Sure, it’s easy to manifest a parking spot. We’ve all done it, right? But why is it so much harder to manifest the really important stuff, like a huge pile of money, a great job or a wonderful relationship? Why are the small things so easy, while the big stuff is so elusive? Today’s video explains why some manifestations seem easier than others, but really don’t have to be. You’re welcome!
Awesome Reggie’s Burning Question
“I have been trying to use the law of attraction for years now, and I have come to the conclusion that expectation is at the root of the law of attraction. But I cannot find any techniques on how to make your expectations manifest. What I mean by expectation is the “knowing” that you already have whatever you desire from the LOA. For example, I have noticed that the little things I think about seem to manifest almost instantly. That’s because it’s such a small thing, and I expect it almost like a natural reflex. The big things however, don’t manifest. I have not found anything to help develop expectations. I have read somewhere that expectation is increased every time you manifest a desire, that’s why novices are told to stay small when trying to manifest something. I am looking for some techniques to help keep the same level of expectation, whether it’s a small thing or a big thing.”
Well Reggie, first of all, I would like to change the word “expectation” in your question to the word “trust”. It will then make a lot more sense, because when we are talking about the word expectation it’s very easy to get confused. There’s the general type of expectation of “Things are going to be great!” – a general expectation that good things are going to come to you. You also have very specific expectations, for example, wanting a Mercedes SLK in your driveway next week (preferably in red, thank you very much).
When we talk about trust, this is what I would translate your question as: Trust does build over time. Every time you manifest successfully and you consciously see what you did and how it then manifested, you’ll know that you actually did that. When that happens, you develop more and more trust. As everything is a progression (everything grows or diminishes), your trust will grow over time as you continue to accept the manifestations that are coming in as valid evidence that you are doing this and that The Law of Attraction works.
Why are small things easier to manifest than the big things?
The reason that small things are so much easier to manifest than the big things is because we have decided that they are BIG THINGS. We’ve decided that they are big deals and the reason we make big deals out of them is because they mean more to us. Usually when things mean more to us, when they are big deals, it means they are further away vibrationally, and we tend to have a little bit more resistance.
Finding a parking space is not a big deal; if you find one or not, it’s not going to affect your life in a huge way. And boy is it nice when you focus on having a free parking space and you get into the feeling state of that (remember that is always the key, the feeling state), and then parking spots show up. But, I’ve got to tell you, I never ever order a parking space from the Universe anymore, but I always get a parking space wherever I go, right in front, even when other people are in the car! How is that? Well, it’s because I’m in a really good feeling state, I’m in a happy, generally positive expectant state. I trust that the Universe is doing everything that it can to bring me stuff that makes me feel good, and finding a parking space right up front, makes me feel good. But a parking space isn’t a big risk; there’s not a lot of resistance to that because again, if it doesn’t show up, then you’ll get a parking space in the back. You’ll figure out some alternative.
When you’re thinking about something like a relationship, or you want a certain job, or you want a bunch of money, there’s usually a big risk to not achieving that, and a great deal of disappointment if you don’t achieve it.
How do you build trust that what you want will manifest?
The technique that I can give you for building trust (that will hopefully be satisfying to you), is not so much a technique as it is a process. Continue to manifest consciously but do so from a place of not having any specific expectations. When you get really specific about things, what you are saying is that this thing has to manifest so that you can feel the way you want to feel, but right now you don’t feel that way and you won’t until the thing that you want to manifest, actually manifests. When it does, then you will feel the way you want to feel. Do you see the cycle that you’re stuck in?
If you don’t feel the way that you want to feel now, you are not a match to that vibration and then that thing that represents that cannot come into your reality. It cannot manifest. What you want to do is to decide why you want that thing, and if you even want it (maybe you want something else instead…) As we start to ask ourselves why do we want this thing, a lot of the time our desire becomes a lot more concrete, and we are able to see that what we actually want is maybe something even bigger than that, further than that, better than that, or slightly different from that.
The difference between wanting and needing something to manifest
The next thing is to figure out how you actually want to feel and do everything that you can to get into that feeling state. One of the techniques that you can use to do that is to visualize what you want, but again, be careful not to decide that you must have this thing, because there’s a difference between wanting and needing. When you want something, that’s great, but when you need it you are saying, “I need this thing so that I can feel good, because without it I do not feel good.” Trusting will get you into that good feeling state; you get into positive expectation, anticipation. If you know you’re going to Paris next week and you already have the tickets, you’re not impatient about it because you know you’re going. You’re not constantly checking the ticket or worrying if you’re all organized. You’re just in a positive place of anticipation.
If you’re not sure if you’re going, if you’re not sure it’s actually going to manifest, now you have that impatience. Now you’re checking up on all the details; now you’re worried about it. As you focus on a visualization (you can use any visualization that you want) – you want to go to Paris, so you see yourself going; you get yourself into the feeling of what being in Paris will bring about. Then what you want to do is to look for the “Yea…Buts.” Anything that doesn’t quite feel the way that you want it to feel, that’s your resistance surfacing. That’s you moving into the direction of what you want, and now you can work on changing those elements. For example, “I don’t have enough money… Yes, but what if I did? What if money wasn’t an obstacle? I want it to be easily affordable for me.”
You start changing those elements so that you can actually feel as good about it as you really want to feel, so that you can really achieve that feeling state. Then when things show up, choose to trust the small manifestations. This is how you build trust. You choose to trust the small manifestations. You choose to say that this is valid, that this is part of your manifestation and feels like the thing you want; you recognize it and choose to trust, because there’s not much risk in that, because its small stuff. Choose to trust that it is part of the manifestation that you brought about, and that it manifested in response to what you are doing with your energy.
This is why all the teachers say start small, because it’s so much easier to choose to trust the small stuff than the big stuff. I have to tell you though, as a person who has been living this for a long time, you do get to the place where you trust the BIG stuff too! Trust is not like a switch that you can just flip, you build it up (like a muscle that you exercise), and then it will get stronger and stronger and stronger.
I hope I’ve answered your question. If you think that this content will be beneficial for others, please consider sharing it on social media or forward it to someone you love. If you have something to add to this discussion or an experience to share, please do so by leaving a comment below.
Thank you so much for your questions, this has been this week’s Q &A, and I’ll see you next time.
How to Be in the NOW When You Live in the Real World
Dear LOA: What Does “Acting As If” Mean?
How Can I Feel as if I Have What I Want When I Don’t Have It?
thank you for the easy clear explanation about law of attraction, yes I admit, I myself finding hard to and I am glad I able to clear the pathway through self positive talk, although there were still moments that I doubted some of those so called ‘big stuff’ but I am getting there I believe so, learning from an experience like you, made things easier for the newbie. thank you.
thank you for this great video.
This is so interesting and powerful stuff to learn, and really helped to put things into perspective for me. I’ve been traveling for 4 months now and I’m running out of money. I could go back to my old job and have a secure income, but I want to create that income myself from my own creative talents and interests, which is completely new territory, and I find myself totally lost on how to begin.
I believe after watching this video that I should start small with an amount of money that is familiar to me, and trust that by continuing to do what I do (write my blog, maybe start up a freelance writing business) I will be able to manifest it, and then again and again until I can trust myself setting a higher income goal.
Thank you again!
Trust means surrender to Universe or Existence or God. Surrender leads to mental peace while expectation creates tension as it takes us away from NOW to FUTURE
Thank you a wonderful video! I keep forgetting that we are all in this together and it really takes practice. I’ve only been aware of the LOA for about a year and this was a great reminder that my ability to allow is building up more and more even if I can’t see it on a daily basis. Not beating ourselves up is a such a good reminder. Our Non-physical self is always “holding our hand.” It is so amazing to live by this new perspective and I appreciate your blog and others (Kelli Cooper!). So much. 🙂
What if you have never manifested a parking spot or the “little” things, either?! Haha 🙂 I feel like I have tried for the “big” things and failed, then tried to figure out why I failed, and fell into a cycle of, “gosh, I’m just not good at manifesting anything!” I’m still trying to get out of that one! I try smaller things that I don’t care too much about, like Abraham’s blue glass/feathers experiment, but I never seem to have much luck with that, either. Or if I do eventually come across blue glass or feathers, it will be so far from when I set the intention it doesn’t feel deliberate at all.
Great post, it seems that I should really go through the basics once again, as this was yet another concept I thought I had grasped, but upon reading the post I realized that I had it mostly wrong 🙂 It’s funny how you basically seem to get something on an intellectual level, but emotionally you’re really far away from understanding it…
One thing came to mind: I think the only difference between small things and big things is the distance between our current vibration and the vibration needed to manifest them. So determining how big something is for you tells you right away how far you are from it. Winning the lottery would feel like a big deal now (my favorite subject, I know…) but if I was a multi-millionaire it wasn’t such a big deal anymore. I was stuck in a repeating cycle for a whole year until I was finally able to let it go, and just feel good with no specific expectations whatsoever. I figured that my time is much better spent sorting and releasing all my limiting beliefs concerning money and how to earn it, and I guess the thing we want the most exists only to show us where we have the biggest amount of stuck energy. To move closer to our desires is to move closer to balance, vibrationally.
I just have to comment and show my gratitude and appreciation for you and your blog! I had a major epiphany yesterday after reading “close, but no cigar” and now I’m reading this and it just feels better and better and better. I GET IT!!! I really get it!
Mainly, I just wanted to thank you so much. Yours is my favourite LOA blog. You do such great work. Thank you thank you thank you!
A good way to let go resistance is to resign yourself to total loss and failure.
Holding on in hope is disastrous. Hope has got to be one of the worst concepts ever perpetrated by the church.
Just say ‘fuck it, I’m done. I accept total loss. It’s all gone’. But really mean it.
Wonderful. Expectation blocks flow because expectation creates tension and resistance. No expectation is present minded lovingness of What Is; nope, no tension here. Just non resistance and openness. When you open up, possibilities open up you hadn’t seen when you were goldangg busy expecting and doing and creating all that tension and resistance which blocked the sweetness from flowing in. The size bit is created in Monkey Mind. Give it a banana. Just be here, feel love, breathe deeply and keep on creating for the of it. Thanks Melody.
Hi Ryan – it makes sense what you say, feeling love and be open. I am in love with a man not available, we work together, crossed the line and are back to an emotional affair only. I want to move away, actively looking for another job although I love my job and how wonderful we work together. But I want a relationship with a future, If I close myself off from him emotionally, to protect myself, I start feeling old and bitter and dried up. Classical old joyless spinster. When I open myself and think lovable thoughts and open myself to love, any love and feel the joy of love – my relationship with this man becomes stronger. I see millions of “coincidences”, his name EVERYWHERE (flashing on an airport sign the moment I look up for example, this always happens when I feel sad and then try to change my vibration better or when I already overflow with joy in a day. Always, either very sad or very happy, I see it.) The moment I feel my vibration lift, or on a very good day, he calls or text (it even happened once when I just INTENDED to write a letter to the universe as Melody advises. I had the pen in my hand and paper ready and a text came in from him)- and I enjoy it in the moment, but always the ceiling is there of our relationship that has no future. So feeling good brings more of him and not somebody else or any other attention. Feeling distant and closed off feels bad and not how I want to feel. I want to be open for love. I even created a spirit/imaginary man which is all I want to feel and experience and about whom I fantasize and who gives me great pleasure and comfort. But this also leads to more synchronicities about The Man not available. What to do? To stay open for love from somebody available and close off to love from somebody not available. It seems as if it is not possible to do both at the same time.
Stop thinking of Michael and create a fresh new John.
Be grateful for what Michael brought into your life and send him love then think about John and the traits you want in him and how he makes you feeeel. It will all fall into place.
Go to baggage reclaim website and work out where and why you attract unavailable.
Hi Sweetish Sugar, Does it mean thinking of Michael will always bring back Michael? I have the same story sans any discomfort about not having a future. My idea of this “relationship” is we are happy together like platonic friends. I like his company and he likes mine. So just wondering!!
Thank you for answering me! 🙂
Thank you so much for the great post! As for me, I’ve been wanting to manifest something big after manifesting small stuffs..But I have a question!
I’m often afraid if I miss out on opportunities if I make a mistake or don’t take action because of fear..So I start beating myself up afterwards. After making not good judgments at that moment, I can’t help getting upset at myself. For example, I want a great relationship..so I think to myself that I could’ve met a guy that I like if I had done that or been there..When I try to manifest big things, I worry about missed opportunities. I think I became more like that after knowing the law of attraction..What do you think of missed opportunities?
This article may help: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2014/07/17/is-it-possible-to-miss-the-boat-have-i-run-out-of-chances-to-be-happy
More-over is maybe you are…because what if you are
the environment , meaning your thoughts may have
something to do with it, but we do not understand like
our awesome puppies !Now I feel like I am writing under
The need to grow into your own environment has been
already initialized by your uppers, but, this will be hard
for you to swallow. meaning you are not ready !
I am reading your book, now, it is beautiful. Pls. tell me why you
are a master ! Idea means experienced ! So, do I get the challenge
to speak about changing how we as a species are making our own
expectations !It is like growing a seed and seeing what is going to
happen next. In our environment today it is like saying it is going to
happen,but some things changes. What, control happens… because
we do not control the nature ! So-to-speak…
Big stuff only comes in the way you are feeling about comfortably being you !
This means you are master of your own illusions. You. What else is there to be
afraid of, tomorrow is only anticipation ! Me I listen to you and I am loving it !
I think this is an awesome post ! Things are coming & going but, trusting they are
going to happen is an absolute. I know I have been going down the rabbit hole too
much lately,but,that`s only is in my nature. I only want to show you what you all are all
capable of…things flowing in there own path of anticipation.Listen to our puppies for they are telling us a story of there own nature ! Why not listen to them…
Great post Melody.
What you have said is so enlightening and true so true. I know from experience that we sometimes get in the rut of trying to manifest something but fail because we look at the “Yea…Buts.” so much.
I believe the phrase, how do you eat an elephant, one piece at a time is the way to go to start practicing manifesting the big stuff.
Melody, what do you recommend to do when negative ideas/thoughts come to mind regarding something you are trying to manifest big or small?
Hi Melody. I am wondering if the universe gives us little “tests” to pass to meaure our progress. If I understand right then when we are no longer a match to something then those experiences are not supposed to appear in our reality anymore. (Like you said you dont manifest douches anymore because they have no effect on you anymore.) For example I being insanely jealous. I do some work on it and then not getting jealous anymore. Then the same situations appear that would have caused blind jealousy in the past – but now the situation is still there without the jealousy. (for example a woman hitting on my man and he seems flattered – so i worked on why I felt threatened.) Now I dont get jealous anymore but women still keep hitting on him. Now I wonder why I still manifest the situation and notice it at all – but just notice that I dont care anymore. I am still sure I love him though. But does it mean the negative jealous feeling has been pushed into hybernation to only one day choose an immensely amplified way to jump out again? Since the same situations still manifest sance the emotion.
This post is really helpful Melody, and reading all readers comments is the icing on the cake, it’s enough to reinforce my understanding of it. I do believe that my biggest ambitions will materialize, and they are freaking big, but small things first, build trust up like a muscle like you say, visualise one aspect at a time. It worked this week, for instance, I was convinced i’d scraped my car, in a small spaced multystorey car park. It didn’t sound good, i’d definitely scraped it trying to manuevere out. On the way home I got into the feeling and visualizing as much as I could of seeing no car damage, and hey presto! No scrape in sight. Phew!
It’s the small everyday things and short term goals, to focus on, to build trust in before the bigger manifestations, like having debts payed off, my husband and children not bugging me, getting myself new techi items. Getting into the feeling of things, then can move onto having my own house and independance, then more bigger ambitions.
Can you still manifest things you want if you feel depressed sometimes? A lot of the time I’m feeling generally good or neutral, but there are still times when I feel depressed or hopeless. Is it still possible to manifest what I really, really desire even though I feel intense negative emotion at time to time? It seems like you and other excellent manifestors don’t feel intense negative emotion anymore. I worry because I’m still not that great at monitoring how I feel and shifting my focus. I’m afraid the things I want most will be impossible to manifest because I still experience depression and despair.
Of course I still feel negative emotion! When I level up and the difference between where I am and where I’m going becomes too great, I feel intense negative emotion. I no longer freak out about it, since I know what’s going on, but I do feel it. I surrender to it and it passes.
So yes, you can manifest what you want even if you still have negative emotion. Because negative emotion is nothing more than a messenger, and that mechanism will always be there. Like your pain receptors. You don’t want your ability to feel pain to go away right? And if you touch something hot or sharp, you want to know that you’re doing that right? All that happens is that you begin to notice the discomfort sooner, so you don’t have to burn yourself horribly before you figure it out. But you still have the ability to feel and as you go out into new territory, sometimes you’re going to get near hot or sharp things. Don’t be afraid of that. 🙂
Thanks for sharing that, Melody. I feel so much better than I used to feel, but I also keenly feel the “swings” now, even though they aren’t as low. Does that make sense? Like now, feeling kinda-grumpy and like people are jerks feels REALLY BAD – even though once that would have been a good day, basically. Heh… I am still in a phase where I don’t fully trust my emotions to sort themselves out in a progression. You recently posted about anger, and I commented about having trouble figuring out how to be angry with someone I love (in private, I don’t play the “let me be angry at you in person” game much these days) – lo and behold, so much anger has spontaneously erupted in me this past week. I still feel fear of my own negative emotions, or I guess fear that if I let them happen, I’ll get stuck in them? I’m working on trusting them and not hanging onto them, but it’s a new skill.
Thank you for your reply Melody. I was confused for a while thinking I’m doing everything wrong. I do hope I’m on the right path! I have my doubts, but after reviewing everything I’ve manifested in the past five years, before I knew about manifesting…it’s clear that you don’t have to know any of this to get what you want. And it feels better to just accept the highs and lows as a normal part of life.
I have another question for you or anyone else to answer: where do you draw the line between taking responsibility/making things happen and allowing/just feeling good? Between taking action to change a situation and get your desired results and not actively doing anything to change, just relaxing into your circumstances? Example: if you would like to move, but the process of moving and figuring out the details overwhelms you. Where do you draw the lien between research, planning, saving money and allowing the Universe to help you out and fill in the details? I hope this question makes sense!
GREAT question S! I am wondering the same thing. I wrote to Melody about something similar (planning and having a back-up plan, and if that negatively affects manifestation). Maybe someone can shed some light?
Ive witnessed first hand two very depressed people win a substantial amount of money. Its made me a believer that contrast can help catapult us to where we want.
I hope to see your signature on some great art in the near future
Thank you for this. The analogy about Paris is crystal-clear. And I love the follow-up question: “Yes, but what if I did?” Implementing this practice immediately. With gratitude!
I agree it’s all about trust. I’ve been getting better at that lately. Looking back even over the toughest times, I can see the Universe has always supported me. It was just my own perception that there was any lack. So now I just say, “Okay I trust everything will work out.”
So do I. I had the same realization. There is nothing to fear. It’s all done and always in the process of being done.
This was a really great answer to his question. I so agree with everything you said, particularly about it being a process and not something that may just happen immediately. I always like to stress to people not to dismiss those smaller manifestations because they represent something so huge…your energy changing and you aligning more with the reality you prefer. That certainly does help build that trust as your mind is getting some ‘proof’ that there is something to this and anything we can do to appease our mind will serve us well in manifesting!
So love your wisdom, energy, and graciousness. Thank you for sharing your enlightenment! It was exactly what I needed.
I was just thinking about this exact subject yesterday! Thanks Melody. 🙂
Awesome video Melody! What a simple yet powerful concept; trust instead of expect. Love it.
By the way, your hair looks SO good!
Thanks for posting, Melody, this is a great reminder! When I’m having trouble with “big” manifestations I remind myself of all the amazing things that have happened to me in the past 15, 10, 5, even 3 years. Things I would have never dreamed of–getting a second master’s, owning a home, having a very serious relationship (and being totally fine when it ended), making the money I do now, getting my black belt in taekwondo. All of those are “big” things that I pursued and attained fairly easily because I believed that it would happen, and my want rather than my need drove me. So who knows what will happen in the next 5 years, or even in the next 6 months! It’s always been a pleasant surprise, at least when I do what you are suggesting: TRUST that it will happen.
Very motivating post. This made my Friday. 🙂
I love changing expectation to trust. I get confused a lot on the whole goal setting/expectation thing. I hear a lot about how you should set goals and yada, yada. Yeah I’ve done that and then when I don’t reach them in time, I get discouraged. I stopped setting goals (even though I hear left and right that you should have SPECIFIC goals). I still plan and prep and do my best to get into the feeling of what I want. I try really hard to be patient and wait until I’m INSPIRED to act, but for me putting a time limit on things puts a lot of pressure on me and sets me up for disappointment. But the word expectation is definitely an ugly one for me and I’ve been trying to come up with a way to soften that for myself. I will be using trust from now on. Thank you Melody! 😀
Thanks for sharing,
still looking for a good example for the law of attraction. Parking spots, trips to Paris, etc. are not really my topics. I’d love to hear how to use the law of attraction for “BIG” long-term goals like learning an instrument (guitar, piano), learning an art, a language, and so on. That’s what most people get easily frustrated with.
All the best.
Same with me…these types of issues pose bigger difficulty, especially when there are obviously lots of action involved.
That’s a great topic for a future video. Thanks Mario! I’ve marked it down.
I so enjoyed listening to the youtube above. I have read your book and loved it. I have recommend it to lots of peeps. And the law of trust is a progression.
But I want to share how when I feel joy I start to manifest my desires. I know that the universe has a plan for me. Being a fitness trainer with a schedule I have started to experience people canceling on me more than ever before. I might ad that this has been my bread and butter for the last 21 years. However, while scary as it may get cause when a client cancels I don’t get paid. I am also able to get myself into joy and the feeling of where I ultimately want to be faster and quicker. As a result money is literally blowing into my personal space. This just happened on Monday of this week, i was walking and I saw a $20 bill blow by me as I ran to catch it another bill blew by that was a $5. And of course I caught that too. The universe was speaking loud and clear that my back is covered!! What an awesome feeling to feel and trust in what the universe has in store for me. I also want to share that 2 weeks ago I was getting off the elevator in my building and there was a $10 bill just waiting. Now while my big dream is to be a multi-millionaire this is definitely an indication that my dreams will manifest. BIG!!!! It’s not like I’m finding pennies and dimes its bills. Ha! All I can say is that I have been a work in progress for years with personal growth and LOA. It takes time and practice every single day which is what I am committed to doing and have been for years. Everything that has been in my “VORTEX” over the decades of my life has been manifested. Now I want my GOLDEN years to truly be GOLDEN!
And guess what? I feel and instinctively know that they will.
Its mentors and gurus like you Melody that I love and follow religiously.
I thank you for vibrating your energy through books and you tubes into my life!
Thank You Melody for clearing this up for me. I have been trying to manifest a job for months now. To be honest I really want to work for myself. So I have to trust the universe to provide a way for me to work for myself and earn a great income while doing it it. So now I can start small and still work my way into the big stuff which is not really big. To be honest I really want to work from myself. So I have to trust the universe to provide a way for me to work for myself and earn a great income. So now I can start small and still work my way into the big stuff which is not really big. I got an offer to refer business to a real estate investment company to be able to help with acquisitions and it’s a start up company and I’ve been really trying to figure out how to get off market listings to this guy. Now I know I can do things a little bit every day to make this happen. I am also currently doing mystery shopping for property management company and I’m beginning to make a little bit of income and I get to work from home. So honestly I want to work independently as a real estate agent and be able to have other streams of income as well so I have to figure out my plans in manifesting that do you have any tips on doing that?
Thanks Melody. Good points.
Just wondering about coaching call no. 177 mentioned higher up on this page. Was the option to cure her son of autism using LoA suggested as a possibility? Surely that would be the most direct path in resolving her problems?
No, this option did not come up in this call. You have to remember that only that which applies to this person’s situation at this particular time comes up. While autism can be cured, people have to be ready for that. Otherwise, that statement is just annoying and at worst, insulting to them. We always work with wherever someone is…
Also, I wasn’t talking to her son and this call really isn’t about him, it’s about her and easing her struggles. Curing him was not on that path at this time. Hope that explains it. 🙂