Awesome Nicole’s Burning Question: “What do you do if someone spews negative thoughts and words into the universe ABOUT YOU? My husband’s friend has a highly caustic wife. She is unhappy with the friendship (or ‘bromance’ even) and has made that clear to both men on various occasions… but we recently discovered that she has been slandering my husband’s character in particularly nasty ways. Ways that could even put our family under scrutiny.
How do we combat the negative arrows that others may shoot into the universe? Does raising our own vibration make us immune to these attacks?”
Dear Awesome Nicole,
Here’s your video answer.
Watch the video directly on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifZ_6mjaoDE
For the “readers” amongst you. You know who you are…
You either believe that you create your own reality, or you don’t. You can’t half-ass it. If you create your own reality, and you do, then you have to accept that everything that happens to you is there for a reason. Whenever you have a negative manifestation, it’s only there to get your attention, to show you that you have a belief that isn’t serving you.
To find that belief, the question you always want to ask yourself is: “How does this incident or event make me feel?”
Let me give you a little hint on this one: This involves a fear of powerlessness, that other people have more power over your reality than you do. So, this woman has come into your reality to get your attention. Because, you know, nothing gets your attention quite like some psycho bitch talking smack about you.
Why do people talk smack?
Why does someone do this? Well, believe it or not, she’s feeling powerless herself, and is trying to tear you down so she can feel better. But you don’t have to let her. The more you let her, the bigger she’ll become in your reality, the less you let her, the more she’ll begin to gravitate out of your reality.
It’s about boundaries
This is essentially about setting boundaries. Sometimes, setting boundaries is about confronting people and standing up for yourself. I wouldn’t advise that in this case. If you did that, you’d just be playing her game. You’re better than that.
In a case like this, setting boundaries is more about not giving your power away to others. And right now, you’re giving this woman an enormous amount of power.
Think of reality like a video game, one that’s created just for you. There are other players, but they can only interact with you and your reality to the extent that your player’s rules allow them to. That means, if your virtual neighbor keeps letting his virtual dog poop all over your virtual lawn, you must have some rule in your game that you don’t know about that invites him to do that. Reality is just like that. If you have a belief that isn’t serving you, some helpful virtual psycho bitch will come into your world to mirror that belief back to you.
So, when you give this woman the power to influence your world, it’s like you deciding to live your life according to what the microwave tells you to do. Or the TV. Or a Youtube video.
So, how do you start to feel better about this whole issue?
Step 1: Get some perspective. She can talk smack about you all she wants, but whether or not people believe her actually says more about them than her or you. Your belief is basically saying that everyone you know is a total idiot who will believe anything they hear. Chances are, that’s not actually true. But if it is, why the hell are you hanging out with a bunch of douchebags?
Give the people you know some credit. If they don’t give you the benefit of the doubt and believe anything negative they hear about you, they’re not people you want to hang out with anyway. Allow yourself to imagine that whenever she’s saying something derogatory about you, the people she’s talking to are looking at her like she’s an idiot. Take it step further and see them defending you. Spend several minutes a day doing this until you feel well and truly better.
Step 2: Take away her power. Imagine this woman and shrink her down to just a few inches tall. Then, turn her into a cartoon character, something small and cute and harmless. Give her a cartoony voice. Then, have her say all the stuff she’s been saying about you in that voice. There’s no way you can keep taking her seriously in that getup. Go ahead and have fun with this one. The sillier you are, the less power you give her.
Examples of silliness: Flicking her off your hand, flinging her out the window, squashing her under your shoe.
Now, I know that some of you are thinking, “Wait a minute! I thought we weren’t supposed to have negative emotions?” Please understand that negative emotion is simply an indicator that you have a limiting belief. The belief causes the emotion, not the other way around. When you suppress a feeling, you’re actually suppressing the awareness of that emotion. When you shift a belief from a lower, negative feeling frequency to a higher, better feeling frequency, energy is released. This energy often presents itself as emotions which have to be let out. You let them out by feeling them. You are not perpetuating a negative situation by feeling your emotions. It’s actually quite the opposite of that.
This brings me to Step number 3: Get emotional. Allow yourself to feel anger or any other emotion that comes up. You can even do some anger releasing exercises such as writing this woman a letter that you’ll never send, imagining this woman is in the room with you and telling her off, physically releasing anger by punching couch cushions or running, or, as already stated, beating up on her cartoon self.
Now, if you do this right, you’ll feel a whole lot better.
What other people say about you is completely irrelevant. What’s important is HOW YOU REACT. Take back your power.
And if you must give your power to anyone, give it to me. You’re a magnificent person and so is your husband. Now, show this blog to everyone you know that’s susceptible to other people’s opinions and tell them that my opinion matters more than hers. Because I’m on Youtube. Is she on Youtube? I didn’t think so.
Melody you crack me up! I really enjoy how you tell people to simply allow themselves to feel their emotions as they are the best indicator of where their vibration is at and can then access the vibrational ladder to a better feeling place. Laughing is the greatest stress-buster there is, as it is so much fun! I always enjoy reading your posts, you help me out a great deal very often. Thank you! Keep up the great work! Best tips I ever heard for when people talk smack about you.
Bravo, Awesome Melody!
Loving your blog, so smart and wise!
Thanks for sharing it with us!
“Tell them to listen to me because I’m on Youtube… Is SHE on Youtube? Nah, didn’t think so~” Haha oh I loved that so much <3 And epic innuendo joke for people who listen to the end ;P Love you and your stuff, Melody x 🙂
Best blog yet Melody*****
I was wondering what this says about woman on mass.
As in, at what point did we give all our power away?
What a struggle it has been for woman especially to regain personal and group power and how would a group of woman gain from using LOA.
What can a group put into practice to gain the LOA benifits?
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Oh, honey — the answer to this would take years! Have you ever read “Women Who Run With Wolves”? It’s an eye-opener. I’m not really a strident feminist (well, unless someone gets in my face & I can be as strident as all get out!), but it’s less a matter of our having given up our power as having had it taken away, very determinedly, throughout history. Interestingly, way way back when (pre-Christian church, primarily), women were often very strong, powerful figures in their societies. Dane-law, for instance, gave women legal equality with men: a woman could divorce her husband and leave him, and she took her land, money, children & influence/power with her. 2000 years have gone by, and we’re worse off than ever in many ways (not all, obviously, and I’m sure there are many women who’ll disagree with me, but this isn’t the forum for such an argument).
As for LOA. I think enough of us can change the world.
Going through a situation with family, and I can’t tell you how many times I have caught myself banging my head on the wall and not understanding what the heck is going on. I get it. My buttons are being pushed because I am letting them be pushed. This is so full of a-ahs for me, its crazy. In my imaginations, my sister in law is running around in my office at about 2 inches high squeeking up a storm to me…think I’ll put my foot down. OMG this feels FANTASTIC!!! squish squish squish…take that you squeaky little sister in law…..
I just love these videos! It is so convenient to listen at times versus sitting and reading. Thank you!!! As usual your message is right on time for an issue I am dealing with. However the negative gossip person is me and the negative gossip has been about myself. I just recently became aware of the manner I speak of myself to others and that negative little voice in my head growing louder and louder. “I can’t do this or that, that won’t happen for me because…, giving my power to others and circumstances.
So I am going to visualize the wonderful, enlightened, beautiful, strong, positive me listening to the negative cartoon me and flick her right off the face of the earth! It’s a service to humanity – all of us will benefit without that negative energy. Thank you for another awesome video. I love your sense of humor and how you use it to get your point across clearly
Sorry Melody, no the vids are not as convenient as being able to read when and where I can. Dont have the download speed for vids… thanks.
The cartoon character analogy makes me think of this^
Haha! Perfect timing Melody! Thank you so much. 🙂
you are always such a delight to watch Melody:-)
makes my day all the time:-)
love the cartoon character method, will be trying it for sure!
Thank you, I’ve just taken my power back.
Too funny. Too awesome! <3 Thank you!
I have personally dealt with this and have known many people who have been slandered by gossip. In my case, I had family member who is an attorney send a cease and desist letter. It was amazingly effective. I am a lawyer, but I had another lawyer look it over and make the decision of whether a letter was [legally] warranted- since it is hard to be objective when you are the target.
I wrestled with the question of whether or not it is something that simply fans the flames or puts a stop to it. My experience is that it is a tremendous way to put a stop to damaging gossip. One of the few things you can do to set a boundary in a case like damaging gossip. But there is a caveat: generally, it’s only a legal problem if the gossip damages your reputation in such a way as it could cost you money. Where I am, that means the gossip must hurt you professionally, or imply you have committed a crime, committed an adultery or have a “loathsome” disease.
I have a friend who is consistently being slandered by a professional competitor. I have repeatedly offered to write a letter [for free] for her- but she won’t let me do it. She is afraid she will “stir things up” with this woman. What I see is that this woman is going to keep reflecting her problem setting boundaries until she does something about it. I am positive that one letter would stop all the bullshit, but my friend is not ready to take that step. When she is ready, I will be there to help her.
M point is that sometimes, lawyers are just what is needed to help people set boundaries. In the digital age, gossip can be more damaging than ever before- since it can spread so fast. There is a stereotype that lawyers create problems, but in fact, they solve just as many problems- if you use them in the right way. A sword or shield. This may not be the situation for a lawyer, but I wanted to point out that sometimes, a lawyer letter is just the thing 😉
My question is, how on earth am I becoming a match to my husband being sick over half the time with IBS flare ups and allergies that he’s never had before? It’s making him feel miserable. I’ll ask if I can do anything for him and he says “get me a new body” : ( I’ve tried to look at this from all angles, but I’m not coming up with anything. How did we both get into this and how the heck do we get out of it and into what we really desire?
My hubby has a lot of issues with his allergies, headaches and stuff. I tried getting him to change his diet (he’s still on the SAD – Standard American Diet). I’m only gonna push so much. I won’t drive myself crazy trying to get him to “see the light”. It sucks though because there are times I want us to do things together but can’t because it seems he’s sick several times a week. I don’t know how to get out of it either. I’m just trying to work on myself and let him “do his thing” and see what happens.
I am very interested in the metaphor of illness. With an irritable bowel – I’d ask – what’s your gut trying to tell you? (That it’s irritated)… yes because of diet, but also because of thoughts and feelings. (That are being suppressed, because they are “unacceptable”). Try looking for the meaning in the words he is using when describing his dis-ease.
I would recommend a colonic. It is astonishing what “old crap” we hang onto physically in our bowels and therefore metaphorically in our minds. I am sure he will be shocked at how much material he releases after 3 colonics….. magical things, once you get past the embarrassment of it all.
If a person follows this instructions, it is possible then to have NO people whatsoever talking bad about them in their reality? Or are people still gonna say stuff and you will just never know about it? There’s a very respected LoA dude in my country that says it’s impossible to have that, that everybody will always get talked about badly, I find this really sad. The more I learn about LoA the more I see there’s no way to have a ‘heaven on earth’ type of life with no problems and bad stuff, there’s always gonna be bad stuff… In the beggining LoA gave me so much hope cause I had the idea that it was possible to create perfection in one’s life with LoA, but there goes my dream of having a perfect life lol
You won’t know about/detect it in your higher frequency. It won’t bother you, as, indeed, people will always say stuff. It just comes up, here in duality and in nature. They even said bad stuff about Jesus and very admirable people who spoke of justice and all the good stuff, so it will always come up. It just won’t touch you. You won’t be prone to it. You can have a good life if you laugh at all that stuff, knowing where those people are coming from, instead of letting it bother you.
I honestly think a better way to look at would be “people might still talk about me, but I wouldn’t even give half a shit.” Isn’t that still a type of perfection?
Why would you need to have absolutely no “negative” things when it’s all about how you feel? If you can feel happy despite facing resistance (which is all those negative things are) then, life is still pretty damn perfect.
You say “the more I see there’s no way to have a ‘heaven on earth’ type of life with no problems and bad stuff, there’s always gonna be bad stuff” – it really depends on how you look at the “bad stuff” though. Sure, you might get stuck in traffic on the odd occasion, but it’s up to you whether you see that as “wasted time stuck behind inconsiderate assholes who don’t know how to drive” or “more time to jam to awesome tunes and generally act like a happy spaz.” If you looked at traffic as “more time to be happy” would traffic still be considered “bad stuff”.
I wouldn’t give up on having your “perfect life” just yet. Like Melody says, it’s all about changing your perspective.
I understand that when you shift a belief from a lower to a higher frequency, energy is released and it’ll present itself as emotions, but what about a physical reaction? Recently I’ve been using a meditation technique to ‘install’ new thoughts. I’ll say an affirmation repetitively until I can capture a particular positive feeling. I’ve experienced the energy release that you’ve mentioned here, as I’ve had contradictory thoughts coming up and such. But today I used this technique again, for a longer time than I do usually, and after awhile I felt this nausea, like I was going to be sick. Any idea why this happened?
I have experienced this also, when really releasing allot of bad energy/thoughts/etc. and embracing more positive ones. I’ve actually thrown up. Particularly with very old, deep seated issues. Dry-heaving and yawning are pretty common reactions I experience. Just seems like an easy way for the energy to release in my opinion.
In my experience my emotions have always been tied into my physical body in very obvious ways, lots of very clear physical manifestations show up in my body from negative emotions/thoughts/beliefs. So when I go and release them I often have physical reactions, sometimes not so pleasant( i.e. nausea) and sometimes great( i.e. more energy, body feels younger and stronger, aches and pains lessen or leave, etc.)
Hope this helps some!
Thank you for sharing your experience! That is helpful. 🙂
Great video, Melody! I love the three step process, particularly step two! And I love the cat picture!
HA, that last paragraph, thanks for making me laugh! Power to this magificent, youtuber named Melody!