It’s that time of the year! You get together with your family, you eat wonderful food, you unwrap the presents, and you try your best not to punch anyone in the face. Yep! These are the people you love the most, but they also have the ability to drive you nuts in a way that no one else can. Can you survive the holidays and (gasp!) possibly even enjoy them? Well of course you can. Watch today’s video to get my advice.



Hello My Puppies! In today’s video I’d like to discuss “How To Survive Your Family Over The Holidays!” Yes, it’s that season; Happy Holidays to everybody, whether you’re celebrating or not!

Generally at the end of the year we tend to get together with our loved ones, our family and friends. And it can be a wonderful thing, but it can also be the worst time of the year, because these are the people that drive us absolutely up the wall, and they push our buttons the way that nobody else can. How do you go about surviving that season and how do you enjoy it?

Here’s my tip from a Law of Attraction perspective

First of all, do a little bit of pre-paving.  Do not assume that when you go home you are going to have a horrible time and be thinking, “OMG, I’m going to see that Aunt again; and I hate her; and I know she’s going to ask me that question – why I’m no married yet, and blah, blah, blah…”.

Don’t worry about that! You are there to show up, be who you really are, feel the way that you feel and talk about whatever you want to talk about.  Go ahead and play some of the scenarios in your head that you are afraid of, and have some good comebacks so that you can feel a little bit better going into it.  Get yourself into a good feeling space before you go, and if you can, the beautiful thing to be able to do would be to get yourself into a loving space about everybody in your family.  I know this will not be possible for everyone, and I can hear you all scoffing right now; yes I do know what I just said!!

The next thing to remember is that your family, when they push your buttons, when they trigger you, when they say something that feels like you’ve just got punched in the gut and you want to rip somebody’s face off, in that moment they’ve mirrored back some of your own resistance to you.  Remember, you are in a hologram and everything is just mirroring back your vibration.  When they trigger you, the way that you feel – that’s your shit! You have to take care of that.  The reason that they did that, that’s their shit and they have to take care of that.  You don’t need to worry about that, you are not there for them; you are there for you.

How your family can help in raising your vibration

The holidays or anytime the family get together is a wonderful time to do a vibrational check-up, because your family is going to show you where you’re still at, what’s still bothering you, and what you’re still holding onto.  The time to work on that is not when Aunt Mabel says some passive aggressive thing at the dinner table, and you just want to rip her face off; so you do!  That’s a destructive anger release, but you also don’t just want to sit there and bite your tongue the entire time because you want to keep the peace.  That is harming to you and that is going to lead to some kind of Aneurysm, so don’t do that.

What you want to do is to put a pin in it and as soon as you can, remove yourself from the situation, go off by yourself somewhere, for example when you go to bed at night, then think about what this person said to you and why it bothered you.  What is it that really bothers you about that? Because if you didn’t care about what they said, it would not have bothered you at all.

If somebody came up to you in the street and said, “I hate your purple hair”, and your hair is not purple, you would think that person is crazy and you wouldn’t take it personally.  But if your friend came up to you and said, “OMG, you look fat in that dress!”, you might have a really different reaction.  If you are insecure about your weight, or your looks, or what people think about you, that is going to get triggered by that response.  Anytime somebody comes up to you and triggers you, that’s an opportunity for you to release something.  There is no better time to do that than the holidays.  This is what you have been preparing for all year, this is what you have been shifting your energy for, to go in there and see what else is left.  This is like going to the Olympic Games or the World Cup!

Consider this and prepare yourself before you go and don’t take it too personally; don’t beat up on yourself if you experience negative emotion.  Remember negative emotion is nothing but a messenger.

Bottom Line

I hope I’ve given you some really good tips and a good game plan.  Consider maybe, once you get home from the holidays, going on a vacation.  Also consider that if you are anticipating it being really negative, you don’t have to spend time with your family at all over the holidays; you get to do whatever you want.  If going to the Bahamas by yourself or with your boyfriend or husband feels better than going home for the holidays, then do that.  You have my full permission!

Again, I hope I’ve given you a good game plan. Please consider sharing this video with your peeps on social media, or anybody who you think might need some help surviving the holidays this year, and if you want to share a comment or add to the discussion please do so below.

I wish you all the best and I will see you next week!


Additional Resources

What to Do if Your Family Makes You Feel Powerless

Surviving Your Family’s Religious Traditions Over the Holidays

An LOA Survival Guide to Thanksgiving and Other Holiday Minefields

A Spiritual Survival Guide to Thanksgiving and Other Potentially Horrific Family Gatherings

How to Feel Powerful When You Don’t

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  • I love the purple hair analogy! That really resonated with me and is a way I could view anyone being rude, passive aggressive, hostile, etc. to me–rather than start to get down on myself and believe the negative crap being reflected back to me I can just think,
    “What are they getting all bent out of shape about? LOL, I’m awesome!”

  • I also wanted to ask, is it ok to take a break from doing deliberate work if it feels overwhelming or stressful? I’m afraid if I do, I won’t get what I want. Or I won’t be able to clear enough resistance to manifest certain things until years in the future.

    • Hey S,

      If it feels better to take a break, then you ARE doing it, and are moving closer to what you want. You’ll just be taking a break from trying so hard, which is always a good idea. 🙂

      Hope that helps!


  • Dear Melody,

    Thank you for this great advice for the holidays. And I loved your call with Jeannette too! It was really insightful. 🙂

    I’m not sure if I should ask here or in “submit a question for a blog post”, but how do you get over a dream that isn’t going to happen? There are strict physical standards for some things, very definite age limits and body shape, having to have been preparing from a very young age. Some may say, “why not be the first/only to be the exception”? Let’s get real though, for most of us, it isn’t going to happen. The path of least resistance would be more along the lines of accepting that we won’t get this desire instead of it happening. How do we reconcile with wanting something that factors beyond our control (and our own beliefs) prevent us from being, having or doing? I just want to know how to let go of certain desires and an impossible dream that realistically (I know you probably hate that word, sorry!) is not going to happen. I just want to be able to accept and be at peace with it.

    I hope I don’t sound too negative for this blog. I would love to hear your’s and others’ perspectives!

    • Dear S, you want to remember that what you want is most often not what you think it is. I can hear you think “but yes, I’ve wanted this since I was a kid, dammit!” Well, it’s all about the feeling. What you want is a feeling. And now you have stubbornly decided that the only way you can attain that feeling is to accomplish this dream of yours. Want a secret? It’s not the only way. The universe has an infinite amount of ways to bring you what you want, and it is not your job to decide in which way or to try and figure out how it will come about. It is fine that you have this dream; of course you should dream! And whether or not your dream will be fulfilled is not decided by how you look! But clearly that’s a belief of yours, and so you have som resistance there that you may want to take a look at.
      What you need to do is realize that you are after a feeling. Find a way to get into that feeling. Focus on something that make you feel good. When you are aligned, the universe will bring you something that is a match. Usually it’s even more awesome than we imagined in the first place. Wouldn’t that be great?
      Hope that clears it up a little for you, S!
      Hugs, Sonja

  • Hi I was wondering if anyone here could help me as there’s no message board.
    There are things I’ve been wanting for yearsv(most of my life) but have continued to allude me. I can’t imagine going on living without having/being them. I take the daily actions Im inspired to from where I am, but there are still bigger ones that I should probably should take that overwhelm me. I worry that I will never get what I want because I will never be aligned with it in this lifetime. Since I learned law of attraction I have felt worse than I ever have and have been unhappier than i ever have been. It feels awful to place all the responsibility for things not manifesting on myself. I hate myself for it. I just want to get what I want. I just want my manifestations to come through. I’m just afraid they never will and I’ll be stuck forever. It’s been years and I don’t want to go on living anymore without these manifestations. I hate knowing that it’s all me that’s keeping myself from what I want…when I think about this I just want to obliterate myself. I don’t know what to do anymore and feel completely hopeless.

    • Hi CJ,
      The latest coaching call is about blocking supressed emotions. Have a listen. The great thing about Melody’s coaching calls is that you can also feel and benefit from the energy even though it’s not your own personal call.
      Hope that helps,

      • Thanks Catherine, that’s what I was referring to, actually. I’m pretty sure it’s a paid recording, which is fine. But it’s mostly about their specific relationship which isn’t so much my interest. If it’s in the book I’d rather buy the book.

        • Hey CJ,

          You should definitely buy the book too! It really does make freakin’ sense. When I read it I got a lot of aha! moments and I read the blog religiously so there is definitely content in there that will resonate.

          As for the suppressed emotions, have you tired sitting with the issue and seeing what feelings come up? Then keep following your way through all the feelings until something clicks. Melody helped me work through my suppressed emotions and one of the things I took away from it was that it wasn’t just a one time release for me. I had YEARS of powerlessness that I had to release and I just kept getting triggered, but the issues became smaller and smaller each time. That’s how you know you’re working through it.

    • Hey CJ,

      Yes, it does. In fact, I spend an enormous amount of time on emotions, what they are, what they mean and how to use them to shift energy. It’s the main point of the book. 🙂



  • This is great. I have a lot of work to do with my in-laws, whom we’ll be seeing over Christmas. I’ve definitely made a lot of progress over the years, but it’s still hasn’t been an enjoyable experience. So I’m taking this to heart.

    The pre-paving is so important. I had a bit of experience with that over Thanksgiving. We had one celebration with my father-in-law, and one with my mother-in-law. The first went fine, because I did a lot of preparation beforehand to pre-pave a good experience. But the second was pretty awful, because at the time, I just couldn’t find a way to feel better about it. So hopefully I’ve learned from that experience and can be more prepared this time.

  • Thanks so much dearest Melody!

    You are seriously (in my opinion) worth more than a hundred of Hay House authors put together 🙂

    How timely! Just had a massive row with my mother. I can never seem to stabilize my vibration high enough before she pushes my buttons…..

    Now I’ll write down the questions you’ve mentioned: What is it that she is mirroring back to me? What am I still holding onto? What is the root cause of my passive-aggressive reactions to her? (I thought it was lack of trust that I’m not getting what I want – and I have been working on trusting more, so it may be something else.)

    I’ll put the paper away and sooner or later I know the answers will come to me.

    [Thank you Universe for manifesting awesome Melody in my life!]

    Happy Holidays and Huge Shiny Hugs to you, Mel 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Why they did/said it is their shit. How I feel about what they did/said is mine.

    I’ve been prepaving, but I think I’m also going to write that one an index card and keep it in my pocket.

    Happy Holidays, Melody!

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