It could be said that all limiting beliefs really come down to one thing: unworthiness. When we feel powerless, when we feel like we have no control, when we deny the sheer grandeur and importance of Who We Really Are, we fail to understand our own value. We all feel unworthy in one way or another; it’s just a matter of degrees, really. But “unworthiness” is such a broad term. And you may have heard me say that a feeling of low worth can’t generally be shifted by simply insisting that we are, in fact, worthy. Usually, it’s much more effective to tackle individual symptoms of said unworthiness (specific manifestations and their underlying beliefs), rather than the whole core belief at once.

Having said that, however, I’ve been finding myself using a particular metaphor over and over again these past few weeks, to illustrate to my coaching clients why they simply cannot be unworthy. Worthiness is an inherent part of our design. This metaphor has become one of my all-time favorites, and today, I’d like to share it with you. You’re welcome.

You’re not a Human Doing

Most people in today’s world derive their sense of value from what they are able to DO – what they are able to accomplish for themselves or others. We like to help, teach, protect, and serve others, and the better we are at it, the more valuable we’re allowed to feel. In fact, most people only see themselves as valuable to the degree that others do; if you can influence someone else positively and they see your usefulness, then your presence on this planet is justified.

Many of us in the Western world also derive our value and worth from how much we’re able to produce – how much money we can make, how many goods we can manufacture, how much work we can DO or how much crap we HAVE. This is the belief system that leads to workaholism (“If only I do enough, I will finally prove my worthiness”), as well as a socio-economic system that values only those who contribute financially. This is how you get a system that values life – human, animal and vegetable – only in terms of what it contributes to the bottom line.

The basic tenets of this belief are twofold:

  1. Life itself has no inherent value (therefore we can exploit it mercilessly)
  2. Value and worthiness must be demonstrated (unworthiness is assumed until proven otherwise)

At its most extreme, this belief system leads to a devaluation of life in all forms, which allows us to:

  • Treat groups of people of a certain race, gender, sexuality, etc., as though they are disposable or worth less than others
  • Send hundreds of thousands of young people off to fight and die in wars, treating the body count as “collateral damage”
  • Continually make decisions that prioritize profit over human lives
  • Plunder and destroy the earth’s natural resources with no thought of giving anything back (“It’s all free! And it only has value once we process it!”)
  • Subject animals into dark, horrific, disease inducing, soul destroying and unbelievably inhumane conditions in the name of food and cosmetic production
  • Write off the poor and homeless as simply lazy (“If they produced more, they would be more valuable and therefore more valued”)
  • Prioritize money, status and power over health, happiness, connection, or pretty much anything else

All human cruelty, whether it’s directed at others or ourselves is a result of our sense of unworthiness. When we don’t value ourselves, we can’t value others and vice versa.

The problem with this belief system (other than that it’s responsible for all human atrocities) is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and creates a cycle that never leads to worthiness. As long as you believe yourself to be unworthy, you’ll never be able to manifest evidence of your worthiness. All you can ever do is try to prove your value, while never actually being able to achieve that goal. So you work harder, play less, beat up on yourself more, and chase the almighty Dollar (or Euro or Pound or whatever). You also start buying as much stuff as you can. In short, if you DO enough or HAVE enough, maybe you’ll BE enough. And if that doesn’t work, you can always go beat up on someone or something else. You may then still not be all that worthy, but you’re obviously more valuable that this miserable little pile of defenselessness.

But that’s just now how it works.

You can’t NOT be worthy

Our worthiness, as I said, is inherent. We can’t NOT be worthy. It’s part of the design of the whole game. If we weren’t worthy, we wouldn’t be here. Creation doesn’t make mistakes. In fact, it’s our very presence that IS our worthiness. Let me explain:

Think of the sun; yep, that big, hot, ball of light in the sky. Do you think the sun is valuable? Of course you do. We literally couldn’t live without it. Now, if you’ll allow me to anthropomorphize our big, yellow friend for a moment, imagine that the sun was having a bad day. He’s up there, shining his little heart out, having an existential crisis, and wondering if anything he does is worth it. He worries, and cries and bitches and complains, and maybe talks to some of the other stars in the solar system. He wonders if he’s doing enough… Maybe he should acquire a few more planets? Other solar systems are so much bigger. What to do?

While the sun is grappling with his own sense of value, however, life continues to go on, on planet Earth. You see, the sun’s value doesn’t come from what it DOES. It comes from what it IS. The sun can’t help but shine; it’s a big freaking ball of fire and light! (Yes, scientists, I know it’s technically a ball of gas, but I’m making a point and besides, the “gas” thingy would’ve just led to a whole lot of poop and fart jokes. By me. Because I’m basically a 13 year old.) The point is, the sun doesn’t have to prove its value. It doesn’t have to DO anything. It is valuable simply because it’s there. Its presence IS its value. Period.

You are like the sun. You are here to shine and you do, whether you know it or not. You are here to observe and experience, to play the game. Your very presence here is what makes the Universe expand. Every time you have any kind of experience, you determine what you like and what you don’t like. These two perspectives (wanted and unwanted) are like two sides of the same coin, with the topic being the coin. So, poverty and abundance are two sides of the same coin, for example. Every time you determine what you don’t want, you automatically determine what you want instead, even if you’re not consciously aware of or focusing on it. The determination is made and that data becomes part of the Universal database. And every time more information is added to that database, it expands. You are adding to the expansion and evolution of the Universe simply by existing.

You don’t have to DO anything to make that value happen. You’re already BEING it. You are shining like that sun, providing your value, even while you’re wondering about and arguing against your own worthiness. So, you can’t NOT be valuable. You’ve got value squishing out of your pores. You can’t stop being valuable; and you can’t do anything to become MORE valuable; and you can’t do anything to mess it up. Your value just is. You shine whether you want to or not, whether you’re aware of it or not. You shine no matter what.

The only question that remains is: “Are you benefiting from your own light?”

Are you hiding in the dark?

You can’t not be valuable, but you can certainly deny or ignore your own value. You can’t not shine your light, but you can certainly hide in the shadows and refuse to come out and be illuminated by it. Just as you can block out the sun with an umbrella, so can you block out your own worthiness by choosing to believe that you don’t have any.

This, it has to be said, is a painful and decidedly un-fun way to live.

Of course, I can’t make you feel worthy with one blog post. Nor can you achieve a feeling of total worthiness in one day; it’s a spectrum. But you can open yourself up to the idea of (and therefore the energy of) being worthy, by seeing yourself as the sun. Allow yourself to adopt and play with the concept of being worthy simply because you exist.

What if you didn’t have to prove your value anymore, but simply accepted it as a given? What if you didn’t have to DO anything in order to be considered a valuable member of society, but were simply accepted as such? What if everyone was? What if all life was considered sacred and worthy of dignity and respect?

Do you want to live in such a world? Well, if you want to see the value in everything and everyone, then you have to start with yourself. Don’t expect others to see what you aren’t willing to. Make a choice today and see yourself as inherently and awesomely worthy. Just because you exist. Because that’s exactly what you are. Shine on my puppies. Shine on.

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  • I’ve already replied, but this post deserved a second round. It looks like this hits a core issue for many of us. Thinking back on my times of trouble and sorrow, it all leads back to a deeply embedded feeling of shame and worthlessness. This powerful post made me realize that I don’t have to believe what my brain has been telling me for the past 35 years. Thank you again, Melody. This was obviously what many people needed to hear.

  • This is an amazing blog post – thank you so much.
    It got me thinking.

    New born babies and young children are looked upon as the most “worthy” in society – wherever you are from. They don’t have to be, do or have anything to be worthy of love – they are perfection just as they are. Most of us would give our own lives to protect a child we loved. But then they grow up and become the same as the rest of us – needing to prove them themselves worthy of our love, compassion and acceptance.

    At what age do we lose that worthiness? At what age will your children lose it? At what age did you lose it?

    At a recent birthday party my 9 year old nephew was happily running around after his 18 month old cousin and he said to me “I can’t believe everyone started out like that.” I said “Yep, even pop” (his grandfather).

    We are still that worthy, lovable, cheeky child at our core. We never lose it.
    We just forgot.

  • Thank you so much for this post, Melody!
    I have been in a rut for a long time now, and I really needed this post. Today’s the first time in two weeks that I’ve felt human – normal, feeling.
    So thank you, thank you, thank you.
    I love all your blog posts, and this one really hit home. THANK YOU.
    I’ve been stuck still, and the universe has been telling me I’ve got some limiting beliefs regarding worth, and this was just what I needed to hear. It’s helped me release some resistance that I was holding onto.
    I know it’s only the beginning.
    Have a fantastic day, Melody!

  • This is something I think about a lot, almost on a daily basis: worthiness. I listen to Abe, and agree that we, as souls, as Who We Really Are, as extensions of pure positive energy in physical body, ARE worthy. We are all worthy to the Source. We are worthy for our unique perspective that we offer.

    So, our SOUL, is worthy, and is good, and is Light. But not us in human form. Often I watch mean, arrogant people, who by ( no ) coincidence are also unattractive and with limited education and intelligence, and think : ” wow. It is beyond my comprehension HOW can a pure soul reach like that.” That these people are extensions of pure positive energy seems unthinkable. Is their soul worthy? Yes, it is, their Inner Being is Goodness, but they are not. I know it is because of their pain , and blah blah,I read all that and get it, but we all have pains and not all of us feel the need to put others down. That in my book decrease worthiness as a human being.

    Secondly, I struggle with my worthiness as a woman. Am I attractive enough, intelligent enough, successful enough, popular enough, for the type of men I m attracted to? And the answer within says no. Yes, I am a worthy Soul, worthy to the Source as much as the top model on the magazine cover. But I don’t feel worthy enough of a mate who has qualities that I like, and that I perceive I don’t have, or don’t have enough of. Am I worthy to be at the arm of an attractive, successful businessman, when I am shy and won’t make bright conversation in public? Am I worthy of dating hunk, when I put on the extra pounds ( as I periodically do ) ? The voice within says no, and it refers to the human form, not the Soul, for I know with all doubts that our Sousl are worthy.

    But what of us? We seem divided in superior quality people ( the kind and beautiful and smart, the whole package), middle level ( the majority), and low quality people ( mean, ugly, rude, and not too bright). Help out here, Melody, my diverse daily environment brings this question a lot in my mind…

    • A misconception people can have is that they are there body. But, as Wayne Dyer has said, you are not your body. The body is a temporary physically focused form to help you move about this physical reality. It’s like a rental car. You rent a car when you go to a new place, but you understand you are not the car. It helps you, but it is not you. You understand the distinction between you and the car. And this awareness also helps you understand the difference between you and your body. They are two parts working together.?

      ”Secondly, I struggle with my worthiness as a woman. Am I attractive enough, intelligent enough, successful enough, popular enough, for the type of men I m attracted to?”?

      The thing is, there is not a numerical value or set standard on “enough.” The only thing people typically base enough off of is the opinions of other people. But, other people’s opinions continue to vary depending on their mood and how they feel, so they could feel you are beautiful one day and not the next. So, basing how you feel about yourself and your body on the fluctuating opinions of others will never give you a stable sense of self-love and acceptance that you want to feel.?

      When you base your body’s value off of the opinions of others, regardless of what you do it will never be enough, because it was never their job to make you feel enough–it’s your job.?

      You want to care more about how you think and feel about you than about how someone else feels about you.?

    • Try to drop this concept of worthy or unworthy, be it as pure soul or human being. Can you really try not to think yourself as worthy/unworthy?? Do it for a minute. Forget for atleast 1 minute that such idea even exist. And then be just Serene like your name 🙂

  • Last night I was really really searching for how to release my core belief. I couldn’t figure out just what it was though and this after letting my mind wander and follow the emotions that were welling up in me, I realized that it was a deep deep deep feeling of unworthiness. It isn’t tied to any one event so much as the environment I grew up in and how my parents dealt with us. In the moment I realized I hated that I didn’t get what I needed emotionally as a young boy and then saw how my coping mechanisms I adopted then are manifesting in my life in various ways.

    I’ve been running running running, chasing things to fill that hole I’ve always felt in my heart. In that moment I FINALLY understood that it’s up to be to provide for myself that which I felt I was always lacking. I need to be good to myself. I need to be good to myself. I need to love myself. I need to be the person I portend to be to others but never to myself. When that all hit me, I cried and cried and cried. It was sad. It was exhilarating. It was the ultimate realization for me. And now I feel that I can finally move forward in my life and take extra care to allow the real me to show, and in the process allow the things I really want to come in.

    So this article is very timely for me and thank you for writing it today. Today of all days for me. For the first time in 40 years that ache in my heart is not there. Simply because I now truly believe I am a pretty ok dude.

  • The sun analogy is telling Melody. We do shine like mad and are worthy and are everything when you think about it. We’re a part of the complete whole, making us whole and complete now. I remind myself of that when i feel unworthy, or undeserving. We can’t will ourselves to be worthy. We just are. Willing ourselves to be worthy would be like willing the sun to rise. The sun does damn well on its own, thank you, being whole and complete.

    We are also whole and complete, and worthy, as is. Realizing this, I can try to get less, and can stop basing my worthiness on doings and action and achievements and all that stuff that involves acting in some way. At times, I catch myself basing my feelings and worthiness on getting a ton of shit done in the morning. I may write 6,000 words a day, or, I may publish an in-depth post along with a handful of articles for clients. All well and good but since I’m whole and complete as is, I could have laid in bed, and been just as worthy.

    Of course I’ll take some action because I enjoy acting, and am aligned with it, by my worthiness does not depend on anything other than my existence.

    Melody, thanks for shining bright like the sun, with your white-hot analogies 😉


  • Wow!…a TRULY EMPOWERING…INSPIRING….UPLIFTING post indeed!…the SUN analogy was fantastic….it felt REASSURING knowing that we are all WORTHY simply because we exist….CREATION doesn’t make any mistakes…thats a POWERFUL STATEMENT n we should make it our anthem……but there is some confusion in my mind…..does this mean that even the people who do bad things are WORTHY?????….IS IT BY DESIGN????….please explain THIS…..thanks n GOD BLESS….

    • “does this mean that even the people who do bad things are WORTHY?????….IS IT BY DESIGN????….”

      Everyone is worthy. If Source said, “These people are worthy based on their good actions, and these people are not based on their not good actions” that is conditional love. We are all loved unconditionally.

      There are not good and bad things, there are wanted and lack of wanted things.
      Something cannot happen to you without your allowing of it into your life experience. And, people attract what happens to them through their thoughts and what they give their attention to. There can be prearranged agreements of, for example, “In this life, I will do this to you, and in another life you will do the same to me, so we each can experience both sides of contrast.”

      You can never get it wrong and you never get it done. It is all continual love and expansion.

  • Awesome blog post, really put a new perspective on this subject which is great. Thank you. It’s these four words of yours that really stood out for me, Creation doesn’t make mistakes. Thank you

  • Dear Melody,

    You have no idea how much your articles and posts have changed my life.

    What if someday in a distant future I can meet you, give you a big hug of gratitude and share everything I’ve gone through and going through?

    I hit rock bottom of my life this year 31st May. I told myself enough is enough (trust me, I’m the devil in my story, LOL, my wife should know). Since then changes after changes and months after in mid October I came across your site and the rest is history.

    My energy has changed.

    My vibration has changed.

    My feeling in core now is all about being happy, going with the flow without any blocks, and when I do have something blocking I’m getting better each day tuning myself to the happy frequency, asking myself the “What if” questions that raises my vibration instantly.

    The Schrödinger’s Cat always keeping me on the positive side, a great help in my business for not assuming my clients will say “no” (I had issues in this , stopping me making the calls, but no longer an issue). I’m keeping the cat alive, my clients will say yes, until they really say no.

    But the “What if” questions is doing a FANTASTIC job for me, eliminating my need for future worries and seeing situations and others in whole lot different view altogether.

    Today’s note on the Sun, is the sucker punch. We are shining no matter what, even if we never going to appear on Forbes or Times magazine. We absolutely are already perfect the way we are, don’t need to try to become perfect by doing anything, whether or not people say we are perfect.

    Over the time I am also being able to realise other’s vibration and where they stand and how I don’t need to tell them, help them in anyways, because I can see how they are already doing it for themselves.

    I can see the “signs” now how the universe is arranging everything blocks by blocks “for” me. I’m in love with the Universe. It all makes sense now, and before this year May I ealised how everything in the past i received both what i wanted and didn’t want, BUT now i can see it clearly, how it didn’t happen “to” me but I asked for it. LOL.

    I am now ready to let the miracles of the Universe to happen. I am ready to receive. In fact all I’m doing these days are RECEIVING, DELIBERATELY.

    Love you Melody, Thank you so much.

  • Hey Melody
    Wow, wow, a million times wow. I loved this post for a million different reasons, but the one that sticks out to me most is the idea of being a human being not ‘doing.’ We put so much pressure on ourselves to always be taking some sort of action, to, like you said, prove our worth and that we deserve good things. The sheer fact we exist is enough to let us know we are worthy of whatever good things life has to offer. This also brings to mind the idea of not feeling so much pressure to always be doing something, or finding our ‘purpose.’ Our primary purpose is to experience life from our own unique perspective, and just do things that make us joyful…that can take some pressure off I think.

    Amazing as always!

    • Everything you wrote is so true. We grow up with these false beliefs installed and strongly ingrained in us by society- that our worthiness is contingent upon what we do or don’t do, our worthiness is dependent on how valuable others see us, we’re unworthy until we “prove” ourselves via a “successful” career. It never occurred to me to step outside of these limiting beliefs until I was introduced to Abraham. Their message of inherent, unconditional worthiness resonated with me so powerfully I immediately released (almost) all my limiting beliefs on the subject.
      Thank you again for beautiful post! It’s rare to meet someone who sees all human beings as worthy, but we indeed all are!

      • Hi Natalie. I appreciate and relate to your comment about Abraham. I have been listening to Abraham for years and their “message of inherent, unconditional worthiness” as you term it, is the reason why I have also resonated with them more than any other teacher! Even if I never learn anything else from Abraham or any teacher, that message by itself is so empowering and uplifting! Thank you for your comment!

  • Oh, Melody, thank you so much for this! My heart has been very heavy for a while now. While I’ve made VAST improvements in spiritual/emotional growth over the past few years I know there are times when I relapse into those feelings of unworthiness. I can trace several reactions, situations, etc. back to that feeling now that I have more clarity. Feeling unworthy leads to feeling powerless over our situation, which is not what life is about. Thank you for this post.

    And I had a vision of the cartoon sun on the box of Raisin Bran crying his eyes out. LOL

  • A wonderful, awesome, fantastic post, Melody! You have given me this message before in coaching calls and I am always in need of a reminder. You are right, as usual, that relaxing into the full appreciation of our own worthiness is not something we can accomplish in a day. But we cannot move along thatpath unless we allow ourselves to start the journey.

    I really needed to read this!

    Thank you!

  • Thank you so much for your valuable and truly inspiring post! Whilst reading it, the lyrics of “Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel suddenly popped into my mind….
    Lovely words of wisdom on a dark and cold winter’s evening (it’s 6pm in Germany) – the sun metaphor is heart warming and will lift the spirits of your readers – well, it did work for me! 🙂

  • I hate to have to nitpick after reading such an inspiring post, but, for the sake of literal accuracy, I have to point out that our solar system has only one star=the sun. If he has to talk to another star, though, he can find millions more in our galaxy. 😀

  • My eyes are welling up with tears right now – good tears. 🙂
    I have been going through a shit storm of sorts for a couple of weeks now and I have been hearing a teeny little voice telling me to stop being so hard on myself and that I need to forgive myself.
    Thank you for this post. I’m starting to feel that icky dark cloud lift. 🙂
    Speaking of the sun: I recently finished a book called “Take Off Your Glasses and See”. It was written by a former eye doctor who now practices holistic vision therapy (he even talks about vibrations 🙂 ) and one of the techniques he suggests is sunning. I have been sunning everyday for about a week now and I just love how peaceful it feels and the energy I get from it. I have a newfound appreciation for the sun and my vision has gone from 20/160 to 20/125 in just under a week – I’m shooting for 20/20 some time next year. 🙂
    What a miracle healer Mr. Sun is!

    • Summer Star,

      Thanks for sharing this info and I am glad you feel better. I have the same book, but don’t really have any time to read it nowadays. I’ve been trying to improve my vision but it only gets worse with more layers in the way making things blurry. Thank you for this encouraging comment. That is how I’d like to see, how I used to see!

      • Hi A!
        Yeah his book is awesome! I never tied blurry vision to stress before. I just assumed it was hereditary – almost everyone in my family wears glasses or contacts. But he says that most people had some sort of really traumatic event occur around the time their vision started to blur and that was very true for me. So I’m working on forgiving myself for that decision I made AND healing my vision.

        I really think this is going to work because my vision fluctuates like he said it would. Every now and then everything comes into complete focus (20/20) just for a few seconds, but then I sort of have a mini freak out and it blurs again. I’m like “Holy shit! Is this really happening?” And then it blurs again. lol I finally got the guts to throw my contacts away. So that was a big step. Definitely read that book when you get the chance to A. I think it just might change your life. 🙂

  • I just couldn’t ‘not’ comment after reading this post. The value of the content aside, my oh my…what a great writer you are. I loved the flow of this post, the reference to the sun bitching and complaining had me in splits. What an amazing blog and what an amazing person you are! I have the eBook of Deliberate Receiving in my smart phone and I hear it almost everyday. I have heaps of LOA books both practical and extremely esoteric, but yours is the only one that made a lick of sense. The fact you went the extra mile and gave an audio version as well is so good it is illegal. Thanks dear for spreading your light and lots of love to you! <3

    • I listen to her audio book almost daily myself! It’s good to know someone else does too 🙂 No matter how far I get in the process of staying in vibrational alignment and learning more and more about LOA — I always go back to her audio book. The simplicity is amazing!

  • Bravo, Mel! Really loved this and it’s a tough bit of resistance to drop. But like you said, it’s a spectrum and we have to start somewhere! I remember watching a Bashar video where he said, “the mere fact that you exist makes you worthy; if you weren’t worthy, you would not be here.” It was an a-ha moment for me but you took it a step further, I simply love your metaphor! Just this morning on my drive in to work I was admiring and being thankful for Mr. Sun and all of “his” wonderful qualities and here you go adding to that! Not a coincidence, of course, but it always makes me smile!

    big hugs!

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