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#109 Feeling Sexy, Desirable and Beautiful When the World Tells You You’re Not


This call started off with the client asking how she can rev up her husband’s sex drive, but ended up turning to the bigger topic of how to feel sexy and beautiful when other people (even your husband) won’t validate that you are. We talked about body insecurities, what causes us to feel sexy and what actually leads to other people finding us desirable. I think every woman old enough to have and enjoy sex should have this information. Take back the power over how you feel about yourself, and allow the Universe to mirror back your awesomeness and yes, sexiness to you. This call will tell you how.

Bowchicabowow. Ha.

Topics covered on this call

  • Her husband and she are great friends and love each other dearly, but his sex drive has sharply decreased over the years
  • She’s tried everything to light his fire again, but nothing has worked so far
  • Why her sex life is not as dependent on him as she thinks it is, and whom she should focus on instead (no, not a lover)
  • Why trying to entice him into being more turned on hasn’t and will never work
  • The difference between feeling horny and feeling sexy (it’s an important distinction)
  • Why it’s not her husband’s job to make her feel sexy (yes really.) And how letting go of that idea sets you free
  • When her husband caught her flirting with someone from Craigslist, their sex life briefly turned around. Why? And why didn’t the turnaround last?
  • Why another flirtation didn’t have the same result, and actually backfired. What was the difference between these two events?
  • Why having an affair is generally not going to fix these kinds of situations (it has nothing to do with morals)
  • How to feel much sexier, without feeling needy
  • Why being desirable has nothing to do with how attractive you are
  • Why feeling really sexy won’t lead to you feeling arrogant
  • How to detach from something you want SOOOOOOO much (any desire), and why it can be so hard to shift beliefs around our strongest desires
  • How wanting sex and wanting money are the same
  • She’s always felt self-conscious about her small boobs. How can she feel good about herself with her current body?
  • How to selectively view media (if you must view it) so you can feel good about yourself in today’s world
  • How much influence does the beauty industry have over us, and how can we change that?