Many of us are faced with the issues surrounding aging parents. Can the Law of Attraction help with this? Is there a way to feel better about the prospect of our parents declining? What if they’re muggles who we think would be so much better off if only they could “get” this stuff??
Watch as I coach one of my students through this potentially painful and heavy topic, and help her find a much more empowering perspective.
Hey, my happy shiny puppies, this is Melody Fletcher, your go-to for everything Law of Attraction and Reality Creation. And today, I’ve got a treat for you! What follows is an excerpt from one of our live Q&A calls, where people just like you, students just like you, were able to ask me questions, and I answered them. And today, you’re going to get one of those. And, as you see, in the coming weeks, we’re going to be rolling out more and more of these.
If you’d like the chance to be a part of one of these Q&A calls, for free, then stay until the end of the video, and I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that.
Alright, I’ll see you on the other side! Bye.
Caller – Ready?
Melody – Yes!
Caller – Ok! Alright, so, my elderly Muggle parents have health problems, including my mom is now losing her memory. So, my question has 2 parts. It’s, what, if anything, can we do to help our loved ones, towards a more positive progression? And 2, how do we maintain our happy shiny puppy vibration when we’re heartbroken about what is, and frustrated because we know it doesn’t have to be like this?
Melody – Ok! So, let me start with the second one first because that’s the overall view of how do you make it through, when somebody that you love is deteriorating, and is full of resistance? And, you understand that it doesn’t have to be like this. “If they would just let go of their resistance!”
Caller – Right.
Melody – This isn’t just a problem with seeing elderly parents this way; it’s a problem with seeing everyone this way.
Caller – Hmmm.
Melody – Because, if you’re in a situation where anyone in your life – it could be your child, it could be a friend, it could be somebody that you care about – your husband, could be your elderly parents – where they’re suffering, and they’re going through discomfort. I know discomfort is way too small a word for what elderly people often go through as they deteriorate. But, when somebody is going through that, it can be very, very difficult, because we wish that we could take it away. And then, we might even get really angry at our elderly parents, which can be shocking when a bunch of anger comes out, and you’re like, “Why am I angry? I love my mom, I love my dad. Or, I love my grandma, I love my grandpa. Right? But, I’m so angry at them because….”
What it is: is that you’re thinking, if they would just approach it differently, then they would be better off; then they would live longer, and then you would have more of them. And, this isn’t just with spiritual people. If you see your grandparents or your parents doing something that you consider irresponsible, and then the fear comes up that they might hurt themselves. And, we very quickly swap over into treating them like children. Which I warn against, because your parents and your grandparents are not children. They raised you; they lived through, probably, wars. They’re adults, who have been able to take care of themselves and you for a long time, and it’s not fair to suddenly regale them because they’re a little bit frail, down to talking to them like they’re kids, and trying to rules their lives like we’re their parents. We don’t have the right to do that.
But it’s a lot easier when you understand – and this is not an easy thing to understand. And, I know there’s going to be people who are listening to this who are going to go like, “WHAT! That sounds like bullshit!!” It all depends on where you’re at. But you have to understand that nothing is actually going wrong, that this is part of a much bigger journey.
We look at our lives as one lifetime. We’ve got 70, 80, 90,100 (if we’re lucky) years on this planet. It’s one lifetime, this is our entire journey, and that’s it. And, when you look at it like that, it’s very easy to start to despair about anything that didn’t quite go the way that you may have wanted it too. Or, at the end of your life, maybe there’s something you didn’t accomplish. Or particularly, when you’re looking at someone else’s life and trying to judge it from the outside. You go: “Oh, I wish they could have done that. Oh, would have been nice to do that”, even though you don’t really understand their experience.
And so, what you want to do is understand, #1, that there’s a much bigger journey here, and that this soul got precisely done as much as they could in this lifetime. They transmuted as much energy as they could. And maybe, they took on a big chunk-ass energy. And so, you might want to give them a little bit of credit for that. But also understand that they are a really powerful creator, and that they’re not actually going anywhere, they’re just changing form. And that can – when you really start to embody that, and you really start to understand that, that can bring up a great deal of peace where you can then honor your elderly parents, even if they’re Muggles. And, understand that in their human-form they might be Muggles, but in who they really are, they’re absolutely not; they’re masters. And, they came in – you think about it, I always tell you guys (I’m going to bring in a little bit from the course here), but I tell you guys that you’re gladiators.
And, that doesn’t mean that every human on this planet right now is a gladiator. Gladiators, for me, are the front runners; the ones who charge in, that do the big work. We’ve always come in to do the great work. We come in and take in as much as we can, and transmute as much as we can every single life time, every single life time; every single life time. We’re the aggressive ones; we’re the ones pushing the energy forward in a really aggressive manner, which means that we take on a lot.
Now, think about what it takes to be the parent of one those.
Caller – Ok!
Melody – You’ve got to come in before them. So, you’re coming in into an even denser energy. You might need to, by design, come in and be obtuse and be in the fog, to give you, dear gladiator, that something to push against, something to have to work yourself out of.
So, they’ve come in to be that starting point, by design. And, there was an agreement, so before you came, let’s say, let’s anthropomorphize it, let’s say that you were talking to them like that – we’re not physical there – but you communicated and said, “Ok! I’m going to need you to come in, and I’m going to need you to be abusive. I’m going to need you to kick my ass. I’m going to need you to not listen to me; I’m going to need you to ignore me. I’m going to need you to dismiss everything that I say. I’m going to need you to be super religious. I’m going to need you to be – whatever.” And they so loving said, “Yeah! We’ll do that for you. We will do that for you. We will come in and we will let you hate us.” Or, this might be too strong for your situation, but it’s another way of viewing what your parents are actually doing, how much of a partnership it actually is; and that nothing has gone wrong. And, that they did their job perfectly and beautifully; they did their job. Because, it helped you become who you are now.
And so, when you start to understand that you can more bless and honor them; and that’s really the energy that you want to be in as you deal with them as they’re declining, because you can’t stop that for them. You can’t manifest differently for them. And, you probably aren’t going to suddenly bring in enlightenment to them, where they’re like, “Oh, I understand how to use my body now.”
You really just want to have a good time with them. You don’t want to pity them. You don’t want to look down upon them. You want to see their power, and where they’re going. Because, every death is a birth. And, when a new baby gets born, we don’t go, “Ooh!” We go, “Yay! Baby.” Right?
So, if we understand that every death is a birth, then, we can also go, “Yay!” Right? Because, you’re being reborn. You’re being reborn. And, that’s not to say – we’re going to go down the rabbit hole a little bit – but I don’t want to say like, you die here, and then you’re reborn as another human; that happens whenever it happens. Because you can be in both places at the same time, it’s multi-dimensional. But the rebirth is so that you wake up. You wake up from this illusion and you wake up to who you really are, and who you really are is awesome – right – and happy, and doesn’t have any of these limitations, so why would you deny your mom that?
Caller – Hmmm.
Melody – Your mom or dad, right? And so, you really want to – you really want to look at them with – seeing their power and not seeing them as frail or weak, or something has gone wrong, and I wish that they had just accepted this information. They couldn’t; that wasn’t part of their path this time. But they did what they came to do.
Does that help?
Caller – Yeah! Actually, it helps enormously. I think I have to deal with my own sadness about that, but, yeah, that helps enormously.
Melody – And, you know, sadness will swap over into anger, obviously. So, those are the emotions that you have to release. But you cannot ask them to change so that you can feel better.
Caller – Right!
Melody – And, that’s often where people get stuck, because – “I wish my mom, my dad, blah, blah, blah, had done this, had done that, but they’re not going to and now I’m stuck; now I can’t feel better.” Instead of, “I can separate that, and I can express my emotions and just feel my emotions and let them out, and deal with them. But then, how do I view them so I don’t keep feeling that?”
Caller – Hmmm.
Melody – Because, there’s going to be grief. Do not think for one second that, no matter how much of this work you do, that you will be able to get rid of grief entirely. That your entire family could be decimated around you, and you’re like, “Yes, this is correct.” You’re not going to turn into a fucking robot. Nor, do you want to!!
So, when big things happen, you’re going to grieve. When somebody dies, you’re going to grieve. I want to send this message really strongly, because I feel like, in the last few years, the pharmaceutical industries have set this message that any kind of sadness is a dysfunction and should be medicated away. Any kind of negative emotion is a dysfunction and should be medicated away. It isn’t; it’s there for a reason. You’re going to be sad when someone dies. You’re going to grieve for a while. Months! At best months, possibly longer. If you know what you’re doing, could be shorter. You’re going to sometimes get really, really angry, and there’s a reason for that anger. You don’t have an anger management disorder. You don’t have a pharmaceutical deficiency. Our emotions are important, and they’re there to be felt. So, we have to give ourselves a chance to actually feel them, because there’s always a message in there, and there’s always purpose in there.
So, don’t think for one second, that as you do this work for a while, and you get really good at it, that you’re going to eradicate all negative emotion. You are not! You are going to be aware of your negative emotion. You’re going to know how to deal with it and let it out and heal it, but not that, “Oh no! I failed because I’m grieving.” Of course you’re grieving. I mean – it doesn’t have to be devastating any more, but the closer the person is to you that dies, the more that’s going to get triggered. And that’s not a failure on your part; that just something you have to accept – that, “Hey, it’s ok, for me to be sad.” Which is half of what this work is about really – hey, it’s ok for me to feel (insert blank here). Right?
Caller – Right! Ok, great. I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that nothing has gone wrong; and that they did their job. Ok!
Melody – They absolutely did.
Caller – Ok!
Look at you; you made it all the way to the end of the video!! Good for you!
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Thank you for bringing your light to the world.
Melody, “Nothing has gone wrong.” – you can’t say that too much!
I appreciate every time you point out that you ARE going to experience negative emotions, and that it will take some time to figure it out.
Melody, you’re so correct re the pharmaceutical industry seeing grief as a condition that needs to be medicated. I think this belief is quite prevalent in the society at large, that grief and negative emotions in general are something that should be squashed asap. Gawd forbid if you, in fact, decide to actually feel the emotion. That means you’re broken beyond repair!!111 [/sarcasm] I recall one excerpt from your book, where you mentioned that negative emotions in their pure and natural state aren’t nearly as explosive and all-encompassing. For instance, natural sadness feels more like a transient moment of melancholy and natural fear is more like reluctance (I’m not sure if these were the actual expressions you used in the book, but hopefully you get the gist). We should probably start a “Good Grief Movement”, in order to promote both the importance and the purpose of negative emotions and how to deal with them in a way that actually serves you. Oops, I went a bit off the tangent here, I guess it’s pretty clear that this subject is close to my heart 🙂
I’m saying thank you even before I watch this, because I need a better feeling perspective on the subject.