Awesome Dude: “Melody, what is your belief about the “focus” part in the process of manifesting? In other words, how long do we focus on our desire? Throughout the day? At least 5 minutes a day? Several hours during the day? I have heard LOA teachers say to “hold” a mental picture of our desire with a steady will. But… Wouldn’t that be exhausting Melody? Or is it really… the more we focus on our desire… the longer we focus on our desire… the more energy we put into our desire the faster it manifests, so it’s really a matter of how much attention we give our desire that determines how soon that bad boy comes to us?”
Dear Awesome Dude,
Here’s your video answer!
Mobile users: watch the video directly on Youtube: http://youtu.be/AN9XZsKQOgA
For you “readers” (you know who you are…)
Well Awesome Dude, I love this question because it’s one that I get all the freaking time! It basically stems from a misunderstanding of how the manifesting process works, so I’m more than happy to clear that one up for you once and for all today.
The short answer to the question “is there a correlation between how much we focus on something and how fast it comes” is “Nope”. Sorry to disappoint you, but focusing on something all the freaking time isn’t going to necessarily bring it into your reality any faster, because your manifestation doesn’t really depend on how much focus you give it.
Whether or not something comes to you today or at all is a matter of whether or not you’re aligned with it. Is there a vibrational match between you and your desire? That’s the only thing that matters.
How can you tell if you’re aligned?
How can you tell if you’re a match to your desire or not? Well, it comes down to how you feel. When you are aligned with the frequency of Who You Really Are, which is where all the great stuff is, you’re going to have an emotional feedback (remember that your emotions are your feedback system). And that emotional feedback system is going to say: “Yay! Green Light! You’re doing really good!” In other words, you’re going to feel good. If you’re not aligned with what you want, you’re going to have a negative emotional feedback. Red light. You’re going to feel bad.
Now, if you don’t pay attention to that, that negative emotion, that signal, that feedback, is going to get louder and you’re going to manifest more and more stuff that evokes that feeling within you. You’re going to have more and more experiences, for example, that will make you feel sad, or angry, or frustrated, or irritated, to show you that you’re holding on to a belief which is keeping you from being aligned with the frequency of what you want.
Um, then what’s this focusing crap all about?
So, how much focus do you actually have to give something? And what’s this focus even all about? Well, the act of focusing on specific things is a TOOL that we use to figure out what resistance you still have. So, for example, if you want to live in a new house, and it doesn’t really feel that good when you focus on that new house (notice that you have to pay attention to how you feel), it means that you have resistance. Now, if you could just go off and feel amazing doing something else and never think of the housing issue, then that’s all you’d have to do. Because feeling good is all that matters. Feeling good means that you’re aligned with who you really are and then all the good stuff is going to start coming in.
The problem is that most people can’t do that, particularly when it comes to things that they really, really want. With a desire that you’ve had for a long time, or a strong desire, you can’t just banish the thoughts of that desire out of your head. So, you’re thinking about what you want, but in a way that’s causing discord. Now you’re not feeling that good, which means that you’re activating the resistance. And that means that what you want can’t come to you because now you’re not aligned. The way that you’re feeling is letting you know that.
In that case, it can be really beneficial to focus on what you want and then see what obstacles present themselves, and as you get rid of that resistance, as you shift the beliefs that are making you not feel good, you’re going to be able to think if that topic in ways that feel better and better. The topic (that you’re thinking about all the time anyway) is going to feel better and better to you as you become more and more aligned.
But this is an exercise that we do in order to get you aligned. Focusing on what you want, does not actually bring that thing about.
Wait. I’m confused…
Now, I know that some of you are wondering, “But what about the instances when I thought of something and I got it? Like, when I focused on a Butterfly and then suddenly a Butterfly came into my reality? What about that, Melody, hm? Wouldn’t that have been my focus bringing something about?”
Ok, this is a little bit more advanced information, and I’m going to take you down that rabbit hole just a little bit further today. When you have a thought, an idea, or an impulse, that’s a manifestation; which means that you didn’t actually come up with the idea of thinking of a Butterfly, then focus on it and then bring that Butterfly into your reality. What happened is that you focused in a way that aligned you with what you wanted (in this case, perhaps to simply have an experience that proved your power), and then the first manifestation that came in was the thought – the Butterfly. As you focused on that (in a non-resistant way), it aligned you more and more and then the next representation, the physical representation of that frequency, could come into your reality. You’re not even creating your thoughts by yourself. You’re receiving it all (from your higher self, stop freaking out). That’s why I named my business Deliberate Receiving, because it’s all about what you’re receiving. The thought that you’re receiving matches the frequency that you’re aligned with.
Bottom Line
So basically, your focus, while it’s very, very powerful, is really all about how you feel. You’re attuning yourself to certain frequencies. The thoughts, the ideas, and the emotions that come to you are in direct response to what you’re attuning yourself to. Your emotions are your feedback system, letting you know how close or far away that frequency is from what you really want. The thoughts and ideas are coming to you as a response to what you’re focusing on and what you’re attuning yourself to. So, if a thought comes in that doesn’t feel good, don’t focus on it. If you can’t stop focusing on it, figure out why you can’t stop focusing on it. What belief are you holding on to that’s causing you to think that THAT’S a better feeling thought than whatever the alternative is? But if you have a desire, by all means, focus on it to figure out how you feel about it right now, and whether or not you have any resistance to it. And by all means, focus on your desire if it makes you feel really, really good (that’s what it’s there for). But simply focusing on your desire doesn’t actually bring it into your reality.
Focusing on what you want (or anything) in a way that feels good brings anything that feels like that into your reality. If you go back to my blog post on expectations, this all ties together. This is why you don’t want to have an expectation of specifically what your manifestation needs to look like. What actually matches the full on feeling that you’re generating is probably going to be way better than the thought representation that came in. So, the house that you’re currently imagining doesn’t even come close to the house that you can manifest.
I adore the clarity of this post. It is something that I have been waiting to hear. The idea that ‘my thoughts are a manifestation of my current vibration’ is something that I needed to hear. It is a piece of the puzzle that had been left out for me. This post is a clear example of your amazing understanding of this material. Thank you for these kinds of simple, yet profound lessons. I will be remembering this concept and applying it in many areas : )
Melody, Its been almost 8 months i m reading your stuff and I am so clear now. Thank you for giving out so much value for free. I am from India and I love reading your stuff. The clarify on Focus and Feelings and getting what we want is very clicking and enlightening to me.
THank you so much…
“When you have a thought, an idea, or an impulse, that’s a manifestation … You’re not even creating your thoughts by yourself. You’re receiving it all (from your higher self, stop freaking out).”
Okay I think I need to go further down the rabbit hole, here:
If thoughts and ideas are manifestations (i.e. products of focus), what is the “focus” mechanism? How am I doing it? How can I do it deliberately if I don’t even know how it’s happening?
I mean, I can know whether I am in alignment with my higher self’s perspective by evaluating whether I feel a “good” or “bad” emotion, but the emotion is just the side effect of my focus. It’s like knowing the sun is there by seeing its shadow.
Which brings me to a second issue related to my higher self:
According to Abraham, my higher self is keeping the faith in the vortex. If it’s holding that pure vibration, how can it be sending me thoughts, ideas, etc. that don’t line up with that pure perspective? How could I be on a different wavelength than it?
This is quite like what I was thinking also. How do we receive what is considered ‘negative’ or bad feeling thoughts from our Higher Self? Or is it that we may simply translate them that way according to the vibration that we’re in? Also, I’m sorry if I double post again, my mouse is a bit wonky. 🙁
Hey Ladies,
You don’t receive negative thoughts from your higher self. If you are in a lower vibration, you will line up with thoughts of THAT frequency. The fact that they don’t feel good lets you know that they are not from your higher self. The better the thought feels, the closer it is to the one that your higher self it thinking. Does that make sense?
Huge hugs!
Melody
Thank you so much for this post, I loved it!
Wow, Melody. Just . . . wow. This one just might be the life-changer, the piece that helps me put all the other pieces together. Because *something* definitely went “click” as I watched this. It was actually a felt-sense more than a thought, the feeling of something slightly out of kilter sliding into place. Goosebumps. I can’t even grasp it fully yet because it hasn’t yet crystallized out of feeling into structured thought. But I know it’s big . . .
I’ve decided to spend the rest of this week working exclusively with this video and the information you’ve detailed so very clearly, applying it to each of four things I wish to manifest at this time. I’ve had luke-warm success with them so far & know I’m blocking their full, easy manifestation because of resistance, but now I feel I have a very specific tool with which I can identify that resistance more clearly. And release it.
Stay tuned. And in the meantime — thank you, thank you, thank you.
Hi Melody!
Great post, thanks for clearing things out. What always keeps confusing me, though, is the ‘expectation’ part. We can expect to receive what we want if we’re aligned with it. And to align with it, we can focus on it and imagine it in all it’s details. But if we’re imagining something so specific to make the image as ‘real’ al possible, how can we not have an expectation as the what it will look like?
And if we do have that expectation, and it makes us feel really good, are we then not aligned with the best possible thing we could receive? Or is it about keeping an open mind and thinking ‘this or something better’?
Hey Laura,
Have you read my post on expectations? It should answer your questions: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2014/03/31/why-do-things-go-to-hell-when-we-start-using-loa-expectations/
“(from your higher self, stop freaking out)”
I couldn’t help but laugh at this line because for a split second I was kind of wondering where our thoughts are coming from if we don’t create them ourselves.
I agree with Ally: Mind = Blown. I love the rabbit hole. 🙂
I was just beginning to feel like I had the hang of this LOA stuff and now Melody proves that it’s actually even EASIER than what I was thinking. 🙂
Mind=Blown. Just when I thought I had things sorted out…
So I feel pretty good like 70% of the time so I try to just manifest specific random things I have no emotional attachment to to start out easy and still I get nothing. I wonder now if I’m totally delusional about how I really feel?
Hey Melody
Amazing post! Like you said, you get asked this question all the time because I think it is one of those things that people are most concerned about. I used to think if I didn’t think about what I wanted enough, the Universe might ‘forget’ to deliver it. You did a really good job of lifting a heavy weight off of our shoulders 🙂 It is not really the focus, it is the feeling. And I totally know what you mean about the focus serving as a tool to uncover resistance because the minute we start thinking about what we want, it happily pops up!
Hi Melody,
I found your blog in the beginning of this year I think, so you could call me a new kid on the block. About a week ago I went through the archive to read any and all posts that caught my attention (some are still bookmarked-to-be-read) and in one of them (Screw Smalltalk! 11 Questions That Help You Truly Connect) you mentioned your greatest fear was to regain your previous weight. I don’t want to be rude in any way – I adore you, your writing, and am very thankful of how much you’ve helped me and others – but this brings up a very curious issue, how are some limiting beliefs so strong that even though we can banish them for a while, they still crawl back and affect our lives later on? How do we make peace with them and send them off once and for all?
I understand that some beliefs are multi-layered and therefore need more work, at the same time a lot of the spiritual guides say that it is a mistake to think we need to work on ourselves because all we need to do is realize that we are already ‘perfect’ and then we can release the past. However it doesn’t look as if I can just say: ‘I am willing to release past conditioning’, and poof! it happens. So how to deal with these deeply ingrained conditionings or the past that hold us down and make sure we really have let go of them?
Again thank you for this blog, you have helped me a lot and simplified the LOA immensely!
Wishing you well,
Kadi
Hi Kadi,
Like you I also came across this blog at the beginning of the year. I have been reading every LOA thing I could get my hands on for the past four years, and nothing has quite resonated like Melody’s blog.
I would also love to see a detailed answer to your question…like how to remove those really tough stains in your vibration. I don’t know if you have come across this post yet:
http://www.deliberateblog.com/2013/11/28/my-liver-cleansing-experience-part-i-the-most-vulnerable-post-ive-ever-written/
But it goes quite a way to explaining the new issues (or resistance) that popped up when Melody had lost her bucket load of weight…i.e. the fear of gaining it back. I understand that she is probably still dealing with these limiting beliefs and will no doubt impart her wonderful discoveries when she has worked on them. However I’m sure that a LOA guru like Melody has shifted other deep rooted, tough to scrub out limited beliefs that the rest of us find hard to move…which would be awesome to hear about 🙂
Hey Kadi,
“how are some limiting beliefs so strong that even though we can banish them for a while, they still crawl back and affect our lives later on?”
It’s not about banishing limiting beliefs. You can’t banish any belief, it is impossible.
This is an inclusive Universe, so you can’t get rid of anything, you can only simply incorporate and focus on something else.
“How do we make peace with them and send them off once and for all?”
When you make peace with them, and maintain your focus on that which you want, you are then no longer a vibrational match to them, since you no longer give them your energy or focus.
When you focus on feeling good and on what you want, only what you want and good feeling things will be attracted to you.
“However it doesn’t look as if I can just say: ‘I am willing to release past conditioning’”
I understand what you mean, also you want to remember, it’s not past conditioning.
It’s present conditioning.
You are being a willing, active participant in keeping what you have been taught alive, thus reinforcing the conditions by you, for you right now in the present.
Also, the only reason you have not released your limiting beliefs yet is because they serve you in some way.
So, how do the beliefs you are holding on to, that you do not prefer, serve you?
How do those limiting beliefs help you, Kadi?
I love, love, love this post and your site. Truly an inspiration.
Hey Melody- thanks for this awesome post!!
I would greatly appericiate if you could do something detailing anxiety?
For the last couple of months, I have been dealing with increasing anxiety with work and mostly work collegues and constant criticisms which is seriously affecting my confidence in other areas of life (even a simple journey to the supermarket!!!). I have sat down with my feels and followed the cookie crumbs and i believe i started this whole whack experience from not manifesting what i really wanted i.e. not my current job and therefore my emotions jumped around sadness, irritability, anxiety and anger. as i am prone to care a little to much about what others think, i got stuck at anxiety (how will others percieve me, what happens if i do this or that wrong etc etc). though i have traced this back to the source, how do i undo my pickle??? I have tried postivie reaffirmations and meditation but im still so anxious, and infact im more anxious now than before understanding what was the problem to begin with!!
Aaaaaa
Help?
I’ve had anxiety since I was a teenager and would also be interested in a post on how to deal with it from an LOA perspective. 🙂
Hey Anon,
It comes to a level of acceptance with negative emotions.
Because emotions are “people, too.” They just want to be heard and validated, and not judged or suppressed.
When you allow yourself to feel them, listen to what they are telling you and teaching you, they are released, because their job is done.
There is no such thing as good or bad emotions, there are only good and not good feeling emotions, and not good feeling emotions don’t need to be judged as “bad”, because they aren’t.
They are simply indicators that you are only feeling negative emotion because you are focusing on what you don’t want, which they are there to remind you you are out of alignment, and to shift your focus back onto what you do want (so then you feel positive emotion).
When you allow resistance, you feel better.
So when I feel resistance, I just say to myself, “I allow the resistance I am feeling right now.” And every time I instantly feel better.
Another way of putting it is, “I allow the negative emotion I am feeling right now. It is perfectly okay to feel this way.”