Ok, the day has finally come. I’ve made a weight loss video. Although I’m not technically “done” with my journey, it’s become far too obvious now not to notice, and you’ve asked me to share what I can about what I’ve learned about effortless, torture-free, deprivation-free weight loss. Which is what I’m doing at the moment.
I’m not sure how much I’ve lost (I stopped weighing myself recently, but it’s over 70 pounds now), but it’s clearly significant. And I’ve done without dieting, exercising or any torture whatsoever. No potions, no pills, no food groups, no “Oh, it’s not hard, I just can’t eat this and this and this. But I’m pretending that it’s not torture!”. Nope!
And I do know that this sounds like the holy grail. That’s because, for me, it is. Maybe it is for you, as well. And while I don’t yet have all the answers (or the short cut), I’m happy to share with you what I can. But I do know that the shortcut is coming, so stay tuned!
Now, without further ado, here’s what I’ve learned about (effortless!) weight loss.
You asked; I’m answering! You wanted to know how I’m losing weight in an effortless, torture-free way. Well, today I’m going to tell you. Stay tuned!
Hey guys, it’s Melody Fletcher here, and a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned in a video about something else, that yes, in case you’ve noticed – because I know I do my videos from like here up – so it’s not as easy to tell, although, I think now it’s really blatant; I have already lost a ton of weight. I’m continuing to lose weight, and for the first time in my life, in an absolutely torture-free, diet-free, exercise-free, deprivation-free way; which is what I’ve been reaching for all of my life.
My biggest issue
And, this has been my really big issue all my life, so I’m super stoked that this has resolved. And, it does feel like it has resolved for me, and the weight loss is just happening. In fact, another sign that I got just the other day is: I realized that a new big issue has now crystallized out. Because, our big issue, what keeps us motivated, and keeps pushing us forward; it’s not just motivation. But it opens up doors and keeps us going in a direction that we wouldn’t necessarily be willing to go into without that really big incentive, that really big desire. That dare I say, even desperation for something that we want.
So, your big issue might be your weight, it might be that you haven’t had a relationship in your life to speak of, and you can’t seem to get that working; it might be abundance. And, you might have all three of those, but I promise you one of them is the thing that you’d probably give your right leg for.
A magic pill
Even 10, 15 years ago, if you would have asked me, “Hey, Melody! I have this magic pill, and it’s going to make you lose all your weight overnight, and you’ll never be fat again. You will always be thin, you’ll never be fat again, but we’re going to take 10 years off your life.” I would have gobbled up that pill so fast. Oh my God! I would have done anything to be thin. That’s how strong that motivation was. In hindsight, I can see how much growth the motivation to lose weight actually caused in my life. Didn’t see it at the time; even when my guides said it to me a few years ago, because I’m like, “You know; why fat?” And they’re like, “Because, it’s pushing you forward in a way that nothing else would.” I disagreed at the time; but, I agree now
I don’t have the shortcut…yet
So, your weight may be your big issue, and I’ll warn you right now, I don’t have the shortcut yet. I don’t, you know how I like to take things apart and then find the patterns, and then find the shortcut. I don’t have the shortcut for this yet, because I’m still in my journey, and I’m still figuring a few things out. My guides have told me, very clearly, that there’s a lot more clarity coming. Because, I have a very strong desire, a very strong intension (and I always have), to teach this. Part of my motivation was to figure it out so that I could teach it.
And, I know how painful extra weight is. Oh my God, do I!! I have a real strong desire to help alleviate some of that. And so, I know that I will have it, but I don’t have it yet. But, I also know that you guys are in a position where I was for a long time. And, I remember this very viscerally; that if somebody had come along and said, “I’ve done this; I’m doing this.” I would have said, “Tell me how.” And, if they’d said, “Well, I don’t know all of it yet.” I would say, “Well, give me what you can!!” And so, I’m going to give you what I can. Ok!
Body-Led weight loss
Alright, so #1, the big distinction that I’m making between how I have always lost weight, which was diet and exercise, and how I’m losing weight now, is that this is ‘body-led weight loss.’ And, if nobody’s trademarked that yet, it’s mine!! Haha! It’s body-led weight loss, which means that my body is in charge of the weight loss, and I am not. I am not trying to make my body lose weight. I am not brow-beating it into it. I am not trying to mitigate my shitty, destructive, sabotaging body. I am not trying to trick it. I’m not trying to somehow; I’m not doing anything, I’m not doing anything. My body’s doing all the work.
Torture-led weight loss
And, here’s the beautiful thing: My body knows exactly how to lose weight. I don’t!! And so, this is a very, very different way of losing weight than I’ve ever done before, which was always torture-led weight loss. Now it’s body-led weight loss, because it was always me forcing my body by trying to control the calories, by eating differently. By watching what kinds of calories I was eating. Oh, trust me, I did everything! Low-carb, high-carb, low-fat, high-fat, low-protein, high-protein, different combinations. If there was anything I could tweak, I did it. Anything that I could try, I did it.
I worked out 6 days a week, three hours a day. I tortured myself in the gym; it wasn’t fun. But, I felt good afterwards because I had accomplished something. I had managed to torture myself successfully. But, I didn’t feel really, really good; I just felt a sense of accomplishment. But, what I really was doing was just horrific, just horrific to my body. It was like beating up a faithful servant – every day. Every day! With my food, with my exercise, with my attitude, with my words. My body was my greatest enemy. I absolutely hated my body. And, for me to get to the point where I could do body-led weight loss I had to go through a big journey of #1, letting out all of the anger against my body, all of the rage, all of the resentment.
Because, I blamed my body for everything! I was a fat kid; I was a fat teenager. I was bullied; I was teased. And so, I blamed it, not only for all of that, I blamed my weight for all of that. And obviously, my body was keeping me fat. Right? I didn’t know any better. And so, I dieted, and I dieted, and I exercised, and I always saw my body as betraying me, because it wouldn’t keep the weight off.
The myth about fat people
By the way, just to go off on a little tangent here: There’s this myth out there that fat people are lazy, and have low willpower. I can tell you from my own experience, and having talked to enough fat people, and experienced them, that I feel I can have a qualified opinion on this. Fat people are often the least lazy people you’ll ever meet. Because the amount of willpower it takes to be able to keep up a diet for weeks or months, when you’re going against your body, you’re going against your vibration; so it’s just pure determination, torturous determination. The amount of willpower and strength it takes to do that, not only once, but to then have everything go back – to fail. To go through the devastation of regaining all the weight (and probably more); and then get up and do it all again. That takes a tremendous amount of strength. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower and determination, and willingness to suffer.
So, people who are like, “Oh, well, you’re just not willing to suffer; you’re just lazy. You’re just not willing to go on a diet. You’re not willing to eat a little bit less.”
“Oh; go fuck yourself!! Seriously, you’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”
I’ve always wanted to say that!! Haha. Ok – (“Go fuck yourself!!”)
Anyway! Because I’m always so nice in person!! I’m like, “You know what? This is what I really think of your comment!!”
Because, here’s the thing – as a fat girl, you don’t get to say that, because then, you’re just lazy, and you’re just delusional. Right?
Learn to listen and trust your body
And, that’s what really kept me stuck for so long. Because, there’s some really big beliefs that I had to let go of. But first, I had to learn to listen to my body; I had to learn to trust my body. And that took years. And, part of why it took years is: I had no role-models, and I had no examples. And, I kept getting the other message, that the way to lose weight is to diet and exercise. And if you’re not losing weight it’s because you’re doing it wrong, and it’s your own damn fault. There’s all this shame, and there’s all this guilt with it.
And so, of course, that made me even feel worse about my body whom I was blaming for all of this. I had to let go of a lot of anger, a lot of resentment through emotional releases, through anger releases. And then, I did things like writing letters to my body. At first, they were super angry. They were like, “You fuckwad! You have been sabotaging me all my life. And, nothing has worked out, because….” I mean, totally melodramatic. It doesn’t matter; you’re letting it out. Right? And then, I started to realize that, once I sort of let that out, that my body had faithfully, and very kindly, been with me all my life, and had put up with all this torture. And, once I started learning more about energy, I realized that there was something in my energy field that would not allow me to lose weight; that was keeping the weight on me. And, my body could not help but comply with that.
And so, I was creating an energy field that was keeping all this weight on me. And then I was beating the crap out of my body, trying to force it to lose weight. No wonder it didn’t go well! I actually made myself sick a couple of times. Which, I didn’t care; I didn’t care, I was going to get the weight off. I care a lot more about my body now.
And so, then of course, once I realized that my body was like this faithful servant that I was just beating the crap out of every day through dieting, through exercising, torturing myself with my words, with my attitude, with my perspective of my body. Then, a bunch of guilt and shame had to come out. I felt so ashamed and so guilty about doing this to my lovely body. And then, once I let go of that, I was able to start loving my body, which did not mean that I trusted my body fully. Because I loved my body, but when my body’s like, “Hey, do this.” I’m like, “Yeah, that didn’t work out in the past though.” My body’s like, “Yeah, but that’s because you just decided to do that; I wasn’t asking for it. There’s a big difference.”
And so, it took some time, working with my body, learning how to eat intuitively – which I did a couple of blog posts on, years and years ago – so that’s how long I’ve been doing that. And, I thought at the time, I had it. (I didn’t have it.) But the intuitive eating piece was kind of a big one, which meant that, instead of trying to determine what I should eat, I just started eating what my body asked me to.
One of the things that really helped me to learn how to do that was going through some detoxing. Now, I’m not saying that you have to detox; I’m telling you my journey. But, I used to be heavily into detoxing, I think it still a really good thing. Although, I was really hard-core about it. I wouldn’t recommend being so hard-core about it; there’s an easier way to do it. But, I’ve gone 35 days without food while working in the corporate environment. So, you want to tell me how fat people are weak again?! Haha!
So, I did some detoxing. What the detoxing does, the fasting does, it helps to reset you. And then, as you add food back in one at a time, you begin to really notice how that food affects you, how it makes you feel. And how certain foods, that you never noticed, make you feel like crap, or really tired; give you massive indigestion, or gas, or bloating, or pain.
And so, when something makes me feel like crap, and I notice that it makes me feel like crap, I have no problem staying away from it. So, that’s how my body was communicating with me at first. Just telling me, through sensations, through how it made me feel, and me starting to pay attention to how food made me feel. And going, “Well, that makes me feel like shit.” And so, I really got away from anything artificial, from anything – and I’m not saying those are bad foods, you have to listen to how it makes your body feel. If you can eat that, and there’s no detriment to you – fine. But, if you do feel like crap after you eat something, don’t just put up with that. So many people do! And, you’re like, “Oh, I always feel like crap after lunch.” Maybe, eat something different; maybe try something different. See if it’s, maybe that your body does not like that particular food. It’s a very, very personal connection.
So, there is no label that you can put on foods and say this is a good food, this is a bad food. It is all what works for you. It is about creating more and more awareness, and actually listening to your body.
The download on body-led weight loss
So, what does body-led weight loss look like?? Well, body-led weight loss looks like this: (because, I’ve lost weight many times in my life, but never like this). So, first of all; well, it’s easy. My body tells me what to eat; it tells me what it needs. Right now, it’s asking for as little food as possible, because it’s burning as much fat as possible. So, it’s kind of saying, don’t give us fuel, we’re getting the fuel from here.
I was a little bit worried at first about getting enough micronutrients, because I was only eating once a day – I still am. Sometimes, I don’t eat at all. I forgot to eat the other day, completely. I wasn’t hungry! And, at the end of the day, I went, “Did I eat today? I didn’t eat today. Mmm!” Didn’t need to, and I asked my body if it needed anything; it said no.
But, here’s the beauty of it, it’s easy. I eat when I’m hungry. And, I eat what I feel like eating. I realized that I didn’t even need to worry about the micronutrients, because my body would tell me if it needed something, and the only thing that it has asked for is magnesium. And, not even every day; it tells me when to take some, and how much to take. So, I’m able to just relax about it. I’m not exercising right now, because I’m not at all inspired to – so, fuck that! I eat when I’m hungry, and I eat what I want to eat.
My skin hasn’t suffered at all
My body’s losing weight everywhere at once. It has never done that, EVER. Always thighs last – thighs last – every time! Not this time!! Everywhere at once. There’s no creping of the skin; there’s no sagginess. Although, I can’t say that my body is completely perfect everywhere, but I can see how it’s very different from how it used to be. Even the sagginess that was there before, because I’ve always been quite firm everywhere, it’s even healing that. The last time that I lost a really significant amount of weight, I ended up with this really crepey skin on my stomach. Never like a big apron of skin, but everything was kind of squishy, and kind of crepey, and I had a lot of cellulite on my thighs. They just did not look right at all. This time that is not happening at all. At all! My skin is in amazing condition. I’m barely eating, and if a doctor was to look at this they’d be like, “Oh! You’re not eating enough calories. You’re not eating enough nutrition; you’re going to hurt yourself. My body knows what it’s doing. I’m not losing my hair; I haven’t experienced any hair loss. And, my body has absolutely guaranteed me that it won’t happen, because that was one of things that I was concerned about. “I’m not eating, am I going to lose my hair?” That’s not happening!!
That’s the beauty of it; I feel really good. I don’t have highs and lows in my energy from food. I do from energy work; that’s another layer in there that applies to me. But the beauty of it is, again, the weight is coming off everywhere, all at once; it’s coming off really well. My body knows how to burn this fat, it knows where to take it from. And, when you get really saggy skin, when you get that apron of skin – what that is from, is that there’s still a layer of fat that is attached underneath the skin, that has been detached from everything else. So basically, lost weight weird. The body took some weight from here, but didn’t take it by the skin, and then you’d have that saggy detached skin. Right? But, when the body is leading the weight loss, why would it do that?
The body’s also not going to lose weight in a way it’s going to make itself sick. Body-led weight loss, which is body wisdom! Right? It knows exactly how to do this, it knows what it needs; it knows what it doesn’t need from you. It’s so much more loving, and so much easier. There’s no forcing yourself to do anything. And so, that was a really big thing; that was probably the biggest thing.
How much you weigh has nothing to do with your food
The #2 thing, the second biggest thing, which was huge, and again, took me years to overcome. Because I was SO stubborn, so stubborn about this. Right? Was that: It has absolutely nothing to do with your food.
How much you weigh has nothing to do with your food.
Now, I’m not saying that calories don’t play a part, but far less than you think. And, that belief took me SO long to let go of. Even when I had it intellectually, I didn’t fully have it-have it. And, one of the things that really taught me (this is really horrible actually), but it really taught me this lesson, was: I was raw vegan – I was raw vegan for a long time, and I was vegan for a long time, and then I was vegetarian for a long time. But, part of that time I was raw vegan. Not because I was trying to lose weight, or anything, just because, I really felt like I wanted to be. Not out of principles, or anything, just my body was asking for that. And when my body started asking for something else, I got something else. But, I know now, it was a healing period I was going through. Because I’d done some real damage to my body, dieting. Like, real damage, and I was healing all of that. The raw vegan was a way for me to do that, so my body was telling me do this. And, I did.
But, while I was eating raw vegan, I was never eating more than 800-900 calories a day, because you just can’t. I actually measured it, because I wanted to know, because this happened: Over the course of two months, I gained 40 lbs. Like that! It just came on. Two months – 40 lbs. Now, given what I was eating, that shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have been able to happen. And no, I did not have a thyroid condition, and no, nothing like that. There was no scientific explanation for this having happened, it shouldn’t have happened; but it did. So, now what? Right? Of course, I threw a huge tantrum, but that’s where I really started to get the idea that this had nothing to do with food. And, here’s the dirty little secret that nobody tells you.
Why skinny people don’t get fat
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, who is a lovely, lovely gentleman named Mike. He has never had a weight problem; he’s been skinny all his life. Never had a problem with putting on excess weight. But, he used to overeat, like gangbusters. And, he said, “Oh my God! I would scarf food in, and it was way too much, and I was bloated and feeling bad. It just never turned into extra weight. But, here’s the thing: Skinny people overeat ALL THE TIME. It just doesn’t show up as weight, so they don’t get shamed for it. All this shame that fat people have around food, it is because society has decided that what you eat, determines your weight. And, you know what? It fucking doesn’t!! IT DOES NOT. Because -that is one tiny bit of a much larger equation.
Overeating isn’t healthy for skinny people either. They’re just not carrying it around on the outside. But, it’s not good for their bodies either, as my friend discovered. He started eating a lot less, now he’s actually listening to his body and healing himself on many levels. But, it just never showed up as excess weight. Showed up as indigestion, showed up as crappy energy, but never showed up as weight; so, he wasn’t shamed by society.
You see a skinny person, sitting there, scarfing three cheeseburgers; you’re probably going to be like, “Good for her! Look at her eat. You go girl.” We’re going to live vicariously through her. You see a fat woman, eating one cheeseburger – “That’s why she’s fat!” It’s the shame around food and exercise, and the idea that fat people have no willpower, and are weak. When they’re usually the strongest people that you know. Again, it takes a lot of strength to keep getting up, when you keep getting bowled over, and you have no support around you because everyone’s just like, “It’s your own damn fault that you’re fat.” Right?
Fat and overeating are a symptom not a cause
Fat is a symptom. Overeating is a symptom. Just because there’s a correlation, doesn’t mean that there’s a causation. And, just because you can torture some weight off of a person by depriving them of calories, does not mean they’ve actually lost weight. It means that they’re going to regain it. The second you take your eye off that ball, you’re going to regain that weight. And, you cannot bring up lifelong willpower. You cannot ever, not take your eye off of that. The second anything happens in your life, the second something happens to distract you – somebody in your family dies, some crisis comes up, the water heater breaks, a child needs braces, and now, you’ve you got to take a second job – you’re fucked; the weight’s back on. Because you can’t bring up that kind of strength; and you don’t have to. You don’t have to. It isn’t about the food.
Now, that doesn’t mean that food’s not important. Because, again, if you’re eating a bunch of stuff that is harming your body, you’re not doing yourself any favors. And you’re not leaving it a lot of energy to actually heal anything with it, because now, it’s got to deal with all that crap. So, it isn’t that food doesn’t play any role at all, but it isn’t about calories-in, calories-out. That has actually been scientifically proven now. So, anybody that still believes that, please educate yourself. This is such a hard belief to shift. It really is; it certainly was for me. But, I think that by putting out a video like this, maybe I can give some people out there, a little bit of hope that what they feel inside, the voice that’s inside of them saying that it isn’t about the food, it’s got to be about something else. Maybe I’ve been trying to do this for decades; maybe it’s about something else. Hopefully, that will give you a little bit of validation.
That’s one of the big things I had to let go of: shame around food, shame around exercise; just shame, shame about being fat.
Make peace with your body and change your beliefs
I know, this has been a really long video, but I’m trying to do my best to give you guys as much as I can here. So, again, you know, bottom-line is: This is body-led weight loss, which means that you have to make peace with your body, you have to make friends with your body; you have to learn to trust your body – that’s a process. You have to let go of all the beliefs you have around food and exercise, and about how weight loss actually happens. That was a big one for me.
And then of course, any beliefs that you have that make it important for you to be fat. Your fat might be about protecting you. It might be about making yourself less visible, because you’re hiding behind your fat. Which doesn’t make logical sense, but that’s the paradox. Right? It might be just – and it’s really, inherently – all fat is a stored energy. It’s physically stored energy; it’s also energetically stored energy, and for some reason you’re storing energy. Part of it can be that you’re just protecting yourself. Again, creating a layer, that you have some fears; that the fat is making you feel safer in some way. For example, if you’re a woman, you might have fears around men finding you attractive; that might be dangerous. But, if you’re fat, you won’t be found as attractive, according to your belief system. And, therefore, it makes you safer.
But also, backed-up energy can be about: I’m not allowing myself to step to the next level. I’m bringing in more energy than I’m pushing out. Or, I’m pushing out more energy than I’m bringing in. For those of you who are givers, who love to sacrifice yourself for others; a lot of you are going to have a weight problem, because you’re giving out more than you’re getting. You are creating an energy imbalance, and that can cause a storage of energy.
You have to do the energy work
There can be all kinds of reasons, and I can’t go into all of those beliefs here today, because they’re as varied as humans are. But, what it comes down to, is doing the energy work. And, you know what? It might seem slower in the get-go, because you don’t instantly start losing weight, although, you do, pretty much, start feeling better right away. But, it isn’t any slower, because the other way is: You lose a bit of weight; you regain it, plus some. You lose a bit of weight; you regain it, plus some. You lose a little bit of weight; you regain it, plus some. And so, how is that faster?? How is that faster? You’ve got to stop looking for the magic pill, and you’ve got to start doing the work. And, the real work is working on yourself. Facing the things in your life, setting boundaries, facing what you don’t like. Facing how you’ve been sacrificing yourself in ways that you don’t want to. Facing how you’ve been treating yourself.
I wasn’t treating myself very well at all. I was very, very willing, like I said; If you’d come to me and said, “We’re going to take ten years off your life, but you’ll be thin forever.” I would have taken that deal. I would have taken that deal. I did not care about myself enough to say, “No; we’re not doing that.” I didn’t care enough about myself to say, “I’m not going to damage myself, physically. I’m not going to damage my health in order to – fuck that!! Fuck, damage me; just make me lose weight.” I didn’t care.
That was a big part of the journey as well. Learning to care enough about myself to say: “Not at any cost! Not at any cost.” And, you might already be there, which means, that you’re well ahead of where I was when I really started, even consciously, started down this journey. But, it is about learning to trust your body. Learning to trust yourself; learning to treat yourself well, and to honor yourself. And, the more you do that, the more your body is going to be able to just release that weight; and do it without you even having to try.
I get emails all the time from people saying, “Oh my God! We had a coaching session, and in the last month, I dropped 20 lbs. Just like that; I didn’t even do anything.” And, I’m like, “Hmm; hmm.” And, then of course, I’d be like, “My clients are losing weight, why am I not losing weight?” And then, it just, sort of, happened.
Why I no longer weigh myself
I don’t know exactly how much weight I’ve lost now, because I had a little manifestation. I had a little inkling that, maybe I should stop weighing myself. Because, I found that I had just this tiny, little bit of trepidation before stepping on the scale, it gets real subtle. But, it was just this very subtle trepidation before getting on the scale, and I recognized it as this little, tiny lack of trust, and I thought, “Nah, it’s so tiny, and I want to know!!” So, I overrode it, and the next week, my scale broke. Just stopped working! It’s a digital scale; it just stopped working, and I got the message. I’m not going to fix it; I’m not going to repair it. So, unfortunately, I won’t be able to post, like, “I’ve lost this much weight now!” But, I want to say: “I don’t care! I don’t care.”
Oh, that’s another thing; I’m actually heavier than I look. I’ve been this weight before, and I was a lot bigger at this weight. I asked my body, I said, “What gives? Like, why am I heavier?” And, the body just chuckles at me and says, “What do you care what you weight?” And, I’m like, “I know, I know. I don’t care.” (I do a little bit still – I’m working on it; I’m working on it.) But, I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t really, but, you know, I still want to understand, like, why am I heavier?” And, my body says, “Because, we’re not getting rid of muscle mass or bone density.” And, I’m like, “Oh!” And he goes, “Normally, when you diet you’re getting rid of a lot of muscle mass and bone density, because you’re not losing weight in concurrence with the body, so it’s going to come from wherever. Right?” And, they said, “Do you know how much muscle it takes to carry around a body that size?” And, I’m like, “A lot?” And, it’s like, “Hmm; hmm! And, your bones are denser than they’ve ever been, and because of that, you are heavier at a smaller size, because we’re not getting rid of any of that.”
Oh, by the way, losing pure fat, I can see every 2 to 3 lbs; I can see them in the mirror. And, at my height, usually I could lose 10 lbs and not see it in the mirror. But, that’s because it wasn’t 10 lbs of fat. It was 10 lbs of all kinds of other crap, and some fat.
So, body-led weight loss is the way to go. I promise I will publish more information as I get more insights. And then, I can also build off of this video, since it’s already super-long. But this is the information that I could give you here today. Hopefully, it’s been helpful; let me know what you think down in the comments.
This was my really, really big one, and I’m ecstatic, but not quite ready to teach it at this moment. But hopefully soon, because it’s a big intention for me.
So, until next time, I’m going to send you big smooshy, smooshy, happy shiny puppy hugs. Bye.
Additional Weight Loss Blog Posts https://melodyfletcher.com/tag/weight/