my career as well, I have always been afraid to put myself out there.

    My struggling this past 10 years has not been about money, but it has manifested in just being able to survive. I keep wondering how I can have all of the spiritual truths I presently experience, all the years of being on my inner path and to have this type of manifestation at this point in my life does not make sense to me. I judge myself harshly because of this manifestation of lack. I am going to continue to follow your teachings and keep reminding myself that my thoughts are real, the words I think and say are living words and they create or draw to me my life’s experience now and in the future.

    When I saw Melody’s post about the liver cleanse, it resonated so profoundly with me, I could not get here fast enough. And underlying all of it, the manifestation may be that my liver needs cleansing, but ultimately I am led back to my spiritual journey and a place where I feel I belong. My liver is masculine by the way. It told me that right after reading this blog. I asked it, my liver, what it wanted from me. The answer it gave me was “quiet” foods. Things are definitely changing from the first day, Thanksgiving Day, that I read the post. I definitely know when I am led to quiet foods. I also know when I am reaching for stormy foods. I can almost feel the good or bad vibration by thinking about a particular food.

    Thank you one and all. I can’t wait to see what you share next. Kay

    Allowing time for me has not been easy. I am giving myself permission to do that again now. Thank you, Melody, and all of you for your posts. Kay

    • Hi Kay,

      I love your description of quiet and stormy foods, thats such a wonderful way of relating to them! Keep up the good work 🙂

      Sarah

      • Thanks, Sarah. I haven’t been out here since the 1st, and am back again enjoying and being reminded of the spiritual food available here. Thanks! Kay

  • Oh Melody you are fab!!! I think its adorable that you thought we all believed you to be faultless and perfect…so cute… 😉

    Congratulations on your mega break through! Keep rolling with that shit, you’re doing amazing stuff for yourself and all of us!!

    My little bit of authentic revelation goes like this;

    throughout my life my weight has been very closely linked to my mental state, so when I have gone through periods of depression I have gained lots of weight, at my heaviest I was about 100kgs (220lbs), at the beginning of 2012 I decided to change my useless usual New Years resolution bullshit and just focus on one thing that was really important to me (instead of a million impossible to achieve mini goals), so I decided that at that point in time the most important thing to me was HEALTH, I let that one word be the guiding principle of all my decisions, this included mental health, emotional health, spiritual health and yes physical health. So even without focusing on weight loss I promptly lost over 30kgs (66lbs) and became fitter, stronger, more flexible, and happier than I have ever been. Don’t get me wrong I had a heap of shit come up that needed to be dealt with along the way, lifetimes of baggage that was resisting the expression of my healthy awesomeness, but like you I did the work as best I could, rolled up my sleeves and cracked on.

    Now I am certainly not the thinnest I have ever been, and I’ve had 3 kids so I have stretch marks and loose skin and all kinds of stuff, but I am the most comfortable in my body that I have ever been and I am so proud of and impressed by my body and its transformation and ability to respond. Plus I think I am totally a sexy bitch now, I am having the most amazing love affair with myself, and why the hell not!?!

    I totally applaud you for putting yourself out there and being courageous enough to be vulnerable and authentic. Have an awesome birthday you saucy minx!!!!!!!

  • Happy Birthday Meldoy!
    Mine was just a week before yours! I have only just found your blog – when I was looking for ways help me stay grounded & shield negative energy. I have since become crazy about you and am catching up on all your previous blog posts. I come to help lift my energy. Your blunt sarcasm resonates with me perfectly.

    Your present: My block (that I realized while reading your post) is not weight, but money – it has been for quite sometime. I used LOA in the past & have found it again recently. It feels really good to be back with it – like this time I’m going to get it, but more importantly I’ve been learning to love the journey and live with gratitude. It’s a work in progress, but it’s been so much fun!

    Love, Light, Sunshine, & rainbows to you!

    Thank you for all your posts & opening up in this one! It’ll do a body good 🙂

  • I am so excited for Monday’s post! I appreciate your encouragement to use the comment section as a way to dip our toe in the water of being publicly vulnerable, but I’m not there just yet. Wait… Maybe I can at least share that earlier this year I did some one-to-one work with you. Part of the process involves sending you a picture of me, which I did… But it was Photoshopped. (For those reading this, I told Mel it was an edited photo). Anyhoo – I’ve had digestion problems for more than a decade. This year, I’ve had TREMENDOUS spiritual growth. No matter the magnitude of positive changes within me and my life… The digestion issue slowly worsens and my stamina has steadily declined. I have tried every type of Dr, healer, and special diet under the sun. Usually, I see a small improvement for a short time…only to have the symptoms return and continue their slow worsening. Within the last few days I’ve been inspired to consider my liver as the source of my ailments and BAM! Your post comes along, just as you always do, Melody… With incredibly timely insights. Thank you. I look forward to hearing about your journey as a way to create a road map for myself 🙂

  • Lots of love to you for freeing yourself of fear! Will be reading your next posts very closely, as I’m also in my path cleansing my liver (and entire digestive system, for that matter!). Thank you very much for sharing your experience! 🙂

  • Happy, Happy Birthday, Melody. I hope you have a fantastic day, though I don’t doubt you will. 😉
    Thank you for being a beam of sunshine in my world and keeping me motivated to shine myself out into this world. Sending positive energy to your liver.

    XO
    Kelly

  • Hi Melody! I just finished reading part 1 of your cleansing blog and I am anxious for part 2. I pause before wishing you a Happy, Shiny, whatever-you-want-or-need B Day ,( and all the days and years after), to really feel my wish for you. I am sure you pause and feel before sending your blogs, etc. to us all as well. God I could spend hours talking with you! 9-1/2 out of 10 times you hit on something just like what I am thinking or feeling. I was inspired recently to try a different place to pick up dinner on my way home. When I came home I received your blog post mentioning the Matrix, and Neo. “O.M.F.G.”! Right next to me was a bottle with the name of the place I visited- Kafe Neo! And today, before reading this blog post I was thinking to ask for your thoughts on what I am going through. I try to stay positive and happy and follow LOA guides, ‘however’, often people piss me off, make me feel invisible even when I am right in front of them. In a nutshell I have no family, no really close friends, being Gay I have to stay in boundaries with most people I am friendly with for my sake and theirs, and I am still struggling at 55 to attract a romantic relationship. I keep a lot bottled up inside. Is it ok to just let go and get pissed off with people? I have been down that road before and LOA helped me get better. I respect myself, but I have trouble really loving myself. At times anger helps me to feel respected. (P.S. Already tried chocolate and ice cream)

    • Hi Jai! I’d like to offer a thought I had on your comment?
      “People make me feel invisible..”; as Melody has taught us, the Universe is mirroring your vibe back to you, so maybe you are already feeling invisible/not worth seeing etc
      Maybe this will help, Best wishes, Nay

  • Thanks Mel,
    As my life is full of synchronicity I should not be surprised by your post. I have been drawn to the liver in the past few months (not as an entre…) I have a few supplements but am really looking forward to hearing more about your personal experience on Monday. Bless you for sharing this information. They say that when the student is ready…….well you know the rest. I feel like this is one of those moments of readiness.
    Patiently waiting your blog next week.
    Have a fabulous birthday !!

  • Thank you so much for this post. It’s encouraging and helpful to see your vulnerabilities and how you work through them. I am currently and have been for several years, in a long distance, online relationship with someone who I love very much and I know will be my future husband. Not only that, but his sister is my best friend and I really connect with their entire family. We have yet to successfully see each other (although we’ve had many failed attempts) and reading your blog has helped me to try and work through this a little. It’s very hard for me to tell people I’m in this relationship – being totally vulnerable right now – because I’m afraid of their reactions. I’ve gotten a lot better and have told several friends, but I’d still like to be even more open about it, and see him of course!

    Have you ever done a post on online dating/relationships?

    Thanks again for this wonderful blog 🙂

  • Happy belated Birthday, Melody!!! Thank you so much for all the sharing you do in your blog. Your insights, written in a most awesome way, have helped light the way to continued growth . I can relate to your posts in so many ways and thank you so much! I look forward to each one! 😀

  • Happy, belated birthday Melody! For some reason, I only get to see your new posts Tuesdays and Fridays. Wonder if it’s the same for everyone else in the UK? Is there a setting perhaps? I need you Mondays baby 🙂

    At any rate – a most beautiful, joyous, happy, healthy, blessed birthday. If I think of all the ways you helped me make sense of my awakening, turned it into a functional, every-day application in my life, my heart expands and tears well up.

    Thank you Melody. Thank you for being you. Thank you for your sense of humor, your candor, your simplification of LOA into daily life. Thank you for showing up precisely when I needed you the most. Thank you for helping me find the light within me. Thank you for not being perfect or sanctimonious in that way that some teachers can be. Thank you for your bitch-slaps, your soapbox and your titillating swearing. I will never be able to thank you enough for helping me truly understand the concept of vibration. It helped discover my innate power. I can see what I am offering Life and aligned or misaligned, it empowers me no end because I can change it. I listen to my inner life and there is just a quiet whirring – the warring factions are finally mostly united. There is still some misalignment but the overwhelm is gone.

    Have a great holiday. Be well and truly blessed. I’d ask you to marry me but I think Rose is first in line 🙂

    xx

    • One realization I had just awhile ago regarding the weight I want to shift is how I’ve been attaching conditions to how and when the weight-loss will come about. It really is not so much about the food and the exercise, though these help different people in different ways, which is perhaps the key thing to understand.

      I realized this when I found myself berating myself for not fancying the gym one evening and I was giving myself a hard-time for not being strict enough. It made me understand that in my mind, I had attached a condition to weight-loss that unless I went to the gym x many times, I wouldn’t lose any weight. Stopped me dead in my tracks. I realized how many other conditions I had attached to this i.e. what foods I must eat/what exercise regimens work the best… this is the only way I could allow myself to receive weight-loss. Through such hard work and misery. How awful.

      How many times do we force ourselves to eat foods we know innately we don’t enjoy or try new workouts that only bring us grief and misery, because they work for others? How does this affect our vibration?

      Really the question we should ask ourselves about what to eat or what exercise is best is as Melody says -‘does this feel good to me?’. Enjoyment (which leads effortlessly into appreciation) must be the bigger motivation of both what to eat and how to exercise. Some people never step foot into a gym but they love walks in nature and get their exercise that way. Some people are natural-born runners and they enjoy it while others like me loathe it with a passion. Yet I forced myself for awhile to run 45-60mins on the treadmill 4-5 days a week and the less weight I lost, the more frustrated, angry and savage I became about pushing myself harder. I can’t remember the last time I felt a sense of enjoyment about what I was doing at the gym. My body must have only listened to that vibration and I went from only needing to lose 5 kilos to 14….

      One could argue that by this reckoning it would be easy to just pig out on junk food because it feels good but I believe otherwise. One can fool others but never oneself – if that doughnut doesn’t feel good, you will feel it with every bite. You will know it and it will trigger some self-loathing which perpetuates the cycle all over again. When I crave what passes for junk, I decide to make it myself. if I want a doughnut, I will make it myself from scratch. I decide when will be best for me to invest the time and effort needed and I make a loving experience of it. I have fun looking up different recipes and shopping for ingredients. I clean the kitchen first, then put on some music. I take the time to cook it and intuitively, I know how much of anything to put in – I always end up putting less sugar/salt/butter etc than in anything I would buy. I absolutely relish the finished product (and frankly end up scoffing less). I make enough to freeze so I can whip it out when I crave one. You know what – when I buy one from the shop, it ain’t a patch on my ones. There’s always something lacking. Do I do this with all foods? No. But every little helps.

      Ps: I used to joke about my booty which I desired there to be less of. I did that self-deprecating thing that we find so likable in others (why?). Until I realized the kind of talk I had, not just with myself but out loud for all and sundry to hear. I was horrified. I don’t joke about this anymore or make quips about it or fun of it in any way, shape or form, not even with my girlfriends. I don’t ask whether my ass looks big in this type of questions. It took some getting used to but my trousers now thank me for it. Self-talk = vibration.

  • Happy Birthday Melody and have a lovely time in Ibiza. Your post reveals your humanity, humility and beauty like never before. You are an inspiration, dear spirit. Thank you. x

  • Hi Melody

    Wishing you the happiest of happy birthdays! I love your blog and your honest, insightful, tell-it-like-it-is posts. I’ve never commented before but you asked for comments and that’s such an awesome birthday present to ask for that I’m going to go for it 🙂

    I struggle with my weight too. I tell other people, and people I read cards for, how important it is to love your body regardless of size, and I truly think someone who loves themselves glows with a radiance that doesn’t take heed of size or shape. But in private, I don’t love myself for my weight. I have a lot of shameful thoughts about it, and a lot of anger directed at myself for mistreating my body. I feel like it’s impossible to love my body when it’s so fat and I’m so bad at taking care of it.

    I’ve never admitted that publicly before as I’m a very private person.

    Reading your post and seeing that someone I admire and learn a lot from has faced weight related issues recently made me feel that weight related feelings and blocks can happen to anyone at any stage on their LOA journey, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You also reminded me that it’s never too late to tackle it, and that tackling it might be a fun challenge and adventure but it doesn’t have to be scary or shameful.

    Thank you Melody and bright blessings to you!

  • Awesome Birthday Girl Melody Once Again Happy Birthday With HUGE Jumping Joyfully HUGS To You!

    Guys, you know I was the lucky one to wish Melody on her birthday over a phone call… My coaching call was scheduled on a special day…. Yepppppyyyyy 😀

    As far as blog topic is concern I believe we are connected with Awesome Melody because we match our energy with her… The response to this blog itself shows that… Yesterday when I read this blog there were only 5 comments & today when I saw the comments, it exceeded 70…. We all love you Melody (you better agree this guys 😉 )

    Have a wonderful holiday and come back soon 🙂

    Loads of Love & Hugs,
    Sameer (I am more than thankful to you for showing me what’s my purpose in life in yesterdays coaching call – How I can be peaceful)

  • Happy birthday my dear Melody. You inspire millions of people with your writings. I thank you so much. God bless you, dear

  • Happy Birthday, Queen Melody!!!
    I’m happy for you that you’ve made such an important discovery about yourself and then shared this fantastic news with us!!
    And I was going to write some more but my mind has decided it wants to dedicate itself to pondering your post. It’s fickle that way.
    At any rate, I do hope you enjoy your holiday with friends and I look forward to reading Monday’s post where you describe all of the ooey-gooey things that our livers do for a living.
    -muwah! 🙂

  • Hey there Melody,
    First of all big happy birthday hope you have a splendiferous time in Ibiza 🙂
    I’m not a big commenter but I love your blog and I had such a ‘holy crap what a coincidence’ moment that I thought for once I would.
    I’ve been thinking about doing a liver detox for past couple of weeks but finding it hard to pick one with the overwhelming amount of info on the Internet so I’m totally stoked that your going to share yours. There’s my decision made how cool is that.
    I love when stuff shows up right when you need.
    You’re awesome for sharing all you do I really admire that.
    Big hugs,
    Ciara

  • Happy Birthday, Melody. Best wishes for a fabulous trip.
    I appreciate your post so much. Many things have become completely awesome in my life recently, but I’ve felt something needed attention.
    Then comes your post, which left me speechless… uncomfortably speechless. You hit on something that I know now I have to explore. (I just tried my hand at vulnerability and started writing it down, and had to erase it all. Not ready for that yet).
    I deeply appreciate your courage and honesty; it will keep me moving forward, too.

  • YOUR BIRTHDAY IS THE 28TH? My birthday was yesterday, the 27th. I knew we were sisters in multiple ways.

    So you’re Sagittarius. That certainly explains a lot 😀

    ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

  • Thank you times one million. For this and all your other insightful blogging. You came into my life at exactly the right time and ill be forever hooked and trying to hook others. generally successfully! Happy Ibiza birthday!

  • Happy Birthday Melody.
    Thank you for this post, I love when the synchronicities happen…I had been thinking of doing another flush Hulda Clarke one this weekend…am up to my fifth…
    I had a mini heart attack about 2 yrs ago and when having tests for it, was diagnosed with fatty liver disease, pre diabetes (insulin resistance) and high cholesterol…
    Like you I was intuitively led to a vegan diet…I had also found that I had put on weight mainly because I was not getting enough calories, which sent my body into starvation mode and it held onto the fat…I was also eating too much fruit which was messing with my insulin levels…I agree the mind body and spirit connection is so strong…I had read in a Louise hay book that anger is to do with the liver…so have been working on releasing my anger in healthier ways, I also have given myself a bit of a break about it…I have always been a bit too hard on myself…I am learning to love my body just the way it is….I use crystals to help me adventurine I use to support the emotions while I release…
    One interesting thing I have found, because I was always a thin person, that now I am heavier the men that are attracted to me are much more genuine..they like me for me not what I look like…this has totally blown the misconception that I had out of the water that men prefer thin women…best of luck on your flushing journey Melody, I keep a journal when doing the flushes, a lot of stuff seems to come up each time I do one…mind body and spirit…when we change something on on level, it also changes it on the other levels 😉 have fun in ibiza

  • Thank you for sharing your struggle with us, Melody. Even though LOA has helped me to feel better, sometimes I still struggle so much. I find it very hard to be vulnerable (I’m working on that) and I find it inspiring when you and other people are open so publicly like this. 🙂

    I lost some weight earlier this year, I started eating a bit more healthily and eating less fast food but I wasn’t focusing that much on losing weight. I did want to lose some weight but it wasn’t my main focus. Other things are much harder for me to achieve. My weight has gone up and down in the past and although I was pleased to lose some, I then started to worry that I would put it on again and started being paranoid that I looked bigger in pictures. I think I need to not focus on it so much. I believe that it’s not necessarily about the food because last Christmas I worried that I’d eaten too much because I was eating more over Christmas but in the New Year someone asked me if I’d lost weight! I was feeling better in general earlier this year.

    Happy Birthday! Hope you’re having a great day and a great Thanksgiving. Thank you for this site, it’s helped me a lot. 🙂 Enjoy Ibiza!

    Hope other readers celebrating Thanksgiving are also having a great one. 🙂

  • Happy Happy Birthday Melody!! Have a lovely trip,and thank you for this post. @Laetitia-for the past few weeks..maybe months I’ve been feeling a bit like that myself..I couldn’t figure out what it was..I read and watch and love your posts Melody and firmly believe in LOA,and it’s really worked! But,like you and some others have said,sometimes there’s this one thing that gets stuck.I’m an artist,and I can’t seem to getting ahead(for now..I know it’ll get better).I read other artists’ postings,how they’re selling,how many collectors they have ,how many shows they’ve won in..blah blah blah. Commissions come once in a great while for me..(I won a couple of competitions last year and one this year,paintings I’ve entered in shows come back “unsold”,and I only have a couple of part time jobs,so I’m relying on mom and my boyfriend giving me extra money.It’s been bothering me more than I realize that I’m not “bringing in an income” .I know I’m good at my art,and I know there’s some underlying fear..haven’t quite figured out what yet..something that’s blocking my success…feeling a bit worthless,like what’s up..what’s preventing me from”allowing” to have people actually pay for my work.
    Whew..yay got that out…lol…
    Anyway thanks again Melody!! Lots of love and hugs!

  • Happy Birthday, Melody!

    I was thinking just this morning about the “weight” issue (before reading your post), and concluded that the repugnance I have felt at my overweight-ness is that everyone can SEE that I am carrying/taking in more than I “need”! Horrors! Who am I to have more than someone else?
    Generally speaking, that theme carries over into other areas of my thinking, i.e. I am afraid to have “too much” money, “too many” friends, “too much” enthusiasm, “too much” happiness or joy, “too great” a job, “too awesome husband and kids”, just “too much” in general, etc. So – for me, the weight issue is a tip of a belief iceberg that goes something like “I shouldn’t want more, but I do, and if I let myself have more, I will get what’s coming to me, that is, it will make me ugly, repulsive, socially unacceptable, gluttonous, un-spiritual!” (Hmmm….very old Catholic vibe going on here).

    Blah, blah, blah – so much mental justifying going on in the background of my thoughts all the time that simply seeing this goofy pattern for what it is was a relief. And then, ta-dah, your post – which of course is not coincidence but attraction. So, here’s to appreciating the ongoing, easy release of heavy, limiting thoughts and celebrating the through-and-through beauty that is you and me and all of us. May we let our bodies be as unencumbered as our spirits.

    Thanks for the reminder, Melody; may you be uplifted knowing that you are so much more than a size or a weight. : )

  • Happy birthday! 🙂 I wish you the same as the famous Portuguese wine – the Port: The older, the sweeter/tastier/better you are!

    A vulnerable thing: I have been seeing my family trigger each other’s resistance bigtime for years. LOA also helped me deal with that and with my personal triggers, but sometimes is so much that I am afraid that they don’t find peace and happiness. And also me, since I am temporarily and my family’s house and so is my older sister… It’s a phase of transformation for all, I think. But a voice tells me that everything will be alright, when the noise calms down. 🙂 I am just somehow exhausted, and afraid that all of this will delay and impede the process, but then some of your teachings come to mind… 🙂

    Huge hugs!

  • OH Melody, I do not read you as often as I would like but I love you, you make me laugh and really help put all this LOA stuff in such a friendly , useful & funny light. Serendipitous this moment to catch this most recent blog. I too have been doing liver cleanses as part of a plan to revitalize myself. Lose weight of course and freaking FEEL BETTER! The main catalyst was to try yet another remedy for the extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing condition of seborreheic dermatitis. In my case it affects my scalp. To other people it looks like really badass dandruff. According to Louise Hay Heal your Body, “itching” (a major problem with seb derm) is symptomatic of “desires that go against the grain” Remorse.Itching to get out or get away. While eczema( basically the same as dermatitis) is indicative of “breathtaking antagonism. Mental eruptions.” You can imagine where that info took me, being a student of LOA. Lots of introspection, exercise, depression, all sorts of research & supplements, Wow I could go on. Recently I (duh) finally started to address the liver, which has led to the intestines which has led to the kidneys, adrenal gland, the thyroid, cardio vascular all which I thought I had been addressing but not getting the connections or frankly not having the time to do so. I had to stop working. Many factors led up to this but frankly I was exhausted, depressed, anxious & utterly fed up with living. God Bless my beloved sister is all I can say about that now. Great gratitude there. THe liver. We need to be nice to it. Milk Thistle tea on a daily basis is a good place to start. I am not completely well as it is an on-going process but I am better. Looking forward to your detailed blog. Yes Believe me I know it gets really personal about the digestive process and no, Thanksgiving is not the day to go there! God/Goddess Bless & thank you. Love, Ellen

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