These are volatile, uncertain times… Societal structures are breaking down more and more. Things are clearly changing. But how are we supposed to hold our energy during this time of chaos? And what will all this change lead to? How do we manage all the fear this brings up?
This week’s Q and A video is a little longer than normal, because such a huge question deserves a complete and thorough answer. So many of my students struggle with these big questions. After all, this “work” isn’t just about improving your own life, but about bringing more light to the planet. And so, we have to find an empowering perspective for all of it.
If you’ve been looking at the world and wondering how in the hell you’re supposed to keep your vibration up during all this chaos, today’s video is definitely for you.
Hey, my happy shiny puppies, this is Melody Fletcher, your go-to for everything Law of Attraction and Reality Creation. And today, I’ve got a treat for you! What follows is an excerpt from one of our live Q&A calls, where people just like you, students just like you, were able to ask me questions, and I answered them. And today, you’re going to get one of those. And, as you’ll see in the coming weeks, we’re going to be rolling out more and more of these.
And, if you’d like the chance to be a part of one of these Q&A calls, for free, then stay until the end of the video, and I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that.
Alright, I’ll see you on the other side!
Melody – Hi sweetheart; how are you?
Caller – I’m good, thank you. And, you’re on fire after 3 hours, ha-ha!
Melody – Has it been 3 hours!! Holy shit!!
Caller – Yeah! And you’re still there! So, my question – you’ve kind of touched on several different points before, and it goes back to holding energy, in the case that you’ve talked about before, for the planet. But, I’ve been hearing from different people in different areas, that 2019 and eventually the years before that – before and after that – are going to be years of the dissolution of the old structures, financial, political, very controlled structures are going to be dissolved, so they can come out the other side on a more balanced, more light society where we want to be. It’s the in-between time that can be a bitch, pardon the expression.
Melody – Oh my God; don’t you curse in my presence, honey!! I fucking hate that shit!!
Caller – Hehe!! Ok! My question is 2 parts: So, how can we, ourselves, get over our own fear, because it can be primal, and hold the space when we heal ourselves? We get in-line with the vision that we want to hold that’s strictly by itself. But, how do we do that also when we have jobs, we have obligations; everything in society seems to want to distract us from doing this kind of work? And, our attention is almost like it’s always out of the body, so we don’t even realize that we’re feeling anxious, we’re feeling afraid, that we have something to work on or release or integrate. How do we do that on a consistent basis instead of checking out?
Melody – So, can you put the two things that you said together for me, because you’re asking about the world and how the world, the in-between time that scares you, and what’s the real question here?
Caller – So, the question and how we see that this world change is going to be…
Melody – Ok, but I’m not hearing your real question yet. That’s what I’m telling you. I’m not feeling your real question yet. What’s your real question, Isabelle?
Caller – How do I maintain my balance, my own – yeah, balance is probably the best word that I can get through the changes and keep on working on myself every time that something comes up, like the fear, instead of being distracted by various things and avoiding it.
Melody – Well, so, I’m going to answer the second part first, as I usually do, I’m noticing that. The key is: #1, without getting too militant about it, we’ve already talked about that earlier. Not getting too militant about it, not turning it into an obligation, not turning it into something you have to do every day. Is that, really, on a regular basis, you make, you prioritize this, you make some time for yourself where you can just sit, and think, and feel, and notice things. Because, in modern day life it can get really hectic, and we can use a lot of distraction, and then, before we know it we’ve been working for 3 months, and we haven’t had a day off, we haven’t had a moment to ourselves, and even when we do we just sleep, and we rest, and watch Netflix. And, there’s you know, there’s no real time to just slow everything down and pay attention.
Now, you can do that as a meditation practice, you can do that just 5 minutes by yourself in the evening, sitting and enjoying for 5 minutes. It could be your drive to work; your commute to work. You could be sitting on the train and just thinking and feeling. You can fit it in. Even as a busy person you can fit that shit in. But you’ve got to be prioritizing it; you’ve got to make it a priority that you take some time for yourself every day. And then, that will grow as it starts to benefit you. You start to go: “Well, 5 minutes here, I think I can do 15 minutes a day. This is important to me. Every night, I love my little 15 minutes time slot.” Or whatever!
Or, it might not be daily, it might be weekly, that every Saturday morning is your hour to sit, and feel, and think. So, you fit it in, in a way that works for you. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. But it really comes down to you making it a priority and working out how to fit it into your schedule.
And, that’s how you practice awareness. It doesn’t right away have to be a 24/7 thing; it isn’t going to be. But you start bringing that more into your life, in the way that you can do, and the way that works for you, because if it doesn’t work for you, you’re not going to do it. You can be all militant about it, and be like: “I’m going to do this – 15 minutes every morning.” And then, you don’t because shit gets in the way. And so, you figure out a way to do it for you that really works. So, maybe it’s not daily, it’s weekly, but maybe it’s a little bit of a longer session weekly. Maybe, you give yourself an hour every Saturday or Sunday morning, and that’s your time. And, you just sit there with your cup of tea, and you do not read, you do not do anything that – well, you can do things like, maybe drawing or doodling if you need to keep the left side of the brain a little bit more occupied. And then, you can do that, but don’t do anything that requires real mental activity.
So, you wouldn’t want to be reading or watching a television show. Just like, look at nature, or sit with your thoughts. And, the more uncomfortable that is for you, the more you need to do it. If 3 seconds – a lot of people – 3 seconds of sitting with their own thoughts, they’re like, whipping their phone out, they’re like, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” They’ve got to distract, distract, distract. Right? Just sitting by themselves is like a terror for them. Right? It would be a nightmare. And, the more comfortable that is for you, the easier it will be for you to do. But then, it also means that you’re probably a lot more allowing in-between those times. Where you’re much more comfortable letting things come up.
But, that’s, sort of, the second part of your question, how do you fit this in? Because, you always have to remember it comes down to what you’re choosing. What you’re choosing to prioritize, what you’re choosing to focus on, what you’re choosing to believe even. “And, do I want to choose to believe this, or do I want to choose to believe that? We don’t think that beliefs are choices, but they are; they’re automated choices. That’s all a belief is, is an automated decision that you’ve made often enough to become automated. And, that’s what your brain does, it automates these things. It automates everything. It’s actually a good thing that it does that. You want it to automate because, otherwise, it would be difficult to live your life. And most of that stuff’s never a problem, it’s just when something becomes a problem, and it becomes a limitation that we want to go and re-program it.
And so, how do I see this transition in the world as it’s happening right now? So, first of all, you’re never going to hear any kind of doom and gloom from me, because I don’t see it that way. Yes, the old systems will crumble, and they will crumble slowly, and they will crumble much more slowly than most of us would like. But what is also already happening is that the new systems are already being birthed. People are already coming up with solutions. So, by the time those old systems crumble, the new systems will be there to catch it. And, that’s what I’m focusing on. It is not a total disintegration and then a wasteland, and then hopefully, one little green plant fights its way through the rubble, and then 100 years later we have a forest again. We can let the new growth come in before the old growth disappears. So, the transition doesn’t have to be so harsh and hard. But you are going to see a lot of chaos; you are going to see a lot of fighting, because change means chaos. You’re going to see a lot of fighting, you’re going to see a lot of anger, you going to see a lot of – and, this is good, this is people’s powerlessness coming out.
So, just like, in your own life when you start to wake up, it’s a bitch. Things are confusing, things are weird. Negative emotion – “Arrrh, I don’t know how to do it.” Anger comes up, rage, and then despair, and then frustration. And we go through all those growing pains – well, the world is doing the same thing. So, you’re going to see it, and you’re already seeing it, there’s a lot of volatility. Well, that’s a good thing; it’s a really good thing that, that is happening.
And, I’ve been saying to some of my clients lately, some of my students as well, I love Donald Trump!! I absolutely adore Donald Trump. I didn’t, always; took me a little while, but I absolutely adore him because he will not stop poking at people. He such a catalyst; he will not back down. And, he is like Teflon; nothing sticks to him. He doesn’t give a shit if he stepped on your toes or your wiener, or any other part of your body. He doesn’t care!! And, he just won’t quit, and people can’t ignore this anymore; they can’t put their heads down in the sand. We’re having conservation about things that we never dared talk about before. This is all very necessary. It’s all bringing up – it’s not what we wanted, but it’s what we needed. And, it’s all bringing up a bunch of crap that has never really been addressed. And, it’s not pretty, but it’s necessary and it’s valuable. And, you can watch new systems already being born, they’re not yet taking over, but the old systems are becoming less and less effective. And, you’re going to see a swap-over as people start to go: “This really isn’t working anymore. It never really worked; why don’t we just do this?”
Now, why don’t we do that right now? Because, we already have solutions. It’s because there’s still too much of a fog, and there’s still too many people who are so afraid of change that they’d rather go with the devil they know, then anything possibly different. Because they cannot imagine that it might be better. Not yet! But, they will; this is a process that’s happening. And also, always remember that you – you are not beholden to anyone else’s reality; you don’t have to wait for the masses to catch up before you can enter into a beautiful world. You are responsible for your own individual reality, and nothing else. And so, don’t require the world to catch up or get to a certain level before you can enter into a beautiful reality. You just focus on yourself and they’ll come with you. So, don’t look at them as an obstacle. That helps a lot to not get angry at the world, if you don’t look at them as an obstacle.
Caller – No, I’m not angry at the world, I’m not seeing anyone as an obstacle, but I might be very well, very probably be one of those people who are afraid of change. So, any suggestions to actually navigate that better in a more smooth way?
Melody – Yeah, consider the idea that the change is going to be positive.
Caller – That’s easy.
Melody – That’s it – no; it’s such a simple fix and so, like, logical, and people don’t do it. Because, the only reason you’re afraid of change is because you think it’s going to be worse than what you have. Right? And, that can be a pervasive belief; that can be so ingrained, and so automated. But, really, what you want to challenge yourself to do is to go: “Well, what if it’s a good change?” And then: “What if it’s a good change? What if….” And, just hold onto that; bang that drum for a little while until your mind – and it will do it – until your mind stops arguing, and goes: “Well, that would be good!” It will have a little bit of a fight, usually takes about 30 seconds; we’re not talking about years here. About 30 seconds, and then, your brain will stop fighting you, and will go: “Well, that’s….” It’ll start to get on board; it wants to answer that question. And, you do that more often you’re building your neural pathways. I mean, there’s a physical component, a bio-physical component to this as well, and a neurological component. And so, what happens is that your brain’s starts to use this neural pathway; your energy supports that. It all works together.
So, it takes a little while to get off that old train and get onto a new one. But not months and years; a little moment of discomfort where you’re like, Arrrh, arrrh, arrrh!” And, the uncomfortable part is the chaos in-between, because in that in-between you don’t know. You don’t know anything. “I don’t know this; I don’t know.” You have no certainty. It’s uncomfortable. The more comfortable you can be with that, the easier every transition will be. Where you just go: “I don’t know; I don’t need to know. Right now, I don’t know; I will know.”
And so, and, it’s uncomfortable for people, but you have to consider the idea and start to train yourself to consider the idea more often that this change might be better not worse. What if it’s better? Because then, what’s the point of being afraid? Right? Because, if you go to Disneyland, and you’ve never been to Disneyland; you know, how afraid are you walking into Disneyland? Probably not that nervous! Now, if you have super social anxiety, maybe you are. But, let’s consider that you don’t. And, you’re just going to Disneyland or you’re going to your favorite, or not your favorite restaurant, but your favorite type of restaurant, but a restaurant you’ve never gone to, but, you know, let’s say, you love Thai food and this is a fantastic Thai place, and you go there, and are you afraid, or are you more anticipating something good? Right? Because if you have a reason to believe that what’s about to happen is going to be fun for you, good for you, tasty, you know, delicious in some way, then, you’re not afraid.
But, if your child’s principal calls you to school, you’re probably feeling some dread because you’re thinking, “Oh God! What happened; what did he do? Oh shit; what went wrong now.” Right?
The same thing is if, you know, your husband says to you, “I can’t wait until you come home!” Or you get a text from him going, “We have to talk.” Right? Two different feelings based on what your expectation is of what’s about to happen. Even though, you might get home and he’s says, “We have to talk about the refrigerator. It’s not working anymore and I want to buy a new one.” And, you’re like, “I thought you was going to divorce me. Jesus Christ!!” But, you see, it has nothing to do with the truth. It has nothing to do with what’s actually happening. But, you’re expectation, your assumption of what was about to happen changes how you feel about it.
So, if something’s happening, and you’re not sure if it’s going to go well, and you don’t know what it is, and now, you’re afraid of that change, ask yourself, “How do I know it’s going to be bad? That’s a fiction; that’s a fictional story. I don’t know how it’s going to work out. So, what if I’m, so, I’m just making myself feel bad for the sake of making myself feel bad now? Why don’t I tell myself a fictitious story that actually feels good?”
When you start to understand energy, you know that you are actually much more likely to get the good outcome now, because you’ve decided to line up with it, and except it, and invite it in rather than the negative outcome. But this is how you get rid of the fear of change. And, you also can start to replay some of the times in your life when you were afraid of something happening, but it turned out well. It’s like, “Oh wow, I didn’t have to be so afraid because it turned out well. Change can be good. Change is often good. Change is very often very good. What if I wanted more good change? How do I start qualifying it? I don’t like change – I like good change, I like good change. I like positive change. And, we start calling all good change positive change.” Right? Or, at least, potentially positive change, if we’re not sure. That would change a lot, wouldn’t it? That would make a real difference.
So, that’s what you do. You challenge yourself to see change as a good thing. I see change as a good thing. Doesn’t mean it never scares me. Sometimes it scares me because I’m going into unknown territory. I don’t let that fear stop me. It’s not terror, it’s just nervousness. And, quite frankly, at this point, if I’m not just a little bit nervous, I’m not leaping far enough ahead. I’m like, this is comfortable – nah, let’s take a bigger step. When you move out of your comfort zone, you are by definition going to be uncomfortable. Not in pain, not suffering, just uncomfortable. Just a little unsure, and a little, “I don’t know about this.” But, that’s new territory.
And so, how do you get rid of the fear of change? You see change as a positive thing. You challenge yourself to see change – you look for evidence that change is positive. You ask yourself, what if questions. “What if it’s going to be good? What if it actually works out?” Until, your brain starts to accept that to some degree.
Caller – Yeah, so it’s a matter of just being comfortable with a momentary discomfort, and keep on re-routing? Change can be good; change can be good. I’m making up stuff, might as well be make up the stuff that I want.
Melody – Exactly!
Caller – And, that’s in line with the version that you share that we are already putting the solutions in place, and whenever something needs to be resolved we already have the answers.
Melody – Yeah! Not so hard, is it?
Caller – No, yes, well – in theory the emotional part is a little trickier!
Melody – It’s a little trickier, that’s why I said there’s a big difference between talking about it and doing it. I said that earlier. And so, I don’t want to ever discredit anybody’s work, and the efforts that they’ve made, and kind of say, “Oh, this is easy!” But I also want to point out – because a lot of times, it’s not. But I also want to point out, it’s not brain surgery. It’s not coal mining. We sat here for a few minutes and talked about something. And then, maybe you go and sit with a little anxiety for a few minutes, and it pops, and you get more clarity, and you shift it. And, you’re like, “Ok! Was that really that hard? No, not once I sat down to actually do it, it wasn’t. Maybe, it was hard before when I was arguing about it, but, no, actually it wasn’t.”
And, I point that out to my students and clients all the time, that, you know, we just shifted a shit ton of energy, you feel so much better. Was it hard? No, it really wasn’t that hard in the grand scheme of things. Because, we tend to be like: “Oh God, this is going to be so hard. It’s going to be….” No it isn’t! No it isn’t. You’ve put up with way more suffering than that in an attempt to avoid discomfort than how uncomfortable it actually gets. The avoidance of it is always worse than the thing itself.
Caller – Absolutely! Well, that answers it completely, so thank you very much.
Melody – Good! Good. Thank you Isabelle, it’s great talking to you.
Look at you; you made it all the way to the end of the video!! Good for you!
So, if you’d like a chance to be part of these Q&A calls that we do, for free, then all you have to do is get onto my email list. People on my email list get free gifts like this. In fact, I’ll even give you another free gift for getting onto my email list, which changes periodically, so I’m not going to tell you what it is, so I can just change it, but just check the description down below, get onto my email list, get your valuable free gift, and you will be invited to take part in one of these Q&A calls yourself, where you can ask me whatever you want.
Sound like a good deal? I think so!!
So, sign up now; get invited to a Q&A call, and get your own answers. Until then, enjoy the videos every week.
Thank you for bringing your light to the world.
“There are still so many fields of work which people are “removed” from because they were innovative and courageous enough to offer alternative solutions.” – SO very well stated Laura, thank you! I’ve noticed this very same thing too, especially in the fields of social work, healthcare, and teaching. I’ve often had my share of flack if I happened to question some protocols or attitudes, especially the tendency to treat the students or the people looking for help as “in need of fixing”. On the other hand, many of the most compassionate and progressive people I’ve encountered have worked exactly in these fields. I worked as a youth leader in a local Junior High School some years ago and there was this mathematics teacher who was – and quite certainly still is – one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. Sometimes I still cry before bed because I miss him so much…Anyway, I absolutely think it is a good thing these industries are starting to change too and that there are already so many sympathetic and open-minded individuals who work in these fields. I am more of an independent Camel Boots Lady type, so starting my own business would serve me the best but, I definitely do not regret the years I spent in youth work, teaching and counseling 🙂
I am glad you pereceive things so positively from the sidelines. I already operate in my own business and I can assure you that it is actually not as honkey-dory as people on the outside may think. Facilitating change is the world is oftentimes fought over, with brave people sacrificing a lot to make it happen so that you perceive the systems to magically change.
But I guess my question is not going to be answered here, maybe because it does not fit the positive narrative.
“But I guess my question is not going to be answered here, maybe because it does not fit the positive narrative.”
This isn’t even remotely true.
Brilliant, Melody! Thank you both for discussing this.
Like you both mentioned though, there are still a lot of people – if not the majority – who resist change and make it very hard for others who want to submit creative ideas or answers. There are still so many fields of work which people are “removed” from because they were innovative and courageous enough to offer alternative solutions. Like Lady R said, there is the asking and the growing demand for answers, yet I feel that the supply is oftentimes stifled and suppressed. Belonging to the latter group can make life very miserable. I sometimes feel like I am waiting for the world to catch up so I will be safe to work and express myself. (I know it does not work this way)
How do we deal with this situation in these transitional times as someone who has always worked on the ‘new systems’ and was thwarted in implementing them?
I guess what my question really geared towards is how to step into this new personal ‘positive’ reality when there are assholes who are still making it super hard for you practically to remain there and facilitate the change. Whereas Isabelle was asking about how to go about it emotionally, there are a lot of people who need to also navigate this on practical terms since they have been waiting for the masses to finally wake up to the alternatives, nevermind implementing them. This is where I am having a hard time keeping up all the hope and positivity.
Why push against something that’s not working out? Find people who believe in you and your methods. Do you believe they’re not out there? Do you also give up easily and/or keep trying on the same types of unaccepting people? There’s also something to be said about being socially savvy and understanding how to convince people of something. However, the people that will be convinced are those that have the seed already planted in them, rather than the straight up assholes you speak of.
Thank you so much for this video and your, as always, insightful and uplifting perspective! I sometimes let myself get caught up a bit much in the daily news of “political stuff” going on, and the apparently unprecedented level of vitriol being pushed around by Trump. And you are so spot on that we can certainly choose to tell an uplifting story when we are telling the story of how all this stuff will play out! Hugs! John
Hi Melody & Isabelle, thank you for your great conversation! I think I’ve been talking about this in this blog before, but I can definitely see that the muck is about to come up to be dealt with and it is a good thing. Your conversation inspired me to share some thoughts about a somewhat recent phenomenon, so hopefully you won’t mind 🙂
I am talking about the increasing phenomenon of true crime podcasts and documentaries. Now, I must say I’ve been a true crime buff since age 6 – yes, you read that correctly, I actually learnt to read by age 4, thanks to my parents who are both avid readers hence read to me a lot already when I was an infant. Anyway, since I was a small child, I was always very interested in the darker side of human existence and why people actually commit bad and hurtful things to each other. I grew up pretty sheltered and my concerns were often met with laughter, so that’s why I learnt to hide them. That didn’t do any good for me at all.
Nonetheless, I’ve noticed that the true crime “phenomenon” has tremendously rised in the last couple of years. Yes, I am very well aware there are some unsavory characters in the scene who treat the memory of the victims in a quite disrespectful manner and may be in a lookout for people they’d like to victimize. But the overall vibe I’m getting is that people want answers. People want to discuss these things and not sweep them under the rug anymore. People want to find solutions to why someone just goes missing by their own free will, or commits a familicide out of the blue. People are ready to bring these things out in the open, and this is exactly something that raises their vibrations. Being all hush-hush just isn’t going to make it anymore.