You may have heard me talk about the rising global vibration – that the energy is getting faster and faster, higher and higher, and is therefore bringing up more and more crap for us to deal with. In fact, 2017 has challenged us to clean up our energy like no other year before it (*individual results may vary…). But why? Why is the energy rising? Why is every generation born into a higher vibrational field than the last?

If you’re the kind of person who begins salivating at the idea of getting into the nitty gritty and loves to understand the intricate workings of things, then well, strap in, because we’re going down the rabbit hole. Possibly further than we’ve ever gone before. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Ha.


Today, I have a wonderful, way down the rabbit hole question to answer. Actually, it didn’t sound so way down the rabbit hole when I went to answer it, I found that it really kind of is. So, here we go!

Moving from the 3rd dimension to the 5th dimension

You’ve heard me talk about how we’re moving from the 3rd dimension to the 5th dimension, how we’re raising our vibration, and how the energy is getting faster and faster. The question I received about this was: “Why? Why is the energy getting faster? Why is it lighter now than it was generations ago?”

At first, this seemed a pretty easy question to answer, but when I really got into the nitty-gritty of it, it turned out, it’s not so easy to answer after all. Which is why we have to go way down the rabbit hole.

If you don’t enjoy these types of questions because they don’t make that much sense to you, don’t worry about it. Today’s post might not make a whole lot of sense to you either. But if you do like this “way down the rabbit hole” stuff, then you’re going to enjoy this.

So, if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t really enjoy the down the rabbit hole stuff that much, and this kind of thing doesn’t make that much sense to you, then don’t worry about it. This video may not make a lot of sense either. But if you’re one of the people who is like “Yay! Rabbit hole!”, then this one’s for you.

Alright, here we go!

Why is the energy always expanding through time?

I’ve talked about time before here, but before we go any further, let me reiterate that time is just an illusion; it doesn’t really exist. There really isn’t this linear progression through time, and time is not a static thing. In other words, an hour is not equal to an hour; it can be much longer, or it can be much shorter. It can be a minute, a second, or a nanosecond; these are not static measurements of time. We think they are, but they’re not. So, when we’re talking about the passage of time, i.e. from the past to the future, it’s actually just a different way of talking about the evolution from a denser energy into a not so dense energy, or, in other words, into a lighter energy. When we think about the past (which is just a label), what we’re really talking about is a time (or an energy state) that is denser. And when we’re talking about the future, or something being forward in time from another point in time, what we’re really talking about is an energy state that is not as dense, or lighter. When we talk about energy, i.e. physical energy, it generally has a frequency that swings faster, because it is moving faster. It has a higher frequency.

I’m using these physical physics terms to talk about this stuff, because we’re doing our best here to try and make sense of something that is so complicated and so complex, that it can be very difficult at times to wrap our brains around, even conceptually.  And so, we do our best with the information we have, the things we’ve discovered, and the understanding we currently have. When we talk about something moving faster, as I mentioned earlier, we’re talking about it being in a higher frequency.

You’re still with me right? – Good.

I’m about to use a very imperfect physical metaphor to explain this. It’s imperfect, not because it’s not based on physics (it is), but because we’re trying to explain something non-physical using physical physics. It isn’t these are two different kind of physics; it’s just that our understanding of physical physics is not quite there yet.

This should give you a decent idea, however, it’s not a perfect metaphor. So, quantum physicists, don’t jump on me for this one.

An example of physical expansion

If you think about an ice cube, you’ll see that its very dense, very solid, and the molecules are really smooshed together, which means there’s hardly any movement going on. There’s not much space between them. The molecules are almost static, without much movement; they’re just dense physical energy. However, if you melt the ice cube, it becomes water; now there’s more space between the molecules and they can move faster. We’d consider this to be a higher frequency because they’ve expanded; they take up much more room because of the expansion. The next step is to take the water and expand the molecules even further, so it becomes steam. The water becomes steam when you heat it up; it evaporates, and the molecules start to dance faster and faster. There’s much more space between the molecules now as you heat up the water, because of this expansion. Steam is the least dense version out of the three states of, ice, water and steam. Steam will take up the most room, because it’s the most expanded. It has the highest vibration, because the molecules are moving at the greatest speed (again… I know the metaphor’s not perfect). But I think you’re getting the gist – it’s all about the expansion of energy.

Why is each generation more expanded than the last?

So, why does the energy constantly expand from generation to generation through the passage of time? Like I said, it doesn’t really expand through the passage of time; we use the passage of time to talk about energy expanding.  But why is it doing that? Because everything is consciousness, that’s why.

We’re going way down the rabbit hole now, so brace yourselves!


Everything is consciousness, and consciousness is always expanding. The whole Universe is always expanding.  This we’ve kind of gleamed from physics, right? But why is consciousness always expanding?  It’s always expanding because consciousness is always adding unto itself.

Let me explain.

Consciousness, by its very definition, is always striving to become more aware of itself. And, as consciousness becomes more aware of itself, it is adding to itself through that awareness, creating more and more to be aware of.

Think about it this way: If you’re an all powerful, all knowing being, and you want to become more aware of yourself, the very fact that you became aware of something that you were not aware of before, means there is more to become aware of. You can, for example, become aware of the fact that you are aware, and you can become aware of the awareness that you are aware, and so on, and so on, to infinity.

The very act of becoming aware of something, of learning something new, of becoming conscious of something that you were not conscious of before, will add to the whole. It becomes bigger; it expands, it becomes lighter. As we add to our perspective, and as we add to this all the different angles that we see, we will expand.

Remember that fear relies on a limited perspective, while love lives in an expanded perspective. As we move into a more expanded perspective, we are naturally being drawn from fear to love; because fear cannot live in an expanded perspective. It doesn’t make any sense; it relies upon the limitation; it relies on you only seeing one side. It relies on you making limiting assumptions.

Why is this important?

Why is any of this important? Well, it’s not, but if you have trouble accepting the idea that energy is always rising, evolving and getting faster and faster, this explanation might help you to accept it more. Why is it important for you to accept that? Well, if the energy is always expanding and evolving through time, meaning as we move forward in time, as we continue, as we keep raising our vibration, we will always be expanding. Consciousness expanding means, as we move forward in time, things will always get better and better and better and better.

And now, you know the mechanics of why.

I hope you enjoyed this explanation. I know this was kind of a big and twisty one, but I really enjoyed myself.

I’ve got more great stuff coming up for you guys soon. So, until next time, I’m sending you all the happy shiny, smooshy, smooshy puppy hugs that I can. And, I want to thank you for bringing your light to the world. Bye!

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  • Hi Melody,
    Thanks a lot for your latest videos (well, actually for all of them 😊), very interesting! I have a question regarding the shift to a higher dimension. I understood that you get your knowledge about this from “people” in a higher dimension, your guides. As we are in the 3rd dimension, does that mean that there are other “people” in the 1st and 2nd dimension that we are guides to? (And btw, what about the 4th dimension, why do we jump directly to the 5th?). Does these dimensions still exists when we have left them?

    • Thanks for the question; I’ve often wondered this too. In relativistic physics the fourth dimension is time, but I’ve never managed to figure out how that fits with the spiritual / energetic talk of 3d vs. 5d.

      Also, Melody: this is great – and thank you – but isn’t the first half of the message just the second law of thermodynamics (that increase in entropy defines the arrow of time)? Or did I miss something??


      • Hey Aimee,
        You’re spot on with the arrow of time. If you missed something, then so did I. 🙂
        Would’ve made for a much shorter video, I suppose, lol.

        Ok, for the first part of you question: Since you clearly like the nitty gritty… It’s actually not accurate to call it 3rd Dimension and 5th Dimension (only, also it is…) I’m using the colloquial terms here, because this is complex stuff and sometimes we go with what people already know and explain through that lens rather than trying to be too pedantic. But… since you asked.
        It’s actually 3rd DENSITY and 5th DENSITY.

        In physics, there’s length (1D), Height (2D), Depth (3D), Time (4D) and then it gets much more abstract. 5D is Possible worlds.
        As we become less DENSE (pun fully intended), we are moving from the 3rd Density to the 4th Density etc. When we talk about 5D beings (or 6D or beyond), we’re really talking about densities.

        HOWEVER… we are also moving to the 5th Dimension (and this is why I continue to use those words). But we’re not really “moving”. We’re expanding our awareness of the different dimensions. If you read through the definitions of the different dimensions (physicists have defined 10) you’ll see each dimension or “plane” represents a greater number of possibilities, with the 10th Dimension being infinite possibilities. As we expand our awareness of these different dimensions or possibilities, we are more able to perceive them (not just in theory…).

        Of course, physics is doing its best to describe and define something from a 3D perspective (both density and dimension), so you have to allow some flexibility in definition.

        That’s my take on it anyway…


    • Hey Jenny,

      The 5th dimension isn’t a place. It’s an expanded perspective. You’re able to perceive more. It’s like the difference between a 2D picture and a 3D picture. A square vs. a cube. You see more, you get more information, and it changes the experience. So, a tree is still a tree, but you see more of the tree. You perceive the energy of the tree. You perceive its consciousness, and even its personality.
      When we connect to guides or our higher self (ultimately, it’s all the same), we’re really just connecting to the greater part of ourselves. The soul, if you will. And could your soul be a guide to others? Yes! As it can be a guide to you. It’s like a soup of knowledge and wisdom you can tap into. And a “past” self of yours could tap into your “current” wisdom, for example, just as you can tap into the wisdom gained by your parallel (“past” and “future”) lives. Everyone is hear for everyone. But you wouldn’t be aware of it, because you, the human you, doesn’t have to show up for that.

      Does that make sense?

      • Wow, yes awesome answer 😊 it makes sense, but at the same time I need some time to digest it. It’s just all very interesting, but also to think that everything happens at once, like my present, past and future self is all now, at the same time, is a lot to take in for the human me 😊 Don’t know if I ever will. I still can’t take in Einstein’s relativity theory, understand the words yes, but the logic in me can’t get around how twins can age differently, even with super pedagogic YouTube videos. But it is also fun to discover more and more about the universe and have these things to ponder about.

  • Awesome description of a very abstract/conceptual idea Melody – I can feel the rusty cogs in the dusty corners of my brain clunking into action!

    When listening to you I started visualising the universe as an oil refinery (stick with me here – my background is energy and environment, the ‘other’ type of energy!), with all of the heavy, sticky bitumen at the bottom of the tank and all of the light gaslone at the top.

    And if the tank is the universe and all that ever was and ever will be – it depends what we are focused on as to which ‘type’ of refined oil we’ll see. If I’m an aeronotical engineer I might be focused soley on Kerosene, which is in the middle somewhere. However one day I might have a realisation that I don’t have to be an aeronotical engineer and I want to build cars instead, and so I start learning how to shift my focus to the lighter fuel of gasoline and how that’s made. It might take a while to figure it out, and I might learn a few unexpected lessons along the way, but I know that gasline feels ‘better/lighter’ than kerosene so I focus on moving towards ‘future’ me and my car building skills.

    Another version of my higher self was ship builder in the early 1900s, so that version is focused soley on heavy fuel oil. For that version of me, planes and cars haven’t even been invented yet so there is no way my focus is going to be able to shift up to gasoline.

    But it’s all me and it’s all the universe and there is no time…just different densities of fuel/energy and different aspects of my higher self focused on different things. And though all the contrast and learning, I may be creating a whole new, even lighter fuel that another version of me is then focused on and it goes on and on…

    Messy analogy but I hope my brain has grappled at least some of this 🙂

  • This totally makes sense! I love the woo-woo rabbit hole dives. Makes my brain feel in sync somehow. Thanks for the lesson and things to ponder, Melody. <3

  • Melody, this is the clearest explanation of what is happening that I have read. Wow, thank you! I guess the only thing I have to ask is: What do we do now?….just surrender and hold on to our butts while chanting, “I am safe, I am safe” ?

    • Ahahahahaha! Yeah, that wouldn’t be a bad idea.
      But also, and this will become more and more relevant – do your best to have fun. Reach for fun. Ask yourself what you truly want – which will become more and more about moving towards awesomeness and less and less about moving away from something unwanted. That’s the next step. 🙂


  • Hi Melody, if there is no time, how can there be any evolution? how can the energy/consciousness be expanding? Surely if there is no time, then everything that has ever been or ever could be is happening right now. So consciousness may appear to be expanding from our limited perspective, but in actual fact, consciousness just is, and consciousness is infinite.

    • Hey Sarah,
      Try substituting consciousness with “awareness” and see if that makes more sense to you.
      All possibilities – past, present, future – already exist. That’s true. And as WE move through these possibilities, these realities, the illusion of time is created (as is the illusion that reality is changing, rather than US moving through the realities). So yes, it’s all happening right now, but our perception of the experience is linear. And that experience is valuable – it is what causes the expansion. Kind of like a movie. The movie exists, but as you watch it (and the moving of the frames causes an illusion of movement), you are enriched by the experience.
      Does that make more sense?


  • I’ve certainly noticed this in my own life. Sometimes it’s hard to try keeping up with things as I’m evolving in such a fast pace now. Lots of new ideas, perspectives and ambitions are coming up right now and I like it! On the other hand, a lot of old resistance is coming up to be released, which makes this somewhat a volatile ride every now and then. Mind you, I’m all dancing around the room as I’m visualizing my future career as a life coach, and suddenly I’m hit with a memory of being bullied and molested when I was 13. What the heck, where did THAT came from? I thought I had released this many moons ago! When I still was a “muggle”, I would’ve freaked out and shut down immediatly. Now I’m more inclined to play Sherlock Holmes and find out what is this flashback trying to say me. Learning about energy has certainly expanded my understanding so I don’t tend to get upset nearly as easily as before. Do I still get astounded? Absolutely. But freak out? No.

    Greetings from the energetic rollercoaster! 😀

    Lady R

    • Hey Lady R – I’ve had a similar thing happen to me in the latter part of this year. Random childhood memories coming to the surface out of nowhere – some mundane, some not so. They almost feel like bubbles that have been trapped under water for years that have finally found a route to the surface, come up, pop and vanish.

      I’m not sure about you, but the first time I actually looked at some of these feelings/memories, they did seem much ‘heavier’ and working through them was much more like wading through tar. Whereas now it’s almost like the ‘big’ release was like removing a piece of glass stuck in your foot, now it’s all the little shards, still causing some discomfort but not crippling, being removed.

      Too much Melodly Fletcher for me I think – gone a bit crazy on the analogies there hahah!

      • Hi Maz,
        Thank you for sharing your experience! Yes, I agree the negative childhood memories feel much heavier now. I guess it’s because the memories vibrate at a very low frequency, whereas my core vibration is much higher now. That’s going to cause some discord and we all know how obnoxious it can feel! On the other hand, I’m definitely glad that the old powerless energy, that has been festering under the surface, is finally coming up to be released. I want to get rid of this bane I’ve been carrying for so many years of my life. Hell, this is not the thing I came here for. My life purpose is not to be a walking landfill of toxic emotional waste. Yeah, I think I might still have some bits of anger to release, but now if ever is the perfect time for it! Rooaarrr!

        Oh, and I think your analogies were spot on 🙂 Melody would most likely be very proud of you! Ha 😀

        Lady R

      • There’s no such thing as too many analogies, Maz!!! Ha.
        They help us get clarity, and that’s always a good thing.

        Lady R,
        Remember that memories can be representations for many different beliefs. So the same memory may come up several times for different purposes. This way you don’t have to have as many negative manifestations. They can represent multiple beliefs at once.
        Glad you’re not freaking out anymore.

        Smooshy hugs!

  • Holy mackerel!

    A moment of total honesty that is probably going to sound grim: I am discovering that I hate this. I hate having to grow and evolve. I never feel in control, so I don’t want to go faster. I want to get steady on training wheels, if I have to do it at all. But 2017 has been a speed zone. I’ve discovered that all (most?) of my previous vibrational work was basically BS, because my REAL vibration is something like “I’m not safe. The world is dangerous and people constantly force you to do things. Also, I’m a bad person and I should feel bad about myself. I’m never going to get ANYTHING I want, and all I can hope for is death’s merciful release.”

    At least this is how I feel in December 2017. Earlier in the year I would have said I felt better. But phew! It’s like I went from feeling tense but sorta in control, to a lot of stuff happening where it was like I needed to balance on a surfboard on a wave that kept going faster and faster, but I kept falling off, also I hate going fast and I think I’m going to die. (You guys… all my stuff was lost in a fire!!! Literally while I was trying to be trusting! You have to laugh. When you’re not flat on the floor, ahem.)

    I don’t understand how I wound up in this emotional place. I’m doing my best as I understand it, but maaaaaaaaan. It’s like it keeps going faster even as I realize more and more how terrified of speed I am? I feel baffled, glum, like I have no control, and ready to crawl under the porch. I’m really trying my hardest to stay loose and (if I can’t be legitimately cheerful) at least be real with myself about how I do feel, and be ready to move out of those emotions if the opportunity arises. But instead of feeling more empowered, it’s like I feel less and less powerful, is that crazy? I remember recently you said something really positive about the internet being a step toward telepathy, and instead my honest feeling has recently been one of increasing paranoia, suddenly finding myself empathizing with people who fear the government, anxiety about if social media is good for me, etc. (I swear I don’t intentionally seek these things out.) I have also found myself feeling really fatalistic and like “Obviously my destiny is just to be a loser, that’s why [my dream career] just couldn’t work out for me, that’s why I had so many people championing me and still nothing happening. It’s fate, man.”

    It’s so weird and I’m feeling so low, so confused, and ultimately I think so bad about myself and so powerless.

    All I can think to do right now is be really authentic about how I feel, and be willing to feel even a little bit better. But I don’t want more expansion and more speed! If things get even faster, I feel literally like 2018 might destroy me. WTF IS HAPPENING.

    PS your reality creation academy cannot come soon enough, I need some perspective on this stuff!

    (Thanks for letting me write this out, Melody and Puppies. It feels a bit better and more comical than before I started typing.)

    • I just had to reply to this because I know exactly what you’re feeling. I have been where you are many times in the past, and I’m sure it’s going to happen again since everything seems to be a big cycle where the next round is always a bit easier than the previous (it DOES get easier, even though I know that doesn’t probably comfort you at all right now) Since you are unique with your past and your dreams and your personality, I can only tell you what helped me when the shit wouldn’t stop hitting the fan, and hope maybe you’ll find something you could use so the ride would be a little smoother?
      The first thing I learned that often when you just can’t stop feeling like crap and find a better feeling thought, just feel like crap. It’s ok. You don’t have to feel better. You can just be. You can just decide to stop trying so hard and just not get out of bed and decide and this was it, you’re done with feeling so much. And gradually you’ll start realizing that it won’t kill you, nothing bad is going to happen to you if you just let go. And then you’ll slowly start feeling better, not because you have to to raise your vibration, but because you want to, because you’re done feeling like crap. You’ve already done the hardest part which is being honest with yourself. And that is real courage right there.

      Another thing I learned from the pain was that the better feeling thought might not seem like the better feeling thought at first. What I mean is that there were times where the only thought that made me feel better was reminding myself that I’m in the physical body voluntarily and I can leave whenever I want. I went to bed in the evening wishing I wouldn’t wake up. Now wanting to die doesn’t really seem like a nice thought at all, does it? But that’s the thing, the “better feeling thought” isn’t the most logical or obvious choice. It is what makes you feel better in the midst of all the pain. And when you’re there, any thought is fair game as long as it gives you relief. My vibrational Holy Grail is freedom, so my better feeling thoughts normally revolve around that topic, like in this example. You just have to find yours.
      Everything is going to be ok , just follow the yellow brick road <3

      • Wow, Heather, THANK YOU.

        I so hear the wisdom of what you’re saying, and want to implement it. It’s feels so difficult for me right now to relax into feeling bad, because the lowest feeling bad I get is a sense of impending doom. A sense of “something extremely terrible is about to happen to me, and there’s nothing I can do, I’m powerless”. (I get it in the late afternoon/early evening recently, I’ll be fine all day, and then 4pm rolls around and doooooooom.) I get a sort of paranoid thought loop where I become convinced that if I sink into feeling bad, I will cause the unspecified doom to happen, but I’ll still be unable to find a way to feel better, so… more doom!

        I’m just going to ask my childish question: do you think this is bullshit, and if I just relax into the feeling of doom and feel mopey and powerless and sad, I won’t actually cause The Doom? (I feel so fragile and like I definitely can’t survive a big terrible event, if I’m brutally frank.)

        PS, this afternoon I found myself fantasizing weepily about dying of something blameless like a good bout of cancer, which I guess did give me a kind of relief, so I get what you’re saying! It’s really weird for me to keep realizing that no matter how much I’ve tried to find a better feeling thought and look on the bright side, apparently underneath a bunch of emotional callouses, I’ve felt… this stuff! Lord.

      • Hmm, your latest message seems to lack a “reply” option, so I’ll just reply my own message and hope it won’t mess up the thread structure. Melody, we need a discussion forum 😀

        But I still wanted to answer your “childish” question, which is not childish at all but very valid and extremely important. The sensation of impending doom is the fear that’s keeping you from purging your emotions and your vibration from rising. You’ve gone up to recognising how you feel, the next step is to let all those stored emotions our of your body. You’re now thinking the thoughts but you’re not yet feeling the feelings 🙂
        I’ve felt the feeling of doom myself, and in my case it was a belief I formed when I was maybe 3-4 years old. Long story short, I was very often too scared of my mother to cry, so eventually I lost the skill of crying for years. Also she was too unstable at the time to deal with any of my emotions, so I came to the conclusion that if I display my emotions openly, she might reject and possibly abandon me altogether. From a three-year-old’s perspective your mother abandoning you pretty much is the end of the world, but of course, eventually I grew up. The original source for the fear was now long forgotten. But since the fear was never revisited and released, it grew up too. Let me put it this way; as a kid, you saw a horror movie and the stuff in it was way too much for you to handle, and then you see an old movie poster twenty years later and you feel the same paralyzing fear that gave you all those nightmares as a kid. You are accessing the old perspective, because you never got the chance to develop a new one. But if you’d actually watch the movie again, you’d find that the special effects look ridicilous and cheap and wtf were you even scared of in the first place?
        This is your fear of doom. There’s still that child inside of you, that once came to the conclusion that if you just let go and relax and let all those feelings come out, the world’s going to end. You’ll need to show the poor kid that it’s perfectly safe now, because you grew up and you can handle it together. It’s most likely going to happen gradually, depending on how much stuff you’ve been carrying around, but every time you’ll be able to spend at least ten minutes feeling like crap, I mean honestly feeling it, and nothing bad happens, that is a huge victory for you. And the more you start to trust it, the more you’ll be able to release.

        Btw, when you said that fantasizing about cancer gave you relief, that’s a better feeling thought right there. That’s the insanity of this stuff, because who’d ever imagine that dreaming about having cancer is a good thought? 😀 I’ve actually done it many times myself, as a sort of “Screw you, you didn’t care about me and now I’m dying so there” type of thing.

      • Heather – thank you so much. It’s a little eerie that you described the reason for your feeling o’ doom, because I immediately realized, wow, that’s also my reason. (Do you read energy, or was that a coincidence/”coincidence”?)

        I’d never thought of it that way before, even though I’d connected some of my weird emotional stuff to my early childhood, the connection to the doom sensation was never clear to me. That makes so much sense!

        It’s so rough for me to feel my intense feelings. I’ve often felt that I’m going to die if I fully feel the sensation of deep shame or deep fear. But realizing that part of that fear-of-emotion is a really old “I might literally get abandoned and die if I don’t shut this down” script seems like it might defuse that somewhat.

        Thank you again. This is really valuable information for me!

    • Wow, Cordy, every time you post it feels as though you are writing my life. Well, apart from the fire – sorry to hear about that! And Heather, great advice and thank you for sharing.

      I have started doubting everything recently. All my beliefs, even that there is a universe, or at least one that cares. Do we actually create our reality? Not so sure any more. Is there any point to any of it? Don’t know. And definitely paranoia, which has never bothered me before, and worrying about social media.

      And I definitely relate to the feeling that I will never get what I want – or at least not until I am so old I won’t care.

      I have the slump in the morning. I get into thought loops and can’t get out. By the time I leave for work, I am in a state. By 5pm I am feeling a lot calmer and better and even a little hopeful. But tired, so tired. It feels like there is a bottomless pit of resistance and defenses and I just can’t get through all of it, so maybe I should not even try. But then I feel that I have to keep going and I vacillate between those poles over and over.

      Hoping we can both find our way out of this. Sending you a huge smooshy hug (hope that is OK).

      • Edelweiss, I relate to everything you wrote. Are you my dimensional twin?!?

        “I have started doubting everything recently. All my beliefs, even that there is a universe, or at least one that cares. Do we actually create our reality? Not so sure any more. Is there any point to any of it? Don’t know. And definitely paranoia, which has never bothered me before, and worrying about social media.”

        YES. That is all so recognizable to me. I’m admitting that I feel fated to a certain life experience. That my experience is not actually that I control my experiences, but that it feels more like I get assigned to some and they happen, no matter what I try. I guess there’s a kind of relief in just admitting that?

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