I’ve got something a little different for you this week (while I’m working on the next soap box video…) I’ve been making it a point to engage a lot more on all the various platforms and their comments sections, including on my blog, on Facebook and on YouTube. And man, has it been fun! I’m having the BEST conversations, even when people don’t necessarily agree with me or my work (that’s not a requirement for me to be able to enjoy it.)
Engaging in comment sections, on your own platform or someone else’s, can be kind of nerve wracking. I mean, on a lot of sites, things can get pretty ugly in the comments (which is why we moderate our comments), and who wants to engage with that? And then, of course, there’s always the danger that someone will come after you – that they’ll be mean to you, or criticize you. And even if you’re not afraid of that, you might still not want to get involved.
Well, the new me does want to get involved. The cool thing is that even when people leave negative opinions, what they’re actually doing is asking for help. I mean, why else would they be reading my stuff or watching one of my videos (and probably many others like it)?
I had just such an experience this weekend, when I decided to reply to a YouTube audience member who chose the comment section under one of my videos to declare that the Law of Attraction ruins lives and is therefore evil.
What transpired was a beautiful exchange and a valuable teaching moment. I’m inspired to share the exchange here. Maybe it’ll inspire someone to react differently to “negative” comments or replies. Maybe it’ll just be a fun read. In either case, you’re welcome. 🙂
If you can’t see the image below properly, you can read the entire exchange HERE on YouTube. Enjoy!
Melody, I remember you once did a call with a woman where you used a metaphor of walking on a trail through peaks and valleys, to explain how our understanding of LOA changes over time. I always remember the woman’s charming laugh when she said “I don’t feel badly about it [that she kept ‘forgetting’ and relearning things]”.
That’s only mildly related to this, I guess. But I wanted to say that it is amazing to me that I am taking SO LONG to really understand that we have to feel our feelings for them to shift. Like no doubt many people here , I have a lot of early trauma that led to me learning to “think positive” or seem okay in bad circumstances. Even though your work and your book explicitly states this, that we have to feel our feelings, and even though I’ve been studying deliberate creation for like 15 years at this point, and working with a great therapist, only very recently have I been able to feel some of my negative feelings. Can I give an example?
I felt inspired to go on a diet. So I did. The diet felt pretty okay, I felt okay about the whole thing, not upset or terribly restricted. I would have said that I felt optimistic, like change was happening, and like I was doing something really good for my physical self. Recently, after about a month of holding off on this, I decided to check to see if I had lost any weight. NO. NOT AN OUNCE. Even though I had really been doing my best and not been cheating at all. I immediately plunged into really bad feelings. Then I shoved those feelings away, like I learned to do in my childhood, when it was unsafe to be visibly sad, disappointed, upset, angry, anything but happy. And I felt awful. So defeated, so disappointed, so powerless, so small, I wanted to crawl into bed and mainline cake to numb the bad feelings. Then, instead of just continuing shove those feelings down, I went and vented to my partner about how disappointed, defeated, hopeless, etc I felt. I wouldn’t say that I felt good while doing this. But I could see that it felt less bad to just admit that I was really disappointed than to pretend and think positive and keep a good attitude. I had something else like this recently where I really spilled the beans on how, in spite of my groovy body-positive attitude, I actually hate my body and find it disgusting and terrible. I’d never said that out loud before, my entire life. (While of course constantly carrying that feeling around with me!)
I still don’t think I’ve lost any weight or anything, I don’t know what web of beliefs is holding me in this place or how to untangle them. I still have a very foggy block around understanding how you move from feeling your feelings to feeling better to intentionally changing to a different belief.
I don’t know, it’s just amazing to me that after all of this time, what did I think i was reading and hearing? Just be fake positive? (To anyone out there reading this… fake positive doesn’t seem to work! I really took it for a spin, so I think I would know if it was effective, lol.)
What do you think about our higher selves manipulating/abusing us (us, the physical version). There are people who die when they were living a great life. Their physical self wasn’t ready to go, but the higher self said, “oh, you’re dying today, whether you like it or not”, and the person died. Or a person can suffer through anything violent and painful, just because their higher self wants to expand, and will take any measure to accomplish it, no matter how violated the physical counterpart is. Since every pain of the physical person instantly creates the expansion and joy in the higher self, it looks like the higher self is having a blast all day every day, no matter what hell its physical counterpart goes through.
If a person wants to die because they’ve really had it enough and can’t take it anymore, but the death won’t occur no matter what, because the higher self is having a blast, and wants to milk this great opportunity for expansion (on the expense of the physical counterpart), that’s just extremely sadistic and heartless. Why are our higher selves allowed to have a blast while we are writhing in agony? It’s like the CEOs of big industrial companies having a blast in all the money, while the residents of areas affected by air or water or ground pollution are catching diseases and suffering from the pollution. I want to beat the hell out of my higher self, and make HIM writhe in agony for a change, while I watch and aren’t affected.
I so appreciate your question. I know that a lot of people struggle with this.
So… your higher self LOVES you. It IS you. Your higher self doesn’t want you to suffer any more than you want any part of your body to suffer. Your higher self doesn’t suffer with you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s oblivious to your suffering. Your higher self is always trying to pull you in the direction of less suffering. But, you have free will. So you can choose not to go (and boy do we often fight the light). That that creates pain and suffering.
Why do you not die when you decide you want to? Because your higher self, your WHOLE self, knows that the suffering will end. And that it’s unnecessary. And it’s just waiting for you to realize that (and this is not easy to do). You are not a weak little victim that life happens to, even if it sometimes feels like that. You’re an infinitely powerful being. What we’re all doing right now is fighting our way tooth and nail to remember that. The more we do, the less suffering there is. So our higher selves are rooting for us. They KNOW we can do this. Because we’re all masters. We’ve come to play a difficult game, like when you’re REALLY good at a video game, you choose the hardest levels. Who we really are, the WHOLE of us, we know we’ve got this. The challenge is for our human selves to catch up to that knowledge.
Does that help a bit?
Your heart appears to be in the right place in the sense that you are trying to help others. YHVH, however, is the one who attracts experiences, or not. If the law of attraction is working for you, it is because He allows it. He can just as easily disallow it. Your philosophy seems to be trying to replace YHVH with humans. That won’t work.
The person you tried to help has an interesting graphic for an avatar. It is quasi-Satanic from the Goat of Mendes origin. Did you attract that, too?
Thanks so much for your comment. I’m not so much trying to replace God with humans, I’m saying that I’ve realized (and this is me, no one has to buy into this), that we’re the same thing. We’re not always living as God, of course; we don’t yet have that consciousness. But we can choose to, if we want to. We can choose to embody that energy, to let it express through us. And when we do, it’s glorious. But again, that’s just me.
Melody, this post came at the right time for me. As they say “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” which also applies to the YouTube exchange you had. I think that person was ready to receive.
Two things that I took away from all of this. One, I have found that the way in which LOA teachings are explained is not received the same way by everyone no matter how true it is (yes, I know I’m being obvious!) . As a personal example, many teachers tend to go about it in a very spiritual way that doesn’t sit quite right with me, or they leave out important bits that, were they to include them, I’d be totally on board. I also think those “less intuitive” and “more logical” people would have a harder time accepting it. In short: it’s hard to reach everyone because we have such different filters.
The second thing, I think I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: you have also helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Your teachings were actually what jumpstarted my whole “I’m gonna turn my life around.” First, I awakened my intuition big time, it was something I had suppressed for years due to emotional troubles and it turns out, I’m highly intuitive but at the same time highly ‘systemic’ in my thinking as well. And then, as I got the gist of what you were saying, I researched the crap out of LOA by reading through a bunch of different perspectives, filling in the gaps and formulating my own recipe for what works best. Lastly, it finally clicked to the point I didn’t have to rely on teachings to manifest what I needed.
And let me just say, every day is different, and almost every day I experience euphoric aha moments, I can almost feel the tissue in my brain shift as I make the changes. My journey is definitely not complete by any means, and I think outside looking in you could say “meh, she hasn’t done much” and yet, on the inside it is SO different that if I were to visualize it, it’s like the dark and heavy foggy cloak of the past has fallen behind and only a few misty claws grapple onto me.
I wanted to share some important bits that helped me tremendously that might also help others:
1. For me, intuition is number 1. Trusting myself. When I get a gut feeling, I go with it. I base my decisions on it: I HAVE YET TO BE DISAPPOINTED. So this means, less reading and analyzing using LOA, more being present and open to the current possibilities and the events that unfold before me (they’re always like a fortune cookie, with a message for me), which leads me to:
2. All that you need is right in front of you. I didn’t understand this before I awakened my intuition but basically it means that you don’t have to make any drastic changes or go somewhere far away to be perceptive to all the lessons around you in your every day “mundane” experiences. Your life and the place you’re ‘stuck in’, unless you live like a hermit, is a mini version of the world at large.
3. When I get impatient, manifesting is much slower. When I accept that “I’m here because the universe is trying to tell me something and I’m not listening,” things happen faster than I could’ve predicted.
Thank you for sharing your exchange.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and lessons learned. Yes, I think your insights will help others. 🙂
“I HAVE YET TO BE DISAPPOINTED” – I love this!!
Huge hugs for you!
I apologise for the negative tone of this comment, but I had a mixture of sadness and anger that people who don’t believe in the LoA get more attention and help than those who do. I think I fall into that person’s “depressed and disappointed” category. I sent a pretty desperate but heartfelt plea for help months ago, and I am sure many people email all the time and mine was completely insignificant, but it can’t help but leave a bitter feeling. I’m very likely jealous. I am still struggling with manifestation to this day. I believe 100% in LoA, I’ve had many successes too, but this year has been especially hard as I feel I’m running out of time to create very important things. I can have a 0.5 or 5 second visualisation/thought that is completely something I don’t want to happen… but it happens. Accidentally manifesting what is unwanted seems to be so much easier than what is wanted. I’m aware a lot of It is to do with beliefs, but there is no simple easy obvious way to change them. Life seems like a giant maze designed to screw everyone who isn’t perfect over at this point. I am sorry for my negativity. I’m really struggling to even “feel better” any more, because the last time I put my whole self into that, really emotionally painful stuff began to happen. I also dissociate emotionally very quickly due to years of trauma, and I’ve always been hypersensitive so it is a necessary survival mechanism but it makes doing vibrational work so challenging. I’m at the point where I realise it’s completely pointless to even post this because I have a very limiting belief I never ever get help when I need it. Some people like me are just cursed to manifest what they don’t want and have positive emotions “backfire”, not to mention the random nightmares even though I feel quite good. There is no help and guidance unless you fit into an “easy” to help category. Otherwise no one wants anything to do with you. Just speaking from my own experience, but I’m sure plenty of people feel the same way as it’s learned from a young age as most children are neglected and emotionally abused and learn many limiting beliefs that prevent them from getting adequate help.
Hey there M,
There’s no need to apologize. You get to feel how you feel.
I’m sorry if it looks like I’m giving more attention to “non-believers”. I don’t often have such a lengthy exchange with people, but I did that day.
Personally, I’m no longer able to answer private questions I get, because I would spend most of my time doing that instead of helping as many people as I can, and it would all be 1-on-1. This exchange was PUBLIC, which means that my time spent answering helps more people. And that’s in line with what I want.
But there’s another reason: some questions are just easier to answer in comment format. Basic LOA questions usually make good candidates for this, while someone who needs full on coaching requires a lot more back and forth. In other words, they need coaching (this email exchange was not so much coaching as pure teaching).
I’ve had and still have quite a few clients who are recovering and have recovered from massive trauma. In fact, it’s kind of shocking just how many people have suffered abuse in their childhoods and beyond. In these cases, it requires a fair bit more than just a few pat answers in the comment section. We have to strategically peel back the layers, but never too fast so it doesn’t trigger all the installed defensive and protective mechanisms (which are always numerous and very strong in abuse victims). We have to release those mechanisms and fears bit by bit. This might make it sound slow, but it isn’t (not compared to years of therapy). But it does take some time, and patience and skill. And I wish education was enough, but it often does require a helping hand. We do offer private coaching on my website if you want to check that out. I’m also in the process of putting together a new program that will focus on the core teachings in a deep way, break down an emotional education, and teach some releasing techniques that just about anyone can do. My goal is to help as many people as possible, and this is one step in that direction.
Please don’t stop asking. I read every email I get, even if I can’t respond personally (although you should have gotten an answer from my team). But I do take the questions on-board and I try to figure out how to get them answered in a bigger and more effective way, so problems actually get solved. So, I do hear you, and I do want to help. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to do that.
And I do want to tell you that it can and does get better. There is hope. I’ve personally healed from childhood trauma, and I’ve helped many others do the same. We’re not just sort of functioning while having learned to live with our pain. Our pain is gone. It’s been released. And while it’s not always an easy or pleasant process to heal such deep wounds, it’s totally worth it. And it does work.
I hope that helps a bit, and helps to explain why some questions are easier to answer than others (teaching vs. coaching).
Stay tuned and keep asking.
“I can have a 0.5 or 5 second visualisation/thought that is completely something I don’t want to happen… but it happens. Accidentally manifesting what is unwanted seems to be so much easier than what is wanted”.
If you look at the way you do the negative manifestations you’ll see there’s no competing thoughts or resistance when you do it. Then you back it up with “oh god, I’ve just had that thought now it will happen”. You can use that for positives – “My new car”… low effort, unopposed,….”now it will happen, oh god I knew it”.
So let me get this straight, it’s not about the actual “desire” or expectation, but the belief about or behind manifesting that desire? In OP’s example, his desire is to get out of a job that he hates, but his belief, as he has himself stated, is “you get the opposite of what you believe and expect” and therefore, that happened? (He hated his job-> he loved his job) Am I getting it right?
What a wonderful exchange, Melody! Thanks for sharing. It made me feel good seeing the beautiful, kind and uplifting way you “coached” this man!!
Thanks so much John! It made me feel good to share it. <3
Your video was a very good idea. I think that since you addressed the concern that LOA might be evil, and you respected that every single person has their own version of religion and beliefs, that you probably eased some fears of those who are exploring LOA for the first time. Good job!
Hugs for you!
Thank you for bringing YOUR light to the world Melody :).
You’re welcome Aurore! <3
Of course LOA ruins lives. It also saves lives. It enhances lives. It makes us rich, and it makes us poor. Since everyone on the planet uses LOA— consciously or unconsciously—it is what each of us makes it to be. Is it your fault, as the messenger, that people take in a little information, and then run off half-cocked and make a mess of their lives? I think not. I started reading about this stuff over 20 years ago, and reached plateaus wherein I thought “OK, I’ve got it now”, only to realized later I wasn’t there yet. In my case, though, I took that initial leap of faith, and always took credit for the “good” and the “bad” events in my life. (The “good” events far outnumber the “bad”.)
Thanks for adding your perspective! Yes! LOA ruins lives! LOL.
One of the main reasons I started my blog is because I felt like I had come to an understanding that actually worked. For me and others. And I saw so much misinformation out there (which is always someone’s manifestation and always perfect in its function and purpose). People who were searching for relief or clarity were often left feeling worse and more confused. But instead of pushing against their info, I just started teaching my own stuff. When you do start to take 100% responsibility as you have, everything starts to change.
And also, it’s really hard to get offended by someone disagreeing with you when you’re leading an awesome life. 🙂
Melody, I appreciate how gracious you are with people who don’t necessarily agree with or even judge LOA as “evil”. You probably won’t be able to “convert” all the naysayers but presenting your perspective may well inspire them to examine theirs. My brother has a very different world view from mine (if we were living in the US he’d definitely have voted for Trump) but interestingly, we have never fought over it. On the contrary, our conversations have been pretty enlightening for both of us and even though we don’t agree with each other on most issues, we still find it great that we get to hear why the other thinks the way he/she does. This way we both are able to understand our varying points of view, at least to some degree.
Having said that, I get it completely why LOA and spiritual work in general gets a bad rap. Platitudes like “You should be grateful to the person who triggered you, the incident carries a gift for you!” or “Your vibration caused it to happen!” sound nothing but a saccharine version of emotional abuse. If the goal is to empower people to become their best and most authentic selves, that approach doesn’t probably help. I no longer allow myself to be bullied that way. Even though I can work out sooner or later what was the underlying trigger in that conversation, I still don’t have to be grateful to that other person. Instead, I choose to be grateful to myself. For working it all out so damn well 😉
Hey Lady R,
I totally agree. Statements like that aren’t usually helpful at all. Even “you create your own reality!” can be heard as “It’s all your fault if your life is shit!”. The thing is, those statements can also be totally empowering. It all depends on the energy someone is holding (both the person projecting it and the person receiving it). Often, the person saying these statements is really saying “Feel better already because you’re making ME uncomfortable!” So yeah, there’s some manipulation going on. Well done you for no longer subjecting yourself to it. 🙂
Thanks for your response Melody! Yeah, the energy behind the words matters a LOT. I’ve been pretty pissed off with all the spiritual bypassing and manipulation hence the simplification in the second paragraph of my original comment. But it seems I’m in a relatively good place concerning it anyhow – otherwise I would’ve been much more venomous with my wording 😀 Ha!
O liked two sentences out of this conversation- manifestation are mixtures and even a positive manifestation is there to challenge us or show us something . I feel that negative ones are there to show us that there’s more to the issue at hand then what you think about it and know and hence more aspects not known earlier to be explored . It also signifies that it’s not an end to this issue at hand unless you chose to end it . Positive ones on the other hand may mean that you’re done with this and there’s something either completely new or an advanced version of it that you would want to start . Is that generally the case ,?
Pretty much spot on Chaitrali! Everything and I do mean EVERYTHING in your reality is there FOR you. Even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. 🙂
I put a sharp or negative tone into some of my comments in order to get the attention required to guarantee a response, because I believe no one listens unless I do that. It’s the norm online for people not to respond to anything (blogs, social media, forums), although I’m noticing here you do respond most of the time.
Oooh. “I believe no one listens unless I do that”. Perhaps it’s time to choose a different belief? 🙂
Short true story: you helped me turn my life around. Im happier, stronger and awake! As you say their opinions are their truths, it’s their story, their not ready to hear what you have to say yet. It will resonate or it won’t. Your work resonates with me because it is like a voice through the darkness. I tell you every opportunity how grateful I am, because I am :)!!!
Love it!! I had a similar believe like that in the past where I “knew” somehow that if I convinced myself I wasn’t going to get something (a job, gift, etc) then I magically get it, just like you said. I had to be ok with “not getting it” in order to release any sort of blocking “too excited” energy that would prevent me from getting it because I thought if I got my hopes up then it would probably end in crushing disappointment. I feel like I got a lot of things this way, but now I’ve learned that it’s ok to be excited about something and to day dream and mentally create and it’s a lot more fun! That’s pretty awesome that you could change the tone of that person’s opinion from “this is evil” to “this is interesting.” 🙂
Yay for aha-moments!! Well done Abigail! <3
Thank you so much for your wonderful, kind words! It’s my absolute please and my complete honor to be that voice (or one of them anyway).