Awesome Joan wants to share her LOA knowledge and help others shift their energy. But some of the people she’s trying to help aren’t really fun to work with. In fact, they never seem to stop bitching or whining and they’re not getting better. What, if anything, is she doing wrong? And, how can she turn these manifestations of hers around so she can become the powerful, EFFECTIVE uplifter she wants to be?
If you’ve ever sacrificed yourself in order to “help” someone else, or if you feel guilt or shame around the idea of NOT helping someone in “need”, this video is definitely for you.
Hey, my happy shiny puppies, this is Melody Fletcher, your go-to for everything Law of Attraction and Reality Creation. And today, I’ve got a treat for you! What follows is an excerpt from one of our live Q&A calls, where people just like you, students just like you, were able to ask me questions, and I answered them. And today, you’re going to get one of those. And, as you’ll see in the coming weeks, we’re going to be rolling out more and more of these.
And, if you’d like the chance to be a part of one of these Q&A calls, for free, then stay until the end of the video, and I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that.
Alright, I’ll see you on the other side!
Melody – Yes!! Welcome Joan!
Caller – Thank you! Happy to be here! I just, this moment, told Tina that my questions had been answered. And, she said, think of another one – possibly, and I’m like – I can’t think of another one! Haha!! But, maybe, maybe there’s a bit more clarity, I don’t know, that I could get from this. I want to be an uplifter, I enjoy talking to people who want to talk about LOA, when they do. But I seem to attract people who want to go on and on about their problems. And, I don’t quite know what to do in that situation. Part of me thinks, don’t keep those people as your friends, and then part of me is like, but you want to be an uplifter, so how do you take responsibility for yourself?
Melody – Oh, there’s that word, responsibility!
Caller – For your own vibration.
Melody – What does it mean to you to be an uplifter?
Caller – I think, feeling free to talk about my own positive experience with LOA, and, well, I guess, help shift other people’s energy. But, that’s kind of my question; should I even want to do that, or is it better to just say, wow, they’re not there; I shouldn’t, you know?
Melody – Let me explain what it is you’re doing when you’re uplifting. And, this comes perfectly into the conversation that we had before about holding energy for people and not being able to control in their reality. Right?
Caller – Yeah! Yeah!!
Melody – So, when you are uplifting someone, what you’re essentially doing is: You’ve put up your hand voluntarily, and said, “Hey Universe! When someone’s ready to be uplifted, when they’re ready to manifest upliftment into their life, I would like to be the delivery mechanism; I would like to be the delivery girl for that please.
Caller – Ok!
Melody – And, the Universe goes, “Hey, hey Joan, we’ve got a person over here in your vicinity.” Kind of like, Tinder for uplifting!! Haha!
Caller – Haha!! Great analogy!
Melody – That was so fun, cool. Like Tinder felt good; I could have made it worse; I could have said Grindr!! Right? Yeah, but they’re uplifting. Right? Like, who in my vicinity is ready to be uplifted? Right? Because they’ve got to be up for it. Just like on Tinder and Grindr, and it’s their manifestation. You can’t manifest – you can’t go, “I shall uplift you, dear person, because you are in need of uplifting.” That is never, ever, ever going to work; which is when somebody comes to you and goes on, and on, and on about the same shit, different day that never shifts. It’s not fun for you. Then you ask yourself, “Well, am I not supposed to because, maybe I can make them feel better.” Is it happening? No!! Is it working? No!! Is it fun for you? No! Which means: This is not a situation where the Universe went, “Hey, I’ve got a person for you over here; perfect volunteer – volunteer, brought together; perfect match.” Now what you put up your hand up for is: “I’m not entirely certain that I get to say no to people and still be a good person, be an uplifter. So just bring me anybody who I think needs to be uplifted, whether it works out or not.” And, the Universe goes: “Ok, if that’s what you want to put in your profile to become a match to. I’m not going to stop you because you’re the boss of your reality.” You will get it. But, it’s also kind of like: You really like this, do you? You like that? Maybe, want to change that profile a little bit. Is this fun for you? This bitching and whining all over the place with nothing ever happening, is this fun for you? Is this what you want, or do you want something else? Because you get what you want. You don’t always get what you want; you get what you focus on; what you’re willing to put up with.
Caller – Yeah, yeah!
Melody – When you know how to do this, you get what you want because then you choose to focus on what you want and give yourself that.
And so, do not hesitate to walk away from somebody who is not fun for you because that is not what you want. It’s not that perfect alignment where you said, hey, someone is ready to be uplifted; this person is ready to be uplifted, you come together, you uplift them; you’re the delivery mechanism for their manifestation. It works out for both of you; you both have a great time. It feels really good. Hearts are open, wonderful, wonderful. That’s what you’re after; and that is not that.
Caller – Right, ok!
Melody – And so, you’ve got to get good at walking away from shit like that – and then once you’re good at working away from it, you don’t have to. So, the last time I had to do this, wasn’t hard because I was basically there. And I’m a helper from way back; I am a sacrificer. I used to pull my battle axe out and go onto the battlefield for you whether you asked me to, or not; whether you thanked me, or not. It was all my battle to fight, and everybody was weaker than me, and I was the only one who could handle it – it’s really arrogant actually. And I had to get in there and fight, and I had to help everybody. I had to pick up every stray I could find. My friends were not my friends; I was their friend, they were not my friend, they weren’t even capable of being a friend to anyone. And, that was my life for a long time. So, let that give you some hope knowing where I came from – which was really bad – to being able to set boundaries very well.
So, I was at a conference, and I was in a mastermind group, and there was a lady in the mastermind group who was, quite frankly, a little annoying. If I’m going to be honest, she was a little annoying. She was doing some kind of a business where it had to do with food, and she clearly hadn’t cleared any of her food issues. She was just controlling herself – white knuckling it. Right? And, just constantly eating and rustling and needed a lot of attention from everyone around her all the time. I had noticed this before, but I never really got anywhere near her. And, one day we were on break, and I go back and get a cup of tea, and she comes up to me, she goes: “Melody, you and I have never really talked!” And, I turned towards her, and it’s just a black hole; it is just a black hole. Nothing I say, or do for this woman is going to take any hold at all. It’s just a black hole. Not fun, so, for me, not fun, not fun, not fun. Warning bells going off; this is not going to be fun for you; this is a black hole. And, I looked at her, and I said: “I’m really sorry; I really have to go to the bathroom. It’s like an emergency at this point.” And, I start to walk away. She keeps talking to me. She’s like, “Yay, yay!! But….” Blah, blah, blah; blah. Right? And, just as I’m stepping away from her, I started laughing, and I’m like: “I’m really sorry, but I have to go to the bathroom.” She goes, “Yeah, I heard you!” And, I thought that was the funniest shit because in that moment, she was saying, “Yeah, I don’t care how you feel. I don’t care if you’re in pain. I don’t care if this is what you want, or not.” And, I did have to go to the bathroom; it wasn’t as big of an emergency as I was making out, but I did have to go the bathroom. I didn’t want to be rude because I wasn’t going to teach her anything, I wasn’t going to enlighten her. I wasn’t going to get her to become aware by me going, “Look, no!” Like, there was no point in any of that. So, I wasn’t going to be too honest about it, I was just going to be like, I’m just going to get away from you, using some excuse.
And, the beautiful part of it was, it was the last time I’ve ever had to do that. I haven’t had to do that since, because I’m very willing too. And here was a person that a few years before I would have stood there, I would have had dinner with her, I would have talked to her; I would have sacrificed myself for her. And, this was just, nope; you are not fun for me. Nope, you’re not going to hear a word I say. You’re not a good friend for me. You’re not a good anything, kind of partner for me. You’re not somebody I’m going to have fun with, in any way, shape, or form. And, you see, it becomes less about you needing to help people; there’s that responsibility and you simply wanting to engage with them in that way when it’s fun to do so. Which means, the timing is perfect, that person is ready for it. So, you can say, “Universe, I like to uplift, I volunteer to uplift those who are ready to be uplifted.” You could also say, “Universe, I love to do whatever activity….” Insert here – I was just going to make it really funny and sexual, but then I realized this is going to be public, so probably not!!
Caller – Haha!
Melody – Yeah, but it doesn’t have to be a worthy activity, is what I’m saying. Because it’s a worthy activity that helps others; it could be, “Universe, I love it when people throw pizza parties, and I always want to be invited to pizza parties. And I volunteer for that, whenever anybody has a pizza party, I would like to come. You know, we’re a match to that.” It’s not because it’s a valuable or worthy activity that it’s like this; it’s like this for everything. You’re volunteering for everything all the time, and now the question is, what do you want to volunteer for, and what you think you should volunteer for, or have to volunteer for, which has no merit at all. There’s no extra value in that, and usually less value because then the timing isn’t perfect, the alignment isn’t perfect. Now, it’s not fun for you which means it’s not benefiting anyone as much as you were hoping it would. When it’s perfectly aligned it’s easy, there’s no drama, and it benefits everyone much more so. Isn’t that a beautiful system that we have fucked up royally?
Caller – Yes! Well, Catholicism kind of helped!! That’s my background too with the nuns; the whole thing. So, yes!!
Melody – Haha! Yeah! Suffering is good. The more you suffer the more value you bring. It’s all screwy.
Caller – Yes!
Melody – It’s the better you feel, the more value you bring.
Caller – Yes!
Melody – And so, you’re putting up your hands and you’ll letting Universal Tinder – I’m going to use that all the time now – letting it orchestrate the match. And, when it’s a good match then you have fun, and when it’s not a good match you don’t have fun, and now it’s up to you to discern why you’re putting up with not a good match. Why are you willing to subject yourself to that? “Oh, because I thought I had too.” Oh, well, did it work? Has it ever worked? Have you ever fixed anyone’s life from that point of view? No!!
Caller – No!
Melody – It has just been frustrating and hard for you.
Caller – Hmmm!
Melody – Yeah? And so, it doesn’t work. This works! This works!!
Caller – Yeah! Fantastic; yeah!! Yeah, completely. Thank you.
Melody – So, you have full permission to basically tell people to fuck off.
Caller – Haha!!
Melody – That is that; you said that.
Caller – Haha! Yeah!! Thank you so much.
Melody – You’re welcome; you’re welcome. Thank you very much for playing.
Caller – Yeah!
Look at you; you made it all the way to the end of the video!! Good for you!
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Thank you for bringing your light to the world.
I was just having this conversation with someone the other day! Lots of clarification here. Thanks Melody!
Loved the metaphor Universal Tinder! Swipe left for a better match 😂.. this video brought up a question in me . There are certain activities that are generally considered valuable than others . For example if I spend my weekend doing a beach clean up I can get myself to feel good or rather I’m worthy of feeling good both in my own as well as society’s eyes . But instead if I spend my weekend binge watching Netflix or reading a book or may be watching fifty shades of grey (😉) I have done something unproductive, something not adding up to my growth or personal and emotional development and hence I can’t get to feel good about myself nor anybody else will feel good about me . Why is it that certain activities have some kinda worthiness tag attached to it while others are deemed unworthy ? Also , if you do happen to engage in these so called unworthy activities ( because u really wanted to or just for the fun of it ), why do you feel like proving yourself internally and sometimes even to others the reason behind it ?
I’ve been battling with something a bit similar myself, maybe my conclusions might be some help to you as well?
The first thing to remember, or course (and the easiest to forget, I’ve found) is that the “collectively accepted truths” you’re
questioning here are not truths at all, but beliefs. For example
“There are certain activities that are generally considered valuable than others . For example if I spend my weekend
doing a beach clean up I can get myself to feel good or rather I’m worthy of feeling good both in my own as well as society’s eyes”
is a belief you picked up somewhere along the way. This “generally considered valuable” doesn’t really exist, except for you. So your reality mirrors it back to you. That you only get to feel good or worthy if you engage in activities that have some sort of noble goal (in this case, personal development) or are of service to others. This is a very common and widespread belief.(On a side note, I’ve started to suspect that this particular belief has been planted by the rich and powerful to keep the peasants busy, lol).
But it’s still a belief, a filter if you may, and it can be shifted. You’ve already started the process of shifting it because you’re questioning the belief,
you’re starting to see it for what it is. Basically you’re asking if it’s ok to do things just because you feel like it. And the answer is not just yes, but rather, that’s the only reason why anyone ever does anything. Because we feel like it. We might feel like it because we feel pressured (I have to help others so I can feel better about myself, to prove that I’m worthy) because we’re scared (I have to work hard otherwise I’ll get fired and then what I’ll do, I have to lose weight otherwise I’ll never find a partner etc.) But in the end they’re all just filters directing our actions. I think that the purest state of being is doing things just because you felt like it, because it’s fun, because it makes you feel good. Because the less you need to rationalize your behaviour, the clearer your connection to Who you really are, the Source, the Universe, or whatever anyone likes to call it.
When you think you are at your least productive, doing things just because they feel good, you are really being at your most productive because you’re vibrating at a frequency that attracts more experiences that feel the same, and also bringing up possible resistance to be released, because your high vibration creates contrast that empasizes the remaining filters 🙂