As most of you are aware of, the host on which my blog sits got hacked this week. If you tried to get your LOA fix on Sunday, instead of pure awesomeness and possibly a hilarious image (I realize that’s subjective, but they amuse me), you saw what basically amounted to a message stating “Neener, neener. I got you. Signed, the Bangladeshi hacker.” As one reader pointed out, it was noteworthy how patriotic this particular hacker was. “Do not confuse me with the Switzerland hacker.” Yes, I’m aware that there aren’t all that many Switzerland hackers. It seemed like a safe country to name (because Swiss people are super, SUPER nice and gorgeous. All of them. I mean it. They’re stunning, ok?). I don’t want to inadvertently challenge some hacker out there, and end up being tackled and beaten with a rubber hose by Homeland Security the next time I’m at the airport because my name somehow ended up on some “Most likely to have heroin balloons and kiddie porn stuck up their bum” list.

Now, some of you may have naturally wondered, how in God’s green earth someone who is supposed to have this manifesting stuff down pat, could possibly be hacked. I mean, what the hell Universe, right? Yeah, I wondered that too, right around the time that I was trying really hard not to freak out. My blog is my baby. And someone hacked my baby. Ok, someone hacked the house my baby lives in, or actually more like the city my baby lives in, but still. Someone sort of, in a roundabout way, f%&ed with my baby, dammit. And knowing that it was my vibration that somehow attracted this didn’t make it any better. In fact, it annoyed me all the more. For about an hour. Then, I came to my senses.

I had a couple of advantages going for me:

1. I’m currently visiting my family in Idaho, and my sister, who is just as intuitive as I am, KNEW that all was well, even though she didn’t have a clue as to how extensive the hacking was or how much damage was done. She knew that there was no way that my vibration, high as it generally is, would attract any real damage. So for that hour, when I was trying to find that knowing, but wasn’t quite there, she held that space for me, which allowed me to get back there faster. My family is pretty freaking awesome.
2. My sister has kids – two little adorable boys, who are still young enough so that you really have to watch your language around them. I couldn’t totally wig out and try out some of my most creative curse words. I had to stay strong. For the children.
3. I do have a really good grasp on this LOA stuff. I know how to shift my perspective, and so as soon as I was able to get a grip on my emotions (talk myself off the proverbial ledge), I used the techniques I subject my clients to, to allow myself to drift back up into my happy place. Relatively speaking, an hour really isn’t all that shabby.

How could this happen to ME?

Before I continue, I know that some of you are looking at me all judgmental like, with one eye all squinty and one eyebrow raised. Stop that. It’s not a good look on you. If you’re thinking “If Melody still has annoying crap happen to her, then maybe she’s not the expert we thought she was?” Or possibly, you’ve just gotten all depressed, because you have more faith in me than those judgy people, but are thinking “If Melody, with all her awesome wisdom can still have annoying crap happen to her, then what hope is there for me?” Both of you, Mr. Judgy and Mr. Depressed are going to have to snap out of it. Let me reiterate what I said in the Broken Water Heater Story:

1. Just because I have a clear understanding of how we manifest our reality, doesn’t mean I’m the perfect manifestor. There are people out there who are much better at this than I am. They can’t necessarily explain to you how they manifest anything, but they do it easily and naturally. There’s a difference between Tiger Woods and Tiger Woods’ coach. I’m the coach y’all.
2. Everyone has their own crap. Everyone has some limiting beliefs, some thoughts that don’t serve them, some negative emotions. Even me. If I didn’t, I’d be completely enlightened, and levitating on some Caribbean island, while some shirtless beefcake brought me drinks with umbrellas in them. Only I wouldn’t care, because I’d be so beyond that. And none of you would have access to me, because my vibration would only allow those who were also totally enlightened to even find me. In other words, those who really wouldn’t need any more awesome wisdom. So the fact that I still have some crap to work out is a good thing. I’m doing this for you, really. You’re welcome.

So, if you’re ready to stop judging me or feeling sorry for yourself, or if you’re neither of those and just want to know what the heck happened, here it is:

The pattern

Whenever I have an unwanted manifestation, it means that I’ve been ignoring some negative emotion. I’ve had some lower frequency stuck in my energy body, which I haven’t been paying attention to. It happens to the best of us. We get busy, the emotion is incredibly subtle, or we deem it irrational. For whatever reason, we don’t pay attention and then it gets bigger. That’s what happened here.

But this means that by the time there’s a manifestation, especially one big enough to involve other people (in this case, my readers), there have been other manifestations that preceded it. The Universe doesn’t just slap you in the back of the head all willy-nilly to get your attention. First it whispers, then it calls to you, then it yells, then it nudges and THEN it slaps you. After that it punches you and then it gets the blowtorch and pliers and gets medieval on your ass (Bonus points if you can name the movie that’s from). So, when something unwanted happens, if you look back, you’ll always be able to see a pattern of some sort that led up to this event. This pattern will be of events that were very similar to what just happened, or they will have felt the same.

So, my first step in answering the “Why ME?!?!” question, was to find the pattern. And it emerged pretty quickly. I’d been having computer problems for the last few days. Nothing serious, just annoying little crap, but it was not to be missed (and yet, like a doofus, I had missed it…)

Ooh, look! Another list!

1. I’d had some internet issues, which had made it difficult but not impossible to access my site and work. This annoyed me.
2. One of my email providers made some changes on the server to heighten security, but failed to tell me. So I suddenly wasn’t able to send any emails from that account, but didn’t realize it right away (stuff just got stuck in my Outbox). I eventually figured it out, but it was annoying.
3. One of my wonderful, awesome readers sent me an email that I never received. He was kind enough to resend it when I didn’t reply (I always reply), and no harm was done, but I pride myself on being available for my peeps, so this annoyed me.
4. My little Netbook, which I love because it’s so teensy and light and fantastic for travel, turned out to be too wimpy to be able to support a Skype connection. So, I can’t talk to any of my peeps while I’m away from home. Because I don’t yet do online coaching (I’m considering it, in an effort to make my business more and more mobile), that doesn’t really affect my business. It’s just annoying.
5. The server on which my blog resides got hacked, leaving hundreds without their thrice weekly LOA fix (and I like to think, causing panic in the streets). Only, no real damage was actually done. The hacker didn’t install a virus or worm or Trojan horse or wipe all the data off the servers. He basically just proved he could get in and replaced everyone’s homepage with his calling card. As far as hackers go, one must acknowledge that this one was actually quite nice. You know, relatively speaking. It’s like a serial killer breaking into your home, giving you a bad haircut and leaving. You kind of have to be thankful that he didn’t do more damage, because he totally could have. My host restored my homepage within about two hours of me figuring out what had happened (because I’m not a morning person, I didn’t find out until about 10 a.m. And by then the techie team was already diligently working on restoring peace to my little Universe). So really, aside from having a few emails to reply to (from concerned readers wanting to give me a heads up and express their outrage on my behalf, which, if you think about it, is one hell of an awesome manifestation!!), I wasn’t even really inconvenienced. I was, well, severely annoyed.

Do we see a pattern boys and girls? Yeah we do. I was continuously manifesting annoying incidents that involved my computer and my ability to work remotely.

The FEAR. Buwahahahahaha

Once I established the pattern, it was pretty easy to figure out what the underlying cause was. I used a complex mathematical equation, that no one but me and an idiot savant named Bubba living in the mountainous regions of West Virginia can understand, to establish that I had an underlying fear of not being able to truly conduct my “bidness” while travelling. Also, my older sister, who is also a card carrying member of the “Tell it Like It Is” club, looked at me and said “You have a fear that you can’t work remotely.” She may also have inserted the word “dingwad” in there somewhere. Yeah. It’s like we were separated at birth. By four years.

My point is, it was pretty obvious in hindsight (the most annoying kind of sight). I’d always dreamed of working for myself, but didn’t want to be tied down to a location. I had visions of laying in a hammock somewhere, working as much or as little as I wanted, using only my laptop, while some shirtless beefcake brought me drinks with umbrellas in them. I wanted the Tim Ferriss* lifestyle. And I’ve done my best to implement that. I don’t yet have the Tim Ferriss millions (I keep asking him to send me some, but so far he’s ignored me), but I’m definitely pretty mobile. Only, there was obviously a part of me, unbeknownst to the rest of me, that didn’t quite think that this remote lifestyle would really work. What if I lost internet access? That’s happened. I and my site survived. What if some of the configurations I’d so carefully set up before leaving home were lost? Check. I’m technically savvy enough to figure it out. What if I, gulp, got hacked? Done and done. The world didn’t end and my readers still love me. In fact, instead of hating me for the inconvenience, y’all rallied in support (and, I like to think, formed a lynching mob to go after the hacker, deterred only by the fact that Bangladesh is kind of a long ways away, and you wouldn’t be back in time to pick the kids up from soccer practice. But you totally wanted to. So you told all your friends about this blog, instead. I like to think that. And they say that it’s the thought that counts, right? My logic may be flawed, but it makes me giggle.)

Lessons learned

I did take away a practical lesson, as well. In order to soothe this fear, I could’ve taken a bit of action to make myself feel safer while on the road (insecurity = manifestations of stuff you’re afraid of). Basically, you can either get rid of the fear that your house will burn down, or you can get insurance, which will soothe that fear. I took the arrogant approach that I shouldn’t need to worry about the insurance (or at least not fully), because I should know how to release the fear. And then, instead of actually doing the work to release the lower frequency, I just ignored it. Yeah. Dingwad. So, although I’m fully backed up (I’m not totally stupid), I don’t have complete access to all of my backup files remotely. This is an easy little fix, but something I’ve just been too lazy to implement. I realize now that this simple change will give me a lot more peace of mind while I’m on the road.

Also, I’ll be doing some actual energy work (focusing on the vision of working remotely, everything being effortless and easy and connecting perfectly) to get rid of the rest of this little belief before it can bite me in the ass again.

As to why my dear readers manifested this outage (those of you that did, anyway), I’m afraid that it comes down to your vibration. Were you annoyed? Angered? Or did you completely miss the whole thing? Did it trigger some resistance you have against hackers? Or concerns about internet safety? Whatever it was, it was a manifestation of yours, as well, and if you look carefully, you’ll see a pattern emerging. Then, call Bubba, and get him to crunch the numbers. Or call your sister, and have her call you a dingwad. Apparently, that helps.

* = Tim Ferriss is the author of The Four Hour Workweek. If you haven’t read it, run, don’t walk, to your computer, get on Amazon and order it now. It’s awesome.