Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question: “Why do we worry so much about what others think of us? Can we use the Law of Attraction to stop?”

Dear Awesome Dudette,

Just about everyone has this issue, whether they want to admit it or not. Almost all of us factor other people’s reactions into our decision making progress. Whether we’re trying to decide what to wear (“Is this appropriate? Will I fit in?”), or if we should live our dreams (“What will my parents think? What if people don’t think I’m good enough at this?”), what other people think of us is often the FIRST priority (and if it’s not the first, it’s certainly going to be in the top 3).

But if other people don’t actually have any power in our reality unless we give it to them, and if caring what they think is how we give them that power, then why in the hell did we ever start giving them that power? Why are they even part of the equation? And what’s more, how can we stop?

The Origins of Reactivity

OMG, doesn’t that subtitle make it sound like it’s about to get all scientific in here. Either that, or a good bunch of you are hoping that Hugh Jackman is about to act out another Origins story in full Wolverine regalia. Or maybe that’s just me.

Admit it. This is why you come here. 

But until good old Hugh decides to return the many calls I pretended to make, let me give you the short version of the story of how our thinking got to be so spectacularly fucked up.

Once upon a time, we decided to enter into a game of sorts. We, all powerful beings that we are, in an attempt to know ourselves better, created a virtual reality environment in which we’d be able to play out the full spectrum of experience, from absolute darkness to light. Now, you can’t experience total lack of light (darkness) if you know that you’re an all-powerful creator. For example, you wouldn’t actually feel what poverty is like if you know that you have millions of dollars in the bank. The best you’d be able to do is ACT it out, like in a movie or play. You’d do your best to be all “I’m so poor. Boohoo. How terrible.”, all while remembering to take off your Rolex so you wouldn’t ruin the ambience of the shot. Or whatever. I don’t know how Hollywood people speak (and I tried to google Hollywood lingo but for some reason just kept returning to pics of the Wolverine).

So, we decided to forget our power, Who We Really Are, in order to fully experience the full spectrum of physical manifestation as though it was real. If you’d like to know more about WHY we did this, you can read all about it here.

So, there we were, newly birthed humans (and no, I’m not going to go into the evolution of the Neanderthals and all that; we’ll leave that for another day. I can only do so much in one blog post people…), with a very general outlook on life. We were mostly interested in survival and procreation, which was, at that time, a full time job (the survival. Not necessarily the procreation. Hunting before humping, people). So, there wasn’t much time to ponder the questions of life.

Observe and experience

In order to facilitate our movement through the full spectrum of possibilities, we had to leave our natural drive to have experiences and then create ever better ones in place. We also left our ability to create and receive our reality in place (we can’t get around the Law of Attraction), although of course, we forgot that we had this power or how to use it. Then we added a time buffer, so that not every thought in our foggy little brains would manifest instantly. That would’ve been kind of a disaster. So, we made sure that you had to think a thought quite a few times before it became a reality, you know, to be sure that  you really wanted that thing to come about. This did have the effect, however, of not making it terribly obvious that our thoughts created reality. As the time buffer has shortened over the millennia, it’s become easier and easier to observe this connection.

Speaking of observation, that’s another mechanism we put in place. You can’t experience that which you do not first observe. And you can’t have a preference without observation, which means you can’t decide what you really want and then manifest that. The power of observation is key to the game. And observe we did (and still do). We observed what was happening in the world and drew conclusions from it. Remember, we knew nothing of how it all worked. We started from scratch (or the illusion of scratch), like finding yourself suddenly on an alien planet where everything is different. And half your brain has been taken out. Our human bodies and brains continued to evolve along with us.

So, we observed, we experienced and drew conclusions. Many of these conclusions were dead wrong, as we know today (although who’s to say we’re right today?), but we did the best we could. And many of our observations were actually quite accurate. At one point, we observed that we were a lot better off in groups. Survival depended on cooperation. Being ostracized from the group meant death. So, being approved of and accepted by the group became a necessity, one that we still believe in today.

Beliefs have to evolve, too

It’s important to note that the belief in the necessity of group acceptance once served us well (it really did keep us safer). It was totally useful at one time. However, it’s also paramount to understand that as times change, as we evolve, so must our beliefs. All limiting beliefs were once perspectives that served us. The reason they became limiting is because we have evolved beyond them. Let me give you a couple of examples:

Example #1: When you were 5 years old, your favorite book was probably one with a lot of pictures and a simple story. There might have been a caterpillar, for example, who had fun adventures with other insect and animal friends. You loved the colorful illustrations and the short story, and could have had it read to you over and over again. How do you feel about that book now? Do you still want to read it? Would you enjoy it as much? Or have you moved on to much more complex stories? That children’s book is like a belief. When you were 5 it served you. Holding on to a limiting belief is like trying to force yourself to keep on reading that Caterpillar book over and over. It’s not going to be fun for you anymore.

Example #2: If you were a commoner in Medieval times, your life was pretty hard. The king and nobles had all the power and could do whatever they wanted. There was pretty much nothing you could do about it. So, the thought of a vengeful, angry God would’ve made you feel a lot better. Maybe you couldn’t get the stupid nobleman who stole your sheep back, but God could. And would. The idea of them all being stuck in hell for eternity would’ve brought you immense relief. Fast forward a few centuries and the idea of an angry, violent, rage-filled God doesn’t feel so good anymore. In fact, when we began applying the concept of vengeance not only to those who wronged us, but to ourselves, when it became a possibility that we would join the assholes in those hell fires, the idea became a lot less palatable. A concept that once brought relief, now instilled us with fear.

And so it is with all beliefs.

Why we still care what others think

Now that you know how a good belief turns bad, let’s look at how we, in the modern world, keep on deciding that what others think of us is important. You see, when you’re born, you’re much like that foggy Neanderthal for the first 5-7 years of your life. You have this innate knowing and intention, but you have to learn the rules of the game that you’ve entered. You have to catch up and figure out where we are now. So, you spend a few years downloading all the info you can, accepting it all as truth, and getting your bearings, so to speak. And when you’ve soaked up enough of the good, bad and ugly, you start the process of making decisions for yourself.  This will generally become apparent in the teenage years and depending on how hard those around you try to convince you to just keep your programming in place, and how determined you are to figure out what’s really true for you, it can get pretty ugly.

One of the “rules” you’re taught is that what your parents think of you, really, really matters. The old belief of survival through group acceptance is still in there somewhere, but mostly it’s just a matter of observation. When your mom and dad smile at you, you feel good. You feel good when they feel good. And if you’ve come to be a teacher and uplifted (and if you’re reading this, you almost certainly have), you’re going to equate their good feelings with a job well done. But when they don’t feel good, you want to make them feel better. So, you observe what makes them happy and you try to DO whatever that is. If they still fail to cheer up, you feel like a failure. And thus begins the ugly cycle of believing that what others think of us matters. A lot.

There’s also the fact that we are still, to a degree, mired in the fog of forgetfulness. We are not yet completely aware of our power, although our innate knowing is stronger than it’s ever been. So, there’s still a certain degree of powerlessness and acceptance thereof. We don’t question the fact that someone else has power over us. Our willingness to accept that belief has shrunk with each generation, and today’s kids rebel against this idea more than any other, but if everyone in your reality keeps on insisting that this is how shit works, you’re going to accept it eventually. And even when your natural drive to start thinking for yourself and question things kicks in (and it’s kicking in earlier and earlier), you may find yourself defaulting to the group consensus out of fear for your survival.

It’s time to break the cycle

This is all, however, changing. As I said, each generation is becoming less and less willing to accept these bogus beliefs. And for some of us, it’s time to let them go altogether. We’re waking up now; we’re waking up to the fact that this is a game, that we have a lot more power over our reality than we’ve previously thought. And as a result of this awakening, the game is changing. So now, we can actually accept the idea that energetically speaking, another person truly has no power over us. That we, and we alone determine what comes into our reality. That we are more powerful than we could’ve ever previously imagined.

And that leads me to the answer that you’re now ready to hear. Why do you care what other people think of you? Because you choose to. Because you keep on deciding to, over and over. Because it never seriously occurred to you not to. Until now.

How do you stop caring what others think of you? You decide that what you think is more important. Of course, in order to do that, you have to first give yourself permission to think what you truly want to think, instead of what you think others want you to think. This is kind of a big issue for humanity. A lot of what I do in my coaching practice is to give people permission to acknowledge their true feelings and preferences, often for the first time in their lives. The relief that comes with admitting how you feel (“I hate my job.”, “I don’t feel safe”, “I don’t want to settle anymore!”), is palpable and the first step to leaving the old game behind. The second step is giving what you think more importance than what anyone else thinks, and living from that perspective.

Play the new game

It’s time to move into the new game. When you decide that what you want and what you feel is more important than what other people think, when you own your power, you take yourself out of the construct of the old game. You move out of the Fog of Forgetfulness and into the Era of Empowerment (is this some epic shit or what?).

I know, I know, I could’ve written another post about how to stop giving your power away, but I’ve done that. And you’re ready for more. This stuff isn’t theoretical. It’s real. It’s who we are. And it’s a lot easier than we’ve been making it. The very fact that you’ve realized that you care what others think, even when it clearly doesn’t serve you, and that you want to stop doing that is a sign that you’re ready to move out of that construct.

Caring about the opinion of others once served you. As a caveperson and as a baby, you were dependent on group acceptance. But now, in this era and as an adult, you no longer need to cater to others’ whims, not for survival and not for happiness. It’s time now to focus on feeling good, on emanating the vibration that you want to experience in your reality, instead of simply observing and experiencing. It’s time to decide what you want to experience and then bring that into your reality.  It’s time to take a more active role. It’s time to play a whole new game.

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  • Oh sure, I’m just getting into the point you’re trying to make and then you drop in another picture of that damned sexy Wolverine.

    You can do that again though. Like, any time. An entire blog post of Wolverine shirtless photos to make your point would be more than welcome (and quite frankly, pretty freakin awesome.)

    And here I used to read Deliberate Receiving for the articles… HA HA HA

    Point taken though. I’ve noticed that mentality comes with age, but that age is getting younger and younger now. I’m 27 and I’ve been in the throes of that realization for years.

    Also, this:


  • Great great post as usual! 😉

    But I’m curious how to apply this in situations where you’re actually better off “going with the crowd” than staying true to what you think it’s right or behaving how you actually feel. And that is because most of the people just don’t get it, they don’t read posts like this one 😉

    Of course most of these situations are the ones when you depend on someone, something or a group. One good example would be at work, where by “abiding” to some society/professional rules you’re safe. But if you say what you think about the company or some peers for example, you might get fired.

    • Hey Mr. B,

      “But I’m curious how to apply this in situations where you’re actually better off ‘going with the crowd’ than staying true to what you think it’s right or behaving how you actually feel.”

      You’re never better off being out of alignment with Source.

      If you feel good going with the crowd, then fell free to do so.

      If you do not feel good, you either change your belief so that you do feel good, or change your action to be in accordance with your belief.

      As long as you focus on feeling good and being in alignment, everything that flows to you and through you will be love and abundance.

      “But if you say what you think about the company or some peers for example, you might get fired.”

      Or you might not.

      And even if you do, that’s a great thing, because that job is no longer a vibrational match to you, and another job that is more in alignment with and representative of who you really are will come into your life.

  • Seth Godin blog: (I read him every day – less than a minute for the eyeballs, sometimes a take-away idea for life)

    He writes:

    It’s only high school if you let it

    “I’ll show them!”

    Creative people need fuel. Overcoming the resistance and quieting the lizard brain takes a lot of work. Often, we seek external forces to excite us, inspire us or push us to take the leap necessary to do something that might not work.

    And so we read what the critics write, mistakenly believing that it will help improve the work.

    Or we go to a conference and mentally start comparing ourselves to everyone. He seems to get more respect. He has a better speaking slot. They forgot to list me in the program. She didn’t make eye contact. They must have known that I didn’t want to talk about that. Someone at the reception didn’t look closely at my favorite painting…

    At the very same time you’re persuading yourself that in the hierarchy of whatever-matters-to-you, you are close to last, all the people around you, each with his or her own hierarchy, has put you on the very top, on a pedestal, the person they seek to match or even surpass.

    There are slights available wherever you look. Cool kids excluding you anywhere lunch is served, ever. You just have to look for it.

    But why?

  • Melody, I am in love with this post! I used to care about what others thought of me but no more.

    I mean, back when I first joined up with the Stormfront movement, all of my now-ex friends gave me so much shit, just because I wanted to clean up my country and remove it of the negativity.

    And it hurt, but then I realized that all those people frequently associated with negative and bad people, so severing their relationships was a good thing! I’m proud of my heritage and anyone that gives me crap can burn in Hell! If it means a few people out there in America hate my guts, so be it. They don’t deserve to be a part of my life or my country!

  • Today I went out in public wearing an over-size cotton shirt that is a swirl of pink, crimson, salmon, aqua, purple and magenta. I teamed it with a maroon-coloured bamboo fabric simple knee-length shift, complemented with hot candy pink leggings and hot candy pink sandals. I was channelling my inner six year old but I am over 50. Some women sitting in the coffee shop looked, smirked and giggled. I looked at them, shrugged and smiled – knowing I was absolutely in love with all the colours and the sunshine and the fact I am now have 20kgs less bodyweight than I did in the last decade. I sat in sun just soaking in the glorious NOW – and imagined how inwardly they wanted to be wearing hot pink like me and not give a shit like me …. If I feel and act this carefree now in my 50s, I am going top be really really REALLY dangerous in my 70s! YEAH!

  • Lots of people are thinking about this now apparently. I signed up for a closed Facebook group. Its a 100 day program and basically, you pick a promise to “change” something in your way of thinking and report your progress to the group. There are weekly modules. Its really cool. But anyway, this reminded me of my promise. Which is to do what I love, and follow my intuition without worrying that I’m being selfish for doing so. Your posts lately have helped me so much, along with the group. Perfect timing as always! 🙂

  • I really love the YouTube video blogs. Can you read all of your information to me? I have the audio book and I sit around watching you on YouTube, but there are a few that I have to re-read (trying to make them sink in.. haha) and it would be so nice if they were video blogs too. 🙂 Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy them.


  • Interesting take on why we care what other people think. It actually makes perfect sense!

    I’m not so sure that we actually chose to come down here and play the game though – I think this is an inherit and automatic function of consciousness, which manifest the physical world, but that’s a moot point on the topic of this article, and for another discussion.

    Thanks for the motivation to step beyond caring what other people think. It’s certainly time for it.

  • Over the years I have realised that worrying about what others think of you is a complete waste of time because
    a)they are usually too busy worrying about themselves to care about what you did, said, wore etc for any length of time
    b) if they say or think something negative about you – they are obviously douchebags and who cares what douchebags think anyway??
    c) in the end it’s your life not theirs and
    d) you can’t please all of the people all of the time anyway

  • Like the other commenters above, I have been thinking about this question recently. Why do we care what others think of us? It was a perfectly timed post.
    One thing people often do not realize, and you might have written this before, is that people do not think of us that often. They have their own worries. They think about their lives, and what others are thinking of them most of the time. So if we have 60000 thoughts per day, (some people claim it’s that) and say, 100 thoughts are them being negative about us (that’s probably more than we would get,) that’s only .167% of their thoughts. Not 1.67, .167. Not even 1 fifth of a percent of their thoughts. That’s miniscule.
    Also, you mentioned that teenagers are rebeling against the people who are trying to get them to “stick to their programming.” About that, there’s this really scary thing I keep up with. We call it the troubled teen industry. Basically, there are schools out there which take teenagers and make them shape up. They often use awful brainwashing techniques. Parents can send teens to these schools for anything from rebeling against authority to anxiety to depression to drug issues. I’ve read stories of teens who are sent for not agreeing with the religion they are raised in, or just having different beliefs from their families. This is a very drastic way that some parents use to stop teens from thinking for themselves. .
    The positive of all of this is there are survivors of these places who speak out all over the internet. The survivor stories are so amazing. People who go through so much crap come out of it, and then go on to speak out and help others. There are several groups who are now speaking out against this.
    In some strange way, I really feel that this connects to what you said about people questioning the beliefs we are programmed with more and more. If there were not teens who questioned these beliefs so blatently, this wouldn’t be happening. While these schools are awful, they seem to be a manifestation, of sorts, of people finally waking up and questioning everything.

  • It’s funny to me that I often can’t really tell from how I feel where I’m vibrating (I think I had become, out of self-preservation, maybe quite numb to my own emotions? and/or I am really outstanding at lying to myself about how I feel, still) but instead can often get a read on where I am based on how I’m thinking about other people.

    For instance: for many years, I thought that people should be humble, and admired humble people, and humbly (so I thought) rejected professional praise and so on. But more recently, I’ve found myself being delighted by people I used to find arrogant. So long as I consider the person genuinely talented, things that once made me think “He sure is full of himself!” now make me think tolerant, amused thoughts about how the person is really feeling frisky and proud of how great they are – and why not, because they _are_ great, we all are, and isn’t it fun to see someone reveling in their own greatness like that?

    At the same time, I have slowly begun to let go of what other people think of me. It’s slightly slower going in myself, but I can see the behavior in others and feel good about it now, which certainly wasn’t always the case! (How I used to feel grumpy about people who clearly felt good about themselves!)

  • I could not resonate with this post.

    Caring about what others think and said is normal. It is part of growing up. We are social animals. We are wired that way.
    Interdependency is the a sign of the maturity. It’s a positive, not a negativity.

    1. baby stage: dependence.
    2. Adolescent to adult stage : Independence.
    3. Mature stage: inter-dependence.

    The balance here is to make sure one is not relying too much on others (falling back to babyhood) or letting others relying too much on you (allowing them to be babies).
    no one likes 100% independent. notice how parent can’t live with teenagers who demands too much independent. Even when teenagers to have it their way and are being left alone to do as they please, they feel so lonely.
    The right amount is 50% dependent, 50% independent.

    When you let others influence you too much, you are not in control – you feel powerless like a baby.
    When you influence others too much and they all cling on you, it’s bothersome and suffocating – feels like a frustrated and lonely teenager celebrity.

    • Hi there:
      I agree that we are social animals, and we cannot do everything on our own. However, the problem comes when we literally let other people’s judgements or opinions about us bother us. I am going to give an example. For this example, I will presuppose that you believe at least a tiny bit in the law of attraction, considering you are reading this blog and I have seen you comment previously. If I am incorrect, I appologize. Keeping the presupposition in mind though, say some people told you that you were insane for believing in it. That you are nuts and not grounded in reality. the LOA is BS. They kept saying antagonistic things along those lines. (yuck, just typing those things makes me want to wash my hands lololol) Now say you took that all to heart and felt bad about it. You let the other people “get to you.” That is the kind of thing I believe Melody is talking about here. Letting the judgements of others get to you. Letting it get to you when people try to dictate your life, judge you, etc. I do not believe she is discouraging getting assistance from others or depending on the help and support of others.
      If there was anything you found unclear, I hope this cleared things up. I am up extremely late and my writing brain is turning off as I type this, so if what I am getting at is unclear or confusing, I appologize.

  • Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, once again! Perfect! I go to bed with concern my last thought due to it being a prominent thought of the day. ” here I go again, losing my power to worrying want others think of me and how they perceive my metaphysical enquiry” and I wake up to your email Melody. A topic I find myself revisiting over and over again. But this time it feels different. I need to take hold of this feeling. It’s time for me to reach in deep and remember my truth………… Yeah! I’m ready this time round to let my truth be worn and practice who I really am and love and accept my true inner yearning.
    Perfect timing!!! Awesome reminder!!!!! Thanks again xxx

  • Hey Melody
    This was a great post, and something that almost everyone can benefit from. In my own personal development work, I realized that our concerns about how others perceive us can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks to truly living the life we want–intellectually we know it doesn’t matter,etc…but on an emotional level, I gather most of us would prefer approval, agreement,etc….and none of that yucky judgment or criticism. While I can’t make any claims I have totally released on caring about this, I definitely just do what I want anyway and power through the discomfort…but, I do worry a lot less as I realize that their reaction is all about their own ‘stuff’ and has nothing to do with me. My family kind of doesn’t get my life, and I have received lots of criticism…so I’m used to it!

    • Hey Kelli,

      ”I do worry a lot less as I realize that their reaction is all about their own ‘stuff’ and has nothing to do with me. My family kind of doesn’t get my life, and I have received lots of criticism…so I’m used to it!”

      And that’s a great perspective to have, to focus on what you want, regardless of the approval of others.

      At the same time, people’s reactions and your family not understanding you are limiting beliefs you have created from observing what-is.

      You can, if you want to, focus on how you want people to view you and treat you. And, not needing them to treat you differently in order for you to continue to view them as treating you differently. That even if they are still treating you negatively, you still view them as treating you the way you want them to; that they are beginning to, and you are seeing more evidence that they are treating you positively.

      Remember, people really can’t act beyond your expectations of them. So, if you don’t like their negative perspectives, then you can change their interactions with you by viewing them as now giving you more positive responses and understanding you more.

      As Wayne Dyer says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

      And people in your life will begin to match and reflect back to you your new positive, empowering belief about how they interact with you.

      • Hi Brian
        Thanks so much for your comment. Everything you said is so true. I’ll admit that in all my LOA work, I havent given much thought to ‘rectifying’ this issue, but everything you said is spot on. I am definitely going to start paying more attention to my thoughts and feelings around this issue. Great insight here!

        • Brian,

          How about if they continue to be hypercritical of the way you live? To the point that they get angry by the way you live? If you keep thinking positive thoughts and not get upset or angry from their criticism (after all, you do not criticize them), and laugh it off, will LOA not bring you together, as you are not a vibrational match? Will that work, if you continue doing your thing and they remain negative?

          This is a good topic for discussion and thank you both Kelli and Brian.

          • Hey A,

            ”How about if they continue to be hypercritical of the way you live?”

            Remember, anyone who is critical of you is one of your greatest teachers.

            If you feel negative emotion in response to them judging you, then they are a wonderful teacher because they are helping reflect to you a part of yourself you haven’t fully incorporated and loved that you didn’t know about or haven’t fully accept yet.

            And they are giving you an opportunity to love this part of you and replace your limiting belief with a more empowering one, and then you will feel neutral or positive emotion in response to them.

            “If you keep thinking positive thoughts and not get upset or angry from their criticism (after all, you do not criticize them), and laugh it off, will LOA not bring you together, as you are not a vibrational match?”

            When you laugh it off, I recommend doing that internally, as it is not respectful to do it in front of them.

            You will no longer be brought together on that frequency.

            You may still rendezvous with each other, just on higher frequencies that feel good. Everyone has negative and positive frequencies, and based on what frequency you are on, you will attract that frequency from others as well.

            Also, at least in the early stages, you will receive the same exact conditions to see if you’ve really changed. If you focus on being positive, and someone is still criticizing you and you feel negative emotion in response, then you haven’t really changed.

            If you respond to the same conditions differently, with love and positivity, that shows yourself and the Universe you’ve really changed, and so the conditions will change to reflect to you your new positive point of focus.

            ”Will that work, if you continue doing your thing and they remain negative?”

            Yes. And people typically are only negative towards you because you are on the frequency and so Law of Attraction is giving you what you focus on.

            When you change your focus, your point of attraction changes as well.

            So, even if someone has a negative intention towards you, you only give it a positive meaning and so you will only receive a positive effect.

            That is unconditional happiness.

            You no longer feel the need to criticize or judge them back, or defend yourself, because you don’t receive their negativity personally anymore.

            You simply observe it, and think, “That’s interesting.”

            Or if you want to, you could say “That’s a good point, I never thought about that. Thank you, I appreciate you letting me know.”

          • “Yes. And people typically are only negative towards you because you are on the frequency and so Law of Attraction is giving you what you focus on.”

            Even if this was the frequency you grew up with and the one that dominated the household, huh? If this frequency is coming from them and I thought I was showing them the freq they were on. If I am not on this frequency, regardless of where it comes from, then I still won’t be affected by it. Blaming them for my misery will continue to keep me in that freq, won’t it?

            Releasing fears instilled in you takes practice, too. In essence, it is just a fear, nothing more. It does not come to fruition either, that thing you fear.

            I can’t keep thinking it was a terrible way to grow up either, can I? I have to stop that. There were times in the vortex growing up that none of that got to me, so I have been there. I am in and out of ruts, that is why I experience the lower frequency, so the thing is maintaining a steady higher vibe. At least this is the case here. Thank you. Peace and Light.

          • Hey A,

            ”If I am not on this frequency, regardless of where it comes from, then I still won’t be affected by it.”


            Or at the very least, you will no longer be negatively affected by it.

            You could choose to receive a neutral or positive effect if you want, and focus on the positive of what you can learn from the contrast you have experienced.

            ”Blaming them for my misery will continue to keep me in that freq, won’t it?”

            Yes, because you would be coming from the limiting belief that they are the creator of your reality, or that they can create in your reality against what you want, instead of you are the creator of your reality.

            As Abraham as said, the victim and the victimizer rendezvous on the same frequency–and that is they both feel powerless and not self-empowered.

            The more you feel empowered to create your reality, anything not of an empowering frequency will leave and whatever is positive and empowering will naturally gravitate towards you.

            ”I can’t keep thinking it was a terrible way to grow up either, can I?”

            You can, if it feels good and empowering for you to do so.

            If it does not feel good, then you may want to shift your view to a more positive perspective.

            What did you learn about yourself and your life that has helped you become more clear about what you want because of how you grew up?

            ”I have to stop that.”

            You don’t have to, you get to.

            It is your freedom to choose however you want to feel and what you want to focus on.

            ”so the thing is maintaining a steady higher vibe.”

            And that is most easily accomplished by starting the day with positive focus.

            Right when you wake up, focus for 10 – 15 minutes on appreciating things in your life, focus on getting on the high flying disc, dance around if you want, and just feel good.

            Get excited. Get excited about the day! Focus on what feeling good and get happy right when you wake up.

            That positive momentum you create will help you to be focused on feeling fun, positive and empowered throughout the rest of the day.

  • Ha I’ve been thinking about this all day, as this last week has been full of things trying to hammer this message in to me! Lots of uncomfortable feelings in social situations that I don’t usually get, showing me just how much I am still dependent on outside validation. I love that this post came at this time 🙂 I also love how every time I see one of your titles I think I know what you’re going to say (still look forward to it!) and I’m always completely wrong and you go ten steps further.

  • Perfect timing, as always, Melody! Over the weekend, I stumbled across an online post about how the waning moon is a great time to let go and release. Since there’ll be a new moon soon, I made a list of several beliefs that no longer serve me. The very first thing I listed was “others’ beliefs about, desires for, and opinions of me.” Wolverine agrees!

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