Is it ok to use the word hate, as in “I hate something”? The Law of Attraction police would have you think NOPE! But I say Yes! Watch today’s video and find out who’s right!
Today, I want to talk to you about the word hate, or any kind of expression of negative emotion. A lot of times when I’m coaching someone, they want to tell me how they’re doing, what is going on in their lives, what it is that they want to fix, or what’s not really working for them. They want to tell me what they want to work on, basically, but when they try to do so, they start to censor themselves, because they’ve read all The Law of Attraction books, and they’ve heard so many Law of Attraction students and teachers say that you shouldn’t express negative emotion, and if you do so (saying you hate this or you don’t like something, or saying something makes you angry), you are focusing on the negative and therefore perpetuating it in your life. Well, I have another word for that: denial.
If you are not aware of how you really feel, if you’re not able to express it, if you’re not able to look at it and get in touch with it, then you can’t shift it. You can only shift that which you are aware of, because it’s often only through the expression of it [your emotion] that you truly become aware of how you feel. If you don’t allow yourself to express it, you often forgo the awareness. Here’s the thing:
Why are we in denial?
You can be in denial because you are asleep, you haven’t awakened yet, and you’re not at all aware of how you feel or even that the feeling is important to you. You have been trained out of that knowledge completely and you go through your life not aware of how unhappy you are. We all know how that feels, because we have all been there or at least we know people who are still there. You can also be in denial because you have awakened to a certain degree, you know that emotions are important, you understand that shifting emotions are important and that you can feel better, and you know you are the creator of your own reality; but you demonize the negative feelings and you don’t allow yourself to express them or fully feel them, and therefore, you cannot shift them. Both of these kinds of denial will do the same kind of damage, because in both case,s you are suppressing how you feel; you are suppressing your negative emotions.
Why we have negative emotion
Remember that negative emotion is a messenger that will deliver its message! If you don’t listen to it, it will manifest in bigger and bigger ways until it’s screaming loud enough, or it’s smacking you in the back of the head with a frying pan, so that you pay attention and you get the point. You then look at it and think, “oh my god, this is too painful!”, and you finally turn the other way; you finally make a change.
It doesn’t have to get that bad before you can make a change. You can feel a little bit of negative emotion and say, “Oh hello friend; let me hear what it is you have to say; give me your message.” It gives you your message and then it goes away! When the messenger has delivered his message, he leaves, because he has done his job, or in the case of emotions, they have done their job.
Now, I can hear you asking, if you say you hate something, are you not perpetuating negative emotion? No you’re not; not necessarily… If you are aware of what you’re doing, meaning you are doing it consciously (that is the real pertinent word here, consciously), then no, you’re not. You will feel a great sense of relief when you finally admit how you truly feel. I cannot tell you how many times, possibly thousands of times, I’ve heard people finally come out with the statement, “Oh my god, I hate my job!”, “Oh my god, I hate my husband!”, and “That thing really pisses me off to no end.” Or they simply say “No! That is not ok!”, when they’ve been trying to tell themselves for years that it is ok.
I have witnessed that over and over again, and I’ve seen the sense of relief that comes with it when people finally let go of the need to negate how they feel. They admit it and there is a flow of energy just from that admission. Only then can you start to shift the energy of it. You start doing that by listening to the emotion, by feeling the emotion, by sitting with it and giving it a moment. Do not negate it or judge it and do not push it away. In fact if you can allow it, you don’t need to do anything else. The energy will shift just by doing that. But if you have resistance to that [the allowing], there’s a whole bunch of intellectual based techniques in my book that you can use.
Using the word “hate” consciously vs. unconsciously
What happens when we use the word hate without consciousness, i.e., from an unconscious point of view? The emotion isn’t being shifted, because the emotion isn’t fully being acknowledged. You see, there is always something behind the hatred; there is always something behind the negative emotion. That’s the message it’s trying to give you. When you are not conscious, you’re not getting that message. So, when you fully understand your own hatred, you’ll understand what’s behind it, which is a fear. When you understand that fear, then you can shift it. When somebody isn’t doing that consciously, then yes they are perpetuating the energy of their resistance, and so it just gets worse and worse, again, until it gets bad enough that we eventually run the other way.
We can witness at lot of that going on in the world right now. There’s a lot of this ricocheting happening at the moment, because there’s a lot of things happening in the world right now that are so abhorrently painful that it’s causing explosions of consciousness to happen. A lot of the time that looks like people finally standing up and saying, “It’s not ok anymore. I was trying to be ok with this, I really was; I was trying to be Zen about it; I was trying to feel better about it; I was pivoting and I was thinking positive thoughts, but goddamit, it is not ok!”
A lot of times awakening looks just like that. If you look around, you can see that happening and it’s a beautiful thing. If you look within yourself, that may also be happening to you as well. That also is a beautiful thing. It’s a process that leads you to empowerment, so just let it happen. If you hate something, say it and say it consciously. If you dislike something, if something is not ok with you, if you have been abusing yourself in some way by holding yourself in a situation that isn’t ok with you, then you have to say so. THEN, dig deeper and find out what it’s really about, because that is how you shift the energy. You get to feel good! It’s just that often times, you have to first acknowledge how bad you’re actually feeling, before you can let the good feelings in.
In the beginning of this video, I said (in a tongue in cheek way) that some teachers say this, and I say that, and who’s right; but of course, no one is right and everyone is right, and it turns out we both are! If you are doing it from an unconscious point of view, then saying I hate something doesn’t really shift anything. And yet, telling that person that they shouldn’t say “I hate”, isn’t going to do any good as they won’t be able to hear you or understand what the hell you’re talking about. If you are doing it from a conscious point of view, then the words you are saying don’t matter. It’s the energy behind them that matters. If you are expressing something, if you are expressing your truth, then use whatever words you want to, because you are on your way to shifting to a better feeling truth. You can only do that if you are completely and totally aware of where you are and how you are feeling.
I hope I have once and for all cleared up the confusion around this topic and given you permission to use whatever words you want to, so that you can express your truth on the way to becoming more empowered.
If you have a question that you’d like me to answer in a possible video like this, or you’d like to share your own experiences with being censored by the LOA police, please do so below. Thank you for bringing your special light to the world.
Until next week – Bye!