Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question: “The one thing I still don’t understand about Law attraction that makes me doubt the whole thing is how LOA relates to fate and predestined things, and so called Pre-Birth Planning, Soul agreements with other people to play out certain scenarios.

I’ve had things predicted years ahead (very specific things, that were not just vague guesses) and they did come true – some of them. How can there be no fated, predestined events if these visions came true? Example: Let’s say I want to get married now. In the pre-birth plan, though, this event was agreed for when I’m 35. With a specific person (soul). Doesn’t this pre-birth plan override LOA? Or does it somehow work hand in hand? But how?  Thank you a lot.”

Dear Awesome Dudette,

So, you want to know if you actually, truly have free will; if all this talk of being an all-powerful creator is just theoretical (aka, if you didn’t have this pesky pre-birth agreement, you could have whatever you want…); if there isn’t some sub-clause to the Law of Attraction that states that like attracts like, as long as it doesn’t violate your pre-determined destiny. While this theory is a convenient way to explain misery – you can’t have what you want because you or someone else decided, before you were even born, that this life was meant to be miserable – it’s just plain wrong.

We do come into this life with a kind of pre-birth plan, as you call it, but it’s not nearly as specific as you seem to think it is. I’ll explain, shall I?

Our Pre-Birth Intentions

Instead of a plan, which is generally quite detailed, let’s call them pre-birth intentions, ok? We do choose a basic THEME for our lives before we come in, and yes, this theme will affect the choices that are available to us to some extent. And we do have agreements with other soul partners, the people who come into our lives in major ways and play with us in either a positive or “negative” way. But none of these intentions and agreements are limiting. Rather, they serve to provide us with a certain environment, a starting point, which we can then choose to explore in any way we decide to.

The themes we choose to explore are usually linked to certain beliefs – for example, we may decide to play with the concept of scarcity. Such an individual would then be born into a society, culture and/or family where the belief of scarcity is very strong. Exploring this theme wouldn’t mean that this person would have to be poor all their lives, although they would probably start off that way. In fact, the whole challenge of the game would be to shift that belief within themselves and, having experienced poverty, which is one side of scarcity, then allow themselves to experience the other side – abundance. HOW the theme of scarcity is experienced is up to the individual. It can be a stressful life, full of worry and hardship, or it can be a wonderful life. The intention determines into what circumstances the individual is born and what beliefs they are therefore exposed to, but what happens from then on, is all up to us.

“But, aren’t circumstances limiting?”, I can hear you asking. Well, no. Unless you believe that they are. If you truly believe that being born into poverty makes it impossible for you to succeed, then it does. And much of the population believes just that. But there are always going to be people who defy that paradigm and become abundant despite a meager upbringing. The reason we find those people so inspirational is because deep down, we know we can all do the same. Our circumstances don’t limit us. Our beliefs do.

What about agreements with other people?

So, what about these agreements with others? If we have a “contract” to marry some dude at 35, doesn’t that preclude free will? Well yes, it would, if we had such a contract. But we don’t. Agreements with others can be somewhat specific – we choose our parents before we come in, for example. And we certainly will have some soul partners who have chosen to either explore the same theme as us, or simply have a very similar core vibration to us, and will therefore come into our lives in a major way. The nature of that relationship and how it plays out, however, is entirely up to our choices.

Let’s look at an example: Bob and Susie have decided to play together in his lifetime. One of the themes that Susie has chosen to explore is abandonment and she’s decided to be born to a father who left right after she was born. Bob has also chosen to experience abandonment, but has manifested that theme in a different way. His family was emotionally absent. Both environments lead to Bob and Susie experiencing very specific aspects of their theme. And, because both have similar vibrations, they will enter each other’s realities in a significant way. In other words, they will have some kind of relationship.

The nature of that relationship and whether or not they actually choose to spend time with one another, will be up to Susie and Bob in their human forms. They might be life-long friends, for example, supporting each other through a series of experiences. They might become lovers who end up demanding that each makes the other feel safe, leading to a torturous existence which finally ends in a horrible, painful breakup. They might get married and cheat on each other. They might meet and decide they hate each other, and while they don’t actually spend much time together, will spend a significant amount of time focusing on one another in a negative way. They might help each other shift their beliefs and live the rest of their lives in authentic, loving bliss. Their “agreement” states that they will mirror their beliefs back to each other. How that will happen and what they will do with that information is determined entirely by the choices they’ve made.

Keeping this in mind, it’s worth recognizing that EVERYONE who comes into your life in a significant way is your soul partner; even those who annoy the crap out of you. This doesn’t just include those who are in your life for years and years, either. Soul partners can come into your life for a short, but significant amount of time and then gravitate right out. Romantic relationships that end horribly but serve as major catalysts for growth usually involve soul partners.

After I cleared a significant issue involving my already deceased grandfather one day, I was a bit shocked to be visited by both my non-physical grandparents, people who had been dysfunctionally married for decades in life, holding hands and acting like the best of friends. They explained to me that they were just that – best friends. Even though their lives together hadn’t exactly been what you’d call blissful, they had come in together to explore some really challenging themes. Of course they were friends. They were partners, soul mates. They had come to play the game together. And now, after death, they understood that it had been a game and, like two actors coming off the stage, held nothing but appreciation for what their characters had done. After all, you don’t hate the dude that plays the bad guy in the movie.

But what about future predictions?

So, if there’s no specific soul plan, then how could someone have predicted some of your life events so specifically? Well, I actually explored predictions in-depth in the following post: Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About Psychics. The gist of it though, is that no one can predict the future. All we can ever do is to read the energy where it is right now, and give you the outcome that you’re most likely to line up with, providing you stay on the same course. The very act of telling you that prediction, however, can change it. Think about it: If I told you that you would win the lottery tomorrow, but you then chose not to buy a ticket, that would change the prediction.

Anyone who predicts your future with accuracy was not reading a soul agreement. They were reading your energy in the moment, and yes, you always have the choice to change that outcome, if you wish. In the example you gave – that you want to get married now, you are not limited to a certain age by your pre-birth agreements. You do, however, still have to be a match to getting married. And, the man you marry will reflect your current vibration. In other words, if you’re currently meeting a bunch of douchebags, maybe don’t marry one. Shift your vibration first and become a match to awesome men, then marry one of those. Yes, this will slow things down a bit, but it’s worth the delay. Someone could then read your energy and see that you are, at your current rate, most likely to shift into a vibration that matches the relationship you truly want, around age 35. And, they could then tell you that this was due to some soul agreement. But that wouldn’t be correct (if it gives you peace to believe this, however, then go for it).

The themes we come to explore

Now, it may seem like the themes we come to explore are all about suffering. But that’s not true. Every theme has two sides. One will be aligned with Who You Really Are, and one will be resistant to Who You Really Are. As in my first example, there’s scarcity and abundance. These are two sides of the same coin. Your challenge is generally going to be to shift from the resistant side of the theme to the aligned one. The more difficult your start in life, the more ambitious you are. The more absence of something you’ve experienced, the more you’ll be able to appreciate its presence. You’ll see details and nuances that others don’t, for example.

Many of us have also come in to shift not only energy for ourselves, but for the whole globe. We take on massive amounts of resistance and do our best to shift it as much as possible. Often, we continue this progression over generations (families can explore certain themes together), with each generation experiencing a bit less of the limiting belief until someone in the lineage finally manages to shift it altogether (many of those final shifts are happening now). Something well worth noting is that, contrary to what many believe, we are not junior souls, here on Earth to learn our lessons. We are master creators, here to set ourselves challenges worthy of our skill. When masters play the game, they don’t want it easy.

It’s through this shifting of energy from lower to higher states that we explore every facet of these vibrations, adding to the experience of the whole – God experiencing herself. We’ve experienced the darkest of energies, the worst possible resistance and have, over time, lifted and shaped the global vibration to where it is today. Sure, there still exists a great deal of contrast, more than at any other time, in fact. The variety of experiences one can have on the Earth today is greater than it’s ever been. But all in all, we have a higher vibration than we’ve ever had. And now, we’re waking up to the knowledge, the memory, of Who We Really Are. We’re remembering that this is a game, that we are powerful, master creators, and that we don’t have to suffer. And in so doing, we allow ourselves to move out of the darkness and into the light, out of suffering and into more and more joy, into a state where “contrast” becomes subtle, the difference between “Yea!” and “Hell Yea!”  This is the ascension that many religions talk about. We are not all going to die. But we are all changing quite drastically, dropping the masks, becoming more of ourselves, stepping into our power and revealing Who We Really Are – who we’ve been all along. This is our overriding theme, our collective intention.

Now, it’s up to you – what part do you want to play in that game? You have your starting point. You have your theme. What will you do with it? How will you choose to experience it? Because, while it might be comforting to some to blame the fact that they aren’t happy on a pre-life plan rather than facing their fears, it really is that simple – just choose. It’s up to you.

Other Posts You Might Like...

Access our LOA Vault!

Get instant access to all our FREE resources, including courses, workbooks and a bonus chapter for my book!

  • Giday Melody,

    For a moment I thought you were talking about me. I was born into a poor family in a small Island nation in the Pacific. We lived a village lifestyle just as SK explained from day to day with little to no planning for the future. I hated that lifestyle and wanted the opposite. I wanted to be wealthy and happy with choices. Growing up I wanted to visit Australia, a country described by my first school headmaster as huge and where opportunity exists for anyone who puts the effort in. I set about making things happen. I climbed hundreds of coconut trees a week and walk hundreds of kilometers selling coconut to put myself and my five siblings through school. In high school I saved enough to buy a Biology text book for $27. School was hard work just trying to stay alert. I left school at 17 and worked 2 jobs until I saved enough money to travel to Australia at age 19. I have lived in Australia for the past 41 years.

    I occasionally return to the village to experience that hopelessness. My effort to make a difference with money doesn’t seems to work. I find it difficult to change their mindset. As if they have chosen to remain poor. They tell me that they want change but seems to be caught in a vortex of the village lifestyle. It’s a security blanket they do not have the courage to venture away from.

    Having just explained my family problem above, I realised that I too haven’t realised my dream because I have remained in my comfort zone. The one that I set myself 41 years ago. Have you written a blog on that subject that may provide me and my family with that sense of adventure again?

    Thank you for your help and encouragement.


  • Hi Melody!

    So interesting you writings because yesterday i went for a reading for consulting my spiritual guides, and after they presence and given information, she told me that my path will include in this life: little money, handwork. Concluding, this is my own Karma, and that’s it for this life! It felt really bad to listen this, because it took may will of trying to get things better, almost as if mi efforts would be in totally worthless.
    Can i do something about this?

    • Hey there Anna,

      If the reading felt bad to you, disregard it. But, why do you assume that money will be required for you to have the life you want? This was a manifestation of limiting beliefs – what bothered you about the reading and why? Delve into these questions. Don’t take it as a given, you don’t have to accept the information as “truth”, but do look for what information this manifestation revealed to you.

      You can create whatever life you want. This manifestation and the way it felt to you simply showed up to show you how you are keeping yourself from doing that.

      I hope that helps.

      Huge hugs,


  • Melody,

    You said that no one can predict the future. How do you explain people who have prophetic dreams that quite often come true? I used to have these a lot when I was younger. They have tapered off quite a bit as I’ve gotten older, thankfully. I did not like having them at all, because I would be shown that someone was going to die. Not how, but when. That’s not the same as predicting that someone will when the lottery, but being shown when someone you know is going to die can be a bit unnerving to a child. Based on my personal experience, I feel that some people can indeed predict the future (at least certain events). For me, it had nothing to do with reading the person’s energy, as the information was shown to me in dreams.

    • the future is predetermine by the character of those who form it.

      for example: 2 brothers Adam and Bob

      Adam and his wife does not want children. Both of them wants to avoid it at all cost.
      It’s predictable that this couple will not have children IF they stay consistent with this choice.

      Bob and his wife wants to have as many children as humanly possible. They are doing everything they can to have children. It is predictable for this second couple that they will have children IF they stay consistent with their choice.

      As for predicting someone is serious sick or dying. I have this sense built into me, it’s in my blood. I came from a medical family going back many generations. I can just tell.

      What you are referring to is precognition. I have some when I was a teenager as well.
      I also have many Deja vu. They were about experience that I feel I already lived.
      I can’t explain what they are yet. I just refer them as my “special moments”.

      I also have very strong creative imagination when I was younger. I lost that when I was too busy working. After I lost my job and had nothing to do for a few months, some of those instincts came back. I had a Deja Vu as well as strong creative imagination again.

      I loose it again as I am busy working.

  • What about being born as slaughter cattle? Aren’t that kind of limiting circumstances? There are so many slaughter cattle. Why would god chose to make this experience so often? It makes me doubt this whole concept.

  • Wonderful post. Reading the comment by Mandy [above] I thought to myself, “Yup, I used to think that way”. I am finally getting it, with your help. My life growing up, the neglect, abuse, bullying [seems like kids who are abused often end up as targets on the playground too- victim mentality I guess] leading to my eventual long painful marriage that ended with a terrible whisper- all led me to the shining moments where I was finally able to see my resistance. I had to see it before I could let it go. And yes, I see now that I needed the incredible challenge of my life so far to prompt massive growth. Without fear, there is no courage. The fires I walked through have burned off the layer that insulated me from my true self- and for that I am grateful. Grateful for everything, especially the painful stuff. I still have tough days and I still do not like feeling angry or sad. But I know each time I release another bit of the pain I float closer to the surface- that place where the light shines, always. So yes, I get it. I chose this. And hell yes, I’m making the most of it. 😉 Thanks again Melody. You rock, as always.

  • Lovely post, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this in relation to children who are abused. Conventional new age wisdom is that it occurs because of karma or a contract of some kind.

    However, I believe all the babies who are born into abusive households are lightworkers, because all babies have very high vibrations. If a their parents are stuck in resistance, that baby is a catalyst that could help them sync into a higher vibration. I think we all know of people who were changed for the better by having children.

    Because of free will, however, sometimes this works out, the parents move past their resistance and no abuse happens. Sometimes it does not, and in severe cases of abuse the parents gravitate out of their children’s reality.

  • One of my soul mates gravitated out of my experience rather painfully months ago. My experience with him contributed to A LOT of learning and growth though, so I completely understand that aspect of the post. Our relationship wasn’t always great, especially since we mirrored so much of each other’s resistance, but when I wasn’t wedged into my fear and insecurity, I could sense that there was a deep connection. As odd as it may sound it almost felt like we were siblings even though we were together, lol. But I guess that was just my way of translating the closeness of the relationship.

    I’m in the process of letting go of the fears and insecurities triggered from that relationship and of course, that were here before he and I even met. I think that’s something I came here to explore: self-love, because that’s definitely been a recurring theme in my life. In fact, the only two legitimate panic attacks I’ve ever had, ever, were due to my own severe insecurities. My emotional guidance system has definitely screamed “this isn’t serving you!!”, but at one point I didn’t know that. I’ve learned so much about self-love and power in the prior months and I’ve actually reached moments of feeling good and accepting of myself. 🙂

  • Circumstances may not be limiting, but a person who was born poor still has to wait a long time and go through a lot of difficult changes in order to get the money. And their pathway will be long and they will have to climb inch by inch, raising their income only little by little. While people who were born in good families will have a clear path ahead and their money will come quickly in big gobs. I think it’s really unfair and I will never be ok with it cause the starting point indeed is very limiting, the poor person may never reach a good income place because the whole process is difficult and takes too much time. Even Melody said the girl in the example may have to wait till she’s 35 to marry and it almost made me want to pull out all my hair. I want to marry STAT and I don’t accept I’ll have to wait till I’m out of marrying age to marry. I don’t want a prince who HAS to take years to arrive, I’d end up hating him when he arrived just for making me sit waiting for years. A decent enough dude will do, there’s got to be some way to make him appear without waiting for years, otherwise this idea wouldn’t stir so many negative feelings in me. If not then the process is just really unfair and it sucks.

    Also, do we really choose to come in a difficult place? Then why the hell there are so many people who are born in great conditions? If they get to choose to be born in happiness then why didn’t my soul do the same? It’s masochistic wanting to be born in anything else imho. I don’t think we really choose anything, it must be because of karma or something of the kind. I have a very strong feeling I was forced into being born, karma would explain it. I certainly would have never chosen my family if I had any power to do so, and my family is not even one of the worst.

    Also, there is this talk in the spiritual medias that some people (who are they kidding, this only happen to women) are born with some sort of ‘bindment’ of not getting to have a love partner, is this bullshit too?

    • why stop there?
      lets take this to another level

      what if you found a hidden treasure tomorrow and have enough money to last you a life time. (a gift from Destiny)
      – found a decent enough man the next day (Cupid’s gift).
      – got married in 1 week.
      – and spend the honeymoon in a perfect country.

      once the honeymoon is over, you 2 came home and this happened.
      – the angel of destiny dropped in and handed you your life’s book. Told you she quits and then walk away. When you open it and look inside, the book is half empty.
      – next minute, Cupid dropped in to tell you he also quit and walked away.
      – you love faded.

      so now you’re married and rich but not happy.

      Destiny doesn’t care.
      So is Cupid.

      what will you do ?

      • Hi! I don’t know where you’re going with this, but…. As long as the guy still loved me it would be ok, even if my love for him faded… I don’t need to hear angels sing while I am in a relationship, love is something you build daily with your partner, not that silly passion a lot of people are not even capable of feeling… As long as he’d still like me it would all be okay, I could always re-build my live for him daily….

        But I am curious, where are you going with this? Is this how you think life works? In the sense that destiny doesn’t care about us niether does some sort of cupid? Or are you trying to give me a lesson that says life will never bring me my stuff quickly, that it will need to involve a lot of suffering and take a long long time for me to get a partner or money? I’ve seen people get stuff quickly, so it’s possible, I deserve to want that for myself too…

  • Beautiful post, Melody. I just cannot express in words how I feel about this post. It’s one of those posts which is so full of magic and wonder. I’m delighted. Thank you so much. I am just so lucky to be here.

  • Melody,
    This ranks as one of my absolute favorite posts from you. Thank you so much for clarifying the whole “soul partner” concept, it explains perfectly what I have experienced and continue to experience regarding significant people in my life. When I think of the things I am most grateful for, discovering your blog is always one of the first that comes to mind!

  • Melody, I can’t begin to tell you how much clarity this post has brought to me; my gratitude for you is spilling out of me as tears of joy.
    Your grandparent example was perfect; the “perpetrators” of the terrible early life I endured turned out to be my most awesome teachers. When each one died, at the time I thought “Good riddance.” The odd thing that I never understood until now is that after each one’s death I experienced a totally different energy coming from them, which always confused me. Why couldn’t they have been this nice when they were alive? Since their deaths I’ve felt nothing but love all around them, and now after your post the confusion is gone. I can trust the love and the guidance, because its exactly what’s brought me to where I am right now. It was all part of the process, and because of their themes, my theme, and your brilliance, I’ve just had a major shift.
    And SK, thank you, too. You reminded me of something I’d forgotten in the perfect way that I could hear; I really needed that.

  • Past and Future don’t exist.
    There is no previous or after life – they don’t exist.
    If you believe in them, they will become your traps.
    Forget about setting long term goals – they are traps too.

    You see, setting future goal means LOA will ensure we are unhappy today and forever waiting for the future to arrive. Because we intended to put up with being less happy NOW and expected to be more happy in the future.

    When in reality, all we really want is to raise our standard of living TODAY.
    Extreme happiness or extreme sadness are spikes, they don’t last – we will reset back to our standard level of emotion every time.
    so be practical and set your own standards for your day today.
    and when I say standard, I mean setting our own time table, routine, rules, events, duties, etc.
    and set them for one day only.
    Don’t plan for 2 or more days at a time.
    setting Standards is something we can all do.
    start small and with things you know you can do.
    Then you will gradually and naturally set higher standards on your own.

    it’s a simple and seemingly small change.
    yet it’s the most effective way to allow you to progressively be yourself.

    • Very good SK!

      Make sure you won’t waste anytime about creating a pension, or paying for insurance or buy a ticket for a trip to Hawaii next month.

      The future doesn’t exist.

      • Passive income is both insurance and pension.
        My financial planner and accountant keep track of that.
        Just back from Hawaii last month.
        As far money is concerned, time is on my side.

        Planning for the future is not the same as setting a fix long term goal.
        One is general, the other is specific.
        Planning does not have to be constant.

        If you plan for the future in such a way that you have to constantly worry about the future, then your plan is bad.
        It’s not the future you need to fix, its your plan.

        If your goal is to buy insurance and to live off pension, then you will poor now and in the future.

        • SK – But in your first post, you said the future doesn’t exist. Then in response to “I see,” you said that planning for the future isn’t the same as setting a long term goal. But if the future doesn’t even exist, why would you plan for it? You’re contradicting your first statement.

  • Dear Melody,

    Thank´s again for an awesome post. My father died suddenly when I was six and I grew up without a male rolemodel. My lifetheme is abandonment, my relationships with men, up until now, end by them leaving me. I am 42 years old and have now realised this pattern (belief). My highest wish would be to have a healthy, loving and lasting relationship. What can I do to release the belief? I was in psychoteraphy ten years ago but it didn´t help and I have also worked with the vibrational ladder. I am so happy that I found your blog and I am learning more and more everyday!

  • Following on from predictions.
    In November 2013 I had my palm read. I was in awe as this guy told me stuff I had actually “hidden” from myself – stuff I would never in a million years confide to even the very bestest bosum buddy girlfriend. One thing he told me was that my heart was “atrophing” – in that I was not allowing my heart to love and be open. The reading really resonated with me and shocked me to the core. From that day since I have worked on opening my heart and being alive and “in love” with life and myself and everything around me. I have changed my “destiny”. I am sure if he read my palm today it he would read a very different “future”.

  • Florence Schovel Shinn – who was writing about the Law of Attraction (and she called it exactly that) in 1913, explains that there is the Law of Karma (predestination) and Spiritual Law – (LOA) and that spiritual law trumps karma. So, if your karma is to pay back a debt from a past life – but you become enlightened and in this life make spiritual choices in accordance with LOA – well the karma is negated. I like her explanation. To me it means I can learn and grow in this life and make choices and change my “destiny”.

  • For quite some time now I’ve known a major theme (or lesson as I call it) in my life is to learn complete & unconditional self love, and have felt that my soul chose the hardest way possible to accomplish this. Your statement, “When masters play the game, they don’t want it easy,” really struck a chord with me. It was a “So THAT’S why this has been so tough” a moment. Thanks for that revelation.

    Love you,

    • Lauren that was MY exact “a-ha” moment too! And I even thought something similar after reading it. I just thought, “Wow! That explains A LOT!” 🙂

      My path wasn’t easy – of course it always could have been harder – but I would not change a thing from my past. It brought me to where I am and I like where I am, so I must be doing something right. 🙂

      Another beautiful, mind bending post Melody! Thank you! 🙂

  • Awesome post Melody!

    I really liked the analogy of your grandparents being two actors who have just come off stage. My grandad died very recently, and my gran about 6 years ago. They very much seemed to hate each other throughout their whole married lives! It’s really nice to think of them as having had a soul agreement and now they are best buddies again 🙂

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

    access teh free video course now:

    are you a spiritual gladiator?

    Find out why you've always been different, why life seems to painful to you, and why you're actually incredibly important.