We’d all love to have more abundance; right? More money, more time and more freedom. I mean who would say no to that? But what if your goal of abundance is in conflict with your desire to help someone, or with your obligation to take care of someone else? Is there a way to make that choice, and do you even have to? Watch today’s video to find out!
Today’s LOA question comes from Awesome Thaís, who asks:
“What I’d like to clarify, is the subject of feeling responsible for other peoples’ financial well-being. For example, I’m only 24 years old, but I feel very deeply responsible for supporting my mom, especially since I got an education and now earn more than she does. I live with her and she doesn’t seem to care much about improving her own finances, not like I do. I think this question may also apply to people who have children. So, how can I reach for my financial freedom without being selfish and depriving her of a better life? I realise this has a limiting belief underneath, of course, but I’d like to balance my strong desire to be wealthy for myself and my fear of being selfish, ungrateful and to hurt a person so important as my mom, as I understand that working towards wealth involves some sacrifice.”
Well Awesome Thaís, yes, there are some limiting beliefs in here; so let’s take a look at some of those. First of all, why do you accept that working towards wealth involves sacrifices, particularly in the way that you mean “sacrifice”? Maybe you think you will have to Ramen Noodle it for a few years, or you will have to live with your mom for a few years in order for you to get your wealth up. Those are limiting beliefs. What makes you think the Universe doesn’t have some other path you can take to make those things happen, or to allow those things to happen, which is a much more accurate way of putting it.
You are not obligated to take care of anyone
Another belief in there, is that it’s your obligation now to take care of your mother. It’s not. It might be your desire to take care of her, but it’s not your obligation. An obligation, for example, is if somebody is putting a gun to your head and they are forcing you to do something. If they’ve chained you to a radiator, then maybe you can call that an obligation, something you have to do or they will put a bullet in your brain! Most of the time when people say that they have to do something, it has that heaviness about it and that kind of energy about it; when in fact it’s not something they have to do, it is something that they want to do, or think they have to do for some reason. It’s usually a means to an end. It’s not even something they want to do; it’s something that they think will bring about something that they want.
In your case, your desire is for your mother to be financial abundant and for her to have an easy life. Well, I have some really tough love news for you here: That’s not up to you.
You can’t manifest in someone else’s reality
You cannot manifest in your mother’s reality; no one can. You said in your question that she doesn’t seem all that interested in her financial well-being, so who are you to come in and say that she should be? Who are you to come in and say that she is living her life wrong, and who are you to say, if only she could focus differently and get some more money, then she’d be better off? I know you don’t think you’re doing that; but you are. You are also interjecting something else here by saying because she isn’t willing or able to do that [become financially better off], then you have to do it for her, which is now making yourself responsible for her well-being in the narrowly defined way in which you have decided to look at it. All that is ever going to do is breed resentment, because it isn’t going to work. You’re not going to make her financially better off than she can manifest with her vibration, and when you inevitably fail to do something that she can’t attract, when you inevitably fail to defy her vibration, so to speak, you are going to resent her. What really went “wrong” here is that you made yourself responsible for bringing about the outcome in her life that you decided was the “right one”.
And yes, you are absolutely right, this totally applies to parents too. We so often do this with people we care so deeply about, when we decide on the goal that they should go for. We try to drag them there kicking and screaming and it never ever, EVER freaking works.
Here’s what you want to do instead
1) Understand that your financial freedom, your wealth, is not going to come to you at the expense of your mother’s. Why the hell would it? Why would the Universe set it up like that? Why would YOU set it up like that? Why would you choose that? I would say, make a different decision. Let them be independent of each other, which doesn’t mean you have to get rid of your desire for your mother to have a good life.
2) Let that desire unfold in the way that she can handle and in the way that matches what she wants; in the way that matches what she believes she can have. How do you do that? You do that by allowing yourself to imagine your mother having a life that allows you to feel good, knowing full well that what you are doing in that moment is lining yourself up with a version of your mother that feels good to you. And then, let that look however that’s going to look for her. Visualize that in any way you want to, in whatever way looks good; in whatever way feels good to you. Then, divorce yourself from how that actually has to look, because who cares, so long as she is really happy.
Instead of you saying that you see her as financially well off and therefore happy, just see her as happy. Just see her as light and worry free. See her as secure and abundant, which is so much more than money. Take that middle man out and trust her to find her way there. When you line up with that outcome and you feel how good that feels in your heart, then you have lined up with the energy of who she really is. Trust that she is being guided there but also honor her path. Don’t just get in there and say the path she is walking is obviously wrong or tell her she’s not very good at this, which is condescending and arrogant. Honor the path that she is on.
Trust that the path will unfold perfectly
This goes the same for parents too. Honor the path that your children are on; trust them. And NO, this is not going to be easy; because when you really care about somebody and you’ve made yourself responsible for their well-being, then stepping into this different mindset will feel better; but it’s not easy. You have to be a little bit vigilant that you don’t constantly fall back into old habits – at least in the beginning anyway. After that, go ahead and focus on your own wealth, on what feels good to you, and again trust that it will unfold in the perfect way for you. All you have to do then is follow the path that opens up for you. Trust the path that opens up for you.
Here’s the thing: If you are on a really good path, a good feeling path because you’ve hooked up with a really good feeling goal (remember the goal and the path must feel the same; they always feel the same), then how in the hell is this really good feeling path going to involve you screwing your mother over?? Does that feel good to you – screwing your mother over? No it doesn’t! So why would that be part of the good feeling path? That doesn’t make any sense!
Once you understand energy, you understand that the good feeling path, the truly lights-your-heart-up feeling path, is never going to involve you stomping over bodies of any kind. That’s why you don’t have to be afraid of your own power; that’s why you don’t have to be afraid of your own light. That’s why you don’t have to be afraid of truly moving towards what you want in this aligned, aware way that I teach. You are never, ever, EVER going to do any harm. You’re not. Why? Because doing harm doesn’t feel good to you and therefore cannot be part of a really good feeling path.
I know I gave you 3 times as much as you asked for in your email, but I gave you exactly how much you asked for with your energy! I hope that all made sense!
If you would like to ask a question of your own, or if you’d like to share your own story of obligation vs. your own well-being, then please leave a comment below.
I will see you guys next week. Bye!