Awesome Leigh’s Burning Question: “One topic I’d love to see covered is: How LOA can help either overcome feelings of loneliness and/or attract positive new friends. I think loneliness is becoming an epidemic these days, and I find it a hard thing to deal with, very hard and sometimes very painful.  I’ve been on disability for almost 10 years for major depression; and haven’t exactly been going out to meet new people, but even when I did I found it very hard to meet people on the same wavelength. Any ideas on this topic?”

Here’s your video answer, Awesome Leigh

Watch the Video directly on Youtube: http://youtu.be/vlual1_aKTY

For the “readers” amongst you:

First of all, you have to remember that you can’t manifest that to which you’re not a vibrational match. If you want to meet friends so that you can feel better, you’re going to be waiting for a long time. You have to already feel the way you’d feel if you had a great social life, since your manifestation is only ever a reflection of your current vibration.

Now, I know. You’re sitting there on the coach, lonely and depressed. How the hell are you supposed to get into the feeling of having an active social life from that place? Let me give you some tips:

Define your friends

Figure out what kinds of people you actually want to hang out with. This is a step that so many people skip. You may be assuming that you have to change who you fundamentally are in order to fit in with some other crowd. That’s never a good idea. You are uniquely you, and you’re absolutely great, just the way you are, even if right now you’re in kind of a depressed state and you’re not a Happy Shiny Puppy. Who cares? If you’d rather gouge your eyes out with a melon baller than go to some loud, pumping club, then don’t do that. Don’t hang out with people who really want to do that. Real friendship isn’t about compromising, with half the people in the group doing something they don’t really want to do in order to please the other half. If you’d much rather enjoy sitting at home, having a nice quiet evening in, with excellent one-on-one conversation, there’s someone out there who would LOVE to be your friend and do exactly that.

So the idea is this: figure out what YOU want from a friendship, what’s going to please you, and then attract someone who has the same views. Don’t try to fit in with people with whom you don’t resonate. You’re going to meet a lot of people who are just going to try and cheer you up all the time, which is really, really annoying when you’re depressed. I’m not saying that you should just hang around with other depressed people who are going to keep you stuck in that state. But how about focusing on someone who’s just like you? Someone who understands depression but is really determined to pull themselves out of it, someone who gets you and will fight your demons with you when you’re having a bad day. You can support each other. You want to hang out with people who are just like you – not depressed, but depressed and working on it.

Become the person you want to be

As you figure out what you really want to do, go do that stuff. Start getting comfortable doing those activities. Why would you sit at home waiting for someone to come and make you feel better when you know that this just keeps you from manifesting what you want? Remember that you have to become a vibrational match to what you want; you have to feel the way you would feel if you already had what you want. A good way to do that is to engage in some of the activities that you’d do if you already had a friend.

So, if your vision includes going to a café with your friends to people watch, then go do that. Yes, by yourself. Take a book, read and people watch to your heart’s content. If you’d like to go for a walk, go for a walk and enjoy the scenery. Because if you’re telling the Universe that you need to have friends before you can feel good, you’re never going to meet them. But if you go out there and start to enjoy and appreciate your life, then you’re going to become a vibrational match to having friends.

Another really blunt way to say that is, if you can’t stand your own company then how can you ever expect anyone else to?

Stop being afraid of people

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Go out there by myself, where other people are? That’s scary!” I know it is. But here’s something you should know: You’re walking around thinking that you’re the only one with problems and everyone else has it all figured out. Let me give you a little secret. Everyone else is just as messed up as you are. We all have our issues and insecurities. I promise you that all the people that you think are staring at you and judging you are all worried about what you think of them.

We’re all scared of each other, which is why, as you pointed out, loneliness is becoming an epidemic. And it’s all so unnecessary. When we stop being afraid of each other and reach out to one another, close authentic relationships can form quickly. So, if you want to have friends, become a friend. Reach out to others; put yourself in situations that you would be in if you already had those friends. Start to enjoy your life.

And I’m not here to tell to you to “just cheer up”. I know how annoying that is when you’re depressed. But take a step in that direction. Become a vibrational match to the friends you actually want, not those that others think you should have. And once you’re there, your new friends will show up. They have to. It’s the law. 🙂